Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel | TED

15,601,901 views ・ 2015-05-21

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μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

λ²ˆμ—­: Jihyeon J. Kim κ²€ν† : Gichung Lee
00:12
Why do we cheat?
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μ™œ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”ΌμšΈκΉŒμš”?
00:16
And why do happy people cheat?
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μ™œ ν–‰λ³΅ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”ΌμšΈκΉŒμš”?
00:20
And when we say "infidelity," what exactly do we mean?
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ λ§ν•˜λŠ” "뢈λ₯œ"은 μ •ν™•ν•˜κ²Œ 무엇을 λœ»ν• κΉŒμš”?
00:26
Is it a hookup, a love story, paid sex, a chat room,
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이것은 μ„±κ΄€κ³„μΌκΉŒμš”? μ‚¬λž‘μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°? μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ 맀좘? μ±„νŒ…λ°©?
00:32
a massage with a happy ending?
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ν–‰λ³΅ν•œ 결말이 μžˆλŠ” λ§ˆμ‚¬μ§€?
00:36
Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy,
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μ™œ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λ‚¨μžλŠ” 지루함과 μ„±κ΄€κ³„μ˜ 두렀움 λ•Œλ¬Έμ—
00:41
but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy?
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μ—¬μžλŠ” μ™Έλ‘œμ›€κ³Ό μ„±κ΄€κ³„μ˜ μš•κ΅¬ λ•Œλ¬Έμ— λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”Όμš΄λ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν• κΉŒμš”?
00:47
And is an affair always the end of a relationship?
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뢈λ₯œμ€ 항상 κ΄€κ³„μ˜ 끝인 κ±ΈκΉŒμš”?
00:53
For the past 10 years, I have traveled the globe
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μ§€λ‚œ 10λ…„κ°„, μ €λŠ” μ „ 세계λ₯Ό λŒμ•„λ‹€λ‹ˆλ©°
00:56
and worked extensively with hundreds of couples
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μƒλŒ€μ˜ 뢈λ₯œμœΌλ‘œ λ§ˆμ°°μ„ λΉšμ–΄ 온 수백 쌍의 μ»€ν”Œκ³Ό
00:59
who have been shattered by infidelity.
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상담을 ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:02
There is one simple act of transgression
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μ—¬κΈ° μ»€ν”Œ μ‚¬μ΄μ˜ 관계와
01:06
that can rob a couple of their relationship,
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행볡 그리고 κ·Έλ“€μ˜ 정체성을 μ•—μ•„κ°€λŠ”
01:11
their happiness and their very identity: an affair.
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κ°„λ‹¨ν•œ ν–‰μœ„κ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. λ°”λ‘œ 뢈λ₯œμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:15
And yet, this extremely common act is so poorly understood.
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그리고 이 ν”ν•˜λ”” ν”ν•œ ν–‰μœ„μ— λŒ€ν•œ 우리의 μ΄ν•΄λŠ” ν˜•νŽΈμ—†μ΄ λΆ€μ‘±ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:22
So this talk is for anyone who has ever loved.
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이 κ°•μ˜λŠ” μ‚¬λž‘μ„ ν•΄ λ³Έ λͺ¨λ‘λ₯Ό μœ„ν•œ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:29
Adultery has existed since marriage was invented,
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간톡은 κ²°ν˜Όμ΄λΌλŠ” μ œλ„κ°€ 생긴 λ’€λΆ€ν„° μ‘΄μž¬ν•΄ μ™”μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:33
and so, too, the taboo against it.
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κ·Έ λ•ŒλΆ€ν„° κΈˆκΈ°κ°€ λ˜μ—ˆμ£ .
01:37
In fact, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy,
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사싀 뢈λ₯œμ€ κ²°ν˜Όλ³΄λ‹€ 더 λˆμ§ˆκΉλ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:42
so much so, that this is the only commandment
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κ·Έλ ‡κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ— μ„±κ²½μ—μ„œ μœ μΌν•˜κ²Œ
01:46
that is repeated twice in the Bible:
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λ‘λ²ˆ 반볡된 계λͺ…μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€:
01:50
once for doing it, and once just for thinking about it.
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μ‹€μ œλ‘œ ν•˜λŠ” 것과 μƒκ°λ§Œν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œλ„μš”.
01:54
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
01:56
So how do we reconcile what is universally forbidden,
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ 일반적으둜 κΈˆμ§€λ˜λ©΄μ„œλ„
02:00
yet universally practiced?
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보편적으둜 ν–‰ν•΄μ§€λŠ” 것을 μ‘°ν™”μ‹œν‚¬ 수 μžˆμ„κΉŒμš”?
02:05
Now, throughout history, men practically had a license to cheat
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역사λ₯Ό 톡틀어 λ‚¨μžλŠ” 사싀상 λ°”λžŒν•„ μžκ²©μ„
02:10
with little consequence,
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인정 λ°›μ•„μ™”κ³  이에 λ”°λ₯Έ μ²˜λ²Œμ€ 거의 μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:12
and supported by a host of biological and evolutionary theories
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λ‚¨μžλŠ” 자유둭게 λŒμ•„λ‹€λ…€μ•Ό ν•œλ‹€λŠ”
02:16
that justified their need to roam,
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생물학적, 진화둠적 가섀이 이λ₯Ό λ’·λ°›μΉ¨ν•΄μ£Όμ—ˆμ£ .
02:19
so the double standard is as old as adultery itself.
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 간톡에 λŒ€ν•œ 이쀑 μž£λŒ€λŠ” 간톡 κ·Έ 자체만큼 μ˜€λž˜λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:24
But who knows what's really going on under the sheets there, right?
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ‹œνŠΈ μ•„λž˜μ—μ„œ 무슨 일이 λ²Œμ–΄μ§€λŠ”μ§€ λˆ„κ°€ μ•Œκ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆκΉŒ. κ·Έλ ‡μ£ ?
02:29
Because when it comes to sex,
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μ™œλƒν•˜λ©΄ 성관계에 μžˆμ–΄μ„œ
02:31
the pressure for men is to boast and to exaggerate,
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λ‚¨μžκ°€ λŠλΌλŠ” 쀑압감은 κ³Όμ‹œν•˜κ³  κ³Όμž₯ν•΄μ•Ό ν•˜λŠ” 것인 반면
02:35
but the pressure for women is to hide, minimize and deny,
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μ—¬μžμ˜ 쀑압감은 숨기고, 쀄이고, λΆ€μΈν•˜λŠ” 것인데
02:41
which isn't surprising when you consider that there are still nine countries
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μ•„μ§κΉŒμ§€ 9κ°œκ΅­μ—μ„œ λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”Όμ› λ‹€λŠ” 이유둜 μ—¬μžλ₯Ό
02:45
where women can be killed for straying.
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μ‚¬ν˜•μ‹œν‚¬ 수 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을 κ³ λ €ν•˜λ©΄ 그리 λ†€λžμ§€λ„ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:49
Now, monogamy used to be one person for life.
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ν˜„μž¬ μΌλΆ€μΌμ²˜μ œλŠ” 평생 ν•œ λͺ…μ΄λΌλŠ” 뜻으둜 μ“°μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:54
Today, monogamy is one person at a time.
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μš”μ¦˜μ—λŠ” ν•œ λ²ˆμ— ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄λΌλŠ” λœ»μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:58
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
03:00
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
03:04
I mean, many of you probably have said,
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λŒ€λΆ€λΆ„μ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μ•„λ§ˆ μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜κ³  μžˆμ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:06
"I am monogamous in all my relationships."
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"λ‚˜λŠ” λ‚΄ λͺ¨λ“  관계듀에 μžˆμ–΄ μΌλΆ€μΌμ²˜μ£Όμ˜μ•Ό."
03:09
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
03:12
We used to marry,
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” κ²°ν˜Όμ„ ν• λ•Œ
03:14
and had sex for the first time.
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처음으둜 μ„ΉμŠ€λ₯Ό ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:16
But now we marry,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이제 μš°λ¦¬λŠ” κ²°ν˜Όμ„ ν•˜κ³ 
03:18
and we stop having sex with others.
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νƒ€μΈκ³Όμ˜ μ„ΉμŠ€λ₯Ό 멈μΆ₯λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:21
The fact is that monogamy had nothing to do with love.
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사싀 μΌλΆ€μΌμ²˜μ œλŠ” μ‚¬λž‘κ³ΌλŠ” μ•„λ¬΄λŸ° 관련이 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:26
Men relied on women's fidelity
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남성은 아이듀이 λˆ„κ΅¬μ˜ μžμ‹μΈμ§€λ₯Ό μ•ŒκΈ° μœ„ν•΄
03:28
in order to know whose children these are,
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μžμ‹ μ΄ μ£½μ—ˆμ„λ•Œ λˆ„κ°€ μ†Œλ₯Ό 물렀받을지λ₯Ό μ•ŒκΈ°μœ„ν•˜μ—¬
03:31
and who gets the cows when I die.
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μ—¬μ„±μ˜ μ‹ μ˜μ— μ˜μ‘΄ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:36
Now, everyone wants to know
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ§€κΈˆμ€ λͺ¨λ“  μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄
03:38
what percentage of people cheat.
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λͺ‡ νΌμ„Όμ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”Όμš°λŠ”μ§€ μ•ŒκΈΈ μ›ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:40
I've been asked that question since I arrived at this conference.
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μ €λŠ” 이 νšŒμ˜μ— λ„μ°©ν•œ 직후 κ·Έ μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„ λ°›μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:43
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
03:46
It applies to you.
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이것은 μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ—κ²Œλ„ μ μš©λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:48
But the definition of infidelity keeps on expanding:
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ, 뢈λ₯œμ˜ μ •μ˜λŠ” 계속 ν™•λŒ€λ˜κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:52
sexting, watching porn, staying secretly active on dating apps.
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μŒλž€λ¬ΈμžλΆ€ν„°, 포λ₯΄λ…Έ μ‹œμ²­, λͺ°λž˜ λ°μ΄νŒ… μ•± μ‚¬μš©ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒκΉŒμ§€ λ§μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:58
So because there is no universally agreed-upon definition
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ 무엇인가에 λŒ€ν•΄
04:02
of what even constitutes an infidelity,
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λͺ¨λ‘μ˜ μΌκ΄€λœ μ •μ˜κ°€ μ—†κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ— 이에 λŒ€ν•œ 좔츑은
04:05
estimates vary widely, from 26 percent to 75 percent.
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26νΌμ„ΌνŠΈλΆ€ν„° 75νΌμ„ΌνŠΈκΉŒμ§€ ν­λ„“κ²Œ λ‹¬λΌμ§‘λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:12
But on top of it, we are walking contradictions.
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κ·ΈλŸ¬λ‚˜ 무엇보닀도 μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λͺ¨μˆœμ„ 가지고 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:16
So 95 percent of us will say that it is terribly wrong
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95νΌμ„ΌνŠΈμ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 우리의 νŒŒνŠΈλ„ˆκ°€
04:19
for our partner to lie about having an affair,
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뢈λ₯œμ„ μˆ¨κΈ°λŠ” 것이 λͺΉμ‹œ 잘λͺ» 된 것이라 λ§ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:22
but just about the same amount of us will say
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λ˜‘κ°™μ€ λΉ„μœ¨μ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ 말할 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:25
that that's exactly what we would do if we were having one.
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λ‚΄κ°€ 뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯Έλ‹€λ©΄ λ‹Ήμ—°νžˆ 거짓말을 ν•  κ²ƒμ΄λΌκ³ μš”.
04:28
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
04:31
Now, I like this definition of an affair --
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μ œκ°€ μ’‹μ•„ν•˜λŠ” 뢈λ₯œμ˜ μ •μ˜λŠ”
04:35
it brings together the three key elements:
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뢈λ₯œμ€ 3가지 μš”μ†Œλ₯Ό λ™μ‹œμ— μ§€λ‹Œλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:39
a secretive relationship, which is the core structure of an affair;
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뢈λ₯œμ˜ κ°€μž₯ 핡심적인 ꡬ쑰인 λΉ„λ°€μŠ€λŸ° 관계
04:45
an emotional connection to one degree or another;
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μ–΄λŠμ •λ„μ˜ 감정적 ꡐλ₯˜
04:49
and a sexual alchemy.
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그리고 성적인 마λ ₯μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:52
And alchemy is the key word here,
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μ—¬κΈ°μ„œ ν‚€μ›Œλ“œλŠ” 마λ ₯인데
04:55
because the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving,
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단지 ν‚€μŠ€λ₯Ό ν•˜λŠ” μƒμƒλ§ŒμœΌλ‘œλ„
05:02
can be as powerful and as enchanting
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λͺ‡μ‹œκ°„ λ™μ•ˆ μ‹€μ œ 성관계λ₯Ό ν•˜λŠ” 것과 같은
05:05
as hours of actual lovemaking.
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κ°•λ ₯ν•˜κ³  ν™©ν™€ν•œ μ „μœ¨μ„ λŠλ‚„ 수 있기 λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:09
As Marcel Proust said,
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마λ₯΄μ…€ ν”„λΌμš°μŠ€νŠΈκ°€ 이야기 ν–ˆλ“―μ΄
05:11
it's our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.
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μ‚¬λž‘μ„ ν•˜λŠ” κΉŒλ‹­μ€ μƒλŒ€λ°©μ΄ μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ 우리의 상상λ ₯λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:17
So it's never been easier to cheat,
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κ·Έλ ‡κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ— 뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯΄λŠ” 것은 κ²°μ½” 쉽지가 μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:21
and it's never been more difficult to keep a secret.
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또 뢈λ₯œκ΄€κ³„λ₯Ό κ°€μ§€λŠ” 것은 비밀을 μ§€ν‚€λŠ” 것보닀 어렡지 μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:25
And never has infidelity exacted such a psychological toll.
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뢈λ₯œμ€ 정신적인 μƒμ²˜λ‘œ μ„€λͺ…λœ 적이 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:31
When marriage was an economic enterprise,
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결혼이 경제적인 κ²°ν•©μ΄μ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
05:35
infidelity threatened our economic security.
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뢈λ₯œμ€ 경제적 μ•ˆμ •μ„ μœ„ν˜‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:39
But now that marriage is a romantic arrangement,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이제 κ²°ν˜Όμ€ λ‚­λ§Œμ μΈ ν•©μ˜μ΄κ³ 
05:41
infidelity threatens our emotional security.
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뢈λ₯œμ€ 우리의 정신적 μ•ˆμ •μ„ μœ„ν˜‘ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:45
Ironically, we used to turn to adultery --
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μ–„κΆ‚κ²Œλ„ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μˆœμˆ˜ν•œ μ‚¬λž‘μ„ μ°ΎκΈ° μœ„ν•΄
05:50
that was the space where we sought pure love.
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간톡을 ν•˜κ³€ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:53
But now that we seek love in marriage,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이제 μš°λ¦¬λŠ” κ²°ν˜Όμ—μ„œ μ‚¬λž‘μ„ μ°Ύκ³ 
05:55
adultery destroys it.
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간톡은 이것을 νŒŒκ΄΄ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:58
Now, there are three ways that I think infidelity hurts differently today.
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제 생각엔 뢈λ₯œμ΄ 우리λ₯Ό ν•΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ„Έ 가지 λ‹€λ₯Έ 방식이 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:05
We have a romantic ideal in which we turn to one person
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λŠμž„μ—†λŠ” μš•κ΅¬λ₯Ό μΆ©μ‘±μ‹œμΌœμ€„ ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒμ„ μ°ΎλŠ”
06:11
to fulfill an endless list of needs:
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λ‚­λ§Œμ μΈ 이상이 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:14
to be my greatest lover, my best friend,
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μƒλŒ€κ°€ 멋진 μ—°μΈμ΄μž κ°€μž₯ μΉœν•œ μΉœκ΅¬κ°€ λ˜μ–΄μ£ΌκΈΈ
06:18
the best parent, my trusted confidant,
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ν›Œλ₯­ν•œ λΆ€λͺ¨κ°€ 되길 비밀을 털어놓을 수 μžˆλŠ” 사이이길
06:21
my emotional companion, my intellectual equal.
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λ‚˜μ™€ 곡감해주고 μ§€μ μœΌλ‘œ λ™λ“±ν•˜κΈΈ λ°”λžλ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:25
And I am it: I'm chosen, I'm unique,
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그리고 λ‚΄κ°€ λ°”λ‘œ κ·Έ μ‚¬λžŒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. λ‚˜λŠ” μ„ νƒλ°›μ•˜κ³  νŠΉλ³„ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:29
I'm indispensable, I'm irreplaceable,
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μ—†μ–΄μ„œλŠ” μ•ˆλ  쑴재이며 λŒ€μ²΄λΆˆκ°€λŠ₯ν•œ κ·Έ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄
06:33
I'm the one.
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λ°”λ‘œ λ‚˜μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:35
And infidelity tells me I'm not.
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그리고 뢈λ₯œμ€ μ €μ—κ²Œ 그렇지 μ•Šλ‹€κ³  λ§ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:39
It is the ultimate betrayal.
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이것은 ꢁ극적인 λ°°μ‹ μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:41
Infidelity shatters the grand ambition of love.
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뢈λ₯œμ€ μ›λŒ€ν•œ μ‚¬λž‘μ˜ 좔ꡬλ₯Ό λ§μΉ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:46
But if throughout history, infidelity has always been painful,
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역사λ₯Ό 톡해 μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄λ©΄ 뢈λ₯œμ€ 항상 κ³ ν†΅μŠ€λŸ¬μš΄ κ²ƒμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:51
today it is often traumatic,
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였늘 λ‚ μ—” μ’…μ’… νŠΈλΌμš°λ§ˆκ°€ λ˜λŠ”λ°
06:53
because it threatens our sense of self.
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λ°”λ‘œ 우리의 μžμ•„λ₯Ό μœ„ν˜‘ν•˜κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:57
So my patient Fernando, he's plagued.
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제 ν™˜μžμΈ 페λ₯΄λ‚œλ„λŠ” ν”Όνν•΄μ‘ŒμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:59
He goes on: "I thought I knew my life.
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κ·Έκ°€ λ§ν•˜κΈΈ "μ „ 제 인생에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ•ˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
07:02
I thought I knew who you were, who we were as a couple, who I was.
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κ·Έλ…€, μ»€ν”Œλ‘œμ„œμ˜ 우리, 그리고 μ œκ°€ λˆ„κ΅¬μΈμ§€ μ•ˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆμ–΄μš”."
07:06
Now, I question everything."
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μ§€κΈˆμ€ 아무 것도 λͺ¨λ₯΄κ² μ–΄μš”."
07:09
Infidelity -- a violation of trust, a crisis of identity.
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뢈λ₯œμ€ μ‹ μ˜λ₯Ό μ €λ²„λ¦¬λŠ” κ²ƒμ΄μž μ •μ²΄μ„±μ˜ μœ„κΈ°λ₯Ό λΆˆλŸ¬μ˜΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:14
"Can I ever trust you again?" he asks.
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κ·ΈλŠ” λ¬»μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. "λ‚΄κ°€ 당신을 λ‹€μ‹œ 믿을 수 μžˆμ„κΉŒ?"
07:17
"Can I ever trust anyone again?"
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"λ‚΄κ°€ λˆ„κ΅°κ°€λ₯Ό λ‹€μ‹œ 믿을 수 μžˆμ„κΉŒ?"
07:20
And this is also what my patient Heather is telling me,
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이것은 제 ν™˜μžμΈ 헀더 μ—­μ‹œ
07:23
when she's talking to me about her story with Nick.
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λ‹‰κ³Όμ˜ 관계λ₯Ό 이야기 ν• λ•Œ μ €μ—κ²Œ ν–ˆλ˜ 말이기도 ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:26
Married, two kids.
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” κ²°ν˜Όν•΄ 아이도 2λͺ… μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:27
Nick just left on a business trip,
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닉은 막 좜μž₯을 κ°”κ³ 
07:30
and Heather is playing on his iPad with the boys,
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ν—€λ”λŠ” μ•„λ“€λ“€κ³Ό μ•„μ΄νŒ¨λ“œλ‘œ 놀고 μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:34
when she sees a message appear on the screen:
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κ·Έλ…€κ°€ μŠ€ν¬λ¦°μ— λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚œ
07:37
"Can't wait to see you."
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"보고싢어 μ£½κ² μ–΄"λΌλŠ” 메세지λ₯Ό λ³΄μ•˜μ„λ•Œ
07:39
Strange, she thinks, we just saw each other.
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” μ΄μƒν•˜λ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. 방금 μ „κΉŒμ§€ 같이 μžˆμ—ˆκΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ΄μ£ .
07:42
And then another message:
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곧 λ‹€λ₯Έ 메세지가 λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:44
"Can't wait to hold you in my arms."
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"λ„ˆλ₯Ό μ•ˆμ„λ•ŒκΉŒμ§€ 기닀릴 μˆ˜κ°€ μ—†μ–΄."
07:47
And Heather realizes
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ν—€λ”λŠ” κΉ¨λ‹¬μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:50
these are not for her.
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이 메세지듀은 κ·Έλ…€λ₯Ό μœ„ν•œ 것이 μ•„λ‹ˆλΌλŠ” κ²ƒμ„μš”.
07:52
She also tells me that her father had affairs,
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” κ·Έλ…€μ˜ 아버지도 뢈λ₯œμ„ μ €μ§ˆλ €λ‹€κ³  μ–˜κΈ°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:55
but her mother, she found one little receipt in the pocket,
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κ·Έλ…€μ˜ μ–΄λ¨Έλ‹ˆλŠ” μ£Όλ¨Έλ‹ˆ μ•ˆμ—μ„œ μ˜μˆ˜μ¦μ„ λ°œκ²¬ν•˜μ˜€κ³ 
07:59
and a little bit of lipstick on the collar.
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μ˜·κΉƒμ— λ¦½μŠ€ν‹± μžκ΅­μ„ λ°œκ²¬ν–ˆμ—ˆλ‹€κ³  ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:03
Heather, she goes digging,
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ν—€λ”λŠ” 계속 νŒŒν—€μ³€κ³ 
08:06
and she finds hundreds of messages,
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수백개의 메세지와
08:09
and photos exchanged and desires expressed.
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μ„œλ‘œ 주고받은 사진듀 그리고 μš•λ§μ˜ ν‘œν˜„λ“€μ„ μ°Ύμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:13
The vivid details of Nick's two-year affair
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2λ…„ κ°„ 닉이 저지λ₯Έ 뢈λ₯œμ˜ μƒμƒν•œ 산물이
08:16
unfold in front of her in real time,
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μ‹€μ‹œκ°„μœΌλ‘œ κ·Έλ…€ μ•žμ— λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚œ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:19
And it made me think:
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μ €λŠ” 이런 생각을 ν•˜κ²Œ λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:21
Affairs in the digital age are death by a thousand cuts.
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디지털 μ‹œλŒ€μ˜ 뢈λ₯œμ€ 우리λ₯Ό λ¬΄μžλΉ„ν•˜κ²Œ λ‚œλ„μ§ˆν•œλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμ„μš”.
08:27
But then we have another paradox that we're dealing with these days.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μš”μ¦˜ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 또 λ‹€λ₯Έ 역섀에 μ§λ©΄ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:31
Because of this romantic ideal,
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λ‚­λ§Œμ μΈ 이상 λ•Œλ¬Έμ—
08:33
we are relying on our partner's fidelity with a unique fervor.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λ…νŠΉν•œ 열정을 가지고 μƒλŒ€λ°©μ˜ μ‹ μ˜μ— κΈ°λŒ€κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:38
But we also have never been more inclined to stray,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이처럼 뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯΄κΈ° 쒋은 λ•Œλ„ μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:42
and not because we have new desires today,
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ μš•λ§μ„ 가지기 λ•Œλ¬Έμ΄ μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ
08:45
but because we live in an era
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μ§€κΈˆ μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ‚΄κ³  μžˆλŠ” 이 μ‹œλŒ€λŠ”
08:47
where we feel that we are entitled to pursue our desires,
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μš•λ§μ„ 좔ꡬ할 κΆŒλ¦¬κ°€ μžˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” μ‹œλŒ€μΈλ°
08:50
because this is the culture where I deserve to be happy.
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λͺ¨λ‘κ°€ 행볡할 자격이 μžˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” λ¬Έν™”κ°€ 있기 λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:55
And if we used to divorce because we were unhappy,
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κ³Όκ±°μ—λŠ” λΆˆν–‰ν•˜κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ— μ΄ν˜Όν–ˆλ‹€λ©΄
08:59
today we divorce because we could be happier.
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μ΄μ œλŠ” ν–‰λ³΅ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ μ΄ν˜Όν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:03
And if divorce carried all the shame,
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κ³Όκ±°μ—λŠ” 이혼이 μ˜¨κ°– μˆ˜μΉ˜μ‹¬μ„ 뢈러 μΌμœΌμΌ°λ‹€λ©΄
09:06
today, choosing to stay when you can leave
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였늘 λ‚ μ—λŠ” λ– λ‚  수 μžˆμŒμ—λ„ κ·ΈλŸ¬μ§€ λͺ»ν•˜λŠ” 것이
09:10
is the new shame.
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μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ ν˜•νƒœμ˜ μˆ˜μΉ˜μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:12
So Heather, she can't talk to her friends
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ ν—€λ”λŠ” μΉœκ΅¬λ“€μ—κ²Œ λ§ν•˜μ§€ λͺ»ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:15
because she's afraid that they will judge her for still loving Nick,
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μ•„μ§κΉŒμ§€ 닉을 μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜κ³  μžˆλ‹€λŠ” μ‚¬μ‹€λ‘œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μž¬λ‹¨ν•  것이 두렀웠기 λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:18
and everywhere she turns, she gets the same advice:
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μ–΄λ””λ₯Ό κ°€λ“  같은 쑰언을 λ°›μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:21
Leave him. Throw the dog on the curb.
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κ·Έλ₯Ό λ– λ‚˜. κ·Έλ₯Ό 버렀.
09:25
And if the situation were reversed, Nick would be in the same situation.
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λ§Œμ•½ 상황이 λ°˜λŒ€λΌλ©΄ 닉이 같은 상황에 μ²˜ν•˜κ² μ§€μš”.
09:31
Staying is the new shame.
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μ΄ν˜Όν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠλŠ” 것은 μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ ν˜•νƒœμ˜ μˆ˜μΉ˜μ‹¬μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:35
So if we can divorce,
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ΄ν˜Όν•  수 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
09:38
why do we still have affairs?
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ™œ μ•„μ§κΉŒμ§€ λ°”λžŒμ„ ν”ΌμšΈκΉŒμš”?
09:41
Now, the typical assumption is that if someone cheats,
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λˆ„κ΅°κ°€ λ°”λž‘μ„ ν”Όμš°λ©΄ μ „ν˜•μ μœΌλ‘œ λ“œλŠ” 생각은
09:46
either there's something wrong in your relationship or wrong with you.
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λ‹Ήμ‹ μ˜ 관계 λ˜λŠ” λ‹Ήμ‹ μ—κ²Œ 무언가 잘λͺ»μ΄ μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:51
But millions of people can't all be pathological.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 수백만의 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ λͺ¨λ‘ 같은 문제λ₯Ό κ°€μ§ˆλ¦¬ μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:56
The logic goes like this: If you have everything you need at home,
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κ·Έ λ…Όλ¦¬λŠ” 이와 κ°™μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. 당신이 ν•„μš”ν•œ λͺ¨λ“  것이 집에 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
10:00
then there is no need to go looking elsewhere,
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λ‹€λ₯Έλ°μ„œ 찾을 ν•„μš”κ°€ μ—†κ³ 
10:03
assuming that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage
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μ™„λ²½ν•œ κ²°ν˜Όκ°™μ€ 것이 μžˆλ‹€κ³  κ°€μ •ν•˜λŠ” 것이
10:07
that will inoculate us against wanderlust.
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λ°©λž‘λ²½μ—μ„œ 우리λ₯Ό ꡬ원해쀄 κ²ƒμ΄λΌλŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:11
But what if passion has a finite shelf life?
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 열정에도 μœ ν†΅κΈ°ν•œμ΄ μžˆλ‹€λ©΄μš”?
10:15
What if there are things that even a good relationship
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심지어 쒋은 κ΄€κ³„μ—μ„œλ„
10:19
can never provide?
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μ ˆλŒ€ 주지 λͺ»ν•˜λŠ” 것이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄μš”?
10:22
If even happy people cheat,
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심지어 ν–‰λ³΅ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ„ 뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯Έλ‹€λ©΄
10:25
what is it about?
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이것은 λ­˜κΉŒμš”?
10:28
The vast majority of people that I actually work with
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μ œκ°€ ν•¨κ»˜ μΌν•˜λŠ” λŒ€λΆ€λΆ„μ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€
10:31
are not at all chronic philanderers.
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λ§Œμ„±μ μΈ λ°”λžŒλ‘₯이가 μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:34
They are often people who are deeply monogamous in their beliefs,
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그듀쀑엔 λΌ›μ†κΉŒμ§€ μΌλΆ€μΌμ²˜μ£Όμ˜μΈ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ λ§ŽμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:38
and at least for their partner.
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적어도 μžμ‹ λ“€μ˜ λ°°μš°μžμ— λŒ€ν•΄μ„œλŠ”μš”.
10:40
But they find themselves in a conflict
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μžμ‹ μ΄ μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” κ°€μΉ˜μ™€ 행동이
10:43
between their values and their behavior.
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μ„œλ‘œ λΆ€λ”ͺ힐 λ•Œκ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:47
They often are people who have actually been faithful for decades,
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μˆ˜μ‹­λ…„λ™μ•ˆ μ‹ μ˜λ₯Ό 지킀며 μ‚΄μ•˜μ§€λ§Œ
10:51
but one day they cross a line
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μ–΄λŠ λ‚  μžμ‹ λ“€μ΄ λ„˜μ„ 것이라고
10:54
that they never thought they would cross,
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생각해본 적 μ—†λŠ” 선을 λ„˜κ³ 
10:57
and at the risk of losing everything.
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λͺ¨λ“  것을 μžƒμ„ μœ„ν—˜μ— μ²˜ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:00
But for a glimmer of what?
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λ„λŒ€μ²΄ 무엇을 μœ„ν•΄μ„œμš”?
11:03
Affairs are an act of betrayal,
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뢈λ₯œμ€ λ°°μ‹ ν–‰μœ„μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:06
and they are also an expression of longing and loss.
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λ˜ν•œ 상싀과 갈망의 ν‘œν˜„μ΄κΈ°λ„ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:10
At the heart of an affair, you will often find
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뢈λ₯œμ˜ μ€‘μ‹¬μ—μ„œ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ€
11:14
a longing and a yearning for an emotional connection,
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감정적 ꡐλ₯˜, μƒˆλ‘œμ›€, 자유,
11:18
for novelty, for freedom, for autonomy, for sexual intensity,
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μžμœ¨μ„±, 성적인 ν₯λΆ„μ˜ 갈망,
11:24
a wish to recapture lost parts of ourselves
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μžƒμ–΄λ²„λ¦° 우리의 일뢀λ₯Ό μ°ΎμœΌλ €λŠ” λ°”λžŒ,
11:28
or an attempt to bring back vitality in the face of loss and tragedy.
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상싀과 λΉ„κ·Ή μ†μ—μ„œ 생기λ₯Ό 되찾기 μœ„ν•œ μ‹œλ„ 등을 찾을 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:34
I'm thinking about another patient of mine, Priya,
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제 또 λ‹€λ₯Έ ν™˜μžμΈ ν”„λ¦¬μ•ΌλŠ”
11:37
who is blissfully married,
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더 없이 ν–‰λ³΅ν•˜κ²Œ κ²°ν˜Όν–ˆμœΌλ©°
11:40
loves her husband,
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λ‚¨νŽΈμ„ μ‚¬λž‘ν–ˆκ³ 
11:41
and would never want to hurt the man.
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κ·Έμ—κ²Œ μ ˆλŒ€λ‘œ μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό μ£Όκ³  μ‹Άμ–΄ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:44
But she also tells me
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λ™μ‹œμ— κ·Έλ…€λŠ”
11:46
that she's always done what was expected of her:
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항상 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ κΈ°λŒ€ν•˜λŠ” λŒ€λ‘œ ν–‰λ™ν–ˆλ‹€κ³  ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:50
good girl, good wife, good mother,
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쒋은 μ—¬μž, 쒋은 μ•„λ‚΄, 쒋은 μ—„λ§ˆ,
11:53
taking care of her immigrant parents.
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이민자인 λΆ€λͺ¨λ₯Ό 잘 보살핀 μ°©ν•œ λ”Έλ‘œ λ§μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:56
Priya, she fell for the arborist who removed the tree from her yard
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ν”„λ¦¬μ•ΌλŠ” ν—ˆλ¦¬μΌ€μΈ μƒŒλ””κ°€ μ§€λ‚˜κ°„ ν›„ κ·Έλ…€μ˜ λœ°μ—μ„œ λ‚˜λ¬΄λ₯Ό 치운
12:01
after Hurricane Sandy.
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수λͺ©μž¬λ°°μ‚¬μ—κ²Œ λΉ μ Έ λ“€μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:03
And with his truck and his tattoos, he's quite the opposite of her.
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그의 트럭과 λ¬Έμ‹ μœΌλ‘œ μ•Œ 수 μžˆλ“― κ·ΈλŠ” 그녀와 μ •λ°˜λŒ€μ˜ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:09
But at 47, Priya's affair is about the adolescence that she never had.
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47μ„Έκ°€ 된 ν”„λ¦¬μ•Όμ˜ 뢈λ₯œμ€ ν•œ λ²ˆλ„ κ²ͺ지 μ•Šμ€ μ‚¬μΆ˜κΈ°κ°™μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:15
And her story highlights for me that when we seek the gaze of another,
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κ·Έλ…€μ˜ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°λŠ” μš°λ¦¬κ°€ νƒ€μΈμ˜ μ‹œμ„ μ„ 좔ꡬ할 λ•Œ
12:21
it isn't always our partner that we are turning away from,
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λ©€μ–΄μ§€λŠ” 것은 항상 우리의 λ°°μš°μžκ°€λΌκΈ° λ³΄λ‹€λŠ”
12:25
but the person that we have ourselves become.
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우리 μžμ‹ μΌ μˆ˜λ„ μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을 μƒκ°ν•˜κ²Œ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:29
And it isn't so much that we're looking for another person,
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ λ˜λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒμ„ μ°ΎλŠ”λ‹€κΈ° λ³΄λ‹€λŠ”
12:33
as much as we are looking for another self.
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λ˜λ‹€λ₯Έ μžμ•„λ₯Ό μ°ΎλŠ” 것이라고 ν•  수 있죠.
12:39
Now, all over the world,
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μ „ 세계λ₯Ό 톡틀어
12:40
there is one word that people who have affairs always tell me.
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뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μ €μ—κ²Œ ν•˜λŠ” ν•œλ§ˆλ””κ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:45
They feel alive.
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그듀은 μ‚΄μ•„μžˆμŒμ„ λŠκΌˆλ‹€κ³  ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:48
And they often will tell me stories of recent losses --
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그리고 졜근 μžƒμ€ 것듀에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜κ³€ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:52
of a parent who died,
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λΆ€λͺ¨λ‹˜μ˜ 죽음
12:54
and a friend that went too soon,
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λ„ˆλ¬΄ 빨리 가버린 친ꡬ
12:56
and bad news at the doctor.
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μ˜μ‚¬κ°€ μ „ν•΄μ€€ λ‚˜μœ μ†Œμ‹
12:59
Death and mortality often live in the shadow of an affair,
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μ–Έμ  κ°€ μ£½λŠ”λ‹€λŠ” 사싀은 뢈λ₯œμ˜ 원인이 λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:04
because they raise these questions.
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이것듀은 μš°λ¦¬μ—κ²Œ 이런 μ§ˆλ¬Έλ“€μ„ λ˜μ§€κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:06
Is this it? Is there more?
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이게 λ‹€μ•Ό? 더 μ—†μ–΄?
13:09
Am I going on for another 25 years like this?
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λ‚΄κ°€ μ•žμœΌλ‘œ 또 25년을 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μ‚΄μ•„μ•Ό ν•˜λ‚˜?
13:13
Will I ever feel that thing again?
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이런 감정을 λ‹€μ‹œ λŠλ‚„ 수 μžˆμ„κΉŒ?
13:18
And it has led me to think that perhaps these questions
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μ•„λ§ˆλ„ 이런 μ§ˆλ¬Έλ“€μ΄
13:22
are the ones that propel people to cross the line,
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μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ 선을 λ„˜κ²Œ λ§Œλ“€κ³ 
13:25
and that some affairs are an attempt to beat back deadness,
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일뢀 뢈λ₯œμ€ μ£½μŒμ— λ§žμ„œ μ‹Έμš°κΈ° μœ„ν•œ μ‹œλ„
13:29
in an antidote to death.
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μ£½μŒμ— λŒ€ν•œ ν•΄λ…μ œκ°€ μ•„λ‹κΉŒ ν•˜λŠ” 생각을 μ €λŠ” ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:33
And contrary to what you may think,
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ μ•„λ§ˆ μƒκ°ν•˜μ‹œλŠ” κ²ƒκ³ΌλŠ” 달리
13:36
affairs are way less about sex, and a lot more about desire:
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뢈λ₯œμ€ μ„ΉμŠ€λ³΄λ‹€λŠ” μš•λ§κ³Ό λ”μš± κ΄€λ ¨λœ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:41
desire for attention, desire to feel special,
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μ£Όλͺ©λ°›κ³  싢은 μš•λ§, νŠΉλ³„ν•˜λ‹€κ³  느끼고 싢은 μš•λ§,
13:45
desire to feel important.
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λ‚˜λŠ” μ€‘μš”ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄λΌκ³  느끼고 싢은 μš•λ§λ§μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:48
And the very structure of an affair,
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뢈λ₯œμ˜ 핡심인 당신이 연인을
13:51
the fact that you can never have your lover,
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μ ˆλŒ€ μ†Œμœ ν•  수 μ—†λ‹€λŠ” 사싀은
13:53
keeps you wanting.
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계속 κ°ˆλ§ν•˜λ„λ‘ λ§Œλ“­λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:54
That in itself is a desire machine,
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κ·Έ λ‚΄λ©΄μ—λŠ” μš•λ§μ΄ μžˆλŠ”λ°
13:57
because the incompleteness, the ambiguity,
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λΆˆμ™„μ „ν•¨, κ³΅ν—ˆν•¨μ€
14:00
keeps you wanting that which you can't have.
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κ³„μ†ν•΄μ„œ μš°λ¦¬κ°€ 가지지 λͺ»ν•œ 것을 μΆ”κ΅¬ν•˜λ„λ‘ λ§Œλ“€κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:05
Now some of you probably think
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μ•„λ§ˆ μ§€κΈˆμ―€ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„ 쀑 μΌλΆ€λŠ”
14:07
that affairs don't happen in open relationships,
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ 자유둜운 κ΄€κ³„μ—μ„œλŠ” λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚˜μ§€ μ•Šμ„ 것이라고 생각할지도 λͺ¨λ¦…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:10
but they do.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:12
First of all, the conversation about monogamy is not the same
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λ¨Όμ € μΌλΆ€μΌμ²˜μ£Όμ˜μ— λŒ€ν•œ λ…Όμ˜λŠ”
14:15
as the conversation about infidelity.
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뢈λ₯œμ— κ΄€ν•œ λ…Όμ˜μ™€ 같지 μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:18
But the fact is that it seems that even when we have
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사싀 λ‹€λ₯Έ μƒλŒ€μ™€ 자유둜운
14:21
the freedom to have other sexual partners,
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성관계λ₯Ό ν•  수 μžˆμ„ λ•Œμ—λ„
14:24
we still seem to be lured by the power of the forbidden,
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ—¬μ „νžˆ κΈˆμ§€λœ νž˜μ— μ΄λŒλ¦½λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:28
that if we do that which we are not supposed to do,
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” ν•˜μ§€ 말아야 ν•˜λŠ” 것을 ν•  λ•Œ
14:32
then we feel like we are really doing what we want to.
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ •λ§λ‘œ μ›ν•˜λŠ” 것을 ν•˜κ³  μžˆλ‹€λŠ” λŠλ‚Œμ„ λ°›μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:37
And I've also told quite a few of my patients
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제 ν™˜μžλΆ„λ“€ λͺ‡λͺ…μ—κ²Œ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•œ κ²ƒμ²˜λŸΌ
14:40
that if they could bring into their relationships
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그듀이 외도λ₯Ό ν–‰ν•  λ•Œμ˜
14:45
one tenth of the boldness, the imagination and the verve
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배짱과, 상상λ ₯, μ—΄μ •μ˜ μ‹­λΆ„μ˜ 일만
14:49
that they put into their affairs,
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μ—°μΈκ³Όμ˜ 관계에 λΆˆμ–΄λ„£μ—ˆλ‹€λ©΄
14:50
they probably would never need to see me.
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μ•„λ§ˆ μ œκ°€ ν•„μš”ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:53
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
14:56
So how do we heal from an affair?
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그럼 μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ 뢈λ₯œμ˜ μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό μΉ˜μœ ν•  수 μžˆμ„κΉŒμš”?
15:00
Desire runs deep.
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μš•λ§μ€ 맀우 깊이 흐λ₯΄κ³ 
15:02
Betrayal runs deep.
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배신감도 맀우 κΉŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:05
But it can be healed.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 회볡될 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:07
And some affairs are death knells
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일뢀 뢈λ₯œμ€
15:10
for relationships that were already dying on the vine.
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이미 λ’€ν‹€μ–΄μ Έ 버린 관계에 쒅말을 κ³ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:14
But others will jolt us into new possibilities.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λ‚˜λ¨Έμ§€ 경우 μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ κ°€λŠ₯성을 찾을 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:17
The fact is, the majority of couples
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μ‹€μ œλ‘œ μƒλŒ€μ˜ 외도λ₯Ό κ²½ν—˜ν•œ λŒ€λ‹€μˆ˜μ˜ μ»€ν”Œλ“€μ€
15:19
who have experienced affairs stay together.
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관계λ₯Ό μœ μ§€ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:22
But some of them will merely survive,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 그쀑 μΌλΆ€λŠ” 겨우 μœ μ§€ν•˜κΈ°λ§Œν•  λΏμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:25
and others will actually be able to turn a crisis into an opportunity.
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λ‚˜λ¨Έμ§€ μ»€ν”Œλ“€μ€ μœ„κΈ°λ₯Ό 기회둜 λ°”κΏ€ 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:30
They'll be able to turn this into a generative experience.
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μ΄λŸ¬ν•œ μœ„κΈ°λ₯Ό μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ κ²½ν—˜μœΌλ‘œ μ „ν™˜ν•  수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:34
And I'm actually thinking even more so for the deceived partner,
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μ „ 사싀 이게 λ°°μ‹ λ‹Ήν•œ νŒŒνŠΈλ„ˆ μͺ½μ„ μœ„ν•΄μ„œ 더 κ·Έλ ‡λ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•΄μš”.
15:38
who will often say,
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ 말할 λΆ„ λ§μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:39
"You think I didn't want more?
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"λ‚˜λŠ” 더 μ›ν•˜λŠ”κ²Œ μ—†μ—ˆλŠ” 쀄 μ•Œμ•„?"
15:41
But I'm not the one who did it."
258
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λ‚œ 그런 짓은 μ•ˆν–ˆμž–μ•„."
15:43
But now that the affair is exposed,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 뢈λ₯œμ€ λ“œλŸ¬λ‚¬κ³ 
15:46
they, too, get to claim more,
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점점 더 λ§Žμ€ 것을 μš”κ΅¬ν•˜κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν•΄μ„œ
15:48
and they no longer have to uphold the status quo
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κ²°κ΅­ μ–΄μ°¨ν”Ό 잘 될 수 μ—†μ—ˆλ˜ 상황을
15:50
that may not have been working for them that well, either.
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더이상 μœ μ§€ν•  ν•„μš”κ°€ μ—†λŠ” 지경에 이λ₯΄κ³  λ§™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:56
I've noticed that a lot of couples,
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μ €λŠ” 수 λ§Žμ€ μ»€ν”Œλ“€μ΄
15:59
in the immediate aftermath of an affair,
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λ°°μš°μžκ°€ 저지λ₯Έ 뢈λ₯œμ˜ 좩격으둜 μΈν•œ
16:01
because of this new disorder that may actually lead to a new order,
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λ¬΄μ§ˆμ„œ μ†μ—μ„œ μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ μ§ˆμ„œλ₯Ό λ§Œλ“€κΈ° μœ„ν•œ κ³Όμ • μ†μ—μ„œ
16:05
will have depths of conversations with honesty and openness
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그듀이 μ§€λ‚œ μˆ˜μ‹­λ…„λ™μ•ˆ ν•˜μ§€ λͺ»ν–ˆλ˜
16:09
that they haven't had in decades.
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μ§„μ‹€λ˜κ³  μ—΄λ¦° λŒ€ν™”λ₯Ό ν•˜κ²Œ λœλ‹€λŠ” 것을 μ•Œμ•„μ°¨λ ΈμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:11
And, partners who were sexually indifferent
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그리고 μ„±μ μœΌλ‘œ λ¬΄κ΄€μ‹¬ν–ˆλ˜ λ°°μš°μžλ“€μ€
16:14
find themselves suddenly so lustfully voracious,
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μžμ‹ μ΄ μŒνƒ•ν•˜κ³  μ„±μš•μ΄ μ™•μ„±ν•˜λ‹€λŠ” 사싀을 μ•Œμ•„μ°¨λ¦½λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:17
they don't know where it's coming from.
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μ–΄λ””μ„œ λ‚˜μ˜¨ κ²ƒμΈμ§€λŠ” μŠ€μŠ€λ‘œλ„ λͺ¨λ¦…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:20
Something about the fear of loss will rekindle desire,
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μƒμ‹€μ˜ 두렀움은 μš•λ§μ„ λΆˆλŸ¬μΌμœΌν‚€κ³ 
16:24
and make way for an entirely new kind of truth.
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μ™„μ „νžˆ μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ 진싀을 ν™•μΈν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•œ 방법을 λ§Œλ“­λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:30
So when an affair is exposed,
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ λ“œλŸ¬λ‚¬μ„ λ•Œ
16:33
what are some of the specific things that couples can do?
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μ»€ν”Œλ“€μ΄ ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” 것은 λ­˜κΉŒμš”?
16:38
We know from trauma that healing begins
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 트라우마λ₯Ό 톡해 μƒμ²˜μ˜ νšŒλ³΅μ€
16:42
when the perpetrator acknowledges their wrongdoing.
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μœ μ±…λ°°μš°μžκ°€ μžμ‹ λ“€μ˜ 잘λͺ»μ„ μΈμ •ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œλΆ€ν„° μ‹œμž‘ν•œλ‹€λŠ” 것을 μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:47
So for the partner who had the affair,
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뢈λ₯œμ„ ν–‰ν–ˆλ˜ 배우자
16:51
for Nick,
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닉같은 경우
16:52
one thing is to end the affair,
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뢈λ₯œμ„ λλ‚΄λŠ” 것이 μš°μ„ μ΄μš”.
16:54
but the other is the essential, important act of expressing
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또 λ‹€λ₯Έ μ€‘μš”ν•œ 것은 μžμ‹ μ΄ λΆ€μΈμ—κ²Œ
16:59
guilt and remorse for hurting his wife.
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μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό μ£Όμ—ˆλ‹€λŠ” 죄λ₯Ό μΈμ •ν•˜κ³  ν›„νšŒλ₯Ό ν‘œν˜„ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:02
But the truth is
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 사싀
17:04
that I have noticed that quite a lot of people who have affairs
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μ œκ°€ μ•Œμ•„λ‚Έ 바에 λ”°λ₯΄λ©΄ 뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€ 쀑 λ‹€μˆ˜κ°€
17:07
may feel terribly guilty for hurting their partner,
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λ°°μš°μžμ—κ²Œ μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό μ£Όμ—ˆλ‹€λŠ” 것에 죄책감을 λŠλ‚„μ§€ λͺ°λΌλ„
17:10
but they don't feel guilty for the experience of the affair itself.
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뢈λ₯œ κ·Έ μžμ²΄μ— λŒ€ν•΄μ„œλŠ” 죄책감을 λŠλΌμ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:14
And that distinction is important.
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이 μ°¨μ΄λŠ” μ•„μ£Ό μ€‘μš”ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:17
And Nick, he needs to hold vigil for the relationship.
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닉은 κ΄€κ³„νšŒλ³΅μ„ μœ„ν•œ 기도가 ν•„μš”ν•˜κ³ 
17:21
He needs to become, for a while, the protector of the boundaries.
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λ‹ΉλΆ„κ°„ 경계λ₯Ό μˆ˜ν˜Έν•  ν•„μš”κ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:24
It's his responsibility to bring it up,
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이것은 그의 μ±…μž„μΈλ°
17:26
because if he thinks about it,
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κ·Έκ°€ 잘 생각해본닀면
17:28
he can relieve Heather from the obsession,
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이것이 헀더λ₯Ό κ°•λ°•κ³Ό
17:31
and from having to make sure that the affair isn't forgotten,
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ μžŠν˜€μ§€μ§€ μ•ŠλŠ”λ‹€λŠ” 사싀을 μƒκΈ°μ‹œν‚€λŠ” κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œλΆ€ν„° λ²—μ–΄λ‚˜κ²Œ ν•˜κ³ 
17:35
and that in itself begins to restore trust.
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κ·Έ κ³Όμ • μžμ²΄μ—μ„œ μ‹ λ’° 회볡이 μ‹œμž‘λ˜κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:39
But for Heather,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ ν—€λ”λ‚˜
17:41
or deceived partners,
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λ°°μ‹ λ‹Ήν•œ λ°°μš°μžλ“€μ—κ²ŒλŠ”
17:43
it is essential to do things that bring back a sense of self-worth,
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μžμ‘΄κ°μ„ 되찾고
17:48
to surround oneself with love and with friends and activities
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μžμ‹ μ—κ²Œ 기쁨과 μ˜λ―Έμ™€ 정체성을 λΆˆλŸ¬μ˜€λŠ”
17:52
that give back joy and meaning and identity.
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ν™œλ™κ³Ό μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό μ‚¬λž‘μœΌλ‘œ 주변을 κ°μ‹ΈλŠ” 것이 ν•„μš”ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
17:55
But even more important,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이보닀 더 μ€‘μš”ν•œ 것은
17:57
is to curb the curiosity to mine for the sordid details --
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μΆ”μ•…ν•œ 세뢀사항에 λŒ€ν•œ ν˜ΈκΈ°μ‹¬μ„ μ–΅μ œν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:02
Where were you? Where did you do it?
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λ‹Ήμ‹  μ–΄λ”” μžˆμ—ˆμ–΄? κ±°κΈ°μ„œ 뭐 ν–ˆμ–΄?
18:04
How often? Is she better than me in bed? --
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μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ 자주 ν–ˆμ–΄? κ·Έ μ• κ°€ λ‚˜λ³΄λ‹€ 잘 ν•΄?
18:07
questions that only inflict more pain,
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고톡을 λ”ν•˜κ³ 
18:10
and keep you awake at night.
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잠 λͺ»λ“€κ²Œ λ§Œλ“œλŠ” μ§ˆλ¬Έλ“€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:12
And instead, switch to what I call the investigative questions,
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λŒ€μ‹  μ œκ°€ μ‘°μ‚¬μ§ˆλ¬Έλ²•μ΄λΌκ³  λΆ€λ₯΄λŠ” 방법을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ„Έμš”.
18:17
the ones that mine the meaning and the motives --
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μ €λŠ” μ˜λ―Έμ™€ 동기뢀여에 μ΄ˆμ μ„ λ‘‘λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:20
What did this affair mean for you?
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이 뢈λ₯œμ΄ λ‹Ήμ‹ μ—κ²Œ μ˜λ―Έν•˜λŠ” λ°”λŠ” λ¬΄μ—‡μΈκ°€μš”?
18:23
What were you able to express or experience there
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당신은 κ΄€λ ¨ν•΄μ„œ 무엇을 κ²½ν—˜ν•˜μ˜€κ³  ν‘œν˜„ν•  수 μžˆμ—ˆλ‚˜μš”?
18:25
that you could no longer do with me?
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λ‚˜μ™€λŠ” ν•¨κ»˜ν•  수 μ—†μ—ˆλ˜ 것듀 쀑에 λ§μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:28
What was it like for you when you came home?
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μ§‘μœΌλ‘œ λŒμ•„μ™”μ„ λ•Œ μ–΄λ• λ‚˜μš”?
18:31
What is it about us that you value?
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당신이 μ€‘μš”ν•œ κ°€μΉ˜λ₯Ό λ‘λŠ” 것이 λ¬΄μ—‡μΈκ°€μš”?
18:34
Are you pleased this is over?
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ λλ‚˜μ„œ κΈ°μœκ°€μš”?
18:38
Every affair will redefine a relationship,
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λͺ¨λ“  뢈λ₯œμ€ 관계λ₯Ό μž¬μ •μ˜ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:42
and every couple will determine
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λͺ¨λ“  μ»€ν”Œμ€ 뢈λ₯œμ΄ 남긴 흔적을
18:45
what the legacy of the affair will be.
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ 할지 κ²°μ •ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
18:49
But affairs are here to stay, and they're not going away.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 뢈λ₯œμ€ μ—¬κΈ° κ·ΈλŒ€λ‘œ λ¨Έλ¬΄λ¦…λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ–΄λ”” 가지 μ•Šμ£ .
18:54
And the dilemmas of love and desire,
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μ‚¬λž‘κ³Ό μš•λ§μ˜ λ”œλ ˆλ§ˆλŠ”
18:56
they don't yield just simple answers of black and white and good and bad,
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λ‹¨μˆœνžˆ ν‘λ°±μ΄λ‚˜ μ’‹κ³  λ‚˜μ¨μœΌλ‘œ λ‹΅ν•  수 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:02
and victim and perpetrator.
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ν”Όν•΄μžλ‚˜ κ°€ν•΄μžλ‚˜ λ§ˆμ°¬κ°€μ§€μ£ .
19:06
Betrayal in a relationship comes in many forms.
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κ΄€κ³„μ˜ 배신은 λ‹€μ–‘ν•œ ν˜•νƒœλ‘œ λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:10
There are many ways that we betray our partner:
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μƒλŒ€λ₯Ό λ°°μ‹ ν•˜λŠ” 방법은 λ§ŽμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:12
with contempt, with neglect,
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μƒλŒ€λ₯Ό κ²½λ©Έν•˜κ±°λ‚˜ λ©Έμ‹œν•˜κ±°λ‚˜
19:14
with indifference, with violence.
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λ¬΄μ‹œν•˜κ±°λ‚˜ 폭λ ₯적으둜 λŒ€ν•  μˆ˜λ„ 있죠.
19:17
Sexual betrayal is only one way to hurt a partner.
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κ°„μŒμ€ μƒλŒ€μ—κ²Œ μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό μ£ΌλŠ” ν•˜λ‚˜μ˜ 방법일 λΏμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:21
In other words, the victim of an affair
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λ‹€μ‹œ λ§ν•˜μžλ©΄ 뢈λ₯œμ˜ ν”Όν•΄μžκ°€
19:24
is not always the victim of the marriage.
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항상 결혼의 ν”Όν•΄μžκ°€ λ˜λŠ” 것은 μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:29
Now, you've listened to me,
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ€ 제 강연을 λ“€μœΌμ…¨κ³ 
19:32
and I know what you're thinking:
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μ „ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ 무슨 생각을 ν•˜μ‹œλŠ”μ§€ μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:34
She has a French accent, she must be pro-affair.
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μ € μ—¬μžλŠ” ν”„λž‘μŠ€μ‹ 얡양을 κ°€μ‘Œκ³  뢈λ₯œ μ°¬μ„±μ£Όμ˜μžλΌκ³  μƒκ°ν•˜μ‹€ κ²ƒμ„μš”.
19:38
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
19:43
So, you're wrong.
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ€ ν‹€λ ΈμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:45
I am not French.
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μ „ ν”„λž‘μŠ€ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
19:47
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
19:50
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
19:53
And I'm not pro-affair.
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뢈λ₯œμ„ μ°¬μ„±ν•˜μ§€λ„ μ•Šμ£ .
19:56
But because I think that good can come out of an affair,
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단지 뢈λ₯œμ—μ„œλ„ 쒋은 것을 λŒμ–΄λ‚Ό 수 μžˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•˜κΈ°μ—
20:01
I have often been asked this very strange question:
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μ €λŠ” μ’…μ’… 이런 μ΄μƒν•œ μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„ λ°›μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:04
Would I ever recommend it?
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μ œκ°€ 뢈λ₯œμ„ μΆ”μ²œν•  κΊΌλƒκ΅¬μš”?
20:07
Now, I would no more recommend you have an affair
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μ €λŠ” μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„κ»˜ 암에 κ±Έλ¦¬λŠ” κ²ƒλ§ŒνΌμ΄λ‚˜
20:10
than I would recommend you have cancer,
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뢈λ₯œμ„ 저지λ₯΄λŠ” 것을 μΆ”μ²œν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:13
and yet we know that people who have been ill
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κ·ΈλŸ¬λ‚˜ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ•„νŒŒλ³Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄
20:15
often talk about how their illness has yielded them a new perspective.
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μ’…μ’… 고톡을 톡해 μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ μ‹œκ°μ„ κ°€μ§€κ²Œ λ˜μ—ˆλ‹€κ³  μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜λŠ” κ±Έ μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:20
The main question that I've been asked since I arrived at this conference
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μ œκ°€ μ—¬κΈ° λ„μ°©ν•œ μ΄ν›„λ‘œ 받은 주된 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€
20:23
when I said I would talk about infidelity is, for or against?
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뢈λ₯œμ— μ°¬μ„±ν•˜λŠ”μ§€ λ°˜λŒ€ν•˜λŠ”μ§€μ˜€μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:28
I said, "Yes."
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μ €λŠ” "λ„€"라고 λ§ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:30
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
20:33
I look at affairs from a dual perspective:
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μ €λŠ” 뢈λ₯œμ„ 이쀑적인 κ΄€μ μ—μ„œ λ΄…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:37
hurt and betrayal on one side,
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ν•œμͺ½μ€ μƒμ²˜μ™€ λ°°μ‹ 
20:41
growth and self-discovery on the other --
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λ‹€λ₯Έ ν•œμͺ½μ€ μ„±μž₯κ³Ό μžμ•„ λ°œκ²¬μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:44
what it did to you, and what it meant for me.
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ λ‹Ήμ‹ μ—κ²Œ μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ ν–ˆκ³  λ‚˜μ—κ²Œ μ–΄λ–€ μ˜λ―ΈμΈμ§€λ₯Όμš”.
20:48
And so when a couple comes to me in the aftermath of an affair
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뢈λ₯œμ΄ 발각된 직후
20:53
that has been revealed,
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μ»€ν”Œλ“€μ΄ μ €λ₯Ό μ°Ύμ•„μ˜¬ λ•Œ
20:55
I will often tell them this:
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μ €λŠ” κ·Έλ“€μ—κ²Œ λŒ€λΆ€λΆ„ μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ 말할 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
20:57
Today in the West,
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μ˜€λŠ˜λ‚  μ„œμ–‘μ—λŠ”
20:59
most of us are going to have two or three relationships
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λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ λ‘μ„Έλ²ˆμ˜ μ—°μ• λ‚˜
21:04
or marriages,
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κ²°ν˜Όμ„ ν•˜κ²Œλ  것이고
21:06
and some of us are going to do it with the same person.
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우리 쀑 μΌλΆ€λŠ” 그것을 λ™μΌν•œ μ‚¬λžŒκ³Ό ν•˜κ²Œ 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
21:10
Your first marriage is over.
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λ‹Ήμ‹ μ˜ 첫번째 κ²°ν˜Όμ€ 끝이 λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
21:13
Would you like to create a second one together?
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λ‹Ήμ‹ μ˜ λ‘λ²ˆμ§Έλ₯Ό ν•¨κ»˜ λ§Œλ“€μ–΄κ°€λŠ” 것은 μ–΄λ–¨κΉŒμš”?
21:17
Thank you.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
21:18
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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