Zainab Salbi: Women, wartime and the dream of peace

Prevoditelj: Katarina Smetko Recezent: Tilen Pigac - EFZG

I woke up in the middle of the night

Usred noći me probudio

with the sound of heavy explosion.

zvuk snažne eksplozije.

It was deep at night.

Bilo je gluho doba noći.

I do not remember what time it was.

Ne sjećam se koliko je bilo sati.

I just remember the sound

Sjećam se samo da je zvuk

was so heavy

bio tako glasan

and so very shocking.

i tako šokantan.

Everything in my room was shaking --

Cijela soba mi se tresla --

my heart, my windows,

moje srce, moji prozori,

my bed, everything.

moj krevet -- sve.

I looked out the windows

Pogledala sam kroz prozor

and I saw a full half-circle

i vidjela cijeli

of explosion.

polumjesec eksplozije.

I thought it was just like the movies,

Pomislila sam kako izgleda baš kao u filmovima,

but the movies had not conveyed them

ali u filmovima to nije bilo prikazano

in the powerful image that I was seeing

toliko snažno kao ono što sam ja gledala --

full of bright red

u žarko crvenoj boji

and orange and gray,

i narančastoj i sivoj

and a full circle of explosion.

i cijeli puni krug eksplozije.

And I kept on staring at it

Samo sam gledala u nju

until it disappeared.

dok nije nestala.

I went back to my bed,

Vratila sam se u krevet

and I prayed,

i počela moliti,

and I secretly thanked God

i potajno sam zahvalila bogu

that that missile

što taj projektil

did not land on my family's home,

nije pao na kuću moje obitelji

that it did not kill my family that night.

i što te noći nije ubio moju obitelj.

Thirty years have passed,

Prošlo je 30 godina

and I still feel guilty about that prayer,

i još uvijek se osjećam krivom zbog te molitve,

for the next day, I learned that that missile

jer sam sljedećeg dana doznala da je projektil

landed on my brother's friend's home

pao na kuću prijatelja moga brata

and killed him

i ubio njega

and his father,

i njegovog oca,

but did not kill his mother or his sister.

ali nije ubio njegovu majku ni njegovu sestru.

His mother showed up the next week

Njegova majka došla je sljedećeg tjedna

at my brother's classroom

u učionicu mojeg brata

and begged seven-year-old kids

i molila sedmogodišnju djecu

to share with her any picture they may have

da joj daju, ako imaju,

of her son,

bilo kakvu sliku njenog sina

for she had lost everything.

jer ona je izgubila sve.

This is not a story

Ovo nije priča

of a nameless survivor of war,

bezimene osobe koja je preživjela rat

and nameless refugees,

i bezimenih izbjeglica

whose stereotypical images we see in our newspapers

čije stereotipne slike viđamo u novinama

and our TV

i na televiziji,

with tattered clothes,

u poderanoj odjeći,

dirty face, scared eyes.

prljavih lica, prestrašenih očiju.

This is not a story of a nameless someone

Ovo nije priča nekog bezimenog,

who lived in some war,

tko je živio za vrijeme nekog rata

who we do not know their hopes, their dreams,

i za koga ne znamo kakve je imao nade,

their accomplishments, their families,

snove, uspjehe, obitelj,

their beliefs, their values.

u što je vjerovao i kakve vrijednosti je njegovao.

This is my story.

Ovo je moja priča.

I was that girl.

Ja sam bila ta djevojčica.

I am another image and vision

Ja sam još jedna slika i vizija

of another survivor of war.

još jedne osobe koja je preživjela rat.

I am that refugee,

Ja sam ta izbjeglica

and I am that girl.

i ja sam ta djevojčica.

You see,

Vidite,

I grew up in war-torn Iraq,

ja sam odrasla u ratom zahvaćenom Iraku

and I believe that there are two sides of wars

i vjerujem da svaki rat ima dvije strane,

and we've only seen

a mi vidimo

one side of it.

samo jednu.

We only talk about

Govorimo samo

one side of it.

o jednoj strani.

But there's another side

Ali postoji i druga strana

that I have witnessed

koju sam iskusila

as someone who lived in it

kao netko tko je živio u njoj

and someone who ended up working in it.

i tko je na kraju i radio u njoj.

I grew up with the colors of war --

Odrasla sam uz boje rata --

the red colors of fire and blood,

uz crvenu boju vatre i krvi,

the brown tones of earth

uz smeđe nijanse zemlje

as it explodes

koju nam eksplozije

in our faces

bacaju u lica

and the piercing silver

i prodorna srebrna boja

of an exploded missile,

projektila koji eksplodira

so bright

tako svijetlo

that nothing can protect your eyes from it.

da ničime ne možete od njega zaštititi oči.

I grew up

Odrasla sam

with the sounds of war --

uz zvukove rata --

the staccato sounds of gunfire,

staccato mitraljeza,

the wrenching booms of explosions,

moćno tutnjanje eksplozija,

ominous drones of jets flying overhead

zlosutno zujanje aviona koji nas prelijeću

and the wailing warning sounds

i upozoravajuće zavijanje

of sirens.

sirena za uzbunu.

These are the sounds you would expect,

To su zvukovi koje biste očekivali,

but they are also the sounds

ali postoje i zvukovi

of dissonant concerts of a flock of birds

neuštimanih koncerata jata ptica

screeching in the night,

koje krešte u noći,

the high-pitched honest cries

visoki tonovi

of children

iskrenog dječjeg plača

and the thunderous,

i potmula,

unbearable

nepodnošljiva

silence.

tišina.

"War," a friend of mine said,

"U ratu", rekao je jedan moj prijatelj,

"is not about sound at all.

"uopće nije bitan zvuk.

It is actually about silence,

Ono što je bitno zapravo je tišina,

the silence of humanity."

tišina čovječanstva."

I have since left Iraq

Otišla sam iz Iraka

and founded a group called Women for Women International

i osnovala grupu "Žene za žene International"

that ends up working

koja radi sa ženama

with women survivors of wars.

koje su preživjele rat.

In my travels and in my work,

Na svojim putovanjima i kroz rad,

from Congo to Afghanistan,

od Konga do Afganistana,

from Sudan to Rwanda,

od Sudana do Ruande,

I have learned not only

naučila sam ne samo

that the colors and the sounds of war are the same,

da su boje i zvukovi rata svugdje jednaki,

but the fears of war are the same.

nego da je i strah od rata također jednak.

You know, there is a fear of dying,

Znate, postoji strah od smrti

and do not believe any movie character

i nemojte vjerovati ni jednom liku iz filma

where the hero is not afraid.

gdje se glavni junak ne boji.

It is very scary

Strašno je

to go through that feeling

imati taj osjećaj:

of "I am about to die"

"umrijet ću"

or "I could die in this explosion."

ili "mogao bih umrijeti u ovoj eksploziji."

But there's also the fear

Ali postoji i strah

of losing loved ones,

od gubitka voljenih osoba

and I think that's even worse.

i mislim da je to još i gore.

It's too painful. You don't want to think about it.

Prebolno je; ne želite ni razmišljati o tome.

But I think the worst kind of fear is the fear --

Ali mislim da je najgori strah --

as Samia, a Bosnian woman, once told me,

kao što mi je Samia, žena iz Bosne, jednom rekla,

who survived the four-years besiege of Sarajevo;

a ona je preživjela četiri godine opsade Sarajeva,

she said, "The fear

rekla je:

of losing

"Strah od gubitka

the 'I' in me,

same sebe,

the fear of losing

strah od gubitka

the 'I' in me."

same sebe."

That's what my mother in Iraq

To mi je i moja majka u Iraku

used to tell me.

znala govoriti.

It's like dying from inside-out.

To je kao da umirete iznutra.

A Palestinian woman once told me,

Jedna žena iz Palestine jednom mi je rekla:

"It is not about the fear of one death,"

"Nije to strah od jedne smrti,"

she said, "sometimes I feel

rekla je, "ponekad se osjećam

I die 10 times in one day,"

kao da umrem 10 puta na dan",

as she was describing the marches of soldiers

dok je opisivala vojnike kako marširaju

and the sounds of their bullets.

i zvukove njihovih metaka.

She said, "But it's not fair,

Još je rekla: "Ali nije pošteno,

because there is only one life,

jer postoji samo jedan život,

and there should only be one death."

i trebala bi postojati samo jedna smrt."

We have been only seeing

Do sada smo vidjeli

one side of war.

samo jednu stranu rata.

We have only been discussing and consumed

Raspravljali smo i slušali

with high-level preoccupations

samo o važnim temama,

over troop levels, drawdown timelines,

o postrojbama, vremenskim crtama,

surges and sting operations,

o napadima i tajnim operacijama,

when we should be examining the details

a zapravo bismo trebali ispitivati detalje

of where the social fabric

o tome gdje je tkivo društva

has been most torn,

najviše oštećeno,

where the community has improvised

gdje je zajednica improvizirala

and survived

i preživjela

and shown acts of resilience

i pokazala otpornost

and amazing courage

i zadivljujuću hrabrost

just to keep life going.

samo da bi održala svakodnevni život.

We have been so consumed

Toliko smo zadubljeni

with seemingly objective discussions

u naoko objektivne rasprave

of politics, tactics,

o politici, taktikama,

weapons, dollars

oružju, dolarima

and casualties.

i žrtvama.

This is the language

To je jezik

of sterility.

sterilnosti.

How casually

Kako olako

we treat casualties

govorimo o žrtvama

in the context of this topic.

u kontekstu ove teme.

This is where we conceive of rape and casualties

Ovdje silovanje i žrtve

as inevitabilities.

smatramo neizbježnima.

Eighty percent of refugees around the world

80 posto izbjeglica u cijelom svijetu

are women and children. Oh.

žene su i djeca.

Ninety percent of modern war casualties

90 posto žrtava novijih ratova

are civilians.

jesu civili --

Seventy-five percent of them are women and children.

75 posto njih žene su i djeca.

How interesting.

Kako zanimljivo.

Oh, half a million women in Rwanda

Pola milijuna žena u Ruandi

get raped in 100 days.

biva silovano u 100 dana.

Or, as we speak now,

Ili, dok ovo govorim,

hundreds of thousands of Congolese women

stotine tisuća žena u Kongu

are getting raped and mutilated.

biva silovano i unakaženo.

How interesting.

Kako zanimljivo.

These just become numbers that we refer to.

One postaju samo brojevi koje navodimo.

The front of wars

Na ratnim frontovima

is increasingly non-human eyes

sve više su oči koje nisu ljudske,

peering down on our perceived enemies

koje pozorno gledaju naše zamišljene neprijatelje

from space,

iz svemira

guiding missiles toward unseen targets,

i navode projektile prema neviđenim metama,

while the human conduct

a ljudski faktor javlja se u obliku

of the orchestra of media relations

medijskog orkestra

in the event that this particular drone attack

u slučaju da je žrtva ovog konkretnog napada

hits a villager

bio neki seljak

instead of an extremist.

umjesto ekstremista.

It is a chess game.

To je igra šaha.

You learn to play an international relations school

Naučite igrati u školi za međunarodne odnose,

on your way out and up

probijate se prema vrhu,

to national and international leadership.

sve do vodeće pozicije na državnoj i međunarodnoj razini.

Checkmate.

Šah-mat.

We are missing

Propuštamo

a completely other side of wars.

potpuno drugu stranu ratova.

We are missing my mother's story,

Propuštamo priču moje majke,

who made sure with every siren, with every raid,

koja se pobrinula da tijekom svake uzbune, svake racije,

with every cut off-of electricity,

svakog nestanka struje,

she played puppet shows for my brothers and I,

izvodi lutkarske predstave za moju braću i mene,

so we would not be scared

kako se ne bismo bojali

of the sounds of explosions.

zvukova eksplozija.

We are missing the story of Fareeda,

Propuštamo Faridinu priču.

a music teacher,

Ona je bila profesorica glazbenog odgoja,

a piano teacher, in Sarajevo,

poučavala je klavir u Sarajevu.

who made sure

Pobrinula se

that she kept the music school open

da glazbena škola ostane otvorena

every single day

baš svaki dan

in the four years of besiege in Sarajevo

tijekom četiri godine opsade Sarajeva

and walked to that school,

i pješice je dolazila u tu školu,

despite the snipers shooting

unatoč pucnjavi iz snajpera,

at that school and at her,

usmjerenoj na tu školu i na nju samu

and kept the piano, the violin, the cello

i osigurala je da klavir, violina i violončelo

playing the whole duration of the war,

sviraju tijekom cijelog rata,

with students wearing their gloves and hats and coats.

s učenicima u rukavicama, kapama i kaputima.

That was her fight.

To je bila njena borba.

That was her resistance.

To je bio njen otpor.

We are missing the story of Nehia,

Propuštamo Nehijinu priču.

a Palestinian woman in Gaza

Ona je Palestinka iz Gaze.

who, the minute there was a cease-fire in the last year's war,

Onog trena kad je proglašeno primirje u prošlogodišnjem ratu,

she left out of home,

izišla je iz svoje kuće,

collected all the flour

skupila sve brašno

and baked as much bread for every neighbor to have,

i ispekla dovoljno kruha za sve susjede,

in case there is no cease-fire the day after.

za slučaj da idućeg dana ne bude primirja.

We are missing

Propuštamo

the stories of Violet,

Violetine priče.

who, despite surviving genocide in the church massacre,

Iako je preživjela genocid u masakru u crkvi,

she kept on going on,

išla je dalje,

burying bodies, cleaning homes, cleaning the streets.

zakapala je tijela, gradila domove, čistila ulice.

We are missing stories of women

Propuštamo priče žena

who are literally keeping life going

koje su doslovce održavale život

in the midst of wars.

usred ratova.

Do you know --

Znate li --

do you know that people fall in love in war

znate li da se ljudi zaljubljuju tijekom rata

and go to school

i idu u školu

and go to factories and hospitals

i odlaze u tvornice i bolnice

and get divorced and go dancing and go playing

i razvode se i plešu i igraju se

and live life going?

i žive život?

And the ones who are keeping that life

A one koje održavaju taj život

are women.

jesu žene.

There are two sides of war.

Rat ima dvije strane.

There is a side that fights,

Postoji strana koja se bori,

and there is a side that keeps the schools

i postoji strana koja drži škole

and the factories and the hospitals open.

i tvornice i bolnice otvorenima.

There is a side that is focused on winning battles,

Postoji strana koja je usredotočena na pobjeđivanje u bitkama

and there is a side that is focused

i postoji strana koja je usredotočena

on winning life.

na pobjeđivanje u životu.

There is a side that leads the front-line discussion,

Postoji strana koja vodi rasprave na frontu,

and there is a side

i postoji strana

that leads the back-line discussion.

koja vodi rasprave u pozadini.

There is a side that thinks

Postoji strana koja misli

that peace is the end of fighting,

da je mir kraj borbe,

and there is a side that thinks

a postoji i strana koja misli

that peace is the arrival

da je mir otvaranje

of schools and jobs.

škola i radnih mjesta.

There is a side

Postoji strana

that is led by men,

koju vode muškarci,

and there is a side

a postoji i strana

that is led by women.

koju vode žene.

And in order for us to understand

A kako bismo mogli razumjeti

how do we build lasting peace,

kako se gradi trajni mir,

we must understand war and peace

moramo razumjeti rat i mir,

from both sides.

s obje strane.

We must have a full picture

Moramo u cijelosti shvatiti

of what that means.

što to znači.

In order for us to understand

Kako bismo mogli razumjeti

what actually peace means,

što mir stvarno znači,

we need to understand,

moramo shvatiti,

as one Sudanese woman once told me,

kao što mi je rekla jedna žena iz Sudana,

"Peace is the fact that my toenails

"Mir je činjenica da mi nokti na nogama

are growing back again."

ponovno rastu."

She grew up in Sudan, in Southern Sudan,

Odrasla je u južnom Sudanu,

for 20 years of war,

tijekom 20 godina rata,

where it killed one million people

gdje je ubijeno milijun ljudi

and displaced five million refugees.

i protjerano pet milijuna izbjeglica.

Many women were taken as slaves

Mnoge su žene zarobljene

by rebels and soldiers,

od strane pobunjenika i vojnika,

as sexual slaves who were forced also

kao seksualne robinje koje su bile prisiljene

to carry the ammunition and the water

i da nose streljivo i vodu

and the food for the soldiers.

i hranu vojnicima.

So that woman walked for 20 years,

Tako je i ta žena hodala 20 godina,

so she would not be kidnapped again.

kako ne bi ponovno bila oteta.

And only when there was some sort of peace,

I tek kad je postignut kakav-takav mir,

her toenails grew back again.

ponovno su joj narasli nokti na nogama.

We need to understand peace

Moramo shvatiti mir

from a toenail's perspective.

iz perspektive noktiju na nogama.

We need to understand

Moramo shvatiti

that we cannot actually have negotiations

da ne možemo imati prave pregovore

of ending of wars or peace

o prekidanju ratova ili o miru,

without fully including women

a da potpuno ne uključimo žene

at the negotiating table.

za pregovaračkim stolom.

I find it amazing

Fascinantno mi je

that the only group of people

da jedina skupina ljudi

who are not fighting and not killing

koja se ne bori i ne ubija

and not pillaging and not burning and not raping,

i ne pljačka i ne pali i ne siluje,

and the group of people who are mostly --

grupa ljudi koja uglavnom --

though not exclusively --

iako ne isključivo --

who are keeping life going in the midst of war,

održava svakodnevni život tijekom rata,

are not included in the negotiating table.

nije uključena u pregovore.

And I do argue that women lead the back-line discussion,

Iako tvrdim da su žene u pozadini rasprava,

but there are also men

postoje i muškarci

who are excluded from that discussion.

koji u te rasprave nisu uključeni.

The doctors who are not fighting,

Liječnici koji se ne bore,

the artists, the students, the men who refuse to pick up the guns,

umjetnici, studenti, muškarci koji odbijaju primiti oružje u ruke,

they are, too, excluded

i oni su isključeni

from the negotiating tables.

iz pregovora.

There is no way we can talk about a lasting peace,

Ne možemo govoriti o trajnom miru,

building of democracy, sustainable economies,

izgradnji demokracije, održivom gospodarstvu

any kind of stabilities,

ni o kakvoj stabilnosti,

if we do not fully include women

ako žene nisu u potpunosti uključene

at the negotiating table.

u pregovore.

Not one, but 50 percent.

Ne jedan, nego 50 posto.

There is no way we can talk about the building of stability

Ne možemo govoriti o izgradnji stabilnosti

if we don't start investing

ako ne počnemo ulagati

in women and girls.

u žene i djevojke.

Did you know

Jeste li znali

that one year

da je jedna godina

of the world's military spending

svjetske potrošnje na vojske

equals 700 years

ekvivalentna 700 godina

of the U.N. budget

UN-ovog budžeta,

and equals 2,928 years

i da je ekvivalentna 2.928 godina

of the U.N. budget allocated for women?

UN-ovog budžeta namijenjenog za žene?

If we just reverse

Kad bismo samo preokrenuli

that distribution of funds,

tu raspodjelu sredstava,

perhaps we could have

možda bismo mogli imati

a better lasting peace in this world.

nešto trajniji mir u svijetu.

And last, but not least,

Na kraju, ali ne manje važno,

we need to invest in peace and women,

moramo ulagati u mir i u žene,

not only because it is the right thing to do,

ne samo zato što je to ispravno,

not only because it is the right thing to do,

ne samo zato što je ispravno

for all of us to build sustainable and lasting peace today,

da svi gradimo održiv i trajan mir već danas,

but it is for the future.

već zato što je to za budućnost.

A Congolese woman,

Jedna žena iz Konga

who was telling me about

pričala mi je

how her children saw their father killed in front of them

kako su njena djeca gledala kako im otac biva ubijen

and saw her raped in front of them

i kako nju siluju

and mutilated in front of them,

i kako je unakažuju pred njima,

and her children saw their nine-year-old sibling

i kako su njena djeca gledala svog devetogodišnjeg brata

killed in front of them,

kako biva ubijen njima pred očima

how they're doing okay right now.

i kako su sada dobro.

She got into Women for Women International's program.

Uključila se u program "Žene za žene International".

She got a support network.

Dobila je grupu za potporu.

She learned about her rights.

Naučila je koja su joj prava.

We taught her vocational and business skills. We helped her get a job.

Naučili smo je obrtničkim i poslovnim vještinama. Pomogli smo joj da pronađe posao.

She was earning 450 dollars. She was doing okay.

Zarađivala je 450 dolara. Išlo joj je dobro.

She was sending them to school. Have a new home.

Slala je djecu u školu, imali su novi dom.

She said, "But what I worry about the most

Rekla je: "Ali ono što me najviše brine

is not any of that.

nije ništa od toga.

I worry that my children

Brinem se da će moja djeca

have hate in their hearts,

nositi mržnju u svojim srcima,

and when they want to grow up, they want to fight again

i da će se, kad odrastu, htjeti ponovno boriti

the killers of their father and their brother."

protiv ubojica svog oca i svog brata."

We need to invest in women,

Moramo ulagati u žene,

because that's our only chance

jer to nam je jedina šansa

to ensure that there is no more war

da osiguramo da više ne bude ratova

in the future.

u budućnosti.

That mother has a better chance to heal her children

Ta majka ima bolje šanse da izliječi svoju djecu

than any peace agreement can do.

nego ikoji mirovni sporazum.

Are there good news? Of course, there are good news. There are lots of good news.

Ima li dobrih vijesti? Naravno, ima mnogo dobih vijesti.

To start with, these women that I told you about

Za početak, žene o kojima sam vam govorila

are dancing and singing every single day,

plešu i pjevaju svaki dan,

and if they can,

a ako one to mogu,

who are we not to dance?

tko smo mi da ne plešemo?

That girl that I told you about

Ona djevojka o kojoj sam vam govorila

ended up starting Women for Women International Group

osnovala je grupu "Žene za žene International",

that impacted one million people, sent 80 million dollars,

koja je pomogla milijun ljudi, poslala 80 milijuna dolara,

and I started this from zero,

a počela sam od nule,

nothing, nada, [unclear].

ničega, ništice.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

They are women who are standing on their feet

Postoje žene koje ostaju na nogama

in spite of their circumstances,

unatoč svim okolnostima,

not because of it.

a ne zbog njih.

Think of how the world can be a much better place

Zamislite kako svijet može biti mnogo bolje mjesto

if, for a change,

kad bismo, za promjenu,

we have a better equality,

imali više jednakosti.

we have equality,

Imamo jednakost,

we have a representation

imamo predstavnike

and we understand war,

i razumijemo rat,

both from the front-line

kako iz prvih redova,

and the back-line discussion.

tako i iz pozadinske rasprave.

Rumi, a 13th-century Sufi poet,

Rumi, turski pjesnik iz 13. stoljeća,

says, "Out beyond the worlds

kaže: "Negdje iza svjetova

of right-doings and wrong-doings,

ispravnih i krivih postupaka

there is a field.

postoji polje.

I will meet you there.

Sastat ćemo se ondje.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

Kad duša legne u tu travu,

the world is too full

svijet je prepun

to talk about.

da bi se o njemu razgovaralo.

Ideas, language,

Ideje, jezici,

even the phrase 'each other'

čak ni izraz "jedni druge"

no longer makes any sense."

više nema smisla."

I humbly add -- humbly add --

Skromno dodajem --

that out beyond

da negdje iza

the worlds of war and peace,

svjetova rata i mira

there is a field,

postoji polje,

and there are many women and men

i postoji mnogo žena i muškaraca

[who] are meeting there.

koji se ondje sastaju.

Let us make this field a much bigger place.

Učinimo to polje mnogo većim.

Let us all meet in that field.

Sastanimo se svi na tom polju.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)