Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: DAISI CHEN

[This talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual violence

（本演講含有性暴力的圖像及描述，

建議觀眾斟酌考量。）

Viewer discretion is advised]

Tom Stranger: In 1996, when I was 18 years old,

湯姆斯特蘭傑： 1996 年，我 18 歲時，

I had the golden opportunity to go on an international exchange program.

我有個絕佳機會能夠參加 一項國際交換學生計畫。

Ironically I'm an Australian who prefers proper icy cold weather,

諷刺的是，我是澳洲人， 卻偏好冰冷的天氣。

so I was both excited and tearful when I got on a plane to Iceland,

因此當我剛跟父母與兄弟告別完，

搭上飛往冰島的飛機， 心情是又興奮又傷心的。

after just having farewelled my parents and brothers goodbye.

I was welcomed into the home of a beautiful Icelandic family

迎接我的是一個美好的冰島家庭，

who took me hiking,

他們帶我去健行，

and helped me get a grasp of the melodic Icelandic language.

並幫助我了解優美的冰島語言。

I struggled a bit with the initial period of homesickness.

我在剛到這裡的時候很想家。

I snowboarded after school,

我在放學後會去滑雪，

and I slept a lot.

而且睡很多覺。

Two hours of chemistry class in a language that you don't yet fully understand

兩個小時的化學課， 用我還無法完全理解的語言來講授，

can be a pretty good sedative.

是種很好的鎮靜劑。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

My teacher recommended I try out for the school play,

我的老師建議我 嘗試學校的戲劇表演，

just to get me a bit more socially active.

只是想讓我在社交上更積極些。

It turns out I didn't end up being part of the play,

最後，我沒有在劇中演出任何角色，

but through it I met Thordis.

但透過這個機緣， 我遇到了索爾蒂絲。

We shared a lovely teenage romance,

我們共渡了浪漫青春，

and we'd meet at lunchtimes to just hold hands

我們在午餐時間見面，手牽手，

and walk around old downtown Reykjavík.

在雷克雅維克的古老鬧區散步。

I met her welcoming family, and she met my friends.

我見了她那熱情的家庭， 她也見了我的朋友。

We'd been in a budding relationship for a bit over a month

我們的萌芽期關係 持續了一個多月時間，

when our school's Christmas Ball was held.

這時學校正要舉辦聖誕舞會。

Thordis Elva: I was 16 and in love for the first time.

索爾蒂絲艾娃： 我當時 16 歲，那是我的初戀。

Going together to the Christmas dance

一起去參加聖誕舞會

was a public confirmation of our relationship,

就是在公開確認我們的關係，

and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

我覺得自己是世界上最幸運的女生。

No longer a child, but a young woman.

我不再是個小女孩， 而是個年輕女子。

High on my newfound maturity,

剛剛轉成熟，我還很興奮，

I felt it was only natural to try drinking rum for the first time that night, too.

我也覺得在那晚第一次嘗試 喝蘭姆酒是很自然的。

That was a bad idea.

那真是個壞主意。

I became very ill,

我變得很不舒服，

drifting in and out of consciousness

在每次突發的嘔吐之間，

in between spasms of convulsive vomiting.

我的意識時而清醒時而恍惚。

The security guards wanted to call me an ambulance,

保全人員想幫我叫救護車，

but Tom acted as my knight in shining armor,

但湯姆扮演起我的白馬王子，

and told them he'd take me home.

他告訴他們，他會帶我回家。

It was like a fairy tale,

就像童話故事一樣，

his strong arms around me,

他強壯的手臂摟著我，

laying me in the safety of my bed.

扶著我直到我安全地躺在床上。

But the gratitude that I felt towards him soon turned to horror

但我對他的感激，很快轉變成恐懼，

as he proceeded to take off my clothes and get on top of me.

因為他開始脫掉我的衣服， 爬到我身上。

My head had cleared up,

我的頭腦清醒了，

but my body was still too weak to fight back,

但我的身體還是太虛弱，無法反擊，

and the pain was blinding.

痛楚讓我視線模糊。

I thought I'd be severed in two.

我覺得我會被撕裂成兩半。

In order to stay sane,

為了保持理智，

I silently counted the seconds on my alarm clock.

我默默地聽著時鐘，計算著每一秒。

And ever since that night,

從那天晚上之後，

I've known that there are 7,200 seconds in two hours.

我就知道了兩小時共有 7200 秒。

Despite limping for days and crying for weeks,

儘管我跛行了好幾天、 哭了好幾週之外，

this incident didn't fit my ideas about rape like I'd seen on TV.

這個事件跟我在電視上 看到的強暴概念並不相符。

Tom wasn't an armed lunatic;

湯姆並不是有武裝的瘋子；

he was my boyfriend.

他是我的男朋友。

And it didn't happen in a seedy alleyway,

且這件事並不是 發生在骯髒的小巷裡，

it happened in my own bed.

而是在我自己的床上。

By the time I could identify what had happened to me as rape,

等到我能確認 我遇到的事就是強暴時，

he had completed his exchange program

他已經完成了交換學生計畫，

and left for Australia.

離開冰島回澳洲。

So I told myself it was pointless to address what had happened.

所以我告訴自己， 再提這件事也沒有意義。

And besides,

此外，

it had to have been my fault, somehow.

不知怎麼的，我總覺得這是我的錯。

I was raised in a world where girls are taught

在我成長的世界中， 女孩們被教導的是，

that they get raped for a reason.

女孩被強暴一定是有理由的。

Their skirt was too short,

一定是她們的裙子太短了，

their smile was too wide,

她們笑容得太大了，

their breath smelled of alcohol.

她們的口氣中有酒精的味道。

And I was guilty of all of those things,

以上這些，我都有罪，

so the shame had to be mine.

所以這羞辱是我罪有應得。

It took me years to realize

我花了好多年才了解，

that only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night,

只有一樣東西能阻止 我在那晚被強暴，

and it wasn't my skirt,

而那東西並不是我的裙子，

it wasn't my smile,

不是我的笑容，

it wasn't my childish trust.

不是我幼稚的信任。

The only thing that could've stopped me from being raped that night

能阻止我在那晚被強暴的，

is the man who raped me --

只有強暴我的男人，

had he stopped himself.

如果他能制止他自己。

TS: I have vague memories of the next day:

湯姆：我隔天的記憶很模糊：

the after effects of drinking,

這是喝酒的後果，

a certain hollowness that I tried to stifle.

是我試圖抑止的一種空虛感。

Nothing more.

其他什麼都沒有。

But I didn't show up at Thordis's door.

但我沒有去索爾蒂絲家找她。

It is important to now state

現在，很重要的是要說明，

that I didn't see my deed for what it was.

我當時並不清楚自己做的是什麼。

The word "rape" didn't echo around my mind as it should've,

「強暴」這個詞並沒有在 我腦中迴盪，雖然它應該要。

and I wasn't crucifying myself with memories of the night before.

而我也沒有因前晚的記憶 而嚴厲斥責我自己。

It wasn't so much a conscious refusal,

它不太像是一種有意識的拒絕，

it was more like any acknowledgment of reality was forbidden.

比較像是…承認現實是被禁止的。

My definition of my actions completely refuted any recognition

我對我的行為所做的定義， 可說是完全否認了

我對索爾蒂絲造成的巨大創傷。

of the immense trauma I caused Thordis.

To be honest,

老實說，

I repudiated the entire act in the days afterwards

在之後的日子裡， 我拒絕承認這個行為，

and when I was committing it.

在我做出這件事的當下也拒絕承認。

I disavowed the truth by convincing myself it was sex and not rape.

我說服自己，那是性愛而非強暴， 用這方式來否認真相。

And this is a lie I've felt spine-bending guilt for.

而這是個謊言，讓我一直 感到極度罪惡的謊言。

I broke up with Thordis a couple of days later,

幾天之後我跟索爾蒂絲分手了，

and then saw her a number of times

我在冰鳥的那年，

during the remainder of my year in Iceland,

後來還見過她幾次。

feeling a sharp stab of heavyheartedness each time.

每次見到她，都感悲哀的銳利一刺。

Deep down, I knew I'd done something immeasurably wrong.

在內心深處， 我知道我犯下了極大的錯誤。

But without planning it, I sunk the memories deep,

但我沒有刻意計畫， 就自動讓記憶沉入心底，

and then I tied a rock to them.

還將它綁在一顆大石頭上。

What followed is a nine-year period

接下來的九年，

that can best be titled as "Denial and Running."

最適合被稱為「否認和逃跑」期。

When I got a chance to identify the real torment that I caused,

當我有機會可以去確認 我造成的巨大痛苦時，

I didn't stand still long enough to do so.

我卻選擇逃走而不去確認。

Whether it be via distraction,

不管是透過什麼方式，如分散注意力、

substance use,

使用違禁品、

thrill-seeking

尋求刺激，

or the scrupulous policing of my inner speak,

或謹慎守好我內在的舵輪，

I refused to be static and silent.

我拒絕保持靜止和沉默。

And with this noise,

因為有這雜音，

I also drew heavily upon other parts of my life

我更深深仰賴我生活中的其他部分，

to construct a picture of who I was.

來建構出我是誰的形象。

I was a surfer,

我曾是衝浪客、

a social science student,

社會科學學生、

a friend to good people,

一些好人的朋友、

a loved brother and son,

被愛的兄弟和兒子、

an outdoor recreation guide,

戶外活動指導員，

and eventually, a youth worker.

最終，成了服務青年的社會工作者。

I gripped tight to the simple notion that I wasn't a bad person.

我緊緊抓住 「我不是壞人」的簡單想法。

I didn't think I had this in my bones.

我不認為這是我的本性。

I thought I was made up of something else.

我認為我的本性是其他東西。

In my nurtured upbringing,

在我被養育長大的過程中，

my loving extended family and role models,

我慈愛的家人跟典範，

people close to me were warm and genuine

跟我很親的人在對女性展現尊重時

in their respect shown towards women.

都很溫暖真誠。

It took me a long time to stare down this dark corner of myself,

我花了很長一段時間，才敢 正視我自己的這個黑暗角落，

and to ask it questions.

對它問問題。

TE: Nine years after the Christmas dance,

索：聖誕節舞會的九年後，

I was 25 years old,

我二十五歲，

and headed straight for a nervous breakdown.

直直朝精神崩潰邁進。

My self-worth was buried under a soul-crushing load of silence

我的自我價值被埋在 足以壓碎靈魂的沈默重擔之下，

that isolated me from everyone that I cared about,

這在我跟我關心的 每個人之間建立了隔閡，

and I was consumed with misplaced hatred and anger

我對自己感到憎恨和憤怒，

that I took out on myself.

而這弄錯對象的 憎恨和憤怒吞噬著我。

One day, I stormed out of the door in tears

有一天，我哭著衝出門，

after a fight with a loved one,

因為我跟我愛的人吵了一架，

and I wandered into a café,

我晃到了一間咖啡廳，

where I asked the waitress for a pen.

在那裡我跟女服務生要了一支筆。

I always had a notebook with me,

我都會隨身著筆記本，

claiming that it was to jot down ideas in moments of inspiration,

宣稱它是用來快速記下乍現的靈光，

but the truth was that I needed to be constantly fidgeting,

但事實是，我需要保持 坐立不安的狀態，

because in moments of stillness,

因為在靜止的時刻，

I found myself counting seconds again.

我發現我又會開始數秒數。

But that day, I watched in wonder as the words streamed out of my pen,

但，那天，我驚奇地看著 我筆下揮灑出的文字，

forming the most pivotal letter I've ever written,

形成了我所寫過最關鍵性的一封信，

addressed to Tom.

收件人是湯姆。

Along with an account of the violence that he subjected me to,

內容描述他讓我遭受的暴力，

the words, "I want to find forgiveness"

「我想找到寬恕」這幾個字

stared back at me,

回望著我，

surprising nobody more than myself.

沒有人比我更驚訝了。

But deep down I realized that this was my way out of my suffering,

但內心深處，我知道 這是我脫離苦難的路，

because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness,

因為不論他是否應該得到我的寬恕，

I deserved peace.

我都應該得到平靜。

My era of shame was over.

我的羞愧時期結束了。

Before sending the letter,

寄出這封信之前，

I prepared myself for all kinds of negative responses,

我讓自己準備好 面對各種可能的負面回應，

or what I found likeliest: no response whatsoever.

或最有可能的情況：沒有回應。

The only outcome that I didn't prepare myself for

只有一個結果是我沒準備要面對的，

was the one that I then got --

它卻發生了。

a typed confession from Tom, full of disarming regret.

湯姆用打字回覆的自白信， 內容盡是悔恨，讓我的氣都消了。

As it turns out, he, too, had been imprisoned by silence.

結果發現，他也一直 被沈默給禁錮著。

And this marked the start of an eight-year-long correspondence

這開始了一段長達 八年之久的書信往來，

that God knows was never easy,

天知道這一點也不容易，

but always honest.

但永遠要誠實。

I relieved myself of the burdens that I'd wrongfully shouldered,

我放下了我誤扛起的重擔，

and he, in turn, wholeheartedly owned up to what he'd done.

而他，則全心全意坦承他所做的事。

Our written exchanges became a platform

我們的書面交流成了一個平台，

to dissect the consequences of that night,

用來仔細分析那晚的後果，

and they were everything from gut-wrenching

所有的後果都談了，從摧心裂肝

to healing beyond words.

到文字無法形容的療癒。

And yet, it didn't bring about closure for me.

然而，它並沒有為我 將此事畫上句點。

Perhaps because the email format didn't feel personal enough,

或許是因為我覺得電子郵件的形式 沒有足夠的親身感，

perhaps because it's easy to be brave

或許是因為當你身在地球的另一端

when you're hiding behind a computer screen on the other side of the planet.

躲在電腦後面時， 要表現勇敢是比較容易的。

But we'd begun a dialogue

但我們開始了對話，

that I felt was necessary to explore to its fullest.

我認為若要充分探索這件事， 這種對話是必要的。

So, after eight years of writing,

所以，通信八年之後，

and nearly 16 years after that dire night,

也就是那可怕夜晚的約十六年之後，

I mustered the courage to propose a wild idea:

我鼓起勇氣，提出一個狂野的想法：

that we'd meet up in person

讓我們親自見面，

and face our past once and for all.

一勞永逸面對我們的過去。

TS: Iceland and Australia are geographically like this.

湯：冰島和澳洲在 地理上的位置就像這樣。

In the middle of the two is South Africa.

兩個國家的中間是南非。

We decided upon the city of Cape Town,

我們決定選擇開普敦，

and there we met for one week.

在那裡碰面一週。

The city itself proved to be a stunningly powerful environment

事實證明，若想要 專注在和解和寬恕，

to focus on reconciliation and forgiveness.

這座城市是個極強大的環境。

Nowhere else has healing and rapprochement been tested

沒有其他地方像南非這樣，

和解和調解都經過了如此的測試。

like it has in South Africa.

As a nation, South Africa sought to sit within the truth of its past,

就一個國家而言，南非尋求的 是面對過去的真相，

and to listen to the details of its history.

並傾聽其歷史的種種細節。

Knowing this only magnified the effect that Cape Town had on us.

知道這一點，只是放大了 開普敦對我們的影響。

Over the course of this week,

在這一週的過程中，

we literally spoke our life stories to each other,

我們真的跟彼此分享了 自己的人生故事，

from start to finish.

從頭到尾都分享了。

And this was about analyzing our own history.

重點是在分析我們自己的歷史。

We followed a strict policy of being honest,

我們遵守一條嚴格的政策：要誠實。

and this also came with a certain exposure,

這就會伴隨著某些事實的揭露，

an open-chested vulnerability.

打開心胸，不再隱藏自己的脆弱。

There were gutting confessions,

過程有著發自深處的懺悔，

and moments where we just absolutely couldn't fathom

有些時候，我們就是怎樣都無法

理解對方所經歷的。

the other person's experience.

The seismic effects of sexual violence were spoken aloud and felt,

性暴力的重大影響被 大聲說出來、被感受到了，

face to face.

且是面對面的情況下。

At other times, though,

不過，其他時候，

we found a soaring clarity,

我們的思想變得相當清楚，

and even some totally unexpected but liberating laughter.

甚至會解放地有說有笑， 這完全不在預期之中。

When it came down to it,

談到這件事時，

we did out best to listen to each other intently.

我們都盡自己的力， 專心傾聽了彼此。

And our individual realities were aired with an unfiltered purity

未被過濾的純淨， 暢通了我們個別的現實，

that couldn't do any less than lighten the soul.

這純淨點亮了我們的靈魂。

TE: Wanting to take revenge is a very human emotion --

索：想要報復是人都會有的情緒，

instinctual, even.

甚至可以說是本能。

And all I wanted to do for years

多年來，我一直想做的是

was to hurt Tom back as deeply as he had hurt me.

用同樣重傷的方式來回敬他。

But had I not found a way out of the hatred and anger,

但若我當初沒有找到方式 擺脫憎恨及憤怒，

I'm not sure I'd be standing here today.

我不確定今天我是否會站在這裡。

That isn't to say that I didn't have my doubts along the way.

那並不是說我一路走來 都沒有懷疑過。

When the plane bounced on that landing strip in Cape Town,

但當飛機顛簸地降落在開普敦時，

I remember thinking,

我記得我那時在想，

"Why did I not just get myself a therapist and a bottle of vodka

「我為何不跟正常人一樣， 找個心理治療師跟

一瓶伏特加就好了？」

like a normal person would do?"

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

At times, our search for understanding in Cape Town

有時，我們在開普敦尋求了解的過程

felt like an impossible quest,

感覺就像是趟不可能的追尋。

and all I wanted to do was to give up

而我所想做的就只有放棄，

and go home to my loving husband, Vidir,

然後回家，回到珍愛我的老公維德

and our son.

及我們的兒子身邊。

But despite our difficulties,

但儘管我們遇到困難，

this journey did result in a victorious feeling

這趟旅程確造成了一種凱旋的感覺，

that light had triumphed over darkness,

光明戰勝了黑暗的感覺，

that something constructive could be built out of the ruins.

在斷垣殘壁中也能建造出 有建設性的東西。

I read somewhere

我在某處讀到的：

that you should try and be the person that you needed when you were younger.

你應該試著成為 你過去需要的那個人。

And back when I was a teenager,

在我還是青少女時，

I would have needed to know that the shame wasn't mine,

其實我當時很需要知道的是： 該羞恥的人不是我，

that there's hope after rape,

在強暴之後仍然有希望，

that you can even find happiness,

你甚至可以找幸福，

like I share with my husband today.

就像我現在跟老公之間的幸福。

Which is why I started writing feverishly upon my return from Cape Town,

這就是為何從開普敦回來後， 我就開始狂熱地寫作，

resulting in a book co-authored by Tom,

產物就是我和湯姆 共同寫出的一本書，

that we hope can be of use to people from both ends

我們希望在「行兇者－倖存者」

of the perpetrator-survivor scale.

天平兩端的人， 都可以用得到這本書。

If nothing else,

如果不是別的，

it's a story that we would've needed to hear when we were younger.

這本書至少是我們更早先時 應該要聽到的故事。

Given the nature of our story,

因為我們這個故事的本質，

I know the words that inevitably accompany it --

我知道會有些無法避免用到的字眼

victim, rapist --

──受害者、強暴犯──

and labels are a way to organize concepts,

貼上這些標籤是可以 整理概念的一種方式，

but they can also be dehumanizing in their connotations.

但它們背後的暗示 也可能導致人性的喪失。

Once someone's been deemed a victim,

一旦某個人被視為是受害者時，

it's that much easier to file them away as someone damaged,

就很容易將他歸類為受損的人、

dishonored,

不名譽的人、

less than.

比較差的人。

And likewise, once someone has been branded a rapist,

同樣，一旦某個人被 冠上強暴犯的污名，

it's that much easier to call him a monster --

就很容易可以稱他為怪物，

inhuman.

毫無人性。

But how will we understand what it is in human societies

但我們怎會知道，在人類的社會中，

that produces violence

是什麼造成暴力的，

if we refuse to recognize the humanity of those who commit it?

如果我們拒絕承認 這些犯罪者也是有人性的？

And how --

我們如何

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And how can we empower survivors if we're making them feel less than?

如果我們讓倖存者覺得一文不值， 該如何給予他們自主權？

How can we discuss solutions to one of the biggest threats

我們如何能討論要用什麼方式來解決

to the lives of women and children around the world,

全世界女性和孩童在生活中 面臨的最大威脅之一，

if the very words we use are part of the problem?

如果我們自己使用的字詞 本身就是問題的一部分？

TS: From what I've now learnt,

湯：根據我所學到的，

my actions that night in 1996 were a self-centered taking.

1996 年那晚，我的行為 是自我中心使然，

I felt deserving of Thordis's body.

我覺得索爾蒂絲的身體 本來就該是我的。

I've had primarily positive social influences

我身邊接觸到的 通常都是正面的社會影響，

and examples of equitable behavior around me.

以及公正行為的榜樣。

But on that occasion,

但在那個場合，

I chose to draw upon the negative ones.

我做了負面的選擇。

The ones that see women as having less intrinsic worth,

我選擇看輕女性的內在價值，

and of men having some unspoken and symbolic claim to their bodies.

認為男性對於女性的身體， 有著心照不宣跟象徵性的所有權。

These influences I speak of are external to me, though.

不過，我說的這些影響 對我而言都是外在影響。

And it was only me in that room making choices,

在那個房間中， 只有我是能做選擇的人，

nobody else.

只有我。

When you own something

當你擁有某樣東西，

and really square up to your culpability,

且能真正果敢地面對 應承擔的罪責時，

I do think a surprising thing can happen.

我確實相信驚人的事 是有可能發生的。

It's what I call a paradox of ownership.

這就是我所謂的所有權矛盾。

I thought I'd buckle under the weight of responsibility.

我以為責任的重量會讓我垮掉。

I thought my certificate of humanity would be burnt.

我以為我的人性證書會被燒掉。

Instead, I was offered to really own what I did,

取而代之，我得以 真正承認我的行為，

and found that it didn't possess the entirety of who I am.

我發現它不能支配全部的我。

Put simply,

簡單來說，

something you've done doesn't have to constitute the sum of who you are.

你所做的某件事， 不見得就會構成全部的你。

The noise in my head abated.

我腦中的雜音減少了。

The indulgent self-pity was starved of oxygen,

放縱的自憐面臨到氧氣不足，

and it was replaced with the clean air of acceptance --

接受的新鮮空氣取代了它。

an acceptance that I did hurt this wonderful person standing next to me;

接受我確實傷害過現在 站在我身邊的這個好人；

an acceptance that I am part of a large and shockingly everyday grouping of men

接受每天都有相當 一大群男人和我一樣，

who have been sexually violent toward their partners.

曾經對他們的伴侶有過性暴力行為。

Don't underestimate the power of words.

不要低估了言語的力量。

Saying to Thordis that I raped her changed my accord with myself,

我對索爾蒂絲說我強暴了她， 這麼做改變了我和我自己的和諧，

as well as with her.

以及我和她的和諧。

But most importantly,

但最重要的是，

the blame transferred from Thordis to me.

責備從索爾蒂絲身上轉移到我身上。

Far too often,

太常見的狀況是，

the responsibility is attributed to female survivors of sexual violence,

責任會被歸給 性暴力下的女性倖存者，

and not to the males who enact it.

而非進行性暴力的男性。

Far too often,

太常見的狀況是，

the denial and running leaves all parties at a great distance from the truth.

否認跟逃走，會讓各方都遠離真相。

There's definitely a public conversation happening now,

現在肯定有一場公開的 對話正在進行中，

and like a lot of people,

和很多人一樣，

we're heartened that there's less retreating

如果能知道逃避困難的狀況

from this difficult but important discussion.

漸被重要的討論取代， 我們會很高興。

I feel a real responsibility to add our voices to it.

我覺得我有責任要把 我們的聲音也加上去。

TE: What we did is not a formula that we're prescribing for others.

索：我們在做的並不是 開處方籤給其他人。

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to handle their deepest pain

沒有人有權利告訴別人 怎麼處理他們最深的傷痛

or their greatest error.

或這他們最大的錯誤。

Breaking your silence is never easy,

打破你的沈默從來就不是易事，

and depending on where you are in the world,

看你身在世界的何處，

it can even be deadly to speak out about rape.

在某些地方，連說出強暴 都可能是致命的。

I realize that even the most traumatic event of my life

我了解到，即使是我人生中 最創傷性的事件，

is still a testament to my privilege,

仍舊證明了我的特權，

because I can talk about it without getting ostracized,

因為我可以談這件事， 卻不用擔心被放逐

or even killed.

或甚至被殺害。

But with that privilege of having a voice

但有發聲的特權，

comes the responsibility of using it.

也就表示有使用這項特權的責任。

That's the least I owe my fellow survivors who can't.

這至少也是我欠其他 無法發聲的性侵倖存者的。

The story we've just relayed is unique,

我們剛剛講的故事是獨一無二的，

and yet it is so common with sexual violence being a global pandemic.

然而，在性暴力全球普遍的情況下， 這故事卻又是如此常見。

But it doesn't have to be that way.

但其實並非別無他法。

One of the things that I found useful on my own healing journey

在我自己的療癒旅程中， 我發現一些有用的方式，

is educating myself about sexual violence.

其一就是提供性暴力的教育給我自己。

And as a result, I've been reading, writing

結果是，我已經針對這個議題，

and speaking about this issue for over a decade now,

持續相關的閱讀、寫作、 談論，超過十年之久。

going to conferences around the world.

到世界各地參加會議。

And in my experience,

根據我的經驗，

the attendees of such events are almost exclusively women.

這類活動的與會者絕大多數是女性。

But it's about time that we stop treating sexual violence as a women's issue.

但，該是停止把性暴力 當作女性議題來看待的時候了。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

A majority of sexual violence against women and men

大部分針對女性及男性 所犯下的性暴力，

is perpetrated by men.

都是由男性犯下的。

And yet their voices are sorely underrepresented in this discussion.

然而，在這類討論中， 卻十分缺乏他們的聲音。

But all of us are needed here.

但，這需要我們所有人的參與。

Just imagine all the suffering we could alleviate

想像一下，如果我們敢 一起面對這個議題，

if we dared to face this issue together.

將能緩解多少痛苦。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）