How I hacked online dating | Amy Webb

Prevoditelj: Maja Covic Recezent: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG

So my name is Amy Webb,

Dakle, moje ime je Amy Webb,

and a few years ago I found myself at the end

i prije nekoliko godina sam se našla na kraju

of yet another fantastic relationship

još jedne fantastične veze

that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.

koja se raspala na spektakularan način.

I pitala sam se, znate, što nije u redu sa mnom?

And I thought, what's wrong with me?

I don't understand why this keeps happening.

Ne razumijem zašto mi se to stalno događa.

So I asked everybody in my life what they thought.

Tako da sam pitala sve ljude koje znam,

što o tome misle?

I turned to my grandmother, who always had plenty of advice,

Obratila sam se baki,

koja je uvijek imala savjeta napretek,

and she said, "Stop being so picky.

i rekla mi je: "Nemoj biti tako izbirljiva.

You've got to date around.

Trebaš ići na spojeve.

And most importantly,

I ono najvažnije,

true love will find you when you least expect it."

prava ljubav naći će te kad ćeš joj se najmanje nadati."

Now as it turns out,

Međutim, ispada kako

I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data,

sam ja osoba koja puno razmišlja o podatcima,

as you'll soon find.

što ćete ubrzo i sami vidjeti.

I am constantly swimming in numbers, formulas and charts.

Neprestano plivam u brojkama,

formulama i grafikonima.

Osim toga, imam jako povezanu obitelj

I also have a very tight-knit family,

and I'm very, very close with my sister,

i vrlo sam bliska sa svojom sestrom.

and as a result, I wanted to have the same type of family when I grew up.

Kao rezultat svega toga, htjela sam imati

istu takvu obitelj kada odrastem.

So I'm at the end of this bad breakup,

I tako, na kraju sam tog gadnog prekida,

I'm 30 years old,

imam 30 godina,

I figure I'm probably going to have to date somebody for about six months

i shvatim kako ću vjerojatno trebati

hodati s nekim oko šest mjeseci

before I'm ready to get monogamous

prije nego budem bila spremna za monogamnu vezu

and before we can sort of cohabitate,

i prije no što počnemo živjeti zajedno,

and we have to do that for a while before we can get engaged.

i da će to trebati trajati neko vrijeme prije nego se zaručimo.

And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35,

I ako želim rađati djecu do 35. godine,

that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage

to je značilo da sam trebala već

prije pet godina biti na svom putu prema braku.

five years ago.

So that wasn't going to work.

Tako da taj plan neće upaliti.

If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love,

Ako je moja strategija bila ta da se najmanje nadam

pravoj ljubavi, onda je varijabla kojom bih se bavila

then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity.

bila - slučajno otkriće.

In short, I was trying to figure out

Ukratko, trudila sam se shvatiti

koja je vjerojatnost da pronađem gospodina Pravoga?

what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right?

Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia,

U to vrijeme sam živjela u Philadelphiji,

koja je veliki grad, i smatrala sam

and it's a big city, and I figured,

in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities.

da tamo ima mnogo mogućnosti.

So again, I started doing some math.

Tako da sam ponovo počela računati.

Population of Philadelphia: it has 1.5 million people.

Populacija Philadelpije je 1,5 milijuna ljudi.

I figure about half of that are men,

Pretpostavila sam da su polovica od toga muškarci,

tako da se broj smanjuje na 750.000.

so that takes the number down to 750,000.

I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36,

Tražila sam tipa koji ima između 30 i 36 godina,

which was only four percent of the population,

što je bilo samo četiri posto populacije,

so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men.

tako da sam sada baratala s mogućnošću od 30.000 muškaraca.

I was looking for somebody who was Jewish,

Tražila sam nekoga tko je Židov,

jer sam i sama Židovka i to mi je bilo bitno.

because I am and that was important to me.

That's only 2.3 percent of the population.

To je bilo samo 2,3 posto populacije.

I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men,

Pretpostavljala sam da će me privući jedan od desetorice

tih muškaraca,

and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.

i nije bilo šanse da ću se spetljati

s nekime tko je entuzijastičan golfer.

So that basically meant there were 35 men for me

To je u osnovi značilo kako za mene postoje 35 muškaraca

that I could possibly date

s kojima sam mogla otići na spoj

in the entire city of Philadelphia.

u cijeloj Philadelphiji.

In the meantime, my very large Jewish family

U međuvremenu, moja velika židovska obitelj

was already all married and well on their way

sva je već bila poudavana i oženjena te na dobrom putu

to having lots and lots of children,

da dobiju mnogo djece.

and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure

Imala sam osjećaj da sam pod ogromnim pritiskom vršnjaka

to get my life going already.

da se konačno pokrenem.

So I have two possible strategies at this point

Tako da sam u tom trenu imala dvije moguće strategije,

I'm sort of figuring out.

malo sam razmišljala.

Prvo, mogu poslušati bakin savjet

One, I can take my grandmother's advice

and sort of least-expect my way

i najmanje se nadati

into maybe bumping into the one out of 35 possible men

da ću sresti jednog

od 35 mogućih muškaraca u cijeloj

in the entire 1.5-million-person city of Philadelphia,

1,5 milijunskoj Philadelphiji,

or I could try online dating.

ili bih mogla pokušati pronaći partnera preko interneta.

Now, I like the idea of online dating,

Sviđa mi se ideja online datinga,

because it's predicated on an algorithm,

jer se temelji na algoritmu,

and that's really just a simple way of saying

što bi drugim riječima značilo

I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data,

da imam problem, uzeti ću neke podatke,

run it through a system and get to a solution.

unijeti ih u sustav

i dobiti rješenje.

So online dating is the second most popular way

Online dating je drugi najpopularniji način

that people now meet each other,

upoznavanja ljudi,

but as it turns out, algorithms have been around

no kako se ispostavilo, algoritmi postoje

for thousands of years in almost every culture.

već tisućama godina u gotovo svakoj kulturi.

In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers a long time ago,

Zapravo, u judaizmu postoje brakovesci

već odavno, i iako

and though they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se,

nisu imali neki iznimno jasan algoritam,

they definitely were running through formulas in their heads,

sigurno su imali razne formule u glavi,

poput - hoće li se djevojci svidjeti mladić?

like, is the girl going to like the boy?

Hoće li se dvije obitelji dobro slagati?

Are the families going to get along?

What's the rabbi going to say?

Što će na to reći rabin?

Hoće li odmah početi raditi na djeci?

Are they going to start having children right away?

The matchmaker would sort of think through all of this,

I brakovezac bi razmišljao o svemu ovome,

put two people together, and that would be the end of it.

spojio bi dvoje ljudi i to bi bilo to.

Tako da sam se u svom slučaju pitala

So in my case, I thought,

well, will data and an algorithm lead me to my Prince Charming?

hoće li me podaci i algoritam

dovesti do mog princa na bijelom konju?

So I decided to sign on.

Zato sam se odlučila priključiti.

Now, there was one small catch.

No, postojala je mala caka.

As I'm signing on to the various dating websites,

Dok sam se priključivala raznim internetskim stranicama za veze,

as it happens, I was really, really busy.

ispostavilo se da sam vrlo, vrlo zaposlena.

But that actually wasn't the biggest problem.

No to nije bio ni najveći problem.

The biggest problem is that I hate filling out questionnaires of any kind,

Najveći je problem bio što mrzim

ispunjavati bilo kakve upitnike,

and I certainly don't like questionnaires that are like Cosmo quizzes.

a najmanje volim upitnike

poput kvizova u časopisu Cosmopolitan.

So I just copied and pasted from my résumé.

Tako da sam samo copy-pastala svoj životopis.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So in the descriptive part up top,

U dijelu gdje se trebam opisati,

I said that I was an award-winning journalist

rekla sam kako sam nagrađivana novinarka

and a future thinker.

i vizionarka.

When I was asked about fun activities and my ideal date,

Kada sam trebala navesti kojim se zabavnim aktivnostima bavim

i svog idealnog partnera, navela sam monetizaciju

I said monetization and fluency in Japanese.

i tečnost u japanskom jeziku.

I talked a lot about JavaScript.

Puno sam govorila o JavaScriptu.

(Laughter)

Očigledno, to nije bio najbolji način

So obviously this was not the best way to put my most sexy foot forward.

da prikažem svoju zavodljivu stranu.

But the real failure was that there were plenty of men for me to date.

No, najveći neuspjeh je bio to

što je bilo jako puno muškaraca s kojima sam mogla na spoj.

These algorithms had a sea full of men

Ti algoritmi uključivali su more muškaraca

that wanted to take me out on lots of dates --

koji su me htjeli izvesti na puno spojeva --

what turned out to be truly awful dates.

koji su se ispostavili kao očajni spojevi.

There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy.

Bio je jedan informatičar, Steve.

The algorithm matched us up because we share a love of gadgets,

Algoritam nas je spojio

jer nas oboje zanimaju gadgeti,

we share a love of math and data and '80s music,

matematika, podaci i glazba iz 80ih,

and so I agreed to go out with him.

i zato sam pristala izaći van s njim.

So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out

Steve, informatičar, pozvao me na spoj

to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth,

u jedan jako skupi philadelphijski restoran,

extremely expensive restaurants.

s bijelim stolnjacima.

And we went in, and right off the bat,

Ušli smo unutra, i od samog početka,

our conversation really wasn't taking flight,

naš razgovor nije išao nikuda,

but he was ordering a lot of food.

no on je naručivao puno hrane.

In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu.

Zapravo, nije niti pogledao jelovnik.

Naručivao je brojna predjela,

He was ordering multiple appetizers, multiple entrées, for me as well,

brojna glavna jela, za mene također,

and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table,

i odjednom je na našem stolu bilo brdo hrane,

i jako puno boca vina.

also lots and lots of bottles of wine.

So we're nearing the end of our conversation

Približavali smo se kraju našeg razgovora

and the end of dinner, and I've decided

i večere, i shvatila sam da

Steve, informatičar, i ja nismo suđeni jedno drugome

Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other,

no da ćemo se rastati kao prijatelji,

but we'll part ways as friends,

when he gets up to go to the bathroom,

kada se on uputio u toalet,

and in the meantime, the bill comes to our table.

a u međuvremenu je na stol došao račun.

Slušajte, ja sam moderna žena,

And listen, I'm a modern woman.

I am totally down with splitting the bill.

i sasvim mi je prihvatljivo podijeliti račun.

But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back.

No, Steve, informatičar, se nije se vratio. (Uzdasi)

(Gasping)

And that was my entire month's rent.

To je bila cijela moja mjesečna stanarina.

(Audience gasps)

So needless to say, I was not having a good night.

Ne moram ni reći da se nisam dobro provela.

So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister,

Otišla sam kući, nazvala majku i sestru,

and as I do, at the end of each one of these terrible, terrible dates,

i kao što uvijek radim nakon svakog

užasnog spoja,

I regale them with the details.

zasula ih detaljima.

And they say to me,

One su mi odvratile:

"Stop complaining."

"Prestani se žaliti."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"You're just being too picky."

"Jednostavno si preizbirljiva."

So I said, fine, from here on out I'm only going on dates

Rekla sam tada da ću otad

ići na spojeve samo ondje gdje znam

where I know there's Wi-Fi, and I'm bringing my laptop.

da ima wi-fija i da ću sa sobom nositi svoj laptop.

Ugurat ću ga u torbu,

I'm going to shove it into my bag,

I'm going to have this email template,

i imat ću predložak e-pošte,

and I'm going to fill it out and collect information

popunit ću ga i prikupiti informacije

o raznim podatcima koje ću dobiti tijekom spoja

on all these different data points during the date

to prove to everybody that empirically,

kako bih svima dokazala da su empirijski

these dates really are terrible.

ovi spojevi zaista užasni. (Smijeh)

(Laughter)

Počela sam pratiti stvari poput

So I started tracking things like really stupid, awkward, sexual remarks;

zaista glupih, neugodnih seksualnih primjedbi;

bad vocabulary;

lošeg vokabulara;

the number of times a man forced me to high-five him.

koliko puta me muškarac prisilio da mu dam pet.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So I started to crunch some numbers,

Počela sam spajati neke brojke,

što mi je omogućilo da izvučem neke korelacije.

and that allowed me to make some correlations.

So as it turns out,

Ispostavilo se da,

for some reason, men who drink Scotch reference kinky sex immediately.

iz nekog razloga, muškarci koji piju viski,

odmah aludiraju na pomalo perverzan seks.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Well, it turns out that these probably weren't bad guys.

Ispostavilo se da to

vjerojatno nisu loši dečki.

There were just bad for me.

Jedino što su loši za mene.

And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up,

I algoritmi koji su nas spajali

they weren't bad either.

isto tako nisu bili loši.

These algorithms were doing exactly what they were designed to do,

Ti su algoritmi radili upravo ono

za što su bili i napravljeni,

da prikupe naše podatke,

which was to take our user-generated information,

in my case, my résumé,

u mom slučaju, moj životopis,

and match it up with other people's information.

i spoje ih s tuđim podatcima.

See, the real problem here is that,

Vidite, pravi problem je taj što,

iako algoritmi dobro funkcioniraju,

while the algorithms work just fine,

you and I don't,

ti i ja ne funkcioniramo dobro, kada se suočimo

when confronted with blank windows

s praznim prozorčićima gdje bismo trebali

where we're supposed to input our information online.

unijeti naše podatke.

Very few of us have the ability

Jako malo nas može biti

to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves.

potpuno i brutalno iskreni sami sa sobom.

The other problem is that these websites are asking us

Drugi problem je što nam te internetske stranice postavljaju

questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person?

pitanja poput: "Voliš li pse ili mačke?"

Do you like horror films or romance films?

"Voliš li horore ili romantične filmove?"

I'm not looking for a pen pal.

Ne tražim prijatelja za dopisivanje.

I'm looking for a husband. Right?

Tražim supruga. Dobro?

So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data.

Tako da su ti podatci prilično površni.

So I said fine, I've got a new plan.

Onda sam si rekla da imam novi plan.

I'm going to keep using these online dating sites,

I dalje ću se služiti tim online dating stranicama,

but I'm going to treat them as databases,

no koristit ću ih kao baze podataka,

i umjesto da čekam da me algoritam spoji s nekime,

and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up,

I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system.

pokušat ću cijeli taj sustav podvrgnuti obrnutom inženjeringu.

So knowing that there was superficial data

Znajući da se koriste površni podaci

that was being used to match me up with other people,

kako bi me se spojilo s drugim ljudima,

I decided instead to ask my own questions.

odlučila sam da umjesto toga sama postavljam pitanja.

What was every single possible thing

Koje su to sve bile stvari

kojih sam se mogla sjetiti da su mi bitne za mog partnera?

that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate?

So I started writing

Počela sam pisati i pisati i pisati,

and writing and writing,

and at the end, I had amassed 72 different data points.

i na kraju sam prikupila

72 različita podatka.

I wanted somebody was Jew-ish,

Htjela sam nekoga tko je Židov,

so I was looking for somebody

tražila sam nekoga tko ima isto

who had the same background and thoughts on our culture,

podrijetlo i poglede na našu kulturu,

but wasn't going to force me to go to shul every Friday and Saturday.

ali me neće tjerati da idem u sinagogu

svaki petak i subotu.

I wanted somebody who worked hard,

Htjela sam nekoga tko puno radi,

because work for me is extremely important,

jer mi je rad iznimno bitan,

but not too hard.

no da ne radi previše.

Za mene su moji hobiji

For me, the hobbies that I have

are really just new work projects that I've launched.

zapravo novi projekti koje sam pokrenula.

I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children,

Također sam htjela nekoga tko ne samo da želi imati dvoje djece,

but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do,

nego će imati i isti pristup odgoju kao i ja.

so somebody who was going to be totally okay

dakle, netko kome će biti sasvim uredu

with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three,

siliti našu djecu da idu na satove klavira u dobi od tri godine,

a možda i informatku

and also maybe computer science classes if we could wrangle it.

ako je uspijemo ugurati.

So things like that, but I also wanted somebody

Takve neke stvari, no htjela sam i nekoga

who would go to far-flung, exotic places, like Petra, Jordan.

tko bi išao na udaljena, egzotična mjesta,

poput Petre u Jordanu.

Htjela sam nekoga tko teži

I also wanted somebody who would weigh 20 pounds more than me at all times,

10 kilograma više od mene u svakom trenutku,

regardless of what I weighed.

bez obzira koliko sam ja teška.

(Smijeh)

(Laughter)

So I now have these 72 different data points,

Tako sam imala ta 72 različita podatka,

which, to be fair, is a lot.

što je zaista puno.

So what I did was, I went through and I prioritized that list.

Prošla sam kroz taj popis

i birala prioritete.

I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points,

Podijelila sam ih u glavni, gornji razred i drugi razred bodova,

and I ranked everything starting at 100

i sve sam rangirala počevši od 100

and going all the way down to 91,

sve do 91,

and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart,

i navodeći stvari poput toga da tražim nekoga jako pametnog,

tko će me izazivati i poticati,

who would challenge and stimulate me,

i uspoređivala to s drugim razredom

and balancing that with a second tier and a second set of points.

i drugom skupinom bodova.

These things were also important to me but not necessarily deal-breakers.

Te su mi stvari također bile bitne,

no nisu bile presudne.

(Laughter)

So once I had all this done, I then built a scoring system,

Kad sam to sve napravila,

sastavila sam sustav ocjenjivanja,

because what I wanted to do was to sort of mathematically calculate

budući da sam htjela

matematički izračunati

whether or not I thought the guy that I found online

bi li neki tip kojeg pronađem na internetu

would be a match with me.

bio moj par ili ne.

I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points

Shvatila sam kako bi trebao imati najmanje 700 bodova

before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message.

prije nego bih pristala poslati mu e-poštu

ili odgovoriti na njegovu e-poštu.

For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date,

Za 900 bodova pristala bih otići na spoj,

a ne bih ni pomišljala na bilo kakvu vezu

and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship

before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold.

prije no što itko prođe prag od 1.500 bodova.

Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well.

Ispostavilo se da je to jako dobro funkcioniralo.

So I go back online now.

Vratila sam se na Internet.

I found Jewishdoc57

Pronašla sam osobu Jewishdoc57

who's incredibly good-looking, incredibly well-spoken,

koji je nevjerojatno zgodan i nevjerojatno rječit,

he had hiked Mt. Fuji,

popeo se na planinu Fuji,

he had walked along the Great Wall.

prošetao se po Kineskom zidu.

He likes to travel

Voli putovati sve dok to ne uključuje kruzer.

as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship.

I pomislila sam: "Uspjela sam!"

And I thought,

I've done it!

I've cracked the code.

"Razbila sam šifru!"

I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming

"Pronašla sam židovskog princa na bijelom konju

of my family's dreams.

o kojem je moja obitelj sanjala."

There was only one problem:

Postojao je samo jedan problem:

Nisam mu se sviđala.

He didn't like me back.

And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered

Jedina varijabla koju nisam bila uzela u obzir

is the competition.

je konkurencija.

Who are all of the other women on these dating sites?

Tko su sve ostale žene

na tim internetskim stranicama?

I found SmileyGirl1978.

Pronašla sam SmileyGirl1978.

She said she was a "Fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing."

Rekla je da je "zabavna djevojka, koja je sretna i otvorena."

She listed her job as "teacher."

Navela je da je učiteljica i

She said she is "silly, nice and friendly."

da je "luckasta, draga i srdačna."

She likes to make people laugh "alot."

"Jako" voli nasmijavati ljude.

At this moment I knew,

U tom sam trenutku znala, klikajući profil

clicking profile after profile that looked like this,

za profilom koji su izgledali ovako,

that I needed to do some market research.

da trebam provesti istraživanje tržišta.

Stvorila sam 10 lažnih muških profila.

So I created 10 fake male profiles.

Now, before I lose all of you --

Prije nego vas sve izgubim --

(Laughter) --

(Smijeh) --

znajte da sam to učinila

understand that I did this strictly to gather data

samo da prikupim podatke

about everybody else in the system.

o svima ostalima u tom sustavu.

I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody.

Nisam se s nikim upuštala u sulude veze s lažnim identitetom.

I really was just scraping their data.

Zaista sam samo prikupljala njihove podatke.

But I didn't want everybody's data.

No, nisam htjela svačije podatke.

I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted

Htjela sam samo podatke onih žena

koje će privući

to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry.

tip muškarca za kojeg bih se ja vrlo rado udala. (Smijeh)

When I released these men into the wild,

Kada sam pustila te "muškarce" u divljinu,

I did follow some rules.

poštivala sam neka pravila.

So I didn't reach out to any woman first.

Nisam prva prilazila niti jednoj ženi.

I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract,

Samo sam čekala da vidim koga će ti profili privući,

and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets.

a najviše sam promatrala dvije različite skupine podatake.

So I was looking at qualitative data,

Gledala sam kvalitativne podatke,

so what was the humor, the tone,

poput humora, tona,

the voice, the communication style

glasa, stila komunikacije

that these women shared in common?

koje su te žene dijelile.

And also quantitative data,

Ali i kvantitativne podatke,

so what was the average length of their profile,

poput prosječe duljine njihovog profila,

how much time was spent between messages?

koliko je vremena prošlo između dopisivanja?

Ono što sam htjela ovdje dobiti je

What I was trying to get at here was that I figured, in person,

da i sama

I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl1978.

budem jednako konkurentna

kao i SmileyGirl1978.

I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online.

Htjela sam vidjeti kako da poboljšam

svoj vlastiti online profil.

Well, one month later,

Dakle, nakon mjesec dana,

I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis.

imala sam puno podataka i mogla sam napraviti drugu analizu.

And as it turns out, content matters a lot.

Ispostavilo se da je sadržaj jako bitan.

So smart people tend to write a lot --

Pametni ljudi imaju naviku puno pisati --

3.000, 4.000,

3,000, 4,000, 5,000 words about themselves,

5.000 riječi o sebi,

which may all be very, very interesting.

što može biti jako zanimljivo.

The challenge here, though, is that the popular men and women

No, ovdje je izazov to što se

popularni muškarci i žene

are sticking to 97 words on average

u prosjeku drže 97 riječi

that are written very, very well,

koje su jako dobro napisane,

even though it may not seem like it all the time.

iako se to možda ne čini uvijek tako.

The other hallmark of the people who do this well

Druga značajka ljudi koji ovo rade dobro

is that they're using non-specific language.

je što ne koriste konkretan jezik.

U mom slučaju,

So in my case,

"The English Patient" is my most favorite movie ever,

moj omiljeni film je "Engleski pacijent"

but it doesn't work to use that in a profile,

no, ne koristi ako to spomenem u profilu,

because that's a superficial data point,

jer je to površan podatak

i netko se ne bi se trebao složiti sa mnom

and somebody may disagree

and decide they don't want to go out

i odlučiti da ne žele izaći sa mnom

jer im se nije svidjelo sjediti tri sata gledajući taj film.

because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie.

Osim toga, optimističan jezik je jako bitan.

Also, optimistic language matters a lot.

Ovo je oblak s riječima

So this is a word cloud

highlighting the most popular words that were used

koji pokazuje najpopularnije riječi koje su koristile

by the most popular women,

najpopularnije žene,

words like "fun" and "girl" and "love."

poput: "zabava", "cura" i "ljubav".

And what I realized was not that I had to dumb down my own profile.

Shvatila sam kako ne trebam

učiniti svoj profil glupljim.

Remember, I'm somebody who said

Sjetite se, ja sam osoba

that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript

koja tečno govori japanski i poznajem JavaScript

and I was okay with that.

i to mi je bilo ok.

The difference is that it's about being more approachable

Razlika je ta što se tu radi o tome kako biti pristupačniji

and helping people understand the best way to reach out to you.

i kako pomoći ljudima da shvate

koji je najbolji način da ti se obrate.

And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important.

Ispostavilo se i da je vrijeme također jako bitno.

Samo zato što imate pristup

Just because you have access to somebody's mobile phone number

nečijem broju mobitela

or their instant message account

ili njihovom računu instant poruka,

and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake,

i dva su sata ujutro, a vi ste nekim slučajem budni,

ne znači da je to dobar trenutak da komunicirate s tim ljudima.

doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people.

Popularne žene na ovim internetskim stranicama

The popular women on these online sites

spend an average of 23 hours in between each communication.

u prosjeku imaju pauzu od 23 sata

između svake komunikacije.

And that's what we would normally do in the usual process of courtship.

To je ono što bismo i inače radili

u uobičajenom procesu udvaranja.

And finally --

I konačno, tu su i fotografije.

there were the photos.

Sve popularne žene bile su

All of the women who were popular showed some skin.

odjevene otvorenije.

They all looked really great,

Sve su izgledale zaista odlično,

which turned out to be in sharp contrast

što je bila velika razlika

to what I had uploaded.

od moje fotografije.

(Laughter)

Once I had all of this information,

Sad kad sam imala sve te informacije,

I was able to create a super profile,

mogla sam napraviti super profil,

so it was still me,

tako da sam to i dalje bila ja,

but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem.

no, sada optimizirana za taj ekosustav.

And as it turns out, I did a really good job.

I ispostavilo se da sam napravila zaista dobar posao.

I was the most popular person online.

Bila sam najpopularija osoba na Internetu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me.

I mnogo je muškaraca htjelo na spoj sa mnom.

So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother.

I tako nazovem svoju majku, sestru i baku.

Govorim im o tim sjajnim vijestima,

I'm telling them about this fabulous news,

a one kažu: "To je prekrasno!

and they say, "This is wonderful! How soon are you going out?"

Kada ćeš na spoj?"

I said, "Actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody."

A ja im odgovaram: "Pa, zapravo, neću ni sa kim na spoj."

Because remember, in my scoring system,

Jer, sjetite se, po mojem sustavu ocjenjivanja

they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points,

moraju prijeći prag od minimalno 700 bodova,

and none of them have done that.

a nijednome to nije uspjelo.

They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky."

One odgovaraju: "Što? Još uvijek si previše izbirljiva."

Well, not too long after that, I found this guy, Thevenin,

Nedugo nakon toga,

upoznala sam jednog čovjeka, Thevenina,

and he said that he was culturally Jewish,

koji je rekao da je kulturološki Židov,

da je po profesiji lovac na bebe arktičkih tuljana,

he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter,

što sam smatrala domišljatim.

which I thought was very clever.

He talked in detail about travel.

Detaljno je govorio o putovanjima.

He made a lot of really interesting cultural references.

Imao je dosta zanimljivih kulturnih referenci.

He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted,

Izgledao je i govorio upravo kako sam htjela,

and immediately, he scored 850 points.

i odmah je dobio 850 bodova.

It was enough for a date.

To je bilo dovoljno za spoj.

Three weeks later, we met up in person

Tri tjedna kasnije našli smo se uživo

for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation

na razgovoru koji je trajao 14 sati,

i koji je vodio od kafića do restorana

that went from coffee shop to restaurant

to another coffee shop to another restaurant,

do drugog kafića do drugog restorana

and when he dropped me back off at my house that night

i kada me je te večeri odbacio do moje kuće

I re-scored him --

ponovo sam ga ocijenila --

1.050 bodova! --

[1,050 points!]

Thought, you know what,

iako, znate što?

this entire time, I haven't been picky enough.

Cijelo to vrijeme nisam bila dovoljno izbirljiva.

Well, a year and a half after that,

Godinu i pol dana poslije,

we were non-cruise ship traveling

putovali smo (ne kruzerom),

through Petra, Jordan,

kroz Petru u Jordanu,

when he got down on his knee and proposed.

kada je kleknuo na koljeno i zaprosio me.

A year after that, we were married,

Godinu nakon toga, bili smo vjenčani,

and about a year and a half after that,

a godinu i pol nakon toga, rodila se

our daughter, Petra, was born.

naša kći Petra.

Audience: Oh!

(Pljesak)

(Applause)

[What it means...]

Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so --

Očito je da imam fantastičan život, tako da --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh) --

The question is, what does all of this mean for you?

pitanje je, što sve ovo znači vama?

Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love.

Izgleda da postoji algoritam za ljubav.

It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online.

Jedino što to nisu oni koji su nam predstavljeni na Internetu.

In fact, it's something that you write yourself.

Zapravo, to je nešto što sami pišete.

Tako da, bilo da tražite supruga ili suprugu

So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife

or you're trying to find your passion

ili pokušavate pronaći svoju strast

or you're trying to start a business,

ili pokušavate pokrenuti posao,

sve što trebate napraviti je da osmislite svoj vlastiti okvir

all you have to really do is figure out your own framework

and play by your own rules,

i da igrate po vlastitim pravilima,

and feel free to be as picky as you want.

i slobodno budite izbirljivi koliko želite.

Well, on my wedding day,

Na dan mog vjenčanja,

I had a conversation again with my grandmother,

ponovo sam pričala sa svojom bakom,

i rekla mi je, "U redu. Možda sam bila u krivu.

and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong.

It looks like you did come up with a really, really great system.

Izgleda da si ipak osmislila

jako, jako dobar sustav.

Now, your matzah balls ...

No, što se tiče tvojih knedli,

trebale bi biti mekane, a ne tvrde."

They should be fluffy, not hard."

(Laughter)

I poslušat ću taj njezin savjet.

And I'll take her advice on that.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)