The power of diversity within yourself | Rebeca Hwang

Translator: Polona Ramšak Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

We're holding hands,

Držimo se za roke,

staring at the door.

strmimo v vrata.

My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back

Moji bratje in sestre in jaz smo čakali na mamo, da se vrne

from the hospital.

iz bolnišnice.

She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day.

Tam je bila, ker je moja babica tistega dne imela operacijo raka.

Finally, the doors opened,

Končno so se vrata odprla

and she said,

in rekla je:

"She's gone.

"Umrla je.

She's gone."

Umrla je."

She started sobbing and immediately said,

Začela je hlipati in takoj nato rekla:

"We must make arrangements.

"Vse moramo urediti.

Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea."

Zadnja želja vaše babice je bila, da bi bila pokopana doma v Koreji."

I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off,

Imela sem komaj 12 let in ko se je šok unesel,

my mother's words were ringing in my ears.

so mi mamine besede odzvanjale v ušesih.

My grandmother wanted to be buried back home.

Moja babica je hotela biti pokopana v stari domovini.

We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior,

Iz Koreje smo se preselili v Argentino pred šestimi leti,

without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living.

ne da bi govorili špansko, ne da bi vedeli, s čim se bomo preživljali.

And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything,

Ob prihodu smo bili priseljenci, ki so izgubili vse,

so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives.

zato smo morali res trdo delati, da smo si ponovno zgradili življenje.

So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years,

Zato mi ni padlo na kraj pameti, da je po vseh teh letih

back home was still in Korea.

domovina še vedno Koreja.

It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday,

Začela sem razmišlljati, kje bi rada jaz nekoč bila pokopana,

where home was for me,

kaj zame predstavlja dom,

and the answer was not obvious.

in odgovor ni bil očiten.

And this really bothered me.

In to me je res morilo.

So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity.

Ta dogodek je tako v meni sprožil vseživljenjsko iskanje lastne identitete.

I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi;

Rodila sem se v Koreji, deželi kimčija;

raised in Argentina,

odrasla sem v Argentini,

where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now;

kjer sem pojedla toliko zrezkov, da sem zdaj verjetno že 80 odstotkov krava;

and I was educated in the US,

izobraževala sem se v ZDA,

where I became addicted to peanut butter.

kjer sem postala odvisna od arašidovega masla.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian,

V otroštvu sem se počutila Argentinko,

but my looks betrayed me at times.

a včasih me je izdal moj izgled.

I remember on the first day of middle school,

Spomnim se prvega dne v sedmem razredu,

my Spanish literature teacher came into the room.

ko je v učilnico prišla učiteljica španske književnosti.

She scanned all of my classmates,

S pogledom je preletela moje sošolce

and she said,

in rekla:

"You -- you have to get a tutor,

"Ti - moraš si dobiti inštruktorja,

otherwise, you won't pass this class."

drugače ne boš naredila tega predmeta."

But by then I was fluent in Spanish already,

A takrat sem že tekoče govorila špansko,

so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian,

tako da se je zdelo, da bi bila lahko Korejka ali Argentinka,

but not both.

a ne oboje.

It felt like a zero-sum game,

Bilo je kot igra z enim zmagovalcem,

where I had to give up my old identity

v kateri se moram odreči svoji stari identiteti,

to be able to gain or earn a new one.

da bom lahko pridobila ali si zaslužila novo.

So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea,

Ko sem bila torej stara 18 let, sem se odločila oditi v Korejo

hoping that finally I could find a place to call home.

v upanju, da bom končno našla kraj, ki ga bom lahko imenovala dom.

But there people asked me,

A tam so me ljudje spraševali:

"Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?"

"Zakaj govoriš korejsko s španskim naglasom?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes

Prav gotovo si Japonka, ker imaš velike oči

and your foreign body language."

in tujo telesno govorico."

And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian,

Torej sem bila preveč korejska, da bi bila Argentinka,

but too Argentinian to be Korean.

a tudi preveč argentinska, da bi bila Korejka.

And this was a pivotal realization to me.

In to je bilo zame ključno spoznanje.

I had failed to find that place in the world to call home.

Ni mi uspelo najti tistega kraja na svetu, ki bi ga imenovala dom.

But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent --

A koliko Korejcev z japonskim izgledom, ki govorijo s španskim naglasom,

or even more specific, Argentinian accent --

ali celo bolj specifično - z argentinskim naglasom -

do you think are out there?

pa mislite, da je na svetu?

Perhaps this could be an advantage.

Morda bi to lahko bila prednost.

It was easy for me to stand out,

Z lahkoto sem izstopala,

which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing,

kar ne more biti slabo v hitro spreminjajočem se svetu,

where skills could become obsolete overnight.

kjer lahko znanje čez noč postane zastarelo.

So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality

Tako sem v ljudeh, ki sem jih srečala, nehala iskati

with the people that I met.

stoodstotne podobnosti.

Instead, I realized that oftentimes, I was the only overlap

Namesto tega sem se zavedla, da sem pogosto edini faktor sovpadanja

between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other.

med skupinami ljudi, ki so ponavadi v konfliktu drug z drugim.

So with this realization in mind,

S tem zavedanjem v mislih

I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself --

sem se odločila sprejeti vse različne verzije same sebe

even allow myself to reinvent myself at times.

in si celo dovolila, da sem se včasih na novo odkrila.

So for example, in high school,

V srednji šoli sem na primer bila,

I have to confess I was a mega-nerd.

moram priznati, super piflarka.

I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle --

Imela nisem nobenega smisla za modo - debela očala, preprosta frizura -

you can get the idea.

lahko si predstavljate.

I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework.

Mislim, da sem imela prijatelje samo zato, ker so od mene prepisovali nalogo.

That's the truth.

To je resnica.

But once at university,

A ko sem bila enkrat na univerzi,

I was able to find a new identity for myself,

mi je uspelo najti novo identiteto

and the nerd became a popular girl.

in piflarka je postala popularna punca.

But it was MIT,

A hodila sem na tehniško univerzo v Massachusettsu,

so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that.

tako da ne vem, če se s tem lahko zares hvalim.

As they say over there,

Z njihovimi besedami:

"The odds are good,

"Dobro kaže,

but the goods are odd."

dobrote pa so slabe."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked

Tolikokrat sem zamenjala svojo študijsko smer, da se je moj svetovalec

that I should get a degree in "random studies."

šalil, da naj diplomiram iz 'poljubnih študij'.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

I told this to my kids.

To sem povedala svojim otrokom.

And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities.

In potem, skozi leta, sem pridobila veliko različnih identintet.

I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator.

Začela sem kot izumiteljica, podjetnica, družbena inovatorka.

Then I became an investor,

Nato sem postala investitorka,

a woman in tech,

ženska v tehnologiji,

a teacher.

učiteljica.

And most recently, I became a mom,

In nazadnje sem postala mama ali,

or as my toddler says repeatedly,

kakor moj malček nenehno ponavlja,

"Mom!" day and night.

'mami' noč in dan.

Even my accent was so confused --

Celo moj naglas je bil precej zmeden.

its origin was so obscure,

Njegov izvor je bil neznan,

that my friends called it, "Rebecanese."

da so ga moji prijatelji imenovali 'rebekanščina'.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

But reinventing yourself can be very hard.

A odkrivanje samega sebe je lahko zelo težko.

You can face a lot of resistance at times.

Občasno se soočiš z veliko nasprotovanja.

When I was nearly done with my PhD,

Ko sem skoraj končala svoj doktorat,

I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug.

se je v meni sprožila podjetniška žilica.

I was in Silicon Valley,

Bila sem v Silicijevi dolini

and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting

in pisanje doktorske teze v kleti se mi ni zdelo tako zanimivo

as starting my own company.

kot snovanje lastnega podjetja.

So I went to my very traditional Korean parents,

Zato sem šla k svojim zelo tradicionalnim korejskim staršem,

who are here today,

ki so danes tu,

with the task of letting them know

z namenom, da jim povem,

that I was going to drop out from my PhD program.

da se bom izpisala iz doktorskega študija.

You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university,

Veste, moji bratje in sestre in jaz smo prva generacija, ki smo šli na univerzo,

so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal.

zato je bilo to za priseljeniško družino nekaj pomembnega.

You can imagine how this conversation was going to go.

Lahko si predstavljate, kako je potekal tisti pogovor.

But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me,

A na srečo sem imela s seboj skrivno orožje,

which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates

razpredelnico s povprečnim zaslužkom vseh diplomirancev

from Stanford PhD programs,

iz doktorskih programov na stanfordski univerzi,

and then the average income of all the dropouts

in potem še povprečni zaslužek vseh, ki so izstopili

from Stanford graduate programs.

iz stanforskih dodiplomskih programov.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed

Moram vam povedati - to razpredelnico so ustanovitelji Googla

by the founders of Google.

prav gotovo popačili.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

But my mom looked at the chart,

A moja mama je pogledala razpredelnico

and she said,

in rekla:

"Oh, for you -- follow your passion."

"Oh, zate - sledi svoji strasti."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Hi, Mom.

Zdravo, mami.

Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe.

Danes moje iskanje identitete ni več iskanje svojega plemena.

It's more about allowing myself

Gre bolj za to, da si dovolim,

to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself

da sprejmem vse mogoče permutacije same sebe

and cultivating diversity within me

in kultiviram raznolikost znotraj sebe,

and not just around me.

ne le okoli sebe.

My boys now are three years and five months old today,

Moja fanta sta danes stara tri leta in pet mesecev

and they were already born with three nationalities

in že rodila sta se s tremi narodnostmi

and four languages.

in štirimi jeziki.

I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark --

Omeniti moram, da je moj mož iz Danske -

just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life,

da ne bi slučajno imela v življenju premalo kulturnih šokov,

I decided to marry a Danish guy.

sem se odločila poročiti z Dancem.

In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings

Pravzaprav menim, da bosta moja otroka prva Vikinga,

who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older.

ki jima bo, ko odrasteta, brada bolj težko rasla.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Yeah, we'll have to work on that.

Ja, na tem bomo še morali delati.

But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity

A resnično upam, da bosta ugotovila, da jima bo njuna raznolikost

is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives,

odprla in ustvarila številna vrata v življenju

and that they can use this as a way to find commonality

in da bosta to znala izkoristiti kot način, kako najti podobnost

in a world that's increasingly global today.

v svetu, ki je danes vedno bolj globalen.

I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried

Upam, da bosta, namesto da bi bila zaskrbljena,

that they don't fit in that one box

da ne spadata v svoje okolje

or that their identity will become irrelevant someday,

ali da bo njuna identiteta nekoč nepomembna,

that they can feel free to experiment

lahko odprta za eksperimentiranje

and to take control of their personal narrative and identity.

in da bosta prevzela nadzor nad svojo lastno zgodbo in identiteto.

I also hope that they will use their unique combination

Prav tako upam, da bosta uporabila svojo edinstveno kombinacijo

of values and languages and cultures and skills

vrednot in jezikov in kultur in znanj,

to help create a world

da bosta pomagala usvariti svet,

where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different,

v katerem se identitet ne bo več uporabljalo za odtujevanje tistega,

but rather, to bring together people.

kar izgleda drugačno, ampak raje za zbliževanje ljudi.

And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy

In najbolj pomembno, resnično upam, da bosta z izjemnim veseljem

in going through these uncharted territories,

potovala po teh neraziskanih področjih,

because I know I have.

ker vem, da jaz sem.

Now, as for my grandmother,

Kar se tiče moje babice,

her last wish was also her last lesson to me.

je bila njena zadnja želja tudi njen zadnji nauk zame.

It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea

Kot kaže, ni šlo nikoli za vrnitev v Korejo

and being buried there.

in za njen pokop tam.

It was about resting next to her son,

Šlo je za to, da je želela počivati s svojim sinom,

who had died long before she moved to Argentina.

ki je umrl, dolgo preden se je preselila v Argentino.

What mattered to her was not the ocean

Kar ji je bilo pomembno, ni bil ocean,

that divided her past and new world;

ki je razdelil njen prejšnji in novi svet;

it was about finding common ground.

šlo je za iskanje skupne točke.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(aplavz)