Jennifer Senior: For parents, happiness is a very high bar

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Ivana Korom

When I was born,

Kada sam rođena,

there was really only one book

postojala je samo jedna knjiga

about how to raise your children,

o tome kako da podižete svoju decu,

and it was written by Dr. Spock.

nju je napisao dr Spok.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Thank you for indulging me.

Hvala za povlađivanje.

I have always wanted to do that.

Oduvek sam želela da to uradim.

No, it was Benjamin Spock,

Ne, bio je to Bendžamin Spok,

and his book was called "The Common Sense Book of Baby And Child Care."

a knjiga se zvala: "Nega dece po dr Spoku".

It sold almost 50 million copies by the time he died.

Do njegove smrti, prodato je skoro 50 miliona kopija knjige.

Today, I, as the mother of a six-year-old,

Danas, ja, kao majka šestogodišnjaka,

walk into Barnes and Noble,

uđem u knjižaru

and see this.

i vidim ovo.

And it is amazing

Zadivljujuća je

the variety that one finds on those shelves.

raznovrsnost koju možete naći na tim policama.

There are guides to raising an eco-friendly kid,

Postoje uputstva kako da podignete ekološki osvešćeno dete,

a gluten-free kid,

bezglutensko dete,

a disease-proof kid,

dete otporno na bolesti,

which, if you ask me, is a little bit creepy.

što je, ako se ja pitam, malčice jezivo.

There are guides to raising a bilingual kid

Postoje uputstva za podizanje bilingvalnog deteta,

even if you only speak one language at home.

čak i ako govorite samo jedan jezik kod kuće.

There are guides to raising a financially savvy kid

Postoje uputstva za podizanje deteta koje se razume u finansije,

and a science-minded kid

i deteta s umom naučnika,

and a kid who is a whiz at yoga.

i deteta koje je ekspert joge.

Short of teaching your toddler how to defuse

Osim učenja kako da vaše novorođenče razmontira

a nuclear bomb,

nuklearnu bombu,

there is pretty much a guide to everything.

postoji vodič skoro za sve.

All of these books are well-intentioned.

Sve ove knjige su dobronamerne.

I am sure that many of them are great.

Sigurna sam da su mnoge od njih sjajne.

But taken together, I am sorry,

No sveukupno, žao mi je,

I do not see help

ne vidim pomoć

when I look at that shelf.

kad pogledam na tu policu.

I see anxiety.

Vidim nespokoj.

I see a giant candy-colored monument

Vidim džinovski ružičasti spomenik

to our collective panic,

našoj kolektivnoj panici.

and it makes me want to know,

Zbog čega se pitam,

why is it that raising our children

kako to da je podizanje naše dece

is associated with so much anguish

povezano sa toliko muke

and so much confusion?

i toliko nedoumica?

Why is it that we are at sixes and sevens

Kako to da smo stali na krivu nogu

about the one thing human beings

sa jedinom stvari koju su ljudska bića

have been doing successfully for millennia,

obavljala uspešno milenijumima,

long before parenting message boards

mnogo pre nego što su se blogovi

and peer-reviewed studies came along?

i naučne studije o roditeljstvu pojavili?

Why is it that so many mothers and fathers

Zašto toliko majki i očeva

experience parenthood as a kind of crisis?

doživljava roditeljstvo kao krizu?

Crisis might seem like a strong word,

Kriza će vam se možda učiniti kao prejaka reč,

but there is data suggesting it probably isn't.

ali istraživanja pokazuju da verovatno i nije.

There was, in fact, a paper of just this very name,

Postoji, zapravo, studija koja se baš tako zove:

"Parenthood as Crisis," published in 1957,

"Roditeljstvo kao kriza", objavljena 1957.

and in the 50-plus years since,

i u narednih 50 i više godina,

there has been plenty of scholarship

mnogi naučnici su

documenting a pretty clear pattern

zabeležili prilično jasan obrazac

of parental anguish.

muka roditeljstva.

Parents experience more stress than non-parents.

Roditelji doživljavaju više stresa od onih koji to nisu.

Their marital satisfaction is lower.

Njihovo bračno zadovoljstvo je manje.

There have been a number of studies

Postoje brojne studije

looking at how parents feel

o tome kako se roditelji

when they are spending time with their kids,

osećaju dok provode vreme sa svojom decom,

and the answer often is, not so great.

a odgovor često i nije baš povoljan.

Last year, I spoke with a researcher

Prošle godine sam razgovarala s naučnikom

named Matthew Killingsworth

po imenu Metju Kilingsvort,

who is doing a very, very imaginative project

on sprovodi veoma, veoma maštovite projekte

that tracks people's happiness,

koji se bave ljudskom srećom

and here is what he told me he found:

i evo šta mi je rekao da je otkrio:

"Interacting with your friends

"Druženje s prijateljima

is better than interacting with your spouse,

je bolje od druženja sa svojim supružnikom,

which is better than interacting with other relatives,

što je bolje od druženja s rodbinom,

which is better than interacting with acquaintances,

što je bolje od druženja s poznanicima,

which is better than interacting with parents,

što je bolje od druženja s roditeljima,

which is better than interacting with children.

što je bolje od druženja s decom,

Who are on par with strangers."

koja su u istoj ravni sa strancima."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But here's the thing.

Ali evo šta je u pitanju.

I have been looking at what underlies these data

Posmatrala sam tokom tri godine

for three years,

šta se krije iza ovih podataka

and children are not the problem.

i deca nisu problem.

Something about parenting right now at this moment

Nešto u vezi sa roditeljstvom baš sad u ovom momentu,

is the problem.

to je problem.

Specifically, I don't think we know

Tačnije, mislim da mi ni ne znamo

what parenting is supposed to be.

kako bi roditeljstvo trebalo da izgleda.

Parent, as a verb,

Roditeljstvo, kao imenica,

only entered common usage in 1970.

tek je ušlo u opštu upotrebu 1970.

Our roles as mothers and fathers have changed.

Naše uloge majki i očeva su se promenile.

The roles of our children have changed.

Uloge naše dece su se promenile.

We are all now furiously improvising

Svi mi sad žestoko improvizujemo

our way through a situation

dok prolazimo kroz situacije

for which there is no script,

za koje ne postoje uputstva.

and if you're an amazing jazz musician,

Ukoliko ste izuzetan džez muzičar

then improv is great,

onda je improvizacija sjajna,

but for the rest of us,

ali za nas ostale

it can kind of feel like a crisis.

nekako izgleda poput krize.

So how did we get here?

Kako smo došli dovde?

How is it that we are all now navigating

Kako to da svi sad plovimo

a child-rearing universe

kroz univerzum dečje nege

without any norms to guide us?

bez ikakvih pravila kojima bismo se vodili?

Well, for starters, there has been

Pa, za početak, desila se

a major historical change.

velika istorijska promena.

Until fairly recently,

Sve do nedavno,

kids worked, on our farms primarily,

deca su radila, pre svega na našim imanjima,

but also in factories, mills, mines.

ali takođe i u fabrikama, mlinovima, rudnicima.

Kids were considered economic assets.

Deca su smatrana ekonomskim aktivom.

Sometime during the Progressive Era,

Negde, tokom ere progresa,

we put an end to this arrangement.

ukinuli smo ovakvo uređenje.

We recognized kids had rights,

Shvatili smo da deca imaju prava,

we banned child labor,

zabranili smo dečji rad,

we focused on education instead,

usredsredili smo se umesto toga na obrazovanje

and school became a child's new work.

te je škola postala novo zanimanje za decu.

And thank God it did.

I hvala bogu da jeste.

But that only made a parent's role

No to je samo učinilo ulogu roditelja,

more confusing in a way.

na neki način još nejasnijom.

The old arrangement might not have been

Staro uređenje možda i nije bilo

particularly ethical, but it was reciprocal.

naročito etično, ali je bilo recipročno.

We provided food, clothing, shelter,

Mi smo obezbeđivali hranu, odeću, sklonište

and moral instruction to our kids,

i moralne pouke našoj deci,

and they in return provided income.

a ona su za uzvrat privređivala.

Once kids stopped working,

Čim su deca prestala da rade,

the economics of parenting changed.

ekonomija roditeljstva se promenila.

Kids became, in the words of one

Deca su postala, prema rečima jednog

brilliant if totally ruthless sociologist,

briljantnog, mada potpuno nemilosrdnog sociologa:

"economically worthless but emotionally priceless."

"ekonomski bezvredna, ali emocionalno neprocenjiva."

Rather than them working for us,

Umesto da ona rade za nas,

we began to work for them,

mi smo počeli da radimo za njih,

because within only a matter of decades

jer je samo za nekoliko decenija

it became clear:

postalo jasno:

if we wanted our kids to succeed,

ako želimo da naša deca budu uspešna,

school was not enough.

škola nije dovoljna.

Today, extracurricular activities are a kid's new work,

Danas su vannastavne aktivnosti dečje novo zanimanje,

but that's work for us too,

ali to je posao i za nas takođe,

because we are the ones driving them to soccer practice.

jer mi smo ti koji ih vozimo na fudbalski trening.

Massive piles of homework are a kid's new work,

Obimni domaći zadaci su dečje novo zanimanje,

but that's also work for us,

ali to je takođe i naš posao,

because we have to check it.

jer mi moramo da ih proveravamo.

About three years ago, a Texas woman

Pre oko tri godine, jedna Teksašanka

told something to me

mi je rekla nešto

that totally broke my heart.

što mi je potpuno slomilo srce.

She said, almost casually,

Rekla je, gotovo nonšalantno:

"Homework is the new dinner."

"Domaći zadatak je nova večera."

The middle class now pours all of its time

Srednja klasa danas troši sve svoje vreme,

and energy and resources into its kids,

energiju i sredstva na decu,

even though the middle class

iako srednja klasa

has less and less of those things to give.

ima sve manje i manje svega ovoga da da.

Mothers now spend more time with their children

Majke danas provode više vremena sa svojom decom

than they did in 1965,

nego što su 1965.,

when most women were not even in the workforce.

kada većina žena nije pripadala radnoj snazi.

It would probably be easier for parents

Verovatno bi roditeljima bilo lakše

to do their new roles

da igraju svoje uloge

if they knew what they were preparing their kids for.

kada bi znali za šta pripremaju svoju decu.

This is yet another thing that makes modern parenting

Ovo je još jedna stvar zbog koje je moderno roditeljstvo

so very confounding.

tako konfuzno.

We have no clue what portion our wisdom, if any,

Nemamo predstavu koja će naša mudrost, ako će ijedna,

is of use to our kids.

da bude od koristi našoj deci.

The world is changing so rapidly,

Svet se menja tako brzo,

it's impossible to say.

da je nemoguće to znati.

This was true even when I was young.

Tako je bilo čak i kad sam ja bila mlada.

When I was a kid, high school specifically,

Kada sam bila dete, tačnije u srednjoj školi,

I was told that I would be at sea

rečeno mi je da ću da budem izgubljena

in the new global economy

u novoj globalnoj ekonomiji

if I did not know Japanese.

ukoliko ne budem govorila japanski.

And with all due respect to the Japanese,

I, uz dužno poštovanje Japancima,

it didn't turn out that way.

nije ispalo tako.

Now there is a certain kind of middle-class parent

Danas imamo tip roditelja iz srednje klase

that is obsessed with teaching their kids Mandarin,

koji je opsednut time da njegova deca znaju mandarinski,

and maybe they're onto something,

i možda su na tragu nečega,

but we cannot know for sure.

ali ne možemo da budemo sigurni.

So, absent being able to anticipate the future,

Kako nismo u stanju da predvidimo budućnost,

what we all do, as good parents,

svi mi, kao dobri roditelji,

is try and prepare our kids

pokušavamo da pripremimo našu decu

for every possible kind of future,

na sve moguće ishode u budućnosti,

hoping that just one of our efforts will pay off.

nadajući se da će se bar neki naš trud isplatiti.

We teach our kids chess,

Učimo našu decu šah,

thinking maybe they will need analytical skills.

misleći da će im možda trebati analitičke veštine.

We sign them up for team sports,

Upisujemo ih na timske sportove,

thinking maybe they will need collaborative skills,

misleći kako će im možda trebati veština saradnje,

you know, for when they go to Harvard Business School.

znate, ako upišu Poslovnu školu na Harvadu.

We try and teach them to be financially savvy

Pokušavamo da ih naučimo kako da razumeju finansije

and science-minded and eco-friendly

i razmišljaju kao naučnici i da budu ekološki osvešćeni

and gluten-free,

i da žive bez glutena.

though now is probably a good time to tell you

Možda je sad dobar trenutak da vam kažem

that I was not eco-friendly and gluten-free as a child.

da ja nisam bila ekološki osvešćena, niti sam živela bez glutena.

I ate jars of pureed macaroni and beef.

Pojela sam tegle i tegle pasiranih makarona s govedinom.

And you know what? I'm doing okay.

I znate šta? Ne ide mi loše.

I pay my taxes.

Plaćam porez.

I hold down a steady job.

Imam stalan posao.

I was even invited to speak at TED.

Čak su me i pozvali da govorim na TED-u.

But the presumption now is that

No danas živimo u ubeđenju

what was good enough for me, or for my folks for that matter,

da ono što je bilo dobro za mene ili za moje roditelje,

isn't good enough anymore.

više nije dovoljno dobro.

So we all make a mad dash to that bookshelf,

Zato svi mi mahnito hrlimo toj polici s knjigama,

because we feel like if we aren't trying everything,

jer imamo osećaj da ako sve ne pokušamo,

it's as if we're doing nothing

biće kao da nismo uradili ništa

and we're defaulting on our obligations to our kids.

i kao da smo se oglušili o obaveze prema našoj deci.

So it's hard enough to navigate our new roles

Dovoljno nam je teško snalaziti se u novim ulogama

as mothers and fathers.

majki i očeva.

Now add to this problem something else:

Sada tome dodajte i ovo:

we are also navigating new roles

mi se takođe snalazimo u novim ulogama

as husbands and wives

muževa i žena

because most women today are in the workforce.

jer je većina žena danas radna snaga.

This is another reason, I think,

Mislim da je ovo dodatni razlog

that parenthood feels like a crisis.

zašto se roditeljstvo čini poput krize.

We have no rules, no scripts, no norms

Ne postoje pravila, uputstva, norme

for what to do when a child comes along

koje bi nas pripremile za dolazak deteta,

now that both mom and dad are breadwinners.

sada kada i mama i tata zarađuju za hleb.

The writer Michael Lewis once put this

Pisac Majkl Luis primetio je to

very, very well.

veoma, veoma dobro.

He said that the surest way

Rekao je da je najsigurniji način

for a couple to start fighting

da se par posvađa,

is for them to go out to dinner with another couple

taj da izađe na večeru s drugim parom

whose division of labor

čija je raspodela rada

is ever so slightly different from theirs,

iole drugačija od njihove,

because the conversation in the car on the way home

jer će razgovor u autu, na putu do kuće,

goes something like this:

da izgleda ovako:

"So, did you catch that Dave is the one

"Jesi li čuo da kod njih Dejv

who walks them to school every morning?"

svakog jutra vodi decu u školu?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Without scripts telling us who does what

Bez uputstava koja bi nam rekla šta je čiji posao

in this brave new world, couples fight,

u ovom vrlom novom svetu, parovi se svađaju,

and both mothers and fathers each have

a i jedni i drugi imaju

their legitimate gripes.

osnov za žalbu.

Mothers are much more likely

Majke najverovatnije

to be multi-tasking when they are at home,

rade više poslova kada su kod kuće,

and fathers, when they are at home,

a očevi, kada su kod kuće,

are much more likely to be mono-tasking.

najverovatnije rade samo jedan posao.

Find a guy at home, and odds are

Pronađite muškarca koji je kod kuće i sve su prilike

he is doing just one thing at a time.

da radi samo jedan posao.

In fact, UCLA recently did a study

Zapravo, nedavno je Univerzitet u Kaliforniji uradio studiju

looking at the most common configuration

u kojoj su posmatrali najčešće konfiguracije

of family members in middle-class homes.

porodičnih članova u domaćinstvima srednje klase.

Guess what it was?

Pogodite šta su otkrili?

Dad in a room by himself.

Tata je često sam u sobi.

According to the American Time Use Survey,

Prema istraživanju "Kako amerikanci provode vreme",

mothers still do twice as much childcare as fathers,

majke i dalje dvostruko više brinu o deci od očeva,

which is better than it was in Erma Bombeck's day,

što je daleko bolje nego u vreme Erme Bombek,

but I still think that something she wrote

ali i dalje mislim da ono što je ona napisala

is highly relevant:

i danas stoji:

"I have not been alone in the bathroom since October."

"Nisam bila sama u kupatilu od oktobra."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But here is the thing: Men are doing plenty.

Ali evo o čemu se radi: muškarci mnogo rade.

They spend more time with their kids

Provode više vremena sa svojom decom

than their fathers ever spent with them.

nego što su njihovi očevi provodili s njima.

They work more paid hours, on average,

Rade više sati, u proseku,

than their wives,

nego njihove supruge,

and they genuinely want to be good,

i uistinu žele da budu dobri,

involved dads.

angažovani očevi.

Today, it is fathers, not mothers,

Danas se očevi, ne majke,

who report the most work-life conflict.

najčešće žale na konflikt između posla i slobodnog vremena.

Either way, by the way,

Kako god, usput,

if you think it's hard for traditional families

ako mislite da je teško tradicionalnim porodicama

to sort out these new roles,

da izađu na kraj s novim ulogama,

just imagine what it's like now

samo zamislite kako je danas

for non-traditional families:

netradicionalnim porodicama:

families with two dads, families with two moms,

porodicama s dvojicom očeva, porodicama s dve mame,

single-parent households.

samohranim roditeljima.

They are truly improvising as they go.

Oni uistinu improvizuju u hodu.

Now, in a more progressive country,

U naprednijim državama,

and forgive me here for capitulating to cliché

oprostićete mi što podležem klišeu

and invoking, yes, Sweden,

i prizivam, da, Švedsku,

parents could rely on the state

roditelji se mogu osloniti

for support.

na pomoć države.

There are countries that acknowledge

Postoje zemlje koje prepoznaju

the anxieties and the changing roles

strepnje i izmene u ulogama

of mothers and fathers.

majki i očeva.

Unfortunately, the United States is not one of them,

Nažalost, SAD nije jedna od njih.

so in case you were wondering what the U.S.

Ukoliko ste se pitali šta SAD

has in common with Papua New Guinea and Liberia,

ima zajedničko sa Papuom Novom Gvinejom i Liberijom,

it's this:

evo šta:

We too have no paid maternity leave policy.

ni mi nemamo plaćeno porodiljsko bolovanje.

We are one of eight known countries that does not.

Mi smo jedna od osam poznatih zemalja koja to nema.

In this age of intense confusion,

U ovom dobu intenzivne pometnje,

there is just one goal upon which

samo je jedan cilj oko kojeg

all parents can agree,

će svi roditelji da se slože,

and that is whether they are

i to bez obzira da li su

tiger moms or hippie moms, helicopters or drones,

autoritarne mame, mame hipici, prezaštitničke mame ili pritajene tigrice,

our kids' happiness is paramount.

sreća naše dece je najvažnija.

That is what it means

Eto šta znači

to raise kids in an age

podizanje dece u vremenu

when they are economically worthless

u kome su ekonomski bezvredna,

but emotionally priceless.

ali emocionalno neprocenjiva.

We are all the custodians of their self-esteem.

Svi smo mi čuvari njihovog samopoštovanja.

The one mantra no parent ever questions is,

Mantra u koju ni jedan roditelj ne sumnja glasi:

"All I want is for my children to be happy."

"Sve što želim svom detetu je da bude srećno."

And don't get me wrong:

I nemojte me pogrešno shvatiti,

I think happiness is a wonderful goal for a child.

mislim da je dečja sreća izuzetan cilj.

But it is a very elusive one.

Ali je i veoma nedostižan cilj.

Happiness and self-confidence,

Sreća i samopuzdanje,

teaching children that is not like teaching them

učiti decu tome, nije isto kao učiti ih

how to plow a field.

kako da uzoru njivu.

It's not like teaching them how to ride a bike.

Nije isto kao učiti ih kako da voze bicikl.

There's no curriculum for it.

Ne postoji nastavni plan za to.

Happiness and self-confidence can be the byproducts of other things,

Sreća i samopouzdanje mogu da budu nusproizvodi nečeg drugog,

but they cannot really be goals unto themselves.

ali ne mogu zaista da budu ciljevi za sebe.

A child's happiness

Dečja sreća

is a very unfair burden to place on a parent.

je veoma nepravedno breme za roditelje.

And happiness is an even more unfair burden

Sreća je još nepravednije breme

to place on a kid.

za decu.

And I have to tell you,

I moram da vam kažem

I think it leads to some very strange excesses.

kako mislim da to vodi u izuzetno čudne krajnosti.

We are now so anxious

Toliko se brinemo

to protect our kids from the world's ugliness

da zaštitimo decu od nakaznosti sveta

that we now shield them from "Sesame Street."

da ih danas štitimo od "Ulice Sezam".

I wish I could say I was kidding about this,

Volela bih da mogu da kažem kako se šalim,

but if you go out and you buy

ali ako krenete da kupite

the first few episodes of "Sesame Street" on DVD,

prvih nekoliko epizoda "Ulice Sezam" na DVD-ju,

as I did out of nostalgia,

kao što sam ja, zbog nostalgije,

you will find a warning at the beginning

zateći ćete upozorenje na početku

saying that the content is not suitable

koje vam kaže kako taj sadržaj nije pogodan

for children.

za decu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Can I just repeat that?

Mogu li to da ponovim?

The content of the original "Sesame Street"

Sadržaj originalne "Ulice Sezam"

is not suitable for children.

nije pogodan za decu.

When asked about this by The New York Times,

Kada ju je Njujork tajms upitao o ovome,

a producer for the show gave a variety of explanations.

producentkinja serije je ponudila niz obrazloženja.

One was that Cookie Monster smoked a pipe

Jedno od njih je da Keksomlat puši lulu

in one skit and then swallowed it.

u jednom skeču i potom je proguta.

Bad modeling. I don't know.

Loš uzor. Pojma nemam.

But the thing that stuck with me

Ali ono što mi se urezalo u sećanje

is she said that she didn't know

je da je rekla kako nije sigurna

whether Oscar the Grouch could be invented today

da li bi Oskar mogao da bude izmišljen u današnjem vremenu

because he was too depressive.

jer je isuviše depresivan.

I cannot tell you how much this distresses me.

Ne mogu da vam opišem koliko me ovo pogađa.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

You are looking at a woman

Gledate u ženu,

who has a periodic table of the Muppets

s periodnim sistemom Mapeta

hanging from her cubicle wall.

koji vise na zidu njenog odeljenja.

The offending muppet, right there.

Uvredljivi Mapet je tačno tu.

That's my son the day he was born.

Ovo je moj sin onog dana kad se rodio.

I was high as a kite on morphine.

Zbog morfijuma sam lebdela poput zmaja.

I had had an unexpected C-section.

Imala sam neočekivani carski rez.

But even in my opiate haze,

No čak i kroz svoju opijatsku izmaglicu,

I managed to have one very clear thought

uspela sam da uhvatim jednu jasnu misao

the first time I held him.

dok sam ga držala prvi put u naručju.

I whispered it into his ear.

Prošaputala sam mu na uho.

I said, "I will try so hard not to hurt you."

Rekla sam: "Daću sve od sebe da te ne povredim."

It was the Hippocratic Oath,

Bila je to Hipokratova zakletva,

and I didn't even know I was saying it.

a ja nisam ni znala da je izgovaram.

But it occurs to me now

No sad mi pada na pamet

that the Hippocratic Oath

kako je Hipokratova zakletva

is a much more realistic aim than happiness.

daleko realističniji cilj od sreće.

In fact, as any parent will tell you,

Zapravo, kao što će svaki roditelj da vam kaže,

it's awfully hard.

to je užasno teško.

All of us have said or done hurtful things

Svi smo mi izgovorili ili uradili nešto uvredljivo

that we wish to God we could take back.

što bismo rado povukli.

I think in another era

Mislim da u prošlosti

we did not expect quite so much from ourselves,

nismo toliko očekivali od sebe

and it is important that we all remember that

i važno je da svi to zapamtimo

the next time we are staring with our hearts racing

sledeći put kad budemo zurili, dok nam srca lupaju,

at those bookshelves.

u te police s knjigama.

I'm not really sure how to create new norms

Nisam baš sigurna kako da stvorimo nova pravila

for this world,

za ovaj svet,

but I do think that

ali verujem da,

in our desperate quest to create happy kids,

u svom očajničkom pohodu ka stvaranju srećnog deteta,

we may be assuming the wrong moral burden.

možda preuzimamo pogrešno moralno breme.

It strikes me as a better goal,

Pada mi na pamet kako je bolji cilj

and, dare I say, a more virtuous one,

i, usudiću se da kažem, uzvišeniji

to focus on making productive kids

da se usredsredimo na stvaranje produktivne dece

and moral kids,

i moralne dece,

and to simply hope that happiness will come to them

i da se prosto nadamo da će sreća da proizađe

by virtue of the good that they do

iz dobra koje čine

and their accomplishments

i iz njihovih postignuća

and the love that they feel from us.

i ljubavi koju osećaju od nas.

That, anyway, is one response to having no script.

To je, svakako, jedan od odgovora na nepostojanje uputstava.

Absent having new scripts,

Kako nemamo nova uputstva,

we just follow the oldest ones in the book --

mi prosto pratimo ona najstarija u knjizi -

decency, a work ethic, love —

pristojnost, radnu etiku, ljubav -

and let happiness and self-esteem take care of themselves.

a neka se sreća i samopoštovanje postaraju sami za sebe.

I think if we all did that,

Verujem da kad bismo svi postupali ovako,

the kids would still be all right,

deca bi i dalje bila u redu,

and so would their parents,

a i njihovi bi roditelji,

possibly in both cases even better.

moguće u oba slučaja čak i bolje.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)