How to use family dinner to teach politics | Hajer Sharief

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Kristina Radosavljević

Twenty years ago,

Pre dvadeset godina,

my family introduced a system called "Friday Democracy Meetings."

moja porodica je uvela sistem pod nazivom „Demokratski sastanci petkom“.

Every Friday at 7pm, my family came together for an official meeting

Svakog petka u 19h, članovi moje porodice okupljali su se na zvaničnom sastanku

to discuss the current family affairs.

radi razgovora o aktuelnim porodičnim stvarima.

These meetings were facilitated by one of my parents,

Ove sastanke bi vodio jedan od mojih roditelja,

and we even had a notetaker.

a imali smo čak i zapisničara.

These meetings had two rules.

Ti sastanci su imali dva pravila.

First, you are allowed to speak open and freely.

Prvo, dozvoljeno vam je da govorite slobodno i otvoreno.

Us kids were allowed to criticize our parents

Nama deci je bilo dozvoljeno da kritikujemo roditelje,

without that being considered disrespectful or rude.

a da se to ne smatra nepoštovanjem ili nepristojnim ponašanjem.

Second rule was the Chatham House rule,

Drugo je bilo pravilo Doma Čatam,

meaning whatever is said in the meeting stays in the meeting.

što znači da sve što se izgovori na sastanku, ostaje na sastanku.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The topics which were discussed in these meetings

Teme o kojima se raspravljalo na ovim sastancima

varied from one week to another.

razlikovale su se iz nedelje u nedelju.

One week, we'd talk about what food we wanted to eat,

Jedne nedelje bismo govorili o tome koju hranu hoćemo da jedemo,

what time us kids should go to bed

u koje vreme mi deca treba da idemo u krevet

and how to improve things as a family,

i kako da poboljšamo stvari kao porodica,

while another meeting discussed pretty much events that happened at school

dok smo na drugom sastanku pričali uglavnom o događajima iz škole

and how to solve disputes between siblings,

i kako da rešimo sporove među braćom i sestrama,

by which I mean real fights.

a pod tim podrazumevam prave tuče.

At the end of each meeting, we'd reach decisions and agreements

Na kraju svakog sastanka, ustanovili bismo odluke i dogovore

that would last at least until the next meeting.

koje će biti na snazi bar do sledećeg sastanka.

So you could say I was raised as a politician.

Tako da se može reći da sam odgajana kao političar.

By the age of six or seven, I mastered politics.

Sa šest ili sedam godina, savladala sam politiku.

I was negotiating, compromising,

Pregovarala sam, pravila kompromise

building alliances with other political actors.

i gradila saveze sa drugim političkim akterima.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I even once tried to jeopardize the political process.

Čak sam jednom pokušala da ugrozim politički proces.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

These meetings sound very peaceful, civil and democratic, right?

Ovi sastanci zvuče kao da su vrlo mirni, građanski i demokratski, zar ne?

But that was not always the case.

Ali nije uvek bilo tako.

Because of this open, free space to talk, discuss and criticize,

Zbog ovog otvorenog, slobodnog prostora za razgovor, diskusiju i kritiku,

things sometimes got really heated.

ponekad bi postalo zaista usijano.

One meeting went really bad for me.

Jedan sastanak mi baš nije išao na ruku.

I was about 10 years old at that time,

Imala sam oko 10 godina u to vreme,

and I'd done something really horrible at school,

i uradila sam nešto baš užasno u školi,

which I'm not going to share today --

što neću izneti danas -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

but my brother decided to bring it up in the meeting.

ali moj brat je rešio da to iznese na sastanku.

I could not defend myself,

Nisam mogla da se odbranim,

so I decided to withdraw from the meeting and boycott the whole system.

pa sam odlučila da se povučem sa sastanka i bojkotujem ceo sistem.

I literally wrote an official letter and handed it to my dad,

Bukvalno sam napisala zvanično pismo i predala ga tati,

announcing that I am boycotting.

najavivši da bojkotujem.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I thought that if I stopped attending these meetings anymore,

Mislila sam, ako prestanem da prisustvujem tim sastancima,

the system would collapse,

sistem će se srušiti,

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

but my family continued with the meetings,

ali moja porodica je nastavila sa sastancima,

and they often made decisions that I disliked.

i često su donosili odluke koje se meni nisu dopadale.

But I could not challenge these decisions,

Ali nisam mogla da osporim te odluke

because I was not attending the meetings,

jer nisam prisustvovala sastancima,

and thus had no right to go against it.

i samim tim nisam imala pravo da se protivim.

Ironically, when I turned about 13 years old,

Ironično, kada sam napunila oko 13 godina,

I ended up attending one of these meetings again,

ponovo sam prisustvovala jednom od ovih sastanaka,

after I boycotted them for a long time.

nakon što sam ih dugo bojkotovala.

Because there was an issue that was affecting me only,

Jer je postojao problem koje se ticao samo mene,

and no other family member was bringing it up.

a nijedan drugi član porodice to nije pominjao.

The problem was that after each dinner,

Problem je bio u tome što su, nakon svake večere,

I was always the only one who was asked to wash the dishes,

uvek samo od mene tražili da operem sudove,

while my brothers didn't have to do anything about it.

dok moja braća ništa nisu morala da urade u vezi sa tim.

I felt this was unjust, unfair and discriminatory,

Smatrala sam da je to nepravedno, da nije fer i da me diskriminiše,

so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting.

pa sam htela da razgovaram o tome na sastanku.

As you know, the idea that it's a woman or a girl's role to do household work

Kao što znate, predstava o ulozi žena ili devojčica da obavljaju kućne poslove

is a rule that has been carried out by many societies for so long,

je pravilo koje je sprovođeno toliko dugo u mnogim društvima,

so in order for a 13-year-old me to challenge it, I needed a platform.

stoga mi je bila potrebna platforma da bih to osporila sa 13 godina.

In the meeting, my brothers argued

Na sastanku su moja braća tvrdila

that none of the other boys we knew were washing the dishes,

da ni drugi dečaci koje znamo ne peru sudove,

so why should our family be any different?

pa zašto bi naša porodica bila drugačija?

But my parents agreed with me and decided that my brothers should assist me.

Ali moji roditelji su se složili sa mnom i odlučili da braća treba da mi pomažu.

However, they could not force them, so the problem continued.

Međutim, nisu mogli da ih nateraju, pa je problem nastavio da postoji.

Seeing no solution to my problem, I decided to attend another meeting

Kako nisam videla rešenje problema, rešila sam da prisustvujem sastanku

and propose a new system that would be fair to everyone.

i predložim novi sistem koji bi bio pravičan za sve.

So I suggested instead of one person

Tako sam predložila da, umesto da jedna osoba

washing all the dishes used by all the family members,

pere sve sudove koje su upotrebili svi članovi porodice,

each family member should wash their own dishes.

svaki član mora da opere svoje sudove.

And as a gesture of good faith,

A kao gest dobre volje,

I said I'd wash the pots as well.

rekla sam da ću oprati i šerpe.

This way, my brothers could no longer argue

Tako moja braća više nisu mogla da tvrde

that it wasn't within their responsibility

da nije njihova odgovornost

as boys or men to wash the dishes and clean after the family,

kao dečaka ili muškaraca da peru sudove i da čiste za članovima porodice,

because the system I proposed was about every member of the family

jer je sistem koji sam predložila podrazumevao da svaki član

cleaning after themselves and taking care of themselves.

počisti za sobom i brine se o sebi.

Everyone agreed to my proposal,

Svi su se složili sa mojim predlogom,

and for years, that was our washing-the-dishes system.

i to je godinama bio naš sistem pranja sudova.

What I just shared with you is a family story,

Ovo što sam upravo podelila sa vama je porodična priča,

but it's pure politics.

ali to je čista politika.

Every part of politics includes decision-making,

Svaka oblast politike podrazumeva donošenje odluka,

and ideally, the process of decision-making

a idealno bi bilo da proces donošenja odluka,

should include people from different backgrounds,

obuhvata ljude različitog porekla,

interests, opinions, gender,

interesovanja, mišljenja, pola,

beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on.

uverenja, rasa, nacionalnosti, starosti itd.

And they should all have an equal opportunity to contribute

Svi bi oni trebalo da imaju podjednaku mogućnost da doprinesu

to the decision-making process and influence the decisions

procesu donošenja odluka i da utiču na odluke

that will affect their lives directly or indirectly.

koje će direktno ili indirektno uticati na njihov život.

As such, I find it difficult to understand when I hear young people saying,

Samim tim mi je teško da razumem kada čujem kako mladi govore:

"I'm too young to engage in politics or to even hold a political opinion."

„Previše sam mlad da bih se uključio u politiku,

ili čak i da bih imao političko mišljenje.“

Similarly, when I hear some women saying,

Slično tome, kada čujem kako neke žene govore:

"Politics is a dirty world I don't want to engage with,"

„Politika je prljav svet u koji ne želim da se uključujem,“

I'm worried that the idea of politics and political engagement

zabrinuta sam jer je predstava o politici i političkom angažovanju

has become so polarized in many parts of the world

postala toliko polarizovana u mnogim delovima sveta

that ordinary people feel, in order for them to participate in politics,

da obični ljudi smatraju da, ako hoće da učestvuju u politici,

they need to be outspoken activists,

moraju biti istaknuti aktivisti,

and that is not true.

a to nije istina.

I want to ask these young people, women and ordinary people in general:

Želim da pitam ove mlade ljude, pre svega žene i obične ljude:

Can you really afford not to be interested or not to participate in politics?

možete li zaista priuštiti da vas ne zanima

ili da ne učestvujete u politici?

Politics is not only activism.

Politika nije samo aktivizam.

It's awareness,

To je kada smo svesni,

it's keeping ourselves informed, it's caring for the facts.

kada se stalno informišemo, kada nam je stalo do činjenica.

When it's possible, it's casting a vote.

Kada je to moguće, to je glasanje.

Politics is the tool through which we structure ourselves

Politika je sredstvo kojim sebi uređujemo strukturu

as groups and societies.

kao grupe i kao društva.

Politics governs every aspect of life,

Politika upravlja svim aspektima života,

and by not participating in it,

i time što ne učestvujete u njoj,

you're literally allowing other people to decide on what you can eat, wear,

bukvalno dozvoljavate drugima da odlučuju šta možete da jedete i gde,

if you can have access to health care,

da li ćete imati pristup zdravstvenoj zaštiti,

free education,

besplatnom obrazovanju,

how much tax you pay,

koliko plaćate porez,

when you can retire,

kada možete u penziju,

what is your pension.

kolika vam je penzija.

Other people are also deciding on whether your race and ethnicity

Drugi ljudi odlučuju o tome da li su vaša rasa i etnička pripadnost

is enough to consider you a criminal,

dovoljni da bi vas smatrali kriminalcem,

or if your religion and nationality is enough to put you on a terrorist list.

ili da li su vaša religija i nacionalnost dovoljni da vas stave na listu terorista.

And if you still think you are a strong, independent human being

A ako i dalje mislite da ste snažno, nezavisno ljudsko biće

unaffected by politics,

na koje politika ne utiče,

then think twice.

onda razmislite još jednom.

I am speaking to you as a young woman from Libya,

Obraćam vam se kao mlada žena iz Libije,

a country that is in the middle of a civil war.

zemlje koja je usred građanskog rata.

After more than 40 years of authoritarian rule,

Nakon više od 40 godina autoritarne vladavine,

it's not a place where political engagement

to nije mesto gde je političko angažovanje žena i mladih ljudi moguće,

by women and young people is possible, nor encouraged.

niti se ono podstiče.

Almost all political dialogues that took place in the past few years,

Skoro svi politički dijalozi tokom poslednjih nekoliko godina,

even those gathered by foreign powers,

pa i oni koje su organizovale strane sile,

has been with only middle-aged men in the room.

odvijali su se u prostorijama sa isključivo sredovečnim muškarcima.

But in places with a broken political system like Libya,

Ali u mestima sa propalim političkim sistemom poput Libije,

or in seemingly functioning places, including international organizations,

ili u naizgled funkcionalnim mestima, uključujući međunarodne organizacije,

the systems we have nowadays for political decision-making

sistemi za političko odlučivanje koje danas imamo

are not from the people for the people,

nisu iz naroda za narod,

but they have been established by the few for the few.

već ih je uspostavila nekolicina zarad nekolicine.

And these few have been historically almost exclusively men,

A ta nekolicina su kroz istoriju skoro isključivo bili muškarci,

and they've produced laws, policies,

i oni su stvarali zakone, strategije,

mechanisms for political participation that are based on the opinions,

mehanizme političkog učestvovanja koji su zasnovani na mišljenjima,

beliefs, worldviews, dreams,

uverenjima, pogledima na svet, snovima,

aspirations of this one group of people,

težnjama te jedne grupe ljudi,

while everyone else was kept out.

dok su sve ostale držali van toga.

After all, we've all heard some version of this sentence:

Uostalom, svi smo čuli neku verziju ove rečenice:

"What does a woman, let alone a young person, who is brown,

„Šta to jedna žena, a kamoli mlada osoba, koja je braon boje kože,

understand about politics?"

može da zna o politici?“

When you're young --

Kada ste mladi,

and in many parts of the world, a woman --

a u mnogim delovima sveta, žena,

you often hear experienced politicians say, "But you lack political experience."

često čujete iskusne političare kako kažu: „Ali nedostaje ti političko iskustvo.“

And when I hear that,

Kada to čujem,

I wonder what sort of experience are they referring to?

pitam se na kakvu vrstu iskustva misle.

The experience of corrupted political systems?

Na iskustvo korumpiranih političkih sistema?

Or of waging wars?

Ili vojevanja ratova?

Or are they referring to the experience

Ili pod tim podrazumevaju iskustvo

of putting the interests of economic profits

stavljanja interesa ekonomskog profita

before those of the environment?

iznad interesa životne sredine?

Because if this is political experience,

Jer ako je to političko iskustvo,

then yes --

onda da -

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

we, as women and young people, have no political experience at all.

mi, kao žene i mladi ljudi, nemamo nikakvo političko iskustvo.

Now, politicians might not be the only ones to blame,

E, sad, političari možda nisu jedini krivi,

because ordinary people, and many young people as well,

jer obične ljude, kao i mnoge mlade ljude,

don't care about politics.

nije briga za politiku.

And even those who care don't know how to participate.

Čak i oni kojima je stalo ne znaju kako da učestvuju.

This must change, and here is my proposal.

To mora da se promeni, a evo mog predloga.

We need to teach people at an early age

Moramo da učimo ljude od malih nogu

about decision-making and how to be part of it.

o donošenju odluka i kako da budu deo tog procesa.

Every family is its own mini political system

Svaka porodica je sama po sebi mali politički sistem

that is usually not democratic,

koji obično nije demokratski,

because parents make decisions that affect all members of the family,

jer roditelji donose odluke koje utiču na sve članove porodice,

while the kids have very little to say.

dok se deca baš i ne pitaju.

Similarly, politicians make decisions that affect the whole nation,

Slično tome, političari donose odluke koje utiču na celu naciju,

while the people have very little say in them.

dok se narod ne pita mnogo.

We need to change this,

Moramo da to promenimo,

and in order to achieve this change systematically,

a da bi se ta promena sistematski ostvarila,

we need to teach people

moramo da naučimo ljude

that political, national and global affairs

da su politička, nacionalna i globalna pitanja

are as relevant to them as personal and family affairs.

podjednako važna za njih kao i lične i porodične stvari.

So if we want to achieve this, my proposal and advice is,

Dakle, ako želimo da to postignemo,

moj predlog i savet je isprobavanje sistema porodičnog demokratskog sastanka.

try out the Family Democracy Meeting system.

Because that will enable your kids to exercise their agency

Jer to će omogućiti vašoj deci da vežbaju preduzimanje akcija

and decision-making from a very early age.

i donošenje odluka od malih nogu.

Politics is about having conversations,

Politika podrazumeva vođenje razgovora,

including difficult conversations,

uključujući teške razgovore,

that lead to decisions.

koji vode ka odlukama.

And in order to have a conversation, you need to participate,

A da biste razgovarali, morate da učestvujete,

not sign off like I did when I was a kid

a ne da se odjavite kao ja kada sam bila dete,

and then learn the lesson the hard way and have to go back again.

da biste zatim naučili lekciju na teži način i morali da se vratite.

If you include your kids in family conversations,

Ako uključite svoju decu u porodične razgovore,

they will grow up

ona će odrasti

and know how to participate in political conversations.

i znaće kako da učestvuju u političkim razgovorima.

And most importantly, most importantly,

I što je najvažnije,

they will help others engage.

pomoći će drugima da se angažuju.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)