The history of marriage - Alex Gendler

Translator: Hekim Atay Reviewer: Mehmet Sıddık Dilek

There have been many different things

Derbarê zewacê de gelek tişt

written and said about marriage.

hatine nivîsîn û gotin.

ji tiştên xweş

From the sweetly inspirational

to the hilariously cynical.

heta tiştên kenewer û tinaz.

But what many of them have in common

Lê mijara hemûyan ew e ku

is that they sound like they express

hemû rastiyên gerdûnî tînin ziman.

a universal and timeless truth,

when in fact nearly everything about marriage,

Lê derbarê zewacê de her tişt,

from its main purpose

ji armanca bingehîn

to the kinds of relationships it covers

heta têkildariyan û berpirsiyariyên kesan,

to the rights and responsibilities involved,

has varied greatly between different eras,

her dem, cudahiyên civakî û çandî

cultures and social classes.

çêbûne.

So, let's take a quick look at

De em bilez li dîroka zewacê

the evolution of marriage.

binihêrin.

Pair bonding and raising children

Zewicîn û mezinkirina zarokan

is as old as humanity itself.

bi qasî mirovahiyê kevn e.

With the rise of sedentary agricultural societies

Bi civakên çandinî yên bicihbûyî re

about 10,000 years ago,

nêzikî 10,000 sal berê

marriage was also a way

zewac, bi mercên eşkere,

of securing rights to land and property

bi îlankirina zarokan wek miratxur

by designating children born under certain circumstances

ji bo parastina cih û war

as rightful heirs.

bûye rêyek.

As these societies became larger and more complex,

Cîvak mezin û kompleks bûne,

marriage became not just a matter

mijara zewacê ji nava kes û malbatan derketiye

between individuals and families,

but also an official institution

bûye saziyeke fermî,

governed by religious and civil authorities.

milkî û olî.

And it was already well established by 2100 B.C.

Saziya zewacê, qanûnên nivîskî yên herî kevn,

when the earliest surviving written laws

B.Z 2100 lawê Mezopotamyayê Ur-Nammu di makeqanûnê de,

in the Mesopotamian Code of Ur-Nammu

ji bo zewacê, ji zînayê bigirin heta mafê zarokên koleyan

provided many specifics governing marriage,

from punishments for adultery

hatibû îlankirin.

to the legal status of children born to slaves.

Lê berê vê jixwe qanûnên zewacê hebûn.

Many ancient civilizations allowed some form of

Gelek şaristanên kevnar

multiple simultaneous marriage.

îzna zewacên pirhejmar dida.

And even today, less than a quarter of the world's

Îro jî di nav sedan çandan de,

hundreds of different cultures prohibit it.

%25 jê, vê yekê qedexe dikin.

But just because something was allowed

Lê dayîna îznê

doesn't mean it was always possible.

wê herdem mimkûn nake.

Demographic realities,

Rastiyên demografîk

as well as the link between marriage and wealth,

û eleqeya zewac û milk,

meant that even though rulers and elites

dide ber çavan ku,

in Ancient Mesopotamia,

Li Mezopotamyayê

Egypt and Israel

li Misr ve Israîlê

had multiple concubines or wives,

yên dewlemend xwedî gelek cariye û jinan dibûn,

most commoners could only afford one or two

Lê mirovên din li gor qeweta xwe û

tending towards monogamy in practice.

bi jinekê re dijiyan.

In other places, the tables were turned,

Cihên din, ne wiha bû,

and a woman could have multiple husbands

jinek dibû xwedî gelek mêran.

as in the Himalayan Mountains

Li Çiyayên Hîmalayan

where all brothers in a family

mêrên malbatekê

marrying the same woman

bi eynî jinê re dizewicîn ku

kept the small amount of fertile land

warên wan yên hindik

from being constantly divided into new households.

di nava malbatên nû de parçe nebe.

Marriages could vary

Zewac ne tenê bihejmarê

not only in the number of people they involved

bi cureyên mirovan jî diguherî.

but the types of people as well.

Ji bo vê, nav û qanûn

Although the names and laws for such arrangements

cihê bibin jî,

may have differed,

di nava şaristanan de, jin û mêrên hevpar

publicly recognized same-sex unions

di dîrokê de,

have popped up

in various civilizations throughout history.

pêk hatine.

Mesopotamian prayers included blessings for such couples,

Zewac di Diayên Mezopotamyayê de, pîroz e.

while Native American Two-Spirit individuals

Niştecihê Amerikî,

had relationships with both sexes.

têkildarê bi her du zayendan e jî.

The first instances of such arrangements

yên ku navê "zewac"ê daye

actually being called "Marriage"

cara pêşî

come from Rome,

Li Romayê bûye.

where the Emperors Nero and Elagabalus

Împarator Nero û Împarator Elagabalus

both married men in public ceremonies

bi dîlanan bi mêran re zewicîne.

with the practice being explictly banned

ev tişt B.Z di 342yan de

in 342 A.D.

hatiye qedexekirin.

But similar traditions survived

Lê çandên wek vê,

well into the Christian era,

di serdema Xiristiyanî de jî çêbûne

such as Adelphopoiesis,

Wek Adelphopoîesîs

or "brother-making" in Orthodox churches,

an jî wek di dêrên Ortodoks de "birabûn"

and even an actual marriage between two men

û di 1601î de li Îspanyayê cihekî biçûk

recorded in 1061 at a small chapel in Spain.

qeyda zewaca du mêran hatiye girtin.

Nor was marriage even necessarily

Zewac ne hewce ye ku,

between two living people.

di navbera candaran de be jî.

Ghost marriages,

Zewacên şevreşkan,

where either the bride or groom were deceased,

bi bûkek an zavayekî mirî re

were conducted in China

li Çînê ji bo dewama silalê

to continue family lineages

an jî ji bo giyanên aciz

or appease restless spirits.

kêfxweş bibin, pêk hatiye.

And some tribes in Sudan maintain similar practices.

Li Sudanê jî kirinên wek vê hebûn.

Despite all these differences,

Ligel van hemû cudatiyan,

a lot of marriages throughout history

gelek zewac

did have one thing in common.

li ser tiştekî dibû;

With crucial matters

Dema mijar dibû milkiyet û zêdebûn,

like property and reproduction at stake,

they were way too important

evînên ciwanî

ne girîng dibûn.

to depend on young love.

Bi taybetî jî zewacên giregiran

Especially among the upperclasses,

matches were often made by families or rulers.

gelek caran bi hêla rêveberan pek dihat.

But even for commoners, who had some degree of choice,

Mirovên ji rêzê jî xwedî mafê bijartinê bûn,

the main concern was practicality.

lê endîşe meşîna zewacê bû.

The modern idea of marriage

Ramana zewaca nûjen

as being mainly about love and companionship

Ramana evîn û hevaltiyê,

only emerged in the last couple of centuries.

Ev çend sed sal in çêbûye.

With industrialization,

Pêşesazîbûn,

urbanization

Bajarbûyîn

and the growth of the middle class

û bi mezinbûna pola navîn re

more people became independent

Gelek mirov ji malbatên mezin qetiyan

from large extended families

Rizgar bûn

and were able to support

û êdî dikaribûn

a new household on their own.

debara xwe pêk bînin.

Encouraged by new ideas

Mirovên ku,

from the Enlightenment,

Ji ronakbîrbûnê wêr hildan,

people began to focus

on individual happiness and pursuits,

ji erkên malbatê û ji statûyê

dûr ketin,

rather than familial duty or wealth and status,

qet nebe, li dilşadiya xwe

at least some of the time.

fikirîn.

And this focus on individual happiness

Ev dilşadiya kesane,

soon led to other transformations,

rê da guherînên nû,

such as easing restrictions on divorce

wek hêsanbûna hevberdanê,

and more people marrying at a later age.

û zewaca temenê mezin.

So, as we continue to debate the role and definition

Bi kurtî, heke em li ser "li dinyaya nûjen rola zewacê çi ye"

of marriage in the modern world,

it might help to keep in mind

bisekinin, bizanin ku zewac,

that marriage has always been shaped by society,

her dem ji hêla civatê ve şikl hildaye,

and as a society's

şiklê civatê,

structure, values and goals

nirx û armancên wê,

change over time,

bi demê re diguhere,

its ideas of marriage will continue to change along with them.

Zewac bi nêrînên civatê re dê tim biguhere.