3 lessons on success from an Arab businesswoman | Leila Hoteit

296,311 views ใƒป 2016-08-17

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ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Michal Mano ืžื‘ืงืจ: Zeeva Livshitz
00:12
"Mom, who are these people?"
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"ืืžื, ืžื™ ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ื”ืืœื”?ืด
00:15
It was an innocent question from my young daughter Alia
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ื–ืืช ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืฉืืœื” ืชืžื™ืžื” ืžื‘ืชื™ ื”ืฆืขื™ืจื” ืขืœื™ื”,
00:18
around the time when she was three.
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ื›ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื‘ืขืจืš ื‘ืช ืฉืœื•ืฉ.
00:20
We were walking along with my husband
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ื”ืกืชื•ื‘ื‘ื ื• ืขื ื‘ืขืœื™
00:22
in one of Abu Dhabi's big fancy malls.
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ื‘ืื—ื“ ื”ืงื ื™ื•ื ื™ื ื”ื™ื•ืงืจืชื™ื™ื ื•ื”ื’ื“ื•ืœื™ื ืฉืœ ืื‘ื• ื“ืื‘ื™.
00:25
Alia was peering at a huge poster standing tall in the middle of the mall.
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ืขืœื™ื” ื”ืกืชื›ืœื” ืขืœ ืคื•ืกื˜ืจ ืขื ืง ื”ื ื™ืฆื‘ ื’ื‘ื•ื” ื‘ืืžืฆืข ื”ืงื ื™ื•ืŸ
00:29
It featured the three rulers of the United Arab Emirates.
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ืขืœื™ื• ื”ื•ืคื™ืขื• ืฉืœื•ืฉืช ื”ืžื ื”ื™ื’ื™ื ืฉืœ ืื™ื—ื•ื“ ื”ืืžื™ืจื•ื™ื•ืช ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช.
00:33
As she tucked in my side,
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ื›ืฉื”ื™ื ื—ื™ื‘ืงื” ืื•ืชื™,
00:35
I bent down and explained that these were the rulers of the UAE
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ื”ืชื›ื•ืคืคืชื™ ื•ื”ืกื‘ืจืชื™ ืฉืืœื” ื”ืžื ื”ื™ื’ื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ืื™ื—ื•ื“
00:38
who had worked hard to develop their nation
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ืฉืขื‘ื“ื• ืงืฉื” ืœืคืชื— ืืช ืžื“ื™ื ืชื
00:40
and preserve its unity.
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ื•ืœืฉืžืจ ืืช ืื—ื“ื•ืชื”.
00:43
She asked, "Mom, why is it that here where we live,
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ื”ื™ื ืฉืืœื”, ืดืืžื, ืœืžื” ื”ื™ื›ืŸ ืฉืื ื• ื’ืจื™ื,
00:46
and back in Lebanon, where grandma and grandpa live,
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ื•ื‘ืœื‘ื ื•ืŸ, ื”ื™ื›ืŸ ืฉืกื‘ื ื•ืกื‘ืชื ื’ืจื™ื,
00:49
we never see the pictures of powerful women on the walls?
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืืฃ ืคืขื ืœื ืจื•ืื™ื ืชืžื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื ืฉื™ื ื—ื–ืงื•ืช ืขืœ ื”ืงื™ืจื•ืช?
00:52
Is it because women are not important?"
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ื–ื” ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉื ืฉื™ื ืœื ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื•ืช?ืด
00:56
This is probably the hardest question I've had to answer in my years as a parent
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ื–ื•ื”ื™, ื›ื ืจืื”, ื”ืฉืืœื” ื”ื›ื™ ืงืฉื” ืฉื ื“ืจืฉืชื™ ืœืขื ื•ืช ืขืœื™ื” ื‘ืฉื ื•ืชื™ ื›ื”ื•ืจื”,
00:59
and in my 16-plus years of professional life, for that matter.
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ื•ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืž-16 ืฉื ื” ืฉืœ ื—ื™ื™ ื”ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ื™ื.
01:04
I had grown up in my hometown in Lebanon,
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ื’ื“ืœืชื™ ื‘ืขื™ืจ ื”ื•ืœื“ืชื™ ื‘ืœื‘ื ื•ืŸ,
01:07
the younger of two daughters to a very hard-working pilot
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ื”ืฆืขื™ืจื” ื‘ื™ืŸ ืฉืชื™ ื‘ื ื•ืช ืœื˜ื™ื™ืก ื—ืจื•ืฅ
01:10
and director of operations for the Lebanese Airlines
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ื•ืžื ื”ืœ ื”ืชืคืขื•ืœ ืฉืœ ื—ื‘ืจืช ื”ื˜ื™ืกื” ื”ืœื‘ื ื•ื ื™ืช,
01:14
and a super-supportive stay-at-home mom and grandma.
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ื•ืœืื ืขืงืจืช ื‘ื™ืช, ืชื•ืžื›ืช ืžืื•ื“ ื•ืกื‘ืชื.
01:17
My father had encouraged my sister and I to pursue our education
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ืื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ืขื•ื“ื“ ืื•ืชื™ ื•ืืช ืื—ื•ืชื™ ืœืจื›ื•ืฉ ื”ืฉื›ืœื”
01:22
even though our culture emphasized at the time
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ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉื‘ืชืจื‘ื•ืช ืฉืœื ื• ื‘ืื•ืชื• ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื”ื“ื’ื™ืฉื•
01:25
that it was sons and not daughters who should be professionally motivated.
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ืฉื‘ื ื™ื ื•ืœื ื‘ื ื•ืช ื”ื ืืœื” ืฉืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืขืœื™ ืžื•ื˜ื™ื‘ืฆื™ื” ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ืช.
01:30
I was one of very few girls of my generation
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื‘ื™ืŸ ื”ื‘ื ื•ืช ื”ื‘ื•ื“ื“ื•ืช ื‘ื“ื•ืจื™
01:33
who left home at 18 to study abroad.
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ืฉืขื–ื‘ื• ืืช ื”ื‘ื™ืช ื‘ื’ื™ืœ 18 ืœืœืžื•ื“ ื‘ื—ื•ืดืœ.
01:36
My father didn't have a son,
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ืœืื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ืœื ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืŸ,
01:38
and so I, in a sense, became his.
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ืื– ืื ื™, ืื™ืš ืฉื”ื•ื, ื”ืคื›ืชื™ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื ื•.
01:42
Fast-forward a couple of decades, and I hope I didn't do too badly
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืื—ืจื™ ื›ืžื” ืขืฉืจื•ืช ืฉื ื™ื, ืื ื™ ืžืงื•ื•ื” ืฉื”ืฆืœื—ืชื™
01:46
in making my father proud of his would-be son.
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ืœื’ืจื•ื ืœืื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ืœื”ืชื’ืื•ืช ื‘ื‘ืŸ ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ื”ื™ื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืœื•.
01:50
As I got my Bachelor's and PhD in electrical engineering,
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ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืฉืงื™ื‘ืœืชื™ ืชื•ืืจ ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ื•ื“ื•ืงื˜ื•ืจื˜ ื‘ื”ื ื“ืกืช ื—ืฉืžืœ,
01:53
did R and D in the UK, then consulting in the Middle East,
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ืขืกืงืชื™ ื‘ืžื—ืงืจ ื•ืคื™ืชื•ื— ื‘ื‘ืจื™ื˜ื ื™ื”, ื•ื‘ื™ืขื•ืฅ ื‘ืžื–ืจื— ื”ืชื™ื›ื•ืŸ,
01:57
I have always been in male-dominated environments.
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ืชืžื™ื“ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื‘ืกื‘ื™ื‘ื•ืช ืฉื ืฉืœื˜ื• ืขืดื™ ื’ื‘ืจื™ื.
02:00
Truth be told, I have never found a role model I could truly identify with.
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ืœืžืขืŸ ื”ืืžืช, ืืฃ ืคืขื ืœื ืžืฆืืชื™ ืžื•ื“ืœ ืœื—ื™ืงื•ื™ ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ื‘ืืžืช ืœื”ื–ื“ื”ื•ืช ืื™ืชื•.
02:06
My mother's generation wasn't into professional leadership.
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ื”ื“ื•ืจ ืฉืœ ืืžื™ ืœื ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืขื ื™ื™ืŸ ืฉืœ ืžื ื”ื™ื’ื•ืช ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ืช.
02:09
There were some encouraging men along the way,
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ื”ื™ื• ื›ืžื” ื’ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืชืžื›ื• ื‘ื™ ื‘ื“ืจืš,
02:12
but none knew the demands and pressures I was facing,
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ืื‘ืœ ืืฃ ืื—ื“ ืžื”ื ืœื ื”ื›ื™ืจ ืืช ื”ื“ืจื™ืฉื•ืช ื•ื”ืœื—ืฆื™ื ืื™ืชื ื”ืชืžื•ื“ื“ืชื™.
02:16
pressures that got particularly acute when I had my own two beautiful children.
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ืœื—ืฆื™ื ืฉื’ื‘ืจื•ื• ื›ืฉื™ืœื“ืชื™ ืืช ืฉื ื™ ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ื”ืžืงืกื™ืžื™ื ืฉืœื™.
02:21
And although Western women love to give us poor, oppressed Arab women advice,
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ื•ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉื ืฉื™ื ืžืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ืื•ื”ื‘ื•ืช ืœืชืช ืœื ื•, ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื”ืžืกื›ื ื•ืช ื•ื”ืžื“ื•ื›ืื•ืช, ืขืฆื•ืช,
02:27
they live different lives with different constraints.
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ื”ืŸ ื—ื™ื•ืช ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉื•ื ื™ื ืขื ืื™ืœื•ืฆื™ื ืฉื•ื ื™ื.
02:31
So Arab women of my generation have had to become our own role models.
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ืื– ื ืฉื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื ื•ืช ื“ื•ืจื™ ื”ื™ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื•ืช ืœื”ืคื•ืš ืœืžื•ื“ืœ ืœื—ื™ืงื•ื™ ืฉืœ ืขืฆืžืŸ.
02:35
We have had to juggle more than Arab men,
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ื”ื™ื” ืขืœื™ื ื• ืœืœื”ื˜ื˜ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืืฉืจ ื’ื‘ืจื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื™ื,
02:37
and we have had to face more cultural rigidity than Western women.
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ื•ื ืืœืฆื ื• ืœื”ืชืžื•ื“ื“ ืขื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืงืฉื™ื—ื•ืช ืชืจื‘ื•ืชื™ืช ืžื ืฉื™ื ื‘ืžืขืจื‘.
02:41
As a result, I would like to think that we poor, oppressed women
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ื›ืชื•ืฆืื”, ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืฉืœื ื•, ื”ื ืฉื™ื ื”ืžื“ื•ื›ืื•ืช ื•ื”ืžืกื›ื ื•ืช,
02:45
actually have some useful, certainly hard-earned lessons to share,
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ื™ืฉ ื‘ืขืฆื ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ื ืฉื™ืžื•ืฉื™ื™ื ืœืฉืชืฃ, ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ื ืฉืœืžื“ื ื• ื‘ืฆื•ืจื” ื”ืงืฉื”.
02:50
lessons that might turn out useful
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ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ื ืฉืขืฉื•ื™ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืฉื™ืžื•ืฉื™ื™ื
02:52
for anyone wishing to thrive in the modern world.
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ืœื›ืœ ืื—ื“ ืฉื—ื•ืœื ืœื”ืชืงื“ื ื‘ืขื•ืœื ื”ืžื•ื“ืจื ื™.
02:55
Here are three of mine.
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ื”ื ื” ืฉืœื•ืฉื” ืžืฉืœื™.
02:56
["Convert their sh*t into your fuel."]
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[ืดื”ืคื•ืš ืืช ื”"ืฉื™ื˜" ืฉืœื”ื ืœื“ืœืง ืฉืœืš.ืด]
02:58
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
02:59
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
03:06
There is this word that everybody is touting as the key to success:
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ื™ืฉ ืžื™ืœื” ืื—ืช ืฉื›ืœ ืื—ื“ ืžืงื“ื ื›ืžืคืชื— ืœื”ืฆืœื—ื”:
03:10
resilience.
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ื—ื•ืกืŸ ื ืคืฉื™.
03:12
Well, what exactly is resilience, and how do you develop it?
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ืื– ืžื” ื–ื” ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ื—ื•ืกืŸ ื ืคืฉื™, ื•ืื™ืš ืžืคืชื—ื™ื ืื•ืชื•?
03:16
I believe resilience is simply the ability to transform shit into fuel.
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ืื ื™ ืžืืžื™ื ื” ืฉื—ื•ืกืŸ ื ืคืฉื™ ื–ื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ ื”ื™ื›ื•ืœืช ืœื”ืคื•ืš "ืฉื™ื˜" ืœื“ืœืง.
03:23
In my previous job, well before my current firm,
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ื‘ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ื”ืงื•ื“ืžืช ืฉืœื™, ืœืคื ื™ ื”ื—ื‘ืจื” ื”ื ื•ื›ื—ื™ืช ืฉืœื™,
03:26
I was working with a man we will call John.
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ืขื‘ื“ืชื™ ืขื ื’ื‘ืจ ืฉื ืงืจื ืœื• ื’ืณื•ืŸ.
03:29
I had teamed up with John and was working hard,
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ืฉื•ืœื‘ืชื™ ืœืฆื•ื•ืช ืขื ื’ืณื•ืŸ, ื•ืขื‘ื“ืชื™ ืงืฉื”,
03:31
hoping he would notice how great I was
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ืงื™ื•ื•ื™ืชื™ ืฉื™ืฉื™ื ืœื‘ ืขื“ ื›ืžื” ืื ื™ ืžื“ื”ื™ืžื”,
03:33
and that he would come to support my case to make partner at the firm.
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ื•ื™ืชืžื•ืš ื‘ื™ ื‘ืžืขื‘ืจ ืœืฉื•ืชืคื” ื‘ื—ื‘ืจื”.
03:38
I was, in addition to delivering on my consulting projects,
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ื‘ื ื•ืกืฃ ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืฉืœื™ ื‘ืคืจื•ื™ืงื˜ื™ื ืฉืœ ื™ืขื•ืฅ,
03:41
writing passionately on the topic of women economic empowerment.
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ื›ืชื‘ืชื™ ื‘ืœื”ื˜ ืขืœ ื”ื”ืชื—ื–ืงื•ืช ื”ื›ืœื›ืœื™ืช ืฉืœ ื ืฉื™ื.
03:45
One day, I got to present my research to a roomful of MBA students.
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ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“, ื–ื›ื™ืชื™ ืœื”ืฆื™ื’ ืืช ื”ืžื—ืงืจ ืฉืœื™ ื‘ื—ื“ืจ ืžืœื ืกื˜ื•ื“ื ื˜ื™ื ืœืžื ืข"ืก.
03:50
John was part of the audience
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ื’ืณื•ืŸ ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืงื”ืœ
03:52
listening for the first time to the details of my study.
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ื•ื”ืงืฉื™ื‘ ื‘ืคืขื ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืœืคืจื˜ื™ ื”ืžื—ืงืจ ืฉืœื™.
03:56
As I proceeded with my presentation,
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ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืฉื”ืชืงื“ืžืชื™ ืขื ื”ืžืฆื’ืช ืฉืœื™,
03:58
I could see John in the corner of my eye.
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ื’ืณื•ืŸ ื‘ืงืฆื” ื”ืขื™ืŸ.
04:01
He had turned a dark shade of pink
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ืขื•ืจื• ื”ืคืš ืœื•ืจื•ื“ ื›ื”ื”
04:03
and had slid under his chair in apparent shame.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ื”ื—ืœื™ืง ืžืชื—ืช ืœื›ื™ืกื ืฉืœื• ื‘ืžื” ืฉื ืจืื” ื›ืžื• ื‘ื•ืฉื”.
04:07
I finished my presentation to an applauding audience
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ืกื™ื™ืžืชื™ ืืช ื”ืžืฆื’ืช ืฉืœื™ ืœืงื•ืœ ืชืฉื•ืื•ืช ืจื‘ื•ืช ืžื”ืงื”ืœ
04:10
and we rushed out and jumped into the car.
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ื•ืžื™ื”ืจื ื• ื”ื—ื•ืฆื” ื•ืงืคืฆื ื• ืœืื•ื˜ื•.
04:13
There he exploded.
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ืฉื ื”ื•ื ื”ืชืคื•ืฆืฅ,
04:16
"What you did up there was unacceptable!
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ืดืžื” ืฉืขืฉื™ืช ืฉื ื”ื™ื” ืœื ืžืงื•ื‘ืœ!
04:18
You are a consultant, not an activist!"
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ืืช ื™ื•ืขืฆืช, ืœื ืืงื˜ื™ื‘ื™ืกื˜ื™ืช!ืด
04:21
I said, "John, I don't understand.
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ืืžืจืชื™ ืœื• ืดื’ืณื•ืŸ, ืื ื™ ืœื ืžื‘ื™ื ื”.
04:24
I presented a couple of gender parity indices,
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ื”ืฆื’ืชื™ ื›ืžื” ืžื“ื“ื™ื ืฉืœ ืฉื•ื•ื™ื•ืŸ ืžื’ื“ืจื™,
04:27
and some conclusions about the Arab world.
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ื•ื›ืžื” ืžืกืงื ื•ืช ืขืœ ื”ืขื•ืœื ื”ืขืจื‘ื™.
04:29
Yes, we do happen to be today at the bottom of the index,
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ื›ืŸ, ื”ื™ื•ื ืื ื—ื ื• ืื›ืŸ ื‘ืชื—ืชื™ืช ื”ืžื“ื“,
04:32
but what is it that I said or presented that was not factual?"
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ืื‘ืœ ืžื” ืืžืจืชื™ ืื• ื”ืฆื’ืชื™ ืฉืœื ื”ื™ื” ืขื•ื‘ื“ืชื™?ืด
04:37
To which he replied, "The whole premise of your study is wrong.
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ื•ืœื–ื” ืขื ื” ื’ืณื•ืŸ, ืดื›ืœ ื”ื ื—ื•ืช ื”ืžื—ืงืจ ืฉืœืš ืœื ื ื›ื•ื ื•ืช.
04:41
What you are doing is dangerous and will break the social fabric of our society."
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ืžื” ืฉืืช ืขื•ืฉื” ืžืกื•ื›ืŸ ืœื—ื‘ืจื” ื•ื™ืงืจืข ืืช ื”ืžืจืงื ื”ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ ืฉืœ ื”ื—ื‘ืจื” ืฉืœื ื•.ืด
04:45
He paused, then added,
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ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ืกืก, ื•ื”ื•ืกื™ืฃ,
04:48
"When women have children, their place is in the home."
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ืดื›ืฉืœื ืฉื™ื ื™ืฉ ื™ืœื“ื™ื, ื”ืžืงื•ื ืฉืœื”ื ื”ื•ื ื‘ื‘ื™ืช.ืด
04:53
Time stood still for a long while,
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ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืขืžื“ ืžืœื›ืช ืœืžืฉืš ื–ืžืŸ ืจื‘,
04:55
and all I could think and repeat in the chaos of my brain was:
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ื•ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ื•ืœื—ื–ื•ืจ ืขืœื™ื• ื‘ื‘ืœื’ืŸ ืฉื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ื‘ืžื•ื— ื–ื”:
04:59
"You can forget about that partnership, Leila.
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ืดืืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœืฉื›ื•ื— ืžื”ืฉื•ืชืคื•ืช ื‘ื—ื‘ืจื”, ืœื™ืœื”.
05:01
It's just never going to happen."
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ื–ื” ืœื ื™ืงืจื” ืืฃ ืคืขื.ืด
05:04
It took me a couple of days to fully absorb this incident and its implications,
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ืœืงื— ืœื™ ื›ืžื” ื™ืžื™ื ืœืงืœื•ื˜ ื‘ืžืœื•ืื” ืืช ื”ืชืงืจื™ืช ื”ื–ื• ื•ื”ืžืฉืžืขื•ืช ืฉืœื”,
05:08
but once I did, I reached three conclusions.
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉื”ื‘ื ืชื™, ื”ื’ืขืชื™ ืœืฉืœื•ืฉ ืžืกืงื ื•ืช.
05:12
One, that these were his issues,
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ืื—ืช, ืฉืืœื” ื”ื™ื• ื”ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ืฉืœื•,
05:14
his complexes.
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ืชืกื‘ื™ื›ื™ื ืฉืœื•.
05:16
There may be many like him in our society,
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ืื•ืœื™ ื™ืฉ ืจื‘ื™ื ื›ืžื•ื”ื• ื‘ื—ื‘ืจื” ืฉืœื ื•,
05:18
but I would never let their issues become mine.
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื ื•ืชื ืช ืœื‘ืขื™ื•ืชื™ื”ื ืœื”ืคื•ืš ืœืฉืœื™.
05:21
Two, that I needed another sponsor, and fast.
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ืฉืชื™ื™ื, ืฉืื ื™ ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืกืคื•ื ืกืจ ื—ื“ืฉ, ื•ืžื”ืจ.
05:24
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
05:25
I got one, by the way, and boy, was he great.
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ืžืฆืืชื™ ืื—ื“, ื“ืจืš ืื’ื‘, ื•ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ืžืขื•ืœื”.
05:27
And three, that I would get to show John what women with children can do.
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ื•ืฉืœื•ืฉ, ืฉืืฆืœื™ื— ืœื”ืจืื•ืช ืœื’ืณื•ืŸ ืžื” ื ืฉื™ื ืขื ื™ืœื“ื™ื ื™ื›ื•ืœื•ืช ืœืขืฉื•ืช.
05:32
I apply this lesson equally well to my personal life.
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ืื ื™ ืžื™ื™ืฉืžืช ืืช ื”ืฉื™ืขื•ืจ ื”ื–ื” ื‘ืื•ืชื” ืžื™ื“ื” ื‘ื—ื™ื™ ื”ืื™ืฉื™ื™ื.
05:35
As I have progressed in my career,
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ืชื•ืš ื›ื“ื™ ื”ืชืงื“ืžื•ืชื™ ื‘ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืฉืœื™,
05:37
I have received many words of encouragement,
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ืฉืžืขืชื™ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžื™ืœื•ืช ืขื™ื“ื•ื“,
05:40
but I have also often been met by women, men and couples
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืคืขืžื™ื ื’ื ื ืชืงืœืชื™ ื‘ื ืฉื™ื, ื’ื‘ืจื™ื, ื•ื–ื•ื’ื•ืช,
05:44
who have clearly had an issue with my husband and I
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ืฉื‘ื‘ื™ืจื•ืจ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืœื”ื ื‘ืขื™ื” ืขื ื‘ืขืœื™ ื•ืื™ืชื™,
05:47
having chosen the path of a dual-career couple.
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ืขืœ ื›ืš ืฉื‘ื—ืจื ื• ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ืฉืœ ืฉื ื™ ื‘ื ื™ ื–ื•ื’ ืขื•ื‘ื“ื™ื.
05:50
So you get this well-meaning couple
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ืœืžืฉืœ, ื–ื•ื’ ื‘ืขืœ ื›ื•ื•ื ื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”,
05:52
who tells you straight out at a family gathering
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ืฉืื•ืžืจ ืœื›ื ื™ืฉื™ืจื•ืช ื‘ืžืคื’ืฉ ืžืฉืคื—ืชื™,
05:55
or at a friends gathering,
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ืื• ื‘ืžืคื’ืฉ ืขื ื—ื‘ืจื™ื,
05:56
that, come on, you must know you're not a great mom,
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ืฉื‘ืืžืช, ืืช ื‘ื˜ื— ื™ื•ื“ืขืช ืฉืืช ืœื ืืžื ื˜ื•ื‘ื”,
05:58
given how much you're investing in your career, right?
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ื‘ื”ืชื—ืฉื‘ ื‘ื›ืžื” ืฉืืช ืžืฉืงื™ืขื” ื‘ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืฉืœืš, ื ื›ื•ืŸ?
06:02
I would lie if I said these words didn't hurt.
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ืืฉืงืจ ืื ืื•ืžืจ ืฉืžื™ืœื™ื ืืœื• ืœื ื›ื•ืื‘ื•ืช.
06:05
My children are the most precious thing to me,
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ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ื›ื™ ื™ืงืจ ืœื™,
06:07
and the thought that I could be failing them in any way is intolerable.
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ื•ื”ืžื—ืฉื‘ื” ืฉืื ื™ ืžืื›ื–ื‘ืช ืื•ืชื, ื‘ื›ืœ ืฆื•ืจื” ืฉื”ื™ื, ื”ื™ื ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ืกื‘ืœืช.
06:12
But just like I did with John,
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ื›ืžื• ืฉืขืฉื™ืชื™ ืขื ื’ืณื•ืŸ,
06:14
I quickly reminded myself that these were their issues,
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ืžื”ืจ ืžืื•ื“ ื”ื–ื›ืจืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™ ืฉืืœื” ื”ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ืฉืœื”ื,
06:17
their complexes.
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ื”ืชืกื‘ื™ื›ื™ื ืฉืœื”ื.
06:19
So instead of replying,
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ืื– ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœืขื ื•ืช,
06:20
I gave back one of my largest smiles
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ื—ื™ื™ื›ืชื™ ืืช ื”ื—ื™ื•ืš ื”ื›ื™ ื’ื“ื•ืœ ืฉืœื™,
06:23
as I saw, in flashing light,
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ื•ืจืื™ืชื™, ื‘ืื•ืจ ืžื”ื‘ื”ื‘,
06:25
the following sign in my mind's eye.
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ืืช ื”ืฉืœื˜ ื”ื‘ื ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ ืจื•ื—ื™.
06:27
[Be happy, it drives people crazy.]
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[ื”ื™ื™ ืฉืžื—ื”, ื–ื” ืžืฉื’ืข ืื ืฉื™ื!]
06:29
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
06:34
You see, as a young woman in these situations, you have two options.
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ื›ื‘ื—ื•ืจื” ืฆืขื™ืจื” ื‘ืžืฆื‘ื™ื ื›ืืœื”, ื™ืฉ ืœืš ืฉืชื™ ืืคืฉืจื•ื™ื•ืช.
06:38
You can either decide to internalize these negative messages
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ืืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ื—ืœื™ื˜ ืœื”ืคื ื™ื ืืช ื”ืžืกืจื™ื ื”ืฉืœื™ืœื™ื™ื
06:41
that are being thrown at you,
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ืฉื–ื•ืจืงื™ื ืขืœื™ืš,
06:42
to let them make you feel like a failure,
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ืœืชืช ืœื”ื ืœื’ืจื•ื ืœืš ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ื›ืžื• ื›ื™ืฉืœื•ืŸ,
06:44
like success is way too hard to ever achieve,
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ืฉื”ืฆืœื—ื” ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ื™ื ื“ื‘ืจ ืงืฉื” ืžื“ื™ ืœื”ืฉื’ื”,
06:47
or you can choose to see that others' negativity is their own issue,
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ืื• ืฉืืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื‘ื—ื•ืจ ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื”ืฉืœื™ืœื™ื•ืช ืฉืœ ืื—ืจื™ื ื”ื™ื ื”ื‘ืขื™ื” ืฉืœื”ื,
06:50
and instead transform it into your own personal fuel.
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ื•ืœื”ืคื•ืš ืืช ื–ื” ืœื“ืœืง ื”ืื™ืฉื™ ืฉืœืš.
06:54
I have learned to always go for option two,
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ืื ื™ ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืœืœื›ืช ืชืžื™ื“ ืขืœ ื”ืื•ืคืฆื™ื” ื”ืฉื ื™ื™ื”,
06:58
and I have found that it has taken me from strength to strength.
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ื•ืžืฆืืชื™ ืฉื–ื” ื ืฉื ืื•ืชื™ ืžื—ื•ื–ืง ืœื—ื•ื–ืง.
07:01
And it's true what they say:
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ื•ื–ื” ื ื›ื•ืŸ ืžื” ืฉืื•ืžืจื™ื:
07:03
success is the best revenge.
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ื”ืฆืœื—ื” ื”ื™ื ื”ื ืงืžื” ื”ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ.
07:06
Some women in the Middle East
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ืœื ืฉื™ื ืื—ื“ื•ืช ื‘ืžื–ืจื— ื”ืชื™ื›ื•ืŸ
07:08
are lucky enough to be married to someone supportive of their career.
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ื™ืฉ ืžืกืคื™ืง ืžื–ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื ืฉื•ืื•ืช ืœืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืฉืชื•ืžืš ื‘ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืฉืœื”ื.
07:11
Correction: I should say "smart enough,"
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ืชื™ืงื•ืŸ: ืื ื™ ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืœื”ื’ื™ื“ ืดืžืกืคื™ืง ืฉื›ืœืด,
07:14
because who you marry is your own choice,
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ื›ื™ ื”ื”ื—ืœื˜ื” ืขื ืžื™ ืœื”ืชื—ืชืŸ ื”ื™ื ืฉืœืš,
07:16
and you'd better marry someone supportive if you plan to have a long career.
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ื•ื›ื“ืื™ ืœืš ืœื”ืชื—ืชืŸ ืขื ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืฉืชื•ืžืš ื‘ืš ืื ืืช ืžืชื›ื ื ืช ืœืขืฆืžืš ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืืจื•ื›ื”.
07:21
Still today, the Arab man is not an equal contributor in the home.
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ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ื›ื™ื•ื, ื”ื’ื‘ืจ ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ ืœื ืชื•ืจื ื‘ืฆื•ืจื” ืฉื•ื•ื” ื‘ื‘ื™ืช.
07:25
It's simply not expected by our society,
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ื”ื—ื‘ืจื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœื ืžืฆืคื” ืœื–ื” ืžืžื ื•,
07:27
and even frowned upon as not very manly.
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ื•ืืคื™ืœื• ืจื•ืื” ื‘ื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืœื ื’ื‘ืจื™.
07:31
As for the Arab woman, our society still assumes
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ื•ื‘ื ื•ื’ืข ืœืืฉื” ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื”, ื”ื—ื‘ืจื” ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ืžื ื™ื—ื”
07:34
that her primary source of happiness should be the happiness and prosperity
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ืฉื”ืžืงื•ืจ ื”ืจืืฉื™ ืฉืœื” ืœืื•ืฉืจ ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื”ืื•ืฉืจ ื•ื”ืฉื’ืฉื•ื’
07:37
of her children and husband.
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ืฉืœ ื™ืœื“ื™ื” ื•ื‘ืขืœื”.
07:39
She mostly exists for her family.
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ื”ื™ื ืงื™ื™ืžืช ื‘ืขื™ืงืจ ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ืžืฉืคื—ืชื”.
07:43
Things are changing, but it will take time.
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ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืžืฉืชื ื™ื, ืื‘ืœ ื–ื” ื™ื™ืงื— ื–ืžืŸ.
07:45
For now, it means that the professional Arab woman
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ื›ืจื’ืข, ื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ ืฉืื™ืฉื” ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ืช ืขืจื‘ื™ืช
07:48
has to somehow maintain the perfect home,
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ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืœืฉืžื•ืจ ืขืœ ื‘ื™ืช ืžื•ืฉืœื,
07:51
make sure that her children's every need is being taken care of
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ืœื˜ืคืœ ื‘ื›ืœ ื”ืฆืจื›ื™ื ืฉืœ ื™ืœื“ื™ื”,
07:54
and manage her demanding career.
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ื•ืœื ื”ืœ ืืช ื”ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ื”ืชื•ื‘ืขื ื™ืช ืฉืœื”.
07:57
To achieve this, I have found the hard way
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื’ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื”, ื’ื™ืœื™ืชื™ ื‘ื“ืจืš ื”ืงืฉื”,
08:01
that you need to apply your hard-earned professional skills to your personal life.
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ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื™ื™ืฉื ืืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื•ืชื™ื™ืš ื”ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ื•ืช, ืฉื”ืจื•ื•ื—ืช ื‘ืขืžืœ ืจื‘, ื‘ื—ื™ื™ืš ื”ืื™ืฉื™ื™ื.
08:05
You need to work your life.
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ืืช ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ืขืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœืš.
08:08
Here is how I do this in my personal life.
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ื•ื›ืš ืื ื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ื–ืืช ื‘ื—ื™ื™ ื”ืื™ืฉื™ื™ื.
08:12
One thing to know about the Middle East
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ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“ ืฉืฆืจื™ืš ืœื“ืขืช ืขืœ ื”ืžื–ืจื— ื”ืชื™ื›ื•ืŸ
08:14
is that nearly every family has access to affordable domestic help.
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ื–ื” ืฉื›ืžืขื˜ ืœื›ืœ ืžืฉืคื—ื” ื™ืฉ ื’ื™ืฉื” ืœืขื–ืจื” ื‘ื™ืชื™ืช ื–ื•ืœื”.
08:19
The challenge therefore becomes how to recruit effectively.
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ื”ืืชื’ืจ, ืœืคื™ื›ืš, ื”ื•ืคืš ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืื™ืš ืœื’ื™ื™ืก ื‘ื™ืขื™ืœื•ืช.
08:23
Just like I would in my business life, I have based the selection
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ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ื›ืคื™ ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ื‘ื—ื™ื™ ื”ืžืงืฆื•ืขื™ื™ื, ืื ื™ ื‘ื™ืกืกืชื™ ืืช ื”ื‘ื—ื™ืจื”
08:26
of who would support me with my children while I'm at work
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ื‘ืžื™ ื™ืขื–ื•ืจ ืœื™ ืขื ื™ืœื“ื™ ื›ืฉืื ื™ ื‘ืขื‘ื•ื“ื”
08:29
on a strong referral.
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ืขืœ ื‘ืกื™ืก ื”ืžืœืฆื” ื—ื–ืงื”.
08:31
Cristina had worked for four years with my sister
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ืงืจื™ืกื˜ื™ื ื” ืขื‘ื“ื” ืืฆืœ ืื—ื•ืชื™ ืืจื‘ืข ืฉื ื™ื,
08:34
and the quality of her work was well-established.
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ื•ืื™ื›ื•ืช ื”ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืฉืœื” ื”ื™ื” ืžื‘ื•ืกืก.
08:37
She is now an integral member of our family,
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ื”ื™ื ืขื›ืฉื™ื• ื—ืœืง ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ืคืจื“ ืฉืœ ืžืฉืคื—ืชื ื•,
08:40
having been with us since Alia was six months old.
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ื”ื™ื ืื™ืชื ื• ืžืื– ืฉืขืœื™ื” ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื‘ืช ืฉื™ืฉื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื.
08:43
She makes sure that the house is running smoothly while I'm at work,
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ื”ื™ื ื“ื•ืื’ืช ืœื›ืš ืฉื”ื‘ื™ืช ื™ืชืคืงื“ ื—ืœืง ื›ืฉืื ื™ ื‘ืขื‘ื•ื“ื”,
08:46
and I make sure to empower her
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ื•ืื ื™ ื“ื•ืื’ืช ืœื—ื–ืง ืื•ืชื”
08:49
in the most optimal conditions for her and my children,
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ื‘ืชื ืื™ื ื”ื›ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ื™ื ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื” ื•ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื™,
08:52
just like I would my best talent at work.
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ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ื›ืคื™ ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ื‘ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืœืขื•ื‘ื“ ื”ื›ื™ ืžื•ื›ืฉืจ ืืฆืœื™.
08:55
This lesson applies whatever your childcare situation,
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ื”ืฉื™ืขื•ืจ ื”ื–ื” ืชืงืฃ ืœื›ืœ ืกื™ื˜ื•ืืฆื™ื” ื‘ื ื•ื’ืข ืœื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื‘ื™ืœื“ื™ื,
08:59
whether an au pair, nursery,
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ืื ืื•-ืคืจ, ื’ืŸ ื™ืœื“ื™ื,
09:01
part-time nanny that you share with someone else.
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ืžื˜ืคืœืช ื‘ืžืฉืจื” ื—ืœืงื™ืช ืฉื—ื•ืœืงื™ื ืื•ืชื” ืขื ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืื—ืจ.
09:03
Choose very carefully, and empower.
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ืœื‘ื—ื•ืจ ื‘ื–ื”ื™ืจื•ืช ืจื‘ื”, ื•ืœื—ื–ืง.
09:08
If you look at my calendar,
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ืื ืชืกืชื›ืœื• ื‘ืœื•ื— ื”ืฉื ื” ืฉืœื™,
09:09
you will see every working day
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ืชื™ืจืื• ืฉื›ืœ ื™ื•ื ืขื‘ื•ื“ื”
09:11
one and a half hours from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time
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ืฉืขื” ื•ื—ืฆื™, ืž19:00 ืœ20:30 ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืื™ื—ื•ื“ ื”ืืžื™ืจื•ื™ื•ืช ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช,
09:15
blocked and called "family time."
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ื—ืกื•ื ื•ืจืฉื•ื ื›ืดื–ืžืŸ ืžืฉืคื—ื”ืด.
09:17
This is sacred time.
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ื–ื” ื–ืžืŸ ืงื“ื•ืฉ.
09:19
I have done this ever since Alia was a baby.
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ืขืฉื™ืชื™ ืืช ื–ื” ืžืื– ืฉืขืœื™ื” ื”ื™ืชื” ืชื™ื ื•ืงืช.
09:23
I do everything in my power to protect this time
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ืื ื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ื›ืœ ืฉื‘ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืฉืžื•ืจ ืขืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื”ื–ื”
09:25
so that I can be home by then to spend quality time with my children,
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ื›ื“ื™ ืฉืื•ื›ืœ ืœื—ื–ื•ืจ ื”ื‘ื™ืชื” ื•ืœื‘ืœื•ืช ื–ืžืŸ ืื™ื›ื•ืช ืขื ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื™,
09:28
asking them about their day,
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ืœืฉืื•ืœ ืื•ืชื ืขืœ ื”ื™ื•ื ืฉืœื”ื,
09:31
checking up on homework, reading them a bedtime story
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ืœื‘ื“ื•ืง ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ื‘ื™ืช, ืœื”ืงืจื™ื ืœื”ื ืกื™ืคื•ืจ ืœืคื ื™ ื”ืฉื™ื ื”,
09:34
and giving them lots of kisses and cuddles.
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ื•ืœืชืช ืœื”ื ื”ืžื•ืŸ ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืงื™ื ื•ื ืฉื™ืงื•ืช.
09:36
If I'm traveling, in whatever the time zone,
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ืื ืื ื™ ื‘ื ืกื™ืขืช ืขืกืงื™ื, ืœื ืžืฉื ื” ื‘ืื™ื–ื” ืื–ื•ืจ ื–ืžืŸ,
09:39
I use Skype to connect with my children even if I am miles away.
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ืื ื™ ืžืชื—ื‘ืจืช ืขื ื™ืœื“ื™ื™ ื‘ืกืงื™ื™ืค ื’ื ืื ืื ื™ ื ืžืฆืืช ื‘ืžืจื—ืง ืงื™ืœื•ืžื˜ืจื™ื ืจื‘ื™ื ืžืฉื.
09:44
Our son Burhan is five years old,
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ื”ื‘ืŸ ืฉืœื ื• ื‘ื•ืจื”ืŸ ื”ื•ื ื‘ืŸ ื—ืžืฉ,
09:46
and he's learning to read and do basic maths.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืœื•ืžื“ ืงืจื™ืื” ื•ื—ืฉื‘ื•ืŸ ื‘ืกื™ืกื™.
09:49
Here's another confession:
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ื”ื ื” ืขื•ื“ ื•ื™ื“ื•ื™:
09:51
I have found that our daughter is actually more successful
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ื”ื‘ืช ืฉืœื ื• ืœืžืขืฉื” ืžืฆืœื™ื—ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืžื ื™
09:54
at teaching him these skills than I am.
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ืœืœืžื“ ืื•ืชื• ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ืืœื”.
09:56
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
09:58
It started as a game, but Alia loves playing teacher to her little brother,
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ื–ื” ื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ื›ืžืฉื—ืง, ืื‘ืœ ืขืœื™ื” ืื•ื”ื‘ืช ืœืฉื—ืง ื›ืžื•ืจื” ืฉืœ ืื—ื™ื” ื”ืงื˜ืŸ,
10:02
and I have found that these sessions actually improve Burhan's literacy,
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ื•ืžืฆืืชื™ ืฉื”ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ื ื”ืืœื” ื‘ืืžืช ืžืฉืคืจื™ื ืืช ื”ืื•ืจื™ื™ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื‘ื•ืจื”ืŸ,
10:08
increase Alia's sense of responsibility,
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ืžื’ื‘ื™ืจื™ื ืืช ืชื—ื•ืฉืช ื”ืื—ืจื™ื•ืช ืฉืœ ืขืœื™ื”,
10:10
and strengthen the bonding between them,
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ื•ืžื—ื–ืงืช ืืช ื”ืงืฉืจ ื‘ื™ื ื™ื”ื,
10:12
a win-win all around.
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ืื– ื–ื• ื”ืฆืœื—ื” ื‘ื›ืœ ืžื•ื‘ืŸ.
10:15
The successful Arab women I know
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ื”ื ืฉื™ื ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื”ืžืฆืœื™ื—ื•ืช ืฉืื ื™ ืžื›ื™ืจื”,
10:17
have each found their unique approach to working their life
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ืžืฆืื• ืืช ื”ื’ื™ืฉื” ื”ื™ื™ื—ื•ื“ื™ืช ืฉืœื”ืŸ ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ืขืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื”ืŸ
10:20
as they continue to shoulder
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ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืฉื”ืŸ ืžืžืฉื™ื›ื•ืช ืœืฉืืช ืขืœ ื›ืชืคื™ื”ืŸ ืืช ืขื™ืงืจ ื”ืื—ืจื™ื•ืช ื‘ื‘ื™ืช.
10:22
the lion's share of responsibility in the home.
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10:25
But this is not just about surviving in your dual role
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืขื ื™ืŸ ืื™ื ื• ืจืง ื”ื™ื›ื•ืœืช ืœืฉืจื•ื“ ื‘ืฉื ื™ ื”ืชืคืงื™ื“ื™ื
10:27
as a career woman and mother.
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ื›ืืฉืช ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ื•ืืžื.
10:29
This is also about being in the present.
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ืืœื ื’ื ื”ื™ื›ื•ืœืช ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื”ื•ื•ื”.
10:33
When I am with my children,
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ื›ืฉืื ื™ ืขื ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื™,
10:34
I try to leave work out of our lives.
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ืื ื™ ืžื ืกื” ืœื”ืฉืื™ืจ ืืช ื”ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžื—ื•ืฅ ืœื—ื™ื™ื ื•.
10:37
Instead of worrying about how many minutes I can spend with them every day,
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœื“ืื•ื’ ืขืœ ื›ืžื” ื“ืงื•ืช ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื‘ืœื•ืช ืื™ืชื ื›ืœ ื™ื•ื,
10:41
I focus on turning these minutes into memorable moments,
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ืื ื™ ืžืชืžืงื“ืช ื‘ื”ืคื™ื›ืช ื”ื“ืงื•ืช ื”ืืœื• ืœืจื’ืขื™ื ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ืฉื›ื—ื™ื,
10:45
moments where I'm seeing my kids,
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ืจื’ืขื™ื ืฉืื ื™ ืจื•ืื” ืืช ื”ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื™,
10:47
hearing them, connecting with them.
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ืฉื•ืžืขืช ืื•ืชื, ืžืชื—ื‘ืจืช ืืœื™ื”ื.
10:49
["Join forces, don't compete."]
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["ืขื‘ื“ื• ื™ื—ื“, ืืœ ืชืชื—ืจื•"]
10:51
Arab women of my generation have not been very visible
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ื ืฉื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื“ื•ืจ ืฉืœื™ ืœื ื ืจืื• ืžืกืคื™ืง ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ ื”ืฆื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื›ืฉื”ืŸ ื’ื“ืœื•.
10:53
in the public eye as they grew up.
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10:55
This explains, I think, to some extent,
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ื–ื” ืžืกื‘ื™ืจ, ืœื“ืขืชื™, ื‘ืžื™ื“ื” ืžืกื•ื™ืžืช,
10:57
why you find so few women in politics in the Arab world.
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ืœืžื” ืžืกืคืจ ื”ื ืฉื™ื ื‘ืคื•ืœื™ื˜ื™ืงื” ื‘ืขื•ืœื ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ ื”ื•ื ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื ืžื•ืš.
11:01
The upside of this, however,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื™ืชืจื•ืŸ ืฉืœ ื–ื” ื”ื•ื
11:02
is that we have spent a lot of time
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ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™ื ื• ื”ืžื•ืŸ ื–ืžืŸ
11:04
developing a social skill behind the scenes,
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ื‘ืคื™ืชื•ื— ื™ื›ื•ืœื•ืช ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ื•ืช ืžืื—ื•ืจื™ ื”ืงืœืขื™ื,
11:09
in coffee shops, in living rooms,
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ื‘ื‘ืชื™ ืงืคื”, ื‘ืกืœื•ืŸ, ื‘ื˜ืœืคื•ืŸ,
11:10
on the phone,
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11:12
a social skill that is very important to success:
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ื™ื›ื•ืœืช ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ืช ืฉืžืื•ื“ ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื” ืœื”ืฆืœื—ื”:
11:14
networking.
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ื ื˜ื•ื•ืจืงื™ื ื’.
11:16
I would say the average Arab woman
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืื•ืžืจืช ืฉืœืื™ืฉื” ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ืช ื”ืžืžื•ืฆืขืช
11:18
has a large network of friends and acquaintances.
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ื™ืฉ ืจืฉืช ื’ื“ื•ืœื” ืฉืœ ื—ื‘ืจื™ื ื•ืžื›ืจื™ื.
11:20
The majority of those are also women.
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ื‘ืจื•ื‘ื ื ืฉื™ื.
11:24
In the West, it seems like ambitious women often compare themselves to other women
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ื‘ืžืขืจื‘, ื ื“ืžื” ืฉื ืฉื™ื ืฉืืคืชื ื™ื•ืช ืžืฉื•ื•ืช ืืช ืขืฆืžืŸ, ืœืขื™ืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช, ืœื ืฉื™ื ืื—ืจื•ืช,
11:28
hoping to be noticed as the most successful woman in the room.
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ื‘ืชืงื•ื•ื” ืฉื™ืกื•ืžื ื• ื‘ืชื•ืจ ื”ืื™ืฉื” ื”ื›ื™ ืžืฆืœื™ื—ื” ื‘ื—ื“ืจ.
11:32
This leads to the much-spoken-about competitive behavior
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ื–ื” ืžื•ื‘ื™ืœ ืœื”ืชื ื”ื’ื•ืช ืฉืžืจื‘ื™ื ืœื“ื‘ืจ ื‘ื”, ื”ืชื ื”ื’ื•ืช ืชื—ืจื•ืชื™ืช ื‘ื™ืŸ ื ืฉื•ืช ืžืงืฆื•ืข.
11:35
between professional women.
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11:37
If there's only room for one woman at the top,
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ืื ื™ืฉ ืžืงื•ื ืจืง ืœืื™ืฉื” ืื—ืช ื‘ืฆืžืจืช,
11:39
then you can't make room for others, much less lift them up.
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ืื– ืื™ ืืคืฉืจ ืœืคื ื•ืช ืžืงื•ื ืœืื—ืจื•ืช, ื•ื‘ื•ื•ื“ืื™ ืฉืœื ืœืชืžื•ืš ื‘ื”ืฆืœื—ืชืŸ.
11:43
Arab women, generally speaking,
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ื ืฉื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช, ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ื›ืœืœื™,
11:45
have not fallen for this psychological trap.
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ืœื ื ืคืœื• ื‘ืžืœื›ื•ื“ืช ื”ืคืกื™ื›ื•ืœื•ื’ื™ืช ื”ื–ืืช.
11:48
Faced with a patriarchal society,
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ื‘ื”ืชืžื•ื“ื“ื•ืช ืขื ื—ื‘ืจื” ืคื˜ืจื™ืืจื›ืœื™ืช,
11:50
they have found that by helping each other out,
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ื”ืŸ ืžืฆืื• ืฉืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืขื–ืจื” ื”ื“ื“ื™ืช ืื—ืช ืœืฉื ื™ื™ื”,
11:52
all benefit.
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ื›ื•ืœืŸ ืžืจื•ื•ื™ื—ื•ืช,
11:55
In my previous job, I was the most senior woman in the Middle East,
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ื‘ืชืคืงื™ื“ื™ ื”ืงื•ื“ื, ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื”ืื™ืฉื” ื”ื›ื™ ื‘ื›ื™ืจื” ื”ืžื–ืจื— ื”ืชื™ื›ื•ืŸ,
11:58
so one could think that investing in my network of female colleagues
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ืื– ืืคืฉืจ ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืฉื”ืฉืงืขื” ื‘ื ืฉื™ื ืฉืขื‘ื“ื• ืื™ืชื™
12:02
couldn't bring many benefits
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ืœื ื™ื›ืœื” ืœื”ื‘ื™ื ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ืชืจื•ื ื•ืช
12:03
and that I should instead invest my time
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ื•ื‘ืžืงื•ื ื–ื” ืขืœื™ ืœื”ืฉืงื™ืข ืืช ื–ืžื ื™
12:06
developing my relationships with male seniors and peers.
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ื‘ืคื™ืชื•ื— ืงืฉืจื™ื ืขื ื‘ื›ื™ืจื™ื ื•ื™ื“ื™ื“ื™ื ื’ื‘ืจื™ื.
12:09
Yet two of my biggest breaks came through the support of other women.
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ืื‘ืœ ืฉืชื™ื™ื ืžื”ื”ืฆืœื—ื•ืช ื”ื›ื™ ื’ื“ื•ืœื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ืงืจื• ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืชืžื™ื›ืชืŸ ืฉืœ ื ืฉื™ื ืื—ืจื•ืช.
12:14
It was the head of marketing who initially suggested
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ื–ื• ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืจืืฉืช ืžื—ืœืงืช ื”ืฉื™ื•ื•ืง ืฉื”ืฆื™ืขื” ืœืจืืฉื•ื ื”
12:16
I be considered as a young global leader to the World Economic Forum.
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ืืช ืžื•ืขืžื“ืชื™ ื›ืžื ื”ื™ื’ื” ืขื•ืœืžื™ืช ืฆืขื™ืจื” ื‘ืคื•ืจื•ื ื”ื›ืœื›ืœื” ื”ืขื•ืœืžื™.
12:20
She was familiar with my media engagements and my publications,
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื›ื™ืจื” ืืช ืžืขื•ืจื‘ื•ืชื™ ื‘ืชืงืฉื•ืจืช ื•ืืช ื”ืคืจืกื•ืžื™ื ืฉืœื™,
12:23
and when she was asked to voice her opinion,
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ื•ื›ืฉืฉืืœื• ืื•ืชื” ืœื“ืขืชื”,
12:25
she highlighted my name.
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื“ื’ื™ืฉื” ืืช ื”ืฉื ืฉืœื™.
12:27
It was a young consultant, a Saudi lady and friend,
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ื–ื• ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื™ื•ืขืฆืช ืฆืขื™ืจื”, ืื™ืฉื” ืกืขื•ื“ื™ืช ื•ื—ื‘ืจื”,
12:29
who helped me sell my first project in Saudi Arabia,
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ืฉืขื–ืจื” ืœื™ ืœืžื›ื•ืจ ืืช ื”ืคืจื•ื™ืงื˜ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™ ื‘ืขืจื‘ ื”ืกืขื•ื“ื™ืช,
12:32
a market I was finding hard to gain traction in as a woman.
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ืฉื•ืง ืฉื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ืงืฉื” ืœื”ื™ื›ื ืก ืืœื™ื• ื›ืื™ืฉื”.
12:36
She introduced me to a client,
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื›ื™ืจื” ืœื™ ืœืงื•ื— ืื—ื“,
12:38
and that introduction led to the first of very many projects for me in Saudi.
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ื•ื”ื›ืจื•ืช ื–ื• ื”ื•ื‘ื™ืœื” ืœืคืจื•ื™ื™ืงื˜ ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืžื ื™ ืจื‘ื™ื ื‘ืขืจื‘ ื”ืกืขื•ื“ื™ืช.
12:42
Today, I have two senior women on my team,
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ื”ื™ื•ื, ื™ืฉ ืฉืชื™ ื ืฉื™ื ื‘ื›ื™ืจื•ืช ื‘ืฆื•ื•ืช ืฉืœื™,
12:45
and I see making them successful as key to my own success.
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ื•ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ ื”ื”ืฆืœื—ื” ืฉืœื”ืŸ ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื” ืœื”ืฆืœื—ื” ืฉืœื™.
12:50
Women continue to advance in the world,
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ื ืฉื™ื ืžืžืฉื™ื›ื•ืช ืœื”ืชืงื“ื ื‘ืขื•ืœื,
12:52
not fast enough, but we're moving.
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ืœื ืžืกืคื™ืง ืžื”ืจ, ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ื ืขื•ืช ืงื“ื™ืžื”.
12:54
The Arab world, too, is making progress, despite many recent setbacks.
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ื’ื ื”ืขื•ืœื ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ ืžืชืงื“ื, ืœืžืจื•ืช ืชืงืœื•ืช ืจื‘ื•ืช ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ.
12:58
Just this year, the UAE appointed five new female ministers to its cabinet,
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ืจืง ื”ืฉื ื”, ื”ืืžื™ืจื•ื™ื•ืช ื”ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื”ืžืื•ื—ื“ื•ืช ืžื™ื ื• ื—ืžืฉ ื ืฉื™ื ืœืชืคืงื™ื“ ืฉืจื•ืช ื‘ืงื‘ื™ื ื˜,
13:03
for a total of eight female ministers.
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ื‘ืกืš ื”ื›ืœ ื™ืฉ ืขื›ืฉื™ื• ืฉืžื•ื ื” ืฉืจื•ืช.
13:06
That's nearly 28 percent of the cabinet,
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ื–ื” ื›ืžืขื˜ 28% ืžื”ืงื‘ื™ื ื˜,
13:09
and more than many developed countries can claim.
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ื•ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืžื” ืฉื”ืจื‘ื” ืžื“ื™ื ื•ืช ืžืคื•ืชื—ื•ืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื•ืช ืœื˜ืขื•ืŸ ืœื–ื›ื•ืชืŸ.
13:11
This is today my daughter Alia's favorite picture.
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ื”ื™ื•ื, ื–ืืช ื”ืชืžื•ื ื” ื”ืื”ื•ื‘ื” ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืขืœ ื‘ืชื™ ืขืœื™ื”.
13:15
This is the result, no doubt, of great leadership,
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ื–ืืช ื”ืชื•ืฆืื” ืฉืœ ืžื ื”ื™ื’ื•ืช ืžื“ื”ื™ืžื”,
13:17
but it is also the result of strong Arab women
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ืื‘ืœ ื’ื ืชื•ืฆืื” ืฉืœ ื ืฉื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ื—ื–ืงื•ืช
13:20
not giving up and continuously pushing the boundaries.
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ืฉืœื ืžื•ื•ืชืจื•ืช ื•ืžืžืฉื™ื›ื•ืช ืœื”ืจื—ื™ื‘ ืืช ื”ื’ื‘ื•ืœื•ืช.
13:23
It is the result of Arab women deciding every day like me
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ื–ืืช ื”ืชื•ืฆืื” ืฉืœ ื ืฉื™ื ืขืจื‘ื™ื•ืช ืฉืžื—ืœื™ื˜ื•ืช ื›ืœ ื™ื•ื, ื›ืžื•ื ื™,
13:27
to convert shit into fuel,
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ืœื”ืคื•ืš "ืฉื™ื˜" ืœื“ืœืง,
13:29
to work their life to keep work out of their life,
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ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ืขืœ ื—ื™ื™ื”ืŸ ื•ืœื”ืฉืื™ืจ ืืช ื”ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžื—ื•ืฅ ืœื—ื™ื™ื”ืŸ,
13:32
and to join forces and not compete.
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ื•ืœืื—ื“ ื›ื•ื—ื•ืช ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœื”ืชื—ืจื•ืช.
13:34
As I look to the future,
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ื›ืฉืื ื™ ืฆื•ืคื” ืœืขืชื™ื“,
13:36
my hopes for my daughter when she stands on this stage
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ื”ืชืงื•ื•ื” ืฉืœื™ ืขื‘ื•ืจ ื‘ืชื™ ื›ืฉื”ื™ื ืขื•ืžื“ืช ืขืœ ื”ื‘ืžื” ื”ื–ืืช
13:38
some 20, 30 years from now
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ื‘ืขื•ื“ 20, 30 ืฉื ื™ื ืžืขื›ืฉื™ื•
13:40
are that she be as proud to call herself her mother's daughter
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ื–ื” ืฉื”ื™ื ืชื”ื™ื” ื’ืื” ืœืงืจื•ื ืœืขืฆืžื” ื”ื‘ืช ืฉืœ ืืžื”,
13:43
as her father's daughter.
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ื›ืžื• ืฉื”ื™ื ื’ืื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืชื• ืฉืœ ืื‘ื™ื”.
13:46
My hopes for my son
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ื”ืชืงื•ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ืœื‘ื ื™
13:47
are that by then, the expression "her mother's son" or "mama's boy"
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ื”ืŸ ืฉืขื“ ืื–, ืœื‘ื™ื˜ื•ื™ ืดื‘ืŸ ืฉืœ ืืžื ืฉืœื•ืด ืื• ืดื™ืœื“ ืฉืœ ืืžืืด
13:51
would have taken on a completely different meaning.
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ืชื”ื™ื” ืžืฉืžืขื•ืช ืื—ืจืช ืœื’ืžืจื™.
13:54
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื”.
13:55
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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