Jennifer Senior: For parents, happiness is a very high bar

Translator: Andreja Benčina Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

When I was born,

Ko sem se rodila jaz,

there was really only one book

je bila pravzaprav samo ena knjiga

about how to raise your children,

o vzgoji otrok

and it was written by Dr. Spock.

in napisal jo je Dr. Spock.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Thank you for indulging me.

Hvala za tole.

I have always wanted to do that.

Vedno sem si želela to narediti.

No, it was Benjamin Spock,

Ne, bil je Benjamin Spock,

and his book was called "The Common Sense Book of Baby And Child Care."

in imela je naslov 'Nega in vzgoja otroka'.

It sold almost 50 million copies by the time he died.

Do njegove smrti se je prodala v skoraj 50 milijonih izvodov.

Today, I, as the mother of a six-year-old,

Danes, stopim kot mama šestletnika

walk into Barnes and Noble,

v knjigarno Barnes and Noble

and see this.

in vidim tole.

And it is amazing

In osupljiva je

the variety that one finds on those shelves.

raznolikost gradiva na tistih policah.

There are guides to raising an eco-friendly kid,

Tam so vodniki za vzgojo eko-otroka,

a gluten-free kid,

brezglutenskega otroka,

a disease-proof kid,

otroka odpornega na bolezni,

which, if you ask me, is a little bit creepy.

kar je, če me vprašate, malce strašljivo.

There are guides to raising a bilingual kid

Tam so vodniki za vzgojo dvojezičnega otroka,

even if you only speak one language at home.

čeprav doma govorite le en jezik.

There are guides to raising a financially savvy kid

So vodniki za vzgojo finančno ozaveščenega otroka

and a science-minded kid

in znanstveno usmerjenega otroka

and a kid who is a whiz at yoga.

in otroka, ki obvlada jogo.

Short of teaching your toddler how to defuse

Razen vodnika za učenje kako deaktivirati

a nuclear bomb,

atomsko bombo

there is pretty much a guide to everything.

je praktično na voljo vodnik za vse.

All of these books are well-intentioned.

In vse te knjige imajo dober namen.

I am sure that many of them are great.

Prepričana sem, da je veliko odličnih.

But taken together, I am sorry,

Ampak, res mi je žal, gledano skupaj,

I do not see help

v njih ne vidim pomoči,

when I look at that shelf.

ko gledam na tisto polico.

I see anxiety.

Vidim tesnobo.

I see a giant candy-colored monument

Ogromen spomenik v barvah bombonov

to our collective panic,

posvečen naši kolektivni paniki,

and it makes me want to know,

in ob tem se sprašujem,

why is it that raising our children

zakaj je vzgajanje naših otrok

is associated with so much anguish

povezano s toliko tesnobe

and so much confusion?

in toliko zmede?

Why is it that we are at sixes and sevens

Zakaj smo deljeni

about the one thing human beings

glede edine reči,

have been doing successfully for millennia,

ki smo jo že tisočletja počeli uspešno,

long before parenting message boards

davno pred prihodom starševskih spletnih forumov

and peer-reviewed studies came along?

in verodostojnih študij?

Why is it that so many mothers and fathers

Zakaj toliko mam in očetov

experience parenthood as a kind of crisis?

doživlja starševstvo kot neko krizo?

Crisis might seem like a strong word,

Kriza se mogoče zdi močna beseda,

but there is data suggesting it probably isn't.

a so podatki, ki kažejo, da najverjetneje ni.

There was, in fact, a paper of just this very name,

Pravzaprav je bila študija s prav takim imenom

"Parenthood as Crisis," published in 1957,

'Parenthood as Crisis' objavljena leta 1957,

and in the 50-plus years since,

in v petdesetih letih po tem

there has been plenty of scholarship

je bilo napisanega veliko učenjaškega,

documenting a pretty clear pattern

ki dokumentira precej jasen vzorec

of parental anguish.

starševske stiske.

Parents experience more stress than non-parents.

Starši doživljajo večji stres kot odrasli, ki niso.

Their marital satisfaction is lower.

Njihovo zadovoljstvo v zakonu je manjše.

There have been a number of studies

Opravljene so bile mnoge študije

looking at how parents feel

o počutju staršev,

when they are spending time with their kids,

pri preživljanju časa s svojimi otroki

and the answer often is, not so great.

in pogost odgovor je, da ne tako super.

Last year, I spoke with a researcher

Lani sem govorila z raziskovalcem,

named Matthew Killingsworth

Matthewom Killingsworthom,

who is doing a very, very imaginative project

ki dela na zelo, zelo domiselnem projektu,

that tracks people's happiness,

ki meri zadovoljstvo ljudi

and here is what he told me he found:

in povedal mi je, kaj je ugotovil:

"Interacting with your friends

"Stiki s prijatelji,

is better than interacting with your spouse,

so nekaj boljšega kot stiki z zakoncem,

which is better than interacting with other relatives,

ki so boljši od stikov s sorodniki,

which is better than interacting with acquaintances,

ki so boljši od tistih z znanci,

which is better than interacting with parents,

ki so boljši od stika s starši,

which is better than interacting with children.

ki so boljši od stikov z otroki.

Who are on par with strangers."

Ti so na enaki ravni kot tujci."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But here's the thing.

A poslušajte.

I have been looking at what underlies these data

Raziskovala sem, kaj je temelj vseh teh podatkov

for three years,

tri leta,

and children are not the problem.

in otroci niso težava.

Something about parenting right now at this moment

Nekaj pri starševstvu, prav ta trenutek

is the problem.

je pravi problem.

Specifically, I don't think we know

Natančneje, mislim, da ne vemo,

what parenting is supposed to be.

kaj bi starševstvo moralo biti.

Parent, as a verb,

Starš, je kot glagol

only entered common usage in 1970.

vstopil v splošno rabo šele 1970.

Our roles as mothers and fathers have changed.

Naše vloge kot mame in očetje so se spremenile.

The roles of our children have changed.

Vloge naših otrok so se spremenile.

We are all now furiously improvising

In sedaj vsi besno improviziramo

our way through a situation

in iščemo pot skozi situacijo

for which there is no script,

za katero ni scenarija.

and if you're an amazing jazz musician,

Če ste odličen jazz glasbenik,

then improv is great,

potem je improvizacija odlična stvar,

but for the rest of us,

a za vse nas ostale,

it can kind of feel like a crisis.

se lahko čuti nekako kot kriza.

So how did we get here?

Kako smo se spravili v to?

How is it that we are all now navigating

Kako je mogoče, da zdaj krmarimo

a child-rearing universe

skozi vesolje vzgoje otrok

without any norms to guide us?

brez standardov, ki bi nas vodili?

Well, for starters, there has been

No, za začetek je prišlo

a major historical change.

do velike zgodovinske spremembe.

Until fairly recently,

Še do nedavnega

kids worked, on our farms primarily,

so otroci delali, v glavnem na naših kmetijah,

but also in factories, mills, mines.

a tudi v tovarnah, mlinih in rudnikih.

Kids were considered economic assets.

Otroci so bili ekonomska pridobitev.

Sometime during the Progressive Era,

Enkrat v dobi napredka,

we put an end to this arrangement.

smo temu dogovoru naredili konec.

We recognized kids had rights,

Otrokom smo priznali pravice,

we banned child labor,

prepovedali smo otroško delo,

we focused on education instead,

in se namesto tega osredotočili na njihovo izobraževanje,

and school became a child's new work.

in šola je postala otrokova nova služba.

And thank God it did.

In hvala bogu, da je.

But that only made a parent's role

Ampak to je samo naredilo vlogo staršev

more confusing in a way.

na nek način bolj zmedeno.

The old arrangement might not have been

Stari dogovor mogoče ni bil

particularly ethical, but it was reciprocal.

pretirano etičen, a je bil vzajemen.

We provided food, clothing, shelter,

Mi smo zagotovili hrano, obleko, zavetje

and moral instruction to our kids,

in moralno vzgojo otrokom,

and they in return provided income.

ti pa so v zameno prinesli dohodek.

Once kids stopped working,

Ko pa so otroci nehali delati,

the economics of parenting changed.

se je ekonomija starševstva spremenila.

Kids became, in the words of one

Otroci so postali, po besedah

brilliant if totally ruthless sociologist,

brilijantnega, čeprav povsem brezobzirnega sociologa

"economically worthless but emotionally priceless."

"ekonomsko ničvredni, a čustveno neprecenljivi."

Rather than them working for us,

Namesto, da bi oni delali za nas,

we began to work for them,

smo začeli delati zanje,

because within only a matter of decades

saj je v pičlih nekaj desetletjih

it became clear:

postalo jasno:

if we wanted our kids to succeed,

če smo hoteli, da našim otrokom uspe,

school was not enough.

šola ni bila dovolj.

Today, extracurricular activities are a kid's new work,

Danes so otrokova nova služba izvenšolske dejavnosti,

but that's work for us too,

a te so tudi delo za nas,

because we are the ones driving them to soccer practice.

saj smo mi tisti, ki jih vozimo na trening nogometa.

Massive piles of homework are a kid's new work,

Ogromni kupi domače naloge so otrokova nova služba,

but that's also work for us,

a te so tudi delo za nas,

because we have to check it.

saj jo moramo preverjati.

About three years ago, a Texas woman

Pred dobrimi tremi leti mi je ženska iz Teksasa

told something to me

povedala nekaj

that totally broke my heart.

kar mi je povsem strlo srce.

She said, almost casually,

Skoraj brezbrižno mi je rekla:

"Homework is the new dinner."

"Domača naloga je nova večerja."

The middle class now pours all of its time

Srednji razred danes vliva ves svoj čas

and energy and resources into its kids,

in energijo in dohodke v svoje otroke,

even though the middle class

čeprav ima srednji razred

has less and less of those things to give.

vedno manj možnosti, da te stvari zagotovi.

Mothers now spend more time with their children

Mame preživljajo več časa s svojimi otroki

than they did in 1965,

kot so leta 1965,

when most women were not even in the workforce.

ko večina žensk ni bila niti zaposlenih.

It would probably be easier for parents

Verjetno bi bilo staršem lažje

to do their new roles

opravljati svoje nove vloge,

if they knew what they were preparing their kids for.

če bi vedeli na kaj svoje otroke sploh pripravljajo.

This is yet another thing that makes modern parenting

In to je še ena od reči, ki sodobno starševstvo dela

so very confounding.

tako zelo zavajajoče.

We have no clue what portion our wisdom, if any,

Pojma nimamo kateri del naše modrosti, če sploh kateri,

is of use to our kids.

bo uporaben za naše otroke.

The world is changing so rapidly,

Svet se spreminja tako hitro,

it's impossible to say.

da je nemogoče napovedati.

This was true even when I was young.

To je bilo res že v moji mladosti.

When I was a kid, high school specifically,

Ko sem bila še otrok, še posebno v srednji šoli,

I was told that I would be at sea

mi je bilo rečeno, da bom pečena

in the new global economy

v novi svetovni ekonomiji,

if I did not know Japanese.

če ne bom znala japonsko.

And with all due respect to the Japanese,

In z vsem spoštovanjem do Japoncev,

it didn't turn out that way.

se stvari niso tako obrnile.

Now there is a certain kind of middle-class parent

Danes so tu določeni starši srednjega razreda,

that is obsessed with teaching their kids Mandarin,

ki obsedeno učijo svoje otroke mandarinščino

and maybe they're onto something,

in mogoče je nekaj na tem,

but we cannot know for sure.

a z gotovostjo tega ne moremo reči.

So, absent being able to anticipate the future,

Torej, ker ne moremo napovedati prihodnosti

what we all do, as good parents,

kar vsi delamo kot dobri starši

is try and prepare our kids

je to, da poskušamo pripraviti naše otroke

for every possible kind of future,

na vse mogoče različice prihodnosti

hoping that just one of our efforts will pay off.

v upanju, da se bo vsaj nekaj od tega izplačalo.

We teach our kids chess,

Učimo jih igrati šah,

thinking maybe they will need analytical skills.

ker bodo mogoče potrebovali analitične sposobnosti.

We sign them up for team sports,

Vpisujemo jih v športne klube,

thinking maybe they will need collaborative skills,

ker bodo mogoče potrebovali timske sposobnosti,

you know, for when they go to Harvard Business School.

saj veste, ko bodo šli na Harvard Business School.

We try and teach them to be financially savvy

Poskušamo jih naučiti odgovornega ravnanja z denarjem

and science-minded and eco-friendly

in biti znanstveno usmerjeni in ekološki

and gluten-free,

in brezglutenski,

though now is probably a good time to tell you

čeprav je mogoče zdaj dobro, da vam povem,

that I was not eco-friendly and gluten-free as a child.

da sama nisem bila ekološki in brezglutenski otrok.

I ate jars of pureed macaroni and beef.

Pojedla sem kupe pireja iz testenin in govedine.

And you know what? I'm doing okay.

In veste kaj? Čisto v redu sem.

I pay my taxes.

Plačujem davke.

I hold down a steady job.

Imam redno službo.

I was even invited to speak at TED.

Povabili so me celo, da govorim na TED.

But the presumption now is that

A danes se domneva,

what was good enough for me, or for my folks for that matter,

da kar je bilo zame dobro, ali za moje starše,

isn't good enough anymore.

danes ni več dobro.

So we all make a mad dash to that bookshelf,

In vsi se divje zapodimo k tisti knjižni polici,

because we feel like if we aren't trying everything,

ker imamo občutek, da če ne poskušamo vsega

it's as if we're doing nothing

je enako, kot če ne bi naredili ničesar

and we're defaulting on our obligations to our kids.

in ne opravljamo svoje dolžnosti do naših otrok.

So it's hard enough to navigate our new roles

Tako je že dovolj težko usmerjati naše nove vloge

as mothers and fathers.

kot mame in očetje.

Now add to this problem something else:

In k temu zdaj dodajmo nekaj drugega:

we are also navigating new roles

hkrati usmerjamo tudi nove vloge

as husbands and wives

kot možje in žene,

because most women today are in the workforce.

saj je danes večina žensk zaposlenih.

This is another reason, I think,

Mislim, da je to še en razlog,

that parenthood feels like a crisis.

da se starševstvo čuti kot kriza.

We have no rules, no scripts, no norms

Nimamo pravil, scenarijev, standardov

for what to do when a child comes along

za to kaj narediti, ko pride otrok

now that both mom and dad are breadwinners.

zdaj, ko tako oče kot mama služita kruh.

The writer Michael Lewis once put this

Pisatelj Michael Lewis je to nekoč

very, very well.

zelo, zelo dobro opisal.

He said that the surest way

Dejal je, da je zagotovljen način

for a couple to start fighting

za to, da se par začne prepirati,

is for them to go out to dinner with another couple

da gre na večerjo z drugim parom,

whose division of labor

kjer je delitev opravil

is ever so slightly different from theirs,

minimalno drugačna od njunega,

because the conversation in the car on the way home

ker gre pogovor v avtu na poti domov

goes something like this:

nekako takole:

"So, did you catch that Dave is the one

"Si slišal, da je Dave tisti,

who walks them to school every morning?"

ki jih vsak dan peš pospremi v šolo?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Without scripts telling us who does what

Brez scenarijev, ki bi nam povedali kdo kaj počne,

in this brave new world, couples fight,

se v tem krasnem novem svetu pari prepirajo

and both mothers and fathers each have

in tako mame kot očetje imajo vsak zase

their legitimate gripes.

trdne argumente.

Mothers are much more likely

Mame veliko bolj običajno

to be multi-tasking when they are at home,

doma opravljajo več del hkrati

and fathers, when they are at home,

in očetje, ko so doma,

are much more likely to be mono-tasking.

veliko običajneje delajo le eno opravilo.

Find a guy at home, and odds are

Poiščite moškega doma in zelo verjetno je,

he is doing just one thing at a time.

da počne le eno stvar naenkrat.

In fact, UCLA recently did a study

Pravzaprav je univerza UCLA nedavno naredila študijo,

looking at the most common configuration

ki je beležila najbolj običajno razporeditev

of family members in middle-class homes.

družinskih članov v prostorih domov srednjega razreda.

Guess what it was?

Uganete kakšna je?

Dad in a room by himself.

Oče, sam v sobi.

According to the American Time Use Survey,

Po anketi American Time Use Survey

mothers still do twice as much childcare as fathers,

mame še vedno vzgajajo otroke dvakrat več kot moški,

which is better than it was in Erma Bombeck's day,

kar je bolje kot v dneh Erme Bombeck,

but I still think that something she wrote

a mislim, da je njeno pisanje

is highly relevant:

še vedno zelo aktualno:

"I have not been alone in the bathroom since October."

"V kopalnici nisem bila sama že od oktobra."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But here is the thing: Men are doing plenty.

A poglejte: moški delajo veliko.

They spend more time with their kids

Preživljajo več časa z otroki

than their fathers ever spent with them.

kot so ga njihovi očetje z njimi.

They work more paid hours, on average,

V povprečju delajo več ur

than their wives,

kot njihove žene,

and they genuinely want to be good,

in si res želijo biti dobri

involved dads.

sodelujoči očetje.

Today, it is fathers, not mothers,

Danes so očetje tisti, ne mame,

who report the most work-life conflict.

ki največkrat poročajo o konfliktu služba-zasebnost.

Either way, by the way,

Kakorkoli, mimogrede,

if you think it's hard for traditional families

če mislite, da je tradicionalni družini hudo,

to sort out these new roles,

pri razbiranju svojih novih vlog,

just imagine what it's like now

pomislite, kako je danes

for non-traditional families:

netradicionalnim družinam:

families with two dads, families with two moms,

družine z dvemi očeti, ali dvemi mamami,

single-parent households.

samohranilska gospodinjstva.

They are truly improvising as they go.

Ti resnično improvizirajo na vsakem koraku.

Now, in a more progressive country,

Danes, v bolj razviti deželi,

and forgive me here for capitulating to cliché

in oprostite mi zdaj za poseganje po klišeju

and invoking, yes, Sweden,

in sklicevanje na, ja, Švedsko,

parents could rely on the state

se starši lahko zanesejo na državo

for support.

za podporo.

There are countries that acknowledge

So države, ki priznavajo

the anxieties and the changing roles

strahove in spreminjajoče se vloge

of mothers and fathers.

mater in očetov.

Unfortunately, the United States is not one of them,

Na žalost Amerika ni ena od njih,

so in case you were wondering what the U.S.

zato če ste se spraševali, kaj imajo ZDA

has in common with Papua New Guinea and Liberia,

skupnega s Papuo Novo Gvinejo in Liberijo

it's this:

je tole:

We too have no paid maternity leave policy.

Tudi mi nimamo plačanega porodniškega dopusta.

We are one of eight known countries that does not.

Smo ena izmed osmih znanih držav, ki tega nimajo.

In this age of intense confusion,

V tej dobi hude zmede

there is just one goal upon which

je samo en cilj glede katerega

all parents can agree,

se strinjajo vsi starši,

and that is whether they are

in to je ne glede na to ali so

tiger moms or hippie moms, helicopters or drones,

stroge mame ali hipi mame, helikopterji ali brezpilotna letala,

our kids' happiness is paramount.

sreča naših otrok naj je najpomembnejša.

That is what it means

To pomeni

to raise kids in an age

vzgajati otroke v dobi,

when they are economically worthless

ko so ekonomsko ničvredni,

but emotionally priceless.

a čustveno neprecenljivi.

We are all the custodians of their self-esteem.

Mi smo varuhi njihove samopodobe.

The one mantra no parent ever questions is,

Edina mantra, v katero ne podvomi noben starš je:

"All I want is for my children to be happy."

"Vse kar hočem je, da so moji otroci srečni."

And don't get me wrong:

Ne razumite me narobe:

I think happiness is a wonderful goal for a child.

Mislim, da je sreča čudovit cilj za otroka.

But it is a very elusive one.

A je hkrati tudi zelo izmuzljiv.

Happiness and self-confidence,

Sreča in samozavest,

teaching children that is not like teaching them

učiti otroke te reči ni enako kot učiti jih

how to plow a field.

kako preorati polje.

It's not like teaching them how to ride a bike.

Tudi ni enako kot jih naučiti voziti kolo.

There's no curriculum for it.

Ni učnega načrta za to.

Happiness and self-confidence can be the byproducts of other things,

Sreča in samozavest sta lahko posledica drugih reči,

but they cannot really be goals unto themselves.

a ne moreta biti cilja sama po sebi.

A child's happiness

Otrokova sreča

is a very unfair burden to place on a parent.

je zelo nepošteno breme za starše.

And happiness is an even more unfair burden

In sreča je še bolj nepošteno breme,

to place on a kid.

za otroka.

And I have to tell you,

In moram vam povedati,

I think it leads to some very strange excesses.

mislim, da to vodi v zelo čudne skrajnosti.

We are now so anxious

Zdaj smo že tako hudo pripravljeni

to protect our kids from the world's ugliness

zavarovati naše otroke pred grdobijami sveta,

that we now shield them from "Sesame Street."

da jih ščitimo pred "Sezamovo ulico."

I wish I could say I was kidding about this,

Želim si, da bi lahko rekla, da se šalim,

but if you go out and you buy

a če greste ven in kupite

the first few episodes of "Sesame Street" on DVD,

prvih nekaj epizod "Sezamove ulice" na DVD,

as I did out of nostalgia,

tako kot sem jaz naredila iz nostalgije,

you will find a warning at the beginning

boste na začetku našli opozorilo,

saying that the content is not suitable

ki pravi, da vsebina ni primerna

for children.

za otroke.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Can I just repeat that?

Ali lahko to ponovim?

The content of the original "Sesame Street"

Vsebina izvirne "Sezamove ulice"

is not suitable for children.

ni primerna za otroke.

When asked about this by The New York Times,

Ko je časopis New York Times o tem povprašal

a producer for the show gave a variety of explanations.

producentko oddaje, je ta ponudila nekaj razlag.

One was that Cookie Monster smoked a pipe

Ena je bila, da Cookie Monster, kadi pipo

in one skit and then swallowed it.

v enem skeču in jo potem pogoltne.

Bad modeling. I don't know.

Slab vzor. Ne vem.

But the thing that stuck with me

A stvar, ki mi je ostala v spominu

is she said that she didn't know

je to, da je rekla, da ni vedela,

whether Oscar the Grouch could be invented today

če bi si danes lahko izmislili lik Oscar the Grouch,

because he was too depressive.

ker je bil preveč depresiven.

I cannot tell you how much this distresses me.

Ne morete si misliti, kako me to razburi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

You are looking at a woman

Gledate žensko,

who has a periodic table of the Muppets

ki ima periodni sistem Muppetkov

hanging from her cubicle wall.

na steni svojega razdelka.

The offending muppet, right there.

Muppetek, ki žali druge, prav tamle.

That's my son the day he was born.

To je moj sin, na dan ko se je rodil.

I was high as a kite on morphine.

Bila sem čisto zadeta od morfija.

I had had an unexpected C-section.

Imela sem nepričakovan carski rez.

But even in my opiate haze,

A tudi v megli od zdravil

I managed to have one very clear thought

sem uspela imeti eno zelo jasno misel

the first time I held him.

prvič, ko sem ga imela v rokah.

I whispered it into his ear.

Zašepetala sem mu jo v uho.

I said, "I will try so hard not to hurt you."

Rekla sem "Tako zelo se bom trudila, da te ne prizadenem."

It was the Hippocratic Oath,

Bila je Hipokratova prisega,

and I didn't even know I was saying it.

čeprav nisem niti vedela, da jo izgovarjam.

But it occurs to me now

A če pomislim,

that the Hippocratic Oath

je Hipokratova prisega

is a much more realistic aim than happiness.

veliko bolj realističen cilj kot sreča.

In fact, as any parent will tell you,

Pravzaprav, kot vam bo povedal vsak starš,

it's awfully hard.

je zelo težek cilj.

All of us have said or done hurtful things

Vsi od nas smo že naredili ali rekli boleče stvari,

that we wish to God we could take back.

ki si jih na vso moč želimo vzeti nazaj.

I think in another era

Mislim, da v drugačnem času

we did not expect quite so much from ourselves,

nismo pričakovali tako veliko od sebe.

and it is important that we all remember that

Pomembno je, da se tega vsi spomnimo

the next time we are staring with our hearts racing

naslednjič, ko bomo strmeli s podivjanim srcem

at those bookshelves.

v tiste knjižne police.

I'm not really sure how to create new norms

Nisem zares prepričana kako ustvariti nove standarde

for this world,

za ta svet,

but I do think that

ampak res mislim, da si

in our desperate quest to create happy kids,

v naši obupni želji, da bi ustvarili srečne otroke,

we may be assuming the wrong moral burden.

zadevamo napačno moralno breme.

It strikes me as a better goal,

Veliko boljši cilj se mi zdi,

and, dare I say, a more virtuous one,

in upam si reči, bolj plemenit,

to focus on making productive kids

da se osredotočimo na vzgojo bolj produktivnih otrok

and moral kids,

in moralnih otrok,

and to simply hope that happiness will come to them

in da samo upamo, da bo sreča prišla k njim

by virtue of the good that they do

preko dobrih stvari, ki jh bodo počeli

and their accomplishments

in njihovih dosežkov

and the love that they feel from us.

in ljubezni, ki jim jo dajemo mi.

That, anyway, is one response to having no script.

To, kakorkoli, je en odgovor na pomanjkanje scenarija.

Absent having new scripts,

V pomanjkanju novih scenarijev

we just follow the oldest ones in the book --

samo sledimo najstarejšim -

decency, a work ethic, love —

spodobnost, delovna etika, ljubezen -

and let happiness and self-esteem take care of themselves.

in pustimo, da se sreča in samozavest uredita sami.

I think if we all did that,

Mislim, da če bi vsi delali tako,

the kids would still be all right,

bi bilo z otroki še vedno vse v redu,

and so would their parents,

in enako z njihovimi starši,

possibly in both cases even better.

verjetno z obojimi celo veliko bolje.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)