David Pogue: A 4-minute medley on the music wars

譯者: Bill Hsiung 審譯者: Curtis Lo

Ladies and gentlemen,

各位先生，各位女士，

the history of music and television on the Internet

網路上的電視與音樂歷史

in three minutes.

在三分鐘內完整呈現。

A TED medley --

一個 TED 旋律。

a TEDley.

一個「泰迪律」。

♫ It's nine o' clock on a Saturday ♫

♫ 一個星期六晚上的九點鐘 ♫

♫ The record store's closed for the night ♫

♫ 唱片行已經打烊了 ♫

♫ So I fire up the old iTunes music store ♫

♫ 所以我打開老梗的 iTunes 線上音樂商店 ♫

♫ And soon I am feelin' all right ♫

♫ 很快的我的心情就變好了 ♫

♫ I know Steve Jobs can find me a melody ♫

♫ 我知道史帝夫•喬布斯可以為我找到一首歌 ♫

♫ With one dollar pricing that rocks ♫

♫ 只要一美元卻超酷的歌 ♫

♫ I can type in the track and get album names back ♫

♫ 只需鍵入曲目，我就可以知道專輯名稱 ♫

♫ While still in my PJs and socks ♫

♫ 而我仍穿著睡衣和溫暖的襪子 ♫

♫ Sell us a song, you're the music man ♫

♫ 音樂人呀～賣我們歌吧～ ♫

♫ My iPod's still got 10 gigs to go ♫

♫ 我的 iPod 還有 10G 的空間 ♫

♫ Yes, we might prefer more compatibility ♫

♫ 是的，如果有更多相容性會更好 ♫

♫ But Steve likes to run the whole show ♫

♫ 但是史帝夫喜歡當老大 ♫

♫ I heard "Desperate Housewives" was great last night ♫

♫ 我聽說昨晚的慾望師奶影集很棒 ♫

♫ But I had a bad piece of cod ♫

♫ 但是我昨晚吃鱈魚排食物中毒了 ♫

♫ As I threw up my meal, I thought, "It's no big deal" ♫

♫ 當我昨晚在吐的時候，心想：「這沒什麼大不了」 ♫

♫ I'll watch it tonight on my 'Pod ♫

♫ 我今天晚上在我的 iPod 上面看就好了 ♫

♫ And now all of the networks are joining in ♫

♫ 現在所有電視網路的節目都可以收看 ♫

♫ Two bucks a show without ads ♫

♫ 一集兩美元還沒有廣告 ♫

♫ It's a business those guys always wanted to try ♫

♫ 這是那些傢伙一直都想做的生意 ♫

♫ But only Steve Jobs had the 'nads ♫

♫ 但是只有史帝夫•喬布斯夠屌 ♫

♫ They say we're young, don't watch TV ♫

♫ 他們說我們年輕人不看電視 ♫

♫ They say the Internet is all we see ♫

♫ 他們說網路就是我們的全部 ♫

♫ But that's not true; they've got it wrong ♫

♫ 但這不是事實，他們全都搞錯了 ♫

♫ See, all our shows are just two minutes long ♫

♫ 因為，我們看的節目都只有兩分鐘 ♫

♫ Hey ♫

♫ 嘿 ♫

♫ I got YouTube ♫

♫ 我有 YouTube ♫

♫ I got YouTube ♫

♫ 我有 YouTube ♫

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

現在，各位先生，各位女士...

a tribute to the Recording Industry Association of America --

向美國唱片業工會致敬，

the RIAA!

有名的 RIAA!

♫ Young man, you were surfin' along ♫

♫ 年輕人，你獨自在上網 ♫

♫ And then, young man, you downloaded a song ♫

♫ 然後，年輕人，你下載了一首歌 ♫

♫ And then, dumb man, copied it to your 'Pod ♫

♫ 然後，笨蛋，把它複製到你的 iPod 中 ♫

♫ Then a phone call came to tell you ... ♫

♫ 然後你就接到了一通電話 ♫

♫ You've just been sued by the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 你剛剛被 R~I~A~A 告了 ♫

♫ You've just been screwed by the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 你剛剛被 R~I~A~A 搞了 ♫

♫ Their attorneys say you committed a crime ♫

♫ 他們的律師說你犯罪了 ♫

♫ And there'd better not be a next time ♫

♫ 最好別有下次 ♫

♫ They've lost their minds at the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 在 R~I~A~A 他們都瘋了 ♫

♫ Justice is blind at the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 在 R~I~A~A 正義是盲目的 ♫

♫ You're depriving the bands ♫

♫ 你在掠奪樂團 ♫

♫ You are learning to steal ♫

♫ 你正學會偷竊 ♫

♫ You can't do whatever you feel ♫

♫ 你不能隨心所欲 ♫

♫ CD sales have dropped every year ♫

♫ CD 銷售量逐年下降 ♫

♫ They're not greedy, they're just quaking with fear ♫

♫ 他們不貪心，他們只是怕得發抖 ♫

♫ Yes indeedy, what if their end is near ♫

♫ 是的，是真的，如果他們的末日近了 ♫

♫ And we download all our music ♫

♫ 然後我們可以任意下載他們的音樂 ♫

♫ Yeah, that would piss off the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 是的，這會惹火了 R~I~A~A ♫

♫ No plastic discs from the R-I-A-A ♫

♫ 再也沒有從 R~I~A~A 來的塑膠碟片了 ♫

♫ What a way to make friends ♫

♫ 這真是一個交朋友的好方法 ♫

♫ It's a plan that can't fail ♫

♫ 絕不會失敗 ♫

♫ All your customers off to jail ♫

♫ 所有的客戶都進了監牢 ♫

♫ Who'll be next for the R-I-A-A? ♫

♫ R~I~A~A 下一個會找誰麻煩？ ♫

♫ What else is vexing the R-I-A-A? ♫

♫ 什麼還會讓 R~I~A~A 傷腦筋？ ♫

♫ Maybe whistling a tune ♫

♫ 也許吹口哨？ ♫

♫ Maybe humming along ♫

♫ 也許哼首歌？ ♫

♫ Maybe mocking 'em in a song ♫

♫ 或許在歌裡嘲諷他們？ ♫