We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny | TED

Translator: Doris Mangalu Reviewer: Julie Mbeyella

So, 2014 was a big year for me.

Mwaka 2014 ulikua ,mkubwa kwangu.

Do you ever have that,

Ulishawahi kuwa na hio,

just like a big year, like a banner year?

kama tu mwaka mkubwa, kama mwaka bango?

For me, it went like this:

Kwangu, ulienda hivi:

October 3, I lost my second pregnancy.

Oktoba 3, nilipoteza ujauzito wangu wa pili.

And then October 8, my dad died of cancer.

Halfu Oktoba 3, baba yangu alifariki kwa saratani.

And then on November 25, my husband Aaron died

Halafu tena Novemba 25, mme wangu Aaron alifariki

after three years with stage-four glioblastoma,

baada ya miaka mitatu ya hatua ya nne ya glioblastoma,

which is just a fancy word for brain cancer.

ambalo ni neno la mbwembwe la saratani ya ubongo.

So, I'm fun.

Hivyo, nina vichekesho.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

People love to invite me out all the time.

Watu wanapenda kunialika sehemu kila mara.

Packed social life.

Maingiano kibao.

Usually, when I talk about this period of my life,

Kawaida, ninapoongelea hiki kipindi cha maisha yangu,

the reaction I get is essentially:

majibu ninayopata kimsingi ni:

(Sighs)

(Mhemo)

"I can't -- I can't imagine."

"Siwezi -- siwezi kufikiria."

But I do think you can.

Lakini ninafikiri unaweza.

I think you can.

Ninafikiri unaweza.

And I think that you should

Na ninafikiri kua unatakiwa

because, someday, it's going to happen to you.

kwa sababu, siku moja, itakutokea wewe.

Maybe not these specific losses in this specific order or at this speed,

Labda sio hizi hasara kabisa kwenye namna hii maalum au kwa kazi hii,

but like I said, I'm very fun

ila nimesema, nina vichekesho

and the research that I have seen will stun you:

na utafiti nilioona utakushangaza:

everyone you love has a 100 percent chance of dying.

kila mtu unaempenda ana nafasi asilimia 100 ya kufa.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

And that's why you came to TED.

Na ndio maana ukaja TED.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

(Applause)

(Makofi)

So, since all of this loss happened,

Tangu hasara yote ilivyonitokea,

I've made it a career to talk about death and loss,

nimefanya kazi kuongelea kuhusu kifo na hasara,

not just my own, because it's pretty easy to recap,

sio yangu tu, kwa sababu ni rahisi kukumbuka,

but the losses and tragedies that other people have experienced.

lakini hasara na mikasa ambayo watu wengine wamepitia.

It's a niche, I have to say.

Ni sehemu, naweza kusema.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

It's a small niche, and I wish I made more money, but ...

Ni sehemu ndogo, na natamani ningekua na hela nyingi, lakini ...

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

I've written some very uplifting books,

Nimeandika vitabu vya kuinua kweli,

host a very uplifting podcast, I started a little nonprofit.

nikaendesha podikasti ya kuinua sana, nikaanzaisha shirika lisilo la serikali.

I'm just trying to do what I can

Ninajaribu tu kufanya ninachoweza

to make more people comfortable with the uncomfortable,

kufanya watu wengi zaidi wafarijike kwenye hali zilizo ngumu,

and grief is so uncomfortable.

na majonzi ni magumu sana.

It's so uncomfortable, especially if it's someone else's grief.

Ni magumu sana, haswa kama ni majonzi ya mtu mwingine.

So part of that work is this group that I started with my friend Moe,

Basi sehemu ya hio kazi ni hili kundi nililoanzisha na rafiki yangu Moe,

who is also a widow;

ambae pia ni mjane;

we call it the Hot Young Widows Club.

tunaliita Chama cha Wajane Wadogo Wakali.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

And it's real, we have membership cards

Na ni ukweli, tuna kadi za uwanachama

and T-shirts.

na tisheti.

And when your person dies, your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend,

Na pale mtu wako akifariki, mmeo, mke, mchumba,

literally don't care if you were married,

hatujali kabisa kama ulikua kwenye ndoa,

your friends and your family are just going to look around

marafiki zako na familia yako watakua tu wanaangalia

through friends of friends of friends of friends

kwa marafiki wa marafiki wa marafiki wa marafiki

until they find someone who's gone through something similar,

mpaka wapate mtu ambae amepitia hali inayofanana,

and then they'll push you towards each other

halafu watawasukuma mje pamoja

so you can talk amongst yourselves and not get your sad on other people.

ili muongee miongoni mwenu na msiwe na masikitiko kwa watu wengine.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

So that's what we do.

Basi ndicho tunachofanya.

It's just a series of small groups,

Ni mfululizo tu wa makundi madogo,

where men, women, gay, straight, married, partnered,

ambapo wanaume, wanawake, mashoga, wa kawaida, wanandoa, wenye wenza,

can talk about their dead person,

wanaweza kuongelea kuhusu mtu wao aliyekufa,

and say the things

na kusema vile vitu

that the other people in their lives aren't ready or willing to hear yet.

ambavyo mtu mwingine kwenye maisha yao hayuko tayari kuvisikia bado.

Huge range of conversations.

Eneo kubwa la mazungumzo.

Like, "My husband died two weeks ago,

Kama, "Mme wangu alikufa wiki mbili zilizopita,

I can't stop thinking about sex, is that normal?"

siwezi kuacha kufikiria kuhusu ngono, ni kawaida?"

Yeah.

Ndio.

"What if it's one of the Property Brothers?"

"Je kama ni mmoja wa Property Brothers?"

Less normal, but I'll accept it.

Kawaida kidogo, ila nitaikubali.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

Things like, "Look, when I'm out in public and I see old people holding hands,

Vitu kama, "Ona, nikiwa hadharani na nikaona wazee wanashikana mikono,

couples who have clearly been together for decades,

wenzi ambao ni wazi wamekua pamoja kwa miongo,

and then I look at them and I imagine

halafu ninawaangalia na kuwaza

all of the things they've been through together,

vitu vyote ambavyo wamepitia pamoja,

the good things, the bad things,

vitu vizuri na vitu vibaya,

the arguments they've had over who should take out the trash ...

ugomvi waliokuanao kuhusu nani wa kutoa taka ...

I just find my heart filled with rage."

nakuta tu moyo umejawa na hasira."

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

And that example is personal to me.

Na huo mfano ni wa pekee kwangu.

Most of the conversations that we have in the group

Mazungumzo mengi ambayo tunakuwa nayo kwenye kundi

can and will just stay amongst ourselves,

yanaweza na yanakaa miongoni mwetu,

but there are things that we talk about

lakini kuna vitu tunavyoviongelea

that the rest of the world -- the world that is grief-adjacent

ambavyo duniani -- dunia ambayo iko karibu na majonzi

but not yet grief-stricken --

ila bado haijapigwa na majonzi

could really benefit from hearing.

inaweza kweli kunufaika kusikia.

And if you can't tell,

Na kama huwezi kusema,

I'm only interested in / capable of unscientific studies,

ninavutiwa/uwezo tu wa masomo yabbsiyo ya kisayansi,

so what I did was go to The Hot Young Widows Club

nilienda kwenye Chama cha Wajane Wadogo Wakali

and say, "Hello, friends, remember when your person died?" They did.

na kusema, "Habari, marafiki, unakumbuka mtu wako alivyokufa?" Walikumbuka.

"Do you remember all the things people said to you?"

"Unakumbuka vitu vyote watu walikuambia?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Ah, ndio."

"Which ones did you hate the most?"

"Ni vipi ulivyovichukia zaidi?"

I got a lot of comments, lot of answers, people say a lot of things,

Nilipata maoni mengi, majibu mengi, watu wanasema vitu vingi,

but two rose to the top pretty quickly.

lakini viwili vilisimama juu haraka sana.

"Moving on."

"Kusonga mbele."

Now, since 2014,

Sasa, tangu 2014,

I will tell you I have remarried a very handsome man named Matthew,

nitakuambia nilifunga ndoa tena na mwanaume mzuri kweli aitwae Matthew,

we have four children in our blended family,

tuna watoto wanne kwenye familia yetu iliyochanganyika,

we live in the suburbs of Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA.

tuniashi kwenye viunga vya Minneapolis, Minnesota, Marekani.

We have a rescue dog.

Tuna mbwa aliyeokolewa.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

I drive a minivan,

ninaendesha gari la familia,

like the kind where doors open and I don't even touch them.

kama la aina ambayo milango inafunguka bila hata kuigusa.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

Like, by any "mezhure," life is good.

Kama, "mezhure" yoyte, maisha ni mazuri.

I've also never said "mezhure," I've never once said it that way.

Sijawahi pia kusema "mezhure," sijawahi hata mara moja kuisema hivyo.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

I don't know where that came from.

Sijui hata imetokea wapi.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

I've never heard anyone else say it that way.

Sijawahi kusikia mtu yeyote akiisema hivyo.

It looks like it should be said that way,

Inaonekana kama inapaswa kusemwa hivyo,

and that's why the English language is trash, so ...

na ndio sababu lugha ya Kiingereza ni mbovu, basi ...

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

So impressed with anyone who, like, speaks it

Ninavutiwa sana na mtu ambae anaiongea

in addition to a language that makes sense -- good job.

kuongezea kwenye lugha inayoeleweka -- kazi nzuri.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

But by any measure ...

Lakini, kwa vyovote vile ...

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

By any measure, life is really, really good, but I haven't "moved on."

Kwa vyovyote vile, maisha ni mazuri sana sana, lakini "sijasonga mbele."

I haven't moved on, and I hate that phrase so much,

Sijasonga mbele, na siupendi kabisa huo msemo,

and I understand why other people do.

na ninaelewa kwanini wengine hawaupendi.

Because what it says

Kwa sababu unachosema

is that Aaron's life and death and love are just moments

ni kua maisha na kifo cha Aaron na upendo ni wakati tu

that I can leave behind me -- and that I probably should.

ambao nauweza kuuacha nyuma yangu -- na kua napaswa kufanya hivyo.

And when I talk about Aaron, I slip so easily into the present tense,

Na ninapoongelea kuhusu Aaron, ninaingia kirahisi kwenye hali halisi,

and I've always thought that made me weird.

na nimewaza kweli kua hio inanifanya wa ajabu.

And then I noticed that everybody does it.

Halafu nikagundua kua kila mtu anafanya hivyo.

And it's not because we are in denial or because we're forgetful,

Na sio kwa sababu tuna kana au kwa sababu tunasahau,

it's because the people we love, who we've lost,

ni kwa sababu watu tunaowapenda, tuliowapoteza,

are still so present for us.

bado ni halisi kwetu sisi.

So, when I say, "Oh, Aaron is ..."

Basi, ninaposema, "Oh, Aaron ni ..."

It's because Aaron still is.

Ni kwa sababu Aaron bado yupo.

And it's not in the way that he was before,

Na sio kwa namna alivyokua kabla.

which was much better,

iliyokua bora zaidi,

and it's not in the way that churchy people try to tell me that he would be.

na sio namna ambayo watu wa kanisani wanavyojaribu kuniambia anavyokua.

It's just that he's indelible,

ni kua tu amezimika,

and so he is present for me.

na hivyo yupo sasa kwangu.

Here,

Hapa,

he's present for me in the work that I do,

yupo hapa kwenye kazi ninayofanya,

in the child that we had together,

kwenye mtoto tulionae pamoja,

in these three other children I'm raising,

kwenye hawa watoto wengine watatu ninaolea,

who never met him, who share none of his DNA,

ambao hawajawahi kunuona, ambao hawana DNA yake,

but who are only in my life because I had Aaron

lakini wapo kwenye maisha yangu tu kwa sababu nilikuwa na Aaron

and because I lost Aaron.

na kwa sababu nilimpoteza Aaron.

He's present in my marriage to Matthew,

Yupo nami kwenye ndoa yangu na Matthew,

because Aaron's life and love and death

kwa sababu maisha na upendo na kifo cha Aaron

made me the person that Matthew wanted to marry.

vimenifanya kua mtu ambae Matthew angetaka kuoa.

So I've not moved on from Aaron,

Hivyo sijasonga mbele kutoka kwa Aaron,

I've moved forward with him.

nimesonga mbele na yeye.

(Applause)

(Makofi)

We spread Aaron's ashes in his favorite river in Minnesota,

Tulisambaza majivu ya Aaron kwenye mto aupendao huko Minnesota,

and when the bag was empty --

na pale begi lilipokua tupu --

because when you're cremated, you fit into a plastic bag --

kwa sababu ukiwa umechomwa, unatoshea kwenye mfuko wa plastiki --

there were still ashes stuck to my fingers.

kulikua na majibu bado yamebaki kwenye vidole vyangu.

And I could have just put my hands in the water and rinsed them,

Na ningeingiza tu mikono yangu kwenye maji na kuisuuza,

but instead, I licked my hands clean,

lakini badala lake, nililamba mikono yangu,

because I was so afraid of losing more than I had already lost,

kwa sababu niliogopa kupoteza zaidi ya nilichopoteza zaidi,

and I was so desperate to make sure that he would always be a part of me.

na nilitamani sana kuhakikisha kua atakua ni sehemu yangu daima.

But of course he would be.

Lakini bila shaka atakua.

Because when you watch your person fill himself with poison for three years,

Kwa sababu unapomuona mtu wako akijijaza na sumu kwa miaka mitatu,

just so he can stay alive a little bit longer with you,

ili tu aweze kuishi zaidi kidogo na wewe,

that stays with you.

hilo linakaa na wewe.

When you watch him fade from the healthy person he was the night you met

Unapomuangalia akififia kutoka kwenye mtu mwenye afya siku mliokutana

to nothing, that stays with you.

kuwa sifuri, hiyo inakaa na wewe.

When you watch your son, who isn't even two years old yet,

Unapomuangalia mwanao, amba hata bado hana miaka miwili,

walk up to his father's bed on the last day of his life,

akienda kitandani kwa baba yake siku ya mwisho ya maisha yake,

like he knows what's coming in a few hours,

kama vile anajua kinachofuata masaa machache,

and say, "I love you. All done. Bye, bye."

na kusema, "Nakupenda. Nimemaliza. Kwaheri."

That stays with you.

Hiyo inakaa na wewe.

Just like when you fall in love, finally, like really fall in love

Kama tu unapopenda, hatimae, unapopenda kweli

with someone who gets you and sees you

mtu anaekuelewa na kukuona

and you even see, "Oh, my God, I've been wrong this entire time.

na unaona pia, "Mungu wangu, nimekua nikikosea mda wote huu.

Love is not a contest or a reality show -- it's so quiet,

Upendo sio mashindano au kipindi cha televisheni -- ni ukimya sana,

it's this invisible thread of calm that connects the two of us

ni huu uzi usioonekana wa utulivu unatuunganisha wawili

even when everything is chaos,

hata kama kila kitu kina vurugu,

when things are falling apart, even when he's gone."

vitu vinapoenda vibaya, hata kama akiondoka."

That stays with you.

Hio inakaa na wewe.

We used to do this thing --

Tulikua tunafanya hivi --

because my hands are always freezing and he's so warm,

mikono yangu ilikua na baridi na yeye ana joto,

where I would take my ice-cold hands and shove them up his shirt ...

nilichukua mikono yangu ya barafu na kuisukuma ndani ya shati lake ...

press them against his hot bod.

kuikandamiza kwenye mwili wake mkali.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

And he hated it so much,

Na alikua hapendi kabisa,

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

but he loved me,

lakini alinipenda,

and after he died, I laid in bed with Aaron

na alivyokufa, nililala kitandani na Aaron

and I put my hands underneath him

na nikaweka mikono yangu chini yake

and I felt his warmth.

na nikahisi joto lake.

And I can't even tell you if my hands were cold,

Na sikuweza hata kusema kama mikono yangu ilikua na baridi,

but I can tell you

lakini ninaweza kuwaambia

that I knew it was the last time I would ever do that.

kua nilijua ilikua mara ya mwisho ningeweza kufanya hivyo.

And that that memory is always going to be sad.

Na hio kumbukumbu itakua ya kusikitisha daima.

That memory will always hurt.

Hio kumbukumbu itauma daima.

Even when I'm 600 years old and I'm just a hologram.

Hata kama nikiwa na miaka 600 na ni hologramu tu.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

Just like the memory of meeting him is always going to make me laugh.

Kama tu kumbukumbu ya kukutana nae itanifanya nicheke daima.

Grief doesn't happen in this vacuum,

Maombolezo hayatokei kwenye huu utupu,

it happens alongside of and mixed in with all of these other emotions.

yanatokea pamoja na na ikichanganyika na hisia zote hizi nyingine.

So, I met Matthew, my current husband --

Hivyo, nikakutana na Matthew, mme wangu wa sasa --

who doesn't love that title,

ambae hapendi hicho cheo,

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

but it's so accurate.

lakini ni sawa kabisa.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

I met Matthew, and ...

Nilikutana na Matthew, na ...

there was this audible sigh of relief among the people who love me,

kulikua na hii pumzi ya wazi ya faraja kati ya watu wanaonipenda,

like, "It's over!

kama, "Imekwisha!

She did it.

Ameweza.

She got a happy ending, we can all go home.

Amepata mwisho mzuri, tunaweza kurudi nyumbani sasa.

And we did good."

Na tumefanya vizuri."

And that narrative is so appealing even to me,

Na hio hadithi inafaa hata hata kwangu,

and I thought maybe I had gotten that, too, but I didn't.

na nikawaza labda nimeipata hio pia, lakini haikua hivyo.

I got another chapter.

Nilipata sura nyingine.

And it's such a good chapter -- I love you, honey --

Na ni sura nzuri sana -- nakupenda, mpenzi --

it's such a good chapter.

ni sura nzuri sana.

But especially at the beginning, it was like an alternate universe,

Tena haswahaswa mwanzoni, ilikua kama ulimwengu mbadala,

or one of those old "choose your own adventure" books from the '80s

au moja ya vile vitabu ya zamani vya "chagua shani yako" vya miaka ya 80

where there are two parallel plot lines.

ambapo kuna mistari miwili sambamba.

So I opened my heart to Matthew,

Nikafungua moyo wangu kwa Matthew,

and my brain was like, "Would you like to think about Aaron?

na ubongo wangu ukawa, "Ungependa kumfikiria Aaron?

Like, the past, the present, future, just get in there," and I did.

Kama zamani, sasa, mbeleni, ingia tu huko," na nilifanya hivyo.

And all of a sudden, those two plots were unfurling at once,

Na ghafla, hiyo mistari miwili ilifunguka kwa pamoja,

and falling in love with Matthew really helped me realize the enormity

na kupendana na Matthew kumenisaidia sana kugundua ukubwa

of what I lost when Aaron died.

wa nilichopoteza Aaron alivyofariki.

And just as importantly,

Na ilivyo muhimu,

it helped me realize that my love for Aaron

ilinisaidia kugundua kua upendo wangu kwa Aaron

and my grief for Aaron,

na maombolezo yangu kwa Aaron,

and my love for Matthew, are not opposing forces.

na upendo wangu kwa Matthew, sio nguvu za kupishana.

They are just strands to the same thread.

Ni sehemu tu za uzi mmoja

They're the same stuff.

Ni vitu sawa sawa.

I'm ... what would my parents say?

Wazazi wangu wangesemaje?

I'm not special.

Mimi sio wa pekee.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

They had four kids, they were like ... frankly.

Walikua na watoto wanne, walikua kama ... wa kweli.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

But I'm not, I'm not special.

Lakini mimi sio, mimi sio wa pekee.

I know that, I'm fully aware

Ninajua hilo, ninajua vizuri

that all day, every day, all around the world,

kua siku nzima, kila siku duniani kote,

terrible things are happening.

vitu vibaya vinatokea.

All the time.

Kila mara.

Like I said, fun person.

Kama nilivyosema, mtu mcheshi.

But terrible things are happening,

Lakini vitu vibaya vinatokea,

people are experiencing deeply formative and traumatic losses every day.

watu wanapata hasara za kina na mbaya kila siku.

And as part of my job,

Na kama sehemu ya kazi yangu,

this weird podcast that I have,

hii podikasti ya ajabu niliyonayo,

I sometimes talk to people

kuna mda ninaongea na watu

about the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

kuhusu kitu kibaya kilichowahi kuwatokea.

And sometimes, that's the loss of someone they love,

Na saa nyingine, hio ni kupotelewa na mpendwa,

sometimes days ago or weeks ago, years ago, even decades ago.

mara nyingine siku, wiki miaka au miongo iliyopita.

And these people that I interview,

Na hawa watu ninaowahoji,

they haven't closed themselves around this loss

hawajajifungia wenyewe kwenye hii hasara

and made it the center of their lives.

na kuifanya sehemu kuu ya maisha yao.

They've lived, their worlds have kept spinning.

Wameishi, dunia zao zimeendelea kuzunguka.

But they're talking to me, a total stranger,

Lakini wanaongea na mimi, mgeni kabisa,

about the person they love who has died,

kuhusu mtu wanaempenda aliyekufa,

because these are the experiences

kwa sababu hivi ndivyo vitu tunavyopitia

that mark us and make us just as much as the joyful ones.

vinavyotuonyesha na kutufanya kama tu wale wenye furaha.

And just as permanently.

Na kama ilivyo ya kudumu.

Long after you get your last sympathy card

Baadae baada ya kupata kadi yako ya mwisho ya huruma

or your last hot dish.

au pishi la moto la mwisho.

Like, we don't look at the people around us

Kama, hatuangalii watu wanaotuzunguka

experiencing life's joys and wonders and tell them to "move on," do we?

wakipitia furaha na maajabu ya maisha na kuwaambia "wasonge mbele", ndio?

We don't send a card that's like, "Congratulations on your beautiful baby,"

Hatutumi kadi ambazo zinasema "Hongera kwa mtoto mzuri,"

and then, five years later, think like, "Another birthday party? Get over it."

halafu, miaka mitano baadae, tunawaza, "Sherehe nyingine ya kuzaliwa? Acha hizo."

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

Yeah, we get it, he's five.

Ndio, tunaelewa, ana miaka mitano.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

Wow.

Wow.

(Laughter)

(Kicheko)

But grief is kind of one of those things,

Lakini maombolezo ni moja ya vile vitu,

like, falling in love or having a baby or watching "The Wire" on HBO,

kama kupenda au kuwa na mtoto au kuangalia "The Wire" kwenye HBO,

where you don't get it until you get it, until you do it.

ambapo hauelewi mpaka upate, mpaka ufanye.

And once you do it, once it's your love or your baby,

Na punde unavyofanya, punde ni mpenzi wako au mtoto wako,

once it's your grief and your front row at the funeral,

punde ni maombolezo yako na uko mstari wa mbele kwenye msiba,

you get it.

unaelewa.

You understand what you're experiencing is not a moment in time,

Unaelewa unachopitia sio sehemu ya mda,

it's not a bone that will reset,

sio mfupa kua utajirudi,

but that you've been touched by something chronic.

lakini kua umeguswa na kitu kikali.

Something incurable.

Kitu kisichotibika.

It's not fatal, but sometimes grief feels like it could be.

Hakiui, lakini saa nyingine yanakua kama yanaweza.

And if we can't prevent it in one another,

Na kama hatuwezi kuzuia miongoni mwetu,

what can we do?

nini tunaweza kufanya?

What can we do other than try to remind one another

Nini tunaweza kufanya zaidi ya kukumbushiana

that some things can't be fixed,

kua vitu vingine havirekebishiki,

and not all wounds are meant to heal?

na sio kila kidonda kinapaswa kupona.

We need each other to remember,

Tunahitajiana kukumbuka,

to help each other remember,

kusaidiana kukumbuka,

that grief is this multitasking emotion.

kua maombolezo ni hisia ya mambo mengi.

That you can and will be sad, and happy; you'll be grieving, and able to love

Kua unaweza na utakua na huzuni, na furaha; utaomboleza na kupenda

in the same year or week, the same breath.

kwenye mwaka au wiki au pumzi hio hio.

We need to remember that a grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again.

Tunahitaji kukumbuka kua mtu anaeomboleza ataenda kucheka na kutabasamu tena.

If they're lucky, they'll even find love again.

Wakibahatika, wanaweza hata kupenda tena.

But yes, absolutely, they're going to move forward.

Lakini ndio, hakika wataenda kusonga mbele.

But that doesn't mean that they've moved on.

Lakini hiyo haimaanishi kua wameendelea mbele.

Thank you.

Asanteni.

(Applause)

(Makofi)