Jennifer Senior: For parents, happiness is a very high bar

Prevoditelj: Dalibora Behmen Recezent: Senzos Osijek

When I was born,

Kada sam se ja rodila,

there was really only one book

postojala je samo jedna knjiga

about how to raise your children,

o odgoju djece.

and it was written by Dr. Spock.

Njezin autor je dr. Spock.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Thank you for indulging me.

Hvala što mi podilazite,

I have always wanted to do that.

oduvijek sam željela ovo učiniti.

No, it was Benjamin Spock,

Bio je to Benjamin Spock,

and his book was called "The Common Sense Book of Baby And Child Care."

a njegova knjiga se zvala "Odgoj i njega djeteta"

It sold almost 50 million copies by the time he died.

Knjiga se prodala u gotovo 50 milijuna primjeraka prije njegove smrti.

Today, I, as the mother of a six-year-old,

Danas, kada kao majka šestogodišnjaka

walk into Barnes and Noble,

uđem u knjižaru Barnes and Noble,

and see this.

ugledam ovo.

And it is amazing

Nevjerojatna je raznolikost knjiga

the variety that one finds on those shelves.

koju možete pronaći na tim policama.

There are guides to raising an eco-friendly kid,

Postoje vodiči za odgoj ekološki osvještenog djeteta,

a gluten-free kid,

djeteta s bezglutenskom prehranom

a disease-proof kid,

djeteta otpornog na bolesti

which, if you ask me, is a little bit creepy.

što je, ako se mene pita, pomalo jezivo.

There are guides to raising a bilingual kid

Postoje vodiči za odgoj dvojezičnog djeteta

even if you only speak one language at home.

čak i ako se kod kuće govori samo jedan jezik.

There are guides to raising a financially savvy kid

Postoje vodiči za odgoj financijski pametnog djeteta

and a science-minded kid

i znanstveno orijentiranog djeteta

and a kid who is a whiz at yoga.

te djeteta koje je ekspert za jogu.

Short of teaching your toddler how to defuse

Osim možda priručnika kako naučiti dijete

a nuclear bomb,

da onesposobi atomsku bombu,

there is pretty much a guide to everything.

postoji vodič više manje za sve ostalo.

All of these books are well-intentioned.

Sve ove knjige su dobronamjerne.

I am sure that many of them are great.

Sigurna sam da su mnoge od njih izvrsne.

But taken together, I am sorry,

No sve u svemu, žao mi je,

I do not see help

ali ne vidim pomoć

when I look at that shelf.

kada pogledam tu policu.

I see anxiety.

Vidim anksioznost.

I see a giant candy-colored monument

Vidim ogroman šareni spomenik

to our collective panic,

našoj kolektivnoj panici

and it makes me want to know,

zbog kojeg želim znati

why is it that raising our children

zbog čega je odgoj naše djece

is associated with so much anguish

povezan s toliko tjeskobe

and so much confusion?

i toliko nedoumica?

Why is it that we are at sixes and sevens

I zašto smo na sto muka

about the one thing human beings

zbog nečeg što su ljudska bića

have been doing successfully for millennia,

uspješno činila tisućljećima,

long before parenting message boards

mnogo prije foruma o roditeljstvu

and peer-reviewed studies came along?

i znanstveno recenziranih istraživanja?

Why is it that so many mothers and fathers

Zašto toliko majki i očeva

experience parenthood as a kind of crisis?

doživljava roditeljstvo kao neku vrstu krize?

Crisis might seem like a strong word,

Kriza možda zvuči kao prejaka riječ,

but there is data suggesting it probably isn't.

no postoje podaci koji govore suprotno.

There was, in fact, a paper of just this very name,

Postoji znanstveni rad upravo ovakvog naslova,

"Parenthood as Crisis," published in 1957,

"Roditeljstvo kao kriza", objavljen 1957. godine

and in the 50-plus years since,

te je u preko 50 narednih godina

there has been plenty of scholarship

mnoštvo znanstvenika

documenting a pretty clear pattern

zabilježilo prilično jasan obrazac

of parental anguish.

roditeljske tjeskobe.

Parents experience more stress than non-parents.

Roditelji doživljavaju više stresa nego oni koji nisu roditelji.

Their marital satisfaction is lower.

Njihovo zadovoljstvo u braku je niže.

There have been a number of studies

Mnoga istraživanja

looking at how parents feel

su ispitivala kako se osjećaju roditelji

when they are spending time with their kids,

kada provode vrijeme s djecom

and the answer often is, not so great.

i rezultati često nisu bili bajni.

Last year, I spoke with a researcher

Prošle godine sam razgovarala sa znanstvenikom

named Matthew Killingsworth

Matthewom Killingsworthom

who is doing a very, very imaginative project

koji radi na vrlo maštovitom projektu

that tracks people's happiness,

koji prati ljudsku sreću.

and here is what he told me he found:

Evo što mi je rekao da je otkrio:

"Interacting with your friends

"Interakcija s prijateljima

is better than interacting with your spouse,

je bolja od interakcije sa supružnikom

which is better than interacting with other relatives,

koja je bolja od interakcije s rodbinom

which is better than interacting with acquaintances,

koja je bolja od interakcije s poznanicima

which is better than interacting with parents,

koja je bolja od interakcije s roditeljima

which is better than interacting with children.

koja je bolja od interakcije s djecom

Who are on par with strangers."

koji su na istoj razini sa strancima."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But here's the thing.

Ali evo u čemu je stvar.

I have been looking at what underlies these data

Tri godine sam proučavala

for three years,

podlogu ovih podataka

and children are not the problem.

i problem nije u djeci.

Something about parenting right now at this moment

Nešto u roditeljstvu danas, upravo u ovom trenutku

is the problem.

je problem.

Specifically, I don't think we know

Konkretno, mislim da ne znamo

what parenting is supposed to be.

što bi roditeljstvo trebalo biti.

Parent, as a verb,

Roditeljstvo kao glagol (parent) u engleskom

only entered common usage in 1970.

je u upotrebi tek od 1970.

Our roles as mothers and fathers have changed.

Naše uloge majki i očeva su se promijenile.

The roles of our children have changed.

Promijenile su se i uloge naše djece.

We are all now furiously improvising

Svi mi mahnito improviziramo

our way through a situation

snalazeći se u situacijama

for which there is no script,

za koje nema scenarija

and if you're an amazing jazz musician,

i ako ste vrhunski jazz glazbenik

then improv is great,

improviziranje je sjajno,

but for the rest of us,

ali nama ostalima

it can kind of feel like a crisis.

može izgledati kao kriza.

So how did we get here?

Kako smo se našli u ovoj situaciji?

How is it that we are all now navigating

Kako se dogodilo da se pokušavamo snaći

a child-rearing universe

u odgoju djece

without any norms to guide us?

bez ikakvih pravila da nas vode?

Well, for starters, there has been

Za početak, dogodila se

a major historical change.

značajna povijesna promjena.

Until fairly recently,

Do nedavno,

kids worked, on our farms primarily,

djeca su radila, prvenstveno na našim farmama,

but also in factories, mills, mines.

ali i u tvornicama, mlinovima, rudnicima.

Kids were considered economic assets.

Djeca su bila imovina.

Sometime during the Progressive Era,

Početkom 20. stoljeća

we put an end to this arrangement.

stali smo na kraj ovakvom uređenju.

We recognized kids had rights,

Priznali smo prava djece,

we banned child labor,

zabranili da djeca rade,

we focused on education instead,

usredotočili se na obrazovanje

and school became a child's new work.

te je škola postala novo radno mjesto djeteta.

And thank God it did.

I hvala Bogu na tome.

But that only made a parent's role

No time je uloga roditelja

more confusing in a way.

postala još više zbunjujuća.

The old arrangement might not have been

Staro uređenje možda nije bilo

particularly ethical, but it was reciprocal.

izrazito etično, ali je bilo recipročno.

We provided food, clothing, shelter,

Djeci smo pružili hranu, odjeću, utočište

and moral instruction to our kids,

i upute za moralno ponašanje,

and they in return provided income.

a ona su zauzvrat stvarala prihod.

Once kids stopped working,

Kada su djeca prestala raditi,

the economics of parenting changed.

ekonomska računica roditeljstva se promijenila.

Kids became, in the words of one

Djeca su postala, riječima jednog

brilliant if totally ruthless sociologist,

briljantnog makar potpuno surovog sociologa,

"economically worthless but emotionally priceless."

"ekonomski bezvrijedna, ali emocionalno neprocjenjiva."

Rather than them working for us,

Pa radije nego da oni rade za nas,

we began to work for them,

mi smo počeli raditi za njih

because within only a matter of decades

te je kroz samo nekoliko desetljeća

it became clear:

postalo jasno:

if we wanted our kids to succeed,

ako želimo da naša djeca budu uspješna,

school was not enough.

škola nije dovoljna.

Today, extracurricular activities are a kid's new work,

Danas su izvannastavne aktivnosti novi posao djeteta,

but that's work for us too,

ali to je i naš posao

because we are the ones driving them to soccer practice.

jer ih mi razvozimo na sportske aktivnosti.

Massive piles of homework are a kid's new work,

Ogromne hrpe domaćih zadaća su novi posao djeteta,

but that's also work for us,

ali to je također i posao za nas

because we have to check it.

jer ih mi moramo provjeriti.

About three years ago, a Texas woman

Prije otprilike tri godine, jedna teksašanka

told something to me

mi je rekla nešto

that totally broke my heart.

što mi je slomilo srce.

She said, almost casually,

Rekla je, gotovo usputno,

"Homework is the new dinner."

"Domaća zadaća je večera današnjeg doba"

The middle class now pours all of its time

Pripadnici srednjeg sloja ulažu svo svoje vrijeme,

and energy and resources into its kids,

energiju i resurse u svoju djecu,

even though the middle class

iako pripadnici srednjeg sloja

has less and less of those things to give.

imaju sve manje tih stvari za dati."

Mothers now spend more time with their children

Majke danas provode više vremena sa svojom djecom,

than they did in 1965,

nego što su ga provodile 1965.

when most women were not even in the workforce.

kada većina žena nije niti bila zaposlena.

It would probably be easier for parents

Za roditelje bi vjerojatno bilo jednostavnije

to do their new roles

da izvršavaju svoje nove uloge

if they knew what they were preparing their kids for.

kada bi znali za što pripremaju djecu.

This is yet another thing that makes modern parenting

Ovo je još jedna od stvari koja čini moderno roditeljstvo

so very confounding.

tako zbunjujućim.

We have no clue what portion our wisdom, if any,

Nemamo pojma koji je dio naše mudrosti, ako ikoji,

is of use to our kids.

koristan našoj djeci.

The world is changing so rapidly,

Svijet se mijenja toliko brzo

it's impossible to say.

da je to nemoguće znati.

This was true even when I was young.

Ovo je bila istina čak i kad sam ja bila mlada.

When I was a kid, high school specifically,

Kada sam ja bila dijete, točnije srednjoškolka,

I was told that I would be at sea

rečeno mi je da ću biti izgubljena

in the new global economy

u novoj globalnoj ekonomiji

if I did not know Japanese.

ako ne budem znala Japanski.

And with all due respect to the Japanese,

I uz svo dužno poštovanje prema Japancima,

it didn't turn out that way.

nije baš tako ispalo.

Now there is a certain kind of middle-class parent

Danas postoje tipovi roditelja srednjeg sloja

that is obsessed with teaching their kids Mandarin,

koji su opsjednuti idejom da nauče djecu mandarinski kineski

and maybe they're onto something,

i možda su na pravom tragu,

but we cannot know for sure.

ali ne možemo sa sigurnošću znati.

So, absent being able to anticipate the future,

Tako, iako ne možemo predvidjeti budućnost,

what we all do, as good parents,

ono što svi činimo, kao dobri roditelji,

is try and prepare our kids

je da pokušavamo pripremiti našu djecu

for every possible kind of future,

za sve moguće tipove budućnosti

hoping that just one of our efforts will pay off.

u nadi da će se bar dio našeg truda isplatiti.

We teach our kids chess,

Našu djecu učimo igrati šah

thinking maybe they will need analytical skills.

misleći da će im možda trebati analitičke vještine.

We sign them up for team sports,

Upisujemo ih na timske sportove

thinking maybe they will need collaborative skills,

misleći da će im možda trebati vještine suradnje

you know, for when they go to Harvard Business School.

kad budu išli na harvardsku poslovnu školu.

We try and teach them to be financially savvy

Pokušavamo ih naučiti da budu financijski mudri,

and science-minded and eco-friendly

znanstveno nastrojeni, ekološki osviješteni

and gluten-free,

i ne jedu gluten

though now is probably a good time to tell you

iako je možda sad pravo vrijeme da vam kažem da

that I was not eco-friendly and gluten-free as a child.

ja nisam bila ekološki osviještena i da sam jela gluten kao dijete.

I ate jars of pureed macaroni and beef.

Jela sam zdjele pirea od makarona i govedine.

And you know what? I'm doing okay.

I znate što? Dobro sam.

I pay my taxes.

Plaćam poreze.

I hold down a steady job.

Imam stalni posao.

I was even invited to speak at TED.

Čak sam pozvana da održim govor na TED-u.

Ali današnja pretpostavka je

But the presumption now is that

what was good enough for me, or for my folks for that matter,

da ono što je bilo dovoljno dobro za mene ili za moje starce

isn't good enough anymore.

nije više dovoljno dobro.

So we all make a mad dash to that bookshelf,

Pa svi sumanuto jurimo do te police

because we feel like if we aren't trying everything,

jer nam se čini ako ne pokušavamo sve

it's as if we're doing nothing

da je to isto kao da ne činimo ništa

and we're defaulting on our obligations to our kids.

i ne ispunjavamo obveze prema svojoj djeci.

So it's hard enough to navigate our new roles

Dakle dovoljno je teško snalaziti se u našim

as mothers and fathers.

novim ulogama majki i očeva.

Now add to this problem something else:

Sad ovom problemu dodajte još nešto:

we are also navigating new roles

također se pokušavamo snaći u novim ulogama

as husbands and wives

muževa i žena

because most women today are in the workforce.

jer je većina žena danas zaposlena.

This is another reason, I think,

Mislim da je ovo još jedan razlog

that parenthood feels like a crisis.

zbog kojeg roditeljstvo izgleda kao kriza.

We have no rules, no scripts, no norms

Nemamo pravila, scenarija ili obrazaca

for what to do when a child comes along

što činiti kada stigne dijete

now that both mom and dad are breadwinners.

sada kada su i mama i tata hranitelji obitelji.

The writer Michael Lewis once put this

Pisac Michael Lewis je ovo

very, very well.

jako dobro sročio.

He said that the surest way

Rekao je da je najsigurniji način

for a couple to start fighting

da se par počne svađati

is for them to go out to dinner with another couple

da odu na večeru s drugim parom

whose division of labor

čija je podjela poslova

is ever so slightly different from theirs,

mrvicu drugačija nego njihova

because the conversation in the car on the way home

jer će razgovor u autu na putu kući

goes something like this:

teći otprilike ovako:

"So, did you catch that Dave is the one

"Onda, jesi čuo da je Dave taj koji

who walks them to school every morning?"

prati djecu u školu svako jutro?"

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Without scripts telling us who does what

Bez scenarija koji nam govori tko što radi

in this brave new world, couples fight,

u ovom vrlom novom svijetu, parovi se svađaju

and both mothers and fathers each have

te i majke i očevi imaju svaki svoje

their legitimate gripes.

legitimne pritužbe.

Mothers are much more likely

Majke će vjerojatno

raditi više poslova odjednom kad su kod kuće

to be multi-tasking when they are at home,

and fathers, when they are at home,

dok će očevi, kad su kod kuće,

are much more likely to be mono-tasking.

vjerojatno raditi samo jedan posao.

Find a guy at home, and odds are

Nađite bilo kojeg muškarca doma i dobre su šanse

he is doing just one thing at a time.

da radi samo jednu stvar u isto vrijeme.

In fact, UCLA recently did a study

Zapravo, na UCLA je nedavno provedena studija

looking at the most common configuration

koja je promatrala najčešću konfiguraciju

of family members in middle-class homes.

članova obitelji u domovima srednjeg sloja.

Guess what it was?

Pogodite kako je izgledala?

Dad in a room by himself.

Tata sam u sobi.

According to the American Time Use Survey,

Prema anketi

mothers still do twice as much childcare as fathers,

majke još uvijek dvostruko više brinu za djecu, nego očevi

which is better than it was in Erma Bombeck's day,

što je bolje nego u vrijeme Erme Bombeck,

ali mislim da je nešto što je ona napisala

but I still think that something she wrote

is highly relevant:

vrlo aktualno:

"I have not been alone in the bathroom since October."

"Nisam bila sama u kupaonici od listopada."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But here is the thing: Men are doing plenty.

No evo o čemu se radi: muškarci čine puno.

Provode više vremena s djecom

They spend more time with their kids

than their fathers ever spent with them.

nego što su njihovi očevi provodili s njima.

They work more paid hours, on average,

U prosjeku rade više plaćenih sati

than their wives,

nego njihove supruge

and they genuinely want to be good,

i istinski žele biti dobri,

involved dads.

uključeni očevi.

Today, it is fathers, not mothers,

Danas očevi, a ne majke

who report the most work-life conflict.

govore o sukobu privatnog života i posla.

Either way, by the way,

U svakom slučaju, usput rečeno,

if you think it's hard for traditional families

ako mislite da je tradicionalnim obiteljima teško

to sort out these new roles,

podijeliti ove nove uloge,

just imagine what it's like now

zamislite samo kako je

for non-traditional families:

netradicionalnim obiteljima:

families with two dads, families with two moms,

obiteljima s dva oca, obiteljima s dvije mame,

single-parent households.

samohranim roditeljima.

They are truly improvising as they go.

Oni usitinu improviziraju u hodu.

Now, in a more progressive country,

U naprednijoj zemlji,

and forgive me here for capitulating to cliché

i ispričavam se na klišeu

and invoking, yes, Sweden,

pa spominjem, da, Švedsku,

parents could rely on the state

roditelji su se mogli osloniti na državu

for support.

za podršku.

There are countries that acknowledge

Postoje zemlje koje prepoznaju

the anxieties and the changing roles

tjeskobu i izmijenjene uloge

of mothers and fathers.

majki i očeva.

Unfortunately, the United States is not one of them,

Nažalost, SAD nisu jedna od tih zemalja

so in case you were wondering what the U.S.

pa ako ste se pitali što SAD

has in common with Papua New Guinea and Liberia,

imaju zajedničkog s Papua Novom Gvinejom i Liberijom

it's this:

to je ovo:

We too have no paid maternity leave policy.

Ni SAD nemaju zakon o plaćenom porodiljnom dopustu.

We are one of eight known countries that does not.

Mi smo jedna od osam zemalja koja ga nema.

In this age of intense confusion,

U ovo doba intenzivne zbunjenosti

there is just one goal upon which

postoji samo jedan cilj oko kojeg

all parents can agree,

se mogu složiti svi roditelji,

and that is whether they are

a taj je, bilo da se radi o

tiger moms or hippie moms, helicopters or drones,

preambicioznim ili hipi mamama, helikopterima ili lebdjelicama,

our kids' happiness is paramount.

da je sreća naše djece na prvom mjestu.

That is what it means

Eto što znači

to raise kids in an age

odgajati djecu u doba

when they are economically worthless

kada su ekonomski bezvrijedna,

but emotionally priceless.

ali emocionalno neprocjenjiva,

We are all the custodians of their self-esteem.

Mi smo čuvari njihova samopoštovanja.

The one mantra no parent ever questions is,

Mantra koju ni jedan roditelj ne dovodi u pitanje je:

"All I want is for my children to be happy."

"Sve što želim za svoju djecu jest da budu sretna."

And don't get me wrong:

I nemojte me krivo shvatiti,

I think happiness is a wonderful goal for a child.

mislim da je sreća divan cilj za dijete.

But it is a very elusive one.

Ali je ujedno i teško uhvatljiv.

Happiness and self-confidence,

Sreća i samopouzdanje,

teaching children that is not like teaching them

učenje djece koje nije poput učenja

how to plow a field.

kako orati polje.

It's not like teaching them how to ride a bike.

Nije poput učenja vožnje bicikla.

There's no curriculum for it.

Ne postoji kurikulum za to.

Happiness and self-confidence can be the byproducts of other things,

Sreća i samopouzdanje mogu biti nusproizvod drugih stvari,

but they cannot really be goals unto themselves.

ali ne mogu biti cilj same po sebi.

A child's happiness

Djetetova sreća

is a very unfair burden to place on a parent.

je nepošten teret svaljen na roditelja.

And happiness is an even more unfair burden

A još je nepoštenije taj teret

to place on a kid.

svaliti na dijete.

And I have to tell you,

I moram vam reći,

I think it leads to some very strange excesses.

mislim da vodi vrlo čudnom pretjerivanju.

We are now so anxious

Toliko smo pod pritiskom

to protect our kids from the world's ugliness

da moramo zaštititi našu djecu od ružnih stvari

that we now shield them from "Sesame Street."

da ih štitimo od "Ulice Sezam."

Voljela bih da mogu reći da se šalim u vezi ovoga,

I wish I could say I was kidding about this,

but if you go out and you buy

no ako kupite

the first few episodes of "Sesame Street" on DVD,

prvih par epizoda "Ulice Sezam" na DVD-u,

as I did out of nostalgia,

kao što sam ja iz nostalgije učinila,

you will find a warning at the beginning

vidjet ćete upozorenje na početku

saying that the content is not suitable

koje kaže da sadržaj nije prikladan

for children.

za djecu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Mogu li samo ovo ponoviti?

Can I just repeat that?

The content of the original "Sesame Street"

Sadržaj originalne "Ulice Sezam"

is not suitable for children.

nije prikladan za djecu.

When asked about this by The New York Times,

Kada ih je New York Times upitao o ovome,

a producer for the show gave a variety of explanations.

producentica emisije je dala cijeli niz objašnjenja.

One was that Cookie Monster smoked a pipe

Jedno je bilo da Cookie Monster puši lulu

in one skit and then swallowed it.

u jednom skeču i zatim je proguta.

Bad modeling. I don't know.

Loš primjer, ili što već.

But the thing that stuck with me

Ali nešto što mi se urezalo u pamćenje

is she said that she didn't know

je da je rekla da ne zna

whether Oscar the Grouch could be invented today

bi li gunđalo Oscar danas bio izmišljen

because he was too depressive.

jer je predepresivan.

I cannot tell you how much this distresses me.

Ne mogu vam opisati koliko me to žalosti.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

You are looking at a woman

Gledate u ženu

who has a periodic table of the Muppets

koja ima periodni sustav Muppeta

hanging from her cubicle wall.

na zidu na radnom mjestu.

The offending muppet, right there.

Sporni muppet, evo ga ovdje.

That's my son the day he was born.

Ovo je moj sin na dan svog rođenja.

I was high as a kite on morphine.

Bila sam na morfiju.

I had had an unexpected C-section.

Imala sam nepredviđeni carski rez.

But even in my opiate haze,

Ali čak i u toj izmaglici uzrokovanoj lijekovima,

I managed to have one very clear thought

imala sam jednu jasnu misao

the first time I held him.

prvi put kad sam ga primila.

I whispered it into his ear.

Šapnula sam mu je u uho.

I said, "I will try so hard not to hurt you."

Rekla sam: "Jako ću se truditi da te ne povrijedim."

It was the Hippocratic Oath,

To je bila Hipokratova zakletva,

and I didn't even know I was saying it.

a nisam niti znala da je izgovaram.

But it occurs to me now

Ali sada mi postaje jasno

that the Hippocratic Oath

da je Hipokratova zakletva

is a much more realistic aim than happiness.

puno realističniji cilj nego sreća.

In fact, as any parent will tell you,

Zapravo, kao što će vam svaki roditelj reći,

it's awfully hard.

to je iznimno teško.

All of us have said or done hurtful things

Svatko od nas je činio ružne stvari

that we wish to God we could take back.

za koje bismo voljeli da ih možemo poništiti.

I think in another era

Mislim da u neka druga doba

we did not expect quite so much from ourselves,

nismo očekivali tako puno od samih sebe

and it is important that we all remember that

i važno je da to svi zapamtimo

the next time we are staring with our hearts racing

dok idući put uzlupana srca budemo buljili

at those bookshelves.

u te police s knjigama.

I'm not really sure how to create new norms

Nisam sigurna kako se stvaraju nova pravila

for this world,

za ovaj svijet,

but I do think that

no mislim da

in our desperate quest to create happy kids,

u našoj očajničkoj misiji da stvorimo sretnu djecu

we may be assuming the wrong moral burden.

možda na sebe preuzimamo pogrešan moralni teret.

It strikes me as a better goal,

Čini mi se da je bolji cilj,

and, dare I say, a more virtuous one,

a usudila bih se reći i plemenitiji,

to focus on making productive kids

usredotočiti se na stvaranje produktivne djece

and moral kids,

i moralne djece

and to simply hope that happiness will come to them

te se jednostavno nadati da će im sreća nadoći

by virtue of the good that they do

zbog dobrih stvari koje čine

and their accomplishments

i zbog njihovih postignuća

and the love that they feel from us.

i ljubavi koju od nas osjećaju.

That, anyway, is one response to having no script.

To je barem jedan od odgovora na nemanje scenarija.

Absent having new scripts,

Bez novih scenarija,

we just follow the oldest ones in the book --

jednostavno pratimo najstariji koji postoji --

decency, a work ethic, love —

poštenje, radna etika, ljubav —

and let happiness and self-esteem take care of themselves.

i puštamo da se sreća i samopoštovanje pobrinu sami za sebe.

I think if we all did that,

MIslim da kada bismo svi to činili,

the kids would still be all right,

djeca bi i dalje bila dobro

and so would their parents,

kao i njihovi roditelji,

possibly in both cases even better.

možda čak i bolje.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)