3 lessons on success from an Arab businesswoman | Leila Hoteit

Prevoditelj: Danijela Rako Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

"Mom, who are these people?"

"Mama, tko su ovi ljudi?"

It was an innocent question from my young daughter Alia

To je bilo nevino pitanje moje kćeri Alie

around the time when she was three.

u vrijeme kad je imala tri godine.

We were walking along with my husband

Hodali smo s mojim suprugom u jednom

in one of Abu Dhabi's big fancy malls.

od velikih luksuznih trgovačkih centara u Abu Dhabiju.

Alia was peering at a huge poster standing tall in the middle of the mall.

Alia je promatrala ogromni plakat koji je stajao u središtu centra.

It featured the three rulers of the United Arab Emirates.

Na njemu su se nalazila tri vladara Ujedinjenih Arapskih Emirata.

As she tucked in my side,

Kako mi se primaknula,

I bent down and explained that these were the rulers of the UAE

sagnula sam se i objasnila da su to vladari UAE-a koji

who had worked hard to develop their nation

su naporno radili da bi razvili svoju naciju

and preserve its unity.

i očuvali njeno jedinstvo.

She asked, "Mom, why is it that here where we live,

Upitala je, "Mama, zašto ovdje gdje živimo

and back in Lebanon, where grandma and grandpa live,

i u Libanonu, gdje baka i djed žive,

we never see the pictures of powerful women on the walls?

nikada ne vidimo slike snažnih žena na zidovima?

Is it because women are not important?"

Zato što žene nisu važne?"

This is probably the hardest question I've had to answer in my years as a parent

To je vjerojatno najteže pitanje koje sam morala odgovoriti kao roditelj

and in my 16-plus years of professional life, for that matter.

i u svojih 16 godina profesionalnog života, što se toga tiče.

I had grown up in my hometown in Lebanon,

Odrasla sam u svom rodnom gradu u Libanonu,

the younger of two daughters to a very hard-working pilot

najmlađa sam kćer vrlo marljivog pilota

and director of operations for the Lebanese Airlines

i direktora aktivnosti libanonske zrakoplovne kompanije

and a super-supportive stay-at-home mom and grandma.

i mame domaćice koja mi je pružala potporu te bake.

My father had encouraged my sister and I to pursue our education

Moj otac je ohrabrivao moju sestru i mene da nastavimo obrazovanje

even though our culture emphasized at the time

iako je naša kultura u to vrijeme naglašavala

that it was sons and not daughters who should be professionally motivated.

da sinove treba profesionalno motivirati, a ne kćeri.

I was one of very few girls of my generation

Jedna sam od malo djevojaka iz moje generacije

who left home at 18 to study abroad.

koje su napustile dom s 18 da bi studirale vani.

My father didn't have a son,

Moj otac nije imao sina

and so I, in a sense, became his.

pa sam ja na neki način postala njegov sin.

Fast-forward a couple of decades, and I hope I didn't do too badly

Nekoliko desetljeća kasnije, nadam se da sam uspjela

in making my father proud of his would-be son.

učiniti svog oca ponosnim na svog takozvanog sina.

As I got my Bachelor's and PhD in electrical engineering,

Tijekom svog preddiplomskog studija i doktorata iz elektrotehnike,

did R and D in the UK, then consulting in the Middle East,

rada na R&D-u u UK-u pa savjetovanja na Bliskom istoku,

I have always been in male-dominated environments.

uvijek sam bila u okruženju kojim muškarci dominiraju.

Truth be told, I have never found a role model I could truly identify with.

Iskreno rečeno, nikad nisam pronašla uzor s kojim bih se mogla identificirati.

My mother's generation wasn't into professional leadership.

Generaciju moje majke nije zanimalo profesionalno vodstvo.

There were some encouraging men along the way,

Bilo je nekih ohrabrujućih muškaraca, ali

but none knew the demands and pressures I was facing,

nijedan nije znao s kakvim se zahtjevima i pritiscima suočavam,

pressures that got particularly acute when I had my own two beautiful children.

pritiscima koji su postali posebno jaki kad sam rodila dvoje prekrasne djece.

And although Western women love to give us poor, oppressed Arab women advice,

Iako nam žene sa Zapada vole davati savjete za siromašne, potlačene Arapkinje,

they live different lives with different constraints.

one žive različitim životima s različitim ograničenjima.

So Arab women of my generation have had to become our own role models.

Pa su Arapkinje moje generacije morale postati svoji vlastiti uzori.

We have had to juggle more than Arab men,

Morale smo žonglirati više od Arapa

and we have had to face more cultural rigidity than Western women.

i suočiti se s većom kulturnom strogošću nego žene sa Zapada.

As a result, I would like to think that we poor, oppressed women

Kao rezultat toga, voljela bih misliti da mi siromašne, potlačene žene

actually have some useful, certainly hard-earned lessons to share,

zapravo možemo podijeliti neke korisne, teško stečene lekcije,

lessons that might turn out useful

lekcije koje bi mogle biti korisne

for anyone wishing to thrive in the modern world.

bilo kome tko želi uspjeti u suvremenom svijetu.

Here are three of mine.

Evo moje tri lekcije.

["Convert their sh*t into your fuel."]

["Pretvori njihovo sra*e u svoje gorivo."]

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

There is this word that everybody is touting as the key to success:

Postoji riječ koju svi reklamiraju kao ključ uspjeha:

resilience.

otpornost.

Well, what exactly is resilience, and how do you develop it?

Pa što je to točno otpornost i kako se razvija?

I believe resilience is simply the ability to transform shit into fuel.

Smatram da je otpornost jednostavno sposobnost da sranje pretvorite u gorivo.

In my previous job, well before my current firm,

Na mom prošlom poslu, puno prije mog trenutnog poduzeća,

I was working with a man we will call John.

radila sam s muškarcem kojeg ćemo zvati John.

I had teamed up with John and was working hard,

Surađivala sam s Johnom i naporno radila

hoping he would notice how great I was

uz nadu da će primijetiti da sam odlična

and that he would come to support my case to make partner at the firm.

i da će me poduprijeti da postanem partner u poduzeću.

I was, in addition to delivering on my consulting projects,

Uz rad na svojim konzultantskim projektima,

writing passionately on the topic of women economic empowerment.

strastveno sam pisala o ženskom ekonomskom osnaživanju.

One day, I got to present my research to a roomful of MBA students.

Jednoga sam dana predstavljala svoje istraživanje MBA studentima.

John was part of the audience

John je bio dio publike,

listening for the first time to the details of my study.

slušao je detalje mog istraživanja po prvi puta.

As I proceeded with my presentation,

Dok sam izlagala svoju prezentaciju,

I could see John in the corner of my eye.

mogla sam vidjeti Johna krajičkom oka.

He had turned a dark shade of pink

Lice mu je postalo tamnoružičasto

and had slid under his chair in apparent shame.

i skliznuo je sa stolca prividno osramoćen.

I finished my presentation to an applauding audience

Završila sam prezentaciju uz pljesak publike

and we rushed out and jumped into the car.

pa smo požurili i ušli u auto.

There he exploded.

Onda je eksplodirao.

"What you did up there was unacceptable!

"Ono što si tamo napravila je neprihvatljivo!

You are a consultant, not an activist!"

Ti si konzultantica, a ne aktivistkinja!"

I said, "John, I don't understand.

Rekla sam, "John, ne razumijem.

I presented a couple of gender parity indices,

Iznijela sam nekoliko pokazatelja o jednakosti spolova

and some conclusions about the Arab world.

i neke zaključke o arapskom svijetu.

Yes, we do happen to be today at the bottom of the index,

Da, danas smo na dnu ljestvice pokazatelja,

but what is it that I said or presented that was not factual?"

ali što sam rekla ili prezentirala, a da nije točno?"

To which he replied, "The whole premise of your study is wrong.

Na to je odgovorio, "Cijela pretpostavka tvog istraživanja je pogrešna.

What you are doing is dangerous and will break the social fabric of our society."

To što radiš je opasno i slomit će društveno tkivo našeg društva."

He paused, then added,

Zastao je, a onda dodao,

"When women have children, their place is in the home."

"Kada žene imaju djecu, mjesto im je u kući."

Time stood still for a long while,

Vrijeme se dugo zaustavilo

and all I could think and repeat in the chaos of my brain was:

i jedino što sam mogla misliti i ponavljati u kaosu svog uma jest:

"You can forget about that partnership, Leila.

"Možeš zaboraviti na to partnerstvo, Leila."

It's just never going to happen."

Nikad se neće ostvariti."

It took me a couple of days to fully absorb this incident and its implications,

Trebalo mi je nekoliko dana da potpuno shvatim taj događaj i njegove posljedice,

but once I did, I reached three conclusions.

ali kada jesam, došla sam do tri zaključka.

One, that these were his issues,

Prvo, da su to njegovi problemi,

his complexes.

njegovi kompleksi.

There may be many like him in our society,

Ima mnogo ljudi kao on u našem društvu, ali

but I would never let their issues become mine.

neću dopustiti da njegovi problemi budu moji.

Two, that I needed another sponsor, and fast.

Drugo, da trebam drugog pokrovitelja i to brzo.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I got one, by the way, and boy, was he great.

Usput, dobila sam ga i bio je zaista odličan.

And three, that I would get to show John what women with children can do.

I treće, da ću pokazati Johnu što žene s djecom mogu.

I apply this lesson equally well to my personal life.

Tu lekciju primjenjujem jednako dobro i na osobni život.

As I have progressed in my career,

Kako sam napredovala u karijeri,

I have received many words of encouragement,

dobivala sam mnoge riječi ohrabrenja,

but I have also often been met by women, men and couples

ali sam i često susrela žene, muškarce i parove

who have clearly had an issue with my husband and I

koji su očito imali problem s tim što smo suprug i ja

having chosen the path of a dual-career couple.

izabrali put para s dvije karijere.

So you get this well-meaning couple

Pa imate dobronamjeran par

who tells you straight out at a family gathering

koji vam izravno kaže na obiteljskom ili

or at a friends gathering,

prijateljskom okupljanju

that, come on, you must know you're not a great mom,

da, hajde, sigurno znaš da nisi odlična majka

given how much you're investing in your career, right?

s obzirom na to koliko ulažeš u svoju karijeru?

I would lie if I said these words didn't hurt.

Lagala bih ako kažem da me te riječi nisu povrijedile.

My children are the most precious thing to me,

Moja djeca su mi najdragocjenija stvar

and the thought that I could be failing them in any way is intolerable.

i pomisao da ne uspijevam s njima je na neki način nepodnošljiva.

But just like I did with John,

Ali kao u vezi s Johnom,

I quickly reminded myself that these were their issues,

brzo sam se podsjetila da su to njihovi problemi,

their complexes.

njihovi kompleksi.

So instead of replying,

Pa umjesto odgovora,

I gave back one of my largest smiles

dala sam svoj najveći osmijeh

as I saw, in flashing light,

i vidjela u blještavilu

the following sign in my mind's eye.

sljedeći znak u svom umu.

[Be happy, it drives people crazy.]

[Budite sretni, to izluđuje ljude.]

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

You see, as a young woman in these situations, you have two options.

Vidite, kao mlada žena u takvim situacijama, imate dvije opcije.

You can either decide to internalize these negative messages

Možete odlučiti internalizirati te negativne poruke

that are being thrown at you,

koje vam bacaju,

to let them make you feel like a failure,

dopustiti im da se osjećate kao neuspjeh,

like success is way too hard to ever achieve,

kao da je uspjeh pretežak da bi se ikad ostvario

or you can choose to see that others' negativity is their own issue,

ili možete izabrati da vidite da je tuđa negativnost njihov problem

and instead transform it into your own personal fuel.

i umjesto toga pretvorite je u osobno gorivo.

I have learned to always go for option two,

Naučila sam da uvijek odaberem drugu opciju

and I have found that it has taken me from strength to strength.

i shvatila sam da me to vodi prema snazi.

And it's true what they say:

I istina je što kažu:

success is the best revenge.

uspjeh je najbolja osveta.

Some women in the Middle East

Neke žene na Bliskom istoku

are lucky enough to be married to someone supportive of their career.

sretne su što su udane za nekoga tko pruža potporu njihovoj karijeri.

Correction: I should say "smart enough,"

Ispravak: trebala bih reći "dovoljno pametne"

because who you marry is your own choice,

jer je onaj za kojeg se udaju njihov izbor i

and you'd better marry someone supportive if you plan to have a long career.

bolje im je da se udaje za nekoga tko će poduprijeti njihovu dugu karijeru.

Still today, the Arab man is not an equal contributor in the home.

Danas još uvijek Arapi nisu jednaki suradnici u kući.

It's simply not expected by our society,

Jednostavno društvo to ne očekuje od njih

and even frowned upon as not very manly.

i čak se smatra ne baš muževnim.

As for the Arab woman, our society still assumes

U vezi s Arapkinjama, naše društvo i dalje pretpostavlja

that her primary source of happiness should be the happiness and prosperity

da bi njihov primarni izvor sreće trebali biti sreća i prosperitet

of her children and husband.

njihove djece i supruga.

She mostly exists for her family.

Ona uglavnom postoji za svoju obitelj.

Things are changing, but it will take time.

Stvari se mijenjaju, ali treba vremena.

For now, it means that the professional Arab woman

Zasad, to znači da profesionalne Arapkinje

has to somehow maintain the perfect home,

moraju održavati savršen dom,

make sure that her children's every need is being taken care of

osigurati da je svaka potreba njihove djece zadovoljena

and manage her demanding career.

i nositi se sa zahtjevnom karijerom.

To achieve this, I have found the hard way

Za postizanje toga, naučila sam na teži način

that you need to apply your hard-earned professional skills to your personal life.

da trebate primijeniti teško naučene profesionalne vještine na svoj osobni život.

You need to work your life.

Trebate raditi svoj život.

Here is how I do this in my personal life.

Evo kako ja to radim u svom osobnom životu.

One thing to know about the Middle East

Jedno što treba znati o Bliskom istoku

is that nearly every family has access to affordable domestic help.

jest da skoro svaka obitelj ima pristup dostupnoj pomoći u domaćinstvu.

The challenge therefore becomes how to recruit effectively.

Stoga izazov postaje kako djelotvorno zaposliti.

Just like I would in my business life, I have based the selection

Kao i u mom poslovnom životu, temeljila sam izbor

of who would support me with my children while I'm at work

na tome tko bi mi pomogao s djecom dok sam na poslu

on a strong referral.

kao snažno polazište.

Cristina had worked for four years with my sister

Cristina je radila četiri godine s mojom sestrom

and the quality of her work was well-established.

i kvaliteta njenog rada je dobro utemeljena.

She is now an integral member of our family,

Ona je sada sastavni član naše obitelji

having been with us since Alia was six months old.

jer je s nama otkad je Alia imala šest mjeseci.

She makes sure that the house is running smoothly while I'm at work,

Brine da je u kući sve kako treba dok sam na poslu

and I make sure to empower her

a ja se brinem da je osnažujem

in the most optimal conditions for her and my children,

u najboljim uvjetima za nju i moju djecu,

just like I would my best talent at work.

baš kao što bih i svoje najbolje talente na poslu.

This lesson applies whatever your childcare situation,

Lekcija se primjenjuje bez obzira na vašu situaciju s brigom oko djeteta,

whether an au pair, nursery,

radi li se o dadilji, jaslicama,

part-time nanny that you share with someone else.

dadilji na pola radnog vremena koju dijelite.

Choose very carefully, and empower.

Izaberite vrlo oprezno i osnažujte.

If you look at my calendar,

Ako pogledate moj kalendar,

you will see every working day

vidjet ćete svakog radnog dana

one and a half hours from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time

sat i pol vremena od 19 do 20.30 po vremenu u UAE-ima

blocked and called "family time."

blokirano i nazvano "obiteljsko vrijeme".

This is sacred time.

To je sveto vrijeme.

I have done this ever since Alia was a baby.

To radim otkad je Alia bila beba.

I do everything in my power to protect this time

Radim sve u svojoj moći da zaštitim to vrijeme

so that I can be home by then to spend quality time with my children,

da bih mogla do tada stići kući i provesti kvalitetno vrijeme s djecom,

asking them about their day,

pitati ih o njihovom danu,

checking up on homework, reading them a bedtime story

provjeriti zadaću, pročitati priču prije spavanja

and giving them lots of kisses and cuddles.

i dati im mnogo poljubaca i zagrljaja.

If I'm traveling, in whatever the time zone,

Ako putujem, u kojoj god sam vremenskoj zoni

I use Skype to connect with my children even if I am miles away.

koristim Skype da se povežem s djecom čak i ako sam miljama daleko.

Our son Burhan is five years old,

Naš sin Burhan ima pet godina

and he's learning to read and do basic maths.

i uči čitanje i osnovnu matematiku.

Here's another confession:

Evo još jednog priznanja:

I have found that our daughter is actually more successful

Shvatila sam da je naša kćer zapravo uspješnija

at teaching him these skills than I am.

u podučavanju tih vještina od mene.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

It started as a game, but Alia loves playing teacher to her little brother,

Počelo je kao igra, ali se Alia voli igrati učiteljice svojem mlađem bratu

and I have found that these sessions actually improve Burhan's literacy,

i shvatila sam da te poduke zapravo poboljšavaju Burhanovu pismenost,

increase Alia's sense of responsibility,

povećavaju Aliain osjećaj odgovornosti

and strengthen the bonding between them,

i osnažuje vezu između njih,

a win-win all around.

dobitak za sve.

The successful Arab women I know

Uspješne Arapkinje koje poznajem

have each found their unique approach to working their life

su našle svoj jedinstven pristup odrađivanju svojih života

as they continue to shoulder

noseći se s

the lion's share of responsibility in the home.

većinom odgovornosti u kući.

But this is not just about surviving in your dual role

Ali to nije samo preživljavanje u dvostrukoj ulozi

as a career woman and mother.

žene s karijerom i majke.

This is also about being in the present.

Radi se i o življenju u sadašnjosti.

When I am with my children,

Kad sam s djecom,

I try to leave work out of our lives.

pokušavam isključiti posao iz naših života.

Instead of worrying about how many minutes I can spend with them every day,

Umjesto da brinem koliko minuta mogu provesti s njima svaki dan,

I focus on turning these minutes into memorable moments,

usredotočim se na pretvaranje tih minuta u uspomene,

moments where I'm seeing my kids,

trenutke u kojima vidim svoju djecu,

hearing them, connecting with them.

čujem ih, povezujem se s njima.

["Join forces, don't compete."]

["Udružite snage, ne natječite se."]

Arab women of my generation have not been very visible

Arapkinje moje generacije nisu bile vrlo vidljive

in the public eye as they grew up.

u očima javnosti dok su odrastale.

This explains, I think, to some extent,

To objašnjava u nekoj mjeri

why you find so few women in politics in the Arab world.

zašto ima toliko malo žena u politici u arapskom svijetu.

The upside of this, however,

Međutim, prednost toga

is that we have spent a lot of time

jest da su smo provele mnogo vremena

developing a social skill behind the scenes,

razvijajući društvenu vještinu u pozadini,

in coffee shops, in living rooms,

u kafićima, dnevnim sobama,

on the phone,

na telefonu,

a social skill that is very important to success:

društvenu vještinu koja je vrlo važna za uspjeh:

networking.

povezivanje.

I would say the average Arab woman

Rekla bih da prosječna Arapkinja

has a large network of friends and acquaintances.

ima veliku mrežu prijatelja i poznanika.

The majority of those are also women.

Većina njih su također žene.

In the West, it seems like ambitious women often compare themselves to other women

Na Zapadu se čini da se ambiciozne žene često uspoređuju s drugim ženama

hoping to be noticed as the most successful woman in the room.

s nadom se da će ih primijetiti kao najuspješniju ženu.

This leads to the much-spoken-about competitive behavior

To dovodi do često spominjanog natjecanja

between professional women.

između profesionalnih žena.

If there's only room for one woman at the top,

Ako postoji mjesto za jednu ženu na vrhu,

then you can't make room for others, much less lift them up.

onda ne može biti mjesta za druge, kamoli ih pogurati.

Arab women, generally speaking,

Općenito govoreći, Arapkinje

have not fallen for this psychological trap.

nisu upale u tu psihološku zamku.

Faced with a patriarchal society,

Suočene s patrijahalnim društvom,

they have found that by helping each other out,

shvatile su da pomažući jedna drugoj

all benefit.

svi imaju koristi.

In my previous job, I was the most senior woman in the Middle East,

Na mom prošlom poslu, bila sam najstarija žena na Bliskom istoku

so one could think that investing in my network of female colleagues

pa bi se moglo pomisliti da ulaganje u povezivanje s kolegicama

couldn't bring many benefits

ne može donijeti mnoge koristi

and that I should instead invest my time

i da bih trebala uložiti svoje vrijeme

developing my relationships with male seniors and peers.

u razvijanje odnosa s muškim nadređenima i kolegama.

Yet two of my biggest breaks came through the support of other women.

Ali dva moja napretka došla su potporom drugih žena.

It was the head of marketing who initially suggested

Direktorica marketinga mi je prvotno predložila

I be considered as a young global leader to the World Economic Forum.

kao mladog svjetskog lidera na Svjetskom ekonomskom forumu.

She was familiar with my media engagements and my publications,

Bila je upoznata s mojim medijskim angažmanom i publikacijama

and when she was asked to voice her opinion,

i kad su je pitali za mišljenje,

she highlighted my name.

istaknula je moje ime.

It was a young consultant, a Saudi lady and friend,

Mlada konzultantica, Saudijka i prijateljica

who helped me sell my first project in Saudi Arabia,

mi je pomogla da prodam prvi projekt u Saudijskoj Arabiji,

a market I was finding hard to gain traction in as a woman.

na tržištu na kojem je teško privući pozornost kao žena.

She introduced me to a client,

Predstavila me klijentu

and that introduction led to the first of very many projects for me in Saudi.

i to predstavljanje me dovelo do prvog od mnogih projekata u Saudijskoj Arabiji.

Today, I have two senior women on my team,

Danas imam starije žene u svome timu

and I see making them successful as key to my own success.

i smatram da je njihov uspjeh ključan za moju sreću.

Women continue to advance in the world,

Žene nastavljaju napredovati u svijetu,

not fast enough, but we're moving.

ne dovoljno brzo, ali se pokrećemo.

The Arab world, too, is making progress, despite many recent setbacks.

Arapski svijet također napreduje unatoč mnogim preprekama.

Just this year, the UAE appointed five new female ministers to its cabinet,

Samo ove godine UAE je imenovala pet novih ministrica u kabinetu,

for a total of eight female ministers.

s ukupno osam ministrica.

That's nearly 28 percent of the cabinet,

To je skoro 28 posto kabineta

and more than many developed countries can claim.

i više nego imaju neke razvijene države.

This is today my daughter Alia's favorite picture.

Ovo je danas nadraža slika moje kćeri Alie.

This is the result, no doubt, of great leadership,

To je nesumljivo rezultat velikog vodstva,

but it is also the result of strong Arab women

ali i rezultat snažnih Arapkinja

not giving up and continuously pushing the boundaries.

koje nisu odustajale i stalno su gurale granice.

It is the result of Arab women deciding every day like me

To je rezultat Arapkinja koje svaki dan odlučuju

to convert shit into fuel,

pretvoriti sranje u gorivo,

to work their life to keep work out of their life,

raditi svoj život, držati posao izvan svog života

and to join forces and not compete.

i udružiti snage i ne natjecati se.

As I look to the future,

Kad pogledam u budućnost,

my hopes for my daughter when she stands on this stage

moje nade su da će moja kćer kad bude stajala na ovoj

some 20, 30 years from now

pozornici za 20, 30 godina

are that she be as proud to call herself her mother's daughter

biti ponosna nazivati se kćer svoje majke,

as her father's daughter.

kao i kćer svog oca.

My hopes for my son

Nade za mog sina

are that by then, the expression "her mother's son" or "mama's boy"

su da će izrazi "sin svoje majke" ili "mamin dečko"

would have taken on a completely different meaning.

imati potpuno drugačije značenje.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)