A little-told tale of sex and sensuality | Shereen El Feki

翻译人员: Katheryn Aurora 校对人员: Yinghong Chen

So when I was in Morocco,

我在摩洛哥的时候，

in Casablanca, not so long ago,

不久前，在卡萨布兰卡，

I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza.

我遇到一个名叫法伊扎（Faiza）的年轻未婚妈妈。

Faiza showed me photos of her infant son

法伊扎给我看了她儿子婴儿时期的照片

and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

并且告诉了我她怀孕、妊娠、分娩的故事。

It was a remarkable tale,

这是一个非凡的故事，

but Faiza saved the best for last.

但是法伊扎把最重要的内容留在了最后。

"You know, I am a virgin," she told me.

“你知道吗，我是个处女“，她告诉我。

"I have two medical certificates to prove it."

“我能拿出两份体检证明。”

This is the modern Middle East,

这是在现代的中东，

where two millennia after the coming of Christ,

距离基督降生后又过了两千年，

virgin births are still a fact of life.

可“童女生子”仍存在于现实生活中。

Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region

法伊扎的故事不过是我这几年来 在阿拉伯地区旅游，

talking to people about sex.

与人们谈论“性”中听过的许多故事中的一个。

Now, I know this might sound like a dream job,

我知道这听起来是梦想中的工作，

or possibly a highly dubious occupation,

或者也许是个很值得怀疑的职业，

but for me, it's something else altogether.

但对我来说，它完全是另一种东西。

I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim.

我有一半的埃及血统，而且是个穆斯林。

But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.

但是我在加拿大长大，离我的阿拉伯根源很远。

Like so many who straddle East and West,

就像许多东西方混血的人一样，

I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins.

我被自己的祖源所吸引，并且多年来都尽力更好地理解它。

That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS,

之所以选择性这个命题的原因在于 我在艾滋病毒（HIV）和艾滋病（AIDS）方面有学术背景。

as a writer and a researcher and an activist.

既是作者、研究者，也是个活动家。

Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa,

性是中东和北非新兴传染病的核心问题，

which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.

它们是世界上唯一两个HIV/AIDS病例还在持续上升的地区。

Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens

性是一个令人难以置信的放大镜

with which to study any society,

在研究任何社会问题的时候，

because what happens in our intimate lives

因为在我们亲密生活中所发生的事

is reflected by forces on a bigger stage:

被强有力地影射在了更大舞台上：

in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations.

在政治和经济，宗教与传统，性别和一代代人之间。

As I found, if you really want to know a people,

当我发现，如果你真的想要了解一民族，

you start by looking inside their bedrooms.

你得先看看他们的卧室。

Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied.

实话讲，阿拉伯文化是广阔和多元的。

But running across it are three red lines --

但是有三条红线横跨其中——

these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.

那些话题是你不能用言辞和行为去挑战的。

The first of these is politics.

首先是政治。

But the Arab Spring has changed all that,

但“阿拉伯之春”已经改变了它，

in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011.

起义自2011年在该地区展开。

Now while those in power, old and new,

如今，在新旧势力

continue to cling to business as usual,

继续一如既往墨守他们职责的同时，

millions are still pushing back,

上百万人依旧在反抗，

and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.

希望得到更好的生活。

That second red line is religion.

第二根红线是宗教。

But now religion and politics are connected,

但现在，宗教和政治联系密切，

with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood.

随着譬如穆斯林兄弟会这样的组织兴起。

And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions

有一些人，至少开始质疑，

about the role of Islam in public and private life.

关于伊斯兰教在公共与私人生活中的角色。

You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject,

至于那第三根红线，禁忌话题，

what do you think it might be?

你觉得是什么？

Audience: Sex.

观众:"性。"

Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.

演讲者（Shereen El Feki）：“大声点，我听不见。”

Audience: Sex.

观众:"性。"

SEF: Again, please don't be shy.

演讲者：“再说一遍，别害羞。”

Audience: Sex.

观众:"性。"

SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter)

演讲者：“当然，答对了，是性”（笑声）

Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage --

在阿拉伯地区，性生活只允许出现在婚姻中——

approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion

经父母允许，被宗教批准，

and registered by the state.

和经国家注册。

Marriage is your ticket to adulthood.

婚姻是你成人生活的入场券。

If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place,

如果你不结婚，你就不能搬出父母家，

and you're not supposed to be having sex,

同时你不能有性行为，

and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.

并且你绝对不能有小孩。

It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress

这是一个社会堡垒，是个坚不可摧的堡垒

which resists any assault, any alternative.

它抵制了任何抨击，任何选择。

And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo

此外，诸多禁忌围绕着这个堡垒

against premarital sex, against condoms,

反对婚前性行为，反对避孕，

against abortion, against homosexuality,

反对堕胎，反对同性恋，

you name it.

凡是你能想得到的。

Faiza was living proof of this.

法伊扎就是活生生的例子。

Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking.

她的童贞声明不是一个一厢情愿的想法。

Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity,

虽然这个地区的大多数宗教赞美婚前贞洁，

in a patriarchy, boys will be boys.

在父权制社会，男孩始终是男孩。

Men have sex before marriage,

男人在婚前有性行为，

and people more or less turn a blind eye.

人们或多或少会视而不见。

Not so for women,

对女人就不是了，

who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night --

她们被期待在新婚之夜是处女之身——

that is, to turn up with your hymen intact.

就是，有完整的处女膜。

This is not a question of individual concern,

这不仅仅是个人问题，

this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.

这有关于一个家族的荣誉，具体来说，男人的荣誉。

And so women and their relatives

所以女人们和她们的亲戚

will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy --

会竭尽全力保存这小小一个身体部分——

from female genital mutilation,

从女性生殖器官，

to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.

到童贞测试，到处女膜修复手术。

Faiza chose a different route:

法伊扎选择了一条不同的路径：

non-vaginal sex.

非阴道性交。

Only she became pregnant all the same.

但是她和别人一样怀孕了。

But Faiza didn't actually realize this,

但法伊扎并没有意识到这一点，

because there's so little sexuality education in schools,

因为学校里几乎没有关于性教育的课，

and so little communication in the family.

家里也没有告诉她这方面的事。

When her condition became hard to hide,

当她的情况变得难以掩饰，

Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers.

法伊扎的母亲帮助她从父亲和兄长那里逃离。

This is because honor killings are a real threat

这是因为阿拉伯地区的无数女性

for untold numbers of women in the Arab region.

受到为了荣誉被谋杀的威胁。

And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca,

当法伊扎因临盆送进卡萨布兰卡的医院时，

the man who offered to help her,

那个提出帮助她的男子，

instead tried to rape her.

竟试图强暴她。

Sadly, Faiza is not alone.

可悲的是，法扎伊并不是特例。

In Egypt, where my research is focused,

在埃及，也是我主要集中研究的地方，

I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel.

我曾目睹堡垒内外许许多多的问题。

There are legions of young men

有大批年轻男子，

who can't afford to get married,

他们没钱结婚，

because marriage has become a very expensive proposition.

因为婚姻变成了一个异常昂贵的主张。

They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life,

他们得负担婚后生活的费用，

but they can't find jobs.

但是他们找不到工作。

This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings,

这是最近暴动的主导因素之一，

and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage

也是在大部分阿拉伯地区

in much of the Arab region.

晚婚的原因之一。

There are career women who want to get married,

有想结婚的职业女性，

but can't find a husband,

却找不到丈夫，

because they defy gender expectations,

因为她们不符合人们对女性的期望，

or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me,

换而言之，就像一个年轻的突尼斯女医生给我说的：

"The women, they are becoming more and more open.

“女人变得愈加开放。

But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."

而男人，他还停留在史前阶段！“

And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line,

然后就有跨越了异性恋界限的男人和女人，

who have sex with their own sex,

也就是与同性做爱，

or who have a different gender identity.

或是有不同的性别认同。

They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities,

因为他们的行为，甚至是外表

even their appearance.

就被迫接受法律的制裁。

And they face a daily struggle with social stigma,

并且他们每天都会面对成为社会污点的煎熬，

with family despair,

伴随着家里对他们的绝望

and with religious fire and brimstone.

和信仰的谴责。

Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either.

然而婚后性生活也不一定都幸福美满。

Couples who are looking for greater happiness,

那些寻求生活美满的夫妻，

greater sexual happiness in their married lives,

期待婚后性生活美满的夫妻，

but are at a loss of how to achieve it,

往往找不到要领，

especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women

尤其是那些一在床上表现积极

if they show some spark in the bedroom.

就怕被看作是坏女人的妻子。

And then there are those whose marriages

有些婚姻的真面目

are actually a veil for prostitution.

其实就是卖淫。

They have been sold by their families,

女人们被家里卖掉

often to wealthy Arab tourists.

通常被卖给富有的阿拉伯游客。

This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.

这只是在阿拉伯地区日益猖獗的性交易的冰山一角。

Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you,

现在，如果这些在你家乡发生过的，

from your part of the world.

请举手。

Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.

是的，并不是只有阿拉伯有性禁锢。

And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report

虽然我们还没有阿拉伯金赛报告

to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region,

来告诉我们在阿拉伯地区的卧房里到底发生了些什么。

It's pretty clear that something is not right.

显而易见，有些事情不对劲。

Double standards for men and women,

对男人女人有双重标准，

sex as a source of shame,

性事被当作羞耻之源，

family control limiting individual choices,

家族限制了个人的选择，

and a vast gulf between appearance and reality:

表象与事实天差地别：

what people are doing

人们做的事，

and what they're willing to admit to,

和他们愿意承认的所作所为，

and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers

还有宁愿窃窃私语

to a serious and sustained public discussion.

也不愿长期、严肃的公开讨论。

As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me,

正如一位在开罗的医生对我所说的，

"Here, sex is the opposite of sport.

“在这里，性是运动的反义词。

Football, everybody talks about it,

所有人谈论足球，

but hardly anyone plays.

但很少有人踢。

But sex, everybody is doing it,

至于性，所有人都做过，

but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)

然而人人难以启齿。”（笑声）

(Music) (In Arabic)

（音乐）（阿拉伯语）

SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice,

我想给你些建议，

which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.

假如照着做，你们的生活就会变得快乐。

When your husband reaches out to you,

当你先生有性趣，

when he seizes a part of your body,

在他抚慰你的身体时，

sigh deeply and look at him lustily.

深深地喘息并用渴望的眼神看着他。

When he penetrates you with his penis,

在他的阴茎插入后，

try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.

试着淫声浪语一番然后用身体配合他的节奏。

Hot stuff!

很热辣！

And it might sound that these handy hints

这些有用的技巧听起来像是

come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn.

出自《性爱圣经》或YouPorn网站。

But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book

但实际上，它们出自于一本10世纪的阿拉伯书

called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure,"

叫《欢愉百科》，

which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia,

它从催情药到人兽交都有涉及，

and everything in between.

以及其他的性事。

The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica,

这本百科全书只是众多阿拉伯色情文学的一本，

much of it written by religious scholars.

大部分由宗教学者撰写而成。

Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad,

一直追溯到先知默罕默德，

there is a rich tradition in Islam

那时伊斯兰早有

of talking frankly about sex:

坦然议论性事的深厚传统：

not just its problems, but also its pleasures,

不仅谈论性疑惑，还有性快感，

and not just for men, but also for women.

不仅限于男人，还有女人。

A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic.

1000年前，阿拉伯曾拥有多部性典。

Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature,

内容包含各种与性相关的专题，

position and preference, a body of language

体味、性癖，和其他关于身体的词条

that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.

书中细腻得勾勒出女体如你所见在这页上。

Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region.

现今，这段历史在阿拉伯鲜为人知。

Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex

甚至那些教育良好的人，感觉谈论性

in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue.

用外语比母语更自在。

Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America

现代性生活的概况

on the brink of the sexual revolution.

与早期经历过性革命的欧洲和美国十分相似。

But while the West has opened on sex,

然而西方性早已开放，

what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction.

但阿拉伯世界所走的道路却与此南辕北辙。

In Egypt and many of its neighbors,

对于埃及与其他许多邻国而言，

this closing down is part of a wider closing

这种性方面的封闭只是其他更广泛的

in political, social and cultural thought.

政治、社会、思想文化封闭内的一部分。

And it is the product of a complex historical process,

这是复杂历史演变的产物，

one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism

自70年代，

since the late 1970s.

它就在伊斯兰保守主义内部落地生根。

"Just say no" is what conservatives around the world

“拒绝就对了”是世界各地的保守主义者

say to any challenge to the sexual status quo.

对于任何性文化的挑战的态度。

In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy

在阿拉伯地区，他们把相关企图认为是西方人

to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values.

为了破坏传统阿拉伯和伊斯兰传统的阴谋。

But what's really at stake here

但最关键的是

is one of their most powerful tools of control:

他们最权威的统治工具之一：

sex wrapped up in religion.

以宗教控制性。

But history shows us that even as recently

但是历史证明即使在

as our fathers' and grandfathers' day,

我们父辈、祖父辈的近代，

there have been times of greater pragmatism,

也曾有过更务实的观点，

and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations:

还有宽容，和包容其它异己的观点：

be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality.

不管是堕胎，或手淫，甚至是备受争议的同性恋话题。

It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe.

事情不像保守主义者想得那样非黑即白。

In these, as in so many other matters,

在这样那样的事情中，

Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray.

伊斯兰教徒至少给我们了《格雷的50道阴影》（情色小说）

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Over my travels,

在我的旅途中，

I've met men and women across the Arab region

我在阿拉伯碰见过正在探索性事的

who've been exploring that spectrum --

男人、女人们——

sexologists who are trying to help couples

想要协助夫妻婚姻生活

find greater happiness in their marriages,

更美满的性学家们，

innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools,

尝试在学校开展性教育课的改革者，

small groups of men and women,

形形色色的男女，

lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual,

女同，男同，不认同生理性别者和变性者，

who are reaching out to their peers

他们通过网络倡议和实际支援

with online initiatives and real-world support.

正在寻找同类。

Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out

女人，和越来越多的男人，开始

and push back against sexual violence

公然抗拒

on the streets and in the home.

公共场所和家庭里的性暴力。

Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV

也有协助性工作者防御艾滋病

and other occupational hazards,

和其他职业危害的团体，

and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza

还有非政府组织帮助像法扎伊那样的未婚母亲在社会上立足

find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.

帮助她们与孩子呆在一起。

Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded,

现在这些行动规模不大，经常资金不足，

and they face formidable opposition.

而且面临着可怕的反对势力。

But I am optimistic that, in the long run,

但是我持乐观态度，从长期来看，

times are changing, and they and their ideas

时代在改变，他们与他们的想法

will gain ground.

会得到认同。

Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation,

在阿拉伯地区，社会改变不是通过戏剧化的对峙，

beating or indeed baring of breasts,

殴打或撕裂胸膛达成的，

but rather through negotiation.

而是通过谈判。

What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution,

我们此刻说的不是性改革，

but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world,

而是一个效仿世界其他地区的性进化，

adapting to local conditions,

适应当地条件，

forging our own path, not following one blazed by another.

对症下药而不是按部就班。

That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies,

我希望这条路有一天能够带我们走向身体自主权，

and to access the information and services we need

能够得到我们需要的信息和服务，

to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives.

成就安全美满的性生活。

The right to express our ideas freely,

自由表达想法的权利，

to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners,

与自己选择的人结婚， 选择自己的配偶，

to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when,

是否遵循规律的性生活， 决定时候要小孩和时间，

all this without violence or force or discrimination.

不要有暴力、威胁或歧视。

Now we are very far from this across the Arab region,

目前阿拉伯离这项目标还很远，

and so much needs to change:

而且很多地方需要改进：

law, education, media, the economy,

法律，教育，传媒，经济，

the list goes on and on,

数不胜数，

and it is the work of a generation, at least.

这需要至少一个世代的努力。

But it begins with a journey that I myself have made,

我的旅程只是个开始，

asking hard questions of received wisdoms

传承下来的性知识

in sexual life.

提出难以回答的问题。

And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith,

这个旅程只会增强我的信念，

and my appreciation of local histories and cultures

和我对当地历史文化的欣赏

by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.

我原以为是真理的地方展现了可改善性。

Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region,

目前一些阿拉伯国家动荡不安，

talking about sex, challenging the taboos,

谈论性事，挑战禁忌，

seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.

寻找替代，听起来像是一种奢侈。

But at this critical moment in history,

但是在这历史的关键时期，

if we do not anchor freedom and justice,

如果我们没有得到私生活和性生活中的 自由与正义，

dignity and equality,

尊严与平等，

privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives,

隐私权与自主权，

we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.

我们就难以在公共生活中得到它们。

The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all.

无论我们身处何方，心寄何处

no matter where we live and love.

政治和性都关系密切。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）