A little-told tale of sex and sensuality | Shereen El Feki

譯者: Willy Feng 審譯者: Samson Zhong

So when I was in Morocco,

不久之前

我在摩洛哥的卡薩布蘭卡 (Casablanca)

in Casablanca, not so long ago,

I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza.

遇到一位叫法伊札（Faiza）的未婚年經媽媽

Faiza showed me photos of her infant son

她給我看她襁保中兒子的照片

and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

跟我說她從受孕、懷胎到生產的經過

It was a remarkable tale,

聼來挺精采的

but Faiza saved the best for last.

但法伊札把最妙的部分留到最後

"You know, I am a virgin," she told me.

她說「妳知道我還是處女嗎?」

"I have two medical certificates to prove it."

「我有兩份診斷證明」

This is the modern Middle East,

這發生在現代的中東地區

where two millennia after the coming of Christ,

2千年後的耶穌誕生地

virgin births are still a fact of life.

還是有處女產子的事

Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region

我在阿拉伯地區巡講性事多年

talking to people about sex.

她的故事只是我聽過的數百件之一

Now, I know this might sound like a dream job,

這工作聽來或許好到不像真的

or possibly a highly dubious occupation,

以職業來說也引人猜疑

but for me, it's something else altogether.

但我做這行是有其他原因的

I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim.

我是回教徒，有一半埃及血統

But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.

卻在離阿拉伯家鄉很遠的加拿大成長

Like so many who straddle East and West,

就像許多兼具東西文化背景的人

I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins.

這些年我被自己的原生文化吸引，試圖深入了解

That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS,

之所以研究性事，是因為

我在寫作、研究及社運中 所觸及的愛滋病現況

as a writer and a researcher and an activist.

Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa,

全球仍在升溫的2個愛滋疫區中， 中東和北非是其一

which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.

而愛滋病正在這兩地蔓延

Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens

性是很有效的檢視工具

with which to study any society,

可用以研究任何社會

because what happens in our intimate lives

因為性生活的經歷

is reflected by forces on a bigger stage:

也反映在更龐大的勢力中，像是

in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations.

政治和經濟，宗教和傳統，性別和世代

As I found, if you really want to know a people,

我發現，如果你真要了解一個民族

you start by looking inside their bedrooms.

就要從臥房內開始探究

Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied.

儘管阿拉伯世界龐大多樣

But running across it are three red lines --

但有三條共同的底線

these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.

是不容人以言行挑戰的

The first of these is politics.

第一個是政治

But the Arab Spring has changed all that,

但 2011 年起在阿拉伯地區遍地開花的

in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011.

「阿拉伯之春」讓這事改觀了

Now while those in power, old and new,

當新舊權貴階級

continue to cling to business as usual,

盡力維持正常運作時

millions are still pushing back,

上百萬人仍在抗爭

and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.

企圖藉此改善生活

That second red line is religion.

第二條底線是宗教

But now religion and politics are connected,

但像穆斯林兄弟會這樣的組織崛起後

with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood.

政教目前是相互關聯的

And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions

而且有些人開始質疑

about the role of Islam in public and private life.

伊斯蘭教在公共與私生活中的定位

You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject,

至於第三條底線嘛! 是個避諱的主題

what do you think it might be?

你們認為是什麼？

Audience: Sex.

(聽眾) 性

Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.

大聲點，我聽不到

Audience: Sex.

(聽眾) 性

SEF: Again, please don't be shy.

再說一次，不要害臊

Audience: Sex.

[聽眾] 性

SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter)

沒錯，完全正確! 就是「性」!(笑聲)

Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage --

阿拉伯地區只容許婚姻中的性生活

approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion

指的是雙親同意，宗教許可

and registered by the state.

且向政府登記的婚姻

Marriage is your ticket to adulthood.

婚姻是邁入成年的象徵

If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place,

不婚者不能搬出家裡

and you're not supposed to be having sex,

也不能有性行為

and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.

當然不該有小孩

It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress

這種社會體制就像 一座牢不可破的堡壘

which resists any assault, any alternative.

抗拒譴責和替代選項

And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo

除此外還有諸多禁忌

against premarital sex, against condoms,

反對婚前性行為，反對保險套

against abortion, against homosexuality,

反對墮胎，反對同性戀

you name it.

可說不勝枚舉!

Faiza was living proof of this.

法伊札就是活生生的例證

Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking.

她宣稱保有童真可不是一廂情願

Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity,

雖然該地區各大宗教都推崇婚前守貞

in a patriarchy, boys will be boys.

不過在父權社會，狗改不了吃屎

Men have sex before marriage,

男人婚前有性行為

and people more or less turn a blind eye.

人們多少都視而不見

Not so for women,

但女人可不能這樣

who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night --

她們在新婚夜前都該是處女

that is, to turn up with your hymen intact.

換句話說，此前要保有處女膜「完璧」

This is not a question of individual concern,

這不單是個人問題

this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.

還關係著家族聲譽，尤其是男人的

And so women and their relatives

所以女人和她們的親戚

will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy --

會不惜一切維護這一小片生理構造

from female genital mutilation,

從女性割禮到處女鑑定

to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.

或處女膜重建術都有人用

Faiza chose a different route:

不過法伊札採取其他方式

non-vaginal sex.

非陰道性行為

Only she became pregnant all the same.

只是最後她還是懷孕了

But Faiza didn't actually realize this,

但法伊札本來不知道這點

because there's so little sexuality education in schools,

因為學校幾乎沒有性教育

and so little communication in the family.

家裡也很少談這個

When her condition became hard to hide,

事跡敗露後

Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers.

法伊札的母親幫她逃脫父兄

This is because honor killings are a real threat

這是因為在阿拉伯地區，「名譽殺人」

for untold numbers of women in the Arab region.

是數不清的女性面臨的真實威脅

And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca,

當法伊札因臨盆被送進 卡薩布蘭卡的醫院時

the man who offered to help her,

那位幫她的男子

instead tried to rape her.

竟企圖強暴她

Sadly, Faiza is not alone.

可悲的是，這不是特例

In Egypt, where my research is focused,

在埃及，也就是我主要研究的區域

I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel.

我在醫院內外見過很多麻煩事

There are legions of young men

很多年輕男性

who can't afford to get married,

沒錢結婚

because marriage has become a very expensive proposition.

因為婚姻已成為代價昂貴的事

They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life,

婚後他們要負擔家庭開銷

but they can't find jobs.

但又找不到工作

This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings,

這就是最近暴動的主因之一

and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage

也是造成大部分阿拉伯地區

in much of the Arab region.

晚婚的原因之一

There are career women who want to get married,

偏偏渴望婚姻的職業婦女

but can't find a husband,

找不到對象

because they defy gender expectations,

因為她們不符合典型的性別角色

or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me,

就像突尼西亞的 一位年輕女醫生對我說的:

"The women, they are becoming more and more open.

「女人變得更開放，

But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."

但男人依然食古不化！」

And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line,

還有人跨越異性戀的藩籬

who have sex with their own sex,

進行同性間性行為

or who have a different gender identity.

或者產生不同的性別認同

They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities,

因為行為舉止，甚至外表

他們被迫承受法律制裁

even their appearance.

And they face a daily struggle with social stigma,

還得日復一日抗拒社會

加諸其身的汙名及家人的絕望疏離

with family despair,

and with religious fire and brimstone.

更還有來自信仰的譴責與煎熬

Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either.

不過，婚後性生活也不全然美滿

Couples who are looking for greater happiness,

希望婚姻生活更快樂

greater sexual happiness in their married lives,

性生活更滿足的夫妻

but are at a loss of how to achieve it,

往往不得要領

especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women

尤其是妻子，害怕在床上熱情如火

if they show some spark in the bedroom.

會被當成壞女人

And then there are those whose marriages

還有假結婚

are actually a veil for prostitution.

真賣淫的

They have been sold by their families,

常見女性被家人賣給

often to wealthy Arab tourists.

富有的阿拉伯旅客

This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.

這只是冰山一角，事實上 性交易在阿拉伯一帶日益猖獗

Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you,

若這些事在你們那裏也常聽過

from your part of the world.

請你舉個手

Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.

看來對性事傷腦筋的不只阿拉伯人

And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report

儘管沒有阿拉伯版的 《金賽報告》（Kinsey Reports）

to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region,

顯示阿拉伯地區性生活的概況

It's pretty clear that something is not right.

但顯然有些不對勁!

Double standards for men and women,

對男性和女性有雙重標準

sex as a source of shame,

性事令人羞恥

family control limiting individual choices,

家族限制個人選擇

and a vast gulf between appearance and reality:

表象與事實間落差很大

what people are doing

例如人們的所做所為

and what they're willing to admit to,

和願意坦承的部分間即是如此

and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers

人們通常寧可竊竊私語

to a serious and sustained public discussion.

也不願長期公開嚴肅地討論

As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me,

有一位開羅醫生是這麼跟我說的:

"Here, sex is the opposite of sport.

「在這裡，性跟運動相反

Football, everybody talks about it,

大家都會討論足球

but hardly anyone plays.

但幾乎沒人在踢

But sex, everybody is doing it,

但儘管大家有性經驗

but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)

卻人人難以啟齒。」 (笑聲)

(Music) (In Arabic)

(阿拉伯語旁白的音樂)

SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice,

我想給大家一個忠告

which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.

如果照著做，你們的生活就會變得快樂

When your husband reaches out to you,

當先生對妳起了「性」趣

when he seizes a part of your body,

撫摸妳身體某部位時

sigh deeply and look at him lustily.

長吁一口氣，並渴望地看著他

When he penetrates you with his penis,

當他的陰莖插入時

try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.

試著淫聲浪語一番，並用身體配合他

Hot stuff!

很辛辣！

And it might sound that these handy hints

這些實用的竅門聽來或許像是

come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn.

出自<性愛聖經> (The Joy of Sex ) 或YouPorn網站

But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book

但其實是10世紀的一本阿拉伯書

called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure,"

《歡愉百科》(The Encyclopedia of Pleasure) 所提到的

which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia,

內容有催情劑和人獸交

and everything in between.

和其它性事

The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica,

這還只是阿拉伯 冗長色情書單的一本而已

much of it written by religious scholars.

其中大多是宗教學者編著的

Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad,

回溯先知穆罕默德的時代

there is a rich tradition in Islam

那時伊斯蘭信仰中早有

of talking frankly about sex:

坦然議論性事的深厚傳統

not just its problems, but also its pleasures,

不只談性疑惑，還有性快感

and not just for men, but also for women.

且迎合兩性的觀點需求

A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic.

1000年前，阿拉伯曾有多部性典

Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature,

內容涵蓋各種與性相關的專題

position and preference, a body of language

體位、性癖和其他眾多詞彙

that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.

豐富的語言足以 勾勒出這幅插圖中的女體

Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region.

不過在阿拉伯地區 這段來歷至今鮮為人知

Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex

即便是受過良好教育者，也常覺得

用外語談性比母語自在

in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue.

Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America

現代性生活的概況

與早已歷經性革命的歐美十分相近

on the brink of the sexual revolution.

But while the West has opened on sex,

儘管西方對性已開放

what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction.

我們發現，阿拉伯社會卻似乎反其道而行

In Egypt and many of its neighbors,

以埃及和許多鄰國而言

this closing down is part of a wider closing

性這方面的封閉源自更廣泛的

in political, social and cultural thought.

政治、社會和文化上的閉鎖思想

And it is the product of a complex historical process,

是複雜的歷史演進所造成的

one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism

70年代晚期，伊斯蘭保守勢力崛起後

since the late 1970s.

這樣的趨勢逐漸占上風

"Just say no" is what conservatives around the world

任何對既有性文化的挑戰

全世界保守勢力的反應是「拒絕就對了!」

say to any challenge to the sexual status quo.

In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy

在阿拉伯地區，相關企圖 被醜化為西方世界的陰謀

to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values.

目的是破壞傳統的阿拉伯和伊斯蘭價值

But what's really at stake here

但問題關鍵在於

is one of their most powerful tools of control:

以宗教包裝性議題

是保守勢力最有力的掌控方式

sex wrapped up in religion.

But history shows us that even as recently

但歷史告訴我們，即便

我們父親或祖父輩那樣的近代

as our fathers' and grandfathers' day,

there have been times of greater pragmatism,

也曾有過更務實的觀點

and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations:

更多包容且願接納不同詮釋

be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality.

舉凡墮胎，自慰，甚至 備受爭議的同性戀議題

It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe.

事情並非保守派 要我們相信的那樣絕對

In these, as in so many other matters,

就像其他事一樣，伊斯蘭信仰

Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray.

在性方面至少還有《葛雷的50道陰影》

(Laughter)

(笑聲) 譯註:《葛雷的50道陰影》 （Fifty Shades of Grey）是情色小說

Over my travels,

在阿拉伯一帶旅行時

I've met men and women across the Arab region

我遇過以各種途徑

who've been exploring that spectrum --

探討性事的男女

sexologists who are trying to help couples

有試圖協助夫妻

find greater happiness in their marriages,

達成美滿婚姻的性學家

innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools,

正力圖促成學校性教育的創新人士

small groups of men and women,

形形色色的男女

lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual,

女同志、男同志、不認同生理性別者和變性者

who are reaching out to their peers

藉由網路倡議和實際支援

with online initiatives and real-world support.

凝聚志同道合的人

Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out

很多女性和越來越多男性

開始公然抗拒

and push back against sexual violence

家庭與公共場所的性暴力

on the streets and in the home.

Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV

也有協助性工作者

預防愛滋病等職災的團體

and other occupational hazards,

and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza

還有幫助法伊札 這樣的未婚媽媽立足社會

find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.

讓她們可跟小孩待在一塊的非政府組織

Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded,

目前這些行動規模不大，也缺乏資助

and they face formidable opposition.

所面臨的反對勢力也很難應付

But I am optimistic that, in the long run,

但我相信假以時日

times are changing, and they and their ideas

隨著時代改變，這些人和他們的想法

will gain ground.

終會得到認同

Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation,

針鋒相對無法帶動阿拉伯地區的社會變遷

beating or indeed baring of breasts,

義憤填膺或袒胸裸露也於事無補

but rather through negotiation.

協商反而可靠

What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution,

我們此刻談的不是性革命

but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world,

而是仿效其他地區的性進化

adapting to local conditions,

因地制宜後

forging our own path, not following one blazed by another.

獨樹一格，而非蕭規曹隨

That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies,

但願這條路會帶我們找回身體自主權

and to access the information and services we need

並能利用相關資訊和服務

to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives.

成就安全美滿的性生活

The right to express our ideas freely,

還有自由表達的權力

to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners,

以及婚姻和伴侶選擇的自由

to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when,

自決是否要規律的性生活? 要不要生小孩，何時生

all this without violence or force or discrimination.

不要有暴力，強迫，或歧視

Now we are very far from this across the Arab region,

目前阿拉伯離此目標還很遠

and so much needs to change:

很多地方需要改變

law, education, media, the economy,

法律、教育、醫事、經濟

the list goes on and on,

難以勝數

and it is the work of a generation, at least.

這至少要一個世代才能完成

But it begins with a journey that I myself have made,

但我的巡講算是個起頭

asking hard questions of received wisdoms

這當中我對傳承下來的性知識

in sexual life.

提出很多難以回答的問題

And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith,

旅程中見到原本一體適用的真理

and my appreciation of local histories and cultures

也納入種種可能後， 我更加相信

by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.

和欣賞地方的歷史文化

Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region,

在許多阿拉伯國家動盪不安的時候

talking about sex, challenging the taboos,

還要討論性事，挑戰禁忌

seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.

尋求替代方案像是癡人說夢

But at this critical moment in history,

但目前對歷史而言至關重要

if we do not anchor freedom and justice,

如果我們不穩固私生活和性生活的

自由、正當、尊嚴、平等

dignity and equality,

privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives,

隱私和自主

we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.

公共生活上就更別談這些了!

The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all.

無論我們身處何方，寄情何處

政治和性關係密切，放諸四海皆準

no matter where we live and love.

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

(掌聲)