Carina Morillo: To understand autism, don't look away (with English subtitles) | TED

Prevodilac: Anđela Vučković Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović

"Look at me!"

„Pogledaj me!“

That phrase turned me into an eye-contact coach.

Ta rečenica me je pretvorila u trenera pogleda.

I'm the mother of Ivan; he's 15 years old.

Ja sam Ivanova mama, koji ima 15 godina.

Ivan has autism,

Ivan ima autizam, ne priča,

he doesn't speak,

and he communicates through an iPad,

i komunicira preko jednog Ajpoda

where his whole universe of words exists in images.

na kome je ceo njegov svet reči u slikama.

He was diagnosed when he was two and a half.

Saznali smo njegovu dijagnozu kada je imao dve i po godine.

I still remember that day painfully.

Još uvek se prisećam tog trenutka sa mnogo boli.

My husband and I felt really lost;

Moj muž i ja smo se osećali veoma izgubljeno.

we didn't know where to begin.

Nismo znali odakle da počnemo.

There was no internet,

Nije bilo interneta kao danas,

you couldn't Google information,

nismo mogli da izguglamo informaciju,

so we made those first steps

tako da su ti prvi koraci

out of sheer intuition.

bili čista intuicija.

Ivan would not maintain eye contact,

Ivan nije mogao da održi pogled,

he had lost the words that he did know,

zaboravio je reči koje je govorio,

and he didn't respond to his name or to anything we asked him,

nije se odazivao na svoje ime

niti na bilo šta što bismo mu tražili,

as if words were noise.

kao da su reči bile samo buka.

The only way I could know

Jedini način koji je postojao

da saznam šta mu se dešava,

what was going on with him,

what he felt,

da saznam šta oseća,

was looking him in the eye.

bio je da ga gledam u oči.

But that bridge was broken.

Ali, taj most je bio srušen.

How could I teach him about life?

Kako pokazati Ivanu život?

When I did things he liked, he would look at me,

Kada sam radila stvari koje se njemu sviđaju,

tada bi me gledao

and we were connected.

i bili smo povezani.

So I dedicated myself to working with him on those things,

Tako sam se posvetila da ga pratim u tim stvarima,

so we would have more and more eye-contact moments.

i svaki put je bilo sve više i više trenutaka da smo se gledali.

We would spend hours and hours playing tag with his older sister, Alexia,

Provodili bismo sate i sate igrajući se jurki

sa njegovom starijom sestrom, Aleksijom,

and when we said: "I caught you!"

i kada bismo rekli: „Ah, uhvaćen si!“

he would look around for us,

tražio nas je pogledom,

and at that moment, I could feel he was alive.

a ja sam tada, u tom trenutku, osećala da je živ.

We also hold a record for hours spent in a swimming pool.

Takođe, držimo rekord u satima provedenim u bazenu.

Ivan always had a passion for water.

Ivan je uvek imao veliku strast prema vodi.

I remember when he was two and a half,

Sećam se da sam ga, kada je imao dve i po godine,

on a rainy winter day,

jednog kišnog zimskog dana

I was taking him to an indoor pool,

vodila do zatvorenog bazena,

because even on rainy days we'd go swimming.

jer čak ni tih dana nismo prestajali da idemo.

We were on the highway, and I took the wrong exit.

Vozili smo se autoputem

i pogrešila sam izlaz.

He burst into tears and cried inconsolably, nonstop,

I tada je neutešno počeo da plače, bez prestanka,

until I turned back.

sve dok se nisam vratila na put

Only then did he calm down.

i onda se ubrzo smirio.

How was it possible that a two and a half year old

Kako je moguće

da se sa dve i po godine nije odazivao na svoje ime,

didn't respond to his own name,

yet in the middle of the rain and fog, where I couldn't see anything,

ali da je usred te kiše i magle, kroz koju nisam uspevala ništa da vidim,

he knew the exact route?

bio sposoban da savršeno prepozna put?

That's when I realized that Ivan had an exceptional visual memory,

Tada sam shvatila da Ivan ima izvanredno vizuelno pamćenje

and that that would be my way in.

i da će to biti moja ulazna vrata.

So I started taking pictures of everything,

Tako da sam počela da vadim slike svega

and teaching him what life was like,

i da ga tako učim životu,

showing it to him, picture by picture.

pokazujući mu ih, sliku po sliku.

Even now, it's the way Ivan communicates

I dan-danas to je još uvek način na koji nam Ivan govori

what he wants,

šta želi, šta mu je potrebno,

what he needs

and also what he feels.

kao i šta oseća.

But it wasn't just Ivan's eye contact that mattered.

Ali, nije bilo potrebno tražiti samo Ivanov pogled.

Everyone else's did, too.

Takođe je bio potreban i pogled drugih.

How could I make people see not only his autism,

Kako uspeti

da ne vide samo njegov autizam,

but see him the person

već da vide njega

and everything he can give;

i sve što on može da pruži?

everything he can do;

Sve što on može da uradi,

the things he likes and doesn't like,

stvari koje mu se sviđaju, a koje ne,

just like any one of us?

kao i svakome od nas.

But for that, I also had to give of myself.

Ali za to, trebalo je da i ja uradim svoj deo.

I had to have the strength to let him go,

Morala sam da imam hrabrosti da ga pustim.

which was extremely difficult.

A to mi je bilo mnogo teško.

Ivan was 11 years old,

Ivan je imao 11 godina,

and he went for treatment in a neighborhood near our house.

i bio je na svom tretmanu veoma blizu kuće, u drugom kraju.

One afternoon, while I was waiting for him,

I jedno popodne, dok sam ubijala vreme čekajući ga,

I went into a greengrocer,

ušla sam u piljaru,

a typical neighborhood store with a little bit of everything.

u tipičnu piljaru u kraju koja ima pomalo od svega.

While doing the shopping,

I dok sam kupovala,

I started talking to Jose, the owner.

počela sam da pričam sa Hoseom, gazdom.

I told him about Ivan,

Ispričala sam mu za Ivana, da ima autizam

that he had autism,

and that I wanted him to learn to walk down the street by himself,

i da bih volela kada bi on naučio da sam hoda ulicom,

without anyone holding his hand.

a da ga niko ne drži za ruku.

So I decided to ask Jose if Thursdays around 2pm,

I ohrabrila sam se da ga upitam

da li bi četvrtkom popodne

Ivan could come and help him arrange the water bottles on the shelves,

Ivan mogao da dolazi i pomaže mu da slaže police sa flašama vode

pošto je njega oduševljavalo slaganje,

because he loved to organize things.

And as a reward, he could buy some chocolate cookies,

a kao nagradu da dobije čokoladne kolačiće,

which were his favorite.

njegove omiljene.

He said "yes" right away.

Odmah mi je rekao da može.

So that's how it went for a year:

I tako je godinu dana

Ivan would go to Jose's greengrocer,

Ivan odlazio u Hoseovu piljaru,

help him arrange the shelves of water bottles

pomagao mu je da slaže police sa flašama vode,

čije etikete bi savršeno poravnao

with the labels perfectly lined up on the same side,

milimetarski sa svih strana.

and he would leave happy with his chocolate cookies.

I odlazio bi srećan

sa svojim kolačićima od čokolade.

Jose is not an expert in autism.

Hose nije ekspert što se tiče autizma.

There is no need to be an expert

Nije potrebno biti ekspert ni u čemu,

nor do anything heroic to include someone.

niti postići nikakvo dostignuće da biste uključili nekog.

We just need to be there --

Jednostavno treba da -

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

(Applause ends)

Really, no heroic deed --

Tako je, nikakvo herojsko dostignuće.

we simply need to be close.

Jednostavno treba da budemo blizu.

And if we are afraid of something

I ako nas nešto plaši

or we don't understand something,

ili ako ne razumemo, pitajmo;

we need to ask.

Let's be curious

budimo radoznali,

but never indifferent.

ali nikada ravnodušni.

Let's have the courage to look each other in the eye,

Imajmo hrabrost da pogledamo u oči,

because by looking,

jer sa našim pogledom

we can open a whole world to someone else.

možemo nekom otvoriti čitav svet.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

(Cheers)

(Ovacije)