How vulnerability makes you a better leader | Tracy Young

Transcriber: TED Translators Admin Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

翻译人员: ALICIA Zhang 校对人员: Helen Chang

My parents were refugees of communism.

我的父母是共产主义的难民。

Growing up, I watched my mom and dad

随着我长大，我看着爸爸妈妈

work two full-time jobs without ever complaining,

做两份全职工作，从不抱怨。

so my siblings and I could live a better life than they did.

让我和兄弟姐妹 可以过上比他们更好的生活。

I was proud to be their daughter.

我很自豪能成为他们的女儿。

And I understood the immigrant part of my identity well.

并且非常理解我身份中移民的部分。

The female part of my identity, however, was much harder for me to own.

然而，我身份中的女性部分 对我来说更难承认。

I never wanted to draw attention to my gender,

我从不想引起 人们对我的性别的关注，

because I was afraid I wouldn’t be taken seriously as a CEO.

因为我担心作为首席执行官， 我不会被认真对待。

So I focused my energy on the things that I thought were important,

所以我把精力集中在 我认为重要的事情上，

stuff like making my team laugh.

比如让我的团队 充满欢声笑语之类的事情。

I remember I would painstakingly write and rehearse jokes

我记得我会绞尽脑汁地 编写并且预演笑话

before every all-hands.

在每一位团队成员面前。

Or I'd be the first one in the office and the last one out,

或者我第一个走进办公室 最后一个离开，

because I thought that these things mattered.

因为我认为这些事情很重要。

When I was six months pregnant,

我怀孕六个月的时候，

one of our large competitors reached out, wanting to talk about acquiring us.

我们的一个大型竞争对手来找我们， 讨论收购我们的事情。

Every startup wants the option to be bought,

每个创业公司都希望有被收购的选项，

but it really got under my skin

但这真的让我很恼火

when during conversations with these strangers

在与这些陌生人交谈、

who I was negotiating with,

谈判的过程中，

their eyes would sometimes wander to my pregnant belly.

他们的目光有时会看向我怀孕的肚子。

I went into labor the same night of our user conference.

在我们召开用户会议的当天晚上， 我就开始分娩了。

The weeks leading up to the event,

活动前几周，

watching our team prepare for our big product unveiling,

我们团队在为盛大的产品发布会做准备，

I wondered how many male CEOs would skip their own conference

我想知道有多少男性首席执行官 会不参加自己的会议

for the birth of their child.

为了他们孩子的出生。

I assumed most would.

我估计大多数都会。

But I kept reasoning with myself that if I wasn't pregnant,

但我一直在想，如果我没有怀孕，

there'd be no question whether I'd be there or not.

根本不会有参加会议与否的问题。

So I have to be there,

因此我必须在那里。

forcing myself to parade my nine-month pregnancy,

强迫自己炫耀 我九个月的怀孕还在工作

work the halls as hosts on my feet for 14 hours was a bad idea in hindsight.

事后看来，在大厅里站着 主持14个小时是个糟糕的主意。

The moment I arrived home, my water broke and my contractions started

我一回到家， 我的羊水破了，子宫开始收缩

and I wouldn't hear my son's first cry for another 32 hours.

32个小时后，我才听到 我儿子的第一声啼哭。

When my baby was six weeks old, I went back to work.

当我的孩子六周大的时候， 我就回去工作了。

Our M and A had fallen through by then,

那时我们的并购失败了，

and I was determined to fundraise a war chest to fight them back.

我决心筹集资金来反击他们。

But I was still bleeding from several tears in my vagina

但我的阴道还在流血

from pushing out a baby.

因为我生了一个孩子。

To this day, I still ask myself

直到今天，我还在问自己

why I rushed back to work when I wasn't ready.

为什么我还没准备好就冲回去工作。

And I realize now it was because I was afraid.

我现在意识到这是因为我害怕。

I was so afraid of what people might think of me

我很害怕人们对我的看法

as a new mother and CEO.

作为新妈妈和首席执行官。

I was afraid that they would think that my priorities had changed.

我担心他们会认为 我的工作重心改变了。

So I pressured myself into proving to everyone

所以我强迫自己向所有人证明

that I was as dedicated to the company as ever.

我对公司的奉献一如既往。

I would spend the next two months fundraising to secure our war chest.

接下来的两个月里，我继续募款 以稳固我们的战争基金。

I had a full schedule and I needed to pump milk,

我的日程排得很满， 而且我还需要挤奶。

but I didn't have the courage to ask for 50 million dollars

但我没有勇气要5000万美元，

and ask to use their mother's room.

还要用他们的哺乳室。

So how does one pump milk on Sand Hill Road?

那么怎么在沙丘路上挤奶呢?

Well, I would park my car

我会把我的车停在

in front of someone's super nice home in Palo Alto.

超级棒的帕洛阿尔托某人的家门前。

I'd undress and extract milk from my breasts

我脱掉衣服，从乳房里挤出乳汁

with a silicone hand pump.

用硅胶手泵。

It worked out, I guess.

我想，成功了。

We secured a lead investor for our series C

我们为C系列找到了一个主要投资人，

and then our competitors came back with a revised offer,

然后我们的竞争对手 带着修改后的报价回来了，

and we decided to sell to them for 875 million dollars.

我们决定以 8.75 亿美元的价格 卖给他们。

A few months after the acquisition I became pregnant for the second time.

收购后几个月，我第二次怀孕了。

And shortly after, I found out I had a miscarriage.

不久之后，我发现我流产了。

While with my team ...

和我的团队一起...

I felt it slip out of me.

我觉得它从我身上溜走了。

I went to the bathroom ...

我去了卫生间 ...

and it fell to the floor.

它掉落在地上。

I didn't know what to do,

我不知道该怎么办，

so I just walked back out to the team, pretending as if nothing happened.

所以我只是走回团队， 假装什么也没发生。

It took going through infertility, miscarriage,

我经历了不孕、流产

pregnancy, giving birth without any drugs, while running a company

怀孕，无药分娩，同时经营公司，

for me to realize how wrong I was to hide my womanhood

让我意识到我隐藏 自己的女性身份是多么错误，

as if it's something I'm ashamed of.

好像这是我感到羞耻的事情。

For so long, I thought I had to be what I thought a good male CEO looked like

很长一段时间以来，我一直认为

我必须成为我所认为的 优秀男性首席执行官的样子

so that I wouldn't be judged or treated differently.

这样我就不会被区别对待。

I was so constricted by my belief that businesses value maleness more.

我被我的信念束缚住了， 即企业更看重男性。

And it made me afraid to be a woman,

这让我害怕成为一个女人，

which meant I hid a massive part of who I was from everyone.

这意味着我对所有人 都隐瞒了自己的很大一部分。

When I dared to be fully myself,

当我敢于做真正的自己，

when I dared to trust and share my frustrations

当我敢于相信，与团队分享我的挫折，

and my anger and my sadness and my tears with my team,

我的愤怒，我的悲伤， 和我的眼泪时，

I became a much happier and more effective leader

我才成为了一个更快乐、 更有效率的领导者

because I was finally honest in who I was.

因为我终于诚实地做了自己。

And my team responded to that.

我的团队成员回应了。

One of the most important side effects of leading as my complete raw self

以完全原始的自我作为领导， 最重要的副作用之一

was seeing our culture evolve

是看到我们的文化演变

to a more close-knit and effective version of itself.

成为一个更紧密、更有效的版本。

I remember we had several back to back rough quarters.

我记得我们连续经历了几次挫折。

It felt like everything was in shambles

似乎一切都一团糟。

and I didn't have time to prepare for an all-hands.

我没有时间为了全体成员去准备，

And then it was time for me to speak.

是我发言的时候了。

So I walked up to the mic cold and I started talking openly

所以我走到麦克风前， 我开始公开谈论

about my concerns, my concerns on competition,

关于我的担忧，我对竞争的担忧，

the mistakes we had made in sales strategy,

我们在销售策略上犯的错误，

really exposing the weaknesses of our company.

真正暴露了我们公司的弱点。

And I asked the team for help.

我向团队寻求帮助。

That completely changed the conversation

这个做法完全改变了对话

and how we would build and solve problems together.

以及我们如何共同构建 和解决问题的方式。

As we collectively brought our full selves to work,

当我们集体全身心投入工作时，

we were able to accomplish so much more in terms of revenue growth

我们能够在收入增长方面 取得更多成就，

and the most products shipped the company had seen.

达成公司史上最高的出货量。

And it progressed us from a startup to medium-sized business.

它使我们从一家初创企业 发展为中型企业。

Whoever you are, if you're thinking about starting a startup,

不管你是谁，如果你正在考虑创业，

or you’re thinking about leading,

或者你正在考虑担任领导，

do it

去做吧！

and don't be afraid to trust and be yourself completely.

不要害怕去信任，完全做你自己。

I wish I knew that a decade ago.

我希望我十年前就知道这个道理。

And learn from my mistakes.

从我的错误中吸取教训。

If you find yourself fundraising on Sand Hill, needing to pump milk,

如果你发现自己在沙丘路 筹款，需要挤奶，

go use their nice-ass mother’s rooms.

那就去用漂亮的哺乳室吧。

Thank you.

谢谢