What we don't teach kids about sex | Sue Jaye Johnson

333,317 views ใƒป 2018-01-25

TED


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚

็ฟป่จณ: Takamasa Omata / ๅฐไฟฃ่ฒด้›… ๆ กๆญฃ: Mari Arimitsu
00:12
I remember my aunt brushing my hair when I was a child.
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใฎ้ ƒ ใŠใฐใซ้ซชใ‚’ ใจใ‹ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใฎใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™
00:16
I felt this tingling in my stomach,
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ใŠ่…นใงๅบƒใŒใ‚‹ ใใฎใใ™ใใฃใŸใ„ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใ‚’
00:18
this swelling in my belly.
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ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใพใ—ใŸ
00:21
All her attention on me,
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ็งใ ใ‘ใซ
00:23
just me.
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้›†ไธญใ—ใฆใ„ใฆ
00:25
My beautiful Aunt Bea,
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็พŽไบบใฎใƒ“ใƒผใŠใฐใ•ใ‚“ใฏ
00:27
stroking my hair with a fine-bristled brush.
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ไธŠ็ญ‰ใช็กฌใ„ใƒ–ใƒฉใ‚ทใง ็งใฎ้ซชใ‚’ใจใ‹ใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
00:31
Do you have a memory like that that you can feel in your body right now?
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็š†ใ•ใ‚“ใ‚‚ ใใ‚“ใชๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‚ˆใญ ใพใ•ใซไปŠใ‚‚ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใช
00:35
Before language,
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่จ€่‘‰ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚
00:37
we're all sensation.
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ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใŒๅ…ˆใซใใพใ™
00:39
As children, that's how we learn
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใฏ ๆ„Ÿ่งฆใ‚’้€šใ—ใฆ
00:40
to differentiate ourselves in the world -- through touch.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใจไป–่€…ใ‚’ๅŒบๅˆฅใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚“ใงใ™
00:43
Everything goes in the mouth, the hands, on the skin.
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ๅฃใ‹ใ‚‰ ๆ‰‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ ่‚Œใ‹ใ‚‰
00:47
Sensation --
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่‰ฒใ‚“ใชใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใพใ™
00:48
it is the way that we first experience love.
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ๅˆๆ‹ใ ใฃใฆ ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใชใ‚“ใงใ™
00:52
It's the basis of human connection.
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ไป–่€…ใจใฎ็น‹ใŒใ‚Šใฏ ใ“ใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰็”Ÿใพใ‚Œใพใ™
00:56
We want our children to grow up to have healthy intimate relationships.
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็งใŸใกใฏๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใซ ๅฅๅ…จใชไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’่‚ฒใ‚€ใ‚ˆใ†้ก˜ใ„ใพใ™
01:00
So as parents,
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰่ฆชใจใ—ใฆ
01:01
one of the things that we do is we teach our children about sex.
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ใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚‚ๆ•™ใˆใพใ™
01:04
We have books to help us,
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ๅ‚่€ƒใซใงใใ‚‹ๆœฌใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
01:06
we have sex ed at school for the basics.
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ๅŸบๆœฌ็š„ใชใ“ใจใฏ ๅญฆๆ กใงใ‚‚ๆ•™ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
01:08
There's porn to fill in the gaps --
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่ฃœ่ถณใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใƒใƒซใƒŽใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
01:11
and it will fill in the gaps.
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใƒใƒซใƒŽใŒๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ‚Œใพใ™ใ‚ˆใญ
01:13
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
01:14
We teach our children "the talk" about biology and mechanics,
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ใงใ‚‚็งใŸใกใฏ ๅฆŠๅจ ใ‚„ ๅฎ‰ๅ…จใชใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใซใคใ„ใฆ
01:18
about pregnancy and safe sex,
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็”Ÿ็‰ฉๅญฆใ‚„ไป•็ต„ใฟใฐใ‹ใ‚Šๆ•™ใˆ
01:20
and that's what our kids grow up thinking that sex is pretty much all about.
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใฏใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใจใฏ ใใ†ใ„ใ†ใ‚‚ใฎใ ใจๆ€ใฃใฆ่‚ฒใกใพใ™
01:24
But we can do better than that.
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ใงใ‚‚ ้•ใ„ใพใ™ใ‚ˆใญ
01:26
We can teach our sons and daughters about pleasure and desire,
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็”ทใฎๅญใ‚„ๅฅณใฎๅญใŸใกใซ ๅ–œใณใ‚„ ๆฌฒๆฑ‚
01:31
about consent and boundaries,
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ๅŒๆ„ใซใ‚‚ใจใฅใ ใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใ‚„่จฑๅฎน็ฏ„ๅ›ฒ
01:33
about what it feels like to be present in their body
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่บซไฝ“ใฎไธญใงใใฎ็žฌ้–“ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใจใฏ ใฉใ‚“ใชใ“ใจใชใฎใ‹
01:37
and to know when they're not.
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ใใ†ใงใชใ„ๆ™‚ใจไฝ•ใŒ้•ใ†ใฎใ‹ ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใฏใšใงใ™
01:39
And we do that in the ways that we model touch, play,
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็งใŸใกใฏ ใ“ใ†ใ„ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ ่งฆใฃใŸใ‚Š ใ˜ใ‚ƒใ‚ŒๅˆใฃใŸใ‚Š
01:43
make eye contact --
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่ฆ‹ใคใ‚ๅˆใฃใŸใ‚Š
01:45
all the ways that we engage their senses.
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ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใ‚’้€šใ—ใฆๅญฆใ‚“ใงใ„ใใพใ™
01:48
We can teach our children not just about sex,
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใซใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใ ใ‘ใงใฏใชใ
01:50
but about sensuality.
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ไฝ“ใŒๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ๅฟซใ„ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚‚ ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใฏใšใงใ™
01:54
This is the kind of talk that I needed as a girl.
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ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช่ฉฑใฏ ็งใŒๅฅณใฎๅญใจใ—ใฆ ๅฟ…่ฆใ ใฃใŸใŸใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™
01:56
I was extremely sensitive,
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็งใฏ ๆฅตๅบฆใซๆ•ๆ„Ÿใชๅญใฉใ‚‚ใงใ—ใŸ
01:58
but by the time I was an adolescent,
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ใงใ‚‚ๆ€ๆ˜ฅๆœŸใซใชใ‚‹้ ƒใซใฏ
02:00
I had numbed out.
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็„ก็†็Ÿข็† ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
02:02
The shame of boys mocking my changing body
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่บซไฝ“ใฎๅค‰ๅŒ–ใ‚’ใ‚ใ–็ฌ‘ใ†็”ทๅญ
02:04
and then girls exiling me for,
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็งใ‚’ๆŽ’้™คใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ™ใ‚‹ๅฅณๅญ
02:06
ironically, my interest in boys,
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็šฎ่‚‰ใซใ‚‚ ็งใฎ็”ทๅญใธใฎ่ˆˆๅ‘ณใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
02:09
it was so much.
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่‰ฒใ€…ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
02:13
I didn't have any language for what I was experiencing;
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ใ“ใฎ็ตŒ้จ“ใฏ่จ€่‘‰ใงใฏ่จ€ใ„่กจใ›ใพใ›ใ‚“
02:15
I didn't know it was going to pass.
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ๆถˆใˆๅŽปใ‚‹ใ‹ใฉใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
02:17
So I did the best thing I could at the time
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจๅ…จใฆใ‚’ๅฐฝใใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
02:20
and I checked out.
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ใงใ‚‚ใƒ€ใƒกใงใ—ใŸ
02:22
And you can't isolate just the difficult feelings,
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ๅซŒใชๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ ใ‘ใ‚’ๆถˆใ™ใ“ใจใชใ‚“ใฆ ใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ‚ˆใญ
02:24
so I lost access to the joy, the pleasure, the play,
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰็งใฏใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใฎๅ–œใณ ๅฟซๆ„Ÿ ้Šใณๅฟƒใ‚’ๅคฑใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
02:27
and I spent decades like that,
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๅคงไบบใซใชใ‚‹้“ใชใ‚“ใ  ใจใ„ใ†
02:28
with this his low-grade depression,
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ใใ ใ‚‰ใชใ„ๆ†‚้ฌฑใซ
02:30
thinking that this is what it meant to be a grown-up.
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10ๅนด้–“ใ‚‚่ฒปใ‚„ใ—ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
02:35
For the past year,
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ใ“ใฎ๏ผ‘ๅนด้–“ ็งใฏ
02:36
I've been interviewing men and women about their relationship to sex
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็”ทๆ€งใจๅฅณๆ€งใซใ‚ปใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใซใคใ„ใฆ ใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฟใƒ“ใƒฅใƒผใ—ใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
็งใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช่ฉฑใ‚’ไฝ•ๅบฆใ‚‚่žใใพใ—ใŸ
02:39
and I've heard my story again and again.
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ใ€Œ้Žๆ•ใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸๅฅณใฎๅญใŸใก
02:41
Girls who were told they were too sensitive, too much.
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02:44
Boys who were taught to man up --
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็”ทใ‚‰ใ—ใใ‚ใ‚Œใจๆ•™ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚ŒใŸ็”ทใฎๅญใŸใก
02:46
"don't be so emotional."
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ใ€Œๆ„Ÿๆƒ…็š„ใซใชใ‚‹ใชใ€ใจ
02:48
I learned I was not alone in checking out.
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่‹ฆใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏ ็งใ ใ‘ใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„ใจ็ŸฅใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
02:54
It was my daughter who reminded me of how much I used to feel.
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ๆ˜”ใฎๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ•ใ›ใฆใใ‚ŒใŸใฎใฏๅจ˜ใงใ—ใŸ
03:00
We were at the beach.
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็งใŸใกใฏๆตท่พบใซใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
03:01
It was this rare day.
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ใงใ‚‚ๆ™ฎๆฎตใจใฏ้•ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
03:03
I turned off my cell phone,
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ๆบๅธฏใฎ้›ปๆบใ‚’ๅˆ‡ใ‚Š
03:05
put in the calendar, "Day at the beach with the girls."
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ใ‚ซใƒฌใƒณใƒ€ใƒผใซใ€Œๅจ˜ใŸใกใจ้Šใถๆ—ฅใ€ ใจๆ›ธใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
03:08
I laid our towels down just out of reach of the surf
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ใ‚ฟใ‚ชใƒซใ‚’ๆ•ทใ„ใฆ ๆ‰“ใกๅฏ„ใ›ใ‚‹ๆณขใฎใ™ใใใฐใง
03:12
and fell asleep.
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็œ ใฃใฆใ—ใพใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
03:14
And when I woke up,
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็งใŒ็›ฎใ‚’่ฆšใพใ™ใจ
03:15
I saw my daughter drizzling sand on her arm like this,
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ๅจ˜ใŒ่…•ใซ็ ‚ใ‚’ๆŒฏใ‚Šใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™ ใ“ใ‚“ใชๆ„Ÿใ˜ใซ
03:21
and I could feel that light tickle of sand on her skin
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็งใซใฏๅจ˜ใฎใใ™ใใฃใŸใ„ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
03:27
and I remembered my aunt brushing my hair.
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ใŠใฐใฎใƒ–ใƒฉใƒƒใ‚ทใƒณใ‚ฐใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ—ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
03:31
So I curled up next to her
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰็งใฏใใฐใซ่ฟ‘ๅฏ„ใฃใฆ
03:32
and I drizzled sand on her other arm and then her legs.
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ใ‚‚ใ†็‰‡ๆ–นใฎ่…•ใ‚„่„šใซใ‚‚ ็ ‚ใ‚’ๆŒฏใ‚Šใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ‚ใ’ใพใ—ใŸ
03:37
And then I said, "Hey, you want me to bury you?"
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ใใ—ใฆ็งใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ ใ€Œใญใˆ ็งใซๅŸ‹ใ‚ใฆใปใ—ใ„๏ผŸใ€
03:41
And her eyes got really big and she was like, "Yeah!"
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ๅจ˜ใฏ็›ฎใ‚’่ฆ‹้–‹ใ„ใฆ ใ€Œใ†ใ‚“๏ผใ€ใฃใฆ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
03:43
So we dug a hole
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ใใ“ใง็งใŸใกใฏ็ฉดใ‚’ๆŽ˜ใ‚Š
03:45
and I covered her in sand and shells
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ๅจ˜ใ‚’็ ‚ใจ่ฒๆฎปใง่ฆ†ใ„
03:46
and drew this little mermaid tail.
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ไบบ้ญšใฎใƒ’ใƒฌใ‚‚ๆใใพใ—ใŸ
03:49
And then I took her home and lathered her up in the shower
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ๅฎถใซๅธฐใ‚‹ใจ ๅจ˜ใฎ้ ญใ‚’ ๆณก็ซ‹ใฃใŸใ‚ทใƒฃใƒณใƒ—ใƒผใง
03:52
and massaged her scalp
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ใƒžใƒƒใ‚ตใƒผใ‚ธใ—ใฆใ‚ใ’
03:53
and I dried her off in a towel.
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ใ‚ฟใ‚ชใƒซใงไนพใ‹ใ—ใฆใ‚ใ’ใพใ—ใŸ
03:55
And I thought,
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ใ™ใ‚‹ใจ ใ“ใ†ๆ€ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
03:57
"Ah. How many times had I done that --
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ใ€Œไฝ•ๅ›žใ‚‚ ๅจ˜ใจใŠ้ขจๅ‘‚ใซๅ…ฅใฃใฆใฏ
03:59
bathed her and dried her off --
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้ซชใ‚’ไนพใ‹ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใซ
04:01
but had I ever stopped and paid attention
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ๅจ˜ใŒๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ—ใŸไบ‹ใŒ
04:03
to the sensations that I was creating for her?"
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ไธ€ๅบฆใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใฃใŸใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
04:07
I'd been treating her like she was on some assembly line
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็งใฏๅจ˜ใซๅฏพใ—ใฆ ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’็ต„ใฟ็ซ‹ใฆใ‚‹ๅทฅๅ ดใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
04:10
of children needing to be fed and put to bed.
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้ฃŸไบ‹ใ‚’ไธŽใˆ ๅฏใ‹ใ—ใคใ‘ใฆใ„ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
04:13
And I realized
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ใใ“ใง็งใฏๆฐ—ไป˜ใใพใ—ใŸ
04:14
that when I dry my daughter off in a towel tenderly the way a lover would,
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ๆ„›ๆƒ…ใ‚’่พผใ‚ใฆ ๅ„ชใ—ใ ใ‚ฟใ‚ชใƒซใง้ซชใ‚’ไนพใ‹ใ™ใจใใซ
04:19
I'm teaching her to expect that kind of touch.
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็งใฏ ๅจ˜ใซ่งฆใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฎ ๅ–œใณใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹
04:24
I'm teaching her in that moment about intimacy.
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ๆ„›ๆƒ…่กŒ็‚บใซใคใ„ใฆ ๆ•™ใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚“ใ  ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจ
04:27
About how to love her body and respect her body.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่บซไฝ“ใ‚’ๆ„›ใ— ๅคงไบ‹ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚“ใ ใจ
04:31
I realized there are parts of the talk that can't be conveyed in words.
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ่จ€่‘‰ใงใฏไผใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ ้ƒจๅˆ†ใชใ‚“ใ ใจๆฐ—ไป˜ใใพใ—ใŸ
04:37
In her book, "Girls and Sex,"
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ใ€ŽGirls & Sexใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆœฌใง
04:38
writer Peggy Orenstein finds
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่‘—่€…ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใƒšใ‚ฎใƒผใƒปใ‚ชใƒฌใƒณใ‚นใ‚ฟใ‚คใƒณใฏ
04:41
that young women are focusing on their partner's pleasure,
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่‹ฅใ„ๅฅณๆ€งใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ ใƒ‘ใƒผใƒˆใƒŠใƒผใŒๆ€ง็š„ใซๅ–œใถใ“ใจใซ
04:44
not their own.
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ๅŠชใ‚ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™
04:47
This is something I'm going to talk about with my girls when they're older,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ๅจ˜ใŒๅคงใใใชใฃใŸใ‚‰ ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใงใ™
04:50
but for now, I look for ways to help them identify what gives them pleasure
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ใงใ‚‚ไปŠใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅ–œใณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฎŸ่ทตใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฎ
04:54
and to practice articulating that.
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ๆ‰‹ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆŽขใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™
04:58
"Rub my back," my daughter says when I tuck her in.
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ๅฏใ‹ใ—ใคใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใใซ ๅจ˜ใŒใ€Œ่ƒŒไธญใ‚’ใ“ใ™ใฃใฆใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚‰
05:01
And I say, "OK, how do you want me to rub your back?"
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ใ€Œใ„ใ„ใ‚ใ‚ˆ ใฉใ†ใ‚„ใฃใฆใ“ใ™ใฃใฆใปใ—ใ„๏ผŸใ€ ใจ็ญ”ใˆใพใ™
05:05
"I don't know," she says.
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ๅจ˜ใŒใ€Œใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‚ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจ
05:07
So I pause, waiting for her directions.
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ๆญขใพใฃใฆ ๆŒ‡็คบใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใพใงๅพ…ใกใพใ™
05:10
Finally she says, "OK, up and to the right,
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ใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€Œใ˜ใ‚ƒใ‚ ไธŠใฎๆ–นใฎๅณๅดใง
05:12
like you're tickling me."
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ใใ™ใใ‚‹ใฟใŸใ„ใซใ‚„ใฃใฆใ€ ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™
05:14
I run my fingertips up her spine.
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ใใฎใจใŠใ‚Šใซ ๆŒ‡ใงใใ™ใใ‚Šใพใ™
05:16
"What else?" I ask.
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ใ€Œไป–ใซใฏ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จŠใญใ‚‹ใจ
05:18
"Over to the left, a little harder now."
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ใ€Œๅทฆๅดใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆ ไปŠๅบฆใฏใกใ‚‡ใฃใจๅผทใใ€
05:21
We need to teach our children how to articulate their sensations
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็งใŸใกใฏๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใซ ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใซๆ…ฃใ‚Œใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ใŸใ‚ใซ
05:25
so they're familiar with them.
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่จ€่‘‰ใซๅ‡บใ™ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
05:27
I look for ways to play games with my girls at home to do this.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฎถใง้ŠใณใชใŒใ‚‰ ใงใใชใ„ใ‹ใจๆจก็ดขไธญใงใ™
05:30
I scratch my fingernails on my daughter's arm and say,
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ๅจ˜ใŸใกใฎ่…•ใ‚’ใใ™ใใ‚ŠใชใŒใ‚‰ ใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†ใ‚“ใงใ™
05:33
"Give me one word to describe this."
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ใ€ŒไปŠๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ่จ€่‘‰ใซๅ‡บใ—ใฆใฟใฆ๏ผใ€
05:35
"Violent," she says.
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ใ€ŒๆšดๅŠ›ใ ใ‚ใ€ใฃใฆ่จ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸ
05:38
I embrace her, hold her tight.
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็งใŒๅผทใๆŠฑใ็ท ใ‚ใ‚‹ใจ
05:40
"Protected," she tells me.
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ใ€Œๅฎˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ‚‹ใ€ใฃใฆ่จ€ใ†ใ‚“ใงใ™
05:43
I find opportunities to tell them how I'm feeling,
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็ง่‡ช่บซใ‚‚่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใ†ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ ไฝ•ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚’
05:46
what I'm experiencing,
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ๅฃใซใ™ใ‚‹ๅŠชๅŠ›ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
05:47
so we have common language.
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ๅ…ฑ้€š่จ€่ชžใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰
05:48
Like right now,
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ไพ‹ใˆใฐไปŠใชใ‚‰
05:50
this tingling in my scalp down my spine means I'm nervous and I'm excited.
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็ทŠๅผตใ—ใฆใ„ใฆ ใƒฏใ‚ฏใƒฏใ‚ฏใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ ้ ญใ‹ใ‚‰่ƒŒไธญใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใƒใ‚ฏใƒใ‚ฏใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
05:55
You are likely experiencing sensations in response to me.
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใ็š†ใ•ใ‚“ใฏ ็งใธใฎ่ฟ”ไบ‹ใจใ—ใฆ ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใ‚’ไฝ“้จ“ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
05:59
The language I'm using,
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็งใŒไฝฟใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹่จ€่‘‰
06:01
the ideas I'm sharing.
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็งใŒๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใซๅฏพใ—ใฆใงใ™
06:03
And our tendency is to judge these reactions
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็งใŸใกใฏใ“ใ†ใ„ใฃใŸๅๅฟœใ‚’่ฉ•ไพกใ—
06:06
and sort them into a hierarchy:
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้ †ไฝไป˜ใ‘ใ‚’ใ—ใŒใกใงใ™
06:08
better or worse,
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ๅ–„ใ—ๆ‚ชใ—ใงๅˆคๆ–ญใ—
06:09
and then seek or avoid them.
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ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆฑ‚ใ‚ใŸใ‚Š ๆŽ’้™คใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใพใ™
06:12
And that's because we live in this binary culture
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ ็งใŸใกใฏไบŒๆŠžใฎๆ–‡ๅŒ–ใฎไธญใงๆšฎใ‚‰ใ—
06:14
and we're taught from a very young age to sort the world into good and bad.
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ๅฐใ•ใ„้ ƒใ‹ใ‚‰ ไธ–ใฎไธญใ‚’ๅ–„ใ—ๆ‚ชใ—ใงๅˆ†ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ† ๆ•™ใ‚ใฃใฆใใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
06:19
"Did you like that book?"
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ใ€Œใ‚ใฎๆœฌ่‰ฏใ‹ใฃใŸใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
06:21
"Did you have a good day?"
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ใ€Œ่‰ฏใ„ไธ€ๆ—ฅใ‚’้Žใ”ใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ‹๏ผŸใ€
06:23
How about, "What did you notice about that story?"
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ใใ‚Œใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ใ€Œใ“ใฎๆœฌใซใคใ„ใฆ ไฝ•ใŒๅฐ่ฑก็š„ใ ใฃใŸ๏ผŸใ€
06:26
"Tell me a moment about your day.
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ใ€ŒไปŠๆ—ฅใฏไฝ•ใ‹้ข็™ฝใ„ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใฃใŸ๏ผŸใ€
06:28
What did you learn?"
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ใ€Œไฝ•ใ‚’็ฟ’ใฃใŸใฎ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่žใ„ใฆใฟใฆใฏ๏ผŸ
06:30
Let's teach our children to stay open and curious about their experiences,
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใŒ ๅธธใซๅฟƒใ‚’้–‹ใ ๅฅฝๅฅ‡ๅฟƒใ‚’ๆŒใฆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ•™ใˆใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
06:34
like a traveler in a foreign land.
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ๅค–ๅ›ฝใซๆฅใŸๆ—…่กŒ่€…ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
06:38
And that way they can stay with sensation without checking out --
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ใใ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใง ็งใ‚„็งใŸใกใฎๅคšใใŒ็ตŒ้จ“ใ—ใŸ
06:42
even the heightened and challenging ones --
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่‹ฆใ—ใ„ๅ›ฐ้›ฃใŒ้™ใ‚Šใ‹ใ‹ใฃใฆใ‚‚
06:44
the way I did,
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ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใจใจใ‚‚ใซ
06:45
the way so many of us have.
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็”Ÿใใฆใ„ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚‹ใฏใšใงใ™
06:47
This sense education,
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ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹ๆ•™่‚ฒใ“ใ
06:49
this is education I want for my daughters.
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ๅจ˜ใŸใกใซๆ•™ใˆใŸใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™
06:51
Sense education is what I needed as girl.
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ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใฎๆ•™่‚ฒใฏ ็งใŒ ๅฅณๅญใจใ—ใฆๅฟ…่ฆใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ—ใŸ
06:55
It's what I hope for all of our children.
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ๅ…จใฆใฎๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใซใ‚‚ๆ•™ใˆใŸใ„ใงใ™
06:58
This awareness of sensation,
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ใ“ใฎๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹ๆ„่ญ˜ใฏ
07:00
it's where we began as children.
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่ชฐใ—ใ‚‚ๅญใฉใ‚‚ๆ™‚ไปฃใซๆŒใกๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™
07:02
It's what we can learn from our children
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ใใ‚Œใฏ ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใ‹ใ‚‰ๅญฆใถใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใ‚Š
07:05
and it's what we can in turn remind our children
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ๅญใฉใ‚‚ใŸใกใŒๅคงไบบใซใชใฃใŸใจใ
07:08
as they come of age.
152
428680
1320
็งใŸใกใŒๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ•ใ›ใฆใ‚ใ’ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
07:12
Thank you.
153
432160
1216
ใ”ๆธ…่ดใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
07:13
(Applause)
154
433400
3120
๏ผˆๆ‹ๆ‰‹๏ผ‰
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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