Zainab Salbi: Women, wartime and the dream of peace

Prevodilac: Sandra Gojic Lektor: Ana Zivanovic-Nenadovic

I woke up in the middle of the night

Probudila sam se usred noći

with the sound of heavy explosion.

usled zvuka teške eksplozije.

It was deep at night.

Bila je duboka noć.

I do not remember what time it was.

Ne sećam se koliko je bilo sati.

I just remember the sound

Sećam se samo da je zvuk

was so heavy

bio toliko jak

and so very shocking.

da me je šokirao.

Everything in my room was shaking --

Sve u mojoj sobi se treslo -

my heart, my windows,

moje srce, prozori,

my bed, everything.

krevet - sve.

I looked out the windows

Pogledala sam kroz prozor,

and I saw a full half-circle

i videla pun polukrug

of explosion.

eksplozije.

I thought it was just like the movies,

Pomislila sam kako je baš kao u filmovima,

but the movies had not conveyed them

ali filmovi nisu preneli

in the powerful image that I was seeing

moćnu sliku koju sam gledala -

full of bright red

punu jasne crvene,

and orange and gray,

narandžaste i sive,

and a full circle of explosion.

pun krug eksplozije.

And I kept on staring at it

Buljila sam u nju

until it disappeared.

sve dok nije nestala.

I went back to my bed,

Vratila sam se u krevet,

and I prayed,

molila se,

and I secretly thanked God

i tajno zahvalila Bogu

that that missile

što raketa

did not land on my family's home,

nije pala na moju porodičnu kuću,

that it did not kill my family that night.

što nije pobila moju porodicu te noći.

Thirty years have passed,

30 godina je prošlo,

and I still feel guilty about that prayer,

i još uvek osećam krivicu zbog te molitve,

for the next day, I learned that that missile

jer sam sledećeg dana saznala da

landed on my brother's friend's home

je pogodila kuću prijatelja moga brata,

and killed him

ubila ga,

and his father,

i njegovog oca,

but did not kill his mother or his sister.

ali ne i majku i sestru.

His mother showed up the next week

Njegova majka se pojavila sledeće nedelje

at my brother's classroom

u učionici mog brata

and begged seven-year-old kids

i molila sedmogodišnju decu

to share with her any picture they may have

da podele sa njom sliku njenog sina,

of her son,

ako je imaju,

for she had lost everything.

jer je izgubila sve.

This is not a story

Ovo nije priča

of a nameless survivor of war,

brojnih preživelih,

and nameless refugees,

i brojnih izbeglica,

whose stereotypical images we see in our newspapers

čije stereotipne fotografije gledamo u novinama

and our TV

i na TVu

with tattered clothes,

sa dronjavom odećom,

dirty face, scared eyes.

prljavim licima, uplašenim očima.

This is not a story of a nameless someone

Ovo nije priča nekog bezimenog

who lived in some war,

koji je živeo u nekom ratu,

who we do not know their hopes, their dreams,

čije nade, snove, uspehe,

their accomplishments, their families,

porodice, uverenja, vrednosti

their beliefs, their values.

ne poznajemo.

This is my story.

Ovo je moja priča.

I was that girl.

Ja sam bila ta devojčica.

I am another image and vision

Ja sam još jedna slika i prilika

of another survivor of war.

onog ko je preživeo rat.

I am that refugee,

Ja sam ta izbeglica,

and I am that girl.

ja sam ta devojčica.

You see,

Znate,

I grew up in war-torn Iraq,

odrasla sam u ratom razorenom Iraku,

and I believe that there are two sides of wars

i verujem da postoje dve strane ratova

and we've only seen

a da vidimo samo

one side of it.

jednu.

We only talk about

Govorimo samo

one side of it.

o jednoj strani.

But there's another side

Ali postoji još jedna

that I have witnessed

čiji sam svedok,

as someone who lived in it

jer sam u njoj živela

and someone who ended up working in it.

jer sam u njoj na kraju i radila.

I grew up with the colors of war --

Odrasla sam sa bojama rata -

the red colors of fire and blood,

crvena boja vatre i krvi,

the brown tones of earth

smeđi tonovi zemlje

as it explodes

koja eksplodira

in our faces

u naša lica

and the piercing silver

i prodorna srebrna

of an exploded missile,

eksplodiranih raketa,

so bright

toliko jarkih

that nothing can protect your eyes from it.

da ničim niste mogli zaštiti oči.

I grew up

Odrasla sam

with the sounds of war --

uz zvuke rata -

the staccato sounds of gunfire,

nepovezani pucnjevi iz oružja,

the wrenching booms of explosions,

bolni zvukovi eksplozija,

ominous drones of jets flying overhead

zloslutno zujanje aviona koji lete iznad glava

and the wailing warning sounds

i zavijajući zvuci sirena

of sirens.

za uzbunu.

These are the sounds you would expect,

To su zvukovi koje očekujete,

but they are also the sounds

ali su tu takođe piskavi

of dissonant concerts of a flock of birds

zvuci neharmoničnih, noćnih koncerata

screeching in the night,

jata ptica,

the high-pitched honest cries

piskav, iskren plač

of children

dece

and the thunderous,

i gromoglasna,

unbearable

nepodnošljiva

silence.

tišina.

"War," a friend of mine said,

"Rat", rekao je moj prijatelj,

"is not about sound at all.

"uopšte nema veze sa zvukom.

It is actually about silence,

Radi se o tišini,

the silence of humanity."

ljudskoj tišini."

I have since left Iraq

Kad sam napustila Irak

and founded a group called Women for Women International

osnovala sam grupu "Women for Women International"

that ends up working

koja radi sa ženama

with women survivors of wars.

koje su preživele rat.

In my travels and in my work,

Tokom mojih putovanja i rada

from Congo to Afghanistan,

u Kongu i Avganistanu,

from Sudan to Rwanda,

Sudanu i Ruandi,

I have learned not only

shvatila sam, da

that the colors and the sounds of war are the same,

nisu samo boje i zvukovi rata isti,

but the fears of war are the same.

već je i strah isti.

You know, there is a fear of dying,

Znate, postoji strah od umiranja,

and do not believe any movie character

i ne verujte nijednoj filmskoj ulozi

where the hero is not afraid.

u kojoj se heroj ne plaši.

It is very scary

Vrlo je strašno

to go through that feeling

proći kroz osećanje,

of "I am about to die"

"Umreću"

or "I could die in this explosion."

ili "Mogu umreti u ovoj eksploziji".

But there's also the fear

Ali tu je i strah

of losing loved ones,

od gubitka voljenih,

and I think that's even worse.

i misliim da je to čak i strašnije.

It's too painful. You don't want to think about it.

Previše je bolno; ne želite da mislite na to.

But I think the worst kind of fear is the fear --

Ali mislim da je najgori -

as Samia, a Bosnian woman, once told me,

kao što je Samia, žena iz Bosne, jednom rekla,

who survived the four-years besiege of Sarajevo;

ona je preživela četvorogodišnju opsadu Sarajeva.

she said, "The fear

Rekla je:" Strah

of losing

od gubitka

the 'I' in me,

svog JA,

the fear of losing

strah od gubitka

the 'I' in me."

svog JA."

That's what my mother in Iraq

To mi je govorila majka

used to tell me.

u Iraku.

It's like dying from inside-out.

Kao da umirete iznutra.

A Palestinian woman once told me,

Palestinska žena mi je jednom rekla:

"It is not about the fear of one death,"

"Ne radi se o jednom strahu od smrti,

she said, "sometimes I feel

ponekad osećam da

I die 10 times in one day,"

sam umrla 10 puta u toku jednog dana",

as she was describing the marches of soldiers

i opisivala je marševe vojnika

and the sounds of their bullets.

i zvuke njihovih metaka.

She said, "But it's not fair,

I rekla je:" Nije fer,

because there is only one life,

jer postoji samo jedan život,

and there should only be one death."

i treba da bude samo jedna smrt.".

We have been only seeing

Viđali smo samo

one side of war.

jednu stranu rata.

We have only been discussing and consumed

Razgovarali smo o i bili okupirani

with high-level preoccupations

važnim zadacima vojnih trupa,

over troop levels, drawdown timelines,

zadacima ograničenim vremenom,

surges and sting operations,

iznenadnim i obmanljivim operacijama,

when we should be examining the details

kada bi trebalo da ispitamo detalje

of where the social fabric

o tome gde je socijalno tkivo

has been most torn,

najviše razrušeno,

where the community has improvised

gde je zajednica improvizovala

and survived

i preživela

and shown acts of resilience

i pokazala čin otpora

and amazing courage

i neverovatnu hrabrost

just to keep life going.

radi održanja života.

We have been so consumed

Toliko smo zatrpani sa,

with seemingly objective discussions

naizgled objektivnim razgovorima

of politics, tactics,

o politici, taktici,

weapons, dollars

oružju, novcu

and casualties.

i žrtvama.

This is the language

Ovo je jezik

of sterility.

izolovanosti.

How casually

Kako se odnosimo

we treat casualties

prema žrtvama

in the context of this topic.

u kontekstu ove teme.

This is where we conceive of rape and casualties

Ovo je mesto gde silovanje i žrtve zamišljamo

as inevitabilities.

kao neizbežnost.

Eighty percent of refugees around the world

80 odsto izbeglica širom sveta

are women and children. Oh.

čine žene i deca. Oh.

Ninety percent of modern war casualties

90 odsto žrtava modernog rata

are civilians.

jesu civili -

Seventy-five percent of them are women and children.

75 odsto od toga su žene i deca.

How interesting.

Vrlo zanimljivo.

Oh, half a million women in Rwanda

O, pola miliona žena u Ruandi

get raped in 100 days.

su silovane za 100 dana.

Or, as we speak now,

Ili, u ovom trenutku,

hundreds of thousands of Congolese women

stotine hiljada žena iz Konga

are getting raped and mutilated.

biva silovano ili osakaćeno.

How interesting.

Vrlo zanimljivo.

These just become numbers that we refer to.

I one postaju samo brojke na koje ukazujemo.

The front of wars

Ratne linije

is increasingly non-human eyes

su neljudske oči

peering down on our perceived enemies

koje posmatraju iz svemira

from space,

one koje smatramo neprijateljima,

guiding missiles toward unseen targets,

vodeći rakete ka nevidljivim metama,

while the human conduct

dok čovek upravlja

of the orchestra of media relations

orkestrom svih medija

in the event that this particular drone attack

u slučaju kada raketa pogodi

hits a villager

seljaka

instead of an extremist.

umesto ekstremistu.

It is a chess game.

To je šahovska igra.

You learn to play an international relations school

Učite da igrate međunarodno u školi međunarodnih odnosa

on your way out and up

na vašem putu dostizanja

to national and international leadership.

nacionalnog i internacionalnog vođstva.

Checkmate.

Šah - mat.

We are missing

Nedostaju nam

a completely other side of wars.

potpuno drugčije strane ratova.

We are missing my mother's story,

Nedostaje nam priča moje majke,

who made sure with every siren, with every raid,

koja se pobrinula da sa svakom sirenom, iznenadnim napadom,

with every cut off-of electricity,

svakom restrikcijom struje,

she played puppet shows for my brothers and I,

odigra lutkarsku predstavu za moju braću i mene,

so we would not be scared

kako se ne bismo uplašili

of the sounds of explosions.

zvuka eksplozija.

We are missing the story of Fareeda,

Nedostaje nam priča Faride,

a music teacher,

profesorke muzičkog,

a piano teacher, in Sarajevo,

učiteljice klavira iz Sarajeva,

who made sure

koja se pobrinula

that she kept the music school open

da muzička škola bude otvorena

every single day

svakoga dana

in the four years of besiege in Sarajevo

tokom okupacije Sarajeva.

and walked to that school,

Išla je peške do škole,

despite the snipers shooting

uprkos snajperskim pucnjevima

at that school and at her,

na tu školu i na nju,

and kept the piano, the violin, the cello

i nastavila da svira klavir, violinu,

playing the whole duration of the war,

violončelo tokom čitavog rata,

with students wearing their gloves and hats and coats.

sa studentima obučenim u rukavice, kape i kapute.

That was her fight.

To je bila njena borba.

That was her resistance.

To je bio njen otpor.

We are missing the story of Nehia,

Nedostaje nam priča Nehie,

a Palestinian woman in Gaza

palestinske žene iz Gaze,

who, the minute there was a cease-fire in the last year's war,

koja je, u momentu kada je došlo do prekida vatre prošle godine,

she left out of home,

napustila kuću,

collected all the flour

sakupila svo brašno

and baked as much bread for every neighbor to have,

i ispekla što više hleba za sve komšije,

in case there is no cease-fire the day after.

za slučaj da sutra prekida vatre ne bude.

We are missing

Nedostaju nam

the stories of Violet,

Violetine priče

who, despite surviving genocide in the church massacre,

koja je uprkos preživljavanju genocida u crkvenom masakru

she kept on going on,

nastavila,

burying bodies, cleaning homes, cleaning the streets.

zakopavala leševe, čistila kuće, ulice.

We are missing stories of women

Nedostaju nam priče žena

who are literally keeping life going

koje jednostavno vode svoje živote

in the midst of wars.

u sred rata.

Do you know --

Da li znate -

do you know that people fall in love in war

da li znate da se ljudi zaljubljuju tokom rata

and go to school

i idu u školu

and go to factories and hospitals

u fabrike i bolnice

and get divorced and go dancing and go playing

i da se razvode i da idu na ples, igraju

and live life going?

i žive život?

And the ones who are keeping that life

A one koje održavaju taj život

are women.

su žene.

There are two sides of war.

Postoje dve strane rata.

There is a side that fights,

Strana koja se bori,

and there is a side that keeps the schools

i strana koja osigurava da škole,

and the factories and the hospitals open.

fabrike i bolnice budu otvorene.

There is a side that is focused on winning battles,

Postoji strana koja je usmerena na dobijanje bitaka,

and there is a side that is focused

i strana koja je fokusirana na

on winning life.

pobedu života

There is a side that leads the front-line discussion,

Tu je strana koja vodi razgovore na prvoj liniji,

and there is a side

i strana koja

that leads the back-line discussion.

obavlja diskusiju u pozadini.

There is a side that thinks

Strana koja misli

that peace is the end of fighting,

da je mir kraj borbama,

and there is a side that thinks

i strana koja misli

that peace is the arrival

da mir donosi

of schools and jobs.

škole i poslove.

There is a side

Strana

that is led by men,

koju vode muškarci,

and there is a side

strana

that is led by women.

koju vode žene.

And in order for us to understand

I da bismo razumeli

how do we build lasting peace,

kako da sagradimo trajni mir,

we must understand war and peace

moramo razumeti rat i mir

from both sides.

sa obe strane.

We must have a full picture

Moramo imati čitavu sliku

of what that means.

toga šta to znači.

In order for us to understand

Da bismo razumeli

what actually peace means,

šta mir (zapravo) znači,

we need to understand,

moramo razumeti,

as one Sudanese woman once told me,

kao što je žena iz Sudana jednom rekla:

"Peace is the fact that my toenails

"MIr je činjenica da nokti na mojim

are growing back again."

nogama ponov rastu."

She grew up in Sudan, in Southern Sudan,

Ona je rasla u Sudanu, južnom Sudanu,

for 20 years of war,

tokom 20 godina rata,

where it killed one million people

gde je pobijeno milion ljudi

and displaced five million refugees.

i izmešteno pet miliona izbeglica.

Many women were taken as slaves

Mnoge žene su načinjene robovima

by rebels and soldiers,

od strane pobunjenika i vojnika,

as sexual slaves who were forced also

kao seksualni robovi koji su prisiljeni

to carry the ammunition and the water

da nose municiju, vodu

and the food for the soldiers.

i hranu za vojnike.

So that woman walked for 20 years,

Ta žena je hodala 20 godina,

so she would not be kidnapped again.

kako ne bi ponovo bila oteta.

And only when there was some sort of peace,

I samo onda kada je postojala neka vrsta mira,

her toenails grew back again.

njeni nokti na nogama su ponovo rasli.

We need to understand peace

Moramo da razumemo mir

from a toenail's perspective.

iz perspektive nokta na nogama.

We need to understand

Moramo razumeti

that we cannot actually have negotiations

da zapravo ne možemo imati pregovore

of ending of wars or peace

o završetku rata

without fully including women

bez potpune uključenosti žena

at the negotiating table.

u proces pregovora.

I find it amazing

Zapanjuje me

that the only group of people

da jedina grupa ljudi

who are not fighting and not killing

koja se ne bori i ne ubija

and not pillaging and not burning and not raping,

ne pljačka, ne pali i ne siluje,

and the group of people who are mostly --

i grupa ljudi koja uglavnom -

though not exclusively --

mada ne isključivo -

who are keeping life going in the midst of war,

održava život u sred rata,

are not included in the negotiating table.

nije uključena u proces pregovora.

And I do argue that women lead the back-line discussion,

Tvrdim da žene upravljaju razgovorima u pozadni,

but there are also men

ali postoje i muškarci

who are excluded from that discussion.

koji su iz toga isključeni.

The doctors who are not fighting,

Doktori koji se ne bore,

the artists, the students, the men who refuse to pick up the guns,

umetnici, studenti, oni koji odbijaju da uzmu oružje u ruku,

they are, too, excluded

i oni su isključeni

from the negotiating tables.

iz procesa pregovora.

There is no way we can talk about a lasting peace,

Ne možemo razgovarati o održivom miru,

building of democracy, sustainable economies,

izgradnji demokratije, održive ekonomije,

any kind of stabilities,

bilo koje stabilnosti,

if we do not fully include women

ako u potpunosti ne uključimo žene

at the negotiating table.

u pregovore.

Not one, but 50 percent.

Ne jedan, nego 50 odsto.

There is no way we can talk about the building of stability

Ne možemo govoriti o izgradnji stabilnosti

if we don't start investing

ako ne počnemo da ulažemo

in women and girls.

u žene i devojčice.

Did you know

Da li ste znali

that one year

da jednogodišnja

of the world's military spending

vojna potrošnja

equals 700 years

odgovara UN budžetu

of the U.N. budget

za 700 godina,

and equals 2,928 years

i jednak je UN budžetu

of the U.N. budget allocated for women?

namenjenom ženama za 2928 godina?

If we just reverse

Ako preokrenemo

that distribution of funds,

distribuciju sredstava,

perhaps we could have

možda bismo mogli imati

a better lasting peace in this world.

bolji održivi mir u svetu.

And last, but not least,

I na kraju, ali ne i manje važno,

we need to invest in peace and women,

moramo da ulažemo u mir i žene,

not only because it is the right thing to do,

ne samo zato što je to ispravno,

not only because it is the right thing to do,

ne zbog toga što je za nas dobro

for all of us to build sustainable and lasting peace today,

da izgradimo održivi i trajni mir za sve nas,

but it is for the future.

već i za budućnost.

A Congolese woman,

Žena iz Konga,

who was telling me about

koja mi je ispričala

how her children saw their father killed in front of them

kako su njena deca videla kako njihov otac gine

and saw her raped in front of them

i kako nju siluju

and mutilated in front of them,

i sakate je,

and her children saw their nine-year-old sibling

videla su i kako je njihov devetogodišnji brat

killed in front of them,

ubijen pred njihovim očima,

how they're doing okay right now.

i sada su dobro.

She got into Women for Women International's program.

Uključila se u program " Women for Women International".

She got a support network.

Dobila je mrežu podrške.

She learned about her rights.

Naučila je svoja prava.

We taught her vocational and business skills. We helped her get a job.

Naučila je stručne i poslovne veštine. Pomogli smo joj da nađe posao.

She was earning 450 dollars. She was doing okay.

Zarađivala je 450 dolara. Bila je dobro.

She was sending them to school. Have a new home.

Deca su išla u školu - imaju novi dom.

She said, "But what I worry about the most

Rekla je: " Ono što me najviše brine

is not any of that.

nisu te stvari.

I worry that my children

Brine me da moja deca

have hate in their hearts,

imaju mržnju u svojim srcima,

and when they want to grow up, they want to fight again

i da će kad odrastu, želeti ponovo da se bore

the killers of their father and their brother."

sa ubicama nihovog oca i brata."

We need to invest in women,

Moramo ulagati u žene,

because that's our only chance

jer su one naša jedina šansa

to ensure that there is no more war

da osiguramo da u budućnosti više

in the future.

ne bude rata.

That mother has a better chance to heal her children

Ova majka ima bolje šanse da oporavi svoju decu,

than any peace agreement can do.

nego bilo koji dogovor o primirju.

Are there good news? Of course, there are good news. There are lots of good news.

Ima li dobrih vesti? Naravno da ima. Ima ih mnogo.

To start with, these women that I told you about

Da počnemo, ove žene o kojima sam vam pričala

are dancing and singing every single day,

igraju i pevaju svakog dana,

and if they can,

i ako mogu,

who are we not to dance?

ko smo mi da to zabranimo.

That girl that I told you about

Devojka o kojoj sam vam pričala

ended up starting Women for Women International Group

je osnovala grupu "Women for Women International"

that impacted one million people, sent 80 million dollars,

koja je uticala na milion ljudi, poslala 80 miliona dolara,

and I started this from zero,

a počela sam od nule,

nothing, nada, [unclear].

ništa, nada ( nejasno).

(Laughter)

( smeh )

They are women who are standing on their feet

To su žene koje stoje na svojim nogama

in spite of their circumstances,

uprkos svojim okolnostima,

not because of it.

a ne zbog njih.

Think of how the world can be a much better place

Pomislite kako bi svet bilo bolje mesto

if, for a change,

ako bi, za promenu,

we have a better equality,

imali veću ravnopravnost,

we have equality,

da je imamo,

we have a representation

da imamo predstavnicu žena

and we understand war,

i razumemo rat,

both from the front-line

sa obe strane, ratne

and the back-line discussion.

i svakodnevne.

Rumi, a 13th-century Sufi poet,

Rumi, Sufi pesnik iz 13. veka,

says, "Out beyond the worlds

kaže:" Izvan svetova

of right-doings and wrong-doings,

ispravnih i pogrešnih dela,

there is a field.

postoji polje.

I will meet you there.

Srešćemo se tamo.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

Kada duša leži u toj travi,

the world is too full

svet je prepun

to talk about.

razgovora.

Ideas, language,

Ideje, jezik,

even the phrase 'each other'

čak i izraz "jedno za drugo"

no longer makes any sense."

više nema smisla.".

I humbly add -- humbly add --

Skromno dodajem - ponizno -

that out beyond

da izvan

the worlds of war and peace,

svetova rata i mira,

there is a field,

postoji polje,

and there are many women and men

gde postoji mnogo žena i muškaraca

[who] are meeting there.

koji se tu sreću.

Let us make this field a much bigger place.

Hajde da to polje načinimo većim.

Let us all meet in that field.

Hajde da se svi tu sretnemo.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

( aplauz )