In search for the man who broke my neck | Joshua Prager

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

譯者: illusion Hung 審譯者: Juliana So

One year ago, I rented a car in Jerusalem

一年前，我在耶路撒冷租了一輛車

to go find a man I'd never met

尋找一位素未謀面

but who had changed my life.

卻改變我一生的人

I didn't have a phone number to call to say I was coming.

我沒有對方的電話號碼，不能告知他我即將造訪

I didn't have an exact address,

我沒有確切地址

but I knew his name, Abed,

但我知道他的名字，Abed

I knew that he lived in a town of 15,000, Kfar Kara,

我知道他住在一個 人口只有 15,000 的小鎮 Kfar Kara

and I knew that, 21 years before, just outside this holy city,

而且我知道21年前，就在這座聖城外

he broke my neck.

他弄斷了我的脖子

And so, on an overcast morning in January, I headed north

因此，在一月某個陰霾密佈的早晨，我前往北方

off in a silver Chevy to find a man and some peace.

乘著一輛銀色雪佛蘭 去尋找一名男子和些許平靜

The road dropped and I exited Jerusalem.

道路向前延伸，我離開了耶路撒冷

I then rounded the very bend where his blue truck,

接著車子繞過那個轉彎處 那個停著他的藍色卡車的地方

heavy with four tons of floor tiles,

上面載著四噸重的地磚

had borne down with great speed onto the back left corner

當時那車以極高的速度，從左後方撞向

of the minibus where I sat.

我搭的小型公車

I was then 19 years old.

當時我19歲

I'd grown five inches and done some 20,000 pushups

我長高了5英吋，大約做了兩萬個伏地挺身

in eight months, and the night before the crash,

就在意外當生之前那八個月中，在車禍前一晚

I delighted in my new body,

我對自己剛練出的體格十分滿意

playing basketball with friends

五月份時，我曾經徹夜和朋友打籃球

into the wee hours of a May morning.

直到清晨

I palmed the ball in my large right hand,

我用巨大的右掌將球一把抓住

and when that hand reached the rim, I felt invincible.

當那隻手碰到籃框時，我感到所向無敵

I was off in the bus to get the pizza I'd won on the court.

我搭公車出城是為了 去拿我從球場上贏得的披薩

I didn't see Abed coming.

我沒有預想到Abed的出現

From my seat, I was looking up at a stone town

當時我從座位上仰視一座山丘上的石城

on a hilltop, bright in the noontime sun,

在正午的陽光下閃閃發光

when from behind there was a great bang,

此時身後傳來猛烈的撞擊

as loud and violent as a bomb.

彷彿炸彈爆炸般的巨響和衝力

My head snapped back over my red seat.

我的脖子折向紅色座椅後方

My eardrum blew. My shoes flew off.

我的鼓膜破裂，我的鞋子飛出

I flew too, my head bobbing on broken bones,

我也同樣飛出，腦袋在折斷的頸椎上晃動

and when I landed, I was a quadriplegic.

當我著地時，已成了半身不遂的人

Over the coming months, I learned to breathe on my own,

接下來幾個月中，我學著靠自己呼吸

then to sit and to stand and to walk,

然後學著自行坐起、站立、行走

but my body was now divided vertically.

但我已無法直起身體

I was a hemiplegic, and back home in New York,

我成了半身不遂的人，我回到紐約的家鄉

I used a wheelchair for four years, all through college.

整整四年的大學時光，我都在輪椅上度過

College ended and I returned to Jerusalem for a year.

大學畢業後，我返回耶路撒冷待了一年

There I rose from my chair for good,

我在那裡逐漸脫離輪椅

I leaned on my cane, and I looked back,

藉由手杖行走，我回顧過往

finding all from my fellow passengers in the bus

試著尋找公車上所有乘客

to photographs of the crash,

和車禍相關照片

and when I saw this photograph,

當我看見這張照片時

I didn't see a bloody and unmoving body.

眼中所見並非血淋淋而無法動彈的身體

I saw the healthy bulk of a left deltoid,

我看見的是那塊健康的左三角肌

and I mourned that it was lost,

痛心它已不復存在

mourned all I had not yet done,

痛心所有我尚未做過的事

but was now impossible.

但現在已不可能做到

It was then I read the testimony that Abed gave

就在那時，我讀了Abed於車禍發生後 那天上午提供的證詞

the morning after the crash,

就在那時，我讀了Abed於車禍發生後 那天上午提供的證詞

of driving down the right lane of a highway toward Jerusalem.

當時他沿著通往耶路撒冷的右側車道前進

Reading his words, I welled with anger.

讀完他的證詞後，我滿腔怒火

It was the first time I'd felt anger toward this man,

這是我第一次對這名男子感到憤怒

and it came from magical thinking.

這來自所謂的「神奇式思考」

On this xeroxed piece of paper,

在這個版本中

the crash had not yet happened.

車禍尚未發生

Abed could still turn his wheel left

Abed可以順利左轉

so that I would see him whoosh by out my window

因此我能看見他從窗外呼嘯而過

and I would remain whole.

我得以毫髮無傷

"Be careful, Abed, look out. Slow down."

「注意，Abed，小心點，放慢速度」

But Abed did not slow,

但Abed並未減速

and on that xeroxed piece of paper, my neck again broke,

在那個版本中，我的脖子再次折斷

and again, I was left without anger.

再次地，我的怒火逐漸平息

I decided to find Abed,

我決定尋找Abed

and when I finally did,

當我終於找到他時

he responded to my Hebrew hello which such nonchalance,

他從容不迫地回應我 以希伯來語打的招呼

it seemed he'd been awaiting my phone call.

似乎一直在等我的電話

And maybe he had.

或許確實如此

I didn't mention to Abed his prior driving record --

我並未向Abed提起他之前的駕駛記錄

27 violations by the age of 25,

25歲時已有27次違規

the last, his not shifting his truck into a low gear on that May day —

最後一次正是五月那場車禍，他的卡車並未減速

and I didn't mention my prior record --

我並未提起我之前的遭遇－

the quadriplegia and the catheters,

四肢癱瘓、插著導尿管

the insecurity and the loss —

種種不安和失落

and when Abed went on about how hurt he was in the crash,

當Abed滔滔不絕地訴說 他在車禍中傷得多重時

I didn't say that I knew from the police report

我並未提起我從警方報告得知

that he'd escaped serious injury.

他並未受到重傷

I said I wanted to meet.

我說我想和他見面

Abed said that I should call back in a few weeks,

Abed說我不妨幾週後再打電話給他

and when I did, and a recording told me

當我這麼做時，語音訊息告訴我

that his number was disconnected,

這個號碼無法接通

I let Abed and the crash go.

我放下Abed和這場車禍

Many years passed.

多年過去

I walked with my cane and my ankle brace and a backpack

我帶著手杖、護踝和背包

on trips in six continents.

遨遊六大洲

I pitched overhand in a weekly softball game

我開始在中央公園每週一次的 壘球比賽中嘗試上肩投球

that I started in Central Park,

我開始在中央公園每週一次的 壘球比賽中嘗試上肩投球

and home in New York, I became a journalist and an author,

在紐約的家鄉，我成了記者和作家

typing hundreds of thousands of words with one finger.

用一根手指打出成千上萬個字

A friend pointed out to me that all of my big stories

某位朋友指出，我所有的作品

mirrored my own, each centering on a life

都反映出我本身的經歷，每個故事都著重於

that had changed in an instant,

瞬間改變人生的事件

owing, if not to a crash, then to an inheritance,

因此除了車禍，還有繼承

a swing of the bat, a click of the shutter, an arrest.

揮棒、按快門、逮捕

Each of us had a before and an after.

每個人都有過去和未來

I'd been working through my lot after all.

畢竟我已經歷我的命運

Still, Abed was far from my mind, when last year,

儘管我逐漸淡忘Abed，直到去年

I returned to Israel to write of the crash,

為了撰寫關於這場車禍的經歷，我重返以色列

and the book I then wrote, "Half-Life,"

當這本著作《Half-Life》

was nearly complete when I recognized

即將完成時，我意識到

that I still wanted to meet Abed,

我仍然想和Abed見面

and finally I understood why:

我終於明白其中原因：

to hear this man say two words: "I'm sorry."

我想聽這個人說兩個字：抱歉

People apologize for less.

人們會為更微不足道的事道歉

And so I got a cop to confirm that Abed still lived

因此我向一名警察確認，Abed仍住在

somewhere in his same town,

原本那個小鎮某處

and I was now driving to it with a potted yellow rose in the back seat,

這次我開車前往，後座放了一盆黃玫瑰

when suddenly flowers seemed a ridiculous offering.

此時我突然覺得鮮花 似乎是一份荒謬至極的禮物

But what to get the man who broke your fucking neck?

但你還能帶什麼 給弄斷你該死的脖子的人？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I pulled into the town of Abu Ghosh,

我駛進Abu Ghosh鎮

and bought a brick of Turkish delight:

買了一塊土耳其軟糖

pistachios glued in rosewater. Better.

帶著玫瑰花香的開心果口味。這好多了

Back on Highway 1, I envisioned what awaited.

我駛回1號高速公路 想像等待我的會是什麼

Abed would hug me. Abed would spit at me.

Abed或許會擁抱我 Abed或許會朝我吐口水

Abed would say, "I'm sorry."

Abed或許會說，「抱歉」

I then began to wonder, as I had many times before,

接著我開始想像 如同曾經浮現過無數次的想法

how my life would have been different

我的人生將有何不同？

had this man not injured me,

如果這個人不曾使我受傷

had my genes been fed a different helping of experience.

如果我曾經擁有不同經歷

Who was I?

我會是什麼樣的人？

Was I who I had been before the crash,

我會是車禍之前那個我嗎？

before this road divided my life like the spine of an open book?

在那條道路彷彿攤開書本的書脊般 將我的人生一分為二之前？

Was I what had been done to me?

我是否是過往經歷的產物？

Were all of us the results of things done to us, done for us,

是否世上每個人都是過往經歷的產物？

the infidelity of a parent or spouse,

例如父母的離異或配偶的不忠

money inherited?

或繼承的財產？

Were we instead our bodies, their inborn endowments and deficits?

是否塑造我們的 並非身體和與生俱來的天賦及缺陷？

It seemed that we could be nothing more than genes and experience,

彷彿我們僅是遺傳和經驗的產物

but how to tease out the one from the other?

但如何分辨其中差異？

As Yeats put that same universal question,

如葉慈曾經提出的概念問題

"O body swayed to music, o brightening glance,

「喔，隨著音樂搖曳的身體喔，閃亮的眼神」

how can we know the dancer from the dance?"

「我們如何區分舞者與舞蹈？」

I'd been driving for an hour

我開了一小時的車

when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my own brightening glance.

當我望向後照鏡時，看見自己閃亮的眼神

The light my eyes had carried for as long as they had been blue.

眼中的光芒從出生就已存在

The predispositions and impulses that had propelled me

天性和衝動驅使我

as a toddler to try and slip over a boat into a Chicago lake,

像個蹣跚學步的孩子般 試圖從船上撲進芝加哥某個湖中

that had propelled me as a teen

驅使我彷彿青少年般

to jump into wild Cape Cod Bay after a hurricane.

在颶風後跳入波濤洶湧的鱈魚角

But I also saw in my reflection

但我也從鏡中倒影看見

that, had Abed not injured me,

如果Abed不曾使我受傷

I would now, in all likelihood, be a doctor

現在我很可能成為一位醫生

and a husband and a father.

一位丈夫、一位父親

I would be less mindful of time and of death,

我不會那麼在意時間和死亡

and, oh, I would not be disabled,

喔，我也不會殘廢

would not suffer the thousand slings and arrows of my fortune.

不會遭受無數坎坷的命運

The frequent furl of five fingers, the chips in my teeth

不時蜷起的五指、齒縫間的碎片

come from biting at all the many things

來自大部分我咬過的東西

a solitary hand cannot open.

一隻無法張開的手

The dancer and the dance were hopelessly entwined.

舞者和舞蹈永遠無法合而為一

It was approaching 11 when I exited right

當我駛出通往Afula的交流道時，將近11點

toward Afula, and passed a large quarry

經過一座大採石場後

and was soon in Kfar Kara.

很快就抵達Kfar Kara

I felt a pang of nerves.

我感到一陣緊張

But Chopin was on the radio, seven beautiful mazurkas,

但收音機裡正播放蕭邦的樂曲 七首美妙的馬祖卡舞曲

and I pulled into a lot by a gas station

我駛入某個加油站旁的停車場

to listen and to calm.

仔細聆聽，試著恢復平靜

I'd been told that in an Arab town,

我聽說在阿拉伯小鎮裡

one need only mention the name of a local

只要提起當地人的名字

and it will be recognized.

必定有人認識

And I was mentioning Abed and myself,

我說明Abed和我的關係

noting deliberately that I was here in peace,

強調我來此並無惡意

to the people in this town,

對這座小鎮的居民

when I met Mohamed outside a post office at noon.

正午時分，我在郵局外遇見Mohamed

He listened to me.

他聽我訴說來意

You know, it was most often when speaking to people

你們知道大多數情況下，當我向人們訴說

that I wondered where I ended and my disability began,

我想知道我之前的人生終止於何處 我的殘疾從何而來

for many people told me what they told no one else.

許多人會告訴我一些 他們不曾告訴任何人的事

Many cried.

許多人潸然淚下

And one day, after a woman I met on the street did the same

某天，我在街上遇到的一名女子 表現出同樣反應後

and I later asked her why,

我問她為何流淚

she told me that, best she could tell, her tears

她告訴我，她認為

had had something to do with my being happy and strong,

她是為了我的樂觀和堅強流淚

but vulnerable too.

還有我的脆弱

I listened to her words. I suppose they were true.

聽了她的話之後，我認為確實如此

I was me,

我依然是我

but I was now me despite a limp,

但已成了現在的我，儘管身有殘疾

and that, I suppose, was what now made me, me.

我想這正是使我成為現在的我的原因

Anyway, Mohamed told me

總之，Mohamed告訴我

what perhaps he would not have told another stranger.

或許他不會告訴其他陌生人的事

He led me to a house of cream stucco, then drove off.

他將帶我到一棟奶油色房子前，然後驅車離開

And as I sat contemplating what to say,

當我坐在車上，思考該說什麼時

a woman approached in a black shawl and black robe.

一位穿著黑色披肩和黑色罩袍的女子走向我

I stepped from my car and said "Shalom,"

我走下車，開口說「Shalom（平安，猶太招呼語）」

and identified myself,

然後自我介紹

and she told me that her husband Abed

她說她丈夫Abed

would be home from work in four hours.

將在4小時後下班回家

Her Hebrew was not good, and she later confessed

她的希伯來語不太好，之後她坦承

that she thought that I had come to install the Internet.

她以為我是來裝網路的

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I drove off and returned at 4:30,

我驅車離開，於四點半返回

thankful to the minaret up the road

感謝路旁的尖塔

that helped me find my way back.

幫助我找到返回的路

And as I approached the front door,

當我走向前門時

Abed saw me, my jeans and flannel and cane,

Abed看見了我，我的牛仔褲、法蘭絨上衣和手杖

and I saw Abed, an average-looking man of average size.

我也看見了Abed 一名相貌普通、中等身材的男子

He wore black and white: slippers over socks,

他穿著黑白色系服裝：拖鞋內穿著襪子

pilling sweatpants, a piebald sweater,

起毛球的運動褲、黑白相間的毛衣

a striped ski cap pulled down to his forehead.

蓋住前額的條紋滑雪帽

He'd been expecting me. Mohamed had phoned.

他知道我要來，Mohamed已打電話通知他

And so at once, we shook hands, and smiled,

因此我們立刻握手、微笑致意

and I gave him my gift,

我把禮物遞給他

and he told me I was a guest in his home,

他說我是他的貴賓

and we sat beside one another on a fabric couch.

我們並肩坐在布質沙發上

It was then that Abed resumed at once

Abed立刻開始繼續講述

the tale of woe he had begun over the phone

他16年前於電話中 未曾說完的悲慘故事

16 years before.

他16年前於電話中 未曾說完的悲慘故事

He'd just had surgery on his eyes, he said.

他說他的眼睛剛動過手術

He had problems with his side and his legs too,

他的身側和大腿也有毛病

and, oh, he'd lost his teeth in the crash.

喔，他在那場車禍中失去了牙齒

Did I wish to see him remove them?

我是否想看他拿下假牙？

Abed then rose and turned on the TV

然後Abed站起身來，打開電視

so that I wouldn't be alone when he left the room,

希望他離開房間時我不會感到孤單

and returned with polaroids of the crash

返回時，他拿著那場車禍的拍立得相片

and his old driver's license.

和他的舊駕照

"I was handsome," he said.

「我以前很帥，」他說

We looked down at his laminated mug.

我們低頭看著那張佈滿摺痕的舊相片

Abed had been less handsome than substantial,

Abed從來就稱不上帥

with thick black hair and a full face and a wide neck.

濃密的黑髮、飽滿的圓臉和粗壯的脖子

It was this youth who on May 16, 1990,

就是這個年輕人，在1990年5月16日

had broken two necks including mine,

弄斷了兩個人的脖子，包括我在內

and bruised one brain and taken one life.

使一個人腦部受傷，奪去一條生命

Twenty-one years later, he was now thinner than his wife,

21年後的今天，他比妻子還瘦

his skin slack on his face,

皮膚鬆垮地垂在臉上

and looking at Abed looking at his young self,

看看眼前的Abed，再看看年輕時的他

I remembered looking at that photograph of my young self

我想起車禍後看見自己年輕時照片的感覺

after the crash, and recognized his longing.

明白了他的渴望

"The crash changed both of our lives," I said.

「那場車禍改變了我們兩人的生命，」我說

Abed then showed me a picture of his mashed truck,

然後Abed讓我看他撞爛的卡車照片

and said that the crash was the fault of a bus driver

說那場車禍是左車道那位公車司機的錯 因為他不肯讓路

in the left lane who did not let him pass.

說那場車禍是左車道那位公車司機的錯 因為他不肯讓路

I did not want to recap the crash with Abed.

我不想和Abed重提那場車禍

I'd hoped for something simpler:

我期待的是某些更簡單的事：

to exchange a Turkish dessert for two words and be on my way.

用土耳其軟糖換兩個字，然後走人

And so I didn't point out that in his own testimony

因此我並未指出車禍後 那天上午他所說的證詞中

the morning after the crash,

因此我並未指出車禍後 那天上午他所說的證詞中

Abed did not even mention the bus driver.

Abed甚至不曾提及那名公車司機

No, I was quiet. I was quiet because I had not come for truth.

是的，我默不作聲 因為我並非為了尋求真相而來

I had come for remorse.

我是為了他的悔意而來

And so I now went looking for remorse

因此我繼續尋找這份悔意

and threw truth under the bus.

讓真相埋葬在那輛公車下

"I understand," I said, "that the crash was not your fault,

「我瞭解，」我說「那場車禍不是你的錯」

but does it make you sad that others suffered?"

「但你是否為其他人的遭遇感到難過？」

Abed spoke three quick words.

Abed很快地說出幾個字

"Yes, I suffered."

「是的，我很難過」

Abed then told me why he'd suffered.

然後Abed告訴我為何他感到難過

He'd lived an unholy life before the crash,

車禍前，他一直過著放蕩的生活

and so God had ordained the crash,

因此上帝降下這場車禍

but now, he said, he was religious, and God was pleased.

但現在，他說他有了信仰，上帝感到喜悅

It was then that God intervened:

就在這時，上帝的身影浮現：

news on the TV of a car wreck that hours before

電視播出一則新聞：一場幾小時前發生的車禍

had killed three people up north.

使三名前往北方的人喪命

We looked up at the wreckage.

我們看著畫面上的汽車殘骸

"Strange," I said.

「真巧，」我說

"Strange," he agreed.

「真巧，」Abed附和

I had the thought that there, on Route 804,

我腦海裡浮現一個想法：在804公路上

there were perpetrators and victims,

有肇事者與受害者

dyads bound by a crash.

因一場車禍產生聯繫

Some, as had Abed, would forget the date.

有些人，如Abed，或許忘了另一方

Some, as had I, would remember.

有些人，如我，依然記得

The report finished and Abed spoke.

新聞播報完畢後，Abed開口

"It is a pity," he said, "that the police

「很遺憾，」他說 「我國警方對差勁的駕駛不夠嚴厲」

in this country are not tough enough on bad drivers."

「很遺憾，」他說 「我國警方對差勁的駕駛不夠嚴厲」

I was baffled.

我困惑不已

Abed had said something remarkable.

Abed說了出人意料的話

Did it point up the degree to which he'd absolved himself of the crash?

難道是為了強調這場車禍錯不在他嗎？

Was it evidence of guilt, an assertion

難道是內疚的表現

that he should have been put away longer?

認為他應該多關幾年？

He'd served six months in prison, lost his truck license for a decade.

他在監獄裡待了六個月 卡車駕照被吊銷十年

I forgot my discretion.

我忘了原本的謹慎

"Um, Abed," I said,

「呃，Abed，」我說

"I thought you had a few driving issues before the crash."

「我想車禍前你已經有一些駕駛上的問題」

"Well," he said, "I once went 60 in a 40."

「喔，」他說「我曾經在速限40的情況下開到60」

And so 27 violations --

因此，27次違規－

driving through a red light, driving at excessive speed,

闖紅燈、超速行駛

driving on the wrong side of a barrier,

開上逆向車道

and finally, riding his brakes down that hill --

最後踩著剎車衝下山

reduced to one.

濃縮成輕描淡寫的一句話

And it was then I understood that no matter how stark the reality,

此時，我領悟到，無論事實多麼明顯

the human being fits it into a narrative that is palatable.

人們總會將它美化成合理的故事

The goat becomes the hero. The perpetrator becomes the victim.

壞人成了英雄，犯罪者成了受害者

It was then I understood that Abed would never apologize.

此時，我領悟到，Abed永遠不會道歉

Abed and I sat with our coffee.

Abed和我坐著喝咖啡

We'd spent 90 minutes together,

我們一起度過90分鐘

and he was now known to me.

現在我已瞭解他的為人

He was not a particularly bad man

他並非壞透頂的惡棍

or a particularly good man.

亦非急公好義的大善人

He was a limited man

他只是一個見識淺薄的人

who'd found it within himself to be kind to me.

認為應該對我釋出善意

With a nod to Jewish custom,

他以猶太禮節向我點頭致意

he told me that I should live to be 120 years old.

祝我活到120歲

But it was hard for me to relate to one who had

但對我來說，很難與某個

so completely washed his hands of his own calamitous doing,

如此徹底與自己造成的悲劇 撇清關係的人套交情

to one whose life was so unexamined that he said

這個渾渾噩噩過生活的人，他說

he thought two people had died in the crash.

他以為有兩個人死於這場車禍

There was much I wished to say to Abed.

我有很多話想對Abed說

I wished to tell him that, were he to acknowledge my disability,

我想問他是否能體會我的殘疾

it would be okay,

那沒什麼

for people are wrong to marvel

人們總是對像我這樣 面帶笑容的殘障人士做出錯誤解讀

at those like me who smile as we limp.

人們總是對像我這樣 面帶笑容的殘障人士做出錯誤解讀

People don't know that they have lived through worse,

人們不知道 他們曾經歷過更悲慘的遭遇

that problems of the heart hit with a force greater than a runaway truck,

內心的衝擊比一輛失控的卡車嚴重得多

that problems of the mind are greater still,

心理問題甚至更加嚴重

more injurious, than a hundred broken necks.

更加傷人，勝於一百個斷了的脖子

I wished to tell him that what makes most of us who we are

我想告訴他 塑造我們大多數人的主要因素

most of all

我想告訴他 塑造我們大多數人的主要因素

is not our minds and not our bodies

並非我們的思想、我們的身體

and not what happens to us,

亦非我們的遭遇

but how we respond to what happens to us.

而是如何面對我們的遭遇

"This," wrote the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl,

精神病專家Viktor Frankl曾說

"is the last of the human freedoms:

「這是人類最後的自主權：」

to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

「在任何特定情況下選擇自己的態度」

I wished to tell him that not only paralyzers

我想告訴他，不僅是癱瘓者

and paralyzees must evolve, reconcile to reality,

和致人癱瘓者必須向前邁進，接受事實

but we all must --

每個人都必須如此－

the aging and the anxious and the divorced and the balding

年老者、憂慮者、離婚者、禿頭者

and the bankrupt and everyone.

破產者，乃至每個人

I wished to tell him that one does not have to say

我想告訴他，我們不該說

that a bad thing is good,

壞事是好事

that a crash is from God and so a crash is good,

車禍是上帝賜予的，因此車禍是好事

a broken neck is good.

脖子斷了是好事

One can say that a bad thing sucks,

你可以說壞事令人痛恨

but that this natural world still has many glories.

但世上還有很多美好的事

I wished to tell him that, in the end, our mandate is clear:

最後，我想告訴他 我們的使命十分明確：

We have to rise above bad fortune.

我們必須從厄運中站起

We have to be in the good and enjoy the good,

我們必須處於好的狀態，並樂在其中

study and work and adventure and friendship -- oh, friendship --

學習和工作、冒險和友誼－喔，友誼－

and community and love.

夥伴，和愛

But most of all, I wished to tell him

但最重要的是，我想告訴他

what Herman Melville wrote,

Herman Melville（美國作家）所說的

that "truly to enjoy bodily warmth,

「欲真正體會身體的溫暖」

some small part of you must be cold,

「你的某部分必須是寒冷的」

for there is no quality in this world

「因為世上沒有所謂的標準」

that is not what it is merely by contrast."

「一切都只是相對問題」

Yes, contrast.

是的，相對

If you are mindful of what you do not have,

如果你意識到不曾擁有的事物

you may be truly mindful of what you do have,

或許能真正體會已擁有的事物

and if the gods are kind, you may truly enjoy what you have.

如果上帝是仁慈的 你或許能真正享受所擁有的一切

That is the one singular gift you may receive

這是一份你能獲得的禮物

if you suffer in any existential way.

當你遭受任何形式的苦難時

You know death, and so may wake each morning

意識到死亡的存在，才能在每天早上醒來時

pulsing with ready life.

感受到生命的脈動

Some part of you is cold,

你的某部分感到寒冷

and so another part may truly enjoy what it is to be warm,

其他部分才能真正體會何謂溫暖

or even to be cold.

或何謂寒冷

When one morning, years after the crash,

車禍發生數年後的某個早晨

I stepped onto stone and the underside of my left foot

我踏上一塊石頭，我的左腳底

felt the flash of cold, nerves at last awake,

感到一股寒意，我的神經終於恢復知覺

it was exhilarating, a gust of snow.

這令人精神一振，彷彿突如其來的一場風雪

But I didn't say these things to Abed.

但我沒有告訴Abed這些

I told him only that he had killed one man, not two.

我只告訴他，他害死了一個人，不是兩個

I told him the name of that man.

我告訴他那個人的名字

And then I said, "Goodbye."

然後說，「再見」

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thanks a lot.

十分感謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）