In search for the man who broke my neck | Joshua Prager

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Zuzana Matusova Reviewer: Linda Magáthová

One year ago, I rented a car in Jerusalem

Pred rokom som si v Jeruzaleme požičal auto,

to go find a man I'd never met

aby som išiel nájsť muža, ktorého som nikdy nestretol,

but who had changed my life.

no zmenil môj život.

I didn't have a phone number to call to say I was coming.

Nemal som jeho telefónne číslo, aby som mu zavolal, že prídem.

I didn't have an exact address,

Nemal som presnú adresu,

but I knew his name, Abed,

no vedel som, že sa volá Abed.

I knew that he lived in a town of 15,000, Kfar Kara,

Vedel som, že žije v 15-tisícovom meste Kfar Kara,

and I knew that, 21 years before, just outside this holy city,

a vedel som, že pred 21 rokmi mi hneď za týmto svätým mestom

he broke my neck.

zlomil chrbticu.

And so, on an overcast morning in January, I headed north

A tak som sa v jedno zamračené januárové ráno vybral na sever,

off in a silver Chevy to find a man and some peace.

v striebornom Chevy, aby som našiel muža a pokoj v duši.

The road dropped and I exited Jerusalem.

Cesta klesla a ja som vyšiel von z Jeruzalema.

I then rounded the very bend where his blue truck,

Potom som vošiel presne do tej zákruty, kde sa jeho modrý náklaďák,

heavy with four tons of floor tiles,

plný štyroch ton kachličiek,

had borne down with great speed onto the back left corner

vyrútil v plnej rýchlosti na ľavý zadný roh

of the minibus where I sat.

minibusu, v ktorom som sedel.

I was then 19 years old.

Mal som vtedy 19 rokov.

I'd grown five inches and done some 20,000 pushups

Za osem mesiacov som vyrástol o 13 cm a spravil som 20 000 klikov

in eight months, and the night before the crash,

a noc pred tou haváriou

I delighted in my new body,

som si užíval moje nové telo,

playing basketball with friends

hral som s kamošmi basketbal

into the wee hours of a May morning.

až do skorých ranných májových hodín.

I palmed the ball in my large right hand,

Držal som loptu v mojej obrovskej pravej ruke

and when that hand reached the rim, I felt invincible.

a keď sa tá ruka dotkla okraju koša, cítil som sa neporaziteľný.

I was off in the bus to get the pizza I'd won on the court.

Bol som v autobuse a išiel som si po pizzu, ktorú som vyhral na ihrisku.

I didn't see Abed coming.

Nevidel som Abeda prichádzať.

From my seat, I was looking up at a stone town

Z môjho sedadla som mal výhľad na kamenné mestečko

on a hilltop, bright in the noontime sun,

na kopci, jasné v obednom slnku,

when from behind there was a great bang,

keď zozadu prišiel obrovský náraz,

as loud and violent as a bomb.

hlasný a silný ako bomba.

My head snapped back over my red seat.

Hlavu mi hodilo dozadu cez červené sedadlo.

My eardrum blew. My shoes flew off.

Ušné bubienky mi hučali. Odleteli mi topánky.

I flew too, my head bobbing on broken bones,

Ja som tiež preletel, hlava mi poskakovala na zlomených kostiach.

and when I landed, I was a quadriplegic.

a keď som pristál, ostal som ochrnutý.

Over the coming months, I learned to breathe on my own,

Počas nasledujúcich mesiacov som sa naučil samostatne dýchať,

then to sit and to stand and to walk,

neskôr aj posadiť sa, vstať a kráčať,

but my body was now divided vertically.

no moje telo zostalo vertikálne rozdelené.

I was a hemiplegic, and back home in New York,

Ostal som ochrnutý na polovicu tela a doma v New Yorku

I used a wheelchair for four years, all through college.

som štyri roky používal invalidný vozík, celý čas počas vysokej školy.

College ended and I returned to Jerusalem for a year.

Keď som dokončil školu, vrátil som sa na rok do Jeruzalema.

There I rose from my chair for good,

Tam som sa nadobro zbavil vozíka.

I leaned on my cane, and I looked back,

Opieral som sa o palicu a začal som hľadať,

finding all from my fellow passengers in the bus

našiel som všetko od spolucestujúcich v autobuse

to photographs of the crash,

až po fotky z miesta havárie

and when I saw this photograph,

a keď som videl túto fotku,

I didn't see a bloody and unmoving body.

nevidel som krvavé a nehybné telo.

I saw the healthy bulk of a left deltoid,

Videl som zdravý kus ľavého deltového svalu

and I mourned that it was lost,

a smútil som za jeho stratou,

mourned all I had not yet done,

smútil som za všetkým, čo som ešte neurobil,

but was now impossible.

ale teraz to už bolo nemožné.

It was then I read the testimony that Abed gave

Vtedy som si prečítal svedectvo, ktoré Abed vyslovil

the morning after the crash,

v nasledujúce ráno po nehode,

of driving down the right lane of a highway toward Jerusalem.

o zídení z pravého pruhu na diaľnici smerom k Jeruzalemu.

Reading his words, I welled with anger.

Keď som čítal jeho slová, vzkypel vo mne hnev.

It was the first time I'd felt anger toward this man,

Bolo to po prvýkrát, čo som cítil hnev proti tomuto človeku

and it came from magical thinking.

a pochádzal z magického myslenia.

On this xeroxed piece of paper,

Na tomto prefotenom kuse papiera

the crash had not yet happened.

sa tá nehoda ešte neudiala.

Abed could still turn his wheel left

Abed stále mohol strhnúť volant doľava

so that I would see him whoosh by out my window

a videl by som ho presvišťať okolo môjho okna

and I would remain whole.

a zostal by som celý.

"Be careful, Abed, look out. Slow down."

„Pozor Abed, opatrne. Spomaľ.“

But Abed did not slow,

Ale Abed nespomalil,

and on that xeroxed piece of paper, my neck again broke,

a na tom prefotenom kuse papiera sa moja chrbtica opäť zlomila

and again, I was left without anger.

a opäť som zostal bez hnevu.

I decided to find Abed,

Rozhodol som sa, že Abeda nájdem

and when I finally did,

a keď sa mi to konečne podarilo,

he responded to my Hebrew hello which such nonchalance,

odpovedal na môj hebrejský pozdrav s takou nonšalantnosťou,

it seemed he'd been awaiting my phone call.

že sa zdalo, že na môj telefonát čakal.

And maybe he had.

A možno aj čakal.

I didn't mention to Abed his prior driving record --

Abedovi som sa nezmienil o jeho predchádzajúcich vodičských záznamoch –

27 violations by the age of 25,

27 priestupkov do veku 25 rokov,

the last, his not shifting his truck into a low gear on that May day —

posledný z nich, to že si nepodradil vo svojom náklaďáku v ten májový deň...

a nezmienil som sa ani o mojich predchádzajúcich záznamoch,

and I didn't mention my prior record --

the quadriplegia and the catheters,

o ochrnutí, katéteroch,

the insecurity and the loss —

o neistote a strate –

and when Abed went on about how hurt he was in the crash,

a keď sa Abed rozhovoril o tom, aké zranenia utrpel v havárii,

I didn't say that I knew from the police report

nepovedal som, že z policajného spisu viem,

that he'd escaped serious injury.

že vážnym zraneniam unikol.

I said I wanted to meet.

Povedal som, že sa ním chcem stretnúť.

Abed said that I should call back in a few weeks,

Abed povedal, že sa mám ozvať o pár týždňov

and when I did, and a recording told me

a keď som sa ozval, a nahratý hlas mi povedal,

that his number was disconnected,

že toto číslo bolo odpojené,

I let Abed and the crash go.

vykašľal som sa na Abeda aj na haváriu.

Many years passed.

Odvtedy prešlo veľa rokov.

I walked with my cane and my ankle brace and a backpack

Pochodil som so svojou palicou, členkovou podperou a ruksakom

on trips in six continents.

šesť kontinentov.

I pitched overhand in a weekly softball game

Každý týždeň som cez rameno nahadzoval v softballových súťažiach,

that I started in Central Park,

ktoré som začal organizovať v Central Parku,

and home in New York, I became a journalist and an author,

a doma v New Yorku som sa stal novinárom a spisovateľom.

typing hundreds of thousands of words with one finger.

Jedným prstom som napísal stovky tisícov slov.

A friend pointed out to me that all of my big stories

Jeden priateľ mi raz povedal, že všetky moje veľké príbehy

mirrored my own, each centering on a life

odrážajú ten môj, sústredia sa na život,

that had changed in an instant,

ktorý sa v zlomku sekundy zmenil,

owing, if not to a crash, then to an inheritance,

nie kvôli havárii, ale raz kvôli dedičstvu,

a swing of the bat, a click of the shutter, an arrest.

inokedy kvôli švihnutiu pálkou, zaklapnutiu okenice či zatknutiu.

Each of us had a before and an after.

Každý z nás má to svoje „predtým“ a „potom“.

I'd been working through my lot after all.

Cez to svoje som sa prepracovával.

Still, Abed was far from my mind, when last year,

Napriek tomu, Abed bol mimo mojich myšlienok, keď som sa minulý rok

I returned to Israel to write of the crash,

vrátil do Izraela, aby som napísal o havárii.

and the book I then wrote, "Half-Life,"

Kniha, ktorú som vtedy písal – Polovičný život –

was nearly complete when I recognized

bola takmer hotová, keď som si uvedomil,

that I still wanted to meet Abed,

že sa stále chcem s Abedom stretnúť

and finally I understood why:

a konečne som pochopil, prečo:

to hear this man say two words: "I'm sorry."

aby som od tohto muža počul slová: „je mi to ľúto“.

People apologize for less.

Ľudia sa ospravedlňujú aj za menšie veci.

And so I got a cop to confirm that Abed still lived

Tak som od policajta získal potvrdenie, že Abed ešte stále žije

somewhere in his same town,

niekde v tom istom meste

and I was now driving to it with a potted yellow rose in the back seat,

a teraz som tam šoféroval, so žltou ružou v kvetináči na zadnom sedadle,

when suddenly flowers seemed a ridiculous offering.

keď mi tie kvety zrazu začali pripadať ako absurdný dar.

But what to get the man who broke your fucking neck?

Ale čo dať mužovi, ktorý vám zlomil vašu skurvenú chrbticu?

(Laughter)

(smiech)

I pulled into the town of Abu Ghosh,

Zastavil som sa v meste Abu Ghosh

and bought a brick of Turkish delight:

a kúpil som nejakú tureckú sladkosť:

pistachios glued in rosewater. Better.

pistácie zaliate ružovou vodou. Lepšie.

Back on Highway 1, I envisioned what awaited.

Späť na diaľnici 1 som si predstavoval, čo ma čaká.

Abed would hug me. Abed would spit at me.

Abed ma objíme. Napľuje na mňa.

Abed would say, "I'm sorry."

Abed povie: „je mi to ľúto“.

I then began to wonder, as I had many times before,

Začal som sa zamýšľať, ako už mnohokrát predtým,

how my life would have been different

aký by bol môj život,

had this man not injured me,

keby mi tento človek nespôsobil zranenie,

had my genes been fed a different helping of experience.

keby moje gény boli nakŕmené iným sústom skúseností.

Who was I?

Kto som?

Was I who I had been before the crash,

Som tým, kým som bol pred tou nehodou,

before this road divided my life like the spine of an open book?

predtým, ako táto cesta rozdelila môj život ako chrbticu otvorenej knihy?

Was I what had been done to me?

Bol som tým, čo sa mi stalo?

Were all of us the results of things done to us, done for us,

Sme všetci výsledkami toho, čo nám niekto urobil, čo pre nás niekto urobil,

the infidelity of a parent or spouse,

nevera rodiča či druha,

money inherited?

zdedené peniaze?

Were we instead our bodies, their inborn endowments and deficits?

Sme namiesto našich tiel ich vrodenými vlohami a nedostatkami?

It seemed that we could be nothing more than genes and experience,

Zdalo sa mi, že nemôžme byť ničím iným než génami a skúsenosťami,

but how to tease out the one from the other?

ale ako oddeliť jedno od druhého?

As Yeats put that same universal question,

Tak ako si Yeats položil tú istú univerzálnu otázku,

"O body swayed to music, o brightening glance,

„O, telo sa kolísalo do hudby, ó, rozjasňujúci pohľad,

how can we know the dancer from the dance?"

ako rozoznáme tanečníka od tanca?“

I'd been driving for an hour

Išiel som už asi hodinu,

when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my own brightening glance.

keď som sa pozrel do spätného zrkadla a zbadal som svoj rozjasňujúci pohľad.

The light my eyes had carried for as long as they had been blue.

Svetlo, ktoré moje oči nosili, odkedy boli modré.

The predispositions and impulses that had propelled me

Predispozície a impulzy, ktoré ma ako bábätko hnali,

as a toddler to try and slip over a boat into a Chicago lake,

aby som sa pokúsil zhodiť loďku do Chicagskeho jazera,

that had propelled me as a teen

ktoré ma ako tínedžera poháňali k tomu,

to jump into wild Cape Cod Bay after a hurricane.

aby som po hurikáne skočilo do divokého Cape Cod Bay.

But I also saw in my reflection

Ale tiež som vo svojom odraze videl,

that, had Abed not injured me,

že, keby mi Abed nespôsobil zranenie,

I would now, in all likelihood, be a doctor

dnes by som bol pravdepodobne doktor

and a husband and a father.

a manžel a otec.

I would be less mindful of time and of death,

Bol by som si menej vedomý času a smrti

and, oh, I would not be disabled,

a aha, nebol by som postihnutý,

would not suffer the thousand slings and arrows of my fortune.

netrpel by som tie tisícky hodov a šípov osudu.

The frequent furl of five fingers, the chips in my teeth

Časté stisnutie piatich prstov, zuby mám polámané

come from biting at all the many things

z hryzenia všetkých tých vecí,

a solitary hand cannot open.

ktoré jedna ruka nedokáže otvoriť.

The dancer and the dance were hopelessly entwined.

Tanečník a tanec boli beznádejne zapletení.

It was approaching 11 when I exited right

Bolo skoro 11, keď som odbočil doprava,

toward Afula, and passed a large quarry

smerom k Afule, prešiel som okolo obrovského lomu

and was soon in Kfar Kara.

a čoskoro som bol v Kfar Kare.

I felt a pang of nerves.

Bol som nervózny.

But Chopin was on the radio, seven beautiful mazurkas,

Ale z rádia hral Chopin, sedem krásnych mazuriek

and I pulled into a lot by a gas station

a ja som sa zastavil na parkovisku pri čerpacej pumpe,

to listen and to calm.

aby som počúval a upokojil sa.

I'd been told that in an Arab town,

Bolo mi povedané, že v arabskom meste

one need only mention the name of a local

stačí, ak len spomeniete meno obyvateľa

and it will be recognized.

a oni ho hneď spoznajú.

And I was mentioning Abed and myself,

Spomínal som teda Abeda a seba,

noting deliberately that I was here in peace,

naschvál som domácim hovoril,

to the people in this town,

že som prišiel v mieri,

when I met Mohamed outside a post office at noon.

keď som okolo obeda pred poštou stretol Mohameda.

He listened to me.

Vypočul si ma.

You know, it was most often when speaking to people

Viete, takmer vždy, keď sa rozprávam s ľuďmi,

that I wondered where I ended and my disability began,

rozmýšľam, kde končím ja a kde začína moje postihnutie,

for many people told me what they told no one else.

lebo veľa ľudí mi povedalo to, čo iným nepovedali.

Many cried.

Veľa ich plakalo.

And one day, after a woman I met on the street did the same

A raz, keď som na ulici stretol ženu, ktorá zareagovala tak isto,

and I later asked her why,

spýtal som sa jej, prečo,

she told me that, best she could tell, her tears

povedala mi, že jej slzy

had had something to do with my being happy and strong,

mali niečo do činenia s tým, aký som bol šťastný a silný,

but vulnerable too.

no zároveň zraniteľný.

I listened to her words. I suppose they were true.

Vypočul som si ju a myslím, že neklamala.

I was me,

Bol som sám sebou,

but I was now me despite a limp,

no teraz som bol sám sebou napriek postihnutiu,

and that, I suppose, was what now made me, me.

a predpokladám, že to ma urobilo tým, kým som.

Anyway, Mohamed told me

V každom prípade, Mohamed mi povedal to,

what perhaps he would not have told another stranger.

čo by asi nepovedal inému cudzincovi.

He led me to a house of cream stucco, then drove off.

Zaviedol ma k domu s krémovou sadrovou omietkou a potom odišiel.

And as I sat contemplating what to say,

Keď som tam tak sedel a rozmýšľal som, čo poviem,

a woman approached in a black shawl and black robe.

podišla ku mne žena v čiernych šatách a šatke.

I stepped from my car and said "Shalom,"

Vystúpil som z auta a povedal som „Šalom“,

and identified myself,

predstavil som sa

and she told me that her husband Abed

a ona povedala, že jej manžel Abed

would be home from work in four hours.

sa o pár hodín vráti z práce.

Her Hebrew was not good, and she later confessed

Jej hebrejčina nebola veľmi dobrá a neskôr sa priznala,

that she thought that I had come to install the Internet.

že si myslela, že som jej prišiel nainštalovať internet.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

I drove off and returned at 4:30,

Odišiel som a vrátil som sa o 4:30,

thankful to the minaret up the road

vďaka minaretu pri ceste

that helped me find my way back.

sa mi podarilo nájsť cestu späť.

And as I approached the front door,

Ako som sa blížil ku vchodovým dverám,

Abed saw me, my jeans and flannel and cane,

Abed ma zbadal, v mojich rifliach, flanelke a s palicou.

and I saw Abed, an average-looking man of average size.

Ja som zbadal Abeda, priemerne vyzerajúceho chlapa priemernej výšky.

He wore black and white: slippers over socks,

Bol oblečený v čierno-bielom, mal ponožky v sandáloch,

pilling sweatpants, a piebald sweater,

tepláky, strakatý sveter,

a striped ski cap pulled down to his forehead.

a pásikavú lyžiarsku čiapku mal stiahnutú do čela.

He'd been expecting me. Mohamed had phoned.

Očakával ma, Mohamed mu zavolal.

And so at once, we shook hands, and smiled,

Hneď sme si podali ruky a usmiali sa na seba

and I gave him my gift,

a dal som mu svoj darček.

and he told me I was a guest in his home,

Povedal, že som v jeho dome hosťom

and we sat beside one another on a fabric couch.

a posadili sme sa vedľa seba na látkový gauč.

It was then that Abed resumed at once

Abed hneď začal rozprávať

the tale of woe he had begun over the phone

svoju smútočnú historku, s ktorou prišiel v telefonáte

16 years before.

pred šestnástimi rokmi.

He'd just had surgery on his eyes, he said.

Povedal, že práve absolvoval operáciu oka.

He had problems with his side and his legs too,

Mal problém s krížami aj s nohami

and, oh, he'd lost his teeth in the crash.

a, o, počas havárie prišiel o zuby.

Did I wish to see him remove them?

Chcel som vidieť, ako si ich vyberie?

Abed then rose and turned on the TV

Potom sa postavil a zapol telku,

so that I wouldn't be alone when he left the room,

aby som nebol sám, kým on odišiel z izby

and returned with polaroids of the crash

a vrátil sa s fotkami z havárie

and his old driver's license.

a so svojím starým vodičákom.

"I was handsome," he said.

„Bol som pekný,“ povedal.

We looked down at his laminated mug.

Pozreli sme sa na jeho zaliatu fotku.

Abed had been less handsome than substantial,

Abed bol skôr pevný ako pekný,

with thick black hair and a full face and a wide neck.

s hustými čiernymi vlasmi, plnými lícami a širokým krkom.

It was this youth who on May 16, 1990,

Bol to tento mladík, čo 16. mája 1990

had broken two necks including mine,

zlomil dve chrbtice, vrátane tej mojej,

and bruised one brain and taken one life.

poškodil jeden mozog a zobral jeden život.

Twenty-one years later, he was now thinner than his wife,

O dvadsaťjeden rokov neskôr bol chudší ako jeho žena,

his skin slack on his face,

koža na tvári mu ovísala

and looking at Abed looking at his young self,

a ako som sledoval Abeda pozerať sa na svoju mladšiu verziu,

I remembered looking at that photograph of my young self

spomenul som si, ako som sa ja pozeral na svoju fotku z mladosti

after the crash, and recognized his longing.

po havárii a spoznal som jeho túžbu.

"The crash changed both of our lives," I said.

„Tá havária nám obom zmenila život,“ povedal som.

Abed then showed me a picture of his mashed truck,

Potom mi ukázal fotku jeho zničeného náklaďáku

and said that the crash was the fault of a bus driver

a povedal, že to bola chyba šoféra autobusu

in the left lane who did not let him pass.

v ľavom pruhu, ktorý ho nenechal prejsť.

I did not want to recap the crash with Abed.

Nechcel som sa s Abedom vracať k havárii.

I'd hoped for something simpler:

Dúfal som v niečo jednoduchšie:

to exchange a Turkish dessert for two words and be on my way.

vymeniť tureckú sladkosť za ospravedlnenie a odísť preč.

And so I didn't point out that in his own testimony

Tak som teda nepoukázal na to, že vo svojej vlastnej výpovedi

the morning after the crash,

na ďalší deň po nehode

Abed did not even mention the bus driver.

Abed šoféra autobusu ani nespomenul.

No, I was quiet. I was quiet because I had not come for truth.

Nie, bol som ticho. Bol som ticho, lebo som neprišiel kvôli pravde.

I had come for remorse.

Prišiel som kvôli súcitu.

And so I now went looking for remorse

A tak som hľadal súcit

and threw truth under the bus.

a pravdu som hodil pod autobus.

"I understand," I said, "that the crash was not your fault,

„Chápem, že tá havária nebola vaša chyba,“ povedal som,

but does it make you sad that others suffered?"

„ale nemrzí vás, že iní pri tom trpeli?“

Abed spoke three quick words.

Abed povedal tri rýchle slová.

"Yes, I suffered."

„Áno, trpel som.“

Abed then told me why he'd suffered.

Abed mi povedal, prečo trpel.

He'd lived an unholy life before the crash,

Pred haváriou žil nepobožný život

and so God had ordained the crash,

a tak Boh naňho uvalil tú haváriu,

but now, he said, he was religious, and God was pleased.

ale teraz už bol nábožný a Boh bol spokojný.

It was then that God intervened:

A vtedy Boh zasiahol:

news on the TV of a car wreck that hours before

správy v telke o autohavárii, ktorá pár hodín pred tým

had killed three people up north.

zabila troch ľudí na severe.

We looked up at the wreckage.

Obaja sme pozerali na tú haváriu.

"Strange," I said.

„Čudné,“ povedal som.

"Strange," he agreed.

„Čudné,“ súhlasil.

I had the thought that there, on Route 804,

Mal som pocit, že tam na ceste 804

there were perpetrators and victims,

boli páchatelia a obete,

dyads bound by a crash.

dyády spojené haváriou.

Some, as had Abed, would forget the date.

Niektorí, tak ako Abed, zabudnú dátum nehody.

Some, as had I, would remember.

Niektorí, ako ja, si ho zapamätajú.

The report finished and Abed spoke.

Správy skončili a Abed povedal:

"It is a pity," he said, "that the police

„Škoda, že policajti

in this country are not tough enough on bad drivers."

v tejto krajine nie sú dosť tvrdí na zlých vodičov.“

I was baffled.

Bol som bezradný.

Abed had said something remarkable.

Abed povedal niečo pozoruhodné.

Did it point up the degree to which he'd absolved himself of the crash?

Poukazovalo na to, do akej miery sa vzďaľoval od tej havárie?

Was it evidence of guilt, an assertion

Bol to dôkaz jeho viny, myšlienka,

that he should have been put away longer?

že mal sedieť dlhšie?

He'd served six months in prison, lost his truck license for a decade.

Odsedel si šesť mesiacov a stratil svoj náklaďák a vodičák na desať rokov.

I forgot my discretion.

Pozabudol som na takt.

"Um, Abed," I said,

„Hm, Abed,“ povedal som,

"I thought you had a few driving issues before the crash."

„myslel som si, že si mal zopár vodičských problémov pred haváriou.“

"Well," he said, "I once went 60 in a 40."

„No," povedal, „raz som išiel šesťdesiatkou namiesto štyridsiatky.“

And so 27 violations --

A tak 27 priestupkov...

driving through a red light, driving at excessive speed,

jazda na červenú, jazda vysokou rýchlosťou,

driving on the wrong side of a barrier,

jazda na zlej strane vozovky

and finally, riding his brakes down that hill --

a nakoniec, nezabrzdenie na tom kopci...

reduced to one.

všetko sa zmenšilo na jedno.

And it was then I understood that no matter how stark the reality,

A vtedy som pochopil, že je jedno, aká jasná je realita,

the human being fits it into a narrative that is palatable.

ľudský tvor ju napasuje do príbehu, ktorý je stráviteľný.

The goat becomes the hero. The perpetrator becomes the victim.

Koza sa stane hrdinom, páchateľ sa stane obeťou.

It was then I understood that Abed would never apologize.

Vtedy som pochopil, že Abed sa nikdy neospravedlní.

Abed and I sat with our coffee.

Sedeli sme tam s Abedom pri káve.

We'd spent 90 minutes together,

Strávili sme spolu 90 minút

and he was now known to me.

a teraz som ho poznal.

He was not a particularly bad man

Nebol to vyslovene zlý človek,

or a particularly good man.

ani vyslovene dobrý človek.

He was a limited man

Bol to obmedzený človek,

who'd found it within himself to be kind to me.

ktorý to našiel v sebe, byť ku mne milý.

With a nod to Jewish custom,

Podľa židovského zvyku

he told me that I should live to be 120 years old.

mi povedal, že budem žiť do stodvadsiatky.

But it was hard for me to relate to one who had

Bolo však pre mňa ťažké vytvoriť si vzťah s niekým,

so completely washed his hands of his own calamitous doing,

kto si totálne umyl ruky nad svojim katastrofálnym činom,

to one whose life was so unexamined that he said

s niekým, koho život bol taký nepreskúmaný, že povedal,

he thought two people had died in the crash.

že si myslel, že v havárii zahynuli dvaja ľudia.

There was much I wished to say to Abed.

Bolo toho veľa, čo som chcel Abedovi povedať.

I wished to tell him that, were he to acknowledge my disability,

Chcel som mu povedať, že keby si priznal moje postihnutie,

it would be okay,

bolo by to ok,

for people are wrong to marvel

lebo ľudia sa mýlia, keď žasnú

at those like me who smile as we limp.

nad takými ako som ja, ktorí sa usmievajú počas toho ako krívajú.

People don't know that they have lived through worse,

Ľudia nevedia, že oni si prešli niečím horším,

that problems of the heart hit with a force greater than a runaway truck,

že problémy srdca udierajú silou väčšou, akú má rútiaci sa náklaďák,

that problems of the mind are greater still,

že problémy mysle sú oveľa väčšie,

more injurious, than a hundred broken necks.

oveľa zraňujúcejšie ako sto zlomených krkov.

I wished to tell him that what makes most of us who we are

Chcel som mu povedať, že to, čo väčšinu z nás robí tým, kým sme,

most of all

is not our minds and not our bodies

hlavne to nie sú naše mysle a telá,

and not what happens to us,

nie je to to, čo sa nám stane,

but how we respond to what happens to us.

ale to, ako zareagujeme na to, čo sa nám stane.

"This," wrote the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl,

„Toto,“ napísal psychiater Viktor Frankl,

"is the last of the human freedoms:

„je posledná z ľudských slobôd:

to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

vybrať si svoj postoj za hocijakých okolností.“

I wished to tell him that not only paralyzers

Chcel som mu povedať, že nie len paralyzéri

and paralyzees must evolve, reconcile to reality,

a paralyzovaní sa musia vyvíjať, zmierovať sa s realitou,

but we all must --

ale že to musíme všetci...

the aging and the anxious and the divorced and the balding

aj starnúci, aj úzkostliví, aj rozvedení, aj plešatejúci,

and the bankrupt and everyone.

aj skrachovaní a všetci ostatní.

I wished to tell him that one does not have to say

Chcel som mu povedať, že človek nemusí povedať,

that a bad thing is good,

že zlá vec je dobrá,

that a crash is from God and so a crash is good,

že havária prišla od Boha a tak je dobrá,

a broken neck is good.

zlomená chrbtica je dobrá.

One can say that a bad thing sucks,

Človek môže povedať, že zlá vec je na nič,

but that this natural world still has many glories.

ale že tento svet má stále veľa nádhery.

I wished to tell him that, in the end, our mandate is clear:

Chcel som mu povedať, že nakoniec je naša úloha jasná:

We have to rise above bad fortune.

Musíme sa povzniesť nad nešťastie.

We have to be in the good and enjoy the good,

Musíme byť v blízkosti toho dobrého a užívať si to dobré,

study and work and adventure and friendship -- oh, friendship --

štúdium, prácu a dobrodružstvá a priateľstvá, ó, priateľstvá...

and community and love.

a spoločenstvo a lásku.

But most of all, I wished to tell him

Ale najviac zo všetkého som mu chcel povedať to,

what Herman Melville wrote,

čo napísal Herman Melville,

that "truly to enjoy bodily warmth,

že, „aby si si užil telesné teplo,

some small part of you must be cold,

nejaká malá časť tvojho tela musí byť v chlade,

for there is no quality in this world

lebo v tomto svete neexistuje vlastnosť,

that is not what it is merely by contrast."

ktorá je niečím iným než kontrastom.“

Yes, contrast.

Áno, kontrast.

If you are mindful of what you do not have,

Keď si uvedomujete to, čo nemáte,

you may be truly mindful of what you do have,

môžte si lepšie uvedomovať aj to, čo máte

and if the gods are kind, you may truly enjoy what you have.

a ak sú vám bohovia naklonení, môžete si skutočne užívať to, čo máte.

That is the one singular gift you may receive

To je ten jediný dar, ktorý môžete dostať,

if you suffer in any existential way.

ak utrpíte existenčným spôsobom.

You know death, and so may wake each morning

Ste si vedomí smrti, a tak sa každé ráno môžete zobudiť

pulsing with ready life.

plní života.

Some part of you is cold,

Nejakej časti vo vás je chladno,

and so another part may truly enjoy what it is to be warm,

a tak si nejaká iná časť môže skutočne užiť ten pocit zohriatia,

or even to be cold.

či naopak chladu.

When one morning, years after the crash,

Keď som v jedno ráno, roky po nehode

I stepped onto stone and the underside of my left foot

stúpil na kamennú dlážku a spodná časť mojej ľavej nohy

felt the flash of cold, nerves at last awake,

pocítila nával chladu, nervy nakoniec prebudené,

it was exhilarating, a gust of snow.

bolo to neskutočné potešenie, výbuch snehu.

But I didn't say these things to Abed.

Ale toto som Abedovi nepovedal.

I told him only that he had killed one man, not two.

Povedal som mu len, že zabil jedného človeka, nie dvoch.

I told him the name of that man.

Povedal som mu meno toho človeka.

And then I said, "Goodbye."

A potom som povedal: „Dovidenia.“

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(potlesk)

Thanks a lot.

Ďakujem pekne.

(Applause)

(potlesk)