In search for the man who broke my neck | Joshua Prager

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

翻译人员: yl huang 校对人员: Zhao Yini

One year ago, I rented a car in Jerusalem

就在一年前，我在耶路撒冷租了一辆车

to go find a man I'd never met

去寻找一个我从未谋面

but who had changed my life.

但却改变了我一生的人

I didn't have a phone number to call to say I was coming.

我没有他的电话号码

I didn't have an exact address,

我也不知道他住在哪

but I knew his name, Abed,

但我知道他的名字，Abed

I knew that he lived in a town of 15,000, Kfar Kara,

我知道他住在一个有15,000居民的小镇——法卡拉

and I knew that, 21 years before, just outside this holy city,

我还知道，21年前，就在圣城外

he broke my neck.

是他弄断了我的脖子

And so, on an overcast morning in January, I headed north

因此，一月里一个阴沉沉的早上，我乘坐一辆银色雪弗兰，

off in a silver Chevy to find a man and some peace.

一路向北，去寻找那个人，去寻找内心的平静

The road dropped and I exited Jerusalem.

记得车祸那天，我正在离开耶路撒冷的路上

I then rounded the very bend where his blue truck,

突然我的车绕过一个急弯，这时，一辆蓝色卡车

heavy with four tons of floor tiles,

载着四吨重的地砖

had borne down with great speed onto the back left corner

风驰电掣地冲着我的左后方就开过来了

of the minibus where I sat.

风驰电掣地冲着我的左后方就开过来了

I was then 19 years old.

那年我才十九岁

I'd grown five inches and done some 20,000 pushups

八个月就长高了五英寸，还做了大约两万个俯卧撑

in eight months, and the night before the crash,

就在车祸前的那个晚上

I delighted in my new body,

我还对自己的体格洋洋得意

playing basketball with friends

在五月，我跟朋友打篮球能一直打到半夜两三点钟

into the wee hours of a May morning.

在五月，我跟朋友打篮球能一直打到半夜两三点钟

I palmed the ball in my large right hand,

我张开右手，一下就能把篮球稳稳抓住，

and when that hand reached the rim, I felt invincible.

上篮时我的手还能触到篮筐，我感到骄傲无比，无人能敌

I was off in the bus to get the pizza I'd won on the court.

我坐公共汽车是要去取我在球场上赢到的匹萨

I didn't see Abed coming.

我没看到Abed的车，

From my seat, I was looking up at a stone town

当时我正坐在座位上，仰头看一个小山上石头建的小镇

on a hilltop, bright in the noontime sun,

小镇在正午阳光的照耀下闪闪发光

when from behind there was a great bang,

忽然，我身后砰的一声巨响

as loud and violent as a bomb.

就像炸弹爆炸了一样

My head snapped back over my red seat.

我的脑袋一下子撞到了身后的红色座椅

My eardrum blew. My shoes flew off.

我的鼓膜破了，我的鞋子飞了出去

I flew too, my head bobbing on broken bones,

我自己也飞了出去，骨头都碎了，脑袋没了支撑，摇摇晃晃的

and when I landed, I was a quadriplegic.

当我重重地摔到地上时，我的四肢都瘫痪了

Over the coming months, I learned to breathe on my own,

在接下来的几周里，我学着自己喘气，自己坐，自己站，自己走路

then to sit and to stand and to walk,

在接下来的几周里，我学着自己喘气，自己坐，自己站，自己走路

but my body was now divided vertically.

但是我连站都站不起来

I was a hemiplegic, and back home in New York,

我彻底瘫痪了，回到了纽约的家

I used a wheelchair for four years, all through college.

大学四年，我一直在轮椅上度过

College ended and I returned to Jerusalem for a year.

读完大学，我又回到耶路撒冷待了一年

There I rose from my chair for good,

在那里我逐渐康复

I leaned on my cane, and I looked back,

我依靠手杖能从轮椅上站起来

finding all from my fellow passengers in the bus

我回顾往事，试图寻找一切跟车祸有关的东西，

to photographs of the crash,

包括那天与我同车的其他乘客以及关于那次车祸的照片

and when I saw this photograph,

当我看到这张照片时

I didn't see a bloody and unmoving body.

我没有看到一个血淋淋的，不能活动的身体

I saw the healthy bulk of a left deltoid,

我只看到了一块健康的左三角肌

and I mourned that it was lost,

但我倍感痛心，因为它已经不存在了

mourned all I had not yet done,

我更痛心我没有做一些

but was now impossible.

现在看来已经不可能做到的事

It was then I read the testimony that Abed gave

就在那时我看到了Abed提供的口供

the morning after the crash,

提供时间是车祸第二天上午

of driving down the right lane of a highway toward Jerusalem.

车祸地点是那条通往耶路撒冷的右边行车道

Reading his words, I welled with anger.

读完他的口供，我异常愤怒

It was the first time I'd felt anger toward this man,

这是我第一次对这个肇事者感到愤怒

and it came from magical thinking.

他的证词完全来自他的臆想

On this xeroxed piece of paper,

证词是这么写的

the crash had not yet happened.

在车祸发生之前

Abed could still turn his wheel left

Abed能理所当然地左转

so that I would see him whoosh by out my window

而我也应该能看到他从车窗前飞快地闪过

and I would remain whole.

如果这样的话，我就可以毫发无损

"Be careful, Abed, look out. Slow down."

“小心点，Abed， 小心。慢点开”

But Abed did not slow,

但是他丝毫没有减速

and on that xeroxed piece of paper, my neck again broke,

在那份证词上，我的脖子又一次断了

and again, I was left without anger.

又一次，我毫不愤怒地离开了

I decided to find Abed,

我决定去找Abed

and when I finally did,

当我最终联系到他时

he responded to my Hebrew hello which such nonchalance,

他对我这个犹太人毫不关心的打了声招呼

it seemed he'd been awaiting my phone call.

看起来他好像一直在等我的电话

And maybe he had.

或许他就是在等我的电话

I didn't mention to Abed his prior driving record --

我没有提他以前的驾驶记录--

27 violations by the age of 25,

到25岁时已有27次违规

the last, his not shifting his truck into a low gear on that May day —

最后那一次违规，他的卡车没有换挡减速，最终导致了那场发生在五月份的车祸

and I didn't mention my prior record --

我也没有提我以前的痛苦遭遇：

the quadriplegia and the catheters,

四肢瘫痪、导尿管故障等等

the insecurity and the loss —

以及这些问题带给我的不安和损失

and when Abed went on about how hurt he was in the crash,

当Abed为他的伤势喋喋不休时

I didn't say that I knew from the police report

我没有说我已经从警方的报告里知道

that he'd escaped serious injury.

他早已脱离生命危险

I said I wanted to meet.

我说我想见见他

Abed said that I should call back in a few weeks,

Abed让我过几周再跟他联系

and when I did, and a recording told me

可是当我再次打电话时，电话提示我

that his number was disconnected,

这个号码无法接通

I let Abed and the crash go.

我只能让Abed和这场车祸随风而去

Many years passed.

许多年过去了

I walked with my cane and my ankle brace and a backpack

我依靠手杖，踝固定器和双肩包

on trips in six continents.

行走于六大洲

I pitched overhand in a weekly softball game

我在中央公园参加体育活动——每周一次的上手发垒球活动

that I started in Central Park,

我在中央公园参加体育活动——每周一次的上手发垒球活动

and home in New York, I became a journalist and an author,

在纽约，我成为了一名记者和作家

typing hundreds of thousands of words with one finger.

用仅能动的一根手指敲出成百上千个字

A friend pointed out to me that all of my big stories

一个朋友跟我说，我经历过的种种起伏

mirrored my own, each centering on a life

是我自己的真实写照，每次经历都在一瞬间

that had changed in an instant,

改变了我的生活

owing, if not to a crash, then to an inheritance,

因此，如果不是那场车祸，我就不是现在的我

a swing of the bat, a click of the shutter, an arrest.

我不会去学棒球，去当记者，当作家

Each of us had a before and an after.

没有过去就没有现在和未来。

I'd been working through my lot after all.

我毕竟已经走出创伤

Still, Abed was far from my mind, when last year,

我还是逐渐淡忘了Abed ，但就在去年

I returned to Israel to write of the crash,

我返回以色列去写一本有关这次车祸的书

and the book I then wrote, "Half-Life,"

书名就叫《Half-Life》（《半生》）

was nearly complete when I recognized

当书快要写完，我发现

that I still wanted to meet Abed,

我仍然想去见见Abed

and finally I understood why:

我终于知道自己为什么这么“固执”：

to hear this man say two words: "I'm sorry."

我只是想听这个人对我说三个字：“对不起”

People apologize for less.

因为人们要为自己的过失道歉

And so I got a cop to confirm that Abed still lived

因此，我找到了一名警察，确认Abed仍然在世

somewhere in his same town,

还住在他原来住的地方

and I was now driving to it with a potted yellow rose in the back seat,

于是，我开车去找他，还准备了一盆黄玫瑰放在车后座

when suddenly flowers seemed a ridiculous offering.

我突然觉得这些花看起来似乎是一份很可笑的礼物

But what to get the man who broke your fucking neck?

但是，你要拿什么去见一个弄断你脖子的人？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I pulled into the town of Abu Ghosh,

我开到了Abu Ghosh镇

and bought a brick of Turkish delight:

买了一块土耳其软糖

pistachios glued in rosewater. Better.

和有玫瑰香味的开心果（伊拉克产的一种干果）。这比花要好。

Back on Highway 1, I envisioned what awaited.

回到1号高速公路，我想象会有什么事情在前方等待着我

Abed would hug me. Abed would spit at me.

Abed可能会拥抱我，Abed可能会朝我吐口水

Abed would say, "I'm sorry."

Abed也可能会说，“对不起”

I then began to wonder, as I had many times before,

我又开始设想，就像我以前想过很多次一样

how my life would have been different

如果这个人没有伤到我

had this man not injured me,

我的人生会有什么不同

had my genes been fed a different helping of experience.

如果我有一次完全不同的经历

Who was I?

我又会变成什么样子？

Was I who I had been before the crash,

在那条路上发生的一切，一下子把我的人生翻到了“下一页”，

before this road divided my life like the spine of an open book?

我还是那个没出事故前之前的我吗？

Was I what had been done to me?

就因为经历的那些事，我才成了现在这样吗？

Were all of us the results of things done to us, done for us,

父母或者配偶的不忠、财产继承，

the infidelity of a parent or spouse,

这些发生过的事情，

money inherited?

塑造了现在的我们吗？

Were we instead our bodies, their inborn endowments and deficits?

或者，我们现在的样子是由自己的天赋和不足决定的？

It seemed that we could be nothing more than genes and experience,

我们似乎无法逾越遗传和经验的范围

but how to tease out the one from the other?

但是如何将一个因素从另一个因素中梳理出来？

As Yeats put that same universal question,

叶芝（爱尔兰诗人及剧作家）提过相同的问题

"O body swayed to music, o brightening glance,

“随音乐摇曳的身体啊，灼亮的眼神

how can we know the dancer from the dance?"

我们如何区分舞者和舞蹈？”

I'd been driving for an hour

我开了一小时的车

when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my own brightening glance.

当我看后视镜时，我看到了自己神采奕奕的眼神

The light my eyes had carried for as long as they had been blue.

我眼中的光彩就从出生的时候就存在了

The predispositions and impulses that had propelled me

天性和冲动驱使了我

as a toddler to try and slip over a boat into a Chicago lake,

如同一个蹒跚学步的孩童尝试将一艘船推进一个芝加哥的湖

that had propelled me as a teen

驱使我像一个少年一样

to jump into wild Cape Cod Bay after a hurricane.

在飓风后跳进汹涌的鳕鱼角湾

But I also saw in my reflection

但是我也思考过

that, had Abed not injured me,

如果Abed没有伤害我

I would now, in all likelihood, be a doctor

现在的我很可能成为一名医生

and a husband and a father.

一位丈夫，一位父亲

I would be less mindful of time and of death,

但我不会那么关注时间，关注死亡

and, oh, I would not be disabled,

哦，当然，我也不会残疾

would not suffer the thousand slings and arrows of my fortune.

不会承受这不计其数的厄运

The frequent furl of five fingers, the chips in my teeth

手指的频繁收拢

come from biting at all the many things

吃什么都会塞牙缝

a solitary hand cannot open.

一只手无法伸展开

The dancer and the dance were hopelessly entwined.

我的人生——舞者和舞蹈绝望地纠缠在了一起

It was approaching 11 when I exited right

当我驶出高速公路的出口，驶向阿芙拉，已经接近11点了

toward Afula, and passed a large quarry

我经过一个大的采石场

and was soon in Kfar Kara.

不久，就到了法卡拉

I felt a pang of nerves.

我感到一阵紧张

But Chopin was on the radio, seven beautiful mazurkas,

收音机里正在播放肖邦的七首马祖卡舞曲

and I pulled into a lot by a gas station

我驶进一个加油站

to listen and to calm.

因为我想停下来去听几首歌，让自己镇定下来

I'd been told that in an Arab town,

有人告诉过我，在阿拉伯的小镇里

one need only mention the name of a local

你随便说一个当地人的名字

and it will be recognized.

大家都知道他是谁

And I was mentioning Abed and myself,

我说了Abed的名字，而我自己

noting deliberately that I was here in peace,

平静的站在这里

to the people in this town,

对小镇里的人来说并不是不速之客

when I met Mohamed outside a post office at noon.

中午，我在邮局外遇到默罕默德

He listened to me.

他听了我的故事

You know, it was most often when speaking to people

要知道，经常在我向别人说我的经历时

that I wondered where I ended and my disability began,

我才想知道我的人生是在哪里转变，我的残疾是从哪开始

for many people told me what they told no one else.

因为许多人也告诉乐我一些他们从未告诉过别人的事

Many cried.

许多人哭了

And one day, after a woman I met on the street did the same

有一天，我在街上遇到一个妇女，她听完后也哭了

and I later asked her why,

我问她为什么要哭

she told me that, best she could tell, her tears

她告诉我

had had something to do with my being happy and strong,

她被我的乐观和坚强打动，

but vulnerable too.

也为人类身体的脆弱感到惋惜

I listened to her words. I suppose they were true.

我听完了她的话。我认为大家说的都是真心话

I was me,

我曾经是我

but I was now me despite a limp,

我现在也还是我，只不过变成了跛子

and that, I suppose, was what now made me, me.

即使那样，我期望知道到底是什么造就了我

Anyway, Mohamed told me

默罕默德告诉我一件

what perhaps he would not have told another stranger.

他可能不会告诉其他陌生人的事

He led me to a house of cream stucco, then drove off.

他把我领到一座奶油色的房子外，然后开车离开了

And as I sat contemplating what to say,

我坐在车上，琢磨着该说点啥

a woman approached in a black shawl and black robe.

一个披着黑色披肩、穿着黑色长袍的女人向我走来

I stepped from my car and said "Shalom,"

我走下车，说“您好”

and identified myself,

然后介绍我自己

and she told me that her husband Abed

她告诉我她丈夫Abed

would be home from work in four hours.

4小时后就会下班回家

Her Hebrew was not good, and she later confessed

她的希伯来语不太好，后来她承认

that she thought that I had come to install the Internet.

她以为我是来安装网络的

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I drove off and returned at 4:30,

我开车离开，然后在4:30又去了

thankful to the minaret up the road

多亏路旁的尖塔

that helped me find my way back.

帮我找到了来时的路

And as I approached the front door,

当我走近Abed家的前门时

Abed saw me, my jeans and flannel and cane,

Abed看到了我——穿着牛仔裤和法兰绒上衣，拄着手杖

and I saw Abed, an average-looking man of average size.

我也看到了他，一个相貌普通、中等身材的男人

He wore black and white: slippers over socks,

他穿着黑白相间的上衣，套着袜子踩着拖鞋

pilling sweatpants, a piebald sweater,

穿着起球的运动裤和黑白斑点的毛衣

a striped ski cap pulled down to his forehead.

一顶带条纹的滑雪帽遮住了他的额头

He'd been expecting me. Mohamed had phoned.

他一直在等我，默罕默德已经打电话通知他了

And so at once, we shook hands, and smiled,

所以，很自然地，我们俩伸手，握手，微笑

and I gave him my gift,

我交给他我带来的礼物

and he told me I was a guest in his home,

他对我说我是他尊贵的客人

and we sat beside one another on a fabric couch.

我们紧挨着坐在布沙发上

It was then that Abed resumed at once

这时，Abed继续讲起了

the tale of woe he had begun over the phone

16年前电话中没讲完的悲惨故事

16 years before.

16年前电话中没讲完的悲惨故事

He'd just had surgery on his eyes, he said.

他说，他的眼睛那时刚做完手术

He had problems with his side and his legs too,

而且他一侧的身体和大腿也有毛病

and, oh, he'd lost his teeth in the crash.

哦，对了，在那场车祸里他也失去了牙齿

Did I wish to see him remove them?

他问，你想不想看我摘掉的那些坏牙？

Abed then rose and turned on the TV

然后Abed站起来，打开电视机

so that I wouldn't be alone when he left the room,

他认为那样的话，当他离开房间时我就不会感到孤单

and returned with polaroids of the crash

当他回来的时候，手里拿着那次车祸的照片

and his old driver's license.

和他的旧驾照

"I was handsome," he said.

“我当时很帅” 他说

We looked down at his laminated mug.

我们低头看他的叠层杯上的照片

Abed had been less handsome than substantial,

Abed并没有他自己说的那么帅

with thick black hair and a full face and a wide neck.

照片上是一个浓密黑发、圆脸、宽下巴的年轻人

It was this youth who on May 16, 1990,

就是这个年轻人，在1990年5月16日，

had broken two necks including mine,

弄断了包括我在内的两个人的脖子

and bruised one brain and taken one life.

挫伤了一个人的大脑，夺去了一个人的生命

Twenty-one years later, he was now thinner than his wife,

21年后，他比他的妻子还要瘦

his skin slack on his face,

他脸上皮肤松弛

and looking at Abed looking at his young self,

看看现在的Abed， 再看看年轻时的他

I remembered looking at that photograph of my young self

我想起了车祸后看我自己年轻时的照片

after the crash, and recognized his longing.

我看出了他的想法

"The crash changed both of our lives," I said.

我说 "车祸改变我们的生活”

Abed then showed me a picture of his mashed truck,

Abed又给我看了一张照片，是他那辆撞得破烂的卡车

and said that the crash was the fault of a bus driver

他说，车祸全是那个公交车司机的错

in the left lane who did not let him pass.

那个司机在左车道上没有给他让路

I did not want to recap the crash with Abed.

我不想对Abed重述那次车祸

I'd hoped for something simpler:

我来的目的很简单：

to exchange a Turkish dessert for two words and be on my way.

用那块土耳其糖换来三个字，然后立刻走人

And so I didn't point out that in his own testimony

所以，我没有提到车祸第二天早上他提供的证词

the morning after the crash,

所以，我没有提到车祸第二天早上他提供的证词

Abed did not even mention the bus driver.

Abed甚至没有提到那个公交车司机

No, I was quiet. I was quiet because I had not come for truth.

但是，我很平静，我平静是因为我不是为真相而来

I had come for remorse.

我是为他的自责而来

And so I now went looking for remorse

所以，我将事实真相抛开

and threw truth under the bus.

只希望听到他的自责

"I understand," I said, "that the crash was not your fault,

“我知道，” 我说，“那场车祸绝不是你的错，

but does it make you sad that others suffered?"

但是你为自己让别人受伤而难受过吗？"

Abed spoke three quick words.

Abed很快地说出几个字

"Yes, I suffered."

“是的，我很难受。”

Abed then told me why he'd suffered.

Abed然后告诉我他为什么难受

He'd lived an unholy life before the crash,

车祸前他一直过着没有信仰的罪恶的生活

and so God had ordained the crash,

所以上帝降下了这次车祸

but now, he said, he was religious, and God was pleased.

但是现在，他说，他信仰宗教，上帝很高兴

It was then that God intervened:

就在谈话时，上帝“介入”了

news on the TV of a car wreck that hours before

就在这时，电视新闻播报几小时前的一场车祸中

had killed three people up north.

三个向北行驶的人死了

We looked up at the wreckage.

我们看着汽车残骸

"Strange," I said.

“很奇怪，” 我说

"Strange," he agreed.

“是的，很奇怪” 他随声附和

I had the thought that there, on Route 804,

我有一个想法，那里，就在804号路上

there were perpetrators and victims,

那里有肇事者和受害者

dyads bound by a crash.

他们因为车祸联系到了一起

Some, as had Abed, would forget the date.

一些人，比如Abed，可能忘了车祸的具体日期

Some, as had I, would remember.

另一些人，比如我，却牢牢记得

The report finished and Abed spoke.

播报完了，Abed开口说话

"It is a pity," he said, "that the police

“很遗憾” ，他说

in this country are not tough enough on bad drivers."

“这个国家的警察对差劲的司机不够严厉。”

I was baffled.

我很困惑

Abed had said something remarkable.

Abed说了些有道理的话

Did it point up the degree to which he'd absolved himself of the crash?

这样就能为他开脱车祸肇事的责任吗？

Was it evidence of guilt, an assertion

那是他内疚的表现吗？

that he should have been put away longer?

他认为他的确罪不可赦，该被多关几年？

He'd served six months in prison, lost his truck license for a decade.

他在监狱里呆了6个月，十年里不得开卡车

I forgot my discretion.

我忘记了我来时的谨慎

"Um, Abed," I said,

“嗯，Abed” ，我说

"I thought you had a few driving issues before the crash."

“我想，在车祸前你就已经有一些驾驶问题了”

"Well," he said, "I once went 60 in a 40."

“是的，” 他承认，“我有一次在限速40英里的路上加速到60英里”

And so 27 violations --

那27次违章——

driving through a red light, driving at excessive speed,

包括闯红灯、超速、

driving on the wrong side of a barrier,

逆行，

and finally, riding his brakes down that hill --

最后，踩着刹车冲下山

reduced to one.

26次违章驾驶，说没有就没有了。

And it was then I understood that no matter how stark the reality,

我终于意识到，无论事实多么明显

the human being fits it into a narrative that is palatable.

那个人都会把残酷的事实说成有趣的故事

The goat becomes the hero. The perpetrator becomes the victim.

懦夫成了英雄，犯罪的人反而成了受害者

It was then I understood that Abed would never apologize.

就在那时，我意识到Abed永远不会道歉

Abed and I sat with our coffee.

Abed和我坐在一起，喝着咖啡

We'd spent 90 minutes together,

我们在一起待了一个半小时

and he was now known to me.

我现在知道他的为人了

He was not a particularly bad man

算不上恶贯满盈

or a particularly good man.

当然也绝非善类

He was a limited man

他是一个有缺点的人

who'd found it within himself to be kind to me.

自己觉得对我还算是和气

With a nod to Jewish custom,

他朝我行了一个犹太礼节的点头礼

he told me that I should live to be 120 years old.

还祝愿我能活到120岁

But it was hard for me to relate to one who had

但是，我恐怕没法跟这么一个说洗手不干就能把自己的罪过一笔勾销的家伙扯上交情

so completely washed his hands of his own calamitous doing,

但是，我恐怕没法跟这么一个说洗手不干就能把自己的罪过一笔勾销的家伙扯上交情

to one whose life was so unexamined that he said

他浑浑噩噩的

he thought two people had died in the crash.

竟然以为那场车祸的结果就是“有两个人死了”

There was much I wished to say to Abed.

我有很多话想对Abed说

I wished to tell him that, were he to acknowledge my disability,

我想问他，他是否知道车祸后我残疾了

it would be okay,

当人们对那些像我一样，

for people are wrong to marvel

虽然跛行却面带微笑的人感到惊奇时

at those like me who smile as we limp.

他们是不对的。但那不算什么。

People don't know that they have lived through worse,

因为他们不知道我们已经历经困难

that problems of the heart hit with a force greater than a runaway truck,

我们内心遭受的打击带来的问题远比一辆失控的卡车严重得多

that problems of the mind are greater still,

我们思想上的问题也要比弄断一百个脖子带来的问题更严重

more injurious, than a hundred broken necks.

我们思想上的问题也要比弄断一百个脖子带来的问题更严重

I wished to tell him that what makes most of us who we are

我想告诉他是什么造就我们

most of all

真正造就我们的，

is not our minds and not our bodies

不是我们的思想或者身体

and not what happens to us,

也不是发生在我们身上的事情

but how we respond to what happens to us.

而是我们对待这些事情的态度

"This," wrote the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl,

精神病学家维克多·弗兰克曾写道

"is the last of the human freedoms:

“在任何给定的情况下选择自己的态度

to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

这是人类最后的自由。”

I wished to tell him that not only paralyzers

我想告诉他，不仅是瘫痪的人和“让别人瘫痪的人”

and paralyzees must evolve, reconcile to reality,

要共同进步，甘心接受事实

but we all must --

我们所有的人都要接受现实

the aging and the anxious and the divorced and the balding

接受衰老、忧虑、离婚、秃头

and the bankrupt and everyone.

还有破产等等。每个人都要做到

I wished to tell him that one does not have to say

我希望告诉他，人不要总说

that a bad thing is good,

坏事很好

that a crash is from God and so a crash is good,

车祸是上帝带来的，所以车祸是好的

a broken neck is good.

断了脖子是好的

One can say that a bad thing sucks,

一个人可以说一件坏事令人讨厌

but that this natural world still has many glories.

但世上还有许多可以值得我骄傲的事

I wished to tell him that, in the end, our mandate is clear:

到最后，我希望告诉他 ，我们要做的事很简单

We have to rise above bad fortune.

我们要从厄运中走出来

We have to be in the good and enjoy the good,

我们要保持好的状态并且享受这种状态

study and work and adventure and friendship -- oh, friendship --

学习，工作，冒险和交朋友——哦——友谊

and community and love.

集体和爱

But most of all, I wished to tell him

但最重要的是，我想告诉Abed

what Herman Melville wrote,

赫尔曼·麦尔维尔（美国作家）的一句话

that "truly to enjoy bodily warmth,

“正因为身体的某些部分感觉寒冷

some small part of you must be cold,

才能真正享受身体所受到的温暖

for there is no quality in this world

因为在这个世界上，

that is not what it is merely by contrast."

有比较才有认识

Yes, contrast.

是的，比较

If you are mindful of what you do not have,

如果你介意你没有的东西

you may be truly mindful of what you do have,

你可能也会介意你已经拥有了的

and if the gods are kind, you may truly enjoy what you have.

如果上帝是仁慈的，你可能会真正享受你拥有的

That is the one singular gift you may receive

不管你正遭受着何种苦难

if you suffer in any existential way.

这都是一份你会获得的小礼物

You know death, and so may wake each morning

你知道死亡，所以可以每天早上醒来

pulsing with ready life.

还具有生命般的脉动

Some part of you is cold,

当你的身体某些部分感到寒冷

and so another part may truly enjoy what it is to be warm,

另外的一些部分才能真正感受到什么是温暖

or even to be cold.

或者什么是更寒冷

When one morning, years after the crash,

车祸后的很多年的一天早上，天正下着雪，

I stepped onto stone and the underside of my left foot

我漫步在石子路上，我的左脚底

felt the flash of cold, nerves at last awake,

终于恢复了知觉，感受到了一丝寒冷、紧张

it was exhilarating, a gust of snow.

那真是令人愉悦的一阵雪

But I didn't say these things to Abed.

但是我不想把这些说给Abed听

I told him only that he had killed one man, not two.

我只是告诉他，他杀死的是一个人，不是两个

I told him the name of that man.

我还告诉他那个人的名字

And then I said, "Goodbye."

然后，我说 “再见”

Thank you.

谢谢

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thanks a lot.

多谢

(Applause)

（掌声）