Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger

Translator: Helena Martinez Reviewer: Anna Comas-Quinn

[This talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual violence

[Conté llenguatge explícit i descripcions de violència sexual.

S'aconsella la discreció de l'espectador]

Viewer discretion is advised]

Tom Stranger: In 1996, when I was 18 years old,

Tom Stranger: El 1996, quan tenia 18 anys,

I had the golden opportunity to go on an international exchange program.

vaig tenir l'oportunitat de formar part d'un programa d'intercanvi internacional

Ironically I'm an Australian who prefers proper icy cold weather,

Irònicament soc un australià que prefereix un clima fred

so I was both excited and tearful when I got on a plane to Iceland,

així que estava emocionat i trist quan vaig pujar a l'avió cap a Islàndia,

after just having farewelled my parents and brothers goodbye.

després d'haver dit adéu als meus pares i germans.

I was welcomed into the home of a beautiful Icelandic family

Vaig ser acollit a casa d'una família islandesa molt amable

who took me hiking,

que em va portar a fer excursionisme,

and helped me get a grasp of the melodic Icelandic language.

i em va ajudar a entendre la llengua islandesa.

I struggled a bit with the initial period of homesickness.

Em va costar una mica superar el període inicial d'enyorança.

I snowboarded after school,

Feia snowboard després de classe

and I slept a lot.

i dormia molt.

Two hours of chemistry class in a language that you don't yet fully understand

Dues hores de classe de química en una llengua que no comprens massa

can be a pretty good sedative.

poden ser un bon sedant.

(Laughter)

(Riure)

My teacher recommended I try out for the school play,

El professor em va recomanar l'obra de teatre de l'escola,

just to get me a bit more socially active.

perquè fos socialment més actiu.

It turns out I didn't end up being part of the play,

Resulta que al final no vaig participar a l'obra,

but through it I met Thordis.

però em va dur a conèixer la Thordis.

We shared a lovely teenage romance,

Vam compartir un romanç adolescent;

and we'd meet at lunchtimes to just hold hands

ens trobàvem a l'hora de dinar només per donar-nos la mà

and walk around old downtown Reykjavík.

i passejar pel centre de Reykjavík.

I met her welcoming family, and she met my friends.

Vaig conèixer la seva família, i ella va conèixer els meus amics.

We'd been in a budding relationship for a bit over a month

La nostra relació havia durat una mica més d'un mes

when our school's Christmas Ball was held.

quan va arribar el Ball de Nadal de l'escola.

Thordis Elva: I was 16 and in love for the first time.

Thordis Elva: Tenia 16 anys quan em vaig enamorar per primer cop

Going together to the Christmas dance

Anar junts al Ball de Nadal

was a public confirmation of our relationship,

era una confirmació pública de la nostra relació,

and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

i em vaig sentir la noia més afortunada del món.

No longer a child, but a young woman.

Deixava de ser una nena, per començar a ser una dona.

High on my newfound maturity,

Emocionada per aquesta maduresa,

I felt it was only natural to try drinking rum for the first time that night, too.

em va semblar lògic provar el rom per primer cop aquella nit.

That was a bad idea.

Va ser una mala idea.

I became very ill,

Em vaig trobar molt malament,

drifting in and out of consciousness

entrant i sortint de la inconsciència

in between spasms of convulsive vomiting.

entre espasmes i vòmits compulsius.

The security guards wanted to call me an ambulance,

Els guardes de seguretat volien trucar una ambulància,

but Tom acted as my knight in shining armor,

però en Tom va actuar com el meu cavaller salvador,

and told them he'd take me home.

i va dir que em portaria a casa.

It was like a fairy tale,

Com en un conte de fades,

his strong arms around me,

rodejada pels seus braços,

laying me in the safety of my bed.

que em van dipositar dolçament al meu llit.

But the gratitude that I felt towards him soon turned to horror

Però la meva gratitud aviat es va tornar en horror

as he proceeded to take off my clothes and get on top of me.

quan va començar a treure'm la roba i a posar-se a sobre meu.

My head had cleared up,

Se m'havia aclarit el cap,

but my body was still too weak to fight back,

però el meu cos encara estava massa dèbil per lluitar,

and the pain was blinding.

i el dolor era horrorós.

I thought I'd be severed in two.

Pensava que em partiria en dos.

In order to stay sane,

Per no tornar-me boja,

I silently counted the seconds on my alarm clock.

vaig comptar en silenci els segons del meu despertador.

And ever since that night,

I des d'aquella nit,

I've known that there are 7,200 seconds in two hours.

sé que hi ha 7.200 segons en dues hores.

Despite limping for days and crying for weeks,

Tot i coixejar durant dies i plorar durant setmanes,

this incident didn't fit my ideas about rape like I'd seen on TV.

l'incident no coincidia amb la idea de violació que havia vist a la tele.

Tom wasn't an armed lunatic;

En Tom no era un llunàtic amb un arma;

he was my boyfriend.

era la meva parella.

And it didn't happen in a seedy alleyway,

I no va passar en un carreró de mala mort,

it happened in my own bed.

va passar al meu propi llit.

By the time I could identify what had happened to me as rape,

Quan vaig poder identificar el que m'havia passat com a violació,

he had completed his exchange program

ell havia completat l'intercanvi

and left for Australia.

i havia tornat a Austràlia.

So I told myself it was pointless to address what had happened.

Em vaig dir que no tenia sentit parlar del que havia passat.

And besides,

A més a més,

it had to have been my fault, somehow.

d'alguna manera, havia de ser culpa meva.

I was raised in a world where girls are taught

He crescut en un món on s'ensenya a les noies

that they get raped for a reason.

que les violen per algun motiu.

Their skirt was too short,

Faldilles massa curtes,

their smile was too wide,

somriures massa amplis,

their breath smelled of alcohol.

L'alè que put a alcohol.

And I was guilty of all of those things,

I jo era culpable de tot això,

so the shame had to be mine.

així que la culpa havia de ser meva.

It took me years to realize

Vaig trigar anys a adonar-me

that only one thing could have stopped me from being raped that night,

que l'únic que podria haver impedit que fos violada aquella nit,

and it wasn't my skirt,

no era la meva faldilla,

it wasn't my smile,

no era el meu somriure,

it wasn't my childish trust.

no era la meva innocència.

The only thing that could've stopped me from being raped that night

L'únic que podria haver impedit que fos violada aquella nit

is the man who raped me --

era l'home que em va violar --

had he stopped himself.

si s'hagués aturat.

TS: I have vague memories of the next day:

TS: No recordo molt bé el dia següent:

the after effects of drinking,

la ressaca,

a certain hollowness that I tried to stifle.

un cert buit que vaig tractar d'ofegar.

Nothing more.

Res més.

But I didn't show up at Thordis's door.

Però no vaig anar a casa de la Thordis.

It is important to now state

És important remarcar

that I didn't see my deed for what it was.

que no veia les meves accions pel que eren.

The word "rape" didn't echo around my mind as it should've,

La paraula "violació" no em ressonava al cap com hauria d'haver fet,

and I wasn't crucifying myself with memories of the night before.

i no em vaig martiritzar amb els records de la nit anterior.

It wasn't so much a conscious refusal,

No era tant un rebuig conscient,

it was more like any acknowledgment of reality was forbidden.

com una prohibició de reconèixer la realitat.

My definition of my actions completely refuted any recognition

La definició de les meves accions refutava completament reconèixer

of the immense trauma I caused Thordis.

l'immens trauma que vaig causar a la Thordis.

To be honest,

Per ser sincer,

I repudiated the entire act in the days afterwards

vaig repudiar les meves accions els dies següents

and when I was committing it.

i quan les vaig cometre.

I disavowed the truth by convincing myself it was sex and not rape.

Vaig rebutjar la veritat convencent-me que va ser sexe i no violació.

And this is a lie I've felt spine-bending guilt for.

Una mentida que m'ha causat un dolor insuportable.

I broke up with Thordis a couple of days later,

Vaig trencar amb ella uns dies després,

and then saw her a number of times

la vaig veure diverses vegades

during the remainder of my year in Iceland,

durant la resta de la meva estada a Islàndia,

feeling a sharp stab of heavyheartedness each time.

sentint una punyalada de remordiment cada vegada.

Deep down, I knew I'd done something immeasurably wrong.

En el fons, sabia que havia fet una cosa immesurablement horrible.

But without planning it, I sunk the memories deep,

Però sense planejar-ho, vaig cavar una gran fossa

and then I tied a rock to them.

on vaig enterrar aquests records.

What followed is a nine-year period

Va seguir un període de 9 anys

that can best be titled as "Denial and Running."

que es pot descriure com a "Negació i Fugida".

When I got a chance to identify the real torment that I caused,

Quan tenia l'oportunitat d'identificar el turment que havia causat,

I didn't stand still long enough to do so.

no em quedava quiet per reflexionar.

Whether it be via distraction,

Ja fos a través de distraccions,

substance use,

consum de substàncies,

thrill-seeking

recerca d'emocions

or the scrupulous policing of my inner speak,

o una vigilància escrupolosa del que deia el meu interior,

I refused to be static and silent.

em vaig negar a quedar-me quiet i callat.

And with this noise,

I amb aquest soroll,

I also drew heavily upon other parts of my life

em vaig inspirar en altres parts de la meva vida

to construct a picture of who I was.

per a construir una imatge de qui era.

I was a surfer,

Era un surfista,

a social science student,

un estudiant de ciències socials,

a friend to good people,

amic de bona gent,

a loved brother and son,

un germà i fill estimat,

an outdoor recreation guide,

guia d'activitats a l'aire lliure,

and eventually, a youth worker.

i amb el temps, treballador social amb joves.

I gripped tight to the simple notion that I wasn't a bad person.

M'aferrava al fet que no era mala persona.

I didn't think I had this in my bones.

No creia que ho tingués a dins.

I thought I was made up of something else.

Creia que estava fet d'una altra cosa.

In my nurtured upbringing,

Com m'havien criat,

my loving extended family and role models,

la meva estimada família i models a seguir,

people close to me were warm and genuine

les persones properes a mi

in their respect shown towards women.

eren respectuoses amb les dones.

It took me a long time to stare down this dark corner of myself,

Vaig trigar molt a poder mirar aquest racó fosc de mi mateix,

and to ask it questions.

i preguntar-li coses.

TE: Nine years after the Christmas dance,

TE: Nou anys després del ball de Nadal,

I was 25 years old,

tenia 25 anys,

and headed straight for a nervous breakdown.

i anava directa a una crisi nerviosa.

My self-worth was buried under a soul-crushing load of silence

La meva autoestima havia estat enterrada sota un silenci profund

that isolated me from everyone that I cared about,

que m'aïllava de les persones que m'importaven,

and I was consumed with misplaced hatred and anger

i em comsumia l'odi i la ira

that I took out on myself.

que dirigia cap a mi mateixa.

One day, I stormed out of the door in tears

Un dia, vaig sortir corrent, plorant,

after a fight with a loved one,

després d'una baralla amb un ésser estimat,

and I wandered into a café,

i vaig entrar en una cafeteria,

where I asked the waitress for a pen.

on vaig demanar un bolígraf a la cambrera.

I always had a notebook with me,

Sempre porto una llibreta a sobre,

claiming that it was to jot down ideas in moments of inspiration,

dic que es per apuntar idees en moments d'inspiració,

but the truth was that I needed to be constantly fidgeting,

però la veritat és que necessito estar fent alguna cosa constantment,

because in moments of stillness,

perquè en moments de calma,

I found myself counting seconds again.

em trobo comptant segons una altra vegada.

But that day, I watched in wonder as the words streamed out of my pen,

Però aquell dia, em va sorprendre com les paraules brollaven del bolígraf,

forming the most pivotal letter I've ever written,

formant la carta més important que havia escrit mai,

addressed to Tom.

dirigida a en Tom.

Along with an account of the violence that he subjected me to,

A més d'explicar la violència a la que m'havia sotmès,

the words, "I want to find forgiveness"

les paraules "vull trobar perdó"

stared back at me,

no deixaven de mirar-me,

surprising nobody more than myself.

sorprenent-me a mi més que a ningú.

But deep down I realized that this was my way out of my suffering,

Però en el fons sabia que era l'única manera de deixar de patir,

because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness,

perquè, independentment de si es mereixia el meu perdó o no,

I deserved peace.

jo mereixia pau.

My era of shame was over.

La meva era de vergonya s'havia acabat.

Before sending the letter,

Abans d'enviar la carta,

I prepared myself for all kinds of negative responses,

em vaig preparar per diferents tipus de respostes negatives,

or what I found likeliest: no response whatsoever.

o el més probable: cap resposta.

The only outcome that I didn't prepare myself for

L'única resposta per a la qual no estava preparada

was the one that I then got --

va ser la que vaig rebre --

a typed confession from Tom, full of disarming regret.

una confessió d'en Tom, plena de penediment.

As it turns out, he, too, had been imprisoned by silence.

Resulta que ell també havia estat empresonat pel silenci.

And this marked the start of an eight-year-long correspondence

I així va començar una correspondència que va durar 8 anys,

that God knows was never easy,

que sap Déu, no va ser mai fàcil,

but always honest.

però sempre honesta.

I relieved myself of the burdens that I'd wrongfully shouldered,

Em vaig alleujar la càrrega que erròniament m'havia adjudicat,

and he, in turn, wholeheartedly owned up to what he'd done.

i ell, alhora, va admetre el que havia fet.

Our written exchanges became a platform

Aquests intercanvis es van convertir en una plataforma

to dissect the consequences of that night,

per examinar les conseqüències d'aquella nit,

and they were everything from gut-wrenching

i van ser de tot: des de esfereïdores

to healing beyond words.

fins a immensament reparadores.

And yet, it didn't bring about closure for me.

Tot i així, jo no podia superar el que havia passat.

Perhaps because the email format didn't feel personal enough,

Potser perquè el format d'email no era suficientment personal,

perhaps because it's easy to be brave

potser perquè es més fàcil ser valent

when you're hiding behind a computer screen on the other side of the planet.

quan t'amagues darrere d'un ordinador a l'altra punta del món.

But we'd begun a dialogue

Però havíem començat un diàleg

that I felt was necessary to explore to its fullest.

que sentia necessari explorar al màxim.

So, after eight years of writing,

Així que, després de vuit anys escrivint,

and nearly 16 years after that dire night,

i 16 anys després d'aquella terrible nit,

I mustered the courage to propose a wild idea:

vaig reunir el coratge per a proposar una idea:

that we'd meet up in person

que ens reuníssim en persona

and face our past once and for all.

i afrontéssim el passat d'una vegada.

TS: Iceland and Australia are geographically like this.

TS: Islàndia i Austràlia estan geogràficament així.

In the middle of the two is South Africa.

Enmig dels dos hi ha Sud-Àfrica.

We decided upon the city of Cape Town,

Vam decidir trobar-nos a Ciutat del Cap,

and there we met for one week.

on ens vam trobar durant una setmana.

The city itself proved to be a stunningly powerful environment

La ciutat en si va resultar ser un context molt potent

to focus on reconciliation and forgiveness.

per centrar-nos en la reconciliació i el perdó.

Nowhere else has healing and rapprochement been tested

Enlloc més s'ha provat la reparació i l'acostament

like it has in South Africa.

com a Sud-Àfrica.

As a nation, South Africa sought to sit within the truth of its past,

Com a nació, Sud-Àfrica va buscar la veritat del seu passat,

and to listen to the details of its history.

i va escoltar els detalls de la seva història.

Knowing this only magnified the effect that Cape Town had on us.

Sabent això es va intensificar l'efecte de Ciutat del Cap en nosaltres.

Over the course of this week,

Durant aquesta setmana,

we literally spoke our life stories to each other,

ens vam explicar literalment les nostres vides,

from start to finish.

de cap a cap.

And this was about analyzing our own history.

Això ens va fer analitzar les nostres històries.

We followed a strict policy of being honest,

Vam seguir una política estricte d'honestedat,

and this also came with a certain exposure,

i això va suposar una certa exposició,

an open-chested vulnerability.

una vulnerabilitat desmesurada.

There were gutting confessions,

Va haver-hi confessions colpidores,

and moments where we just absolutely couldn't fathom

i moments en els quals no podíem entendre

the other person's experience.

l'experiència de l'altra persona.

The seismic effects of sexual violence were spoken aloud and felt,

Vam parlar dels efectes sísmics de la violència sexual,

face to face.

cara a cara.

At other times, though,

Tot i això, altres vegades

we found a soaring clarity,

vam trobar una profunda claredat,

and even some totally unexpected but liberating laughter.

i inclús un riure completament inesperat però alliberador.

When it came down to it,

Quan vam haver d'afrontar-ho,

we did out best to listen to each other intently.

vam fer el possible per escoltar a l'altre.

And our individual realities were aired with an unfiltered purity

I les nostres realitats individuals van ser alliberades amb una puresa

that couldn't do any less than lighten the soul.

que no podia fer res més que alleugerir l'ànima.

TE: Wanting to take revenge is a very human emotion --

TE: La necessitat de venjança és una emoció molt humana --

instinctual, even.

instintiva, inclús.

And all I wanted to do for years

L'únic que vaig voler durant anys

was to hurt Tom back as deeply as he had hurt me.

era fer tant de mal a en Tom com ell m'havia fet a mi.

But had I not found a way out of the hatred and anger,

Però de no haver trobat una sortida al meu odi i la meva ira,

I'm not sure I'd be standing here today.

no estaria aquí avui.

That isn't to say that I didn't have my doubts along the way.

Això no vol dir que no tingués els meus dubtes en el camí.

When the plane bounced on that landing strip in Cape Town,

Quan l'avió va aterrar a Ciutat del Cap,

I remember thinking,

recordo haver pensat:

"Why did I not just get myself a therapist and a bottle of vodka

"Per què no em vaig fer amb una ampolla de vodka i un terapeuta

like a normal person would do?"

com la gent normal?"

(Laughter)

(Riure)

At times, our search for understanding in Cape Town

A vegades, la nostra recerca de l'enteniment

felt like an impossible quest,

semblava una missió impossible,

and all I wanted to do was to give up

i l'únic que volia fer era rendir-me

and go home to my loving husband, Vidir,

i tornar a casa amb el meu estimat marit, Vidir,

and our son.

i el nostre fill.

But despite our difficulties,

Però tot i les dificultats,

this journey did result in a victorious feeling

el viatge va resultar en un sentiment de victòria

that light had triumphed over darkness,

i la llum va triomfar sobre la foscor,

that something constructive could be built out of the ruins.

alguna cosa constructiva es podia reconstruir de les ruïnes.

I read somewhere

He llegit en algun lloc

that you should try and be the person that you needed when you were younger.

que hauries de ser la persona que necessitaves quan eres jove.

And back when I was a teenager,

I quan jo era adolescent,

I would have needed to know that the shame wasn't mine,

hauria necessitat saber que la culpa no va ser meva,

that there's hope after rape,

que hi ha esperança després de la violació,

that you can even find happiness,

que inclús pots trobar felicitat,

like I share with my husband today.

com la que comparteixo amb el meu marit.

Which is why I started writing feverishly upon my return from Cape Town,

I per això vaig començar a escriure com una boja a la tornada,

resulting in a book co-authored by Tom,

i això va resultar en un llibre co-escrit amb en Tom,

that we hope can be of use to people from both ends

que esperem que pugui ser d'ajuda a persones d'ambdós extrems

of the perpetrator-survivor scale.

a l'escala supervivent-transgressor.

If nothing else,

Si més no,

it's a story that we would've needed to hear when we were younger.

és una història que necessitàvem haver sentit quan érem joves.

Given the nature of our story,

Donada la naturalesa de la història,

I know the words that inevitably accompany it --

conec les paraules que, inevitablement, l'acompanyen --

victim, rapist --

víctima, violador --

and labels are a way to organize concepts,

les etiquetes són una manera d'organitzar conceptes,

but they can also be dehumanizing in their connotations.

però també poden ser deshumanitzadores donades les seves connotacions.

Once someone's been deemed a victim,

Un cop categoritzes algú com a víctima,

it's that much easier to file them away as someone damaged,

es més simple arxivar-los com a algú malmès,

dishonored,

deshonrat,

less than.

menys que.

And likewise, once someone has been branded a rapist,

Igualment, quan algú es categoritzat com a violador,

it's that much easier to call him a monster --

és molt més fàcil titllar-lo de monstre --

inhuman.

inhumà.

But how will we understand what it is in human societies

Però, com podem entendre què és el que produeix violència

that produces violence

a les societats humanes,

if we refuse to recognize the humanity of those who commit it?

si ens neguem a reconèixer l'humanitat d'aquells que la cometen?

And how --

I com --

(Applause)

(aplaudiments)

And how can we empower survivors if we're making them feel less than?

I com podem donar poder a les víctimes si les fem sentir menys que?

How can we discuss solutions to one of the biggest threats

Com poder trobar solucions a una de les majors amenaces

to the lives of women and children around the world,

a les vides de dones i nens de tot el món,

if the very words we use are part of the problem?

si les pròpies paraules que fem servir són part del problema?

TS: From what I've now learnt,

TS: Pel que he après,

my actions that night in 1996 were a self-centered taking.

les meves accions la nit del 1996 van ser egoistes.

I felt deserving of Thordis's body.

Em sentia mereixedor del seu cos.

I've had primarily positive social influences

He tingut influències socials principalment positives

and examples of equitable behavior around me.

i exemples de comportament adequat al meu voltant.

But on that occasion,

Però en aquella situació,

I chose to draw upon the negative ones.

em vaig fixar en els models negatius.

The ones that see women as having less intrinsic worth,

Aquells que veuen a les dones com a éssers inferiors,

and of men having some unspoken and symbolic claim to their bodies.

i dels homes que creuen tenir el dret sobre els seus cossos.

These influences I speak of are external to me, though.

Aquestes influències de les que parlo són externes a mi.

And it was only me in that room making choices,

I aquella nit només era jo prenent decisions,

nobody else.

ningú més.

When you own something

Quan afrontes aquest sentiment

and really square up to your culpability,

i reconeixes la culpabilitat de les teves accions,

I do think a surprising thing can happen.

passa una cosa sorprenent.

It's what I call a paradox of ownership.

Jo en dic la paradoxa del reconeixement.

I thought I'd buckle under the weight of responsibility.

Creia que m'enterraria el pes de la responsabilitat.

I thought my certificate of humanity would be burnt.

Creia que el meu certificat d'humanitat seria cremat.

Instead, I was offered to really own what I did,

En comptes, se'm va oferir reconèixer el que havia fet,

and found that it didn't possess the entirety of who I am.

i vaig descobrir que això no representava la totalitat de qui sóc.

Put simply,

En poques paraules,

something you've done doesn't have to constitute the sum of who you are.

el que has fet no constitueix la suma de qui ets.

The noise in my head abated.

El soroll al meu cap es va amainar.

The indulgent self-pity was starved of oxygen,

La indulgent autocompassió va ser privada d'oxigen,

and it was replaced with the clean air of acceptance --

i substituïda per l'aire pur de l'acceptació --

an acceptance that I did hurt this wonderful person standing next to me;

l'acceptació d'haver fet mal a aquesta persona meravellosa;

an acceptance that I am part of a large and shockingly everyday grouping of men

l'acceptació de que formo part d'un grup gran i sorprenentment normal d'homes

who have been sexually violent toward their partners.

que han sigut sexualment violents amb la seva parella.

Don't underestimate the power of words.

No subestimeu el poder de les paraules.

Saying to Thordis that I raped her changed my accord with myself,

Dir-li a la Thordis que l'havia violat va canviar com em veia a mi mateix,

as well as with her.

i com la veia a ella.

But most importantly,

Però el més important és

the blame transferred from Thordis to me.

que la culpa es va transferir de la Thordis a mi.

Far too often,

Massa vegades,

the responsibility is attributed to female survivors of sexual violence,

la culpa s'atribueix a la supervivent de la violència sexual,

and not to the males who enact it.

i no a l'home que la comet.

Far too often,

Massa vegades,

the denial and running leaves all parties at a great distance from the truth.

negar-ho i fugir ens allunya de la veritat.

There's definitely a public conversation happening now,

Ara mateix hi ha una conversa pública,

and like a lot of people,

i com molta gent,

we're heartened that there's less retreating

ens anima veure que menys gent es fa enrere

from this difficult but important discussion.

d'aquesta difícil però important discussió.

I feel a real responsibility to add our voices to it.

Sento una gran responsabilitat d'afegir-hi les nostres veus.

TE: What we did is not a formula that we're prescribing for others.

TE: El que hem fet no és una fórmula que prescrivim als demés.

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to handle their deepest pain

Ningú te dret a dir-te com has de gestionar el teu propi dolor

or their greatest error.

o els teus propis errors.

Breaking your silence is never easy,

Trencar el silenci mai és fàcil,

and depending on where you are in the world,

i depenent d'on et trobis al món,

it can even be deadly to speak out about rape.

pot ser inclús mortal parlar sobre violació.

I realize that even the most traumatic event of my life

Me n'adono que, inclús la part més traumàtica de la meva vida,

is still a testament to my privilege,

és un exemple del meu privilegi,

because I can talk about it without getting ostracized,

perquè puc parlar sobre això sense ser condemnada,

or even killed.

o inclús assassinada.

But with that privilege of having a voice

Però amb aquest privilegi de tenir veu,

comes the responsibility of using it.

ve la responsabilitat de fer-la servir.

That's the least I owe my fellow survivors who can't.

És el mínim que puc fer pels supervivents que no poden.

The story we've just relayed is unique,

La història que us hem explicat és única,

and yet it is so common with sexual violence being a global pandemic.

i alhora comuna, la violència sexual és una pandèmia global.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Però no ha de ser així.

One of the things that I found useful on my own healing journey

Una cosa que he trobat útil en el meu propi viatge emocional

is educating myself about sexual violence.

és informar-me sobre la violència sexual.

And as a result, I've been reading, writing

Per tant, he estat llegint, escrivint

and speaking about this issue for over a decade now,

i parlant sobre aquest problema durant més d'una dècada,

going to conferences around the world.

anant a conferències arreu del món.

And in my experience,

I en la meva experiència,

the attendees of such events are almost exclusively women.

els assistents són quasi exclusivament dones.

But it's about time that we stop treating sexual violence as a women's issue.

Ja toca deixar de tractar la violència sexual com un problema de dones.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

A majority of sexual violence against women and men

La majoria de violència sexual contra homes i dones

is perpetrated by men.

és causada per homes.

And yet their voices are sorely underrepresented in this discussion.

Però les seves veus són insuficientment representades en aquesta discussió.

But all of us are needed here.

Tots nosaltres som necessaris aquí.

Just imagine all the suffering we could alleviate

Imagineu tot el patiment que podríem evitar

if we dared to face this issue together.

si ens atrevíssim a afrontar aquest problema junts.

Thank you.

Gràcies.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)