The power of diversity within yourself | Rebeca Hwang

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Marssi Draw

We're holding hands,

我們手牽著手，

staring at the door.

凝視著門。

My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back

我的手足和我在等我媽媽

從醫院回來。

from the hospital.

She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day.

她到醫院去是因為 我外婆那天要動癌症手術。

Finally, the doors opened,

終於，門開了，

and she said,

她說：

"She's gone.

「她走了。

She's gone."

她走了。」

She started sobbing and immediately said,

她開始啜泣，馬上說：

"We must make arrangements.

「我們必須要安排後事。

Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea."

你們的外婆臨死前的願望 是要葬在韓國的老家。」

I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off,

我那時才快十二歲， 當震驚漸漸平復，

my mother's words were ringing in my ears.

我媽媽的話語在我耳中迴響。

My grandmother wanted to be buried back home.

我外婆想要被埋葬在老家。

We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior,

在那件事的六年前， 我們從韓國搬到阿根廷，

without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living.

完全不懂西班牙文， 也不知道我們要如何維生。

And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything,

抵達時，我們是失去了一切的移民，

so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives.

我們得要非常努力重建我們的生活。

So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years,

所以我從來沒有想過， 在這麼多年之後，

back home was still in Korea.

老家還在韓國。

It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday,

那件事讓我沉思 將來我希望被埋在哪裡，

where home was for me,

對我來說，家在哪裡？

and the answer was not obvious.

這個答案並非顯而易見。

And this really bothered me.

而且真的讓我很困擾。

So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity.

所以這個事件讓我開始了 我探索身分的終生追尋。

I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi;

我生在韓國——韓式泡菜之地，

raised in Argentina,

我在阿根廷長大，

where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now;

在那裡，我吃了好多牛排， 我現在可能有 80% 的成分都是牛；

and I was educated in the US,

我在美國受教育，

where I became addicted to peanut butter.

在這裡，我對花生醬上了癮。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian,

在我的童年，我覺得 自己完全是阿根廷人，

but my looks betrayed me at times.

但有時，我的外表會背叛我。

I remember on the first day of middle school,

我記得上中學的第一天，

my Spanish literature teacher came into the room.

我的西班牙文學老師進了教室。

She scanned all of my classmates,

她的視線掃過我所有的同學，

and she said,

她說：

"You -- you have to get a tutor,

「你——你得找個家教，

otherwise, you won't pass this class."

不然，你過不了這門課。」

But by then I was fluent in Spanish already,

但那時，我的西班牙語 已經很流利了，

so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian,

所以感覺就像是， 我可以是韓國人或阿根廷人，

but not both.

但不能兩者都是。

It felt like a zero-sum game,

感覺就像一個零和遊戲，

where I had to give up my old identity

在遊戲中，我得要放棄我的舊身分，

to be able to gain or earn a new one.

才能取得或賺得一個新身分。

So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea,

所以，當我 18 歲時， 我決定去韓國，

hoping that finally I could find a place to call home.

希望我最終能找到 一個可以稱為家的地方。

But there people asked me,

但在那裡，大家會問我：

"Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?"

「為什麼你說韓語時 會有西班牙口音？」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes

還有「你一定是日本人， 因為你的眼睛很大，

and your foreign body language."

而且你有外國人的肢體語言。」

And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian,

結果發現，我太韓國了， 所以無法成為阿根廷人；

but too Argentinian to be Korean.

但也太阿根廷了， 無法成為韓國人。

And this was a pivotal realization to me.

對我來說，這是很關鍵性的啟發。

I had failed to find that place in the world to call home.

我沒能在世界上找到 一個可以稱為家的地方。

But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent --

但有多少看起來像日本人， 卻說西班牙口音的韓國人——

or even more specific, Argentinian accent --

或更明確來說，是阿根廷口音——

do you think are out there?

存在於世界上？

Perhaps this could be an advantage.

也許這能成為一種優勢。

It was easy for me to stand out,

我很容易就能夠突顯出來，

which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing,

在一個快速改變的世界， 有這樣的特性並不是壞事，

where skills could become obsolete overnight.

畢竟技能都可能在一夕之間被淘汰。

So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality

所以，當我遇到一個人時， 我不再去尋求我和他之間

有 100% 的共同性。

with the people that I met.

Instead, I realized that oftentimes, I was the only overlap

取而代之，我了解到，

在常有衝突的族群之間， 我反而是唯一的交集。

between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other.

So with this realization in mind,

心中有了這樣的體悟之後，

I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself --

我便決定要擁抱 各個不同版本的我——

even allow myself to reinvent myself at times.

甚至允許我偶爾重新發明我自己。

So for example, in high school,

比如，在高中，

I have to confess I was a mega-nerd.

我得供認，我那時是個超級怪胎。

I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle --

我完全對時尚無感—— 厚厚的眼鏡、簡單的髮型——

you can get the idea.

你們了解的。

I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework.

我想，我還會有朋友是因為 我會給別人看我的作業。

That's the truth.

是真的。

But once at university,

但一旦到了大學，

I was able to find a new identity for myself,

我就找到了我自己的新身分，

and the nerd became a popular girl.

怪胎變成了受歡迎的女孩。

But it was MIT,

但那是麻省理工學院，

so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that.

所以對那個轉變， 我不知道我能居多少功。

As they say over there,

在那裡，大家會說：

"The odds are good,

「找到男人的勝算 （和「古怪」同字）很好，

but the goods are odd."

但貨色（和「好」同字） 很古怪。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked

我轉系好多次， 我的指導教授們都開玩笑說，

that I should get a degree in "random studies."

我應該去主修「隨機專題研究」。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I told this to my kids.

我都這樣告訴我的孩子。

And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities.

多年來，我取得了許多不同的身分。

I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator.

我一開始是發明家、 企業家、社會創新者。

Then I became an investor,

接著我變成了投資人、

a woman in tech,

在科技業的女性、

a teacher.

老師。

And most recently, I became a mom,

最近期，我變成了媽媽，

or as my toddler says repeatedly,

或是我那還在學步孩子 口中不斷說的：

"Mom!" day and night.

「媽！」日夜說個不停。

Even my accent was so confused --

甚至連我的口音都很混淆了——

its origin was so obscure,

它的來源相當模糊，

that my friends called it, "Rebecanese."

我的朋友稱它為「瑞貝卡語」。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But reinventing yourself can be very hard.

但重新發明自己是很困難的。

You can face a lot of resistance at times.

有時要面臨許多抗拒。

When I was nearly done with my PhD,

當我快要取得博士學位時，

I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug.

我受到企業家成功故事的感染。

I was in Silicon Valley,

我當時在矽谷，

and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting

在地下室埋頭寫論文似乎不像

自己開公司那麼有趣。

as starting my own company.

So I went to my very traditional Korean parents,

所以我去找我非常傳統的韓國父母，

who are here today,

他們今天也在這裡，

with the task of letting them know

我當時去找他們是要告訴他們

that I was going to drop out from my PhD program.

我打算要放棄博士班。

You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university,

我和我的手足是家中 第一個讀到大學的世代，

so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal.

對一個移民家庭來說， 這算是件大事。

You can imagine how this conversation was going to go.

你們可以想像 這段對話的下場會如何。

But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me,

但幸運的是，我有一個秘密武器，

which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates

我有一張圖，上面有

所有在史丹佛拿到 博士學位的研究生平均收入，

from Stanford PhD programs,

and then the average income of all the dropouts

接著有所有史丹佛研究所

from Stanford graduate programs.

中輟生的平均收入。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed

我必須要告訴各位—— 這張圖絕對因為

Google 的創辦人而很偏向一邊。

by the founders of Google.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But my mom looked at the chart,

但我媽媽看著那張圖，

and she said,

她說：

"Oh, for you -- follow your passion."

「喔，你只管去追隨你的熱情吧。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Hi, Mom.

嗨，媽。

Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe.

現在，我的身分追尋 不再是要找到我的族群。

It's more about allowing myself

比較像是要讓我自己

to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself

擁抱我自己所有可能的組合方式，

and cultivating diversity within me

並培養我自己內在的多樣性，

and not just around me.

不僅是外在多樣性。

My boys now are three years and five months old today,

我的兒子現在一個三歲、 一個五個月大，

and they were already born with three nationalities

他們生下來就有三種國籍

and four languages.

和四種語言。

I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark --

我應該要提一下， 我先生來自丹麥——

just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life,

為了確保我的人生 能有足夠的文化衝擊，

I decided to marry a Danish guy.

我決定嫁給丹麥人。

In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings

事實上，我認為我的孩子 將會是史無前例

who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older.

長大之後很難長出鬍子的維京人。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Yeah, we'll have to work on that.

是啊，我們得要想辦法。

But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity

但我真的希望他們會了解的多樣性

is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives,

在他們的的人生中能夠為他們 打開並創造許多扇門，

and that they can use this as a way to find commonality

且他們可以用這種方式，

in a world that's increasingly global today.

在這個越來越全球化的 現代世界中找到共通性。

I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried

我希望他們不會感到焦慮和擔心，

that they don't fit in that one box

怕自己無法符合那一種期望，

or that their identity will become irrelevant someday,

或是他們的身分 有一天會變得不重要，

that they can feel free to experiment

他們其實可以自由地去實驗，

and to take control of their personal narrative and identity.

去掌控他們自己的故事和身分。

I also hope that they will use their unique combination

我也希望他們會用 他們獨一無二的組合，

of values and languages and cultures and skills

價值觀、語言、文化和技能的組合，

to help create a world

來協助創造一個新世界，

where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different,

在這個新世界，身分不再 被用來疏遠外表不同的人，

but rather, to bring together people.

而是用來將人們凝聚在一起。

And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy

最重要的，我真心希望他們

在走過這些未知的領域時， 能找到莫大的喜悅，

in going through these uncharted territories,

because I know I have.

因為我知道我找到了喜悅。

Now, as for my grandmother,

至於我的外婆，

her last wish was also her last lesson to me.

她最後的願望也是 她教我的最後一課。

It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea

結果發現，重點從來 就不是要回到韓國

and being buried there.

並埋葬在那裡。

It was about resting next to her son,

重點是要在她的兒子身邊安息，

who had died long before she moved to Argentina.

她的兒子早在她搬到 阿根廷之前就過世了。

What mattered to her was not the ocean

對她來說，要緊的不是

將她的過去和新世界分離的海洋；

that divided her past and new world;

it was about finding common ground.

而是要找到共同之處。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）