How I hacked online dating | Amy Webb

譯者: Willy Feng 審譯者: Kuo-Hsien Chiang

So my name is Amy Webb,

我的名字是艾咪韋伯

and a few years ago I found myself at the end

幾年前，我發現自己再次走到

of yet another fantastic relationship

另一段美好戀情的盡頭

that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.

當然最終也壯烈的結束了

接著我想：「我是怎麼了？」

And I thought, what's wrong with me?

I don't understand why this keeps happening.

為什麼每段感情總以失敗告終

So I asked everybody in my life what they thought.

所以我問了我身邊的人

聽聽他們的想法

I turned to my grandmother, who always had plenty of advice,

我問了我祖母

她總是有一堆建議

and she said, "Stop being so picky.

她回答我：「不要這麼挑剔！

You've got to date around.

妳得出去約會

And most importantly,

最重要的是

true love will find you when you least expect it."

真愛總是在不經意時出現」

Now as it turns out,

事實上

I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data,

我是個非常相信根據的人

as you'll soon find.

我想你很快就會發現這點

I am constantly swimming in numbers, formulas and charts.

我的生活跟數字、公式

還有圖表脫不了關係

我有一個非常棒的家庭

I also have a very tight-knit family,

and I'm very, very close with my sister,

我和我的姐姐十分親密

and as a result, I wanted to have the same type of family when I grew up.

因此，我夢想著能擁有一個

像我家一樣美好的家庭

So I'm at the end of this bad breakup,

所以我最終是慘烈地分手了

I'm 30 years old,

我現在三十歲

I figure I'm probably going to have to date somebody for about six months

我認為至少要交往六個月

才能夠確定這個人

before I'm ready to get monogamous

是你未來的伴侶

and before we can sort of cohabitate,

開始同居生活前也需要一點時間

and we have to do that for a while before we can get engaged.

同居過一陣子後，才是訂婚

And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35,

假設我想在35歲時生小孩

that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage

代表我必須在

五年前開始計劃結婚

five years ago.

So that wasn't going to work.

很明顯地，這行不通

If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love,

如果找到真愛的方法是減少期待

那唯一的變數

then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity.

就是看緣份了

In short, I was trying to figure out

簡單來說，我想搞清楚

我找到真命天子的機率有多少？

what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right?

Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia,

我住在費城的時候

它是個大城市，而且我發現

and it's a big city, and I figured,

in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities.

在這個地方充滿了機會

So again, I started doing some math.

所以，我又算了一下

Population of Philadelphia: it has 1.5 million people.

費城的人口是150萬人

I figure about half of that are men,

我推估半數是男性

因此男性至少有75萬名

so that takes the number down to 750,000.

I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36,

我的目標是30到36歲之間的男性

which was only four percent of the population,

大概只佔了百分之四

so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men.

所以只剩下3萬人

I was looking for somebody who was Jewish,

我想要找猶太人

因為我自己就是，而且這對我很重要

because I am and that was important to me.

That's only 2.3 percent of the population.

但他們只佔人口的百分之2.3

I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men,

我假設這之中有1/10的人

會喜歡我

and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.

不過我跟打高爾夫的

完全合不來

So that basically meant there were 35 men for me

意思就是說只剩35個人

that I could possibly date

可能成為我約會的對象

in the entire city of Philadelphia.

在整個費城！

In the meantime, my very large Jewish family

同時，在我的猶太大家族中

was already all married and well on their way

所有人都已經結婚

to having lots and lots of children,

準備生很多很多小孩

and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure

這更讓我感覺到

to get my life going already.

必須快點成家的壓力

So I have two possible strategies at this point

所以對此我有

I'm sort of figuring out.

兩個對策

一、聽我祖母的話

One, I can take my grandmother's advice

and sort of least-expect my way

不要抱太大期待

into maybe bumping into the one out of 35 possible men

以為能在費城150萬人口中

與那35個人

in the entire 1.5-million-person city of Philadelphia,

在路上巧遇

or I could try online dating.

又或者試試網路交友

Now, I like the idea of online dating,

現在我比較喜歡網路交友這個方法

because it's predicated on an algorithm,

因為這可以用算式算出來

and that's really just a simple way of saying

這很非常地簡單

I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data,

當你遇到問題，只要運用一些數據

run it through a system and get to a solution.

透過系統的計算

最後得到解決方法

So online dating is the second most popular way

所以網路交友成了現代人找對象時

that people now meet each other,

第二受歡迎的方法

but as it turns out, algorithms have been around

但是計算的方法

for thousands of years in almost every culture.

在每個文化中其實已經存在好幾千年了

In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers a long time ago,

事實上，猶太教從很久以前開始

就有媒人了

and though they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se,

雖然沒有明確的公式

they definitely were running through formulas in their heads,

他們一定也在腦裡計算過

像是，那女孩會喜歡那男孩嗎？

like, is the girl going to like the boy?

他們的家人會處得來嗎？

Are the families going to get along?

What's the rabbi going to say?

拉比會怎麼想? (註: 拉比 是猶太人生活宗教上的老師)

他們會不會很快就有孩子?

Are they going to start having children right away?

The matchmaker would sort of think through all of this,

媒人通常會在腦中想過這些問題後

put two people together, and that would be the end of it.

把兩人湊成一對

我猜想，像我的情形

So in my case, I thought,

well, will data and an algorithm lead me to my Prince Charming?

數據和算式真能夠幫我找到

我的白馬王子嗎？

So I decided to sign on.

我決定註冊網路交友

Now, there was one small catch.

這裡有一個小小的插曲

As I'm signing on to the various dating websites,

當我在一堆交友網站註冊後

as it happens, I was really, really busy.

想當然，我變得相當忙

But that actually wasn't the biggest problem.

但這還不是最大的問題

The biggest problem is that I hate filling out questionnaires of any kind,

最困擾我的是

我痛恨填問卷

and I certainly don't like questionnaires that are like Cosmo quizzes.

更不要說那些問卷根本

就像是心理測驗

So I just copied and pasted from my résumé.

因此我就直接從履歷複製貼上

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So in the descriptive part up top,

在最上方的自我描述那一欄

I said that I was an award-winning journalist

我填上我是個得過獎的記者

and a future thinker.

和未來思想家

When I was asked about fun activities and my ideal date,

當它問到我的興趣和理想的對象

我回答賺錢

I said monetization and fluency in Japanese.

和流利的日文

I talked a lot about JavaScript.

我寫了許多有關程式語言的事

(Laughter)

但這似乎不是展現自己最好一面的

So obviously this was not the best way to put my most sexy foot forward.

的好方法

But the real failure was that there were plenty of men for me to date.

但最糟的是

那裡有一堆可以跟我約會的男人

These algorithms had a sea full of men

這些運算法則提供了一堆

that wanted to take me out on lots of dates --

要約我出去的男人

what turned out to be truly awful dates.

雖然那些約會的結果都不太好

There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy.

有一位叫史帝夫的男人，是位科技人

The algorithm matched us up because we share a love of gadgets,

運算法則把我們湊成一對

因為我們都喜歡小玩意

we share a love of math and data and '80s music,

還有數學和80年代的音樂

and so I agreed to go out with him.

所以我也同意跟他出去

So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out

史帝夫這位科技人約我去

to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth,

費城一家的高檔餐廳

extremely expensive restaurants.

那裡消費非常昂貴

And we went in, and right off the bat,

我們到了以後

our conversation really wasn't taking flight,

並沒有講到什麼話

but he was ordering a lot of food.

他只是點了很多食物

In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu.

事實上他連餐單都沒瞄過一眼

點了一堆開胃菜

He was ordering multiple appetizers, multiple entrées, for me as well,

一堆主菜，當然也替我點了

and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table,

突然之間，桌上擺滿了食物

和一瓶又一瓶的酒

also lots and lots of bottles of wine.

So we're nearing the end of our conversation

在我們快要沒話講

and the end of dinner, and I've decided

也快吃完飯時，我默默想

我們兩個並不適合彼此

Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other,

但我們不會分開的太難看

but we'll part ways as friends,

when he gets up to go to the bathroom,

他去廁所的時候

and in the meantime, the bill comes to our table.

服務生將賬單送到桌上

聽好了，我是個現代女性

And listen, I'm a modern woman.

I am totally down with splitting the bill.

當然可以接受各付各的

But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back.

但是史帝夫那位科技人沒有回來

(Gasping)

And that was my entire month's rent.

那足足是我整個月的房租

(Audience gasps)

So needless to say, I was not having a good night.

不用說，那不是個美好的晚餐

So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister,

所以我跑回家，打給我媽媽和姐姐

and as I do, at the end of each one of these terrible, terrible dates,

就像每次經歷過一場

糟糕的約會後一樣

I regale them with the details.

告訴她們所有細節

And they say to me,

她們告訴我

"Stop complaining."

「不要再抱怨了!」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"You're just being too picky."

「妳就是太挑剔了!」

So I said, fine, from here on out I'm only going on dates

所以我決定從此之後

我只去我知道的地方約會

where I know there's Wi-Fi, and I'm bringing my laptop.

要有無線網路，我還要帶著筆電

我會把它塞進我的包包

I'm going to shove it into my bag,

I'm going to have this email template,

我會用這個電子郵件範本

and I'm going to fill it out and collect information

填上空格，收集些資料

這樣我就能透過這些資料

on all these different data points during the date

to prove to everybody that empirically,

以親身經歷向大家證明

these dates really are terrible.

這些約會有多糟 (笑聲)

(Laughter)

我開始注意那些

So I started tracking things like really stupid, awkward, sexual remarks;

笨拙、尷尬、帶有性意味的言論

bad vocabulary;

不當用詞

the number of times a man forced me to high-five him.

逼我和他擊掌的次數

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So I started to crunch some numbers,

我開始統計這些數字

接著我發現了一些關聯性

and that allowed me to make some correlations.

So as it turns out,

例如說

for some reason, men who drink Scotch reference kinky sex immediately.

不知道為什麼 喝蘇格蘭威士忌的男人

總令我聯想到性變態

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Well, it turns out that these probably weren't bad guys.

當然這不代表

他們真的是壞人

There were just bad for me.

他們只是不適合我

And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up,

將我們湊在一起的交友網站

they weren't bad either.

也沒有錯

These algorithms were doing exactly what they were designed to do,

它們只是照著

一定的公式運作而已

蒐集使用者的基本資料

which was to take our user-generated information,

in my case, my résumé,

像是我的履歷表

and match it up with other people's information.

和其他人的資料做配對

See, the real problem here is that,

所以真正的問題是

運算法則可以正常運作

while the algorithms work just fine,

you and I don't,

我們卻作不到

when confronted with blank windows

當面對需要填入

where we're supposed to input our information online.

個人資料的空白視窗時

Very few of us have the ability

我們之中只有極少數的人

to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves.

能夠全然地坦白面對

The other problem is that these websites are asking us

另一個問題是，交友網站總是問一些問題

questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person?

像是，你喜歡狗還是貓？

Do you like horror films or romance films?

你喜歡恐怖片還是愛情片？

I'm not looking for a pen pal.

我又不是要找筆友

I'm looking for a husband. Right?

我是要找老公，不是嗎？

So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data.

那裡頭淨是一些膚淺的資料

So I said fine, I've got a new plan.

我想說好吧，我有一個新的計劃

I'm going to keep using these online dating sites,

我會繼續用這些交友網站

but I'm going to treat them as databases,

但僅僅是把它當成資料庫

另外，比起讓系統替我配對

and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up,

I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.

我決定反向操作這整個系統

So knowing that there was superficial data

因為在知道它僅靠一些膚淺問題

that was being used to match me up with other people,

幫我找尋適合的對象之後

I decided instead to ask my own questions.

我決定自己提出自己的問題

What was every single possible thing

在我找另一半時

會想到哪些條件呢？

that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?

So I started writing

我開始不停地寫

and writing and writing,

and at the end, I had amassed 72 different data points.

最後，我累積了

72個不同的條件

I wanted somebody was Jew-ish,

我想找猶太人

so I was looking for somebody

找一個跟我有相同背景

who had the same background and thoughts on our culture,

相同文化觀的人

but wasn't going to force me to go to shul every Friday and Saturday.

但前提是每週五、週六

他不會逼我去猶太教會

I wanted somebody who worked hard,

我想找認真工作的人

because work for me is extremely important,

因為工作對我來說相當重要

but not too hard.

不過也不能太過火

對我而言，我的嗜好就只是

For me, the hobbies that I have

are really just new work projects that I've launched.

手頭上正在進行的工作

I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children,

我想找個打算生兩個小孩

but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do,

教養觀念和我一樣的人

so somebody who was going to be totally okay

一個不反對我們的小孩

with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three,

三歲開始學鋼琴

如果可能的話

and also maybe computer science classes if we could wrangle it.

還要上電腦課

So things like that, but I also wanted somebody

像是這些問題，還有最好是個

who would go to far-flung, exotic places, like Petra, Jordan.

見多識廣的人，旅行過特別的地方

像是佩特拉、約旦

還有，無論何時

I also wanted somebody who would weigh 20 pounds more than me at all times,

無論我多重

regardless of what I weighed.

他都必須比我重個20磅

(笑聲)

(Laughter)

So I now have these 72 different data points,

現在，我有72個條件

which, to be fair, is a lot.

老實說，實在很多

So what I did was, I went through and I prioritized that list.

我看了看那張清單

排出優先順序

I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points,

我把整份清單分為兩部分

and I ranked everything starting at 100

我將每樣條件從100分開始打分數

and going all the way down to 91,

最低91分

and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart,

並且寫下具體條件，像是聰明

能夠挑戰和激勵我

who would challenge and stimulate me,

跟第二部分的條件

and balancing that with a second tier and a second set of points.

做平衡

These things were also important to me but not necessarily deal-breakers.

這些條件對我而言當然也很重要

但是並沒有那麼絕對

(Laughter)

So once I had all this done, I then built a scoring system,

在我完成之後

我建立了一個記分系統

because what I wanted to do was to sort of mathematically calculate

因為我想做的

就像是數學計算

whether or not I thought the guy that I found online

計算出我在網路上找到的這個男人

would be a match with me.

是不是適合我

I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points

根據我的記分系統，要達到700分

before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message.

我才會寫電子郵件給對方

或是回信

For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date,

900分代表可以跟他出去

但是不到1,500分的話

and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship

before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold.

我就不會考慮開始一段關係

Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well.

這方法非常的成功

So I go back online now.

因此，我從新回到網路世界

I found Jewishdoc57

我找到Jewishdoc57

who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken,

他長的很帥，很會說話

he had hiked Mt. Fuji,

他爬過富士山

he had walked along the Great Wall.

走過長城

He likes to travel

只要不是搭郵輪，他喜歡旅遊

as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship.

我心想，我做到了!

And I thought,

I've done it!

I've cracked the code.

我破解了

I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming

我找到我夢想中美滿家庭

of my family's dreams.

的猶太王子

There was only one problem:

只有一個問題

他並不喜歡我

He didn't like me back.

And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered

我想我忘了還有一個變數

is the competition.

競爭

Who are all of the other women on these dating sites?

在這些交友網站上的其他女人

她們是誰?

I found SmileyGirl1978.

我找到SmileyGirl1978

She said she was a "Fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing."

她表示自己是個風趣外向的女孩

She listed her job as "teacher."

她的工作欄寫著老師

She said she is "silly, nice and friendly."

她說自己傻傻的、親切好相處

She likes to make people laugh "alot."

喜歡逗人笑

At this moment I knew,

這瞬間，我懂了

clicking profile after profile that looked like this,

看了一個又一個類似這樣的資料後

that I needed to do some market research.

我想我必須做些市場調查

因此我註冊了10個假的男性帳號

So I created 10 fake male profiles.

Now, before I lose all of you --

在你們準備要唾棄我之前

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

我必須澄清我這樣做

understand that I did this strictly to gather data

純粹只是為了蒐集

about everybody else in the system.

這個系統裡其他人的資料

I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody.

我沒有戲弄任何人

I really was just scraping their data.

我真的只是蒐集資料

But I didn't want everybody's data.

不過我並不需要所有人的

I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted

我只需要那些

會喜歡上

to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry.

我想嫁的男人的那些女人 (笑聲)

When I released these men into the wild,

我剛開始用這些假帳號時

I did follow some rules.

我遵守了一些規則

So I didn't reach out to any woman first.

所以一開始，我沒和任何女人主動聯繫

I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract,

我想看這些假帳號能吸引到什麼樣的人

and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets.

我將它分為兩組數據組

So I was looking at qualitative data,

我觀察特性類的數據

so what was the humor, the tone,

找出這些女人在幽默感、語調

the voice, the communication style

聲音和溝通方式方面

that these women shared in common?

有哪些共同點

And also quantitative data,

另外那些量化的數據

so what was the average length of their profile,

像是個人檔案的平均長度

how much time was spent between messages?

傳訊息時花了多少時間

我想知道的是

What I was trying to get at here was that I figured, in person,

假使我也這麼做了

I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl1978.

我就會跟SmileyGirl1978

一樣受歡迎

I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online.

我想試著將我的個人檔案

發揮最大效益

Well, one month later,

一個月後

I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.

我蒐集到許多數據作分析

And as it turns out, content matters a lot.

結果是，內容很重要

So smart people tend to write a lot --

聰明的人通常都寫很長

三四千字

3,000, 4,000, 5,000 words about themselves,

甚至5千字

which may all be very, very interesting.

而且內容十分有趣

The challenge here, though, is that the popular men and women

困難點在

這些受歡迎的男人和女人

are sticking to 97 words on average

平均都只打97個字

that are written very, very well,

當然也寫得很好

even though it may not seem like it all the time.

雖然有些看起來像假的

The other hallmark of the people who do this well

另一個特點是

is that they're using non-specific language.

他們絕不會寫的很具體

以我的例子來說

So in my case,

"The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever,

我最喜歡的電影是「英倫情人」

but it doesn't work to use that in a profile,

但我絕不能將它寫在我的資料上

because that's a superficial data point,

因為那樣會太具體了

有人可能因為不喜歡那部電影

and somebody may disagree

and decide they don't want to go out

就拒絕跟我出去

因為他們對坐三個小時看一部電影沒興趣

because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.

另外，正面的字眼非常重要

Also, optimistic language matters a lot.

這是文字雲

So this is a word cloud

highlighting the most popular words that were used

顯示出那些受歡迎的女人

by the most popular women,

常用的字

words like "fun" and "girl" and "love."

像是"有趣"、"女孩"、"愛"

And what I realized was not that I had to dumb down my own profile.

然而我意識到的

並不是降低我個人檔案的水準

Remember, I'm somebody who said

還記得嗎，我說過我是

that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript

能說一口流利日文和懂得程式語言的人

and I was okay with that.

我覺得這很好啊

The difference is that it's about being more approachable

重點是要讓自己變得容易親近些

and helping people understand the best way to reach out to you.

使其他人了解

如何與你接觸

And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.

時間點也相當重要

你有了某人的電話號碼

Just because you have access to somebody's mobile phone number

又或者是

or their instant message account

他們的即時通訊軟體帳號

and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake,

即時你清晨2點還醒着

也不應該在這個時間跟那些人聯絡

doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people.

交友網站上這些受歡迎的女人

The popular women on these online sites

spend an average of 23 hours in between each communication.

花在交談上的時間

每段平均約23小時

And that's what we would normally do in the usual process of courtship.

通常我們追求某人的時候

也都是這樣的

And finally --

最後是照片

there were the photos.

受歡迎的女人

All of the women who were popular showed some skin.

每個都會露些肉

They all looked really great,

她們看起來都很美

which turned out to be in sharp contrast

和我上傳的照片就形成

to what I had uploaded.

極大的對比

(Laughter)

Once I had all of this information,

當我擁有了這些資訊之後

I was able to create a super profile,

我就能作出一個「超級檔案」

so it was still me,

這還是我

but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem.

但這是在這個生態圈下最佳化後的我

And as it turns out, I did a really good job.

結果顯示，我成功了

I was the most popular person online.

我是網路上最有名的人

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me.

有數不清的男人想約我出去

So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother.

所以我打電話給我媽、我姐姐還有祖母

我告訴她們這個好消息

I'm telling them about this fabulous news,

她們說：「這真是太棒了!」

and they say, "This is wonderful! How soon are you going out?"

「妳什麼時候要去約會？」

I said, "Actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody."

我回答：「事實上，我不會跟任何人出去」

Because remember, in my scoring system,

記得嗎？在我的記分系統

they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points,

他們至少要拿到700分

and none of them have done that.

但沒有一個人達到這個標準

They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."

她們說：「什麼？妳怎麼還是這麼挑剔」

Well, not too long after that, I found this guy, Thevenin,

但在不久之後

我遇見了戴維寧

and he said that he was culturally Jewish,

他說他文化上屬於猶太文化

他說他的工作是北極小海豹獵人

he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter,

我覺得很妙

which I thought was very clever.

He talked in detail about travel.

他寫了很多關於旅行的事

He made a lot of really interesting cultural references.

舉了許多有趣的文化差異的例子

He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted,

他的長相和說話的方式都是我喜歡的型

and immediately, he scored 850 points.

當然，他馬上就得了850分

It was enough for a date.

850分已經足夠出去約會

Three weeks later, we met up in person

三個禮拜之後，我們見面了

for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation

我們聊了14個小時

從咖啡廳到餐廳

that went from coffee shop to restaurant

to another coffee shop to another restaurant,

又從另一家咖啡廳到另一間餐廳

and when he dropped me back off at my house that night

當他送我回家時

I re-scored him --

我重新為他打了分數

「1050分!」

[1,050 points!]

Thought, you know what,

你知道嗎？

this entire time, I haven't been picky enough.

這次我一點都不挑剔

Well, a year and a half after that,

一年半後

we were non-cruise ship traveling

我們去了佩特拉、約旦

through Petra, Jordan,

當然，不是搭郵輪

when he got down on his knee and proposed.

當時他跪下，向我求婚

A year after that, we were married,

一年後，我們結婚了

and about a year and a half after that,

那之後一年半，我們的女兒佩特拉

our daughter, Petra, was born.

出生了

Audience: Oh!

(掌聲)

(Applause)

[What it means...]

Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --

顯然，我現在過著很幸福的生活，所以...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The question is, what does all of this mean for you?

問題是，這些對你而言是什麼?

Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love.

這是一個為愛訂做的運算法則

It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online.

這不只是我們在網路上看起來的樣子

In fact, it's something that you write yourself.

是你怎麼形容你自己

所以，無論你是在找另一半

So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife

or you're trying to find your passion

找尋你的熱情

or you're trying to start a business,

或是嘗試創業

你需要做的是找出你自己的原則

all you have to really do is figure out your own framework

and play by your own rules,

照你的規則來

and feel free to be as picky as you want.

愛怎麼挑剔就怎麼挑剔

Well, on my wedding day,

我結婚那天

I had a conversation again with my grandmother,

我跟我的祖母談了一下

她說：「好吧，我也許是錯的」

and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong.

It looks like you did come up with a really, really great system.

「看來妳真的發明出

一個非常好的系統」

Now, your matzah balls ...

「不過妳的瑪索球 (註：猶太丸子)

口感應該是鬆軟的，不應該是硬的」

They should be fluffy, not hard."

(Laughter)

這次我會聽她的話了

And I'll take her advice on that.

(Applause)

(掌聲)