Jill Shargaa: Please, please, people. Let's put the 'awe' back in 'awesome'

譯者: Chia-Yun Hu 審譯者: Bighead Ge

How many times have you used the word "awesome" today?

你今天總共說了幾次 “厲害”？

Once? Twice? Seventeen times?

一次？兩次？十七次？

Do you remember what you were describing

你還記得當時是在描述甚麼

when you used the word?

而用了那個詞嗎？

No, I didn't think so, because it's come down to this, people:

不，我不這麼認為。

因為說到了這個，結論是

You're using the word incorrectly,

各位，你用它的方式是錯誤的。

and tonight I hope to show you

而我今晚希望教你

how to put the "awe" back in "awesome."

該如何重拾 “厲害” 中，“厲” 的含意 (Awesome)。

Recently, I was dining at an outdoor cafe,

最近我去了間露天餐廳，

and the server came up to our table,

有位服務生來到了 我們用餐的桌子，

and asked us if we had dined there before,

問我們是否來過。

and I said, "Yes, yes, we have."

我回答，“是，是，我們曾經來過”

And she said, "Awesome."

他回答我，“厲害”。

And I thought, "Really?

我心想 “真的嗎？

Awesome or just merely good

厲害？還是只是很好

that we decided to visit your restaurant again?"

我們決定再次光顧你的餐廳？”

The other day, one of my coworkers asked me

另一天，一個同事問我，

if I could save that file as a PDF,

我能不能把那個資料存為PDF檔。

and I said, "Well, of course," and he said, "Awesome."

我說 “那當然了”，他也說 “厲害”。

Seriously, can saving anything as a PDF

說真的，存檔這樣的事

be awesome?

真的值得說 “厲害” 嗎？

Sadly, the frequent overuse of the word "awesome"

可惜，由於我們經常濫用 “厲害”

has now replaced words like "great" and "thank you."

它的定義已經成為了

“真好” 或是 “謝謝” 等詞。

So Webster's dictionary defines the word "awesome"

韋氏字典將 “厲害” (awesome) 解釋為

as fear mingled with admiration or reverence,

恐懼夾雜著愛慕或敬畏的感覺，

a feeling produced by something majestic.

一種宏偉事物所產生出來的感覺。

Now, with that in mind,

現在，想想看，

was your Quiznos sandwich awesome?

你的 Quiznos 三明治厲害嗎？

How about that parking space? Was that awesome?

那個停車位呢？它厲害嗎？

Or that game the other day? Was that awesome?

還是前幾天的那場球賽？它厲害嗎？

The answer is no, no and no.

答案是不是，不是，和不是。

A sandwich can be delicious,

一份三明治可以很美味，

that parking space can be nearby,

停車位能是很靠近，

and that game can be a blowout,

球賽可以是很激烈，

but not everything can be awesome.

但不是所有的事都很厲害。

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

So when you use the word "awesome"

所以當你使用“厲害”

to describe the most mundane of things,

去描述生活中的瑣事

you're taking away the very power of the word.

你便是在帶走這詞的力量。

This author says, "Snowy days

這位作家說 “下雪天

or finding money in your pants is awesome."

或是在你的褲袋裡找到錢是厲害。”

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

Um, no, it is not,

呃，不，並不是，

and we need to raise the bar for this poor schmuck. (Laughter)

我們要幫這個蠢材提高標準 （笑聲）

So in other words, if you have everything, you value nothing.

換句話說，當你擁有所有，

你也就甚麼都不珍惜。

It's a lot like drinking from a firehose

這個道理就像是喝消防帶的水，

like this jackass right here.

跟這個白痴一樣。

There's no dynamic, there's no highs or lows,

沒有激情， 亦沒有高低起伏之分，

if everything is awesome.

如果所有的事情都很厲害。

Ladies and gentlemen, here are 10 things

女士先生們，這裡有十樣

that are truly awesome.

真正厲害的事情。

Imagine, if you will, having to schlep

試著想像自己必須將

everything on your back.

所有的東西背在身上，

Wouldn't this be easier for me

如果我能將這些東西滾回家

if I could roll this home?

不是更加容易嗎？

Yes, so I think I'll invent the wheel.

是阿，所以我要發明輪子，

The wheel, ladies and gentlemen.

輪子啊，各位女士先生。

Is the wheel awesome? Say it with me.

輪子是否厲害呢？跟我一起說

Yes, the wheel is awesome!

是的，輪子真的很厲害！

The Great Pyramids were the tallest

胡夫金字塔是

man-made structure in the world

世界上最高的人為建築，

for 4,000 years.

這個紀錄維持了四千年。

Pharaoh had his slaves move millions of blocks

法老王命奴隸搬動上百萬顆石頭

just to this site to erect a big freaking headstone.

全為了立起一個巨大基石。

Were the Great Pyramids awesome?

這些金字塔厲害嗎？

Yes, the pyramids were awesome.

是，這些金字塔非常厲害。

The Grand Canyon. Come on.

大峽谷。拜託。

It's almost 80 million years old.

它已將近八千萬歲了。

Is the Grand Canyon awesome?

大峽谷厲害嗎？

Yes, the Grand Canyon is.

是的，大峽谷是。

Louis Daguerre invented photography in 1829,

路易·達蓋爾在1892年發明攝影，

and earlier today,

今天稍早，

when you whipped out your smartphone

當你拿出智慧型手機

and you took a shot of your awesome sandwich,

照了你那厲害的三明治時

and you know who you are —

你知道你是誰 —

(Laughter) —

（笑聲）—

wasn't that easier than exposing the image

是否比將照片暴露於鋪著銀的銅板

to copper plates coated with iodized silver?

要來的簡單很多？

I mean, come on. Is photography awesome?

我是說，拜託。攝影厲害嗎？

Yes, photography is awesome.

是的，攝影很厲害。

D-Day, June 6, 1944,

1944年6月6日，諾曼底登陸日

the Allied invasion of Normandy,

盟軍聯合襲擊法國諾曼底

the largest amphibious invasion in world history.

迄今為規模最大的戰役。

Was D-Day awesome? Yes, it was awesome.

登陸日厲害嗎？是的，它非常厲害。

Did you eat food today? Did you eat?

你今天吃過了嗎？

Then you can thank the honeybee, that's the one,

你可以感謝蜜蜂，就是它，

because if crops aren't pollinated, we can't grow food,

要不是牠們傳播花粉， 我們也就不能農耕，

and then we're all going to die.

我們便會全數陣亡。

It's just like that.

就是這樣，

But it's not like a flower can just get up

花朵不能自行起來

and have sex with another flower,

和另一朵花性交，

although that would be awesome.

雖然那樣會是很厲害。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Bees are awesome. Are you kidding me?

蜜蜂很厲害。你開玩笑嗎？

Landing on the moon! Come on!

在月球上登陸！拜託！

Apollo 11. Are you kidding me?

阿波羅十一號。你在開我的玩笑嗎？

Sixty-six years after the Wright Brothers

萊特兄弟在北卡羅萊納州的基蒂·霍克

took off from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina,

飛行的六十六年後，

Neil Armstrong was 240,000 miles away.

尼爾·阿姆斯壯已經 離地球二十四萬里遠了。

That's like from here to the moon.

這就好似這裡和月球間的距離。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That's one small step for a man,

一個男人的一小步，

one giant leap for awesome!

是厲害的一大步！

You're damn right, it was.

沒有錯，就是它。

Woodstock, 1969: Rolling Stone Magazine said

1969年滾石雜誌說 胡士托音樂節

this changed the history of rock and roll.

改變了搖滾史。

Tickets were only 24 dollars back then.

當時門票一張才僅僅二十四元。

You can't even buy a freaking t-shirt for that now.

現在你根本連一件T恤也買不到。

Jimi Hendrix's version of "The Star-Spangled Banner"

其中吉米·罕醉克斯所翻唱的《星條旗》

was the most iconic.

最具代表性。

Was Woodstock awesome? Yes, it was awesome.

胡士托音樂節厲害嗎？ 是的，它很厲害。

Sharks! They're at the top of the food chain.

鯊魚！牠們在食物鏈的最頂端。

Sharks have multiple rows of teeth

鯊魚有好幾排生長在

that grow in their jaw

下顎的牙齒

and they move forward like a conveyor belt.

像輸送帶一樣向前推進。

Some sharks can lose 30,000 teeth in their lifetime.

有些鯊魚一生能掉三萬顆牙。

Does awesome inspire fear?

這樣“厲害”是否就有了“厲”？

Oh, hell yeah, sharks are awesome!

喔，對極了，鯊魚是很厲害！

The Internet was born in 1982

網路始於1982年，

and it instantly took over global communication,

當下它改變了全球溝通系統，

and later tonight, when all these PowerPoints

今天晚間，當這些簡報

are uplifted to the Internet

被上傳到網路時，

so that a guy in Siberia can get drunk

這樣某個西伯利亞人 就能喝醉，

and watch this crap,

看這一堆廢話。

the Internet is awesome.

網路真的非常厲害。

And finally, finally some of you can't wait

還有，還有， 你們裏面有些人

to come up and tell me how awesome my PowerPoint was.

正等不及想跟我說 我的簡報是有多麼的厲害。

I will save you the time.

不過免了，

It was not awesome, but it was true,

因爲這並不厲害， 而是真實。

and I hope it was entertaining,

而我希望它給你歡樂，

and out of all the audiences I've ever had,

在我所擁有的觀衆當中，

y'all are the most recent. Thank you and good night.

你們是最近期的，謝謝，晚安。

(Applause)

（掌聲）