A tale of mental illness | Elyn Saks

Translator: Morton Bast Reviewer: Thu-Huong Ha

翻译人员: Yilun Zhou 校对人员: Yuguo Zhang

So I'm a woman with chronic schizophrenia.

我是一个患有慢性精神分裂症的女人

I've spent hundreds of days

我曾经有几百天都

in psychiatric hospitals.

待在精神病医院里面

I might have ended up spending

也许我有可能一生

most of my life on the back ward of a hospital,

大部分时间都待在医院的病房里

but that isn't how my life turned out.

但是我的人生并没有这样

In fact, I've managed to stay clear of hospitals

事实上， 我成功的离开了医院

for almost three decades,

将近三十年了

perhaps my proudest accomplishment.

这可能是我最自豪的成就了

That's not to say that I've remained clear

但是这并不代表我没有

of all psychiatric struggles.

精神上的挣扎

After I graduated from the Yale Law School and

当我从耶鲁大学毕业以后

got my first law job, my New Haven analyst, Dr. White,

我得到了第一份法律工作， 我在纽黑文的医生， 外特

announced to me that he was going to close his practice

告诉我他将在三个月之后

in three months, several years

停止他的治疗工作。这发生在

before I had planned to leave New Haven.

我准备离开纽黑文的几年前。

White had been enormously helpful to me,

外特对我有很大的帮助，

and the thought of his leaving

想到他的离开几乎

shattered me.

让我崩溃

My best friend Steve,

我最好的朋友史蒂夫

sensing that something was terribly wrong,

感觉到了有东西很不对

flew out to New Haven to be with me.

飞到了纽黑文来和我待在一起

Now I'm going to quote from some of my writings:

现在我要读一段我自己的笔记了：

"I opened the door to my studio apartment.

我打开我一室一厅的房子

Steve would later tell me that,

史蒂夫后来告诉我

for all the times he had seen me psychotic, nothing

即使他多次见过我病发的时候，也还是

could have prepared him for what he saw that day.

为他当天见到的我吃惊。

For a week or more, I had barely eaten.

我有一个星期没怎么吃东西了

I was gaunt. I walked

我很憔悴， 我走路的时候

as though my legs were wooden.

感觉自己的脚是木头做的

My face looked and felt like a mask.

我感觉自己的脸是一张面具

I had closed all the curtains in the apartment, so

我把所有的窗帘都关起来了

in the middle of the day

正午的时候

the apartment was in near total darkness.

我的房间几乎是完全黑暗的

The air was fetid, the room a shambles.

空气难闻， 屋子凌乱

Steve, both a lawyer and a psychologist, has treated

史蒂夫， 作为一个律师和心理学家，治疗过

many patients with severe mental illness, and to this day

很多有严重精神病的患者， 直到今天

he'll say I was as bad as any he had ever seen.

他会觉得这是他见过的最坏的情况了

'Hi,' I said, and then I returned to the couch,

“你好”， 我说， 然后回到我沉静了

where I sat in silence for several moments.

一时的沙发上

'Thank you for coming, Steve.

谢谢你的到来

Crumbling world, word, voice.

摇摇欲坠的世界，词， 声音

Tell the clocks to stop.

告诉钟停下来

Time is. Time has come.'

时间， 时间来了

'White is leaving,' Steve said somberly.

“外特要离开了”， 史蒂夫说

'I'm being pushed into a grave. The situation is grave,' I moan.

“我被推倒坟墓里了， 处境就是坟墓” 我呻吟到

'Gravity is pulling me down.

地心引力在把我往下拉

I'm scared. Tell them to get away.'"

我很害怕， 告诉他门离开“

As a young woman, I was in a psychiatric hospital

作为一个年轻女人， 我在精神病院里

on three different occasions for lengthy periods.

待过三段很长的时间。

My doctors diagnosed me with chronic schizophrenia,

我的医生给我诊断了慢性精神分裂

and gave me a prognosis of "grave."

给了我一个”不乐观“的预测

That is, at best, I was expected to live in a board and care,

就是说， 我只能在看护下活着

and work at menial jobs.

做很低下的工作

Fortunately, I did not actually

但是很幸运的是， 我其实没有

enact that grave prognosis.

执行这个预测

Instead, I'm a chaired Professor of Law, Psychology

相反， 我是一个南加州大学Gould 法学院的首席法律教授，

and Psychiatry at the USC Gould School of Law,

心理学教授，精神病学教授。

I have many close friends

我有很多亲近的朋友

and I have a beloved husband, Will, who's here with us today.

和亲爱的丈夫， 他今天也来了

(Applause) Thank you.

（掌声） 谢谢！

He's definitely the star of my show.

他当然是我人生钟的明星。

I'd like to share with you how that happened, and also

我想和你分享这是怎样发生的，

describe my experience of being psychotic.

而且向你描述我作为一个精神病患者

I hasten to add that it's my experience,

我想说的是，这只是我的经历

because everyone becomes psychotic in his or her own way.

因为每个人的精神病多有不同的症状

Let's start with the definition of schizophrenia.

让我们从精神分裂的定义开始把，

Schizophrenia is a brain disease.

精神分裂是一种大脑疾病

Its defining feature is psychosis, or being

它的主要症状是幻想， 或者是与

out of touch with reality.

现实脱离

Delusions and hallucinations

妄想和幻觉

are hallmarks of the illness.

是这个病的标志

Delusions are fixed and false beliefs that aren't responsive

妄想是顽固，错误和不会因为现实而改变的信仰

to evidence, and hallucinations are false sensory experiences.

幻觉是不存在的感觉

For example, when I'm psychotic I often have

比如， 当我病发的时候，

the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands

我总是有我用我的想法

of people with my thoughts.

杀了几百个人的错觉

I sometimes have the idea that

我有时候会觉得

nuclear explosions are about to be set off in my brain.

自己脑子里正要发生核爆炸

Occasionally, I have hallucinations,

也有时候， 我有幻觉

like one time I turned around and saw a man

有个人在我后面

with a raised knife.

高举这一把刀

Imagine having a nightmare while you're awake.

想象以下在清醒的情况下做噩梦

Often, speech and thinking become disorganized

言语和思想经常变得没有头绪

to the point of incoherence.

简直没有任何逻辑

Loose associations involves putting together words

当人有散漫的联想的时候， 就会把一些很相似的词

that may sound a lot alike but don't make sense,

放在一起， 没有任何意义

and if the words get jumbled up enough, it's called "word salad."

感觉像一个文字混在一起的“沙拉”

Contrary to what many people think, schizophrenia is not

和大部分人以为的恰好相反，精神分裂不是

the same as multiple personality disorder or split personality.

多重人格或 人格分裂

The schizophrenic mind is not split, but shattered.

精神分裂的大脑不是分开的， 是破碎的

Everyone has seen a street person,

每个人都看到过街上有人

unkempt, probably ill-fed,

不修边幅， 营养不良

standing outside of an office building muttering

站在外面乱对自己说话

to himself or shouting.

或者大声嚷嚷

This person is likely to have some form of schizophrenia.

这种人多半是有精神分裂

But schizophrenia presents itself across a wide array

但是精神分裂出现在很多不同的

of socioeconomic status, and there are people

社会层次中。 其中有很多患者

with the illness who are full-time professionals

是有全职工作的，

with major responsibilities.

承担着很大责任的。

Several years ago, I decided

几年前， 我决定

to write down my experiences and my personal journey,

把我的个人经历写下来

and I want to share some more of that story with you today

而且我像和你分享更多我的个人经历

to convey the inside view.

以此给大家一个轻身经历的人的角度看待这个事情

So the following episode happened the seventh week

接下载这件事发生在我上耶鲁大学法学院

of my first semester of my first year at Yale Law School.

的第一学期的第七周

Quoting from my writings:

从我的笔记中：

"My two classmates, Rebel and Val, and I had made the date

”我的两个同学， Rebel和Val 和我约了一个时间

to meet in the law school library on Friday night

星期五一起在图书馆

to work on our memo assignment together.

学习我们的备忘录的作业

But we didn't get far before I was talking in ways

但是我们没有完成， 因为我开始

that made no sense.

胡言乱语

'Memos are visitations,' I informed them.

“备忘录是探访”， 我告诉他们

'They make certain points. The point is on your head.

“他们有写观点， 观点就在你脑子里，

Pat used to say that. Have you killed you anyone?'

Pat 曾经就这么说， 你杀了人吗？‘

Rebel and Val looked at me

Rebel 和Val看着我，

as if they or I had been

好像我在

splashed in the face with cold water.

他们脸上泼了冷水一样

'What are you talking about, Elyn?'

“你在说什么？， Elyn？“

'Oh, you know, the usual. Who's what, what's who,

”哦， 你知道的， 谁是什么， 什么是谁？，

heaven and hell. Let's go out on the roof.

天堂和地狱，让我们去屋顶。

It's a flat surface. It's safe.'

那是平的， 那里安全。“

Rebel and Val followed

Rebel和Val跟着我

and they asked what had gotten into me.

问我怎么了

'This is the real me,' I announced,

”这就是真正的我“ 我说

waving my arms above my head.

高高的挥着我的手

And then, late on a Friday night, on the roof

然后， 在星期五很晚的时候，

of the Yale Law School,

在法学院的楼顶上

I began to sing, and not quietly either.

我开始唱歌，很大声

'Come to the Florida sunshine bush.

”来到佛罗里达 阳光和灌木

Do you want to dance?'

你想跳舞吗？“

'Are you on drugs?' one asked. 'Are you high?'

”你嗑药了吗” 有人问， “你high了吗？”

'High? Me? No way, no drugs.

“咳？不可能， 没有嗑药。

Come to the Florida sunshine bush,

来到佛罗里达， 阳光灌木，

where there are lemons, where they make demons.'

那里有柠檬， 那里有恶魔

'You're frightening me,' one of them said, and Rebel and Val

“你吓倒我了”， 他们一个人说， Rebel和Val

headed back into the library.

回到了图书馆。

I shrugged and followed them.

我耸耸肩， 跟着他们。

Back inside, I asked my classmates if they were

回来之后， 我告诉我的同学他们

having the same experience of words jumping around

有没有同样的胡言乱语的经历

our cases as I was.

像我一样

'I think someone's infiltrated my copies of the cases,' I said.

“我觉得有人进入了我的案件” 我说

'We've got to case the joint.

“我们要把关节装起来，

I don't believe in joints, but

我不相信关节， 但是

they do hold your body together.'" --

它们能把身体连起来。－－

It's an example of loose associations. --

这就是一个散漫联想的例子

"Eventually I made my way back to my dorm room,

最终我回到了宿舍

and once there, I couldn't settle down.

到了后， 我没有办法安心。

My head was too full of noise,

我脑子里都是噪音

too full of orange trees and law memos I could not write

到处都是桔子树和我写不出来的法律备忘录

and mass murders I knew I would be responsible for.

以及那些我需要为之负责任的大规模谋杀。

Sitting on my bed, I rocked back and forth,

坐在床上， 我摇来摇去

moaning in fear and isolation."

在孤独和恐惧中呻吟。”

This episode led to my first hospitalization in America.

这次发病让我第一次在美国住院了，

I had two earlier in England.

我前两次在英国

Continuing with the writings:

继续我的笔记：

"The next morning I went to my professor's office to ask

“第二天， 我来到我教授办公室， 问

for an extension on the memo assignment,

我能不能晚点交作业，

and I began gibbering unintelligably

然后喔喔喔欧开始胡言乱语，

as I had the night before,

就像前一天晚上一样

and he eventually brought me to the emergency room.

他最后把我送到急诊室

Once there, someone I'll just call 'The Doctor'

到了之后，有一个人， 我就叫他“医生”吧，

and his whole team of goons swooped down,

和他的野蛮助手们，飞扑下来

lifted me high into the air,

把我举的高高的

and slammed me down on a metal bed

然后狠狠的摔在了一张金属床上

with such force that I saw stars.

重的我都看到星星了

Then they strapped my legs and arms to the metal bed

然后它们把我的手脚都帮起来了

with thick leather straps.

用很厚的皮带

A sound came out of my mouth that I'd never heard before:

一个我丛没有听到过的声音丛我嘴里说出来：

half groan, half scream,

一半呻吟， 一半尖叫

barely human and pure terror.

惨无人性，纯粹恐惧

Then the sound came again,

然后这个声音又出现了

forced from somewhere deep inside my belly

从我的肚子了逼出来的

and scraping my throat raw."

刮着我的喉咙

This incident resulted in my involuntary hospitalization.

这个事情导致了我被强制住院

One of the reasons the doctors gave for hospitalizing me

其中一个理由我医生给的强制住院的理由是

against my will was that I was

我严重

"gravely disabled."

生活不自理

To support this view, they wrote in my chart that I was unable

为了支持这个说法， 它们在我的档案里写说我

to do my Yale Law School homework.

不能完成我耶鲁法学院的作业。

I wondered what that meant about much of the rest of New Haven.

我不知道这对其他的纽黑文的人意味着什么

(Laughter)

（笑声）

During the next year, I would

在第二年， 我又

spend five months in a psychiatric hospital.

在医院里待了五个月

At times, I spent up to 20 hours in mechanical restraints,

有时候， 我会再机械限制中度过20小时，

arms tied, arms and legs tied down,

手被捆这， 手和脚被紧紧的捆着

arms and legs tied down with a net tied

手和脚被捆着， 而且胸前

tightly across my chest.

还有一个网子绑着

I never struck anyone.

我没有打任何人

I never harmed anyone. I never made any direct threats.

我没有害任何人， 我没有直接威胁任何人

If you've never been restrained yourself, you may have

如果你没有被限制过， 你可能

a benign image of the experience.

对这个经历有个不差的印象

There's nothing benign about it.

但是其实糟透了

Every week in the United States,

再美国， 每周

it's been estimated that one to three people die in restraints.

都有一到三个人死于这种限制

They strangle, they aspirate their vomit,

他们被缧， 吸着自己的呕吐物

they suffocate, they have a heart attack.

他们被窒息， 他们心脏病发作

It's unclear whether using mechanical restraints

不知道这种机械限制是在

is actually saving lives or costing lives.

救人还是害人

While I was preparing to write my student note

当我在耶鲁法学院刊物上给学生准备关于机械限制的

for the Yale Law Journal on mechanical restraints,

讲义时，

I consulted an eminent law professor who was also

我咨询了一位知名的法学教授

a psychiatrist,

和精神病学家

and said surely he would agree

并向他肯定了这种

that restraints must be degrading,

限制时伤人自尊，

painful and frightening.

痛苦和可怕的

He looked at me in a knowing way, and said,

他理解的看着我， 说

"Elyn, you don't really understand:

“Elyn， 你还是不明白：

These people are psychotic.

这些人又精神病。

They're different from me and you.

他们和你和我都不一样

They wouldn't experience restraints as we would."

他们不会像你我一样经历限制。

I didn't have the courage to tell him in that moment that,

我当时没有勇气告诉他

no, we're not that different from him.

不， 我们和你并没有什么不同

We don't like to be strapped down to a bed

我们不喜欢被捆绑在床上

and left to suffer for hours any more than he would.

跟他一样不喜欢在那里受苦

In fact, until very recently,

事实上， 最近

and I'm sure some people still hold it as a view,

我肯定现在还是有人觉得

that restraints help psychiatric patients feel safe.

这些限制能帮助病人感到安全

I've never met a psychiatric patient

我从来没有遇到过一个精神病

who agreed with that view.

同意这种说法

Today, I'd like to say I'm very pro-psychiatry

今天， 我非常赞成心理治疗

but very anti-force.

但是非常反对强制型治疗

I don't think force is effective as treatment, and I think

我觉得强迫没有效果， 而且对一个有严重精神病的人

using force is a terrible thing to do to another person

实施强制手段

with a terrible illness.

是很可怕的

Eventually, I came to Los Angeles

最终， 我来到了洛杉矶

to teach at the University of Southern California Law School.

在南加州法学院教书

For years, I had resisted medication,

这些年来， 我一直反对用药

making many, many efforts to get off.

为此会付出一切。

I felt that if I could manage without medication,

我感觉到我不服用药物也可以保持

I could prove that, after all,

我想要证明毕竟

I wasn't really mentally ill, it was some terrible mistake.

我精神上没问题,只不过是诊断上犯得错误而已

My motto was the less medicine, the less defective.

我的理念是服药越少,瑕疵就越少

My L.A. analyst, Dr. Kaplan, was urging me

我的分析师 Kaplan博士,当时劝我

just to stay on medication and get on with my life,

坚持服药并且就这样生活下午

but I decided I wanted to make one last college try to get off.

但是我决定我想要最最后一次尝试

Quoting from the text:

从文中引用:

"I started the reduction of my meds, and within a short time

"我开始减少我的用药量,而在短时间之内

I began feeling the effects.

我就感觉到了一些变化

After returning from a trip to Oxford, I marched into

在从牛津旅行回来后,我冲进了Kaplan

Kaplan's office, headed straight for the corner, crouched down,

的办公室,冲向角落,蹲了下来

covered my face, and began shaking.

捂住我的脸,开始颤抖

All around me I sensed evil beings poised with daggers.

在我周围我感觉到了拿了匕首的恶魔

They'd slice me up in thin slices

他们把我切成了碎片

or make me swallow hot coals.

或者让我吞下滚烫的煤球

Kaplan would later describe me as 'writhing in agony.'

Kaplan后来把我当时情景描述为"在撕心裂肺的痛苦中蠕动"

Even in this state, what he accurately described as

即使在这个状态下,他准确地描述为

acutely and forwardly psychotic,

急性神经病

I refused to take more medication.

我拒绝服用更多的药物

The mission is not yet complete.

因为任务还没有完成

Immediately after the appointment with Kaplan,

在与Kaplan的面会结束后,

I went to see Dr. Marder, a schizophrenia expert

我去看了Marder医生,一位精神分裂症专家

who was following me for medication side effects.

他是负责观察我用药的副作用的

He was under the impression that I had a mild psychotic illness.

他觉得我可能有一定程度上的精神分裂

Once in his office, I sat on his couch, folded over,

一次在他的办公室,我坐在沙发上,蜷缩起来,

and began muttering.

然后开始喃喃自语

'Head explosions and people trying to kill.

"头破血流,人们试图杀戮,

Is it okay if I totally trash your office?'

我能不能把你的办公室彻底当垃圾处理?"

'You need to leave if you think you're going to do that,'

"如果你那么想的话,你需要现在离开."

said Marder.

Marder说

'Okay. Small. Fire on ice. Tell them not to kill me.

"好吧.小一点.在冰上的火.告诉他们不要杀我.

Tell them not to kill me. What have I done wrong?

告诉他们不要杀我.我做错什么了?

Hundreds of thousands with thoughts, interdiction.'

成百上千个想法被封锁

'Elyn, do you feel like you're

"Elyn,你是不是觉得

dangerous to yourself or others?

你对自己或他人很危险?

I think you need to be in the hospital.

我认为你应该待在医院里

I could get you admitted right away, and the whole thing

我可以现在就让你被容纳进来,整个事情会变得

could be very discrete.'

十分分散."

'Ha, ha, ha.

"哈哈哈,

You're offering to put me in hospitals?

你想把我放在医院里?

Hospitals are bad, they're mad, they're sad.

医院是不好的,它们都疯了,它们都十分难过

One must stay away. I'm God, or I used to be.'"

任何一个人都得远离医院.我就是上帝,或者我以前是."

At that point in the text,

在那个情况下,

where I said "I'm God, or I used to be," my husband

当我说"我是上帝,或者我以前是"的时候,我的丈夫

made a marginal note.

在边上记了一笔

He said, "Did you quit or were you fired?"

他问:"那你是退出了还是被开除了?"

(Laughter)

(笑声)

"'I give life and I take it away.

"我创造生命然后我拿走他们,

Forgive me, for I know not what I do.'

原谅我吧,因为我不知道该做什么."

Eventually, I broke down in front of friends, and

最后,我在朋友面前倒塌了,

everybody convinced me to take more medication.

然后每个人都想说服我去继续服用药物

I could no longer deny the truth,

我在也不能否定事实了,

and I could not change it.

而且我无法改变这样一个事实

The wall that kept me, Elyn, Professor Saks,

那堵隔离我,Elyn还有Saks教授的墙

separate from that insane woman hospitalized years past,

与那个疯女人住院的年头所隔离

lay smashed and in ruins."

在废墟中倒塌."

Everything about this illness says I shouldn't be here,

任何关于此疾病都暗示我不应该在这里

but I am. And I am, I think, for three reasons:

但是我还是在这里.我觉得吧..有三个原因:

First, I've had excellent treatment.

第一,我已经有了极好的治疗了

Four- to five-day-a-week psychoanalytic psychotherapy

一周四到五次的心理分析和心理治疗

for decades and continuing, and excellent psychopharmacology.

持续了几十年,以及非常先进的心理配药

Second, I have many close family members and friends who know me

第一,我有我的家庭成员都朋友都知道

and know my illness.

我和我的疾病

These relationships have given my life a meaning

这些关系给我的人生

and a depth, and they also helped me navigate

一个意味和一个深度,他们还帮助我

my life in the face of symptoms.

在这些症状面前找到生活的方向

Third, I work at an enormously supportive workplace

第三,我在一个极具支持力的工作环境里工作

at USC Law School.

就在USC法律学校

This is a place that not only accommodates my needs

这是一个不仅仅满足我需求的地方

but actually embraces them.

而且实际上它拥抱我的需求

It's also a very intellectually stimulating place,

它也同样是一个刺激思考的地方

and occupying my mind with complex problems

能够使我的脑子充满各种复杂的问题

has been my best and most powerful and most reliable

这些都是最强有力最有依赖性的抵御

defense against my mental illness.

我精神疾病的武器

Even with all that — excellent treatment, wonderful family and

即使这些全都有---良好的治疗,融合的家庭和

friends, supportive work environment —

朋友,和谐的工作环境--

I did not make my illness public

直到很晚我才公开了

until relatively late in life,

我这个疾病

and that's because the stigma against mental illness

因为与精神疾病作斗争的烙印

is so powerful that I didn't feel safe with people knowing.

太强大了以至于我想让别人知道

If you hear nothing else today,

如果你今天啥都没听到,

please hear this: There are not "schizophrenics."

你一定得记住这一点:这些都不是"精神分裂症"

There are people with schizophrenia, and these people

而是患有精神分裂症的人们,而这些人可能

may be your spouse, they may be your child,

是你的配偶,也可能是你的孩子

they may be your neighbor, they may be your friend,

可能是你的邻居,也可能是你的朋友

they may be your coworker.

还有可能是你的同事

So let me share some final thoughts.

好吧.我就说说我最后的想法

We need to invest more resources into research and treatment

我们需要为精神疾病的研究和治疗

of mental illness.

进行更多的资源投资

The better we understand these illnesses, the better

我们理解这些疾病越到位,

the treatments we can provide, and the better the treatments

我们能提供的治疗就越先进,这样一来,

we can provide, the more we can offer people care,

我们就能给人们带来更多的关怀

and not have to use force.

而且不需要使用外力

Also, we must stop criminalizing mental illness.

而且,我们应该停止将精神疾病最恶化

It's a national tragedy and scandal that the L.A. County Jail

说洛杉矶监狱是美国最大的心理医疗机构

is the biggest psychiatric facility in the United States.

是国家的悲剧和谣言

American prisons and jails are filled with people who suffer

美国的监狱是那些被精神疾病所折磨的人

from severe mental illness, and many of them are there

占领的,而且很多人在那

because they never received adequate treatment.

是因为他们从未接受过足够的治疗

I could have easily ended up there or on the streets myself.

我当初可以轻松地沦落到大家上

A message to the entertainment industry and to the press:

一条对娱乐行业和新闻业的建议:

On the whole, you've done a wonderful job fighting stigma

整体来说,你们在与烙印和各种偏见斗争中

and prejudice of many kinds.

干得很不错

Please, continue to let us see characters in your movies,

拜托了,继续让我们在你们的电影中,你的戏剧中,

your plays, your columns,

你们的专栏中,

who suffer with severe mental illness.

看到那些受严重精神疾病折磨的人

Portray them sympathetically,

同情地描述他们,

and portray them in all the richness and depth

并且有深度地挖掘他们,

of their experience as people and not as diagnoses.

通过他们亲身的经验而不是简单的一个诊断

Recently, a friend posed a question:

最近,我朋友提出一个问题:

If there were a pill I could take

如果我手里有一片瞬间可以

that would instantly cure me, would I take it?

治好我的药片,我吃不吃它?

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke

诗人Rainer Maria Rilke

was offered psychoanalysis.

被提供了心理分析

He declined, saying, "Don't take my devils away,

他拒绝了,说到:"不要把我的邪恶拿走,

because my angels may flee too."

因为我的天使也有可能逃跑."

My psychosis, on the other hand,

而我的精神病

is a waking nightmare in which my devils are so terrifying

是一个现实的噩梦,里面的恶魔十分可怕

that all my angels have already fled.

以至于所有的天使都逃走了

So would I take the pill? In an instant.

那么我会不会吃掉那个药片了?

That said, I don't wish to be seen as regretting

我不希望被看作是对于如果我没有精神疾病我会

the life I could have had if I'd not been mentally ill,

拥有的生活所后悔

nor am I asking anyone for their pity.

而我也不是在向任何人寻求怜悯

What I rather wish to say is that the humanity we all share

我实际想说的是我们所共享的人性

is more important than the mental illness we may not.

比精神疾病要重要的多

What those of us who suffer with mental illness want

那些经历过精神疾病的人想要的

is what everybody wants:

要是其他所有人想要的

in the words of Sigmund Freud, "to work and to love."

Sigmund Freud说到:"去工作,去爱."

Thank you. (Applause)

谢谢.(鼓掌)

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

Thank you. Thank you. You're very kind. (Applause)

谢谢.谢谢.你们真善良.(鼓掌)

Thank you. (Applause)

谢谢.(鼓掌)