A little-told tale of sex and sensuality | Shereen El Feki

Prevodilac: Anca Dimovska Lektor: Mile Živković

So when I was in Morocco,

Kada sam bila u Maroku

in Casablanca, not so long ago,

u Kazablanci, ne tako davno,

I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza.

upoznala sam mladu neudatu majku po imenu Fajza.

Faiza showed me photos of her infant son

Fajza mi je pokazala slike svog sina koji je još beba

and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

i ispričala mi kako je začet, o trudnoći, o porođaju.

It was a remarkable tale,

Bila je to odlična priča,

but Faiza saved the best for last.

ali Fajza je najlepše sačuvala za kraj.

"You know, I am a virgin," she told me.

"Znate, ja sam devica", rekla mi je.

"I have two medical certificates to prove it."

"Imam dva medicinska sertifikata da to dokažu".

This is the modern Middle East,

Ovo je moderan Bliski istok,

where two millennia after the coming of Christ,

gde posle dva milenijuma od dolaska Hrista,

virgin births are still a fact of life.

device koje rađaju su i dalje činjenica života.

Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region

Ova priča jedna je od sto koje sam čula dok sam putovala kroz arapski region

talking to people about sex.

i pričala sa ljudima o seksu.

Now, I know this might sound like a dream job,

Sad, znam da to može da zvuči kao posao iz snova,

or possibly a highly dubious occupation,

ili možda kao vrlo dubiozno zanimanje,

but for me, it's something else altogether.

ali za mene, to je nešto sasvim drugačije.

I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim.

Ja sam poluegipćanka, i muslimanka.

But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.

Ali sam odrasla u Kanadi, daleko od mojih arapskih korena.

Like so many who straddle East and West,

kao i mnogi koji se bore sa Istokom i Zapadom,

I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins.

privuklo me je, tokom godina, da pokušam da bolje shvatim moje poreklo.

That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS,

To što sam odabrala da proučim seks dolazi od moje pozadine iz HIV/AIDS,

as a writer and a researcher and an activist.

i kao pisca i istraživača i aktiviste.

Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa,

Seks je u srcu nastajuće epidemije u Bliskom istoku i Severnoj Africi,

which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.

koji je jedan od dva regiona u svetu gde je HIV/AIDS i dalje u porastu.

Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens

Seksualnost je neverovatno moćno sočivo

with which to study any society,

kojim može da se proučava bilo koje društvo,

because what happens in our intimate lives

jer ono što se dešava u našim intimnim životima

is reflected by forces on a bigger stage:

je odraz sila sa veće scene:

in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations.

politike, ekonomije, religije i tradicije, roda i generacije.

As I found, if you really want to know a people,

Otkrila sam da, ako zaista želite da upoznate narod,

you start by looking inside their bedrooms.

krenete tako što im zavirite u spavaću sobu.

Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied.

Znajte, arapski svet je veliki i raznolik.

But running across it are three red lines --

ali kroz njega protiču tri crvene linije -

these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.

ovo su teme koje ne bi trebalo da ispitujete ni u reči ni u delu.

The first of these is politics.

Prva od njih je politika.

But the Arab Spring has changed all that,

Ali Arapsko proleće je promenilo sve to,

in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011.

u ustancima koji cvetaju regionom od 2011.

Now while those in power, old and new,

Dok oni koji vladaju, bili stari ili novi

continue to cling to business as usual,

nastavljaju da se drže posla kao i obično,

millions are still pushing back,

milioni i dalje idu unazad

and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.

i idu ka onome što se nadaju da će biti bolji život.

That second red line is religion.

Druga crvena linija je religija.

But now religion and politics are connected,

Ali sada su religija i politika povezane,

with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood.

sa rađanjem grupa kao što su Muslimansko bratstvo.

And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions

Neki ljudi bar počinju da postavljaju pitanja.

about the role of Islam in public and private life.

o ulozi Islama u javnom i privatnom životu.

You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject,

Ova treća linija, ta tema van domašaja

what do you think it might be?

šta mislite, šta bi ona mogla da bude?

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.

Šerin El Feki: Glasnije, ne čujem vas.

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

SEF: Again, please don't be shy.

ŠEF: Ponovo, molim vas ne stidite se.

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter)

ŠEF: Apsolutno, tačno je, to je seks. (Smeh).

Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage --

U arapskoj regiji, jedini prihvaćen kontekst za seks je brak -

approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion

odobren od strane roditelja, potvrđen religijom

and registered by the state.

i registrovan u državi.

Marriage is your ticket to adulthood.

Brak je vaša karta u odraslo doba.

If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place,

Ako se ne privežete, ne možete da se odselite iz roditeljske kuće,

and you're not supposed to be having sex,

i ne bi trebalo da upražnjavate seks,

and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.

i definitivno ne bi trebalo da imate decu.

It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress

To je društvena citadela; neosvojiva tvrđava

which resists any assault, any alternative.

koja odoleva svakom napadu, svakoj alternativi.

And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo

A oko tvrđave je široko polje tabua

against premarital sex, against condoms,

protiv seksa pre braka, protiv kondoma,

against abortion, against homosexuality,

protiv abortusa, protiv homoseksualizma,

you name it.

šta god poželite.

Faiza was living proof of this.

Fajza je živi dokaz.

Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking.

Njena izjava o nevinosti nije samo maštanje.

Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity,

Iako sve veće religije u regionu veličaju predbračnu čednost,

in a patriarchy, boys will be boys.

u patrijarhatu, dečaci ostaju dečaci.

Men have sex before marriage,

Muškarci upražnjavaju seks pre braka,

and people more or less turn a blind eye.

i ljudi se manje više prave da to ne vide.

Not so for women,

Ali tako nije za žene,

who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night --

od kojih se očekuje da budu device prve bračne noći-

that is, to turn up with your hymen intact.

to jest, da im je netaknut himen.

This is not a question of individual concern,

Ovo nije pitanje pojedinca,

this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.

ovo je pitanje porodične časti, i posebno časti muškarca.

And so women and their relatives

Žene i njihova rodbina

will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy --

će činiti svašta da sačuvaju ovaj mali deo njihove anatomije -

from female genital mutilation,

od sakaćenja ženskih genitalija,

to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.

do testa na nevinost, do operacije himena.

Faiza chose a different route:

Fajza je odabrala drugačiji put:

non-vaginal sex.

nevaginalni seks.

Only she became pregnant all the same.

Samo što je ona svakako ostala trudna.

But Faiza didn't actually realize this,

Ali Faiza nije ovo shvatala,

because there's so little sexuality education in schools,

jer ima vrlo malo seksualnog obrazovanja u školama,

and so little communication in the family.

i jako malo komunikacije u porodici.

When her condition became hard to hide,

Kad je postalo teško da se sakrije njeno stanje,

Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers.

Fajzina majka joj je pomogla da pobegne od oca i braće.

This is because honor killings are a real threat

Ovo je zato jer su ubistva iz časti stvarna pretnja

for untold numbers of women in the Arab region.

za neizreciv broj zena u arapskom regionu.

And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca,

Kada je Faiza konačno došla u bolnicu u Kazablanki,

the man who offered to help her,

čovek koji se ponudio da joj pomogne,

instead tried to rape her.

pokušao je da je siluje umesto toga.

Sadly, Faiza is not alone.

Nažalost, Faiza nije usamljeni slučaj.

In Egypt, where my research is focused,

U Egiptu, gde je fokusirano moje istraživanje,

I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel.

videla sam mnogo nevolja unutar i izvan citadele.

There are legions of young men

Postoje legije mladih muškaraca

who can't afford to get married,

koji ne mogu da priušte da se venčaju,

because marriage has become a very expensive proposition.

jer je brak postao mnogo skup poduhvat.

They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life,

Od njih se očekuje da nose teret troškova života u braku

but they can't find jobs.

a ne mogu da nađu posao.

This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings,

Ovo je jedan od bitnijih razloga nedavnih ustanaka,

and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage

i jedan od razloga kasnijeg stupanja u brak

in much of the Arab region.

u velikom delu arapske regije.

There are career women who want to get married,

Ima žena sa karijerom koje žele da se udaju,

but can't find a husband,

ali ne mogu da nađu muža,

because they defy gender expectations,

jer prkose rodnim očekivanjima,

or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me,

ili kao što mi je objasnila mlada doktorka iz Tunisa,

"The women, they are becoming more and more open.

"Žene postaju sve otvorenije i otvorenije

But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."

A muškarac, on je još uvek u praistorijskom dobu".

And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line,

A tu su i muškarci i žene koji prelaze heteroskesualnu granicu,

who have sex with their own sex,

koji imaju seks sa osobama svog pola,

or who have a different gender identity.

ili koji imaju različit rodni identitet.

They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities,

Oni od zakona dobijaju kazne za svoje aktivnosti,

even their appearance.

čak i njihovu pojavu.

And they face a daily struggle with social stigma,

I suočavaju se sa svakodnevnom borbom sa društvenom stigmom

with family despair,

sa očajem porodice

and with religious fire and brimstone.

i sa verskom osudom.

Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either.

A nije baš da je sve blistavo ni u bračnom životu.

Couples who are looking for greater happiness,

Parovi koji žele višu sreću,

greater sexual happiness in their married lives,

višu seksualnu sreću u bračnom životu,

but are at a loss of how to achieve it,

ali ne znaju kako to da postignu,

especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women

pogotovo supruge, koje se boje da izgledaju kao loše žene

if they show some spark in the bedroom.

ako pokažu neku iskru u krevetu.

And then there are those whose marriages

Ima i onih čiji su brakovi

are actually a veil for prostitution.

u stvari veo za prostituciju.

They have been sold by their families,

Porodice su ih prodale,

often to wealthy Arab tourists.

često bogatim arapskim turistima.

This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.

Ovo je samo jedno lice trgovine seksom u arapskoj regiji koja je u porastu.

Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you,

Podignite ruku ako vam se nešto od ovoga čini poznato,

from your part of the world.

u vašem delu sveta.

Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.

Da, mema samo arapski svet monopol nad seksualnim neprilikama.

And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report

I iako još uvek nema arapskog Kinsijevog izveštaja,

to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region,

da nam kaže šta se tačno dešava u spavaćim sobama u arapskom regionu,

It's pretty clear that something is not right.

prilično je očigledno da nešto nije u redu.

Double standards for men and women,

Dvostruki standardi za muškarce i žene,

sex as a source of shame,

seks kao izvor sramote,

family control limiting individual choices,

porodična kontrola koja ograničava izbor pojedinca,

and a vast gulf between appearance and reality:

i veliki jaz između pojave i realnosti:

what people are doing

onoga što ljudi rade

and what they're willing to admit to,

i onoga što su voljni da priznaju,

and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers

i sveopšte ustezanje da se pomeriš van privatnih šaputanja

to a serious and sustained public discussion.

u ozbiljnu i podržanu javnu diskusiju.

As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me,

Kao što mi je sumirao jedan doktor iz Kaira:

"Here, sex is the opposite of sport.

"Seks je ovde obrnuto od sporta.

Football, everybody talks about it,

Fudbal, o njemu svi govore,

but hardly anyone plays.

ali jedva da ga neko igra.

But sex, everybody is doing it,

Ali seks, svi ga imaju,

but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)

ali niko o tome ne želi da priča".

(Music) (In Arabic)

(Muzika) (Na arapskom)

SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice,

SEF: Daću vam jedan savet,

which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.

ako ga prihvatite, bićete srećni u životu.

When your husband reaches out to you,

Kada vas muž dodirne,

when he seizes a part of your body,

kad vas uhvati,

sigh deeply and look at him lustily.

duboko udahnite i požudno ga pogledajte.

When he penetrates you with his penis,

Kada prodre u vas svojim penisom,

try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.

probajte da pričate zavodljivo sa njim, pomerajte se u harmoniji sa njim.

Hot stuff!

Vrelo!

And it might sound that these handy hints

I može da zvuči da su uslužni nagoveštaji

come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn.

iz "Radosti Seksa" ili sa "YouPorn".

But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book

A u stvari su iz arapske knjige iz desetog veka

called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure,"

koja se zove "Enciklopedija uživanja",

which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia,

koja pokriva seks od afrodizijaka do zoofilije,

and everything in between.

i sve između.

The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica,

Enciklopedija je jedna u dugom nizu arapske erotike,

much of it written by religious scholars.

većinu su pisali religiozni naučnici.

Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad,

Sve do proroka Muhameda,

there is a rich tradition in Islam

postoji bogata tradicija u Islamu

of talking frankly about sex:

o otvorenom pričanju o seksu:

not just its problems, but also its pleasures,

ne samo o problemima, već i o uživanju,

and not just for men, but also for women.

i ne samo za muškarce, već za žene.

A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic.

Pre hiljadu godina postojali su rečnici seksa na arapskom.

Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature,

Reči koje pokrivaju svaku seksualnu odliku

position and preference, a body of language

pozu ili ono što je omiljeno,

that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.

jezik dovoljno bogat da ocrta telo žene kao što vidite na ovoj strani.

Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region.

Danas je ova prošlost u velikoj meri nepoznata u arapskom regionu.

Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex

Čak i kod obrazovanih ljudi, kojima je prijatnije da pričaju o seksu

in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue.

na stranom jeziku nego na svom.

Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America

Današnji seksualni pejzaž dosta liči na Evropu i Ameriku

on the brink of the sexual revolution.

na ivici seksualne revolucije.

But while the West has opened on sex,

Ali dok se Zapad otvarao o seksu,

what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction.

saznali smo da su se arapska društva kretala u suprotnom pravcu.

In Egypt and many of its neighbors,

U Egiptu i mnogim susednim zemljama,

this closing down is part of a wider closing

ovo zatvaranje je deo šireg zatvaranja

in political, social and cultural thought.

u političkom, društvenom i kulturnom mišljenju.

And it is the product of a complex historical process,

I to je rezutat složenog istorijskog procesa,

one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism

koji je zasnovan sa uzdizanju islamskog konzervativizma

since the late 1970s.

od kasnih sedamdesetih.

"Just say no" is what conservatives around the world

"Samo recite ne" je ono što konzervativci širom sveta

say to any challenge to the sexual status quo.

kažu na bilo koji izazov na dosadašnje seksualno stanje.

In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy

U arapskom regionu, oni markiraju ove pokušaje kao zapadnjačku zaveru

to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values.

da se potkopaju tradicionalne arapske i islamske vrednosti.

But what's really at stake here

A ono što je zaista ovde u pitanju

is one of their most powerful tools of control:

je jedno od njihovih najmoćnijih oružja za kontrolu:

sex wrapped up in religion.

seks uvijen u religiju.

But history shows us that even as recently

Ali nam istorija pokazuje da je čak i skoro,

as our fathers' and grandfathers' day,

u danima naših očeva i pradeda,

there have been times of greater pragmatism,

bilo većeg pragmatizma,

and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations:

i tolerancije i volje da se razmotre druga tumačenja:

be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality.

da li je to abortus, ili masturbacija, ili čak zapaljiva tema homoseksualnosti.

It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe.

Nije crno i belo, kao što bi konzervativci hteli da verujemo.

In these, as in so many other matters,

U ovim, kao i mnogim drugim pitanjima,

Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray.

Islam nudi najmanje 50 nijansi sive.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Over my travels,

Na mojim putovanjima,

I've met men and women across the Arab region

upoznala sam muškarce i žene u arapskom regionu

who've been exploring that spectrum --

koji su istraživali taj spektar -

sexologists who are trying to help couples

seksolozi koji pokušavaju da pomognu parovima

find greater happiness in their marriages,

da nađu sreću u svojim brakovima,

innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools,

inovatori koji uspevaju da uvedu seksualno obrazovanje u škole,

small groups of men and women,

male grupe muškaraca i žena

lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual,

lezbejke, gej muškarci, transrodni, transeksualci

who are reaching out to their peers

koji traže sebi slične

with online initiatives and real-world support.

preko onlajn inicijativa, i uz podršku iz stvarnog sveta.

Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out

Žene, i sve češće muškarci, koji počinju da glasno govore

and push back against sexual violence

i potiskuju seksualno nasilje

on the streets and in the home.

na ulicama i kod kuće.

Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV

Grupe koje pokušavaju da pomognu seksualnim radnicima da se zaštite od HIVa

and other occupational hazards,

i drugih rizika posla

and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza

i NVO koje pomažu neudatim majkama kao što je Fajza

find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.

da nađu mesto u društvu, i što je važno, ostanu sa svojom decom.

Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded,

Ovi napori su mali, često malo plaćeni,

and they face formidable opposition.

i suočavaju se sa teškom opozicijom

But I am optimistic that, in the long run,

Ali sam ja optimista, da će se na duže staze

times are changing, and they and their ideas

vremena promeniti, i oni i njihove ideje

will gain ground.

će biti prihvaćene.

Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation,

Društvena promena se u arapskoj regiji ne dešava kroz dramatični sukob,

beating or indeed baring of breasts,

tučom ili razgolićivanjem grudi,

but rather through negotiation.

već kroz pregovore.

What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution,

Ovde ne pričamo o seksualnoj revoluciji,

but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world,

već seksualnoj evoluciji, učenjem iz drugih delova sveta,

adapting to local conditions,

prilagođavanjem lokalnim uslovima,

forging our own path, not following one blazed by another.

kovanjem sopstvenog puta, ne praćenjem drugih.

That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies,

Nadam se da će nas jednog dana taj put dovesti do prava da kontrolišemo naša tela

and to access the information and services we need

i da dobijemo informacije i usluge koji nam trebaju

to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives.

da vodimo zadovoljavajuće i sigurne seksualne živote.

The right to express our ideas freely,

Pravo da slobodno izrazimo svoje ideje,

to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners,

da mi odaberemo za koga se udajemo, da biramo svoje partnere,

to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when,

da budemo seksualno aktivni ili ne,

da odlučimo da li želimo da imamo decu i kada,

all this without violence or force or discrimination.

sve ovo bez nasilja, sile ili diskriminacije.

Now we are very far from this across the Arab region,

Sad smo mnogo daleko od ovoga u arapskoj regji,

and so much needs to change:

i mnogo toga treba da se promeni:

law, education, media, the economy,

pravo, obrazovanje, mediji, ekonomija,

the list goes on and on,

lista se nastavlja,

and it is the work of a generation, at least.

i ovo je u najmanju ruku posao jedne generacije.

But it begins with a journey that I myself have made,

Ali počinje putem koji sam sama prešla,

asking hard questions of received wisdoms

postavljajući teška pitanja o dobijenoj mudrosti

in sexual life.

seksualnog života.

And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith,

I to je putovanje koje je jedino poslužilo da ojača moju veru,

and my appreciation of local histories and cultures

i da cenim lokalnu istoriju i kulture

by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.

prikazivanjem mogućnosti gde sam nekad samo videla apsolutnost.

Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region,

S obzirom na prevrate u mnogim arapskim zemljama u regionu,

talking about sex, challenging the taboos,

razgovaranje o seksu, ispitivanje tabua,

seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.

potraga za alternativama može da zvuči kao nešto luksuzno.

But at this critical moment in history,

Ali u ovom kritičnom trenutku u istoriji,

if we do not anchor freedom and justice,

ako ne učvrstimo slobodu i pravdu,

dignity and equality,

dostojanstvo i jednakost,

privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives,

privatnost i autonomiju u našim ličnim i seksualnim životima,

we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.

vrlo teško ćemo to postići u javnom životu.

The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all.

Politika i seks su partneri u krevetu, i to je tačno za sve nas,

no matter where we live and love.

bez obzira gde živimo i volimo.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)