Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists | TED

Translator: Luz Leirós Reviewer: Alicia Ferreiro

So I would like to start by telling you about one of my greatest friends,

Gustaríame comezar falándolles dun dos meus grandes amigos,

Okoloma Maduewesi.

Okoloma Maduewesi.

Okoloma lived on my street

Okoloma vivía na miña rúa

and looked after me like a big brother.

e coidaba de min coma un irmán maior.

If I liked a boy, I would ask Okoloma's opinion.

Se me gustaba un rapaz, gustábame pedirlle opinión a Okoloma.

Okoloma died in the notorious Sosoliso plane crash

Okoloma morreu no coñecido accidente aéreo de Sosoliso

in Nigeria in December of 2005.

en Nixeria en decembro de 2005.

Almost exactly seven years ago.

Fai case exactamente sete anos.

Okoloma was a person I could argue with, laugh with and truly talk to.

Okoloma era unha persoa coa que podía discutir, rir e verdadeiramente falar.

He was also the first person to call me a feminist.

Tamén foi a primeira persoa que me chamou feminista.

I was about fourteen, we were at his house, arguing.

Eu tiña uns 14 anos, estabamos na súa casa rifando.

Both of us bristling with half bit knowledge

Ámbolos dous alporizados polos escasos coñecementos obtidos

from books that we had read.

dos libros que leramos.

I don't remember what this particular argument was about,

Non recordo sobre que era a discusión en particular,

but I remember that as I argued and argued,

pero recordo que rifaba e rifaba,

Okoloma looked at me and said, "You know, you're a feminist."

Okoloma miroume e díxome: "Ti es unha feminista".

It was not a compliment.

Non era un piropo.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

I could tell from his tone,

Decateime polo seu ton,

the same tone that you would use to say something like,

o mesmo ton que empregarías para dicir:

"You're a supporter of terrorism."

"Ti es unha terrorista".

(Laughter)

(Risas)

I did not know exactly what this word "feminist" meant,

Non sabía exactamente, o que significaba "feminista",

and I did not want Okoloma to know that I did not know.

e non quería que Okoloma soubera que eu non o sabía.

So I brushed it aside, and I continued to argue.

Así que afasteina, e seguín discutindo.

And the first thing I planned to do when I got home

E o primeiro que fixen ao chegar á miña casa

was to look up the word "feminist" in the dictionary.

foi busca-la palabra "feminista" no dicionario.

Now fast forward to some years later,

Agora dando un salto no tempo, algúns anos máis tarde,

I wrote a novel about a man who among other things beats his wife

escribín unha novela sobre un home que, entre outras cousas, pegaba á súa muller

and whose story doesn't end very well.

e cuxa historia non remata moi ben.

While I was promoting the novel in Nigeria,

Mentres eu promocionaba a novela en Nixeria,

a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man,

un periodista agradable, un home ben intencionado,

told me he wanted to advise me.

dixo que quería darme un consello.

And for the Nigerians here,

E para os nixerianos aquí,

I'm sure we're all familiar

estou segura que todos estamos familiarizados

with how quick our people are to give unsolicited advice.

có rápida que é a nosa xente dando consellos non solicitados.

He told me that people were saying that my novel was feminist

Díxome que a xente dicía que a miña novela era feminista

and his advice to me --

e o seu consello para min,

and he was shaking his head sadly as he spoke --

e sacudía a cabeza con tristura mentres falaba,

was that I should never call myself a feminist

foi que nunca debería dicir que son feminista

because feminists are women who are unhappy

porque as feministas son mulleres descontentas

because they cannot find husbands.

porque non poden atopar marido.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

So I decided to call myself "a happy feminist."

Así que decidín autodenominarme "feminista feliz".

Then an academic, a Nigerian woman told me

Entón, unha muller Nixeriana académica díxome

that feminism was not our culture

que o feminismo non era da nosa cultura

and that feminism wasn't African,

e que o feminismo non era africano,

and that I was calling myself a feminist

e que me autodenominaba feminista

because I had been corrupted by "Western books."

porque estaba corrompida por "libros occidentais."

Which amused me,

O cal divertiume moito,

porque moitas das miñas primeiras lecturas foron claramente anti-feministas.

because a lot of my early readings were decidedly unfeminist.

I think I must have read every single Mills & Boon romance published

Creo que lin cada novela (rosa) publicada de Mills e Boon

before I was sixteen.

antes de ter 16 anos.

And each time I tried to read those books

E cada vez que intentaba ler eses libros,

called "the feminist classics,"

chamados "os clásicos feministas",

I'd get bored, and I really struggled to finish them.

aburríame, e tiven que esforzarme para terminar de lelos.

But anyway, since feminism was un-African,

Pero, como de calquera xeito, o feminismo non era africano,

I decided that I would now call myself "a happy African feminist."

decidín que agora denominaríame "feminista africana feliz".

At some point I was a happy African feminist who does not hate men

Nese momento era unha feminista africana feliz que non odiaba aos homes

e á que lle gustaba o carmín nos beizos

and who likes lip gloss

and who wears high heels for herself but not for men.

e que levaba tacóns para si mesma e non para os homes.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Of course a lot of this was tongue-in-cheek,

Por suposto, moito disto é retranca,

but that word feminist is so heavy with baggage, negative baggage.

pero a palabra feminista é unha carga tan pesada, tan negativa.

You hate men, you hate bras,

Odias aos homes, odias aos suxeitadores,

you hate African culture, that sort of thing.

odias a cultura africana, ese tipo de cousas.

Now here's a story from my childhood.

Agora unha historia da miña nenez.

When I was in primary school,

Cando estaba na escola primaria,

my teacher said at the beginning of term that she would give the class a test

a miña mestra dixo ao comezo do curso que faría unha proba á clase

e aquel que tivera a puntuación máis alta sería o delegado da clase.

and whoever got the highest score would be the class monitor.

Now, class monitor was a big deal.

Ser delegado de clase era moi importante.

If you were a class monitor,

Se un era delegado de clase,

you got to write down the names of noisemakers --

tiña que apuntar os nomes dos revoltosos,

(Laughter)

(Risas)

which was having enough power of its own.

o que che daba bastante poder.

But my teacher would also give you a cane to hold in your hand

Pero a miña mestra tamén che daba un bastón para soster na túa man

while you walk around and patrol the class for noisemakers.

mentres patrullabas a clase para controlar aos revoltosos.

Now, of course you were not actually allowed to use the cane.

Por suposto, non tiñas permitido realmente usar o bastón.

But it was an exciting prospect for the nine-year-old me.

Pero era unha actividade moi excitante para unha nena de nove anos.

I very much wanted to be the class monitor.

Tiña moitas ganas de ser a delegada da clase.

And I got the highest score on the test.

E conseguín a puntuación máis alta na proba.

Then, to my surprise, my teacher said that the monitor had to be a boy.

Entón, para a miña sorpresa, a profesora dixo que o delegado tiña que ser un neno.

She had forgotten to make that clear earlier

Esquecérase de deixalo claro antes

because she assumed it was ... obvious.

porque ela asumira que era... obvio.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

A boy had the second highest score on the test,

Un neno tivo a segunda nota máis alta na proba,

and he would be monitor.

e el foi o delegado.

Now, what was even more interesting about this

Agora, o que resulta aínda máis interesante nisto

is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul

é que o neno era unha alma cándida

who had no interest in patrolling the class with the cane,

que non tiña ningún interese en patrulla-la clase có bastón,

while I was full of ambition to do so.

mentres que eu estaba desexando facelo.

But I was female and he was male,

Pero eu era muller e el era un home,

and so he became the class monitor.

e así el chegou a ser o delegado da clase.

And I've never forgotten that incident.

E eu nunca esquecín ese incidente.

I often make the mistake of thinking

A miúdo, eu cometo o erro de pensar

that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.

que algo que é obvio para min, ten que selo para os demais.

Now, take my dear friend Louis

Agora, tomemos ao meu querido amigo Louis

for example.

por exemplo.

Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,

Louis é un home brillante, progresista,

and we would have conversations and he would tell me,

e tiñamos conversas nas que el me dicía,

"I don't know what you mean by things being different or harder for women.

"Non sei que queres dicir con que as cousas son máis difíciles para a muller.

Maybe in the past, but not now."

Talvez no pasado, pero non agora ".

And I didn't understand how Louis could not see what seems so self-evident.

E eu non entendía como Louis non podía ver o que para min é tan evidente.

Then one evening, in Lagos, Louis and I went out with friends.

Entón, unha tarde, en Lagos, Louis e máis eu saímos cuns amigos.

And for people here who are not familiar with Lagos,

E para os que están aquí e que non coñecen Lagos,

there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,

alí teñen algo marabilloso,

the sprinkling of energetic men who hang around outside establishments

sempre hai algún home enérxico pululando arredor dos establecementos

and very dramatically "help" you park your car.

e de xeito moi serio "axúdate" a aparca-lo teu coche.

I was impressed with the particular theatrics

Eu estaba impresionada cun home en particular

of the man who found us a parking spot that evening.

que conseguiu atoparnos unha praza de aparcamento pola noite.

And so as we were leaving, I decided to leave him a tip.

E así, cando marchabamos, decidín deixarlle unha propina.

I opened my bag,

Abrín o meu bolso,

put my hand inside my bag,

metín dentro a miña man,

brought out my money that I had earned from doing my work,

saquei os meus cartos que gañara có meu traballo,

and I gave it to the man.

e deillos ao home.

And he, this man who was very grateful and very happy,

E ese home, que estaba moi agradecido e moi feliz,

took the money from me,

colleu os meus cartos,

looked across at Louis

mirou cara Louis

and said, "Thank you, sir!"

e díxolle: "Grazas, señor!"

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Louis looked at me, surprised,

Louis miroume, sorprendido, e preguntoume

and asked, "Why is he thanking me? I didn't give him the money."

"Por que mo agradece a min? Eu non lle din o diñeiro."

Then I saw realization dawn on Louis' face.

Entón vin a revelación no rostro de Louis.

The man believed that whatever money I had

O home pensaba que calquera diñeiro que eu tivera,

had ultimately come from Louis.

tiña que vir, en última instancia, de Louis.

Because Louis is a man.

Porque Louis é un home.

Men and women are different.

Homes e mulleres son diferentes.

We have different hormones, we have different sexual organs,

Temos diferentes hormonas, temos órganos sexuais distintos,

we have different biological abilities.

temos diferentes capacidades biolóxicas.

Women can have babies, men can't.

As mulleres poden ter bebés, os homes non.

At least not yet.

Ao menos, polo de agora.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Men have testosterone and are in general physically stronger than women.

Os homes teñen testosterona e son, en xeral, máis fortes cas mulleres.

There's slightly more women than men in the world,

Hai lixeiramente máis mulleres que homes no mundo,

about 52 percent of the world's population is female.

arredor do 52 % da poboación mundial é de sexo feminino.

But most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men.

Pero a maioría das posicións de poder e prestixio están ocupadas por homes.

The late Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate,

A última premio Nobel da Paz de Kenia,

Wangari Maathai,

Wangari Maathai,

put it simply and well when she said:

díxoo moi claro en poucas palabras:

"The higher you go, the fewer women there are."

"Canto máis ascendes, menos mulleres hai"

In the recent US elections we kept hearing of the Lilly Ledbetter law,

Nas pasadas elecións americanas estivemos moi pendentes da lei Lilly Ledbetter,

and if we go beyond the nicely alliterative name of that law,

e indo máis aló da retórica, o nome da dita Lei,

it was really about a man and a woman

refírese realmente a homes e mulleres que,

doing the same job, being equally qualified,

facendo o mesmo traballo, estando igualmente preparados,

and the man being paid more because he's a man.

págaselle máis ao home, porque é un home.

So in the literal way, men rule the world,

Así, no sentido literal, os homes gobernan o mundo,

and this made sense a thousand years ago

e isto tiña sentido fai mil anos

because human beings lived then in a world

porque os seres humanos vivían entón nun mundo

in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival.

no que a forza física era o atributo máis importante cara a supervivencia.

The physically stronger person was more likely to lead,

A persoa fisicamente máis forte era, probablemente, a que mandaba,

and men, in general, are physically stronger.

e os homes, en xeral, son fisicamente mais fortes.

Of course there are many exceptions.

Por suposto, hai moitas excepcións.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

But today we live in a vastly different world.

Pero hoxe en día vivimos nun mundo moi diferente.

The person more likely to lead is not the physically stronger person;

A persoa que probablemente manda non é a persoa fisicamente máis forte;

it is the more creative person, the more intelligent person,

é a persoa máis creativa, a persoa máis intelixente,

the more innovative person,

a persoa máis innovadora,

and there are no hormones for those attributes.

e non hai hormonas para eses atributos.

A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent,

Un home ten a mesma probabilidade que unha muller de ser intelixente

to be creative, to be innovative.

ser creativo, ser innovador.

We have evolved;

Evolucionamos;

but it seems to me that our ideas of gender had not evolved.

pero paréceme que as nosas ideas de xénero non evolucionaron.

Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels.

Fai algunhas semanas, entrei no vestíbulo dun dos mellores hoteis de Nixeria.

I thought about naming the hotel, but I thought I probably shouldn't.

Pensaba darlle-lo nome do hotel, pero probablemente no debería.

And a guard at the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying questions,

E un garda na entrada paroume e fíxome preguntas molestas,

because their automatic assumption is

debido á súa suposición automática de que

that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.

unha muller Nixeriana que entra soa nun hotel é unha traballadora sexual.

And by the way,

E, por certo,

why do these hotels focus on the ostensible supply

por que eses hoteis céntranse na oferta ostentosa

rather than the demand for sex workers?

e non na demanda de profesionais do sexo?

In Lagos I cannot go alone into many "reputable" bars and clubs.

En Lagos eu non podo ir soa a certos bares e clubs "respectables".

They just don't let you in if you're a woman alone,

Eles simplemente non te deixan entrar se vas soa,

you have to be accompanied by a man.

tes que ir en compañia dun home.

Each time I walk into a Nigerian restaurant with a man,

Cada vez que entro nun restaurante nixeriano cun home,

the waiter greets the man and ignores me.

o camareiro saúda ao home e a min ignórame.

The waiters are products --

Os camareiros son produtos

(Laughter)

(Risas)

At this some women felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"

E nisto algunhas mulleres senten como "Si! Iso pensaba eu!"

The waiters are products of a society

Os camareiros son produto dunha sociedade

that has taught them that men are more important than women.

que lles ensinou que os homes son máis importantes cas mulleres.

And I know that waiters don't intend any harm.

Eu sei que os camareiros non pretenden facer dano.

But it's one thing to know intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally.

Pero unha cousa é o saber intelectual, e outra moi distinta son as emocións.

Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible.

Cada vez que me ignoran, síntome invisible.

I feel upset.

Síntome molesta.

I want to tell them that I am just as human as the man,

Quero dicirlles que eu son tan humana como un home,

that I'm just as worthy of acknowledgment.

son tan merecente de consideración.

These are little things,

Son pequenas cousas,

but sometimes it's the little things that sting the most.

pero, as veces, son as pequenas cousas as que máis doen.

And not long ago, I wrote an article

Hai pouco tempo, escribín un artigo

about what it means to be young and female in Lagos,

acerca do que significa ser xove e muller en Lagos,

and the printers told me,

e os editores dixéronme que,

"It was so angry."

"era tan indignado."

Of course it was angry!

Por suposto que era indignado!

(Laughter)

(Risas)

I am angry.

Eu estou indignada.

Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice.

O xénero, tal e como funciona hoxe en día, é unha grave inxustiza.

We should all be angry.

Todos deberíamos estar indignados.

Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change;

A indignación adoita traer cambios positivos;

but, in addition to being angry, I'm also hopeful.

pero, ademais de estar indignada, eu tamén estou esperanzada.

Because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings

Porque creo profundamente na capacidade dos seres humanos

to make and remake themselves for the better.

para mellorarse cada vez máis.

Gender matters everywhere in the world,

O xénero é importante en todo o mundo,

but I want to focus on Nigeria

pero eu quero centrarme en Nixeria

and on Africa in general,

e en África en xeral,

because it is where I know, and because it is where my heart is.

porque é o que eu coñezo, e porque é onde está o meu corazón.

And I would like today to ask

E gustaríame preguntar hoxe

that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world,

como empezamos a soñar e planificar un mundo diferente,

a fairer world,

un mundo máis xusto,

a world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves.

un mundo de homes e mulleres máis felices que son máis fieis a si mesmos.

And this is how to start:

E así é como debemos facelo:

we must raise our daughters differently.

debemos educar as nosas fillas de maneira diferente.

We must also raise our sons differently.

Tamén debemos educar aos nosos fillos de maneira diferente.

We do a great disservice to boys on how we raise them;

Facemos un fraco favor aos nenos tal e como os educamos;

we stifle the humanity of boys.

reprimimos a humanidade dos nenos.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way,

Definimos a masculinidade dun xeito moi limitado,

masculinity becomes this hard, small cage

a masculinidade convértese nunha ríxida e pequena gaiola

and we put boys inside the cage.

e poñemos aos nenos dentro da gaiola.

We teach boys to be afraid of fear.

Ensinamos aos nenos a ter medo do medo.

We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability.

Ensinamos aos nenos a ter medo da debilidade, da vulnerabilidade.

Ensinámoslles ocultar o seu verdadeiro ser,

We teach them to mask their true selves,

because they have to be, in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"

porque teñen que ser, como din os nixerianos, "homes duros!"

In secondary school, a boy and a girl, both of them teenagers,

No instituto, un rapaz e unha rapaza, ámbolos dous adolescentes,

both of them with the same amount of pocket money, would go out

ámbolos dous coa mesma cantidade de cartos no peto,

and then the boy would be expected always to pay,

se saíran, esperaríamos que o rapaz pagase

to prove his masculinity.

para demostrar a súa masculinidade.

And yet we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.

E aínda preguntamos por que os nenos é máis probable que rouben aos seus pais?

What if both boys and girls were raised

Que pasaría se educásemos aos nenos e as nenas

not to link masculinity with money?

para non vincular a masculinidade cós cartos?

What if the attitude was not "the boy has to pay"

Que pasaría se a actitude non fora "o rapaz ten que pagar"

but rather "whoever has more should pay?"

senón máis ben "o que máis ten, debe pagar?"

Now, of course because of that historical advantage,

Agora, por suposto, debido a unha vantaxe histórica,

it is mostly men who will have more today,

a maioría das veces serán os homes os que máis teñan hoxe,

but if we start raising children differently,

pero se comezamos a educar aos nenos doutro xeito,

then in fifty years, in a hundred years,

entón, en cincuenta anos, en cen anos,

boys will no longer have the pressure of having to prove this masculinity.

os nenos xa non terán a presión de ter que demostrar a súa masculinidade.

But by far the worst thing we do to males,

Pero, con moito, o peor que lles facemos aos varóns,

by making them feel that they have to be hard,

facéndolles sentir que teñen que ser duros,

is that we leave them with very fragile egos.

é que os deixamos con egos moi fráxiles.

The more "hard man" the man feels compelled to be,

Canto máis "home duro" séntese obrigado a ser un home,

the weaker his ego is.

máis débil é o seu ego.

And then we do a much greater disservice to girls

E entón facemos un prexuízo moito maior ás nenas

because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of men.

porque as educamos para atender ós fráxiles egos dos homes.

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller,

Ensinamos ás nenas a reprimirse a si mesmas, a facerse máis pequenas,

we say to girls,

dicimos ás nenas,

"You can have ambition, but not too much."

"Podes ter ambición, pero non demasiada."

(Laughter)

(Risas)

"You should aim to be successful, but not too successful,

"Podes busca-lo éxito, pero non demasiado,

otherwise you would threaten the man."

senón, serás unha ameaza para o home".

If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man,

Se ti e-lo sostén da túa relación cun home,

you have to pretend that you're not,

tes que finxir que non o es,

especially in public,

sobre todo en público,

otherwise you will emasculate him.

senón vas a castralo.

But what if we question the premise itself?

Pero, que pasa se cuestionamos a premisa en si mesma?

Why should a woman's success be a threat to a man?

Por que debería ser o éxito dunha muller unha ameaza para o home?

What if we decide to simply dispose of that word,

que pasa se, simplemente, desfacémonos desa palabra,

and I don't think there's an English word I dislike more than "emasculation."

e non creo que haxa unha palabra inglesa que me desguste máis que "castración".

A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me

Un coñecido nixeriano preguntoume unha vez

if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me.

se me preocupaba que os homes sentíranse intimidados por min.

I was not worried at all.

Non estaba preocupada en absoluto.

In fact, it had not occurred to me to be worried

De feito, non se me ocorrera estar preocupada

because a man who would be intimidated by me

porque un home que se sentira intimidado por min

is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.

é exactamente o tipo de home que non me interesa.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

But still I was really struck by this.

Aínda así, eu estaba realmente sorprendida por isto.

Because I'm female, I'm expected to aspire to marriage;

Como son muller, espérase que aspire ao matrimonio;

I'm expected to make my life choices

Espérase que tome as decisións da miña vida

always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important.

sempre tendo en conta que o matrimonio é o máis importante.

A marriage can be a good thing;

Un matrimonio pode ser algo bo;

it can be a source of joy and love and mutual support.

pode ser fonte de alegría e amor, e de apoio mutuo.

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

Pero, por que ensinamos ás nenas a aspirar ao matrimonio

and we don't teach boys the same?

e non ensinamos o mesmo aos nenos?

I know a woman who decided to sell her house

Coñezo a unha muller que decidiu vende-la súa casa

because she didn't want to intimidate a man who might marry her.

porque non quería intimidar ao home que puidera casar con ela.

I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria who, when she goes to conferences,

Coñezo unha muller solteira en Nixeria que, cando vai a congresos,

wears a wedding ring

leva anel de casada

because according to her,

porque, segundo ela,

she wants the other participants in the conference to "give her respect."

quere que os outros participantes do congreso lle "teñan respecto"

I know young women who are under so much pressure

Eu coñezo mulleres novas, que están baixo tanta presión

from family, from friends, even from work to get married,

da familia, dos amigos, incluso do traballo, para casarse,

and they're pushed to make terrible choices.

que son empurradas a tomar decisións terribles.

A woman at a certain age who is unmarried,

Unha muller de certa idade que non está casada,

our society teaches her to see it as a deep, personal failure.

na nosa sociedade ensínasenos a velo como un profundo fracaso persoal.

And a man at a certain age who is unmarried,

E un home de certa idade que non está casado,

we just think he hasn't come around to making his pick.

só pensamos que non lle chegou o tempo de facer a súa elección.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

It's easy for us to say,

É fácil para nós dicir,

"Oh, but women can just say no to all of this."

"Oh, pero as mulleres poden simplemente dicir non a todo isto."

But the reality is more difficult and more complex.

Pero a realidade é máis difícil e máis complexa.

We're all social beings.

Todos somos seres sociais.

We internalize ideas from our socialization.

Interiorizamos ideas a partires desa socialización.

Even the language we use

Incluso a linguaxe que usamos,

in talking about marriage and relationships illustrates this.

cando falamos sobre o matrimonio e as relaciones, ilustra isto.

The language of marriage is often the language of ownership

A linguaxe do matrimonio é,a miúdo, a linguaxe da propiedade

rather than the language of partnership.

máis ca linguaxe da asociación.

We use the word "respect"

Usamos a palabra "respecto"

to mean something a woman shows a man

no sentido de algo que unha muller amosa a un home

but often not something a man shows a woman.

pero, a miúdo non é algo que un home amosa a unha muller.

Both men and women in Nigeria will say --

Tanto homes como mulleres en Nixeria dirán

this is an expression I'm very amused by --

-isto é unha expresión que me parece moi divertida-

"I did it for peace in my marriage."

"Fíxeno polo ben do meu matrimonio."

Now, when men say it,

Agora ben, cando é un home quen o di,

it is usually about something that they should not be doing anyway.

xeralmente refírese a algo que non debería fixer.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Sometimes they say it to their friends,

As veces, eles din aos seus amigos,

it's something to say to their friends in a kind of fondly exasperated way,

é algo que dicir aos seus amigos dun xeito claramente exasperado,

you know, something that ultimately proves how masculine they are,

xa sabedes, algo que, finalmente, demostra o masculinos que son,

how needed, how loved.

o necesarios e queridos que son.

"Oh, my wife said I can't go to the club every night,

"Oh, a miña muller di que non podo ir ao club tódalas noites,

so for peace in my marriage, I do it only on weekends."

así que, para o ben do meu matrimonio, só vou a fin de semana ".

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Now, when a woman says, "I did it for peace in my marriage,"

Agora, cando unha muller di, "fíxeno polo ben do meu matrimonio,"

she's usually talking about giving up a job,

xeralmente está a falar de renunciar a un posto de traballo,

a dream,

a un sono,

a career.

a unha carreira.

We teach females that in relationships,

Ensinamos ás mulleres que, nas relacións,

compromise is what women do.

o compromiso é o que fan as mulleres.

We raise girls to see each other as competitors --

Educamos as nenas para que vexan ás outras como competidoras,

not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing,

non para postos de traballo ou outros logros, o cal pode ser algo bo,

but for attention of men.

senón para a atención dos homes.

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings

Ensinamos ás nenas que non poden ser seres sexuais

in the way that boys are.

no xeito en que son os nenos.

If we have sons, we don't mind knowing about our sons' girlfriends.

Se temos fillos, non nos preocupamos de coñecer ás súas noivas.

But our daughters' boyfriends? God forbid.

Pero,os noivos das nosas fillas? Líbrenos Deus!

(Laughter)

(Risas)

But of course when the time is right,

Pero, por suposto, cando chegue o momento,

we expect those girls to bring back the perfect man to be their husbands.

esperamos que esas chicas atopen ao home perfecto para que sexa o seu esposo.

We police girls, we praise girls for virginity,

Nós controlamos ás nenas, loamos ás nenas pola súa virxindade,

but we don't praise boys for virginity,

pero non loamos aos nenos pola virxindade,

and it's always made me wonder how exactly this is supposed to work out because ...

e sempre pregunteime como funciona isto exactamente, porque ...

(Laughter)

(Risas)

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

I mean, the loss of virginity is usually a process that involves ...

Quero dicir, a perda da virxindade é, polo xeral, un proceso que implica...

Recently a young woman was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,

Recentemente, unha muller nova foi violada en grupo nunha universidade de Nixeria,

I think some of us know about that.

penso que algúns de nos xa o coñecíamos.

And the response of many young Nigerians, both male and female,

E a resposta de moitos mozos Nixerianos, tanto homes como mulleres,

was something along the lines of this:

foi algo nesta liña:

"Yes, rape is wrong.

"Si, a violación é algo malo.

But what is a girl doing in a room with four boys?"

Pero, que facía unha rapaza nun cuarto con catro rapaces?"

Now, if we can forget the horrible inhumanity of that response,

Agora ben, se podemos esquecer o inhumano desa resposta,

these Nigerians have been raised to think of women as inherently guilty,

eses nixerianos foron educados para pensar nas mulleres como culpables por natureza

and they have been raised to expect so little of men

e foron educados para esperar tan pouco dos homes

that the idea of men as savage beings without any control

que a idea dos homes como seres salvaxes sen control

is somehow acceptable.

é, dalgún xeito, aceptable.

We teach girls shame.

Ensinamos ás nenas vergonza.

"Close your legs." "Cover yourself."

"Pecha as túas pernas." "Tápate."

We make them feel as though by being born female

Facémolas sentir como se, por naceren femias,

they're already guilty of something.

xa son culpables de algo.

And so, girls grow up to be women

E así, as nenas chegan a ser mulleres

who cannot see they have desire.

que non poden amosa-lo seu desexo.

They grow up to be women who silence themselves.

Chegan a ser mulleres que se silencian a si mesmas.

They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think,

Chegan a ser mulleres que non poden dicir o que realmente pensan,

and they grow up --

e chegan a ser,

and this is the worst thing we did to girls --

e isto é o peor que facemos ás nenas,

they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.

chegan a ser mulleres que converteron a simulación nunha forma de arte.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

I know a woman who hates domestic work,

Coñezo a unha muller que odia o traballo doméstico,

she just hates it,

Ela, simplemente, odiao,

but she pretends that she likes it,

pero simula que lle gusta,

because she's been taught that to be "good wife material"

porque foi educada para ser "unha boa esposa"

she has to be -- to use that Nigerian word --

ela ten que ser -usando esa palabra nixeriana-

very "homely."

moi "caseira".

And then she got married,

E logo casou,

and after a while her husband's family began to complain that she had changed.

e despois dun tempo a familia do seu home queixouse de que ela cambiara .

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Actually, she had not changed,

En realidade, ela non cambiara,

she just got tired of pretending.

ela, simplemente, cansou de finxir.

The problem with gender,

O problema có xénero,

is that it prescribes how we should be

é que determina como debemos ser

rather than recognizing how we are.

en vez de recoñecer como somos.

Now imagine how much happier we would be,

Agora imaxinemos canto máis felices seríamos,

how much freer to be our true individual selves,

canto máis libres para sermos como verdadeiramente somos,

if we didn't have the weight of gender expectations.

si non tiverámo-lo peso das expectativas de xénero.

Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically,

Nenos e nenas son, sen dúbida, biolóxicamente diferentes,

but socialization exaggerates the differences

pero a socialización esaxera as diferenzas

and then it becomes a self-fulfilling process.

e convértenas nunha profecía auto-cumprida.

Now, take cooking for example.

Agora, tomemos a cociña, por exemplo.

As mulleres de hoxe, en xeral, son máis propensas ás tarefas de casa que os homes,

Today women in general are more likely to do the housework than men,

the cooking and cleaning.

a cociña e a limpeza.

But why is that?

Pero, por que?

Is it because women are born with a cooking gene?

É porque as mulleres nacen cun xene da cociña?

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role?

Ou porque durante anos foron socializadas para ve-la cociña como o seu encargo?

Actually, I was going to say that maybe women are born with a cooking gene,

En realidade, eu ia dicir que talvez as mulleres nacen cun xene da cociña,

until I remember that the majority of the famous cooks in the world,

ata que recordei que a maioría dos cociñeiros famosos do mundo,

whom we give the fancy title of "chefs,"

aos que lle damos o bonito título de "chefs",

are men.

son homes.

I used to look up to my grandmother

Eu admiraba á miña avoa

who was a brilliant, brilliant woman,

que era unha muller realmente brillante,

and wonder how she would have been

e preguntábame como podería ter sido

if she had the same opportunities as men when she was growing up.

se tivera as mesmas oportunidades que os homes cando era pequena.

Now today, there are many more opportunities for women

Hoxe en día, hai moitas máis oportunidades para as mulleres

than there were during my grandmother's time

das que había na época da miña avoa

because of changes in policy, changes in law,

debido a cambios na política, cambios nas leis,

all of which are very important.

todos eles moi importantes.

But what matters even more is our attitude, our mindset,

Pero o que realmente importa é a nosa actitude,o noso xeito de pensar,

what we believe and what we value about gender.

o que cremos e o que valoramos sobre o xénero.

What if in raising children

Que pasa se na educación dos fillos

we focus on ability instead of gender?

centrámonos na capacidade en lugar do xénero?

What if in raising children we focus on interest instead of gender?

Que pasa se nos centramos nos intereses en lugar do xénero?

I know a family who have a son and a daughter,

Coñezo unha familia que ten un fillo e unha filla,

both of whom are brilliant at school,

ámbolos dous son brillantes na escola,

who are wonderful, lovely children.

son nenos encantadores e marabillosos.

When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl,

Cando o neno ten fame, os pais dinlle á nena,

"Go and cook Indomie noodles for your brother."

"Vai cociñar fideos Indomie para o teu irmán."

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Now, the daughter doesn't particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,

Agora ben, á filla non lle gusta especialmente cociñar eses fideos,

but she's a girl, and so she has to.

pero ela é unha nena, e por iso ten que facelo.

Now, what if the parents,

Agora ben, que pasa se os pais,

from the beginning,

dende o principio,

taught both the boy and the girl to cook Indomie?

ensinaran, tanto ao neno como á nena,a cociñar Indomie?

Cooking, by the way, is a very useful skill for boys to have.

Cociñar, por certo, é unha habilidade moi útil para os nenos.

I've never thought it made sense to leave such a crucial thing,

Nunca pensei que tivera sentido deixar algo tan crucial,

the ability to nourish oneself --

a capacidade de nutrirse -

(Laughter)

(Risas)

in the hands of others.

nas mans doutros.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

I know a woman who has the same degree and the same job as her husband.

Coñezo a unha muller que ten a mesma titulación e traballo que o seu home,

When they get back from work, she does most of the housework,

cando ambos volven do traballo, ela fai a meirande parte das tarefas do fogar,

which I think is true for many marriages.

creo que é igual en moitos matrimonios.

But what struck me about them

Pero o que chamou a miña atención deles

was that whenever her husband changed the baby's diaper,

foi que, cada vez que o marido cambiaba o cueiro ao bebé,

she said "thank you" to him.

ela dáballe as grazas.

Now, what if she saw this as perfectly normal and natural

Agora ben, e si ela vira isto como algo perfectamente normal e natural

that he should, in fact, care for his child?

como debería ser, de feito, o coidado do seu fillo?

(Laughter)

(Risas)

I'm trying to unlearn many of the lessons of gender

Eu estou tentando "desaprender" moitas das leccións de xénero

that I internalized when I was growing up.

que interioricei cando estaba crecendo.

But I sometimes still feel very vulnerable in the face of gender expectations.

Pero, as veces, síntome moi vulnerable aínda fronte ás expectativas de xénero.

The first time I taught a writing class in graduate school,

A primeira vez que din unha clase de escritura na escola de posgrao,

I was worried.

estaba preocupada.

I wasn't worried about the material I would teach

Non estaba preocupada pola materia a ensinar,

because I was well-prepared,

porque a tiña ben preparada

and I was going to teach what I enjoy teaching.

e tiña que dar clase do que me gusta ensinar.

Instead, I was worried about what to wear.

No seu lugar, estaba preocupada pola roupa.

I wanted to be taken seriously.

Eu quería que me tomaran en serio.

I knew that because I was female

Eu sabía que, como era unha muller,

I will automatically have to prove my worth.

tería que demostra-la miña valía inmediatamente.

E estaba preocupada porque, se parecía demasiado feminina,

And I was worried that if I looked too feminine,

I would not be taken seriously.

non sería tomada en serio.

I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,

Realmente eu quería leva-lo meu brillo de labios e a miña saia feminina,

but I decided not to.

pero decidín non facelo.

Instead, I wore a very serious,

No seu lugar, levei un traxe moi serio,

very manly and very ugly suit.

moi masculino e moi feo.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Because the sad truth is that when it comes to appearance

Por que a triste verdade é que, no que se refire á aparencia,

we start off with men as the standard, as the norm.

partimos dos homes como estándar, como a norma.

If a man is getting ready for a business meeting,

Cando un home prepárase para unha reunión de negocios,

he doesn't worry about looking too masculine

non se preocupa por parecer demasiado masculino

and therefore not being taken for granted.

e, polo tanto, non da por suposto nada.

If a woman has to get ready for business meeting,

Se unha muller ten que prepararse para unha reunión de negocios,

she has to worry about looking too feminine

ten que procurar non parecer demasiado feminina,

and what it says and whether or not she will be taken seriously.

porque é o que di si será ou non tomada en serio.

I wish I had not worn that ugly suit that day.

Oxalá non puxera ese feo traxe ese día.

I've actually banished it from my closet, by the way.

De feito, desterreino do meu armario, por certo.

Had I then the confidence that I have now to be myself,

Se tivera entón a confianza en mi mesma que teño hoxe,

my students would have benefited even more from my teaching,

os meus estudantes beneficiaríanse aínda máis das miñas ensinanzas,

because I would have been more comfortable

porque eu sentiríame máis cómoda

and more fully and more truly myself.

e máis plena e verdadeiramente eu mesma.

I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness

Escollín non desculparme máis pola miña non-virilidade

and for my femininity.

nin pola miña feminidade.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness

E quero ser respectada en toda a miña non-virilidade

because I deserve to be.

porque merezo respecto.

Gender is not an easy conversation to have.

O xénero non é unha conversa fácil.

For both men and women,

Tanto homes como mulleres,

to bring up gender is sometimes to encounter almost immediate resistance.

ao saca-lo tema, atopan as veces unha resistencia case inmediata.

I can imagine some people here are actually thinking,

Podo imaxinar que algunhas persoas aquí están pensando en realidade,

"Women too do sef."

"As mulleres tamén o fan"

Some of the men here might be thinking,

Algúns homes aquí poderían estar pensando,

"OK, all of this is interesting,

"Dacordo, todo isto é moi interesante,

but I don't think like that."

pero eu non o vexo así ".

And that is part of the problem.

E iso é parte do problema.

That many men do not actively think about gender

Que moitos homes non pensen demasiado sobre o xénero,

ou non sexan conscientes do xénero,

or notice gender

is part of the problem of gender.

é parte do problema de xénero.

That many men, say, like my friend Louis,

Que moitos homes digan, como o meu amigo Louis,

that everything is fine now.

que todo está ben hoxe.

And that many men do nothing to change it.

E que moitos homes non fagan nada para cambialo.

If you are a man and you walk into a restaurant with a woman

Se ti es un home e entras nun restaurante cunha muller

and the waiter greets only you,

e o camareiro saúdate só a ti,

does it occur to you to ask the waiter,

non se che ocorre dicirlle,

"Why haven't you greeted her?"

"Por que non saúdas tamén a ela?"

Because gender can be --

Porque o xénero pode ser...

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Actually, we may repose part of a longer version of this talk.

En realidade, podemos reflexionar parte dunha versión máis longa desta charla.

So, because gender can be a very uncomfortable conversation to have,

Así, como o xénero pode ser unha conversación moi incómoda,

there are very easy ways to close it, to close the conversation.

temos maneiras moi fáciles de pechala, de pecha-la charla.

So some people will bring up evolutionary biology and apes,

De modo que, algunhas persoas falarán de bioloxía evolutiva e primates,

how, you know, female apes bow down to male apes

e de como, xa sabemos, as femias de mono inclínanse ante os machos,

and that sort of thing.

e cousas dese tipo.

But the point is we're not apes.

Pero a cuestión é que nós non somos monos.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

Apes also live on trees and have earthworms for breakfast,

Os monos tamén viven nas árbores e comen miñocas no almorzo,

and we don't.

e nós non.

Some people will say, "Well, poor men also have a hard time."

Algúns dirán: "Ben, os pobres tamén o teñen difícil"

And this is true.

E isto é certo.

But that is not what this --

Pero non é o que...

(Laughter)

(Risas)

But this is not what this conversation is about.

Pero non é do que trata esta charla.

Gender and class are different forms of oppression.

Xénero e clase son diferentes formas de opresión.

I actually learned quite a bit about systems of oppression

En realidade, aprendín algo acerca dos sistemas de opresión

and how they can be blind to one another

e de como poden cegarnos mutuamente

by talking to black men.

falando con homes de raza negra.

I was once talking to a black man about gender

Unha vez falei cun home negro sobre o xénero

and he said to me,

e díxome:

"Why do you have to say 'my experience as a woman'?

"Por que tes que dicir, a miña experiencia como muller?"

Why can't it be

"Por que non pode ser,

'your experience as a human being'?"

a túa experiencia como ser humano?"

Now, this was the same man

Agora ben, este era o mesmo home

who would often talk about his experience as a black man.

que falaba decote da súa experiencia como home negro.

Gender matters.

Cuestións de xénero.

Men and women experience the world differently.

Homes e mulleres experimentan o mundo de xeitos diferentes.

Gender colors the way we experience the world.

O xénero colorea o xeito en que experimentámo-lo mundo.

But we can change that.

Pero podemos cambiar iso.

Some people will say,

Algunhas persoas dirán,

"Oh, but women have the real power,

"Oh, pero as mulleres teñen o autentico poder,

bottom power."

o poder de abaixo".

And for non-Nigerians, bottom power is an expression

E para os non nixerianos, poder de abaixo é unha expresión

which I suppose means something like a woman

que supoño que significa algo así como que unha muller

who uses her sexuality to get favors from men.

pode utiliza-la súa sexualidade para obter favores dos homes.

But bottom power is not power at all.

Pero o poder de abaixo non é poder en absoluto.

Bottom power means that a woman

O poder de abaixo significa que unha muller

simply has a good root to tap into, from time to time --

simplemente ten a opción de aproveitar, de cando en cando,

somebody else's power.

o poder doutro.

And then, of course, we have to wonder

E, por suposto, temos que preguntarnos

what happens when that somebody else is in a bad mood,

que sucede cando ese outro está de mal humor,

or sick

ou enfermo

or impotent.

ou impotente.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Some people will say that a woman being subordinate to a man is our culture.

Algunhas persoas dirán que a subordinación da muller é parte da nosa cultura.

But culture is constantly changing.

Pero a cultura cambia constantemente.

I have beautiful twin nieces who are fifteen and live in Lagos.

Eu teño dúas fermosas sobriñas xemelgas, que teñen quince anos e viven en Lagos.

If they had been born a hundred years ago

Se tiveran nacido hai cen anos

they would have been taken away and killed.

elas terían sido asasinadas

Because it was our culture, it was our culture to kill twins.

Porque era a nosa cultura, na nosa cultura matábase aos xemelgos.

So what is the point of culture?

De modo que, cal é o sentido da cultura?

I mean there's the decorative,

Quero dicir que temos adornos,

the dancing ...

bailes...

but also, culture really is about preservation and continuity of a people.

pero tamén, a cultura realmente trata da preservación e a continuidade dun pobo.

In my family,

Na miña familia,

I am the child who is most interested in the story of who we are,

eu son a nena máis interesada na nosa historia,

in our traditions,

nas nosas tradicións,

in the knowledge about ancestral lands.

no coñecemento sobre as terras ancestrais.

My brothers are not as interested as I am.

Os meus irmáns non están tan interesados coma min.

But I cannot participate,

Pero eu non podo participar,

I cannot go to umunna meetings,

non podo ir ás reunións Umunna,

I cannot have a say.

non podo ter unha opinión.

Because I'm female.

Porque son muller.

Culture does not make people,

A cultura non fai á xente,

people make culture.

a xente fai a cultura.

So if it is in fact true --

Así que, si é certo...

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

So if it is in fact true

Así que, si é certo que,

that the full humanity of women is not our culture,

a parte feminina da humanidade non é a nosa cultura,

then we must make it our culture.

entón temos que facer que sexa a nosa cultura.

I think very often of my dear friend, Okoloma Maduewesi.

Penso a miúdo no meu querido amigo, Okoloma Maduewesi.

May he and all the others who passed away in that Sosoliso crash

Que el e tódolos que morreron nese accidente de Sosoliso

continue to rest in peace.

sigan descansando en paz.

He will always be remembered by those of us who loved him.

El sempre será recordado por aqueles que o amábamos.

And he was right that day many years ago when he called me a feminist.

E tiña razón ese día, fai moitos anos, cando me chamou feminista.

I am a feminist.

Eu son feminista.

And when I looked up the word in the dictionary that day,

E cando busquei a palabra no dicionario ese día,

this is what it said:

isto é o que dicía:

"Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political

"Feminista: Persoa que cree na igualdade social, política

and economic equality of the sexes."

e económica dos sexos".

My great grandmother, from the stories I've heard,

A miña bisavoa, segundo as historias que oín,

was a feminist.

era unha feminista.

She ran away from the house of the man she did not want to marry

Ela escapou da casa do home con quen non quería casar

and ended up marrying the man of her choice.

e terminou casando cun home que escolleu ela.

She refused, she protested, she spoke up

Ela negouse, ela protestou, ela tomou a palabra

whenever she felt she was being deprived of access, of land, that sort of thing.

sempre que sentia que estaba a ser privada de algo, da terra, dese tipo de cousas.

My great grandmother did not know that word "feminist,"

A miña bisavoa non coñecía a palabra "feminista"

but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.

pero iso non quere dicir que ela non o fora.

More of us should reclaim that word.

A maioría de nós deberíamos recuperar esa palabra.

My own definition of feminist is:

A miña propia definición de feminista é:

"Feminista é un home o unha muller

"A feminist is a man or a woman

who says --

que di,

(Laughter)

(Risas)

(Applause)

(Aplausos)

A feminist is a man or a woman who says,

Feminista é un home o unha muller que di,

"Yes, there's a problem with gender as it is today,

"Si, temos un problema có xénero hoxe,

and we must fix it.

e temos que solucionalo.

We must do better."

Debemos facelo mellor ".

The best feminist I know

O mellor feminista que eu coñezo

is my brother Kene.

é o meu irmán Kene.

He's also a kind, good-looking, lovely man,

El tamén é un tipo ben parecido, un home encantador,

and he's very masculine.

e el é moi masculino.

Thank you.

Grazas.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)