Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger

翻译人员: emma wang 校对人员: Lipeng Chen

[This talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual violence

该演讲包含性暴力相关图像语言和描述，

Viewer discretion is advised]

请酌情观看。

Tom Stranger: In 1996, when I was 18 years old,

Tom Stranger：1996年时，我18岁。

I had the golden opportunity to go on an international exchange program.

我获得了一个国际交换项目的宝贵机会。

Ironically I'm an Australian who prefers proper icy cold weather,

但是，我是一个， 更喜欢“适当”寒冷天气的澳大利亚人，

so I was both excited and tearful when I got on a plane to Iceland,

在我告别父母和兄弟们， 登上去冰岛的飞机时，

after just having farewelled my parents and brothers goodbye.

既激动，也有些伤心。

I was welcomed into the home of a beautiful Icelandic family

我受到了一个非常友好的冰岛家庭的欢迎，

who took me hiking,

他们带着我徒步旅行，

and helped me get a grasp of the melodic Icelandic language.

帮助我了解音调优美的冰岛语。

I struggled a bit with the initial period of homesickness.

起初，对家乡的思念让我有些挣扎。

I snowboarded after school,

我放学后去滑雪，

and I slept a lot.

也睡得很多。

Two hours of chemistry class in a language that you don't yet fully understand

用一门你还没能完全理解的语言， 进行两小时的化学课，

can be a pretty good sedative.

可以是一剂不错的“镇定剂”。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

My teacher recommended I try out for the school play,

我的老师建议，我尝试一下学校的戏剧活动，

just to get me a bit more socially active.

让我能在社交上更加积极一些。

It turns out I didn't end up being part of the play,

结果，我并未成功入选，

but through it I met Thordis.

但却遇见了 Thordis。

We shared a lovely teenage romance,

我们情窦初开，

and we'd meet at lunchtimes to just hold hands

我们午餐时见面，只是为了牵个手，

and walk around old downtown Reykjavík.

在雷克雅未克的旧城中散步。

I met her welcoming family, and she met my friends.

我见过了她热情的家人， 她也见过了我的朋友们。

We'd been in a budding relationship for a bit over a month

直到学校的圣诞舞会，

when our school's Christmas Ball was held.

我们萌芽中的关系， 才进行了一个月多一点时间。

Thordis Elva: I was 16 and in love for the first time.

Thordis Elva： 那时我16岁，第一次恋爱。

Going together to the Christmas dance

我们一起参加圣诞舞会，

was a public confirmation of our relationship,

意味着，我们之间关系的正式公开，

and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

我觉得，我是世界上最幸运的姑娘。

No longer a child, but a young woman.

不再是一个孩子， 而是一个年轻的女人。

High on my newfound maturity,

在发现自己变得更加成熟， 而感到激动不已时，

I felt it was only natural to try drinking rum for the first time that night, too.

我同时觉得，当晚理应 首次尝尝朗姆酒才是。

That was a bad idea.

那是一个错误的决定。

I became very ill,

我变得非常不适，

drifting in and out of consciousness

在剧烈呕吐带来的痉挛期间，

in between spasms of convulsive vomiting.

时而意识不清。

The security guards wanted to call me an ambulance,

保安本想帮助我叫一辆救护车，

but Tom acted as my knight in shining armor,

但 Tom 如同我的英雄一般，

and told them he'd take me home.

告诉他们，他会送我回家。

It was like a fairy tale,

那就像童话故事一样，

his strong arms around me,

他强壮的手臂围绕着我，

laying me in the safety of my bed.

把我放在我的床上。

But the gratitude that I felt towards him soon turned to horror

但接下来，当他脱掉我的衣服， 压在我的身上时，

as he proceeded to take off my clothes and get on top of me.

我对他的感激，转瞬变成恐惧。

My head had cleared up,

我的脑袋里一片空白，

but my body was still too weak to fight back,

但我仍旧虚弱的身体，无法反抗，

and the pain was blinding.

并且伴随着剧烈的疼痛。

I thought I'd be severed in two.

我感到我像是会被一分为二。

In order to stay sane,

为了保持清醒，

I silently counted the seconds on my alarm clock.

我默默地数着我闹钟上的秒数。

And ever since that night,

从那天晚上开始，

I've known that there are 7,200 seconds in two hours.

我知道了，2个小时中， 一共有7200秒。

Despite limping for days and crying for weeks,

尽管接下来的很多天中，我都感到浑身无力， 也连续哭了好几周，

this incident didn't fit my ideas about rape like I'd seen on TV.

这件事， 并不符合我对电视报道中 强奸的理解。

Tom wasn't an armed lunatic;

Tom 并不是一个有武器的精神错乱的人；

he was my boyfriend.

他是我的男朋友。

这件事也并非发生在一条破旧的小巷中，

And it didn't happen in a seedy alleyway,

it happened in my own bed.

它发生在我自己的床上。

By the time I could identify what had happened to me as rape,

直到我能够意识到， 发生在我身上的是强奸时，

he had completed his exchange program

他已经完成了交换项目，

and left for Australia.

回到了澳大利亚。

So I told myself it was pointless to address what had happened.

所以，我告诉自己， 再去强调已经发生的事没有意义。

And besides,

此外，

it had to have been my fault, somehow.

某种程度上来说，我一定也有错。

I was raised in a world where girls are taught

我从小接受的教育认为，

that they get raped for a reason.

女孩被强奸一定有其原因。

Their skirt was too short,

她们的裙子太短，

their smile was too wide,

她们的笑得过于开心，

their breath smelled of alcohol.

她们散发着酒气。

And I was guilty of all of those things,

我对所有这些都感到内疚，

so the shame had to be mine.

所以，我应当感到羞愧。

It took me years to realize

我花了很多年的时间，才意识到

that only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night,

那天晚上，唯一能阻止我被侵犯的，

and it wasn't my skirt,

不是我的裙子，

it wasn't my smile,

不是我的笑容，

it wasn't my childish trust.

更不是我幼稚的信任。

The only thing that could've stopped me from being raped that night

唯一能够阻止我在那天晚上被侵犯的，

is the man who raped me --

是强奸我的那个男人——

had he stopped himself.

能够阻止他自己。

TS: I have vague memories of the next day:

Tom Stranger：因为喝了酒，

the after effects of drinking,

我对第二天的记忆很模糊，

a certain hollowness that I tried to stifle.

我试图扼制住一种空虚感。

Nothing more.

没有更多。

But I didn't show up at Thordis's door.

但是，我并没有出现在 Thordis 的家门口。

It is important to now state

现在，需要重点说明的是，

that I didn't see my deed for what it was.

当时我并未认识到我行为的实质。

The word "rape" didn't echo around my mind as it should've,

“强奸”这两个字，并未如其应当的那样， 在我脑海中不断浮现，

and I wasn't crucifying myself with memories of the night before.

我也并未因为昨晚发生的事情折磨自己。

It wasn't so much a conscious refusal,

那不太像是，一种有意识的拒绝，

it was more like any acknowledgment of reality was forbidden.

更像是对现实的认知，遇到了阻碍。

My definition of my actions completely refuted any recognition

我对自身行为的定义，完全击败了

of the immense trauma I caused Thordis.

我对给 Thordis 造成巨大伤害的认知。

To be honest,

诚实地说，

I repudiated the entire act in the days afterwards

无论是在事情发生后的那些天， 还是当时，

and when I was committing it.

我否认自己的整个行为。

I disavowed the truth by convincing myself it was sex and not rape.

我说服自己，那是一场性爱而非强奸， 并以此否认事实。

And this is a lie I've felt spine-bending guilt for.

这个谎言，让我承受了巨大的罪恶感。

I broke up with Thordis a couple of days later,

不久之后，我和 Thordis 分了手，

and then saw her a number of times

那年，在冰岛剩下的时间里，

during the remainder of my year in Iceland,

我时常见到她，

每次我都感到异常沉重。

feeling a sharp stab of heavyheartedness each time.

Deep down, I knew I'd done something immeasurably wrong.

内心深处，我知道 我已经犯了无法估量的错误。

But without planning it, I sunk the memories deep,

但是，我并未因此而做些什么，

and then I tied a rock to them.

而是把记忆深深掩埋。

What followed is a nine-year period

接下来的九年，

that can best be titled as "Denial and Running."

可以被称作：“否认和逃避”。

When I got a chance to identify the real torment that I caused,

当我有机会去认识到， 由我引起的真实的痛苦时，

I didn't stand still long enough to do so.

我并没能足够冷静地去面对。

Whether it be via distraction,

无论是通过分散注意力，

滥用药物，

substance use,

thrill-seeking

寻求刺激，

or the scrupulous policing of my inner speak,

或者是，小心谨慎地 关注我内心的想法，

I refused to be static and silent.

我拒绝，保持冷静和沉默。

And with this noise,

除了这个“噪音”之外，

I also drew heavily upon other parts of my life

我还不断地，拼凑我生活中的其他部分，

to construct a picture of who I was.

来解答，“我是谁”这个问题。

I was a surfer,

我是一个冲浪运动员，

a social science student,

一个学习社会科学的学生，

a friend to good people,

一些好人的朋友，

a loved brother and son,

一个被爱着的兄弟和儿子，

an outdoor recreation guide,

一本“户外娱乐指南”，

and eventually, a youth worker.

最终，也是一个青年工作者。

I gripped tight to the simple notion that I wasn't a bad person.

我坚持认为，我并不是一个坏人。

I didn't think I had this in my bones.

我并不认为，我天生就是这样的人。

I thought I was made up of something else.

我想，我本应该是另一个样子。

In my nurtured upbringing,

在对我的培养和教育中，

我充满爱的家人和榜样， 我身边的人们，

my loving extended family and role models,

people close to me were warm and genuine

都尊重女性，

in their respect shown towards women.

对待女性都温暖而真诚。

It took me a long time to stare down this dark corner of myself,

我花了很长时间，才能面对 我自身的这个黑暗角落，

and to ask it questions.

并开始发问。

TE: Nine years after the Christmas dance,

Thordis Elva：圣诞舞会过去9年后，

I was 25 years old,

我25岁，

and headed straight for a nervous breakdown.

并且将要经历一场精神崩溃。

My self-worth was buried under a soul-crushing load of silence

我的自我价值，被埋葬在， 让灵魂不堪重负的寂静之中，

that isolated me from everyone that I cared about,

它把我和我关心的人们隔离开，

and I was consumed with misplaced hatred and anger

我错误地，对自己发泄的怨恨和愤怒，

that I took out on myself.

将我消耗殆尽。

One day, I stormed out of the door in tears

一天，和一位我爱的人发生争执之后，

after a fight with a loved one,

我哭着冲出门去，

and I wandered into a café,

我走进一家咖啡店，

where I asked the waitress for a pen.

找女服务生要了一支笔。

I always had a notebook with me,

我总是带着一个笔记本电脑，

claiming that it was to jot down ideas in moments of inspiration,

声称，是为了捕捉一些灵感的瞬间，

but the truth was that I needed to be constantly fidgeting,

但事实上， 是因为我需要随着都做点什么，

because in moments of stillness,

因为在安静下来的时候，

I found myself counting seconds again.

我发现，我又会开始数秒数。

But that day, I watched in wonder as the words streamed out of my pen,

但那天，我惊讶地发现，

forming the most pivotal letter I've ever written,

我写下了，

给 Tom 的信中，最关键的一封。

addressed to Tom.

Along with an account of the violence that he subjected me to,

在信中，除了描述他曾让我遭受的暴力，

the words, "I want to find forgiveness"

我还写下，“我希望能够宽恕”

stared back at me,

这句话像是盯着我，

surprising nobody more than myself.

我比任何人都感到惊讶。

But deep down I realized that this was my way out of my suffering,

但内心深处，我意识到， 这能够让我从痛苦中解脱，

because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness,

因为，无论他是否值得得到我的宽恕，

I deserved peace.

我值得获得平静。

My era of shame was over.

我这个充满羞耻的时期，已经过去。

Before sending the letter,

发出信件之前，

I prepared myself for all kinds of negative responses,

我设想着，各种可能的消极回复，

or what I found likeliest: no response whatsoever.

或者，我认为最后可能的是，没有回复。

The only outcome that I didn't prepare myself for

我唯一没能预料到的，

was the one that I then got --

是我收到的这封——

a typed confession from Tom, full of disarming regret.

表达忏悔的信，来自 Tom， 满是毫无防备的悔恨。

As it turns out, he, too, had been imprisoned by silence.

事实上，他同样， 也一直被“囚禁”于沉默之中。

And this marked the start of an eight-year-long correspondence

这成了我们之间， 随后一段长达8年时间通信的起点，

that God knows was never easy,

上帝知道，这并不容易，

but always honest.

但我们一直是坦诚的。

I relieved myself of the burdens that I'd wrongfully shouldered,

我卸下了我本不应承担的重负，

and he, in turn, wholeheartedly owned up to what he'd done.

他，同样的，由衷地承认他的所作所为。

Our written exchanges became a platform

我们的书面交流，成了一个平台，

to dissect the consequences of that night,

去剖析，那个晚上对我们的影响，

and they were everything from gut-wrenching

这些交流，有时令人感到极度痛苦，

to healing beyond words.

有时，却也带来超越语言的治愈。

And yet, it didn't bring about closure for me.

但对我而言，一切并未终结。

Perhaps because the email format didn't feel personal enough,

也许，是因为电子邮件的形式， 并不够私人化，

perhaps because it's easy to be brave

也许，是因为躲藏在地球另一边的电脑屏幕前，

when you're hiding behind a computer screen on the other side of the planet.

勇敢，变得容易一些。

But we'd begun a dialogue

但我们开始了一个对话，

that I felt was necessary to explore to its fullest.

我认为，有必要由此来探索所有的可能性。

So, after eight years of writing,

所以，在通信8年之后，

and nearly 16 years after that dire night,

距离那个可怕的夜晚，接近16年之后，

I mustered the courage to propose a wild idea:

我鼓起勇气，提出了一个大胆的想法：

that we'd meet up in person

我们应该见面，

and face our past once and for all.

面对我们的过去，一次性解决。

TS: Iceland and Australia are geographically like this.

TS：冰岛和澳大利亚的地理位置， 像是这样。

In the middle of the two is South Africa.

在两者中间，是南非。

We decided upon the city of Cape Town,

我们决定，在南非的开普敦，

and there we met for one week.

进行一周时间的见面。

The city itself proved to be a stunningly powerful environment

事实证明，这座城市本身， 有着令人惊奇的强大氛围，

to focus on reconciliation and forgiveness.

它能够帮助人们，专注于和解和宽恕。

Nowhere else has healing and rapprochement been tested

没有其他地方像南非一样，

like it has in South Africa.

有着历经检验的治愈力量和友好氛围。

As a nation, South Africa sought to sit within the truth of its past,

作为一个国家，南非面对真实的过去，

and to listen to the details of its history.

尊重历史的细节。

Knowing this only magnified the effect that Cape Town had on us.

了解这些，更是加大了开普敦对我们的影响。

Over the course of this week,

在这一周里，

we literally spoke our life stories to each other,

由始至终，

from start to finish.

我们相互倾诉着，各自生活中的故事。

And this was about analyzing our own history.

这就是，对我们自身过往的分析。

We followed a strict policy of being honest,

我们遵守，严格诚实的规则，

and this also came with a certain exposure,

而这也带来了，一定程度的暴露，

an open-chested vulnerability.

一种因推心置腹，而带来的脆弱感。

There were gutting confessions,

这其中，有深刻的忏悔，

and moments where we just absolutely couldn't fathom

以及，我们绝对无法完全了解的，

the other person's experience.

另一个人所经历的瞬间。

The seismic effects of sexual violence were spoken aloud and felt,

性暴力所带来的巨大影响，

face to face.

被面对面地，表达和感知。

At other times, though,

在其他时间里，

we found a soaring clarity,

一些问题得以快速明晰，

and even some totally unexpected but liberating laughter.

我们甚至会意外地，发出释怀的笑声。

When it came down to it,

实际上，

we did out best to listen to each other intently.

我们尽全力，认真地彼此聆听。

And our individual realities were aired with an unfiltered purity

我们各自的现实生活，像是被纯净的空气，

that couldn't do any less than lighten the soul.

点亮了灵魂。

TE: Wanting to take revenge is a very human emotion --

Thordis Elva：想要报复， 是一种人类非常自然的情绪——

instinctual, even.

甚至，是一种本能。

And all I wanted to do for years

这么多年，我最想做的，

was to hurt Tom back as deeply as he had hurt me.

就是深深地伤害Tom，像他曾伤害我那样。

But had I not found a way out of the hatred and anger,

但是，如果我未曾， 从由此而生的怨恨和愤怒中解脱，

I'm not sure I'd be standing here today.

我不确信，我今天能够站在这里。

That isn't to say that I didn't have my doubts along the way.

那不是说， 这一路上，我不曾有过疑虑。

When the plane bounced on that landing strip in Cape Town,

当飞机降落， 颠簸在开普敦的着陆带上时，

I remember thinking,

我记得，我在想，

"Why did I not just get myself a therapist and a bottle of vodka

“为什么我不像一个正常人会做的那样，

like a normal person would do?"

找一个按摩师，再买一瓶伏特加？”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

At times, our search for understanding in Cape Town

有时，我们在开普敦， 寻求彼此理解这件事，

felt like an impossible quest,

像是一个不可能的探索，

and all I wanted to do was to give up

而我只想放弃，

and go home to my loving husband, Vidir,

回到我亲爱的丈夫 Vidir，

和我们的儿子身边。

and our son.

But despite our difficulties,

尽管，存在困难，

this journey did result in a victorious feeling

但这趟旅程， 的确带来了一种胜利的感受，

that light had triumphed over darkness,

像是光亮战胜了黑暗，

that something constructive could be built out of the ruins.

废墟之中，得以建立一些益处。

I read somewhere

我在某处读到，

that you should try and be the person that you needed when you were younger.

你应当尝试并成为， 你年轻的时候，需要的那个人。

And back when I was a teenager,

当我年少时，

I would have needed to know that the shame wasn't mine,

我本应需要知道，我无需感到羞耻，

that there's hope after rape,

被强奸之后，仍有希望，

that you can even find happiness,

你甚至能够找到幸福，

like I share with my husband today.

像我同我丈夫分享的一样。

Which is why I started writing feverishly upon my return from Cape Town,

因此，从开普敦一回来， 我开始兴奋地写作，

resulting in a book co-authored by Tom,

最终，形成一本和 Tom 共同完成的书，

that we hope can be of use to people from both ends

我们希望这本书，

无论对犯罪者还是幸存者， 都有帮助。

of the perpetrator-survivor scale.

If nothing else,

至少，

it's a story that we would've needed to hear when we were younger.

这也是一个， 在我们年少时，需要去了解的故事。

Given the nature of our story,

考虑到，这个故事的性质，

I know the words that inevitably accompany it --

我知道，有一些词语， 将不可避免地，伴随它——

victim, rapist --

受害人，强奸犯——

and labels are a way to organize concepts,

标签是组织概念的一种方法，

but they can also be dehumanizing in their connotations.

但他们也可能因其内涵，被非人性化。

Once someone's been deemed a victim,

一旦，某人被认定为一个受害人，

it's that much easier to file them away as someone damaged,

他们就更加容易被归类为，被伤害，

dishonored,

遭受羞辱，

less than.

低人一等的。

And likewise, once someone has been branded a rapist,

同样，一旦某人被打上强奸犯的烙印，

it's that much easier to call him a monster --

就更加容易称其为，怪物——

inhuman.

非人类。

But how will we understand what it is in human societies

但是，如果我们拒绝去认识， 犯罪一方的人性之处，

that produces violence

我们如何能够理解，

if we refuse to recognize the humanity of those who commit it?

人类社会中，究竟是什么在制造暴力？

And how --

并且，

（掌声）

(Applause)

And how can we empower survivors if we're making them feel less than?

如果，我们总是让幸存者，觉得自己低人一等， 我们又如何给予他们力量呢？

How can we discuss solutions to one of the biggest threats

如果我们使用的词语，就是问题的一部分，

to the lives of women and children around the world,

面对这个全球范围内， 对妇女和儿童生命的最大威胁之一，

if the very words we use are part of the problem?

我们如何找到解决方案呢？

TS: From what I've now learnt,

Tom Stranger：现在，我已经意识到，

my actions that night in 1996 were a self-centered taking.

1996年那个晚上，我作出的， 是一个以自我为中心的行为。

I felt deserving of Thordis's body.

我认为，我应当得到 Thordis 的身体。

I've had primarily positive social influences

我身边，一直以来， 主要都是积极的社会影响，

and examples of equitable behavior around me.

以及公平作为的例子，

But on that occasion,

但在那个场合，

I chose to draw upon the negative ones.

我却选择利用消极的那些。

The ones that see women as having less intrinsic worth,

它们把女性看做，有（比男性）更少内在价值，

and of men having some unspoken and symbolic claim to their bodies.

认为男性对女性的身体， 有着不言自明、象征性的权利。

These influences I speak of are external to me, though.

尽管，我提到的这些影响， 并不来自我本身。

And it was only me in that room making choices,

但只有我自己， 在那个房间里，作出了选择，

nobody else.

而非其他人。

When you own something

当你拥有一些什么，

and really square up to your culpability,

让你真正地有决心面对罪恶感时，

I do think a surprising thing can happen.

我认为，的确可能发生， 令人惊讶的事情。

It's what I call a paradox of ownership.

这就是我说的，拥有所带来的矛盾。

I thought I'd buckle under the weight of responsibility.

我原以为，我会背负责任的重担。

I thought my certificate of humanity would be burnt.

我原以为，我人性的证明将付之一炬。

Instead, I was offered to really own what I did,

相反，我却被给予机会， 去真正承认我曾做过的事情，

and found that it didn't possess the entirety of who I am.

然后发现，那并不能完整地体现，我是谁。

Put simply,

简单地说，

something you've done doesn't have to constitute the sum of who you are.

你曾做过的事，并不必然会构成你的全部。

The noise in my head abated.

我脑中的噪音变少。

The indulgent self-pity was starved of oxygen,

曾经被放纵的自怨自艾，像是极度缺氧，

and it was replaced with the clean air of acceptance --

而它，却被如清新空气一般的接受，所替代——

an acceptance that I did hurt this wonderful person standing next to me;

接受，我的确伤害了， 站在我身边的这位美好的女性；

an acceptance that I am part of a large and shockingly everyday grouping of men

接受，我同样属于日常生活中， 一直对伴侣有性暴力的、

who have been sexually violent toward their partners.

庞大且令人惊讶的、男性的一员。

Don't underestimate the power of words.

不要低估了，语言的力量。

Saying to Thordis that I raped her changed my accord with myself,

向Thordis承认是我侵犯了她， 改变了我的自我认知，

as well as with her.

也改变了我对她的认知。

But most importantly,

但最重要的，

the blame transferred from Thordis to me.

责备从 Thordis 转向了我。

Far too often,

常见的是，

the responsibility is attributed to female survivors of sexual violence,

性暴力中的责任，被归咎于女性幸存者，

and not to the males who enact it.

而非，作出性暴力行为的男性。

Far too often,

常见的是，

the denial and running leaves all parties at a great distance from the truth.

拒绝和逃避，让各方离真相越来越远。

There's definitely a public conversation happening now,

目前，已经有更多关于此的公众讨论，

and like a lot of people,

像很多人一样，

we're heartened that there's less retreating

由于，大家变得更少逃避， 这一艰难却重要的讨论，

from this difficult but important discussion.

我们，因此得到鼓励。

I feel a real responsibility to add our voices to it.

我感到，有责任加入我们的声音。

TE: What we did is not a formula that we're prescribing for others.

Thordis Elva：我们所做的，不是从他人学来的公式。

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to handle their deepest pain

没有人有权利，告诉任何其他人， 如何处理，内心深处的痛苦，

or their greatest error.

或者是，犯过的，最大的错误。

Breaking your silence is never easy,

打破沉默，总是不容易的，

and depending on where you are in the world,

它取决于，你在这个世界所处的地方，

it can even be deadly to speak out about rape.

在一些地方，可能公开谈及强奸， 甚至会带来致命的后果。

I realize that even the most traumatic event of my life

我意识到，即使是我生命中， 最具创伤性的事件，

is still a testament to my privilege,

仍然，是我拥有特权的证明。

because I can talk about it without getting ostracized,

因为，我能够谈论它，而不会被排斥，

or even killed.

更不会被杀害。

But with that privilege of having a voice

但是，虽然，我拥有这项发声的特权，

comes the responsibility of using it.

随之而来的是，还有使用它的责任。

That's the least I owe my fellow survivors who can't.

这至少是，我能为，和我一样、 却不能发声的幸存者们所做的。

The story we've just relayed is unique,

我们接连讲述的这个故事，是独一无二的，

and yet it is so common with sexual violence being a global pandemic.

但是，在性暴力正成为一个全球性现象的背景下， 又是如此平常。

But it doesn't have to be that way.

但并不一定会如此。

One of the things that I found useful on my own healing journey

在我自己的治愈过程中，我发现一件有用的事，

is educating myself about sexual violence.

就是对性暴力，进行自我教育。

And as a result, I've been reading, writing

事实上，这十多年间，

and speaking about this issue for over a decade now,

我一直在进行， 针对这一话题的阅读、写作和演讲，

going to conferences around the world.

参加全球的各种会议。

And in my experience,

以我的经验看来，

the attendees of such events are almost exclusively women.

这类会议的参会人，大多只有女性。

But it's about time that we stop treating sexual violence as a women's issue.

是时候，我们停止， 把性暴力，只当做一个女性议题了。

(Applause)

（掌声）

A majority of sexual violence against women and men

大多数，针对女性和男性的性暴力，

is perpetrated by men.

是由男性进行。

And yet their voices are sorely underrepresented in this discussion.

在（关于性暴力的）讨论中， 他们的声音却极少出现。

But all of us are needed here.

我们所有人的观点，都是被需要的。

Just imagine all the suffering we could alleviate

设想，如果我们敢于， 共同面对这一问题，

if we dared to face this issue together.

有多少痛苦，可以被缓解。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）