Helder Guimarães: A magical search for a coincidence

Prevoditelj: Anja Kolobarić Recezent: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG

I'd like to start my performance by saying 90 percent of everything is crap.

Započeo bih nastup ovim riječima: 90 posto svega je glupost.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

It's called Sturgeon's law, and what that means

To je Sturgeonov zakon, a znači

is that the majority of anything is always bad.

kako je većina bilo čega uvijek loša.

I have a giraffe here.

Ovdje imam žirafu.

I'm going to throw the giraffe behind my back

Bacit ću je iza sebe

and whoever catches it is going to help me on this next thing.

i tko god je uhvati pomoći će mi sa sljedećim zadatkom.

Sir, you caught the giraffe.

Gospodine, vi ste uhvatili žirafu.

I have a playing card in my hand.

U ruci držim kartu.

Freely name any card in the deck.

Recite bilo koju kartu.

Audience member: 10 of hearts.

Član publike: herc 10.

Helder Guimarães: 10 of hearts.

Helder Guimarãe: herc 10.

You could have named any card in the deck,

Mogli ste reći bilo koju kartu,

but you said the 10 of hearts.

ali rekli ste "herc 10".

Ninety percent of everything is crap,

Devedeset posto svega je glupost,

so there's this to prove that Sturgeon was correct.

a ovo dokazuje kako je Sturgeon bio u pravu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Sir, this is not your show.

Gospodine, ovo nije vaš show!

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Keep the giraffe for a moment, okay?

Zadržite žirafu na trenutak, može?

Jesus.

Svašta.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Crazy people.

Ludih li ljudi.

Well, the truth is,

Kako bilo, istina je,

why is the majority of everything bad?

zašto je većina svega loša?

And my answer is: I think we stop thinking too soon.

Moj odgovor glasi: mislim da prerano prestajemo razmišljati.

I'll give you a clear little example,

Dat ću vam jednostavan primjer,

something that people used to do around the turn of the century --

nešto što su ljudi radili na prijelazu stoljeća --

not this century, the other one.

ne ovog stoljeća, onog drugog.

The idea was to take a piece of paper

Trebalo je uzeti komadić papira,

and fold it inside out using only your weaker hand,

presaviti ga nedominantnom rukom,

in my case, the left hand.

u mom slučaju lijevom rukom.

Something that would look like this.

To bi ovako izgledalo.

By the way you reacted, I can see your lack of interest.

Sudeći po vašoj reakciji, vidim da niste zainteresirani.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But that's okay, I understand why.

Ali nema veze, razumijem.

We stop thinking too soon.

Prerano prestajemo razmišljati.

But if we give it a little bit more thought,

Ali ukoliko to malo zakomplicirate,

like a paper clip.

npr. dodavši spajalicu.

A paper clip makes this a little bit more interesting.

Spajalica to malo začini.

Not only that, if instead of using my hand with the fingers,

Ne samo to, ako umjesto ruke i prstiju

I use my hand closed into a fist,

koristim samo šaku,

that makes this even a little bit more interesting.

bit će još zanimljivije.

Not only that, but I will impose myself a time limit of one second,

I to nije sve, zadat ću si vremenski rok od jedne sekunde,

something that would look like this.

a to bi ovako izgledalo.

Now -- no, no, no.

Da vidimo -- ne, ne, ne.

Sturgeon may be correct.

Sturgeon je možda bio u pravu.

But he doesn't have to be correct forever.

Ali ne mora zauvijek biti u pravu.

Things can always change.

Sve je promjenjivo.

Sir, what was the card?

Gospodine, koja je karta bila u pitanju?

The 10 of hearts?

Herc deset?

There's this to prove that things can always change --

Evo dokaza da je sve promjenjivo --

the 10 of hearts.

herc deset.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Secrets are important.

Tajne su važne.

And secrets are valuable.

Tajne su vrijedne.

And this is the best secret I've ever experienced.

A ovo je najbolja tajna ikad.

It starts with a deck of cards onto the table,

Počinje sa špilom karata na stolu,

an old man and a claim,

starcem i tvrdnjom:

"I will not touch the deck till the end."

"Neću ni taknuti špil sve do kraja."

It doesn't matter who the man was,

Nije bitno tko je taj čovjek,

all that matters was that sentence ringing in my head:

bitna je samo rečenica koja mi neprestano odzvanja u glavi.

"I will not touch the deck till the end."

"Neću ni taknuti špil sve do kraja."

Now, during all this time,

Cijelo to vrijeme,

he was holding a small notebook

držao je malu bilježnicu

that sometimes he would open and flip through the pages

koju bi s vremena na vrijeme otvorio, prelistao

and look at something.

i nešto pogledao.

But I was not really paying attention to the book

Ali ja nisam pazio na bilježnicu

because I was paying attention the deck and the claim he had made before,

jer sam pazio na špil i njegovu prijašnju tvrdnju:

"I will not touch the deck till the end."

"Neću ni taknuti špil sve do kraja."

Now sir, you have the giraffe.

Gospodine sa žirafom,

Go ahead, throw it in any direction

sad je bacite bilo gdje

so that you can find someone else at random.

da možete nasumično izabrati nekog drugog.

Perfect. Sir, you're going to play my role in this story.

Odlično. Gospodine, glumit ćete mene u ovoj priči.

The old man turned to me and he said,

Čovjek se okrenuo prema meni i rekao:

"You could pick a red card or a black card."

"Izaberite ili crvenu ili crnu kartu."

My answer was ...

A moj odgovor je bio...

Audience member 2: The black card.

Član publike 2: Crna.

HG: Indeed!

HG: Uistinu!

It was a black card.

Bila je crna karta.

He said, "It could be a club or a spade,"

Rekao je: "Ili tref ili pik."

and my answer was ...

A moj odgovor je bio...

Audience member 2: Spade.

Član publike 2: Pik.

HG: Indeed! It was a spade.

HG: Uistinu! Pik.

He said, "It could be a high spade or a low spade."

Rekao je: "Ili visoki broj ili niski."

And my answer was ...

A moj odgovor je bio...

Audience member 2: A high spade.

Član publike 2: Visoki.

HG: Indeed! It was a high spade.

HG: Uistinu! Pik, visoki.

Since it's a high spade, it could be a nine, a 10,

Kako se radi o visokoj karti, može biti 9 ili 10,

a jack, king, queen or the ace of spades.

dečko, kralj, kraljica ili as.

And my answer was ...

A moj odgovor je bio...

Audience member 2: The king.

Član publike 2: Kralj.

HG: The king of spades, indeed.

HG: Kralj pik, uistinu!

Now sir, let's be fair.

Gospodine, budimo iskreni.

You selected black, you selected spade,

Vi ste izabrali crnu kartu i pik,

you selected the high spade, and you selected -- sorry?

izabrali ste visoku kartu i -- što je ono bilo?

Audience member 2: King. HG: King of spades.

Član publike 2: Kralj. HG: Pik kralj.

Did you feel I influenced you in any decision?

Jeste li imali osjećaj da vas navodim?

Audience member 2: No, I just felt your energy.

ČP2: Ne, samo sam osjetio vašu energiju.

HG: Ali bio je to slobodan izbor, zar ne?

HG: But it was a free choice, correct?

Because if not, we could start all over again.

Jer ako nije, možemo ispočetka.

Bilo je pošteno? ČP 2: Apsolutno!

But it was really fair? Audience member 2: Absolutely.

HG: Starac se okrenuo i postavio mi još jedno pitanje.

HG: Now, the old man turned to me and he asked me one more question,

a number between one and 52.

da kažem broj između 1 i 52.

And the first number I thought of was ...

Prvi broj koji mi je pao na pamet bijaše:

Audience member 2: 17.

ČP 2: 17.

HG: Indeed! It was the 17.

HG: Uistinu - 17!

The old man only said one more thing:

Starac je rekao još jednu stvar:

"This is the end."

"Ovo je kraj."

And I knew exactly what that meant.

Znao sam točno što to znači.

I knew that he was going to touch the deck.

Znao sam da će se uhvatiti špila.

Everything that you're about to see is exactly as it looked.

Vidjet ćete kako je to točno izgledalo.

He took the deck out of the box.

Izvadio je špil iz kutije.

Nothing in the box.

Kutija je bila prazna.

He counted, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10."

Brojao je: "Jedan, dva, tri, četiri, pet, šest, sedam, osam, devet, deset."

The tension was building.

Napetost je rasla.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17."

"...11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17."

And on the 17, instead of the king of spades,

I na 17, umjesto kralja pik

something appeared in the middle of the deck,

nešto se drugo pojavilo na sredini špila,

that later, I would realize was actually a secret.

a za to sam kasnije saznao da je bila tajna.

The old man stood up, he left.

Starac je ustao i otišao.

I never saw him again.

Više ga nikada nisam vidio.

But he left his notebook

Ali ostavio je bilježnicu

that was there from the beginning.

koja je bila ondje od početka.

And when I picked it up,

Kad sam je uzeo,

that was the best secret I've ever experienced.

bila je to najbolja tajna ikad.

We are defined by the secrets we keep

Definiraju nas tajne koje čuvamo

and by the secrets we share.

i one koje dijelimo.

And this was his way of sharing a secret with me.

A na ovaj je način on podijelio svoju tajnu sa mnom.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Crazy shit! Now --

Ludilo! E sad --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I believe that amazing things happen all the time.

vjerujem da se nevjerojatne stvari neprestano događaju.

I really do.

Uistinu.

And the reason why we don't see them as often,

No ne vidimo ih tako često

it's because we don't place ourselves in a position

zato što se ne stavljamo u ulogu

to search for those amazing things.

tragatelja za nevjerojatnim stvarima.

But what if we decided to search for those amazing things,

Ali što bi se dogodilo da odlučimo tragati za tim nevjerojatnim stvarima,

for those small coincidences in life that are truly amazing?

za malim životnim slučajnostima koje su uistinu nevjerojatne?

So you have the giraffe,

Imate žirafu,

go ahead, throw it in any direction so you find one last person at random.

bacite je u bilo kojem smjeru da nasumično pronađete posljednju osobu.

Sir, I'm going to ask you,

Gospodine,

do you have, with you, a United States $1 bill?

imate li sa sobom novčanicu od 1$?

Audience member 3: I think so.

Član publike 3: Mislim da da.

HG: Yes? You see, a coincidence!

HG: Da? Vidite, slučajnost!

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Let's make sure you have it.

'Ajmo provjeriti.

Do you have it?

Imate li je?

Audience member 3: Yes. HG: Yes! Perfect.

Član publike 3: Da. HG: Odlično!

Now, I want you to do exactly the same thing I am about to do.

Napravit ćete isto što i ja.

I have a dollar bill here to explain.

Objasnit ću vam na svojoj novčanici.

I want you to take the dollar bill,

Uzmite svoju novčanicu,

and fold the Washington part inside, like this.

presavijte dio s Washingtonom - ovako.

So you get this kind of big square, okay?

Dobijete ovaj veliki kvadrat, dobro?

Now, I want you to take the bill and fold it like this, lengthwise,

Sada je ovako presavijte - po dužini.

so it becomes like a rectangle,

Dobit ćete pravokutnik.

and then again -- really fold it, really crease it --

Opet je dobro presavijte, neka se poznaju nabori --

and when you have it,

kad to učinite,

please fold the bill again into a little square like this

ponovno presavijte novčanicu u kvadrat poput ovoga

and let me know when you have it.

i javite mi kad uspijete.

Do you have it? Perfect.

Jeste li? Odlično.

Now, I'm going to approach,

Sad ću vam prići

and before we start,

i prije no što počnemo

I want to make sure that we do this in very, very serious conditions.

želim da radimo u jako, jako ozbiljnim uvjetima.

Najprije nam treba marker i spajalica.

First of all, I want to ensure that we have a marker and we have a paper clip.

First of all, take the marker and go ahead and sign the bill.

Sada uzmite marker i potpišite se na novčanicu.

And this is the reason why:

A evo i zašto:

later, I'm going to be doing a bunch of stuff on stage

kasnije ću svašta raditi na pozornici

and I don't want you to think,

i ne želim da pomislite

oh, while I was distracted by Helder,

"oh, dok je meni Helder odvlačio pažnju,

someone came onstage and swapped the bill.

netko je zamijenio novčanice."

So I want to make sure it's exactly the same bill.

Želim da budemo sigurni da je to ista novčanica.

Now not only that, I want you to take the paper clip

I to nije sve, želim da uzmete spajalicu

and put it around the bill.

i stavite je na novčanicu.

So even if nobody comes onstage and switches the bill,

Čak i da nitko ne dođe zamijeniti novčanice,

I don't have enough time to go open the bill and close it

neću imati dovoljno vremena da je otvorim i zatvorim

and see what I don't want to see.

da vidim ono što ne želim vidjeti.

Is that fair?

Zvuči pošteno?

Now you can give me the marker back.

Vratite mi marker.

And just like that, very clearly,

Tako, jako jednostavno,

I want to make sure that we place this in full view

želim da je postavimo tako da je svi mogu gledati

from the beginning of this experience

od početka ovog doživljaja.

and to make sure that everyone is going to see it,

Da budemo sigurni kako je svi mogu vidjeti,

we're going to actually have a camera man onstage.

postavit ćemo kameru na pozornicu.

Yes, perfect, so that you can see.

E tako, da svi možete vidjeti.

That's your signature? Yes? Perfect.

To je vaš potpis? Da? Odlično.

Now, we're going to use also the deck and a glass for this.

Za ovo ćemo koristiti špil i čašu.

And we're going to put ourselves in a position

Stavit ćemo se

to search for an amazing coincidence.

u ulogu tragača za nevjerojatnim slučajnostima.

Do you mind, can you help me with this?

Možete li mi pomoći?

Go ahead and take some cards and shuffle.

Uzmite karte i promiješajte ih.

And do you mind, can you take some cards and shuffle?

Ako vam nije problem, možete li promiješati karte?

You can take some cards and shuffle.

Uzmite karte i miješajte.

You can shuffle cards in a variety of ways.

Možete ih miješati kako god hoćete.

You can shuffle cards like this.

Ovako.

You can shuffle cards in a more messed up way,

Ili malo čudnije.

something like this.

ovako nekako.

You can shuffle cards in the American way.

Možete ih miješati na američki način.

As a Portuguese, I don't feel entitled to teach you guys how to do it.

Budući da sam Portugalac, mislim da vas nemam pravo tome učiti.

But the important part is after shuffling the cards,

Najvažnije je ono što slijedi nakon miješanja karti,

always remember to cut and complete the cards.

uvijek ih presijecite i popunite kartama.

Do you mind doing that for me, sir?

Možete li to, gospodine?

Please cut and complete.

Presijecite i popunite.

And when you have it, place the cards up in the air.

Kad to napravite, podignite ih u zrak.

And you too, cut and complete and up in the air.

Vi isto - presijecite, popunite, podignite.

Up in the air.

U zrak.

A deck of cards cut and shuffled by one, two, three, four and five people.

Špil karata što ga je promiješalo jedno, dvoje, troje, četvero, petero.

Now, very clearly, I'm going to gather the deck together.

Sad ću ih jednostavno spojiti u špil.

And just like that.

Tako.

I'm going to search for a coincidence in front of everyone.

Tragat ću za slučajnosti pred svima vama.

I'm going to try.

Pokušat ću.

I have some cards that maybe,

Imam neke karte koje možda,

maybe they don't mean anything.

možda ne znače ništa.

But maybe that's because we are not paying close attention.

Ali možda je to zato što ne pazimo.

Because maybe, maybe they mean a lot.

Možda, možda znače jako puno.

Before we start, sir, you gave me a dollar bill.

Prije no što počnemo, gospodine, dajte mi novčanicu.

Is that your signature?

Je li to vaš potpis?

Audience member 3: Yes it is.

Član publike 3: Da.

HG: I want you to see very clearly

HG: Želim da jasno vidite

that I'm going to open your bill

kako otvaram vašu novčanicu

and reveal a small secret that we created.

i otkrivam malu tajnu koju smo stvorili.

And the secret of this dollar bill is the serial number.

A tajna je da je ova novčanica serijski broj.

Madam, can you take the dollar bill?

Gospođo, uzmite ovu novčanicu.

In the serial number, there is a letter.

U serijskom broju nalazi se slovo.

What is the first number after the letter?

Koji je prvi broj poslije slova?

Audience member 4: Seven.

Član publike 4: Sedam.

HG: Seven.

HG: Sedam.

Seven.

Sedam.

But, that's maybe just one coincidence.

Ali to bi mogla biti samo slučajnost.

What is the second number? Audience member 4: Nine.

Koji je drugi broj? Član publike 4: Devet.

So after the seven, we have a nine.

Poslije sedam imamo devet.

And after the nine?

A poslije devet?

Audience member 4: Two.

Član publike 4: Dva.

HG: The two. And after the two?

HG: Dva. A poslije dva?

Audience member 4: Three.

Član publike 4: Tri.

HG: Three, and after?

HG: Tri, a poslije toga?

Audience member 4: Three. HG: Three.

Član publike 4: Tri. HG: Tri.

Audience member 4: Seven. HG: Seven.

Član publike 4: Sedam. HG: Sedam.

Audience member 4: Four. HG: Four.

Član publike 4: Četiri. HG: Četiri.

Audience member 4: Two. HG: Two, and?

Član publike 4: Dva. HG: Dva, i?

Audience member 4: Q.

Član publike 4: Q.

HG: Q like in queen?

HG: Q - kao kraljica?

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

The queen of clubs!

Kraljica tref.

All the cards in order, just for you.

Sve karte redom, samo za vas.

And that's my show.

I to je moj show.

Thank you very much and have a nice night.

Puno vam hvala i ugodna vam večer.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)