You are not alone in your loneliness | Jonny Sun

翻译人员: psjmz mz 校对人员: Tianji (Homer) Li

Hello.

大家好。

I'd like to introduce you to someone.

我要给你们介绍一个人。

This is Jomny.

这是Jomny。

That's "Jonny" but spelled accidentally with an "m,"

我解释一下，应该叫"Jonny"，

in case you were wondering,

但是"n"不小心拼成了"m"，

because we're not all perfect.

人无完人嘛。

Jomny is an alien

Jomny是外星人。

who has been sent to earth with a mission to study humans.

他被送到地球研究人类。

Jomny is feeling lost and alone and far from home,

他远离家乡，又孤独又彷徨。

and I think we've all felt this way.

这种感觉大家都不陌生吧。

Or, at least I have.

至少，对我来说并不陌生。

I wrote this story about this alien at a moment in my life

曾有一段时间， 我感觉自己就像个外星人，

when I was feeling particularly alien.

于是写下了这个外星人的故事。

I had just moved to Cambridge and started my doctoral program at MIT,

那时我才搬到剑桥， 刚开始我的MIT博士课程，

and I was feeling intimidated and isolated and very much like I didn't belong.

感觉势单力薄、孤立无援， 觉得自己不属于那里。

But I had a lifeline of sorts.

但我有一些自救方法。

See, I was writing jokes for years and years

那时我已经连续多年

and sharing them on social media,

在社交网络上分享我编的笑话，

and I found that I was turning to doing this more and more.

而且随着孤独感的增加， 我分享的笑话越来越多。

Now, for many people, the internet can feel like a lonely place.

我知道对很多人而言， 网络是个孤独的地方。

It can feel like this,

就像这里一样，

a big, endless, expansive void

宽广、无穷的一片空虚。

where you can constantly call out to it but no one's ever listening.

你可以在这里大声呼喊， 但没人听到。

But I actually found a comfort in speaking out to the void.

但我在向空虚说话之后， 找到了慰藉。

I found, in sharing my feelings with the void,

我发现，向空虚分享我的感觉以后，

eventually the void started to speak back.

我得到了空虚的回应。

And it turns out that the void isn't this endless lonely expanse at all,

我发现这片空虚， 其实并非无穷孤寂的空间，

but instead it's full of all sorts of other people,

而是充满着不同的人，

also staring out into it and also wanting to be heard.

这些人也在望着这片空虚， 并且希望自己的心声得到回应。

Now, there have been many bad things that have come from social media.

确实，社交网络上充斥着不良信息。

I'm not trying to dispute that at all.

这一点我无法否认。

To be online at any given point is to feel so much sadness

网络时时刻刻 让我们感觉到无比的悲伤、

and anger and violence.

愤怒和暴力。

It can feel like the end of the world.

有时，感觉就像世界末日。

Yet, at the same time, I'm conflicted

但同时，我也很矛盾，

because I can't deny the fact that so many of my closest friends

因为我也无法否认， 我许多特别亲近的朋友，

are people that I had met originally online.

都是通过网络认识的。

And I think that's partly because there's this confessional nature

我觉得其中一部分原因，

是社交网络的自白属性。

to social media.

It can feel like you are writing in this personal, intimate diary

在网络写非常私人、 亲密的日记，

that's completely private,

可以是完全隐私的，

yet at the same time you want everyone in the world to read it.

但同时你又希望 全世界的人都能读到。

And I think part of that, the joy of that

我认为，在其中有一些乐趣，

is that we get to experience things from perspectives from people

那就是我们可以从跟自己完全不同

who are completely different from ourselves,

的人的视角，去体验，

and sometimes that's a nice thing.

而有些时候，这种体验是好的。

For example, when I first joined Twitter,

比如，我最初加入推特时，

发现很多我关注的人，

I found that so many of the people that I was following

were talking about mental health and going to therapy

都在探讨心理健康、心理咨询，

in ways that had none of the stigma that they often do

而他们在网上的探讨，

when we talk about these issues in person.

往往没有面对面探讨 面临的种种困难。

Through them, the conversation around mental health was normalized,

通过他们，关于心理健康的 话题变得正常，

and they helped me realize that going to therapy was something

他们也帮我认识到，

that would help me as well.

咨询心理医生也可以帮助到我。

Now, for many people,

我知道对许多人来说，

it sounds like a scary idea to be talking about all these topics

在网络上公开、毫不保留地 探讨这些话题

so publicly and so openly on the internet.

想想就很恐怖。

I feel like a lot of people think that it is a big, scary thing

许多人认为，如果你本身 不是一个完美、健全的人，

to be online if you're not already perfectly and fully formed.

那在网上就是一件 很恐怖的事情。

But I think the internet can be actually a great place to not know,

但我认为，网络上的 这种未知是好的，

and I think we can treat that with excitement,

我们可以用一种 新奇的心态看待它，

because to me there's something important about sharing your imperfections

因为对我来说， 分享自己的不完美是重要的，

and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities

和他人分享自己的不安和脆弱，

with other people.

也是必要的。

【我就像一颗洋葱，一层层拨开以后， 是一个更渺小、更胆怯的洋葱】

(Laughter)

Now, when someone shares that they feel sad or afraid

当他人分享他们的悲伤、害怕，

or alone, for example,

或是孤独的时候，

it actually makes me feel less alone,

这其实让我感觉没有那么孤单了。

not by getting rid of any of my loneliness

他们没有让我摆脱 孤独的状态，

but by showing me that I am not alone

却让我认识到，

我的孤独并不孤单。

in feeling lonely.

And as a writer and as an artist,

作为一个作家、艺术家，

I care very much about making this comfort of being vulnerable

我很重视让人们能够一起、

无所顾虑地向他人 分享自己的脆弱。

a communal thing, something that we can share with each other.

I'm excited about externalizing the internal,

让我激动的是， 将内在的东西外化，

about taking those invisible personal feelings that I don't have words for,

将我不能用言语表达 的无形的情感，

holding them to the light, putting words to them,

公之于众，为它们赋予文字，

and then sharing them with other people

并且和他人分享，

in the hopes that it might help them find words to find their feelings as well.

希望它们能为他人 的情感赋予文字。

Now, I know that sounds like a big thing,

我知道这些话很大，

但我最终感兴趣的是把这些大事，

but ultimately I'm interested in putting all these things

into small, approachable packages,

分成小而易懂的小事，

because when we can hide them into these smaller pieces,

因为我们可以 把大事隐藏在小事里，

这样就更方便理解，也更有趣。

I think they are easier to approach, I think they're more fun.

这种方式很容易帮助我们 看到我们共同的人性。

I think they can more easily help us see our shared humanness.

Sometimes that takes the form of a short story,

有时这些小事， 以故事的形式呈现，

有时是可爱的插画书。

sometimes that takes the form of a cute book of illustrations, for example.

And sometimes that takes the form

有时它们是

of a silly joke that I'll throw on the internet.

我网上发布的傻乎乎的笑话。

For example, a few months ago, I posted this app idea

举个例子，几个月前， 我提出了一个新应用的提议：

for a dog-walking service

遛狗服务，

where a dog shows up at your door and you have to get out of the house

狗来到你家门前， 你必须出门遛狗，

and go for a walk.

顺便散散步。

(Laughter)

（笑）

If there are app developers in the audience,

如果现场有应用开发人员，

please find me after the talk.

等会儿我们可以聊一聊。

Or, I like to share every time I feel anxious about sending an email.

再举个例子， 我会分享每次我发邮件的焦虑。

When I sign my emails "Best,"

邮件落款“最好的(best)”，

it's short for "I am trying my best,"

指的是“我尽了最好的努力”，

which is short for "Please don't hate me, I promise I'm trying my best!"

全称是“千万别恨我， 我真的尽了最大的努力！”

Or my answer to the classic icebreaker,

再比如， 我对一个经典问题的回答：

if I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, I would.

如果我可以和任何一个人吃饭， 不管活人还是死人，

我都愿意，我太孤单了。

I am very lonely.

(Laughter)

（笑）

And I find that when I post things like these online,

我发现，把这些笑话 在网上发布以后，

the reaction is very similar.

得到的回应大体相同。

人们聚到一起，分享快乐，

People come together to share a laugh,

to share in that feeling,

分享感情，

and then to disburse just as quickly.

然后快速消失。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Yes, leaving me once again alone.

对，我又孤单一人了。

But I think sometimes these little gatherings can be quite meaningful.

不过我认为这些小型聚会 是非常有意义的。

For example, when I graduated from architecture school

举例说，我从建筑学校毕业，

and I moved to Cambridge,

搬到剑桥以后，

I posted this question:

我发布了这个问题：

"How many people in your life have you already had

“你和生命里的多少人，

your last conversation with?"

已经不会有交流了？”

And I was thinking about my own friends who had moved away

我当时心里在想 那些搬走的朋友们，

to different cities and different countries, even,

他们去了不同的城市，甚至国家，

我也在想，和他们 保持联系会有多难。

and how hard it would be for me to keep in touch with them.

之后，网上的其他人开始 分享他们自己的故事。

But other people started replying and sharing their own experiences.

Somebody talked about a family member they had a falling out with.

有人说自己和家人闹翻了，

有人说自己心爱的人去世了，

Someone talked about a loved one who had passed away

quickly and unexpectedly.

一切都发生得很突然， 很出人意料。

Someone else talked about their friends from school

有人说他们学校里的朋友

who had moved away as well.

也搬走了。

But then something really nice started happening.

在这之后， 发生了一些奇妙的事，

Instead of just replying to me,

人们不只回应我的推文，

people started replying to each other,

也开始回应彼此的评论，

and they started to talk to each other and share their own experiences

并且分享自己的经历

and comfort each other

来安慰彼此、

and encourage each other to reach out to that friend

鼓励彼此，

that they hadn't spoken to in a while

联络许久不联系的朋友，

或是闹翻了的家人。

or that family member that they had a falling out with.

And eventually, we got this little tiny microcommunity.

结果，一个微型社区就这样形成了。

It felt like this support group formed

我们就像组成了互助小组，

of all sorts of people coming together.

组员是各式各样的人。

And I think every time we post online,

我认为我们每一次 在网上发布消息，

every time we do this, there's a chance

都是一个机会，

that these little microcommunities can form.

让微型社区成形。

There's a chance that all sorts of different creatures

这个机会让不同背景的人

can come together and be drawn together.

聚到一起、互相吸引。

And sometimes, through the muck of the internet,

并且，有时候在网络的淤泥中，

you get to find a kindred spirit.

你能找到一个相似的灵魂。

Sometimes that's in the reading the replies

有时你阅读别人的回复，

and the comments sections and finding a reply that is particularly kind

在评论区读到一个相当友善、

or insightful or funny.

有洞察力、或是好笑的评论。

Sometimes that's in going to follow someone

有时你关注某人，

and seeing that they already follow you back.

并发现他们已经关注了你。

And sometimes that's in looking at someone that you know in real life

有时你看着现实生活中的熟人

and seeing the things that you write and the things that they write

在网上撰写的内容，

and realizing that you share so many of the same interests as they do,

发现你们有这么多的共同爱好，

and that brings them closer together to you.

并因此走得更近。

Sometimes, if you're lucky,

有时，如果走运的话，

you get to meet another alien.

你会遇到另一个外星人。

[when two aliebns find each other in a strange place,

【当两个外星人在异乡相遇，

异乡就变得更像故乡】

it feels a litle more like home]

但我也担心，因为我们都清楚，

But I am worried, too, because as we all know,

the internet for the most part doesn't feel like this.

网络给人的主要感觉不是这样的。

We all know that for the most part,

我们知道很大程度上来讲，

the internet feels like a place where we misunderstand each other,

网络就像是一个 让我们彼此误解的地方，

where we come into conflict with each other,

一个让我们彼此发生冲突，

where there's all sorts of confusion and screaming and yelling and shouting,

又充斥着各式各样的 困惑和歇斯底里的地方，

and it feels like there's too much of everything.

所有这些东西都太多了。

网络就像是一片混乱，

It feels like chaos,

and I don't know how to square away the bad parts with the good,

我不知道怎么把好坏分开，

because as we know and as we've seen,

因为我们所知道、看到的坏事，

the bad parts can really, really hurt us.

可能会真的、真的伤害到我们。

It feels to me that the platforms that we use to inhabit these online spaces

似乎我们使用的这些社交平台，

have been designed either ignorantly or willfully

就是为了无知和恶意设计的，

to allow for harassment and abuse, to propagate misinformation,

这些平台允许骚扰和滥用， 传播虚假信息，

to enable hatred and hate speech and the violence that comes from it,

让恨意、恶言恶语， 和由此带来的暴力横行，

and it feels like none of our current platforms

似乎所有现今的社交平台，

are doing enough to address and to fix that.

都没有尽力采取措施 来解决这个问题。

But still, and maybe probably unfortunately,

但是，像许多人一样，

I'm still drawn to these online spaces, as many others are,

我还是义无反顾地， 受到网络空间的吸引，

because sometimes it just feels like that's where all the people are.

因为有时候我感觉 所有人都在网上。

And I feel silly

有时候我觉得自己傻乎乎，

and stupid sometimes

甚至于愚蠢，

for valuing these small moments of human connection in times like these.

因为我如此珍视那些 人类联系的短小时刻。

But I've always operated under this idea

但我一直有一个原则，

that these little moments of humanness are not superfluous.

这些短小时刻并不多余。

They're not retreats from the world at all,

它们不代表对外部世界的规避，

but instead they're the reasons why we come to these spaces.

而是我们使用网络空间的原因。

They are important and vital and they affirm and they give us life.

它们重要、必不可少， 帮我们肯定、帮我们生活。

And they are these tiny, temporary sanctuaries

它们是微小的庇护所，

that show us that we are not as alone as we think we are.

让我们知道自己 没有想象中孤单。

And so yes, even though life is bad and everyone's sad

所以，没错， 尽管生活艰难、众人忧郁，

and one day we're all going to die --

有一天我们终将死去——

[look. life is bad. everyones sad.

【你看，生活艰难，众生皆苦，

We're all gona die, but i alredy bought this inflatable bouncey castle

人固有一死，我这个 充气城堡就在你面前，

so are u gona take Ur shoes off or not]

还不快把鞋脱了？】

I think the inflatable metaphorical bouncy castle in this case

这句话中的“充气” 比喻有弹性的城堡，

is really our relationships and our connections to other people.

比喻了我们的人际关系、 我们和他人的联系。

And so one night,

有一天晚上，

when I was feeling particularly sad and hopeless about the world,

我感到特别难过， 对世界无比失望，

I shouted out to the void,

我对着网络的虚无、

to the lonely darkness.

孤独的黑暗大喊：

I said, "At this point, logging on to social media

”现在这个时候上社交网络，

feels like holding someone's hand at the end of the world."

就好像在世界尽头 握着一个人的手。”

And this time, instead of the void responding,

这次回应我的不是空虚，

it was people who showed up,

而是网络上的人们，

who started replying to me and then who started talking to each other,

他们回复我， 并且彼此交谈，

and slowly this little tiny community formed.

渐渐地，这个小社区形成了。

Everybody came together to hold hands.

每个人在一起手拉手。

And in these dangerous and unsure times,

当我们深处生命中

in the midst of it all,

危险、迷茫的时刻，

I think the thing that we have to hold on to is other people.

我觉得，我们需要拉着别人的手。

And I know that is a small thing made up of small moments,

我知道这是短小的时刻、 微小的举动，

but I think it is one tiny, tiny sliver of light

但我认为这是无尽黑暗中的

in all the darkness.

一丝小小的曙光。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）