How I fail at being disabled | Susan Robinson

翻译人员: Wei Wu 校对人员: Emma Wu

I'd like to introduce you to my mom.

我想向各位介绍我的妈妈。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I'm guessing that's not what you expected,

我猜这不是你们料到的，

and it's not what I expected either,

其实这也不是我料到的，

and thank goodness I realized that an Asian man was not my mom

谢天谢地，在我打算拥抱他之前， 我意识到了这位亚洲男子

before I hugged him,

不是我的妈妈，

because that would have been so awkward.

不然的话那就太尴尬了。

Recognizing people isn't one of my strengths

我并不擅长认出 人们谁是谁

due to a genetic visual impairment that has no correction or cure.

因为我患有先天性的视觉障碍， 无法治疗或矫正。

As a result, I am legally blind,

所以，我是一个盲人，

though I prefer "partially sighted" because it's more optimistic.

但是我更喜欢“有限视力”这个说法 因为听上去更乐观一些。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I'm entitled to the label "disabled."

我带着“残疾”的标签。

I hate the word disabled when it's used to describe people.

我讨厌“残疾”这个词，当它用来 描述人的时候。

It detonates a mindset of less than

这个词引发了一种思维定势

that utterly disregards capacity,

（人的）能力、潜力

ability, potential,

和实力被完全忽视了，

instead prioritizing brokenness

取而代之的是对残缺和

and lack.

坏损部分的强调。

The perspective can be overt.

这个观念是很明显的。

What can't he do for himself that I'm going to have to do for him?

他有哪些事情做不了， 我可以去帮他做的？

She'll probably need some accommodation

她可能会需要一些帮助，

that no other employee at this business needs.

而做同样事情的其他雇员 是不需要的。

Sometimes, the hidden bias

有时候，这种隐藏的偏见

is so sweetly conveyed.

是用很暖心的语言传达的。

"Wow, Susan,

“哇哦，苏珊，

look at everything you've done in your career and your life.

看看你在工作和生活中 做出的这些成绩。

How did you do all of that and be visually impaired?"

你是怎么能够在眼睛看不见的 情况下做到这些成就？”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I fail at being disabled.

作为残疾人我不称职。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So in the spirit of incentivizing the rampant failure

所以为了向全世界的（残疾）人 传递这种相当成功的

of people all over the world

不称职的精神

and enticing the so-called normal to just give it a rest already,

并且诱使这所谓的正常人们 能够长舒一口气，

here are five tips

这里有五条技巧

to fail at being disabled.

让你成为不称职的残疾人。

Tip one:

技巧一：

know your superpowers.

发现你的超能力。

The best team I ever led in my career

我在职业生涯中带过的最好的团队

was based on superpowers,

就是基于各种超能力的，

and we even gave ourselves fancy-pantsy titles

甚至我们给自己起了各种 奇特花哨的头衔

like "the Pillar of Masterly Acumen."

像是“精湛敏锐的支持者”，

"The Biscuit Butterer."

“饼干的仰慕者”，

(Laughter)

（笑声）

"The Voice of Reason."

“理性的声音”。

Because we relied on our strengths,

因为我们依赖于我们的长处，

our best strengths,

我们最擅长的，

we achieved tremendous outcomes.

我们取得了令人瞩目的成就。

The trait that prevents me from recognizing my mom

那个让我无法认出 妈妈的特质

allows me to smoothly adapt,

让我能够平稳的适应，

to quickly absorb and accurately process an exhausting volume of cues,

面对海量的信息能够快速消化 并精确的处理，

tease out what's important,

过滤出重要线索，

determine multiple processes or potentials for any situation that I'm in,

无论我身处什么场合都有能力 处理多个事件或可能情况，

and then select the one that makes the most sense,

然后从中挑选出 最重要的一个，

all in a matter of seconds.

这一切都在数秒内完成。

I see what other people do not.

我看到其他人看不见的。

Some people think that's a superpower,

有人觉得这就是我的超能力，

but my real superpowers

但是我的超能力

are ricocheting off of glass walls --

实际上是被玻璃墙反弹——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

and letting my friends walk around with kale in their teeth.

以及让我的朋友们把菜汤含嘴里 从我身边绕过去（吐掉）

(Laughter)

（笑声）

It's true. Don't have lunch with me,

真的。不要跟我共进午餐，

or dinner.

或者晚餐。

Tip two: be supremely skilled,

技巧二：要超级老练，

supremely skilled at getting it wrong.

在事情出岔子的时候超级老练。

It is important to be as equally confident in your superpowers

能够在你的FUBAR环境下保持自信 就像在你的超能力领域一样

as you are in you FUBARs.

是非常重要的。

That's "effed up beyond all recognition"

FUBAR就是你们这些千禧一代说的

for you millennials.

“搞砸了所有事情”的意思。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Here's a good example.

我有个很好的例子。

It is not a great idea to say,

说出这句话并不是个好主意：

"Don't worry, everything in here is too small for me to see"

“别担心，这里所有东西对我而言 都太小了，我看不到”

when you accidentally walk into the men's room --

当你不小心走错了厕所 跑到了男卫生间——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

at one of the world's largest sporting arenas --

这个世界上最大的 体育竞技场之一——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

or anywhere.

或别的地方。

I really wish that one wasn't true.

我真的希望我说的不是真的。

I'm serious. It is better to just walk out and let them think you're drunk.

我认真的。更好的方式是不说话 走出去，让别人认为你喝醉了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Tip three: know that everyone is disabled in some way,

技巧三：牢记每个人在某些方面 都有局限性（残疾）的，

like when you have a cold and you can't smell

就像是当你感冒的时候 你鼻子闻不出来，

and you realize that the milk that you splashed in your coffee was sour

只有当你尝到嘴里才会发现 刚才你倒进咖啡的牛奶

only after you've tasted it.

已经变质酸掉了。

Very recently, a woman walked up to me frantic.

不久之前一个女人 径直走向我。

She could not find the bakery she was looking for.

她想找一家面包店但是 怎么都找不到。

As I motioned in the direction I thought she should go,

当我跟她说了我觉得 她应该去的方向，

saying, "There are no stores on this side of the street

说，“马路的这边是 没有商店的

so your best bet is to cross --"

所以你最好是穿过——”

"Oh my goodness," she interrupted.

“我的天哪”，她打断我。

"There it is.

“就在那儿。

All I needed was another set of eyes."

我需要的就是另一双眼睛。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I just let her have it.

我没有纠正她。

I would have said that, you know,

我当然也可以说，你知道的，

being logical and paying attention

投入足够注意力

and staying calm would have done the trick,

保持冷静，用逻辑思维 就可以做到这点。

but who am I?

但我何必呢？

Tip four: point out the disability in others.

技巧四：指出别人 身上缺失的能力。

This one is best reserved -- very important note --

这一条最好是能够保留给—— 非常重要的提醒——

this one is best reserved for people you know well,

这一条最好是能够保留给 你非常熟悉的人，

because random strangers typically don't appreciate

因为偶遇的陌生人 一般都不会感激

teachable moments.

被你教育。

A few years ago, my parents and I went to see the Rockettes,

几年前，我和父母去 看踢踏舞表演，

Radio City's high-kicking dancers.

无线电城的高踢腿舞者。

I leaned over to my dad.

我凑近我爸爸轻声说，

"The two Rockettes on the left aren't kicking in a straight line."

“左边那两个踢踏舞者 踢得不在一条直线上。”

"Yes, they are."

“不，在一条直线上。”

"No, they're not."

“不，不在一条直线上。”

"Yes, they are, and how do you know?

“不，在一条线上，你怎么能知道？

You can't see."

你看不到啊。“

But I know what a straight line looks like.

但是我知道直线 看起来什么样子。

I had snapped a picture during our back and forth

我在我们争论的时候 拍了一张快照

and presented him the evidence that proved I was right.

给爸爸看了证据， 证明我是对的。

He looked at the picture.

他看着这张照片。

I leaned in further.

我进一步靠近爸爸。

"Who's disabled now?"

“现在谁残疾了？”

Tip five: pursue audacious goals.

技巧五：去实现大胆的目标。

Flip expectation upside down

把你不敢想的预期作为目标，

and shove limitation off a cliff to meet its demise.

将限制你的东西推下悬崖 宣告它们的死亡。

There is a college football linebacker

有一个大学橄榄球队中后卫

who blitzes, tackles, recovers fumbles

精通各种橄榄球战术，

while having one hand.

尽管他只有一只手。

There is a teacher who successfully transfers knowledge

有一位老师成功地 传道授业，

and inspires countless students

激励了一代代学生，

while living with Down syndrome.

尽管她自己身患唐氏综合症。

And for me,

至于我，

on my long list,

我长长的清单上，

to cycle from Kathmandu, Nepal, to Darjeeling, India

（有一条是）骑自行车从尼泊尔 加德满都骑到印度大吉岭

on the backseat of a bicycle built for two.

坐在双人自行车的 后排座位上。

It will be an exciting 620-mile adventure,

这激动人心的冒险长达620英里，

and I'm sure I will have the blurry photos to show for it.

我很确定我会在沿路拍摄 很多模糊的照片。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Oh, before we go on, I forgot to introduce you to my mom.

哦，对了，我忘记给大家 介绍我的妈妈了。

I need to do that.

我需要介绍一下。

And here she is,

这是我妈妈，

as she would appear to me

这是我看到的样子

if I were looking through a crowd of people looking for her.

当我需要穿过人海 找寻她的时候。

Or is that an Asian man?

会不会认错成那个亚洲男人？

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）