Kees Moeliker: How a dead duck changed my life

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Prevoditelj: Martina Dolenčić Recezent: ira pelivanski

This is the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam,

Ovo je muzej prirodoslovni muzej u Rotterdamu,

where I work as a curator.

gdje radim kao kustos.

It's my job to make sure the collection stays okay,

Moj je posao osigurati da zbirka ostane u redu,

and that it grows,

i da raste.

and basically it means I collect dead animals.

U osnovi to znači da skupljam mrtve životinje.

Back in 1995,

Vratimo se u 1995.,

we got a new wing next to the museum.

dobili smo novo krilo pored muzeja.

It was made of glass,

Bilo je napravljeno od stakla,

and this building really helped me to do my job good.

i ova mi je zgrada stvarno pomagala da dobro radim svoj posao.

The building was a true bird-killer.

Zgrada je bila prava ubojica ptica.

You may know that birds don't understand

Vjerojatno znate da ptice ne razumiju

the concept of glass. They don't see it,

koncept stakla. Ne vide ga,

so they fly into the windows and get killed.

pa se zalete u prozore i nastradaju.

The only thing I had to do was go out,

Jedina stvar bih morao učiniti je izaći van

pick them up, and have them stuffed for the collection.

pokupiti ih i preparirati za kolekciju.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And in those days,

I tih dana,

I developed an ear to identify birds

razvio sam uho za identificiranje ptica

just by the sound of the bangs they made against the glass.

samo prema zvuku udarca u staklo.

And it was on June 5, 1995,

Bio je 5. lipanj 1995,

that I heard a loud bang against the glass

kada sam čuo glasan udarac u staklo

that changed my life and ended that of a duck.

koji je promijenio moj život i završio patkin.

And this is what I saw when I looked out of the window.

I ovo sam vidio kada sam pogledao kroz prozor.

This is the dead duck. It flew against the window.

Ovo je mrtva patka, koja se zaletjela u prozor.

It's laying dead on its belly.

Leži mrtva na trbuhu.

But next to the dead duck is a live duck,

Ali pored mrtve patke je živa patka,

and please pay attention.

i molim vas obratite pažnju.

Both are of the male sex.

Obje su mužjaci.

And then this happened.

I onda se ovo dogodilo.

The live duck mounted the dead duck,

Živa patka se popela na mrtvu patku,

and started to copulate.

i počela je sa snošajem.

Well, I'm a biologist. I'm an ornithologist.

Naime, ja sam biolog i ornitolog.

I said, "Something's wrong here."

Rekao sam, "Nešto ovdje nije u redu".

One is dead, one is alive. That must be necrophilia.

''Jedna je mrtva, druga je živa. Ovo mora biti nekrofilija.''

I look. Both are of the male sex.

''I gle, obje su mužjaci.''

Homosexual necrophilia.

Homoseksualna nekrofilija.

So I -- (Laughter)

Pa sam... (smijeh)

I took my camera, I took my notebook,

uzeo svoju kameru, uzeo bilježnicu,

took a chair, and started to observe this behavior.

uzeo stolicu i počeo promatrati ovo ponašanje.

After 75 minutes — (Laughter) —

Nakon 75 minuta (smijeh)

I had seen enough, and I got hungry,

vidio sam dovoljno i postao sam gladan,

and I wanted to go home.

i želio sam ići kući.

So I went out, collected the duck,

Stoga sam izašao, pokupio patku,

and before I put it in the freezer,

i prije nego sam je stavio u zamrzivač,

I checked if the victim was indeed of the male sex.

provjerio sam je li je žrtva doista mužjak.

And here's a rare picture of a duck's penis,

Ovo je rijetka slika pačjeg penisa,

so it was indeed of the male sex.

i uistinu je bio mužjak.

It's a rare picture because there are 10,000 species of birds

To je rijetka slika jer postoji 10 000 vrsta ptica,

and only 300 possess a penis.

a samo 300 posjeduje penis.

[The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves:Anatidae)]

(Prvi slučaj homoseksualne nekrofilije divljih pataka Anas platyrhynchos (Aves Anatidae)

I knew I'd seen something special,

Znao sam da sam vidio nešto posebno,

but it took me six years to decide to publish it.

ali trebalo mi je šest godina da odlučim to objaviti.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I mean, it's a nice topic for a birthday party

Mislim, to je lijepa tema za rođendansku zabavu

or at the coffee machine,

ili pored aparata za kavu,

but to share this among your peers is something different.

ali podijelti ovo među svojim vršnjacima je nešto drukčije.

I didn't have the framework.

Nisam imao osnovu.

So after six years, my friends and colleagues urged me to publish,

Nakon šest godina, moji prijatelji i kolege su me nagovorili da to objavim,

so I published "The first case of homosexual necrophilia

pa sam objavio "Prvi slučaj homoseksualne nekrofilije

in the mallard."

divljih pataka."

And here's the situation again.

I ovako izgleda situacija.

A is my office,

A je moj ured,

B is the place where the duck hit the glass,

B je mjesto gdje je patka udarila u staklo,

and C is from where I watched it.

i C je odakle sam ih promatrao.

And here are the ducks again.

I ovo su ponovno patke.

As you probably know, in science,

Kao što vjerojatno znate, u znanosti,

when you write a kind of special paper,

kada pišete neku vrstu posebnog rada,

only six or seven people read it.

samo šest ili sedam ljudi ga pročita.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But then something good happened.

Ali tada se nešto dobro dogodilo.

I got a phone call from a person called Marc Abrahams,

Primio sam telefonski poziv od osobe koja se zove Marc Abrahams,

and he told me, "You've won a prize with your duck paper:

i rekao mi je, "Dobio si nagradu sa svojom radom o patki:

the Ig Nobel Prize."

Ig Nobelovu nagradu".

And the Ig Nobel Prize —

A Ig Nobelova nagrada--

(Laughter) (Applause) —

(smijeh) (pljesak)

the Ig Nobel Prize honors research

Ig Nobelova nagrada nagrađuje istraživanja

that first makes people laugh, and then makes them think,

koja prvo ljude nasmiju, a zatim potaknu na razmišljanje,

with the ultimate goal to make more people

sa krajnjim ciljem da se što više ljudi

interested in science.

zainteresira za znanost.

That's a good thing, so I accepted the prize.

To je dobra stvar pa sam prihvatio nagradu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I went -- let me remind you that Marc Abrahams

Otišao sam- samo da vas podsjetim da me Marc Abrahams

didn't call me from Stockholm.

nije zvao iz Stocholma.

He called me from Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Nazvao me iz Cambridgea u Massachusettsu.

So I traveled to Boston, to Cambridge,

Pa sam otputovao u Boston, u Cambridge,

and I went to this wonderful Ig Nobel Prize ceremony

i otišao sam na tu predivnu dodjelu Ig Nobelove nagrade

held at Harvard University, and this ceremony

koja se održavala na Harvardu , a ta je dodjela

is a very nice experience.

zaista jako lijepo iskustvo.

Real Nobel laureates hand you the prize.

Pravi dobitnici Nobela dodjeljuju nagradu.

That's the first thing.

To je prva stvar.

And there are nine other winners who get prizes.

I još devet drugih dobitnika prima nagradu.

Here's one of my fellow winners. That's Charles Paxton

Ovo je jedan od mojih kolega dobitnika, Charles Paxton

who won the 2000 biology prize for his paper,

koji je 2000. godine osvojio nagradu iz biologije za svoj rad

"Courtship behavior of ostriches towards humans

"Ponašanje udvaranja nojeva prema ljudima

under farming conditions in Britain."

u ratarskim uvjetima u Velikoj Britaniji."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And I think there are one or two more

I mislim da su jedan ili još dva

Ig Nobel Prize winners in this room.

dobitnika Ig Nobelove nagrade u ovoj prostoriji.

Dan, where are you? Dan Ariely?

Dan, gdje si? Dan Ariely?

Applause for Dan.

Pljesak za Dana.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Dan won his prize in medicine

Dan je osvojio nagradu u medicini

for demonstrating that high-priced fake medicine

za dokazivanje da skuplji lažni ljekovi

works better than low-priced fake medicine.

djeluju bolje od jeftinijih lažnih ljekova.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So here's my one minute of fame,

Dakle,ovo je minuta moje slave,

my acceptance speech,

moj govor,

and here's the duck.

a ovo je patka.

This is its first time on the U.S. West Coast.

Ovo je njen prvi posjet zapadnoj obali Sjedinjenih Država.

I'm going to pass it around.

Poslat ću je okolo.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Yeah?

Da?

You can pass it around.

Možete je poslati okolo.

Please note it's a museum specimen,

Imajte na umu da je to muzejski primjerak,

but there's no chance you'll get the avian flu.

ali nema šanse da ćete dobiti ptičju gripu.

After winning this prize, my life changed.

Nakon osvajanja nagrade, moj se život promijenio.

In the first place, people started to send me

Kao prvo, ljudi su mi počeli slati

all kinds of duck-related things,

sve vrste stvari vezanih uz patke,

and I got a real nice collection.

i skupio sam zaista lijepu kolekciju.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

More importantly,

Još važnije,

people started to send me their observations

ljudi su mi počeli slati njihova opažanja

of remarkable animal behavior,

osobitih životinjskih ponašanja,

and believe me, if there's an animal misbehaving on this planet,

i vjerujute mi, ako se neka životinja nedolično ponaša na planetu,

I know about it.

znam za to.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

This is a moose.

Ovo je los.

It's a moose trying to copulate

To je los koji se pokušava pariti

with a bronze statue of a bison.

sa brončanim kipom bizona.

This is in Montana, 2008.

Montana, 2008.

This is a frog that tries to copulate with a goldfish.

Ovo je žaba koja se pokušava pariti sa zlatnom ribicom.

This is the Netherlands, 2011.

Nizozemska, 2011.

These are cane toads in Australia.

Ovo su žabe krastače u Australiji.

This is roadkill.

Ova je žaba pregažena.

Please note that this is necrophilia.

Molim vas uzmite u obzir ovo je nekrofilija.

It's remarkable: the position.

No što je izvanredno jest poza.

The missionary position is very rare in the animal kingdom.

Misionarska je poza vrlo rijetka u životinjskom carstvu.

These are pigeons in Rotterdam.

Ovo su golubovi u Rotterdamu.

Barn swallows in Hong Kong, 2004.

Lastavice u Hong Kongu, 2004.

This is a turkey in Wisconsin

Ovo je pura u Wisconsinu

on the premises of the Ethan Allen juvenile correctional institution.

na prostoru maloljetničke odgojne ustanove Ethan Allen.

It took all day,

Trajalo je cijeli dan,

and the prisoners had a great time.

i zatvorenici su se odlično zabavljali.

So what does this mean?

Što to zapravo znači?

I mean, the question I ask myself,

Pitanje koje sam si postavio je

why does this happen in nature?

zašto se to događa u prirodi?

Well, what I concluded

Pa, ono što sam zaključio

from reviewing all these cases

iz pregleda svih ovih slučajeva

is that it is important that this happens

je to da je važno da se to događa

only when death is instant

samo kada je smrt trenutna

and in a dramatic way

i dramatična

and in the right position for copulation.

i u pravoj poziciji za snošaj.

At least, I thought it was till I got these slides.

Barem sam to mislio dok nisam dobio ove slajdove.

And here you see a dead duck.

Ovdje vidite mrtvu patku.

It's been there for three days,

Bila je onde tri dana

and it's laying on its back.

i leži na leđima.

So there goes my theory of necrophilia.

Stoga ode moja teorija o nekrofiliji.

Another example of the impact

Još jedan primjer utjecaja

of glass buildings on the life of birds.

staklenih zgrada na život ptica.

This is Mad Max, a blackbird who lives in Rotterdam.

Ovo je Mad Max, kos koji živi u Rotterdamu.

The only thing this bird did was fly against this window

Jedino što je ova ptica radila je bilo zalijetanje u prozor

from 2004 to 2008, day in and day out.

od 2004. do 2008., iz dana u dan.

Here he goes, and here's a short video.

Evo ga, i ovdje je kratki video.

(Music) (Clunk)

(Muzika) (Tupi udarac)

(Clunk)

(Tupi udarac)

(Clunk)

(Tupi udarac)

(Clunk)

(Tupi udarac)

So what this bird does

Dakle, ono što ova ptica radi

is fight his own image.

je borba sa vlastitim odrazom.

He sees an intruder in his territory,

On vidi nametljivca na svom teritoriju,

and it's coming all the time and he's there,

koji dolazi cijelo vrijeme dok je on ondje,

so there is no end to it.

i tome nema kraja.

And I thought, in the beginning -- I studied this bird for a couple of years --

I razmišljao sam --proučavao sam ovu pticu nekoliko godina--

that, well, shouldn't the brain of this bird be damaged?

ne bi li mozak ove ptice trebao biti oštećen?

It's not. I show you here some slides,

Nije. Pokazat ću vam neke slajdove,

some frames from the video,

neke isječke iz videa,

and at the last moment before he hits the glass,

i u zadnjem trenutku prije nego udari u staklo,

he puts his feet in front,

stavi svoje noge ispred

and then he bangs against the glass.

te zatim udari u prozor.

So I'll conclude to invite you all to Dead Duck Day.

Zaključit ću pozivom svih vas na Dan mrtve patke.

That's on June 5 every year.

To je 5. lipnja svake godine.

At five minutes to six in the afternoon,

U pet minuta do šest sati popodne

we come together at the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam,

dolazimo zajedno u prirodoslovni muzej u Rotterdamu,

the duck comes out of the museum,

patka izađe iz muzeja

and we try to discuss new ways

i pokušavamo raspravljati o novim načinima

to prevent birds from colliding with windows.

da zaštitimo ptice od sudara s prozorima.

And as you know, or as you may not know,

I kao što znate, ili ako ne znate,

this is one of the major causes of death

ovo je jedan od glavnih uzroka smrti

for birds in the world.

ptica u svijetu.

In the U.S. alone, a billion birds die

Samo u Americi, milijarda ptica umre

in collision with glass buildings.

u sudaru sa staklenim zgradama.

And when it's over, we go to a Chinese restaurant

I kada je gotovo, odemo u kineski restoran

and we have a six-course duck dinner.

i jedemo pačju večeru od šest sljedova.

So I hope to see you

Stoga se nadam da ćemo se vidjeti

next year in Rotterdam, the Netherlands,

slijedeće godine u Rotterdamu u Nizozemskoj

for Dead Duck Day.

na Danu mrtve patke.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

Pljesak

Oh, sorry.

Oh, pardon.

May I have my duck back, please?

Mogu li dobiti natrag svoju patku?

(Laughter) (Applause)

(Smijeh) (pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala.