Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger

Translator: Enara Caride Reviewer: Xosé María Moreno

[This talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual violence

[Esta charla contén linguaxe gráfica e descricións de violencia sexual.

Viewer discretion is advised]

Recoméndase a discreción do espectador]

Tom Stranger: In 1996, when I was 18 years old,

Tom Stranger: en 1996, cando tiña 18 años,

I had the golden opportunity to go on an international exchange program.

tiven a oportunidade de ouro de entrar nun programa de intercambio internacional.

Ironically I'm an Australian who prefers proper icy cold weather,

Ironicamente, son un australiano que prefire climas fríos e xélidos,

so I was both excited and tearful when I got on a plane to Iceland,

así que estaba emocionado e ao mesmo tempo triste cando tomei un avión a Islandia,

after just having farewelled my parents and brothers goodbye.

xusto despois de me despedir dos meus pais e irmáns.

I was welcomed into the home of a beautiful Icelandic family

Fun benvido na casa dunha marabillosa familia islandesa

who took me hiking,

que me levou de excursión

and helped me get a grasp of the melodic Icelandic language.

e me axudou a comprender a melódica lingua islandesa.

I struggled a bit with the initial period of homesickness.

Tiven que afacerme un pouco ao período inicial de morriña.

I snowboarded after school,

Facía snowboard despois da escola,

and I slept a lot.

e dormía moito.

Two hours of chemistry class in a language that you don't yet fully understand

Dúas horas de química nunha lingua que aínda non entendes completamente

can be a pretty good sedative.

pode ser un bo sedante.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

My teacher recommended I try out for the school play,

O profesor recomendoume facer a proba para a obra de teatro da escola,

just to get me a bit more socially active.

para que así fose un pouco máis activo socialmente.

It turns out I didn't end up being part of the play,

Resultou que finalmente non formei parte da obra,

but through it I met Thordis.

mais a través dela coñecín a Thordis.

We shared a lovely teenage romance,

Compartimos un fermoso romance adolescente,

and we'd meet at lunchtimes to just hold hands

e quedabamos á hora da comida só para collernos das mans

and walk around old downtown Reykjavík.

e camiñar polo vello centro de Reykjavík.

I met her welcoming family, and she met my friends.

Eu coñecín a súa encantadora familia, e ela coñeceu os meus amigos.

We'd been in a budding relationship for a bit over a month

Levabamos saíndo por algo máis dun mes

when our school's Christmas Ball was held.

cando se celebrou o baile de Nadal.

Thordis Elva: I was 16 and in love for the first time.

Thordis Elva: tiña 16 e estaba namorada por primeira vez.

Going together to the Christmas dance

Ir xuntos ao baile de Nadal

was a public confirmation of our relationship,

era a confirmación pública da nosa relación,

and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

e sentinme coma a moza con máis sorte do mundo.

No longer a child, but a young woman.

Non era xa unha nena, senón unha muller.

High on my newfound maturity,

Emocionada na miña nova e descuberta madurez,

I felt it was only natural to try drinking rum for the first time that night, too.

pensei que sería natural probar ron por primeira vez aquela noite.

That was a bad idea.

Foi unha mala idea.

I became very ill,

Púxenme moi mal,

drifting in and out of consciousness

vagando entre a consciencia e a inconsciencia

in between spasms of convulsive vomiting.

entre espasmos e convulsións, vomitando.

The security guards wanted to call me an ambulance,

Os gardas de seguridade quixeron pedirme unha ambulancia,

but Tom acted as my knight in shining armor,

mais Tom actuou como o meu cabaleiro de brillante armadura,

and told them he'd take me home.

e díxolles que me levaría el a casa.

It was like a fairy tale,

Foi coma un conto,

his strong arms around me,

os seus fortes brazos rodeándome,

laying me in the safety of my bed.

deitándome na seguridade da miña cama.

But the gratitude that I felt towards him soon turned to horror

Porén a gratitude que lle profesaba rapidamente tornouse en horror

as he proceeded to take off my clothes and get on top of me.

cando procedeu a quitarme a roupa e poñerse sobre min.

My head had cleared up,

De súpeto sentín a cabeza despexada,

but my body was still too weak to fight back,

mais o meu corpo estaba aínda moi débil para opoñerse,

and the pain was blinding.

e a dor era insoportable.

I thought I'd be severed in two.

Pensei que ía rachar en dúas.

In order to stay sane,

Para me manter lúcida,

I silently counted the seconds on my alarm clock.

contei en silencio os segundos no meu espertador.

And ever since that night,

E desde esa noite,

I've known that there are 7,200 seconds in two hours.

souben que hai 7,200 segundos en dúas horas.

Despite limping for days and crying for weeks,

A pesar de coxear durante días e chorar por semanas,

this incident didn't fit my ideas about rape like I'd seen on TV.

este incidente non encaixaba na idea de violación que eu observara na televisión.

Tom wasn't an armed lunatic;

Tom non era un lunático armado;

he was my boyfriend.

era o meu noivo.

And it didn't happen in a seedy alleyway,

E non ocorrera nunha sórdida canella,

it happened in my own bed.

sucedeu na miña propia cama.

By the time I could identify what had happened to me as rape,

Para cando puiden recoñecer que fora violada

he had completed his exchange program

el xa completara o programa de intercambio

and left for Australia.

e regresara a Australia.

So I told myself it was pointless to address what had happened.

Así que me dixen que non tiña sentido abordar o sucedido.

And besides,

E ademais,

it had to have been my fault, somehow.

tivo que ser pola miña culpa, de algún xeito.

I was raised in a world where girls are taught

Crecín nun mundo no que se lles ensina ás nenas

that they get raped for a reason.

que son violadas por un motivo.

Their skirt was too short,

A súa saia era moi curta,

their smile was too wide,

sorría moito,

their breath smelled of alcohol.

o seu alento cheiraba a alcohol.

And I was guilty of all of those things,

E eu era culpable de todas aquelas cousas,

so the shame had to be mine.

de xeito que era eu quen debía sentir vergoña.

It took me years to realize

Tardei anos en comprender

that only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night,

que só unha cousa puido ter evitado que fose violada aquela noite,

and it wasn't my skirt,

e non foi a miña saia,

it wasn't my smile,

nin o meu sorriso,

it wasn't my childish trust.

non foi a miña infantil confianza.

The only thing that could've stopped me from being raped that night

O único que puido evitar que fose violada aquela noite

is the man who raped me --

foi o home que me violou --

had he stopped himself.

se se detivese.

TS: I have vague memories of the next day:

TS: teño poucos recordos do día seguinte:

the after effects of drinking,

os efectos secundarios do alcohol,

a certain hollowness that I tried to stifle.

un certo baleiro que tratei de sufocar.

Nothing more.

Nada máis.

But I didn't show up at Thordis's door.

Porén non me presentei na porta de Thordis.

It is important to now state

É importante agora establecer

that I didn't see my deed for what it was.

que eu non vira as miñas accións como o que realmente eran.

The word "rape" didn't echo around my mind as it should've,

A palabra "violación" non apareceu na miña mente como debería,

and I wasn't crucifying myself with memories of the night before.

e non estaba a me crucificar polos recordos da noite anterior.

It wasn't so much a conscious refusal,

Non era tanto un rexeitamento consciente,

it was more like any acknowledgment of reality was forbidden.

senón máis coma que calquera recoñecemento da realidade estaba prohibido.

My definition of my actions completely refuted any recognition

A miña definición das miñas accións desmentía calquera aceptación

of the immense trauma I caused Thordis.

do inmenso trauma que lle causei a Thordis.

To be honest,

Sendo sincero,

I repudiated the entire act in the days afterwards

repudiei por enteiro a acción nos días posteriores

and when I was committing it.

e cando estaba a cometela.

I disavowed the truth by convincing myself it was sex and not rape.

Rexeitei a realidade ao convencerme de que era sexo, non unha violación.

And this is a lie I've felt spine-bending guilt for.

E esta é unha mentira da cal sinto unha enorme culpa.

I broke up with Thordis a couple of days later,

Rompín con Thordis un par de días despois,

and then saw her a number of times

e logo vina unhas cantas veces

during the remainder of my year in Iceland,

durante o resto do meu ano en Islandia,

feeling a sharp stab of heavyheartedness each time.

sentindo cada unha desas veces unha intensa punzada de aflición.

Deep down, I knew I'd done something immeasurably wrong.

No fondo, sabía que fixera algo inmensamente mal.

But without planning it, I sunk the memories deep,

Mais sen planealo, afoguei eses recordos,

and then I tied a rock to them.

e logo ateilles unha pedra.

What followed is a nine-year period

O que lle seguiu foi un período de nove anos

that can best be titled as "Denial and Running."

mellor chamado como "Negación e Fuxida".

When I got a chance to identify the real torment that I caused,

Cando tiven a oportunidade de identificar o verdadeiro dano que causara,

I didn't stand still long enough to do so.

non fun quen de soportar o suficiente como para facelo.

Whether it be via distraction,

Xa fora por distracción,

substance use,

uso de substancias,

thrill-seeking

búsqueda de emocións fortes

or the scrupulous policing of my inner speak,

ou o escrupuloso control da miña voz interior,

I refused to be static and silent.

rexeitei ficar parado e en silencio.

And with this noise,

E con este ruído,

I also drew heavily upon other parts of my life

Tamén recorrín a outras facetas da miña vida

to construct a picture of who I was.

para así construír unha imaxe de quen era.

I was a surfer,

Era un surfista,

a social science student,

un estudante de ciencias sociais,

a friend to good people,

un bo amigo,

a loved brother and son,

un fillo e irmán querido,

an outdoor recreation guide,

un guía de actividades ao aire libre,

and eventually, a youth worker.

e, finalmente, un traballador xuvenil.

I gripped tight to the simple notion that I wasn't a bad person.

Aferreime á idea de que eu non era unha mala persoa.

I didn't think I had this in my bones.

Non pensei que levara isto no sangue.

I thought I was made up of something else.

Pensei que eu era distinto.

In my nurtured upbringing,

Na educación que recibín,

my loving extended family and role models,

a miña gran familia e modelos a seguir,

people close to me were warm and genuine

a xente próxima a min, eran sinceros e amables

in their respect shown towards women.

no respecto que mostraban cara ás mulleres.

It took me a long time to stare down this dark corner of myself,

Levoume tempo sosterlle a mirada a este oscuro recuncho meu,

and to ask it questions.

e facerlle preguntas.

TE: Nine years after the Christmas dance,

TE: Nove anos despois do baile de Nadal,

I was 25 years old,

eu tiña 25 anos,

and headed straight for a nervous breakdown.

e dirixíame directa cara a un colapso nervioso.

My self-worth was buried under a soul-crushing load of silence

A miña autoestima estaba soterrada baixo unha capa de silencio

that isolated me from everyone that I cared about,

que me illaba de todo aquilo que me importaba,

and I was consumed with misplaced hatred and anger

e eu estaba consumida por unha ira e un odio que non me pertencían

that I took out on myself.

e que pagaba conmigo mesma.

One day, I stormed out of the door in tears

Un día, saín pola porta entre bágoas

after a fight with a loved one,

tras unha discusión cunha persoa querida,

and I wandered into a café,

e entrei nunha cafetería,

where I asked the waitress for a pen.

onde lle pedín un bolígrafo a unha camareira.

I always had a notebook with me,

Sempre levaba unha libreta comigo,

claiming that it was to jot down ideas in moments of inspiration,

alegando que era para anotar ideas en momentos de inspiración,

but the truth was that I needed to be constantly fidgeting,

mais a verdade era que eu necesitaba estar en constante movemento,

because in moments of stillness,

porque en momentos de calma,

I found myself counting seconds again.

atopábame de novo contando eses segundos.

But that day, I watched in wonder as the words streamed out of my pen,

Porén, aquel día contemplei abraiada como as palabras fluían do meu

forming the most pivotal letter I've ever written,

bolígrafo formando a carta máis importante que xamais escribira,

addressed to Tom.

dirixida a Tom.

Along with an account of the violence that he subjected me to,

Xunto cunha narración da violencia á que me someteu,

the words, "I want to find forgiveness"

as palabras, "Quero atopar perdón"

stared back at me,

miráronme,

surprising nobody more than myself.

sorprendendo a ninguén máis que a min mesma.

But deep down I realized that this was my way out of my suffering,

Agora ben, no fondo, eu dérame conta de que este era a miña forma de saír do

because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness,

sufrimento, porque independentemente de se el merecía ou non o meu perdón,

I deserved peace.

eu merecía paz.

My era of shame was over.

A miña era de vergoña rematara.

Before sending the letter,

Antes de enviar a carta,

I prepared myself for all kinds of negative responses,

prepareime para todo tipo de respostas negativas,

or what I found likeliest: no response whatsoever.

ou para o que consideraba máis esperable: ningunha resposta en absoluto.

The only outcome that I didn't prepare myself for

O único resultado para o que non me preparei

was the one that I then got --

foi o que obtiven entón --

a typed confession from Tom, full of disarming regret.

unha confesión escrita de Tom, cargada de sincero arrepentemento.

As it turns out, he, too, had been imprisoned by silence.

E resultou que el tamén estivera aprisionado polo silencio.

And this marked the start of an eight-year-long correspondence

E isto marcou o inicio dunha correspondencia de oito anos

that God knows was never easy,

que Deus sabe nunca foi sinxela,

but always honest.

mais si honesta.

I relieved myself of the burdens that I'd wrongfully shouldered,

Eu libereime das cargas que inxustamente levaba ás costas,

and he, in turn, wholeheartedly owned up to what he'd done.

e el, en resposta, fíxose cargo do que fixera con sinceridade.

Our written exchanges became a platform

Os nosos intercambios escritos convertéronse nunha plataforma

to dissect the consequences of that night,

na que analizar as consecuencias daquela noite,

and they were everything from gut-wrenching

e foron de todo, desde incriblemente dolorosos

to healing beyond words.

ata curar por medio das palabras.

And yet, it didn't bring about closure for me.

E, con todo, para min non supuxo un punto e final.

Perhaps because the email format didn't feel personal enough,

Quizais porque o formato email non o sentía suficientemente íntimo,

perhaps because it's easy to be brave

quizais porque é sinxelo ser valente

when you're hiding behind a computer screen on the other side of the planet.

cando estas agochado tras unha pantalla de ordenador na otra punta do planeta.

But we'd begun a dialogue

Mais comezáramos un diálogo

that I felt was necessary to explore to its fullest.

que sentín que era necesario explorar ata o fondo.

So, after eight years of writing,

Así que, despois de oito anos de correspondencia,

and nearly 16 years after that dire night,

e case 16 anos despois daquela terrible noite,

I mustered the courage to propose a wild idea:

armeime de valor e propuxen unha loucura:

that we'd meet up in person

que nos coñecésemos en persoa

and face our past once and for all.

e afrontásemos o noso pasado dunha vez por todas.

TS: Iceland and Australia are geographically like this.

TS: Islandia e Australia están xeograficamente así.

In the middle of the two is South Africa.

No medio das dúas está Sudáfrica.

We decided upon the city of Cape Town,

Escollimos a cidade de Cape Town,

and there we met for one week.

e alí estivemos durante unha semana.

The city itself proved to be a stunningly powerful environment

A propia cidade resultou ser un poderoso ambiente

to focus on reconciliation and forgiveness.

para a reconciliación e o perdón.

Nowhere else has healing and rapprochement been tested

En ningún outro lugar a curación e o achegamento púxose

like it has in South Africa.

máis a proba que en Sudáfrica.

As a nation, South Africa sought to sit within the truth of its past,

Como nación, Sudáfrica tratou de asentarse na verdade do seu pasado

and to listen to the details of its history.

e de escoitar os detalles da súa historia.

Knowing this only magnified the effect that Cape Town had on us.

Saber isto só fixo máis intenso o efecto que Cape Town tivera sobre nós.

Over the course of this week,

Durante toda esa semana,

we literally spoke our life stories to each other,

contamos ao outro literalmente a historia das nosas vidas,

from start to finish.

de inicio a fin.

And this was about analyzing our own history.

E isto trataba sobre a análise da nosa propia historia.

We followed a strict policy of being honest,

Seguimos unha estricta política de honestidade,

and this also came with a certain exposure,

O que trouxo consigo unha certa exposición,

an open-chested vulnerability.

e unha aberta vulnerabilidade.

There were gutting confessions,

Houbo confesións viscerais,

and moments where we just absolutely couldn't fathom

e momentos nos que foi posible comprender

the other person's experience.

a experiencia da outra persoa.

The seismic effects of sexual violence were spoken aloud and felt,

Os sísmicos efectos da violencia sexual faláronse e sentíronse,

face to face.

cara a cara.

At other times, though,

Noutras ocasións, sen embargo,

we found a soaring clarity,

atopamos unha gran claridade,

and even some totally unexpected but liberating laughter.

e incluso algunha risa totalmente inesperada mais liberadora.

When it came down to it,

Cando chegou o momento,

we did out best to listen to each other intently.

fixemos o mellor para escoitar ao outro con atención.

And our individual realities were aired with an unfiltered purity

E as nosas realidades individuais transmitíronse tan honestamente

that couldn't do any less than lighten the soul.

que non fixeron máis que aliviar.

TE: Wanting to take revenge is a very human emotion --

TE: A ansia de vinganza é un sentimento moi humano --

instinctual, even.

instintivo, incluso.

And all I wanted to do for years

E o único que quixen durante anos

was to hurt Tom back as deeply as he had hurt me.

foi ferir a Tom tan profundamente coma el fixera comigo.

But had I not found a way out of the hatred and anger,

Se non tivese atopado un camiño para saír do odio e a ira,

I'm not sure I'd be standing here today.

non estou segura de se estaría aquí hoxe.

That isn't to say that I didn't have my doubts along the way.

O que non quere dicir que non tivese as miñas dúbidas.

When the plane bounced on that landing strip in Cape Town,

Cando o avión chegou a aquela pista de aterraxe en Cape Town,

I remember thinking,

lembro que pensei,

"Why did I not just get myself a therapist and a bottle of vodka

"Por que non conseguín simplemente un psicólogo e unha botella de vodka,

like a normal person would do?"

como faría unha persoa normal?"

(Laughter)

(Risas)

At times, our search for understanding in Cape Town

Ás veces, a nosa procura de entendemento en Cape Town

felt like an impossible quest,

parecía misión imposible,

and all I wanted to do was to give up

e o único que quería era desistir

and go home to my loving husband, Vidir,

e voltar á casa co meu querido marido, Vidir,

and our son.

e o noso fillo.

But despite our difficulties,

Mais a pesar das nosas dificultades,

this journey did result in a victorious feeling

esta viaxe resultou nun sentimento

that light had triumphed over darkness,

de triunfo da luz sobre a oscuridade,

that something constructive could be built out of the ruins.

de que algo construtivo se podía levantar a partir das ruínas.

I read somewhere

Lín nalgures que un debe tratar de ser

that you should try and be the person that you needed when you were younger.

a persoa que necesitaba cando era xove.

And back when I was a teenager,

E cando era unha adolescente,

I would have needed to know that the shame wasn't mine,

necesitaría ter sabido que a culpa non era miña,

that there's hope after rape,

que hai esperanza tras unha violación,

that you can even find happiness,

que incluso podes atopar felicidade,

like I share with my husband today.

como a que comparto hoxe co meu home.

Which is why I started writing feverishly upon my return from Cape Town,

E por iso, desde a miña chegada de Cape Town comecei a escribir sen parar,

resulting in a book co-authored by Tom,

resultando isto nun libro escrito conxuntamente con Tom,

that we hope can be of use to people from both ends

que esperamos poida ser de axuda para persoas de cada un dos extremos

of the perpetrator-survivor scale.

da escala perpetrador-supervivente.

If nothing else,

Se nada máis,

it's a story that we would've needed to hear when we were younger.

é unha historia que necesitaríamos ter escoitado de novos.

Given the nature of our story,

Dada a natureza da nosa historia,

I know the words that inevitably accompany it --

sei cales son as palabras que inevitablemente a acompañan --

victim, rapist --

vítima, violador --

and labels are a way to organize concepts,

e as etiquetas son un xeito de organizar conceptos,

but they can also be dehumanizing in their connotations.

mais tamén poden resultar nunha deshumanización.

Once someone's been deemed a victim,

Unha vez que alguén é considerado vítima,

it's that much easier to file them away as someone damaged,

é moito máis sinxelo catalogalo como alguén ferido,

dishonored,

aldraxado,

less than.

inferior a.

And likewise, once someone has been branded a rapist,

E do mesmo xeito, unha vez que alguén é catalogado como violador,

it's that much easier to call him a monster --

é moito máis sinxelo chamalo monstro --

inhuman.

inhumano.

But how will we understand what it is in human societies

Mais como seremos capaces de entender que é o que produce a violencia

that produces violence

nas sociedades humanas

if we refuse to recognize the humanity of those who commit it?

se nos negamos recoñecer a humanidade de quen a infrinxen?

And how --

E como --

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

And how can we empower survivors if we're making them feel less than?

E como podemos axudar ás vítimas se facemos que se sintan inferirores?

How can we discuss solutions to one of the biggest threats

Como podemos falar de solucións a unha das maiores ameazas

to the lives of women and children around the world,

contra as vidas de mulleres e nenos no mundo,

if the very words we use are part of the problem?

se mesmo as palabras que empregamos son parte do problema?

TS: From what I've now learnt,

TS: Polo que aprendín,

my actions that night in 1996 were a self-centered taking.

as miñas accións daquela noite de 1996 foron egocéntricas

I felt deserving of Thordis's body.

Sentinme merecedor do corpo de Thordis.

I've had primarily positive social influences

Tiven unha gran cantidade de influencias sociais positivas

and examples of equitable behavior around me.

e exemplos de comportamento igualitario arredor meu.

But on that occasion,

Mais naquela ocasión,

I chose to draw upon the negative ones.

elexín facer uso das negativas.

The ones that see women as having less intrinsic worth,

Aquelas polas que vemos as mulleres coma menos valoradas,

and of men having some unspoken and symbolic claim to their bodies.

e aos homes como os que teñen dereito sobre os seus corpos.

These influences I speak of are external to me, though.

Sen embargo, as influencias das que falo son externas a min.

And it was only me in that room making choices,

E naquela habitación era eu quen estaba a tomar decisións,

nobody else.

ninguén máis.

When you own something

Cando posuímos algo

and really square up to your culpability,

e realmente aceptamos a nosa culpabilidade,

I do think a surprising thing can happen.

penso que pode suceder algo soprendente.

It's what I call a paradox of ownership.

É o que eu chamo paradoxo de propiedade.

I thought I'd buckle under the weight of responsibility.

Pensaba que cedería baixo o peso da responsabilidade.

I thought my certificate of humanity would be burnt.

Pensaba que o meu certificado de humanidade se quemaría.

Instead, I was offered to really own what I did,

No seu lugar, ofrecéuseme o me facer cargo do que fixera,

and found that it didn't possess the entirety of who I am.

e deime conta de que aquilo non formaba parte de todo o que eu era.

Put simply,

Dito doutro xeito,

something you've done doesn't have to constitute the sum of who you are.

algo que fixeches non ten por que definir completamente quen es.

The noise in my head abated.

O ruído da miña cabeza calmouse.

The indulgent self-pity was starved of oxygen,

A indulxente autocompaixón estaba famenta de osíxeno,

and it was replaced with the clean air of acceptance --

e foi subsituída polo aire limpo da aceptación --

an acceptance that I did hurt this wonderful person standing next to me;

a aceptación de que ferín a esta marabillosa persoa ó meu carón;

an acceptance that I am part of a large and shockingly everyday grouping of men

a aceptación de que pertenzo a un gran e alarmantemente grupo de homes

who have been sexually violent toward their partners.

que exerceron violencia sexual contra as súas parellas.

Don't underestimate the power of words.

Non subestimedes o poder das palabras.

Saying to Thordis that I raped her changed my accord with myself,

Dicirlle a Thordis que a violei cambiou o acordo que tiña conmigo mesmo,

as well as with her.

así coma o que tiña con ela.

But most importantly,

E máis importante,

the blame transferred from Thordis to me.

a culpa transferida de Thordis a min.

Far too often,

Moi a miúdo,

the responsibility is attributed to female survivors of sexual violence,

a responsabilidade atribúeselles ás superviventes femininas de violencia

and not to the males who enact it.

sexual, e non aos homes que a perpetran.

Far too often,

Moi frecuentemente,

the denial and running leaves all parties at a great distance from the truth.

a negación e a fuxida deixan a ambas partes moi lonxe da verdade.

There's definitely a public conversation happening now,

Sen dúbida agora hai unha conversa pública,

and like a lot of people,

e como moita xente,

we're heartened that there's less retreating

estamos animados de que haxa menos reparos

from this difficult but important discussion.

con respecto a esta difícil mais importante discusión.

I feel a real responsibility to add our voices to it.

Eu sinto a verdadeira responsabilidade de sumar as nosas voces a isto.

TE: What we did is not a formula that we're prescribing for others.

TE: O que fixemos non foi unha fórmula que estamos a prescribir para os demais.

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to handle their deepest pain

Ninguén ten o dereito de dicirlles aos demais como manexar a súa máis

or their greatest error.

fonda dor ou o seu maior erro.

Breaking your silence is never easy,

Romper o silencio nunca é sinxelo,

and depending on where you are in the world,

e dependendo de onde esteas no mundo,

it can even be deadly to speak out about rape.

pode incluso ser mortal falar sobre a violación.

I realize that even the most traumatic event of my life

Son consciente de que incluso o evento máis traumático da miña vida

is still a testament to my privilege,

segue sendo un testemuño do meu privilexio,

because I can talk about it without getting ostracized,

porque podo falar sobre isto sen ser excluída,

or even killed.

ou incluso asasinada.

But with that privilege of having a voice

Porén co privilexio de ter unha voz

comes the responsibility of using it.

vén a responsabilidade de empregala.

That's the least I owe my fellow survivors who can't.

É o mínimo que lles debo ás miñas compañeiras superviventes que non poden.

The story we've just relayed is unique,

A historia que acabamos de transmitir é única,

and yet it is so common with sexual violence being a global pandemic.

e non obstante é moi común xa que a violencia sexual é unha pandemia mundial.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Aínda que non ten por que ser así.

One of the things that I found useful on my own healing journey

Unha das cousas que atopei útil no meu propio camiño á curación

is educating myself about sexual violence.

foi educarme sobre a violencia sexual.

And as a result, I've been reading, writing

Como resultado, estiven lendo, escribindo

and speaking about this issue for over a decade now,

e falando sobre este tema por máis dunha década,

going to conferences around the world.

indo a conferencias en todo o mundo.

And in my experience,

E na miña experiencia,

the attendees of such events are almost exclusively women.

os participantes destas conferencias son case exclusivamente mulleres.

But it's about time that we stop treating sexual violence as a women's issue.

Mais é o momento de deixar de tratar a violencia sexual como un tema de mulleres.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

A majority of sexual violence against women and men

A maioría da violencia sexual hacia mulleres e homes

is perpetrated by men.

é levada a cabo por homes.

And yet their voices are sorely underrepresented in this discussion.

Non obstante, as súas voces están sumamente subrepresentadas nesta discusión.

But all of us are needed here.

Mais é necesario que todos esteamos aquí.

Just imagine all the suffering we could alleviate

Imaxinade todo o sufrimento que poderiamos aliviar

if we dared to face this issue together.

se nos atrevésemos a enfrontar isto xuntos.

Thank you.

Grazas.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)