Why I keep speaking up, even when people mock my accent | Safwat Saleem

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

I used to have this recurring dream

Nekad mi se stalno ponavljao sledeći san

where I'd walk into a roomful of people,

u kom bih ušetao u prostoriju punu ljudi

and I'd try not to make eye contact with anyone.

i pokušao da ne pravim kontakt očima s bilo kim.

Until someone notices me,

Sve dok me neko primeti,

and I just panic.

i ja prosto počnem da paničim.

And the person walks up to me,

A osoba mi priđe

and says, "Hi, my name is So-and-so.

i kaže: "Zdravo, zovem se tako-i-tako.

And what is your name?"

A kako se ti zoveš?"

And I'm just quiet, unable to respond.

A ja sam prosto nem, ne mogu da odgovorim.

After some awkward silence, he goes,

Nakon neprijatne tišine, on kaže:

"Have you forgotten your name?"

"Jesi li zaboravio svoje ime?"

And I'm still quiet.

A ja i dalje ćutim.

And then, slowly, all the other people in the room begin to turn toward me

A onda, polako, svi drugi ljudi iz prostorije počinju da se okreću ka meni

and ask, almost in unison,

i pitaju, skoro jednoglasno,

(Voice-over, several voices) "Have you forgotten your name?"

(Sinhronizacija; nekoliko glasova) "Jesi li zaboravio svoje ime?"

As the chant gets louder, I want to respond, but I don't.

Kako hor postaje glasniji, želim da odgovorim, ali ne odgovaram.

I'm a visual artist.

Ja sam vizuelni umetnik.

Some of my work is humorous,

Neka moja dela su duhovita,

and some is a bit funny but in a sad way.

a neka su malčice smešna, ali na tužan način.

And one thing that I really enjoy doing

A nešto u čemu zaista uživam

is making these little animations

je pravljenje ovih kratkih animacija

where I get to do the voice-over for all kinds of characters.

gde dajem glas raznim likovima.

I've been a bear.

Bio sam medved.

(Video) Bear (Safwat Saleem's voice): Hi.

(Video) Medved (Glas Safvata Salima): Zdravo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Safwat Saleem: I've been a whale.

Safvat Salim: Bio sam kit.

(Video) Whale (SS's voice): Hi.

(Video) Kit (Glas SS-a): Zdravo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: I've been a greeting card.

SS: Bio sam čestitka.

(Video) Greeting card (SS's voice): Hi.

(Video) Čestitka (Glas SS-a): Zdravo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: And my personal favorite is Frankenstein's monster.

SS: I moj lični favorit je Frankenštajnovo čudovište.

(Video) Frankenstein's monster (SS's voice): (Grunts)

(Video) Frankenštajnovo čudovište (Glas SS-a): (Groktanje)

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: I just had to grunt a lot for that one.

SS: Samo sam morao da grokćem za taj snimak.

A few years ago, I made this educational video

Pre nekoliko godina sam napravio ovaj obrazovni snimak

about the history of video games.

o istoriji video igara.

And for that one, I got to do the voice of Space Invader.

I za njega sam radio glas svemirskog osvajača.

(Video) Space Invader (SS's voice): Hi.

(Video) Svemirski osvajač (Glas SS): Zdravo.

SS: A dream come true, really,

SS: Ostvarenje sna, zaista.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And when that video was posted online,

A kad je taj snimak postavljen na internet,

I just sat there on the computer, hitting "refresh,"

prosto sam sedeo za kompjuterom, pritiskajući "rifreš",

excited to see the response.

uzbuđen da vidim reakcije.

The first comment comes in.

Prvi komentar je stigao.

(Video) Comment: Great job.

(Video) Komentar: Sjajno.

SS: Yes!

SS: To!

I hit "refresh."

Pritisnem "rifreš".

(Video) Comment: Excellent video. I look forward to the next one.

(Video) Komentar: Odličan snimak. Radujem se sledećem.

SS: This was just the first of a two-part video.

SS: ovo je bilo samo za prvi deo dvodelnog snimka.

I was going to work on the second one next.

Trebalo je da radim na sledećem.

I hit "refresh."

Pritisnem "rifreš".

(Video) Comment: Where is part TWO? WHEREEEEE? I need it NOWWWWW!: P

(Video) Komentar: Gde je DRUGI deo? GDEEEEEE? Potreban mi je SAAAAAD! :p

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: People other than my mom were saying nice things about me,

SS: Ljudi koji nisu moja mama su govorili lepe stvari o meni,

on the Internet!

na internetu!

It felt like I had finally arrived.

Činilo se da sam se konačno probio.

I hit "refresh."

Pritisnem "rifreš".

(Video) Comment: His voice is annoying. No offense.

(Video) Komentar: Glas mu je iritantan. Bez uvrede.

SS: OK, no offense taken. Refresh.

SS: U redu, ne vređam se. Rifreš.

(Video) Comment: Could you remake this without peanut butter in your mouth?

(Video) Komentar: Možeš li ovo da snimiš bez kikiriki putera u ustima?

SS: OK, at least the feedback is somewhat constructive. Hit "refresh."

SS: U redu, bar je povratna informacija unekoliko konstruktivna.

Pritisnem "rifreš".

(Video) Comment: Please don't use this narrator again

(VIdeo) Komentar: Molim te ne koristi više ovog naratora,

u can barely understand him.

jedva se razume.

SS: Refresh.

SS: Rifreš.

(Video) Comment: Couldn't follow because of the Indian accent.

(VIdeo) Komentar: Nisam mogao da pratim zbog indijskog akcenta.

SS: OK, OK, OK, two things.

SS: OK, OK, OK, dve stvari.

Number one, I don't have an Indian accent,

Pod jedan: nemam indijski akcenat,

I have a Pakistani accent, OK?

imam pakistanski akcenat, u redu?

And number two, I clearly have a Pakistani accent.

I pod dva: očito imam pakistanski akcenat.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But comments like that kept coming in,

Ali slični komentari su i dalje stizali,

so I figured I should just ignore them

pa sam shvatio da bi trebalo prosto da ih ignorišem

and start working on the second part of the video.

i da počnem da radim na drugom delu snimka.

I recorded my audio,

Snimio sam svoj audio,

but every time I sat down to edit,

ali svaki put kad bih seo da ga montiram,

I just could not do it.

prosto nisam mogao.

Every single time, it would take me back to my childhood,

Svaki put bi me to vratilo u detinjstvo,

when I had a much harder time speaking.

kad mi je bilo teže da govorim.

I've stuttered for as long as I can remember.

Mucao sam od kad pamtim.

I was the kid in class

Bio sam dete iz odeljenja

who would never raise his hand when he had a question --

koje nikad ne podiže ruku kad ima nešto da pita -

or knew the answer.

ili zna odgoor.

Every time the phone rang,

Svaki put kad bi telefon zazvonio,

I would run to the bathroom so I would not have to answer it.

otrčao bih u kupatilo kako ne bih morao da se javim.

If it was for me, my parents would say I'm not around.

Ako bi poziv bio za mene, moji roditelji bi rekli da nisam tu.

I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

Proveo sam mnogo vremena u kupatilu.

And I hated introducing myself,

I mrzeo sam da se predstavljam,

especially in groups.

naročito u grupama.

I'd always stutter on my name, and there was usually someone who'd go,

Uvek bi zamuckivao svoje ime, i obično bi neko prokomentarisao:

"Have you forgotten your name?"

"Jesi li zaboravio svoje ime?"

And then everybody would laugh.

I onda bi se svi nasmejali.

That joke never got old.

Ta šala nikad nije zastarela.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I spent my childhood feeling that if I spoke,

Proveo sam svoje detinjstvo osećajući da ako progovorim,

it would become obvious that there was something wrong with me,

postaće očigledno da nešto nije u redu sa mnom,

that I was not normal.

da nisam normalan.

So I mostly stayed quiet.

Te sam uglavnom ćutao.

And so you see, eventually for me to even be able to use my voice in my work

Pa, vidite, kasnije je čak i mogućnost korišćenja mog glasa u mom radu

was a huge step for me.

bila ogroman korak za mene.

Every time I record audio,

Svaki put kad snimim zvuk,

I fumble my way through saying each sentence many, many times,

napipavao bih izlaz izgovarajući svaku rečenicu mnogo, mnogo puta,

and then I go back in

a potom bih se vraćao

and pick the ones where I think I suck the least.

i birao one za koje sam verovao da su najmanje bezvezne.

(Voice-over) SS: Audio editing is like Photoshop for your voice.

(Sinhronizacija) SS: Obrada zvuka je poput fotošopa vašeg glasa.

I can slow it down, speed it up, make it deeper, add an echo.

Mogu da ga usporim, ubrzam, učinim dubljim, dodam eho.

And if I stutter along the way, and if I stutter along the way,

A ako zamucam usput, a ako zamucam usput,

I just go back in and fix it.

prosto se vratim i popravim to.

It's magic.

To je magija.

SS: Using my highly edited voice in my work

SS: Upotreba mog izuzetno obrađenog glasa u mom radu

was a way for me to finally sound normal to myself.

je bio način za mene da konačno sebi zvučim normalno.

But after the comments on the video,

Ali nakon komentara na snimak,

it no longer made me feel normal.

više se zbog toga nisam osećao normalno.

And so I stopped using my voice in my work.

Te sam prestao da koristim moj glas u mom radu.

Since then, I've thought a lot about what it means to be normal.

Od tad sam mnogo razmišljao o tome šta znači biti normalan.

And I've come to understand

I stigao sam do zaključka

that "normal" has a lot to do with expectations.

da "normalnost" uveliko zavisi od očekivanja.

Let me give you an example.

Dozvolite da vam dam primer.

I came across this story

Naišao sam na priču

about the Ancient Greek writer, Homer.

o antičkom grčkom piscu Homeru.

Now, Homer mentions very few colors in his writing.

Sad, Homer retko pominje boje u svom pisanju.

And even when he does,

Pa čak i kad to radi,

he seems to get them quite a bit wrong.

čini se da ih baš i ne pogodi.

For example, the sea is described as wine red,

Na primer, more opisuje da je crveno kao vino,

people's faces are sometimes green and sheep are purple.

ljudska lica su ponekad zelena, a ovce su ljubičaste.

But it's not just Homer.

No ne radi se samo o Homeru.

If you look at all of the ancient literature --

Ako pogledate celokupnu drevnu književnost -

Ancient Chinese, Icelandic, Greek, Indian

drevnu kinesku, islandsku, grčku, indijsku,

and even the original Hebrew Bible --

pa čak i originalnu jevrejsku Bibliju -

they all mention very few colors.

u svima njima se retko pominju boje.

And the most popular theory for why that might be the case

A najpopularnija teorija o tome zašto je tako

is that cultures begin to recognize a color

je da su kulture počele da prepoznaju neku boju

only once they have the ability to make that color.

tek kad su bile u mogućnosti da naprave tu boju.

So basically, if you can make a color,

U suštini, ako možete napraviti boju,

only then can you see it.

tek onda je možete videti.

A color like red, which was fairly easy for many cultures to make --

Boja poput crvene, koju je bilo prilično lako napraviti u većini kultura -

they began to see that color fairly early on.

počeli su da vide tu boju prilično rano.

But a color like blue, which was much harder to make --

No boja poput plave, koju je bilo značajno teže napraviti -

many cultures didn't begin to learn how to make that color

mnoge kulture nisu savladale kako da naprave tu boju

until much later.

sve do mnogo kasnije.

They didn't begin to see it until much later as well.

Nisu je ni raspoznavali sve do mnogo kasnije, takođe.

So until then, even though a color might be all around them,

Pa je sve do tad, iako je boja mogla da bude svuda oko njih,

they simply did not have the ability to see it.

prosto nisu bili u stanju da je vide.

It was invisIble.

Bila je nevidljiva.

It was not a part of their normal.

Nije bila deo njihove normalnosti.

And that story has helped put my own experience into context.

A ta priča mi je pomogla da stavim sopstveno iskustvo u kontekst.

So when I first read the comments on the video,

Pa kad sam prvi put čitao komentare na snimak,

my initial reaction was to take it all very personally.

moja prvobitna reakcija je bila da to sve primim lično.

But the people commenting did not know

Ali ljudi koji su komentarisali nisu znali

how self-conscious I am about my voice.

koliko sam samosvestan svog glasa.

They were mostly reacting to my accent,

Većinom su reagovali na moj akcenat,

that it is not normal for a narrator to have an accent.

da nije normalno za naratora da ima akcenat.

But what is normal, anyway?

Ali šta je uopšte normalno?

We know that reviewers will find more spelling errors in your writing

Znamo da će lektori da nađu više omaški u pisanju,

if they think you're black.

ako misle da ste crnac.

We know that professors are less likely to help female or minority students.

Znamo da su profesori manje skloni da pomažu ženama ili studentima manjinama.

And we know that resumes with white-sounding names

I znamo da biografije sa prezimenima koja zvuče belački

get more callbacks than resumes with black-sounding names.

dobijaju više poziva od biografija s prezimenima koja zvuče crnački.

Why is that?

Zašto je tako?

Because of our expectations of what is normal.

Zbog našeg očekivanja toga šta je normalno.

We think it is normal

Smatramo da je normalno

when a black student has spelling errors.

da đak crnac pravi više grešaka u pisanju.

We think it is normal

Smatramo da je normalno

when a female or minority student does not succeed.

kad žena ili đak manjina ne uspeju.

And we think it is normal

I smatramo da je normalno

that a white employee is a better hire than a black employee.

da je radnika belca bolje zaposliti nego crnca.

But studies also show that discrimination of this kind,

Istraživanja takođe pokazuju da su ovakve diskriminacije

in most cases, is simply favoritism,

u većini slučajeva prosto pristrasnost

and it results more from wanting to help people that you can relate to

i proističu više iz želje da pomognemo ljudima s kojima se poistovećujemo

than the desire to harm people that you can't relate to.

nego iz želje da povredimo ljude s kojima se ne poistovećujemo.

And not relating to people starts at a very early age.

A nepoistovećivanje s ljudima počinje u veoma ranom uzrastu.

Let me give you an example.

Dozvolite da vam dam primer.

One library that keeps track of characters

Jedna biblioteka koja vodi evidenciju o likovima

in the children's book collection every year,

u dečjim kolekcijama knjiga svake godine

found that in 2014, only about 11 percent of the books

je otkrila da je 2014. svega oko 11 procenata knjiga

had a character of color.

imalo obojenog lika.

And just the year before, that number was about eight percent,

A samo godinu ranije, taj broj je bio oko osam procenata,

even though half of American children today come from a minority background.

iako danas polovina američke dece vodi poreklo iz manjinskih okruženja.

Half.

Polovina.

So there are two big issues here.

Ovde imamo dva velika problema.

Number one, children are told that they can be anything,

Pod jedan, deci govore da mogu da budu bilo šta,

they can do anything,

da mogu da postignu sve,

and yet, most stories that children of color consume

pa ipak većina priča koju konzumiraju obojena deca

are about people who are not like them.

je o ljudima koji nisu poput njih.

Number two is that majority groups don't get to realize

Pod dva, većina većinskih grupa ne shvata

the great extent to which they are similar to minorities --

u kolikoj su meri slični manjinama -

our everyday experiences, our hopes,

naša svakodnevna iskustva, naše nade,

our dreams, our fears

naši snovi, naši strahovi

and our mutual love for hummus.

i naša uzajamna ljubav prema humusu.

It's delicious!

Preukusan je!

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Just like the color blue for Ancient Greeks,

Baš kao plava boja kod antičkih Grka,

minorities are not a part of what we consider normal,

manjine nisu deo onoga što smatramo normalnim

because normal is simply a construction of what we've been exposed to,

jer je normalnost prosto konstrukcija onoga čemu smo izloženi

and how visible it is around us.

i koliko nam je to vidljivo.

And this is where things get a bit difficult.

A ovde stvari postaju malčice komplikovane.

I can accept the preexisting notion of normal -- that normal is good,

Mogu da prihvatim formiranu pretpostavku normalnosti - da je normalnost dobra,

and anything outside of that very narrow definition of normal is bad.

i da je sve van te svedene definicije normalnosti loše.

Or I can challenge that preexisting notion of normal

Ili mogu da dovedem u pitanje tu formiranu pretpostavku normalnosti

with my work

svojim radom

and with my voice

i svojim glasom

and with my accent

i svojim akcentom

and by standing here onstage,

i stojeći ovde na sceni,

even though I'm scared shitless and would rather be in the bathroom.

iako sam se usrao od straha i radije bih bio u kupatilu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

(Video) Sheep (SS's voice): I'm now slowly starting to use my voice

(Video) Ovca (Glas SS-a): Trenutno polako počinjem da koristim glas

in my work again.

u svom radu, opet.

And it feels good.

I dobar je osećaj.

It does not mean I won't have a breakdown

Ne znači da neću doživeti slom

the next time a couple dozen people say that I talk

sledeći put kad nekoliko desetina ljudi kaže da govorim

(Mumbling) like I have peanut butter in my mouth.

(Mrmljanje) kao da u ustima imam puter od kikirikija.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: It just means I now have a much better understanding

SS: To prosto znači da sad mnogo bolje razumem

of what's at stake,

šta je u pitanju,

and how giving up is not an option.

i kako odustajanje nije opcija.

The Ancient Greeks didn't just wake up one day and realize

Antički Grci se nisu prosto probudili jednog dana i shvatili

that the sky was blue.

da je nebo plavo.

It took centuries, even, for humans to realize what we had been ignoring

Trebalo je čak vekovi da prođu da bi ljudi shvatili šta smo ignorisali

for so long.

toliko dugo.

And so we must continuously challenge our notion of normal,

Stoga moramo stalno da dovodimo u pitanje našu pretpostavku o normalnosti

because doing so is going to allow us as a society

jer će nam, kao društvu, to omogućiti

to finally see the sky for what it is.

da konačno vidimo nebo kakvo jeste.

(Video) Characters: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

(Video) Likovi: Hvala vam. Havala vam. Hvala vam. Hvala vam. Havala vam.

Frankenštajnovo čudovište: (Grokće)

Frankenstein's monster: (Grunts)

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

SS: Thank you.

SS: Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)