How to use family dinner to teach politics | Hajer Sharief

翻译人员: Nan Yang 校对人员: psjmz mz

Twenty years ago,

二十年前，

my family introduced a system called "Friday Democracy Meetings."

我的家庭制定了一个制度， 叫做“周五民主会议”。

Every Friday at 7pm, my family came together for an official meeting

每周五晚上七点，我们一家人 聚在一起进行一个正式会议，

to discuss the current family affairs.

讨论目前的家庭事务。

These meetings were facilitated by one of my parents,

这些会议由我父母中的一位组织，

and we even had a notetaker.

我们甚至还有一位记录员。

These meetings had two rules.

这些会议有两条规则。

First, you are allowed to speak open and freely.

第一，大家可以畅所欲言。

Us kids were allowed to criticize our parents

我们小孩子可以批评父母，

without that being considered disrespectful or rude.

不会被当作不尊重或者无礼。

Second rule was the Chatham House rule,

第二条规则是“查塔姆议院规则”，

meaning whatever is said in the meeting stays in the meeting.

意思是无论会议中说了什么， 都只保留在会议中。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

The topics which were discussed in these meetings

我们在会议中讨论的话题

varied from one week to another.

每周都不同。

One week, we'd talk about what food we wanted to eat,

某一周，我们讨论 我们想吃的食物，

what time us kids should go to bed

我们小孩子应该几点睡觉，

and how to improve things as a family,

如何全家人一起改善一些事情，

while another meeting discussed pretty much events that happened at school

另一周我们讨论 发生在学校里的事情，

and how to solve disputes between siblings,

如何解决兄弟姐妹之间的纠纷，

by which I mean real fights.

我的意思是真正的打架。

At the end of each meeting, we'd reach decisions and agreements

每次会议结束时， 我们会达成决定和协议，

that would last at least until the next meeting.

至少会维持到下一次会议。

So you could say I was raised as a politician.

所以你们可以说 我被按照政治家培养。

By the age of six or seven, I mastered politics.

在我六或七岁之前，就精通政治。

I was negotiating, compromising,

我谈判，和解，

building alliances with other political actors.

与其他政治角色建立联盟。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I even once tried to jeopardize the political process.

而且我甚至曾经试图 危害政治进程。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

These meetings sound very peaceful, civil and democratic, right?

这些会议听起来很和平， 民事和民主，对吧？

But that was not always the case.

但是并不总是这样。

Because of this open, free space to talk, discuss and criticize,

因为有这个开放，自由的空间 可以用来谈话，讨论和批评，

things sometimes got really heated.

事情有的时候变得非常过火。

One meeting went really bad for me.

有一个会议对我来说很糟糕。

I was about 10 years old at that time,

那个时候我大概十岁，

and I'd done something really horrible at school,

我在学校做了一些可怕的事情，

which I'm not going to share today --

我不打算今天跟你们分享这个事情，

(Laughter)

（笑声）

but my brother decided to bring it up in the meeting.

但是我哥哥决定 在会议中讲这件事情。

I could not defend myself,

我没法为自己辩护，

so I decided to withdraw from the meeting and boycott the whole system.

所以我决定退出会议， 并抵制这整个制度。

I literally wrote an official letter and handed it to my dad,

我亲笔写了一封正式信件， 交给了我爸爸，

announcing that I am boycotting.

宣布我拒绝参加。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I thought that if I stopped attending these meetings anymore,

我当时认为如果我不再参加会议，

the system would collapse,

这个制度就会瓦解，

(Laughter)

（笑声）

but my family continued with the meetings,

但是我的家人们继续了会议，

and they often made decisions that I disliked.

而且他们经常做 一些我不喜欢的决定。

But I could not challenge these decisions,

但是我不能质疑这些决定，

because I was not attending the meetings,

因为我没有参加会议，

and thus had no right to go against it.

所以没有权力反对。

Ironically, when I turned about 13 years old,

讽刺的是，当我长到 13 岁，

I ended up attending one of these meetings again,

在我抵制会议这么长时间后，

after I boycotted them for a long time.

我最终又一次参加了会议。

Because there was an issue that was affecting me only,

因为有一个问题只影响我一个人，

and no other family member was bringing it up.

而我的家人没在会议中提出。

The problem was that after each dinner,

这个问题是， 在每次晚饭之后，

I was always the only one who was asked to wash the dishes,

我总是唯一一个被叫去洗碗的人，

while my brothers didn't have to do anything about it.

而我的哥哥弟弟都不需要做。

I felt this was unjust, unfair and discriminatory,

我觉得那是不公平公正， 又有歧视性的，

so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting.

所以我想在会议里讨论它。

As you know, the idea that it's a woman or a girl's role to do household work

正如你们所知，对于做家务 是女人或女孩的职责的这种想法

is a rule that has been carried out by many societies for so long,

是长期以来许多社会 正在执行的规则。

so in order for a 13-year-old me to challenge it, I needed a platform.

所以，像我一个 13 岁的女孩 想挑战它，我需要一个平台。

In the meeting, my brothers argued

在会议中，我的兄弟们争辩道，

that none of the other boys we knew were washing the dishes,

他们认识的男孩中 没有一个洗碗的，

so why should our family be any different?

为什么我们的家庭要不一样？

But my parents agreed with me and decided that my brothers should assist me.

但是父母同意我的想法， 决定让他们帮助我。

However, they could not force them, so the problem continued.

但是，他们没法强迫他们， 所以问题还是继续。

Seeing no solution to my problem, I decided to attend another meeting

看着我的问题无法解决， 我决定参加另一个会议，

and propose a new system that would be fair to everyone.

提出一个新的制度， 对每个人都会是公平的。

So I suggested instead of one person

所以我建议，不再由一个人

washing all the dishes used by all the family members,

洗掉所有家人用的碗碟，

each family member should wash their own dishes.

而是每个人自己洗自己的。

And as a gesture of good faith,

为了表示真诚的姿态，

I said I'd wash the pots as well.

我说我也会洗掉锅子。

This way, my brothers could no longer argue

这样，我的兄弟们无法再辩解说

that it wasn't within their responsibility

作为男孩或者男人，

as boys or men to wash the dishes and clean after the family,

洗碗和打扫家里不是他们的职责。

because the system I proposed was about every member of the family

因为我提出的制度是 关于家里每个成员

cleaning after themselves and taking care of themselves.

为自己打扫和照顾自己的。

Everyone agreed to my proposal,

大家都同意了我的方案，

and for years, that was our washing-the-dishes system.

而且很多年来，我们 都用这个洗碗制度。

What I just shared with you is a family story,

我刚刚跟你们分享的 是一个家庭故事，

but it's pure politics.

但它是纯粹的政治，

Every part of politics includes decision-making,

政治的各部分包括决策制定，

and ideally, the process of decision-making

而且理想的情况下， 决策制定的过程中，

should include people from different backgrounds,

应该包括来自不同背景下，

interests, opinions, gender,

不同利益，意见，性别，

beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on.

信仰，种族，年龄等等的人。

And they should all have an equal opportunity to contribute

而且他们都应该有平等的机会

to the decision-making process and influence the decisions

为决策制定做贡献， 来影响会直接

that will affect their lives directly or indirectly.

或间接影响他们生活的决定。

As such, I find it difficult to understand when I hear young people saying,

因此，我发现很难去理解， 当我听见年轻人说，

"I'm too young to engage in politics or to even hold a political opinion."

“我们太小了还不能参加到政治中， 或者无法持有政治意见。”

Similarly, when I hear some women saying,

类似地，当我听见一些女性说，

"Politics is a dirty world I don't want to engage with,"

“政治是一个肮脏的世界， 我不想参与进去”。

I'm worried that the idea of politics and political engagement

我非常担心政治思想和政治参与

has become so polarized in many parts of the world

在世界上很多地方 已经变得两极分化，

that ordinary people feel, in order for them to participate in politics,

普通人觉得为了参与到政治中，

they need to be outspoken activists,

他们需要做直言不讳的活动家，

and that is not true.

而那不是真的。

I want to ask these young people, women and ordinary people in general:

我想问那些年轻人， 女性和普通老百姓：

Can you really afford not to be interested or not to participate in politics?

你们真的能够承担不感兴趣 或者不参与政治的后果吗？

Politics is not only activism.

政治不只是行动主义。

It's awareness,

它是一种意识，

it's keeping ourselves informed, it's caring for the facts.

它让我们保持知情， 它关心事实。

When it's possible, it's casting a vote.

可能的时候，它主导投票。

Politics is the tool through which we structure ourselves

政治是我们将自己构造成为群体

as groups and societies.

和社会的工具。

Politics governs every aspect of life,

政治控制生活中的每个方面，

and by not participating in it,

而不去参与其中，

you're literally allowing other people to decide on what you can eat, wear,

你们是在允许其他人决定 你可以吃什么，穿什么，

if you can have access to health care,

你是否可以拥有健康医疗，

free education,

免费的教育，

how much tax you pay,

你需要付多少税，

when you can retire,

当你退休时候，

what is your pension.

你的退休金是多少。

Other people are also deciding on whether your race and ethnicity

其他人也可以来决定， 是否你的种族

is enough to consider you a criminal,

足以决定你是不是罪犯，

or if your religion and nationality is enough to put you on a terrorist list.

或者凭着你的宗教信仰和国籍就 可以把你放在恐怖分子名单上。

And if you still think you are a strong, independent human being

如果你仍认为 你是一个强大，独立，

unaffected by politics,

不受政治影响的人，

then think twice.

那么请三思。

I am speaking to you as a young woman from Libya,

我作为一个来自利比亚的 年轻女性与你们交流，

a country that is in the middle of a civil war.

我们的国家正在经历内战。

After more than 40 years of authoritarian rule,

在超过 40 年的专制统治后，

it's not a place where political engagement

这不是一个女性或年轻人

by women and young people is possible, nor encouraged.

可以或被鼓励参与政治的地方。

Almost all political dialogues that took place in the past few years,

基本上过去几年发生的 所有政治对话，

even those gathered by foreign powers,

甚至是那些由国外势力召集的，

has been with only middle-aged men in the room.

房间里都只有中年男性的参与。

But in places with a broken political system like Libya,

但是在像利比亚这样 政治体系破裂的地方，

or in seemingly functioning places, including international organizations,

或者在看似运作良好的地方， 包括国际组织，

the systems we have nowadays for political decision-making

当今我们用于政治决策的系统体系

are not from the people for the people,

并不是来自为人民谋利的人们，

but they have been established by the few for the few.

而是由为少数人谋利 的少数人建立的。

And these few have been historically almost exclusively men,

而这些少数人，从历史上看， 基本都是男性，

and they've produced laws, policies,

他们建立了法律，政策，

mechanisms for political participation that are based on the opinions,

政治参与机制，基于

beliefs, worldviews, dreams,

这一群人的意见，信仰，世界观，

aspirations of this one group of people,

梦想，抱负，

while everyone else was kept out.

而其他人都没有被考虑在内。

After all, we've all heard some version of this sentence:

毕竟，我们都听过类似的一句话：

"What does a woman, let alone a young person, who is brown,

“一个女性懂什么政治，？ 更别说一个棕色皮肤的

understand about politics?"

年轻人。”

When you're young --

当你年轻时——

and in many parts of the world, a woman --

在世界上很多地方，一个女人——

you often hear experienced politicians say, "But you lack political experience."

经常会听见有经验的政客说， “但是你缺少政治经验。”

And when I hear that,

当我听见这个，

I wonder what sort of experience are they referring to?

我很纳闷他们说的是哪种经验？

The experience of corrupted political systems?

腐败政治制度的经历？

Or of waging wars?

或者发动战争？

Or are they referring to the experience

或者他们指的经验是

of putting the interests of economic profits

把经济利润的利益

before those of the environment?

放在环境的利益之前？

Because if this is political experience,

因为如果这是所谓的政治经验，

then yes --

那么，是的——

(Applause)

（掌声）

we, as women and young people, have no political experience at all.

我们，女人和年轻人， 没有任何政治经验。

Now, politicians might not be the only ones to blame,

政客可能不是 唯一应该被责怪的，

because ordinary people, and many young people as well,

因为普通人，包括很多年轻人，

don't care about politics.

都不在乎政治，

And even those who care don't know how to participate.

甚至那些在乎政治的 也不知道如何参与进去。

This must change, and here is my proposal.

这必须改变， 而以下是我的提议。

We need to teach people at an early age

我们需要让大家从小就知道

about decision-making and how to be part of it.

决策制定是什么， 以及如何成为其中的一部分。

Every family is its own mini political system

每个家庭都是一个小型政治体系，

that is usually not democratic,

通常不是民主的，

because parents make decisions that affect all members of the family,

因为父母做的决定 影响着家里所有人，

while the kids have very little to say.

而小孩子没有多少话语权。

Similarly, politicians make decisions that affect the whole nation,

类似地，政客做的决策 影响着整个国家，

while the people have very little say in them.

而人们对此也没有多少话语权。

We need to change this,

我们需要改变，

and in order to achieve this change systematically,

为了系统地实现这个变革，

we need to teach people

我们需要教育人们

that political, national and global affairs

政治，国家和全球事务

are as relevant to them as personal and family affairs.

与个人和家庭事务一样 与大家息息相关。

So if we want to achieve this, my proposal and advice is,

所以为了实现这个目标， 我的提议和建议是，

try out the Family Democracy Meeting system.

试一下家庭民主会议制度。

Because that will enable your kids to exercise their agency

因为这样使得孩子们 在很小的时候就可以

and decision-making from a very early age.

行使他们的权力和进行决策制定。

Politics is about having conversations,

政治有关对话，

including difficult conversations,

包括那些带来决策的

that lead to decisions.

艰难的对话。

And in order to have a conversation, you need to participate,

为了进行对话， 你们需要参与进来，

not sign off like I did when I was a kid

不是像我小的时候那样退出，

and then learn the lesson the hard way and have to go back again.

然后艰难地学到了教训， 不得不重新参与进去。

If you include your kids in family conversations,

如果你们让孩子们 参与到家庭谈话中，

they will grow up

他们会成长，

and know how to participate in political conversations.

知道如何参与到政治对话中。

And most importantly, most importantly,

而且最重要，最重要的是，

they will help others engage.

他们也会帮助其他人参与进来。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）