A little-told tale of sex and sensuality | Shereen El Feki

Prevoditelj: Katarina Lukec Recezent: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG

So when I was in Morocco,

Kad sam bila u Maroku,

in Casablanca, not so long ago,

u Casablanci, ne tako davno,

I met a young unmarried mother called Faiza.

upoznala sam mladu neudanu majku Faizu.

Faiza showed me photos of her infant son

Faiza mi je pokazala fotografije svog malog sina

and she told me the story of his conception, pregnancy, and delivery.

i ispričala mi je priču njegova začeća, trudnoće i poroda.

It was a remarkable tale,

Bila je to izvanredna priča,

but Faiza saved the best for last.

ali Faiza je sačuvala najbolje za kraj.

"You know, I am a virgin," she told me.

"Znaš, ja sam djevica," rekla mi je.

"I have two medical certificates to prove it."

"Imam dva medicinska certifikata kao dokaz."

This is the modern Middle East,

Ovo je moderni Bliski Istok,

where two millennia after the coming of Christ,

gdje su dva tisućljeća poslije Kristovog dolaska,

virgin births are still a fact of life.

djevičanski porodi još životna činjenica.

Faiza's story is just one of hundreds I've heard over the years, traveling across the Arab region

Faizina priča je samo jedna od mnogih koje sam čula tijekom godina, putujući diljem arapske regije

talking to people about sex.

pričajući s ljudima o seksu.

Now, I know this might sound like a dream job,

Sad, znam da ovo zvuči kao posao iz snova,

or possibly a highly dubious occupation,

ili možda jako sumnjivo zanimanje,

but for me, it's something else altogether.

ali za mene, to je potpuno nešto drugo.

I'm half Egyptian, and I'm Muslim.

Ja sam poluegipćanka i muslimanka sam.

But I grew up in Canada, far from my Arab roots.

Ali odrasla sam u Kanadi, daleko od mojih arapskih korijena.

Like so many who straddle East and West,

Kao mnogi drugi koji su podvojeni između Istoka i Zapada,

I've been drawn, over the years, to try to better understand my origins.

bila sam ponukana, tijekom godina, bolje razumjeti svoje korijenje.

That I chose to look at sex comes from my background in HIV/AIDS,

Tako da moj pogled na seks dolazi do moje pozadine u HIV-u/AIDS-u,

as a writer and a researcher and an activist.

kao spisateljice, istraživačice i aktivistkinje.

Sex lies at the heart of an emerging epidemic in the Middle East and North Africa,

Seks leži u srcu nastajanja epidemije na Bliskom Istoku i sjevernoj Africi,

which is one of only two regions in the world where HIV/AIDS is still on the rise.

koja je jedna od samo dvije regije u svijetu gdje je HIV/AIDS još uvijek u porastu.

Now sexuality is an incredibly powerful lens

Seksualnost je nevjerojatno moćna leća

with which to study any society,

za promatranje bilo kojeg društva,

because what happens in our intimate lives

jer ono što se događa u našim intimnim životima

is reflected by forces on a bigger stage:

odražava snagu na višoj razini:

in politics and economics, in religion and tradition, in gender and generations.

u politici i ekonomiji, u religiji i tradiciji, u spolu i naraštajima.

As I found, if you really want to know a people,

Smatram da, ako stvarno želite poznavati ljude,

you start by looking inside their bedrooms.

počnete s gledanjem unutar njihovih spavaćih soba.

Now to be sure, the Arab world is vast and varied.

Znamo da je arapski svijet širok i raznolik.

But running across it are three red lines --

Ali trčanje preko njega su tri crvene crte --

these are topics you are not supposed to challenge in word or deed.

ovo su teme koje ne biste smjeli izazivati u riječima ili djelu.

The first of these is politics.

Prva od njih je politika.

But the Arab Spring has changed all that,

Ali arapsko proljeće promijenilo je sve to

in uprisings which have blossomed across the region since 2011.

u ustancima koji su procvjetali diljem regije od 2011.

Now while those in power, old and new,

Dok se oni na moći, stari i novi,

continue to cling to business as usual,

i dalje drže posla po starom,

millions are still pushing back,

milijuni se i dalje vuku nazad,

and pushing forward to what they hope will be a better life.

i vuku naprijed k onome što se nadaju da će biti bolji život.

That second red line is religion.

Ta druga crvena linija je religija.

But now religion and politics are connected,

Ali sad su religija i politika povezane,

with the rise of such groups as the Muslim Brotherhood.

s porastom grupa poput Muslimanskog bratstva.

And some people, at least, are starting to ask questions

I neki ljudi barem počinju postavljati pitanja

about the role of Islam in public and private life.

o ulozi Islama u javnom i privatnom životu.

You know, as for that third red line, that off-limits subject,

Znate, za tu treću crvenu liniju koja prelazi granice,

what do you think it might be?

što mislite da bi moglo biti?

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

Shereen El Feki: Louder, I can't hear you.

Shereen El Feki: Glasnije, ne čujem vas.

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

SEF: Again, please don't be shy.

SEF: Ponovno, molim vas ne budite sramežljivi.

Audience: Sex.

Publika: Seks.

SEF: Absolutely, that's right, it's sex. (Laughter)

SEF: Apsolutno tako je, to je seks. (Smijeh)

Across the Arab region, the only accepted context for sex is marriage --

Diljem arapske regije, jedini prihvatljivi kontekst za seks je brak --

approved by your parents, sanctioned by religion

koji su dozvolili tvoji roditelji, koji je religija potvrdila

and registered by the state.

i država registrirala.

Marriage is your ticket to adulthood.

Brak je karta za zrelost.

If you don't tie the knot, you can't move out of your parents' place,

Ako ne uplovite u bračne vode, ne možete se iseliti iz kuće roditelja,

and you're not supposed to be having sex,

i ne biste se smjeli seksati,

and you're definitely not supposed to be having children.

i definitivno ne biste smjeli imati djece.

It's a social citadel; it's an impregnable fortress

To je društvena citadela; to je neosvojiva tvrđava

which resists any assault, any alternative.

koja se opire svakom napadu, svakoj alternativi.

And around the fortress is this vast field of taboo

I oko tvrđave je ogromno polje tabua

against premarital sex, against condoms,

protiv predbračnog seksa, protiv kondoma,

against abortion, against homosexuality,

protiv pobačaja, protiv homoseksualnosti,

you name it.

samo recite.

Faiza was living proof of this.

Faiza je bila živući dokaz ovoga.

Her virginity statement was not a piece of wishful thinking.

Njena izjava o djevičanstvu nije plod njenih želja.

Although the major religions of the region extoll premarital chastity,

Iako glavne religije u regiji veličaju predbračno djevičanstvo,

in a patriarchy, boys will be boys.

u patrijarhatu, dečki će biti dečki.

Men have sex before marriage,

Muškarci se seksaju prije braka,

and people more or less turn a blind eye.

i ljudi im manje-više progledaju kroz prste.

Not so for women,

Ali tako nije za žene,

who are expected to be virgins on their wedding night --

za koje se očekuje da će biti djevice u prvoj bračnoj noći --

that is, to turn up with your hymen intact.

to jest, da se pojave s netaknutim himenom.

This is not a question of individual concern,

To se ne tiče samo pojedinca,

this is a matter of family honor, and in particular, men's honor.

to je pitanje obiteljske časti, a posebice, muškarčeve časti.

And so women and their relatives

Pa tako žene i njihovi rođaci

will go to great lengths to preserve this tiny piece of anatomy --

će ići jako daleko da očuvaju ovaj maleni dio anatomije --

from female genital mutilation,

od ženskih genitalnih mutilacija,

to virginity testing, to hymen repair surgery.

preko testiranja djevičanstva do operacija obnove himena.

Faiza chose a different route:

Faiza je odabrala drugačiji put:

non-vaginal sex.

nevaginalni seks.

Only she became pregnant all the same.

Samo je ona svejedno ostala trudna.

But Faiza didn't actually realize this,

Ali Faiza to zapravo nije shvaćala,

because there's so little sexuality education in schools,

jer je seksualna edukacija u školama mala,

and so little communication in the family.

i malo je komunikacije u obitelji.

When her condition became hard to hide,

Kad je došla do toga da ne može lako sakriti svoje stanje,

Faiza's mother helped her flee her father and brothers.

Faizina majka joj je pomogla da izbjegne oca i brata.

This is because honor killings are a real threat

Zato što su ubijanja u ime časti stvarna prijetnja

for untold numbers of women in the Arab region.

za neopisivo velik broj žena u arapskoj regiji.

And so when Faiza eventually fetched up at a hospital in Casablanca,

I kad se Faiza konačno dohvatile bolnice u Casablanci,

the man who offered to help her,

čovjek koji joj je ponudio pomoć,

instead tried to rape her.

pokušao ju je silovati.

Sadly, Faiza is not alone.

Nažalost, Faiza nije jedina.

In Egypt, where my research is focused,

U Egiptu, gdje je moje istraživanje usredotočeno,

I have seen plenty of trouble in and out of the citadel.

vidjela sam mnoge nevolje unutar i izvan citadele.

There are legions of young men

Postoje legije mladih muškaraca

who can't afford to get married,

koji si ne mogu priuštiti brak,

because marriage has become a very expensive proposition.

jer je brak postao vrlo skupa propozicija.

They are expected to bear the burden of costs in married life,

Od njih se očekuje da snose teret troškova u bračnom životu,

but they can't find jobs.

ali oni ne mogu naći posao.

This is one of the major drivers of the recent uprisings,

To je jedan od glavnih pokretača nedavnih ustanaka,

and it is one of the reasons for the rising age of marriage

i jedan od razloga za podizanje dobi ulaska u brak

in much of the Arab region.

u većini arapske regije.

There are career women who want to get married,

Tu su također karijeristice koje se žele udati,

but can't find a husband,

ali ne mogu pronaći muža,

because they defy gender expectations,

jer one prkose rodnim očekivanjima,

or as one young female doctor in Tunisia put it to me,

ili kako mi je rekla jedna mlada doktorica u Tunisu,

"The women, they are becoming more and more open.

"Žene postaju sve više otvorenijima.

But the man, he is still at the prehistoric stage."

Ali muškarac je još uvijek u predhistorijskoj fazi."

And then there are men and women who cross the heterosexual line,

Zatim su tu muškarci i žene koji prolaze heteroseksualnu liniju,

who have sex with their own sex,

koji se seksaju s istim spolom,

or who have a different gender identity.

ili imaju različiti rodni identitet.

They are on the receiving end of laws which punish their activities,

Oni su na krajevima zakona koji kažnjavaju njihove aktivnosti,

even their appearance.

čak i njihov izgled.

And they face a daily struggle with social stigma,

I svakodnevno se suočavaju s borbom protiv društvene stigme,

with family despair,

s obiteljskim očajem,

and with religious fire and brimstone.

i religijskom vatrom.

Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either.

Nadalje, nije ni da je sve ružičasto u bračnom krevetu.

Couples who are looking for greater happiness,

Parovi koji se nadaju većoj sreći,

greater sexual happiness in their married lives,

većoj seksualnoj sreći u svojim bračnim životima,

but are at a loss of how to achieve it,

ali ne znaju kako ju postići,

especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women

posebice žene, koje se boje da će ih se promatrati kao loše žene

if they show some spark in the bedroom.

ako pokažu malo iskre u spavaćoj sobi.

And then there are those whose marriages

I onda su tu oni čiji su brakovi

are actually a veil for prostitution.

zapravo krinka za prostituciju.

They have been sold by their families,

Njihove obitelji su ih prodale,

often to wealthy Arab tourists.

često dobrostojećim arapskim turistima.

This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region.

Ovo je samo jedna strana sve veće seksualne trgovine diljem arapske regije.

Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you,

Sad podignite ruku ako vam ovo zvuči poznato,

from your part of the world.

iz vašeg dijela svijeta.

Yeah. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.

Da. Nije da samo arapski svijet ima monopol nad seksualnim psihološkim blokadama.

And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report

I premda nemamo još arapski Kinsey Report

to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region,

koji će nam govoriti što se događa unutar spavaćih soba diljem arapske regije,

It's pretty clear that something is not right.

poprilično je jasno da nešto nije u redu.

Double standards for men and women,

Dvostruki standardi za muškarce i žene,

sex as a source of shame,

seks kao izvor srama,

family control limiting individual choices,

obitelj kontrolira individualne izbore,

and a vast gulf between appearance and reality:

i veliki jaz između vanjštine i realnosti:

what people are doing

što ljudi rade

and what they're willing to admit to,

i što su voljni priznati,

and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers

i općenito opiranje da pomakne iznad privatnih šaputanja

to a serious and sustained public discussion.

prema ozbiljnoj i javno podržanoj raspravi.

As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me,

Kao što mi je jedan liječnik u Kairu sažeo,

"Here, sex is the opposite of sport.

"Ovdje je seks suprotan od sporta.

Football, everybody talks about it,

Nogomet, svi pričaju o njemu,

but hardly anyone plays.

ali ga malo tko igra.

But sex, everybody is doing it,

Ali seks, svi to rade,

but nobody wants to talk about it." (Laughter)

ali nitko ne priča o tome." (Smijeh)

(Music) (In Arabic)

(Glazba) (na arapskom)

SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice,

SEF: Htjela bih vam dati savjet,

which if you follow it, will make you happy in life.

koji, ako ćete ga slijediti, usrećiti će vas.

When your husband reaches out to you,

Kad vaš muž dođe do vas,

when he seizes a part of your body,

kad posegne za dio vašeg tijela,

sigh deeply and look at him lustily.

uzdahnite duboko i pogledajte ga oduševljeno.

When he penetrates you with his penis,

Kad penetrira u vas sa svojim penisom,

try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him.

pokušajte zavodljivo pričati i kretati se u harmoniji s njim.

Hot stuff!

Vruće stvari!

And it might sound that these handy hints

Može vam zvučati da ovi praktični savjeti

come from "The Joy of Sex" or YouPorn.

dolaze iz "Radosti seksa" ili YouPorna.

But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book

Ali ustvari, oni dolaze iz arapske knjige iz 10. stoljeća

called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure,"

nazvane "Enciklopedija užitka"

which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia,

koja pokriva seks od afrodizijaka do zoofilije

and everything in between.

i svega između toga.

The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica,

Enciklopedija je samo jedna iz duge linije arapske erotike,

much of it written by religious scholars.

mnoge od njih napisali su religijski učenjaci.

Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad,

Vratimo li se nazad do Proroka Muhameda,

there is a rich tradition in Islam

postoji bogata tradicija u Islamu

of talking frankly about sex:

iskrenog pričanja o seksu:

not just its problems, but also its pleasures,

ne samo o problemima, već i o užitcima,

and not just for men, but also for women.

ne samo za muškarce, već i za žene.

A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic.

Prije tisuću godina imali smo cijele rječnike seksa na arapskom.

Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature,

Riječi koje su pokrivale svaku zamislivu seksualnu značajku,

position and preference, a body of language

pozu i preferenciju, govor tijela

that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.

koji je bio dovoljno bogat da opiše tijelo žene koje vidite na ovoj stranici.

Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region.

Danas, ova povijest je jako nepoznata u arapskoj regiji.

Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex

Čak i za obrazovane ljude, koji se često osjećaju opuštenijima pričati o seksu

in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue.

na stranom jeziku, nego na vlastitom.

Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America

Današnji seksualni krajolik izgleda poput Europe i Amerike

on the brink of the sexual revolution.

na rubu seksualne revolucije.

But while the West has opened on sex,

Ali dok se Zapad otvorio seksu,

what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction.

čini se da se ono što pronalazimo u apraskim društvima kreće u suprotnom smjeru.

In Egypt and many of its neighbors,

U Egiptu i mnogim susjednim zemljama,

this closing down is part of a wider closing

ovo zatvaranje je dio većeg zatvaranja

in political, social and cultural thought.

u političkom, društvenom i kulturnom smislu.

And it is the product of a complex historical process,

I proizvod je složenog povijesnog procesa

one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism

koji je dobio zemlju s porastkom islamskog konzervatizma

since the late 1970s.

od kasnih 1970-ih.

"Just say no" is what conservatives around the world

"Samo reci ne", kažu konzervativci diljem svijeta

say to any challenge to the sexual status quo.

na bilo koji izazov današnjeg seksualnog stanja.

In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy

U arapskoj regiji takve pokušaje smatraju dijelom zapadne zavjere

to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values.

da unište tradicionalne arapske i islamske vrednote.

But what's really at stake here

No, ono što je ovdje stvarno na kocki

is one of their most powerful tools of control:

je jedan od najmoćnijih alata kontrole:

sex wrapped up in religion.

seks umotan u religiju.

But history shows us that even as recently

Ali povijest nam pokazuje da je čak i nedavno,

as our fathers' and grandfathers' day,

za vrijeme naših očeva i djedova,

there have been times of greater pragmatism,

čak bilo razdoblja većeg pragmatizma,

and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations:

tolerancije i želje uzeti u obzir druge interpretacije:

be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality.

bio to pobačaj, masturbacija, ili čak goruća tema homoseksualnosti.

It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe.

Nije tako crno i bijelo, kao što bi konzervativci htjeli da vjerujemo.

In these, as in so many other matters,

U ovim, kao i u mnogim drugima stvarima,

Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray.

Islam nam nudi barem 50 nijansi sive.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Over my travels,

Tijekom svojih putovanja,

I've met men and women across the Arab region

susretala sam muškarce i žene diljem arapske regije

who've been exploring that spectrum --

koji istražuju taj spektar --

sexologists who are trying to help couples

seksolozi koji pokušavaju pomoći parovima

find greater happiness in their marriages,

da pronađu veću sreću u svojim brakovima,

innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools,

inovatori koji pokušavaju uvesti seksualnu edukaciju u škole,

small groups of men and women,

male grupe muškaraca i žena,

lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual,

lezbijka, homoseksualaca, transrodnih i transseksualnih osoba

who are reaching out to their peers

koje pokušavaju doprijeti do svojih vršnjaka

with online initiatives and real-world support.

s online inicijativama i podrškama u stvarnom svijetu.

Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out

Žene, i sve više muškaraca, koji progovaraju

and push back against sexual violence

i bore se protiv seksualnog zlostavljanja

on the streets and in the home.

na ulicama i u domovima.

Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV

Skupine koje pokušavaju pomoći ljudima u seksualnoj industriji da se zaštite od HIV-a

and other occupational hazards,

i ostalih profesionalnih opasnosti,

and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza

i nevladine organizacije koje pomažu nevjenčanim majkama poput Faize

find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids.

da pronađu mjesto u društvu, i kritično, ostanu sa svojom djecom.

Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded,

Ali ovi napori su maleni, često nedovoljni,

and they face formidable opposition.

i suočavaju se s groznim opozicijama.

But I am optimistic that, in the long run,

Ali vjerujem da se na duže staze

times are changing, and they and their ideas

vremena mijenjaju, i da će oni i njihove ideje

will gain ground.

naići na plodno tlo.

Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation,

Društvene promjene u arapskoj regiji se ne događaju kroz dramatična suočavanja,

beating or indeed baring of breasts,

tučnjavu ili otkrivanje grudi,

but rather through negotiation.

nego putem pregovora.

What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution,

Ovdje ne pričamo o seksualnoj revoluciji

but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world,

već o seksualnoj evoluciji, učeći iz drugih dijelova svijeta,

adapting to local conditions,

prilagođavajući se lokalnim prilikama,

forging our own path, not following one blazed by another.

kovanjem vlastite sudbine, a ne slijedeći tuđu.

That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies,

Taj put, nadam se, jednog dana će nas dovesti do kontrole naših tijela,

and to access the information and services we need

i pristupu podatcima i servisima koje trebamo

to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives.

da vodimo zadovoljne i mirne seksualne živote.

The right to express our ideas freely,

Pravo da slobodno izrazimo naše ideje,

to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners,

da se vjenčamo s onima koje odaberemo, da biramo vlastite partnere,

to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when,

da budemo seksualni aktivni ili ne budemo, da odlučimo želimo li imati djecu i kada,

all this without violence or force or discrimination.

sve to bez nasilja ili sile, ili diskriminacije.

Now we are very far from this across the Arab region,

Mi smo jako daleko od ovog u arapskoj regiji,

and so much needs to change:

a toliko toga se treba promijeniti:

law, education, media, the economy,

zakon, obrazovanje, mediji, ekonomija,

the list goes on and on,

popis je dug,

and it is the work of a generation, at least.

i to je rad barem jedne generacije.

But it begins with a journey that I myself have made,

Ali počinje s putovanjem koje sam sama započela,

asking hard questions of received wisdoms

postavljajući teška pitanja primljene mudrosti

in sexual life.

u seksualnom životu.

And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith,

I to je putovanje koje mi je samo ojačalo vjeru,

and my appreciation of local histories and cultures

i moje razumijevanje lokalnih povijesti i kultura

by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes.

pokazujući mi mogućnosti gdje sam nekad vidjela samo apsolute.

Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region,

Dajući previranja u mnogim zemljama diljem arapske regije,

talking about sex, challenging the taboos,

pričajući o seksu, izazivajući tabue,

seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury.

tražeći inačice koje mogu zvučati kao luksuz.

But at this critical moment in history,

Ali u ovom kritičnom povijesnom trenutku,

if we do not anchor freedom and justice,

ako ne usidrimo slobodu i pravdu,

dignity and equality,

dostojanstvo i jednakost,

privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives,

privatnost i autonomiju u svojim osobnim životima, u svojim seksualnim životima,

we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.

teško ćemo ih postići i u javnom životu.

The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all.

Političnost i seksualnost su intimni partneri, i to je istina za sve nas.

no matter where we live and love.

Bez obzira gdje živimo i volimo.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)