Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists | TED

Prevoditelj: Jasna Matek Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

So I would like to start by telling you about one of my greatest friends,

Započela bih pričom o jednome od mojih najboljih prijatelja,

Okoloma Maduewesi.

ime mu je Okoloma Maduewesi.

Okoloma lived on my street

Okoloma je živio u mojoj ulici

and looked after me like a big brother.

i pazio me poput starijeg brata.

If I liked a boy, I would ask Okoloma's opinion.

Kad mi se netko sviđao, pitala bih Okolomu za mišljenje.

Okoloma died in the notorious Sosoliso plane crash

Okoloma je umro u velikoj avionskoj nesreći u Sosolisu

in Nigeria in December of 2005.

u Nigeriji, u prosincu 2005.

Almost exactly seven years ago.

Gotovo prije točno 7 godina.

Okoloma was a person I could argue with, laugh with and truly talk to.

Okoloma je bio osoba s kojom sam se mogla svađati, smijati i pričati.

He was also the first person to call me a feminist.

Također je bio prva osoba koja me prozvala feministom.

I was about fourteen, we were at his house, arguing.

Bilo mi je oko 14 godina, bili smo kod njega i svađali smo se.

Both of us bristling with half bit knowledge

Oboje nakostriješeni s polovičnim znanjem

from books that we had read.

iz knjiga koje smo pročitali.

I don't remember what this particular argument was about,

Ne sjećam se o čemu je točno ova prepirka bila,

but I remember that as I argued and argued,

ali sjećam se da sam se svađala i svađala...

Okoloma looked at me and said, "You know, you're a feminist."

Okoloma me pogledao i rekao, "Znaš, ti si feminist."

It was not a compliment.

To nije bio kompliment.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I could tell from his tone,

Mogla sam to shvatiti iz tona,

the same tone that you would use to say something like,

istog onog tona koji biste koristili da kažete nešto poput,

"You're a supporter of terrorism."

"Ti podržavaš terorizam."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I did not know exactly what this word "feminist" meant,

Nisam znala točno što znači ta riječ "feminist",

and I did not want Okoloma to know that I did not know.

a nisam htjela to Okolomi dati do znanja.

So I brushed it aside, and I continued to argue.

Pa sam to zanemarila i nastavila se prepirati.

And the first thing I planned to do when I got home

Prvo što sam planirala učiniti kad sam stigla kući

was to look up the word "feminist" in the dictionary.

bilo je provjeriti značenje riječi "feminist".

Now fast forward to some years later,

Nekoliko godina kasnije,

I wrote a novel about a man who among other things beats his wife

napisala sam roman o muškarcu koji, između ostalog, tuče suprugu

and whose story doesn't end very well.

i čija priča ne završi baš dobro.

While I was promoting the novel in Nigeria,

Dok sam promovirala roman u Nigeriji,

a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man,

novinar, drag čovjek dobrih namjera,

told me he wanted to advise me.

kaže mi da mi želi dati savjet.

And for the Nigerians here,

Nigerijcima danas ovdje

I'm sure we're all familiar

je sigurno poznato

with how quick our people are to give unsolicited advice.

kako brzo naši ljudi daju savjete koje nitko nije tražio.

He told me that people were saying that my novel was feminist

Rekao mi je da ljudi govore da je moj roman feministički

and his advice to me --

i njegov savjet meni --

and he was shaking his head sadly as he spoke --

tužno je odmahivao glavom dok je pričao --

was that I should never call myself a feminist

bio je da se ne smijem nazivati feministkinjom

because feminists are women who are unhappy

jer feministkinje su žene koje su nesretne

because they cannot find husbands.

jer ne mogu naći muža.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So I decided to call myself "a happy feminist."

Tako sam se odlučila nazivati "sretnom feministkinjom."

Then an academic, a Nigerian woman told me

Onda je obrazovana žena iz Nigerije rekla

that feminism was not our culture

da feminizam nije naša kultura

and that feminism wasn't African,

i da feminizam nije afrički,

and that I was calling myself a feminist

te da se nazivam feministkinjom

because I had been corrupted by "Western books."

jer su me pokvarile "zapadnjačke knjige."

Which amused me,

To me nasmijalo

because a lot of my early readings were decidedly unfeminist.

jer su mnoga djela koja sam tada čitala bila izraženo nefeministička.

I think I must have read every single Mills & Boon romance published

Mislim da sam pročitala sve do jednog Mills & Boon ljubića

before I was sixteen.

do svoje šesnaeste godine.

And each time I tried to read those books

I svaki put kad sam pokušala čitati knjige

called "the feminist classics,"

koje se nazivaju "feministički klasici",

I'd get bored, and I really struggled to finish them.

bilo bi mi dosadno i baš sam se mučila dovršiti ih.

But anyway, since feminism was un-African,

No, kako je feminizam bio neafrički,

I decided that I would now call myself "a happy African feminist."

odlučila sam da ću se od tada zvati "sretna afrička feministkinja."

At some point I was a happy African feminist who does not hate men

U jednom trenutku bila sam sretna afrička feministkinja koja ne mrzi muškarce

and who likes lip gloss

i koja voli sjajilo za usne

and who wears high heels for herself but not for men.

i koja nosi visoke pete za sebe a ne za muškarce.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Of course a lot of this was tongue-in-cheek,

Naravno da je većina ovoga bila u šali,

but that word feminist is so heavy with baggage, negative baggage.

ali ta riječ feminist nosi tako puno negativnosti.

You hate men, you hate bras,

Mrziš muškarce, mrziš grudnjake,

you hate African culture, that sort of thing.

mrziš afričku kulturu, u tom smislu.

Now here's a story from my childhood.

Sad da vam ispričam priču iz djetinjstva.

When I was in primary school,

Kad sam išla u osnovnu školu,

my teacher said at the beginning of term that she would give the class a test

učiteljica je početkom polugodišta rekla da će razredu dati test

and whoever got the highest score would be the class monitor.

i tko god bude imao najviše bodova taj će biti redar.

Now, class monitor was a big deal.

Redarstvo je bila velika stvar.

If you were a class monitor,

Kao redar

you got to write down the names of noisemakers --

zapisivali ste imena galamdžija --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

which was having enough power of its own.

što je samo po sebi velika moć.

But my teacher would also give you a cane to hold in your hand

No, učiteljica bi također dala i štap koji biste držali u ruci

while you walk around and patrol the class for noisemakers.

prilikom šetnje i patroliranja po učionici.

Now, of course you were not actually allowed to use the cane.

Naravno, nije bilo dozvoljeno koristiti štap,

But it was an exciting prospect for the nine-year-old me.

ali za devetogodišnju mene to je bila uzbudljiva pomisao.

I very much wanted to be the class monitor.

Itekako sam željela biti redar.

And I got the highest score on the test.

I dobila sam najviše bodova u tom testu.

Then, to my surprise, my teacher said that the monitor had to be a boy.

Zatim je, na moje iznenađenje, učiteljica rekla da redar mora biti dečko.

She had forgotten to make that clear earlier

Zaboravila je to pojasniti ranije

because she assumed it was ... obvious.

jer je pretpostavljala da je ... očito.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

A boy had the second highest score on the test,

Dječak je imao drugi najviši rezultat u testu

and he would be monitor.

i on će postati redar.

Now, what was even more interesting about this

Ono što je još zanimljivije u ovom slučaju

is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul

je da je dječak bio slatka nježna duša

who had no interest in patrolling the class with the cane,

koju nije zanimalo patroliranje po razredu sa štapom

while I was full of ambition to do so.

dok sam ja imala sve ambicije za to.

But I was female and he was male,

No, ja sam žensko, a on je muško,

and so he became the class monitor.

pa je tako on postao redar.

And I've never forgotten that incident.

Nikad nisam zaboravila taj incident.

I often make the mistake of thinking

Često pogriješim misleći

that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.

da je ono što je meni očito jednako očito i svima drugima.

Now, take my dear friend Louis

Uzmimo, za primjer,

for example.

mog prijatelja Louisa.

Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,

Louis je briljantan progresivan muškarac

and we would have conversations and he would tell me,

s kojim bih vodila razgovore i rekao bi mi,

"I don't know what you mean by things being different or harder for women.

"Ne znam kako to misliš da je ženama drugačije ili teže.

Maybe in the past, but not now."

Možda nekad prije, ali ne sada."

And I didn't understand how Louis could not see what seems so self-evident.

Nisam razumjela kako Louis nije vidio ono što se činilo očitim.

Then one evening, in Lagos, Louis and I went out with friends.

Onda smo jedne večeri, u Lagosu, Louis i ja izašli s prijateljima.

And for people here who are not familiar with Lagos,

Za vas koji niste upoznati s Lagosom,

there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,

postoji jedna predivna stalna pojava,

the sprinkling of energetic men who hang around outside establishments

nekolicina energičnih muškaraca koji se smucaju ispred ustanova

and very dramatically "help" you park your car.

i dramatično vam "pomažu" parkirati vaš automobil.

I was impressed with the particular theatrics

Zadivila me ta posebna teatralnost

of the man who found us a parking spot that evening.

muškarca koji nam je našao parkirno mjesto tu večer.

And so as we were leaving, I decided to leave him a tip.

Na odlasku sam mu odlučila dati napojnicu.

I opened my bag,

Otvorila sam svoju torbu,

put my hand inside my bag,

posegnula unutra,

brought out my money that I had earned from doing my work,

izvadila svoj novac koji sam zaradila na svome poslu

and I gave it to the man.

i dala ga muškarcu.

And he, this man who was very grateful and very happy,

A taj muškarac koji je bio jako zahvalan i sretan,

took the money from me,

uzeo je novac od mene,

looked across at Louis

pogledao Louisa

and said, "Thank you, sir!"

i rekao "Hvala Vam, gospodine!"

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Louis looked at me, surprised,

Louis me pogledao, iznenađen,

and asked, "Why is he thanking me? I didn't give him the money."

i upitao, "Zašto meni zahvaljuje? Nisam mu ja dao novac."

Then I saw realization dawn on Louis' face.

Tada sam na Louisovom licu uočila da počinje shvaćati.

The man believed that whatever money I had

Muškarac je vjerovao da novac koji mu ja dajem

had ultimately come from Louis.

mora svakako dolaziti od Louisa.

Because Louis is a man.

Jer, Louis je muškarac.

Men and women are different.

Muškarci i žene su različiti.

We have different hormones, we have different sexual organs,

Imamo različite hormone, različite seksualne organe,

we have different biological abilities.

različite biološke sposobnosti.

Women can have babies, men can't.

Žene mogu roditi, muškarci ne.

At least not yet.

Barem, ne zasad.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Men have testosterone and are in general physically stronger than women.

Muškarci imaju testosteron i općenito su fizički snažniji od žena.

There's slightly more women than men in the world,

Nešto je više žena nego muškaraca na svijetu,

about 52 percent of the world's population is female.

oko 52 posto svjetske populacije su žene.

But most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men.

No, većinu moćnih i prestižnih mjesta zauzimaju muškarci.

The late Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate,

Pokojna kenijska nobelovka,

Wangari Maathai,

Wangari Maathai,

put it simply and well when she said:

rekla je jednostavno i sažeto:

"The higher you go, the fewer women there are."

"Što više ideš, manje je žena."

In the recent US elections we kept hearing of the Lilly Ledbetter law,

Tijekom američkih izbora, stalno se spominjao Zakon Lilly Ledbetter,

and if we go beyond the nicely alliterative name of that law,

a ako pogledamo poviše lijepog aliterativnog imena tog zakona,

it was really about a man and a woman

zapravo se radi o muškarcu i ženi

doing the same job, being equally qualified,

koji rade isti posao, s jednakim kvalifikacijama,

and the man being paid more because he's a man.

a muškarac je plaćen više jer je muškarac.

So in the literal way, men rule the world,

Tako da, doslovno, muškarci vladaju svijetom,

and this made sense a thousand years ago

što je imalo smisla prije tisuću godina

because human beings lived then in a world

jer su ljudska bića živjela u svijetu

in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival.

u kojem je fizička snaga bila najvažniji atribut za opstanak.

The physically stronger person was more likely to lead,

Fizički snažnija osoba je imala više šanse za vodstvo,

and men, in general, are physically stronger.

a muškarci, općenito, jesu fizički snažniji.

Of course there are many exceptions.

Naravno, ima puno iznimki.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But today we live in a vastly different world.

No, danas živimo u bitno drugačijem svijetu.

The person more likely to lead is not the physically stronger person;

Osoba koja ima najveće šanse za vodstvo nije fizički snažnija osoba;

it is the more creative person, the more intelligent person,

to je osoba koja je kreativnija, osoba koja je inteligentnija,

the more innovative person,

osoba koja je inovativnija,

and there are no hormones for those attributes.

a za te atribute ne postoje hormoni.

A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent,

Muškarac ima jednake šanse da bude inteligentan,

to be creative, to be innovative.

da bude kreativan, da bude inovativan.

We have evolved;

Evoluirali smo;

but it seems to me that our ideas of gender had not evolved.

ali čini mi se da nam ideje o rodu nisu evoluirale.

Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels.

Prije nekoliko tjedana, ušla sam u jedan od najboljih nigerijskih hotela.

I thought about naming the hotel, but I thought I probably shouldn't.

Htjela sam osloviti hotel, ali mislim da ipak ne bih trebala.

And a guard at the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying questions,

Zaštitar na ulazu me zaustavio i postavljao mi neprijatna pitanja

because their automatic assumption is

jer je njegova automatska pretpostavka

that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.

bila da je nigerijka koja sama dolazi u hotel - prostitutka.

And by the way,

Usput,

why do these hotels focus on the ostensible supply

zašto se ti hoteli fokusiraju na navodnu ponudu

rather than the demand for sex workers?

umjesto na potražnju za prostitutkama?

In Lagos I cannot go alone into many "reputable" bars and clubs.

U Lagosu ne mogu sama ući u mnoge "ugledne" barove i klubove.

They just don't let you in if you're a woman alone,

Ne puštaju žene same unutra,

you have to be accompanied by a man.

mora vas pratiti muškarac.

Each time I walk into a Nigerian restaurant with a man,

Svaki put kad uđem u nigerijski restoran s muškarcem,

the waiter greets the man and ignores me.

konobar pozdravi muškarca, a mene ignorira.

The waiters are products --

Konobari su proizvod --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

At this some women felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"

Sad su neke žene pomislile, "Da! To i ja mislim!"

The waiters are products of a society

Konobari su proizvodi društva

that has taught them that men are more important than women.

koje ih je naučilo da su muškarci važniji od žena.

And I know that waiters don't intend any harm.

Znam da konobari ne misle ništa zlo.

But it's one thing to know intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally.

No, jedno je znati to intelektualno, a sasvim drugo osjetiti to emocionalno.

Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible.

Svaki put kad me ignoriraju osjećam se nevidljivom.

I feel upset.

Uzrujam se.

I want to tell them that I am just as human as the man,

Želim im reći da sam i ja jednako tako čovjek kao i muškarac,

that I'm just as worthy of acknowledgment.

da jednako tako zavrjeđujem priznanje.

These are little things,

To su sitnice,

but sometimes it's the little things that sting the most.

ali ponekad sitnice najjače bole.

And not long ago, I wrote an article

Nedavno sam napisala članak

about what it means to be young and female in Lagos,

o tome što to znači biti mlada žena u Lagosu

and the printers told me,

i izdavači su mi rekli,

"It was so angry."

"Zvuči tako ljutito."

Of course it was angry!

Naravno da je ljutito!

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I am angry.

Ja jesam ljuta.

Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice.

Rod onako kako funkcionira danas je strašna nepravda.

We should all be angry.

Svi bismo trebali biti ljuti.

Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change;

Ljutnja ima dugu povijest povlačenja pozitivne promjene;

but, in addition to being angry, I'm also hopeful.

no, uz to što sam ljuta, također sam puna nade.

Because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings

Duboko vjerujem u sposobnost ljudskih bića

to make and remake themselves for the better.

da budu bolji.

Gender matters everywhere in the world,

Rod je važan svugdje u svijetu,

but I want to focus on Nigeria

ali želim se fokusirati na Nigeriju

and on Africa in general,

i na Afriku općenito,

because it is where I know, and because it is where my heart is.

jer to poznajem i zato što mi je tamo srce.

And I would like today to ask

Danas želim zamoliti

that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world,

da počnemo sanjati i planirati drugačiji svijet,

a fairer world,

pošteniji svijet,

a world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves.

svijet sretnijih muškaraca i žena koji su vjerniji sami sebi.

And this is how to start:

Evo kako početi:

we must raise our daughters differently.

moramo naše kćerke odgajati drugačije.

We must also raise our sons differently.

Moramo također i naše sinove odgajati drugačije.

We do a great disservice to boys on how we raise them;

Ne činimo uslugu dječacima s obzirom na to kako ih odgajamo;

we stifle the humanity of boys.

gušimo ljudskost dječaka.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way,

Imamo jako usku definiciju muževnosti

masculinity becomes this hard, small cage

tako da ona postaje čvrst mali kavez

and we put boys inside the cage.

u koji stavljamo dječake.

We teach boys to be afraid of fear.

Učimo dječake da se boje straha.

We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability.

Učimo dječake da se boje slabosti, osjetljivosti.

We teach them to mask their true selves,

Učimo ih da prikriju svoje pravo ja,

because they have to be, in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"

jer moraju biti, kako kažu u Nigeriji, "čvrsti muškarci!"

In secondary school, a boy and a girl, both of them teenagers,

U srednjoj školi, dječak i djevojčica, oboje tinejdžeri,

both of them with the same amount of pocket money, would go out

oboje s istim džeparcem, izašli bi

and then the boy would be expected always to pay,

i onda bi se uvijek od dječaka očekivalo da plati

to prove his masculinity.

kako bi dokazao svoju muževnost.

And yet we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.

A ipak se pitamo zašto dječaci češće kradu novac od svojih roditelja.

What if both boys and girls were raised

Što da su i dječaci i djevojčice odgajani

not to link masculinity with money?

tako da ne povezuju muževnost s novcem?

What if the attitude was not "the boy has to pay"

Što da stav nije "dečko mora platiti"

but rather "whoever has more should pay?"

nego "tko god ima više treba platiti?"

Now, of course because of that historical advantage,

Naravno, zbog te povijesne prednosti,

it is mostly men who will have more today,

uglavnom su muškarci ti koji danas imaju više,

but if we start raising children differently,

ali počnemo li djecu odgajati drugačije,

then in fifty years, in a hundred years,

onda za pedeset ili sto godina

boys will no longer have the pressure of having to prove this masculinity.

dječaci više neće biti pod pritiskom da dokažu svoju muževnost.

But by far the worst thing we do to males,

No, daleko najgore što činimo muškima,

by making them feel that they have to be hard,

čineći da osjećaju da moraju biti čvrsti,

is that we leave them with very fragile egos.

je to što im usađujemo jako krhki ego.

The more "hard man" the man feels compelled to be,

Što više muškarac osjeća da mora biti "čvrst",

the weaker his ego is.

to mu je slabiji ego.

And then we do a much greater disservice to girls

Zatim činimo još veću štetu djevojčicama,

because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of men.

jer ih odgajamo da služe tom krhkom egu.

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller,

Učimo djevojčice da se stisnu, da se učine manjima,

we say to girls,

kažemo djevojčicama,

"You can have ambition, but not too much."

"Možeš imati ambicije, ali ne previše."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"You should aim to be successful, but not too successful,

"Moraš ciljati na to da budeš uspješna, ali ne preuspješna,

otherwise you would threaten the man."

inače ćeš biti prijetnja muškarcu."

If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man,

Ako u vezi s muškarcem si ti hranitelj,

you have to pretend that you're not,

moraš se praviti da nije tako,

especially in public,

pogotovo u javnosti,

otherwise you will emasculate him.

inače ćeš ga uškopiti.

But what if we question the premise itself?

No, što ako preispitamo samu pretpostavku?

Why should a woman's success be a threat to a man?

Zašto bi ženin uspjeh trebao biti prijetnja muškarcu?

What if we decide to simply dispose of that word,

Što ako odlučimo jednostavno se riješiti te riječi,

and I don't think there's an English word I dislike more than "emasculation."

a mislim da nijednu englesku riječ ne volim manje od "emaskulacije."

A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me

Jedan poznanik iz Nigerije me jednom upitao

if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me.

brinem li se što će me se muškarci strašiti.

I was not worried at all.

Nisam se uopće brinula.

In fact, it had not occurred to me to be worried

Zapravo, nije mi ni palo na pamet da se bojim

because a man who would be intimidated by me

jer muškarac koji bi se plašio mene

is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.

nije nikako muškarac za kakvog bi se ja zanimala.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

But still I was really struck by this.

No, ipak me ovo iznenadilo.

Because I'm female, I'm expected to aspire to marriage;

Zato što sam žensko, očekuje se da težim braku;

I'm expected to make my life choices

očekuje se da donosim životne odluke

always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important.

uvijek imajući na umu da je brak najvažniji.

A marriage can be a good thing;

Brak može biti dobra stvar;

it can be a source of joy and love and mutual support.

može biti izvor veselja i ljubavi i međusobne podrške.

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

Ali zašto učimo djevojčice da teže braku,

and we don't teach boys the same?

a ne učimo dječake istu stvar?

I know a woman who decided to sell her house

Poznajem ženu koja je odlučila prodati kuću

because she didn't want to intimidate a man who might marry her.

jer nije htjela zastrašiti muškarca koji bi je mogao oženiti.

I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria who, when she goes to conferences,

Poznajem neudanu ženu u Nigeriji koja, kad ide na sastanke,

wears a wedding ring

nosi vjenčani prsten

because according to her,

jer, kako tvrdi,

she wants the other participants in the conference to "give her respect."

želi da je ostali sudionici "poštuju."

I know young women who are under so much pressure

Poznajem žene na koje obitelj, prijatelji i kolege

from family, from friends, even from work to get married,

stavljaju toliki pritisak da se udaju

and they're pushed to make terrible choices.

i tjeraju ih na grozne odluke.

A woman at a certain age who is unmarried,

Neudanu ženu u određenoj dobi

our society teaches her to see it as a deep, personal failure.

naše društvo uči da na to gleda kao veliki osobni promašaj.

And a man at a certain age who is unmarried,

A za neoženjenog muškarca određene dobi

we just think he hasn't come around to making his pick.

mislimo samo da još nije odabrao.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

It's easy for us to say,

Lako nam je reći,

"Oh, but women can just say no to all of this."

"Ali žene jednostavno mogu odbiti sve to."

But the reality is more difficult and more complex.

No, realnost je puno teža i kompleksnija.

We're all social beings.

Svi smo mi društvena bića.

We internalize ideas from our socialization.

Usađujemo si i oponašamo ideje iz društva.

Even the language we use

Čak i jezik koji koristimo

in talking about marriage and relationships illustrates this.

pričajući o braku i vezama to ilustrira.

The language of marriage is often the language of ownership

Jezik braka je često jezik vlasništva

rather than the language of partnership.

prije nego jezik partnerstva.

We use the word "respect"

Koristimo riječ "poštovanje"

to mean something a woman shows a man

čime mislimo na nešto što žena pokazuje muškarcu

but often not something a man shows a woman.

ali često ne ono što muškarac pokazuje ženi.

Both men and women in Nigeria will say --

I muškarci i žene u Nigeriji će reći --

this is an expression I'm very amused by --

to je izraz koji me jako nasmijava --

"I did it for peace in my marriage."

"Učinio ili učinila sam to za mir u braku."

Now, when men say it,

Kad muškarci to kažu,

it is usually about something that they should not be doing anyway.

obično se radi o nečemu što ionako ne bi trebali činiti.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Sometimes they say it to their friends,

Ponekad to kažu svojim prijateljima,

it's something to say to their friends in a kind of fondly exasperated way,

to je nešto što im kažu na ogorčen način,

you know, something that ultimately proves how masculine they are,

znate, nešto što u konačnici dokazuje koliko ste muževni,

how needed, how loved.

koliko ste potrebni i voljeni.

"Oh, my wife said I can't go to the club every night,

"Žena mi je rekla da ne mogu izaći u klub svaku večer

so for peace in my marriage, I do it only on weekends."

pa zbog mira u braku idem samo vikendima."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, when a woman says, "I did it for peace in my marriage,"

No, kad žena kaže, "Učinila sam to zbog mira u braku,"

she's usually talking about giving up a job,

obično govori o davanju otkaza na poslu,

a dream,

odustajanju od sna,

a career.

od karijere.

We teach females that in relationships,

Učimo žene da je u vezama

compromise is what women do.

kompromis nešto što žene čine.

We raise girls to see each other as competitors --

Učimo cure da gledaju jedna na drugu kao suparnice

not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing,

ne zbog posla ili postignuća, što mislim da može biti pozitivno,

but for attention of men.

nego zbog pozornosti muškaraca.

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings

Učimo cure da ne smiju biti seksualna bića

in the way that boys are.

na način na koji su to dečki.

If we have sons, we don't mind knowing about our sons' girlfriends.

Ako imamo sinove, ne smeta nam znati o sinovim curama.

But our daughters' boyfriends? God forbid.

Ali kćerkini dečki? Ne daj Bože.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But of course when the time is right,

Naravno, kad dođe vrijeme,

we expect those girls to bring back the perfect man to be their husbands.

očekujemo od tih cura da dovedu savršenog muškarca za supruga.

We police girls, we praise girls for virginity,

Nadziremo cure, hvalimo njihovo djevičanstvo,

but we don't praise boys for virginity,

ali ne hvalimo dečke zbog djevičanstva,

and it's always made me wonder how exactly this is supposed to work out because ...

i uvijek sam se pitala kako bi to točno trebalo ići jer ...

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I mean, the loss of virginity is usually a process that involves ...

Mislim, gubitak djevičanstva je obično proces koji uključuje ...

Recently a young woman was gang raped in a university in Nigeria,

Nedavno je mladu ženu silovala grupa u sveučilištu u Nigeriji,

I think some of us know about that.

mislim da neki od vas znaju za to.

And the response of many young Nigerians, both male and female,

Odgovor mnogih nigerijaca, muškaraca i žena,

was something along the lines of this:

bio je nešto slično ovome:

"Yes, rape is wrong.

"Da, silovanje nije u redu.

But what is a girl doing in a room with four boys?"

Ali što je cura radila u sobi sa četiri dečka?"

Now, if we can forget the horrible inhumanity of that response,

Zaboravimo li na strašnu nehumanost tog odgovora,

these Nigerians have been raised to think of women as inherently guilty,

ovi nigerijci su odgojeni da smatraju žene vječno krivima,

and they have been raised to expect so little of men

i odgojeni su da očekuju tako malo od muškaraca

that the idea of men as savage beings without any control

da je ideja da su muškarci kao divljaci bez kontrole

is somehow acceptable.

nekako prihvatljiva.

We teach girls shame.

Učimo cure sramu.

"Close your legs." "Cover yourself."

"Skupi noge." "Pokrij se."

We make them feel as though by being born female

Činimo da osjećaju da su time što su rođene kao žensko

they're already guilty of something.

već krive za nešto.

And so, girls grow up to be women

Tako, učimo cure da odrastu u žene

who cannot see they have desire.

koje ne smiju imati potrebe.

They grow up to be women who silence themselves.

Odrastu u žene koje se utišavaju.

They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think,

Odrastu u žene koje ne smiju reći što zapravo misle

and they grow up --

i odrastu --

and this is the worst thing we did to girls --

a ovo je najgore što smo učinili curama --

they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.

odrastu u žene koje su od pretvaranja učinile umjetnost.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I know a woman who hates domestic work,

Poznajem ženu koja mrzi kućanske poslove,

she just hates it,

jednostavno to mrzi,

but she pretends that she likes it,

ali se pretvara da to voli,

because she's been taught that to be "good wife material"

jer su je naučili da bi postala "dobar materijal za ženidbu"

she has to be -- to use that Nigerian word --

mora biti --

very "homely."

"prosta i jednostavna."

And then she got married,

A kad se udala,

and after a while her husband's family began to complain that she had changed.

nedugo poslije joj je muževa obitelj počela prigovarati da se promijenila.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Actually, she had not changed,

Zapravo, nije se promijenila,

she just got tired of pretending.

samo joj je dosadilo pretvarati se.

The problem with gender,

Problem s rodom

is that it prescribes how we should be

je to što preporučuje kakvi bismo trebali biti

rather than recognizing how we are.

umjesto da uočavamo kakvi jesmo.

Now imagine how much happier we would be,

Zamislite koliko bismo bili sretniji,

how much freer to be our true individual selves,

koliko bismo bili slobodniji da smo vjerni sami sebi,

if we didn't have the weight of gender expectations.

da ne nosimo teret rodnih očekivanja.

Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically,

Dječaci i djevojčice su nedvojbeno biološki različiti,

but socialization exaggerates the differences

ali društvo pretjeruje u razlikama

and then it becomes a self-fulfilling process.

i onda to postane samoispunjenje.

Now, take cooking for example.

Uzmimo za primjer kuhanje.

Today women in general are more likely to do the housework than men,

Danas žene češće rade domaćinske poslove nego muškarci,

the cooking and cleaning.

kuhanje i čišćenje.

But why is that?

Zašto je to tako?

Is it because women are born with a cooking gene?

Je li to zato što se žene rađaju s genom za kuhanje?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Or because over years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role?

Ili zato što ih je društvo naučilo da gledaju na kuhanje kao na svoju ulogu?

Actually, I was going to say that maybe women are born with a cooking gene,

Zapravo, htjela sam reći da su žene možda rođene s genom za kuhanje

until I remember that the majority of the famous cooks in the world,

dok se nisam sjetila da su većina slavnih svjetskih kuhara,

whom we give the fancy title of "chefs,"

kojima dajemo tu blještavu titulu "šefa,"

are men.

muškarci.

I used to look up to my grandmother

Znala sam se diviti svojoj baki

who was a brilliant, brilliant woman,

koja je bila briljantna žena,

and wonder how she would have been

i pitala sam se kakva bi bila

if she had the same opportunities as men when she was growing up.

da je imala iste prilike kao muškarci dok je odrastala.

Now today, there are many more opportunities for women

Danas, mislim da žene imaju puno više prilika

than there were during my grandmother's time

nego što su ih imale za života moje bake

because of changes in policy, changes in law,

zbog promjena u politici i pravu,

all of which are very important.

što je sve vrlo bitno.

But what matters even more is our attitude, our mindset,

No, što je bitnije, je naš stav, naši nazori,

what we believe and what we value about gender.

što vjerujemo i što cijenimo kod roda.

What if in raising children

Što kad bi se kod odgoja djece

we focus on ability instead of gender?

usredotočili na sposobnost umjesto na rod?

What if in raising children we focus on interest instead of gender?

Što kad bi se kod odgoja djece usredotočili na interese umjesto na rod?

I know a family who have a son and a daughter,

Poznajem obitelj koja ima sina i kćer,

both of whom are brilliant at school,

oboje su odlični u školi,

who are wonderful, lovely children.

divna, krasna djeca.

When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl,

Kad je dečko gladan, roditelji kažu curi,

"Go and cook Indomie noodles for your brother."

"Idi skuhaj Indomie tjesteninu svome bratu."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, the daughter doesn't particularly like to cook Indomie noodles,

Kćerka baš i ne voli kuhati Indomie tjesteninu,

but she's a girl, and so she has to.

ali ona je cura pa to mora.

Now, what if the parents,

Što da su roditelji

from the beginning,

od početka

taught both the boy and the girl to cook Indomie?

učili i dečka i curu da kuhaju Indomie?

Cooking, by the way, is a very useful skill for boys to have.

Kuhanje je, usput, vrlo korisna vještina za sve dečke.

I've never thought it made sense to leave such a crucial thing,

Nisam nikad mislila da ima smisla ostaviti tako važnu stvar,

the ability to nourish oneself --

sposobnost prehranjivanja samoga sebe

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

in the hands of others.

u rukama drugih.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I know a woman who has the same degree and the same job as her husband.

Poznajem ženu koja ima istu diplomu i isti posao kao i njen suprug.

When they get back from work, she does most of the housework,

Kad se vrate s posla, ona radi većinu kućanskog posla,

which I think is true for many marriages.

što mislim da važi za mnoge brakove.

But what struck me about them

Ono što me se najviše dojmilo

was that whenever her husband changed the baby's diaper,

je što kad god je njen suprug promijenio bebinu pelenu,

she said "thank you" to him.

ona bi mu rekla "hvala".

Now, what if she saw this as perfectly normal and natural

Što da je gledala na to kao da je sasvim normalno i prirodno

that he should, in fact, care for his child?

da bi se, zapravo, trebao brinuti za svoje dijete?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I'm trying to unlearn many of the lessons of gender

Pokušavam se odučiti od mnogih lekcija o rodu

that I internalized when I was growing up.

koje su mi usađene dok sam odrastala.

But I sometimes still feel very vulnerable in the face of gender expectations.

No, ponekad se još uvijek osjećam ranjivom u odnosu na rodna očekivanja.

The first time I taught a writing class in graduate school,

Prvi put kad sam podučavala pisanje na fakultetu,

I was worried.

brinula sam se.

I wasn't worried about the material I would teach

Nisam se brinula zbog onoga što sam predavala

because I was well-prepared,

jer sam se dobro pripremila

and I was going to teach what I enjoy teaching.

i išla sam podučavati ono što volim podučavati.

Instead, I was worried about what to wear.

Umjesto toga, brinula sam se što obući.

I wanted to be taken seriously.

Htjela sam da me shvate ozbiljno.

I knew that because I was female

Znala sam da zato što sam žensko

I will automatically have to prove my worth.

automatski ću morati dokazati svoju vrijednost.

And I was worried that if I looked too feminine,

Brinula sam se da ako izgledam previše ženstveno

I would not be taken seriously.

neće me shvatiti ozbiljno.

I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt,

Zapravo sam htjela nanijeti sjajilo za usne i obući suknju,

but I decided not to.

ali odlučila sam ipak to ne učiniti.

Instead, I wore a very serious,

Umjesto toga, obukla sam jako ozbiljno,

very manly and very ugly suit.

jako muževno i jako ružno odijelo.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Because the sad truth is that when it comes to appearance

Jer, tužna je istina što se tiče izgleda,

we start off with men as the standard, as the norm.

da su nam muškarci standard i norma.

If a man is getting ready for a business meeting,

Kad se muškarac sprema za poslovni sastanak,

he doesn't worry about looking too masculine

on se ne brine izgleda li premuževno

and therefore not being taken for granted.

i ne pita se hoće li ga shvatiti ozbiljno.

If a woman has to get ready for business meeting,

Kad se žena sprema za poslovni sastanak,

she has to worry about looking too feminine

mora se brinuti izgleda li preženstveno

and what it says and whether or not she will be taken seriously.

i kakvu to poruku šalje i hoće li je shvatiti ozbiljno.

I wish I had not worn that ugly suit that day.

Voljela bih da nisam obukla to ružno odijelo.

I've actually banished it from my closet, by the way.

Usput, zapravo sam ga prognala iz svog ormara.

Had I then the confidence that I have now to be myself,

Da sam tad imala samopouzdanje koje sad imam da budem svoja,

my students would have benefited even more from my teaching,

moji studenti bi imali još više koristi od mojih predavanja,

because I would have been more comfortable

jer bi mi bilo ugodnije

and more fully and more truly myself.

i bila bih ona prava, istinska ja.

I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness

Odlučila sam više se ne ispričavati za svoju ženskost

and for my femininity.

i svoju ženstvenost.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness

Željela sam da me poštuju u svoj svojoj ženskosti

because I deserve to be.

jer to zaslužujem.

Gender is not an easy conversation to have.

Nije lako pričati o rodu.

For both men and women,

I muškarcima i ženama

to bring up gender is sometimes to encounter almost immediate resistance.

spomenuti rod ponekad znači naići na gotovo trenutni otpor.

I can imagine some people here are actually thinking,

Mogu zamisliti da neki ljudi ovdje zapravo misle,

"Women too do sef."

"Da čak i žene budu vjerne samima sebi?"

Some of the men here might be thinking,

Neki muškarci ovdje možda misle,

"OK, all of this is interesting,

"OK, to je sve zanimljivo,

but I don't think like that."

ali ja ne razmišljam tako."

And that is part of the problem.

I to je dio problema.

That many men do not actively think about gender

To da mnogi muškarci ne razmišljaju aktivno o rodu

or notice gender

niti primjećuju da je rod

is part of the problem of gender.

dio rodnog pitanja.

That many men, say, like my friend Louis,

Da mnogi muškarci kažu, kao moj prijatelj Louis,

that everything is fine now.

da je sad sve u redu.

And that many men do nothing to change it.

I da mnogi muškarci ne čine ništa da to promijene.

If you are a man and you walk into a restaurant with a woman

Ako ste muškarac i ušetate u restoran sa ženom,

and the waiter greets only you,

a konobar pozdravi samo vas,

does it occur to you to ask the waiter,

padne li vam na pamet da pitate konobara

"Why haven't you greeted her?"

"Zašto niste nju pozdravili?"

Because gender can be --

Jer rod može biti --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Actually, we may repose part of a longer version of this talk.

Zapravo, možda smo zašli u dužu verziju ovog govora.

So, because gender can be a very uncomfortable conversation to have,

Kako razgovor o rodu može biti jako neugodan,

there are very easy ways to close it, to close the conversation.

postoje jednostavni načini da ga se zaključi.

So some people will bring up evolutionary biology and apes,

Neki će spomenuti evolucijsku biologiju i majmune,

how, you know, female apes bow down to male apes

kako se, znate, majmunice klanjaju majmunima

and that sort of thing.

i tome slično.

But the point is we're not apes.

Ali, bit je u tome da mi nismo majmuni.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Apes also live on trees and have earthworms for breakfast,

Majmuni također žive na stablima i za doručak jedu crve,

and we don't.

a mi ne.

Some people will say, "Well, poor men also have a hard time."

Neki će reći, "Pa, jadni muškarci - i njima je teško."

And this is true.

I to je točno.

But that is not what this --

No, to nije ono o čemu --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But this is not what this conversation is about.

To nije ono o čemu se ovdje radi.

Gender and class are different forms of oppression.

Rod i klasa su različiti oblici opresije.

I actually learned quite a bit about systems of oppression

Zapravo sam dosta naučila o sustavima opresije

and how they can be blind to one another

i o tome kako mogu biti slijepi jedan prema drugome

by talking to black men.

pričajući sa crncima.

I was once talking to a black man about gender

Jednom sam pričala sa crncem o rodu

and he said to me,

i rekao mi je,

"Why do you have to say 'my experience as a woman'?

"Zašto moraš reći 'moje iskustvo kao žena'?

Why can't it be

Zašto ne bi bilo

'your experience as a human being'?"

"tvoje iskustvo kao ljudsko biće'?"

Now, this was the same man

To je isti muškarac

who would often talk about his experience as a black man.

koji bi često pričao o svojem iskustvu kao crnca.

Gender matters.

Rod je bitan.

Men and women experience the world differently.

Muškarci i žene različito doživljavaju svijet.

Gender colors the way we experience the world.

Rod oslikava način na koji doživljavamo svijet.

But we can change that.

Ali, možemo to promijeniti.

Some people will say,

Neki će reći,

"Oh, but women have the real power,

"Ali, žene imaju stvarnu moć,

bottom power."

moć pozadine."

And for non-Nigerians, bottom power is an expression

Za vas koji niste iz Nigerije, moć pozadine je izraz

which I suppose means something like a woman

koji znači nešto kao ženino korištenje seksualnosti

who uses her sexuality to get favors from men.

radi koristi od muškaraca.

But bottom power is not power at all.

Moć pozadine uopće nije moć.

Bottom power means that a woman

Moć pozadine znači da žena

simply has a good root to tap into, from time to time --

jednostavno ima dobar način da, s vremena na vrijeme --

somebody else's power.

iskoristi moći nekog drugog.

And then, of course, we have to wonder

Zatim se, naravno, moramo zapitati

what happens when that somebody else is in a bad mood,

što se događa kad je taj netko drugi loše volje

or sick

ili bolestan

or impotent.

ili impotentan.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Some people will say that a woman being subordinate to a man is our culture.

Neki će reći da je to naša kultura da žena bude podređena muškarcu.

But culture is constantly changing.

Ali, kultura se stalno mijenja.

I have beautiful twin nieces who are fifteen and live in Lagos.

Imam predivne nećakinje blizanke kojima je petnaest i žive u Lagosu.

If they had been born a hundred years ago

Da su se rodile prije sto godina

they would have been taken away and killed.

odveli bi ih i ubili.

Because it was our culture, it was our culture to kill twins.

Jer je to bila naša kultura, kultura je bila ubijati blizance.

So what is the point of culture?

Pa, koji je smisao kulture?

I mean there's the decorative,

Mislim, postoji dekorativno,

the dancing ...

ples ...

but also, culture really is about preservation and continuity of a people.

ali, isto tako, kultura je očuvanje i kontinuitet naroda.

In my family,

U mojoj obitelji,

I am the child who is most interested in the story of who we are,

ja sam ono dijete koje se najviše zanima za priču o tome tko smo,

in our traditions,

u našim tradicijama,

in the knowledge about ancestral lands.

u znanju o drevnim zemljama.

My brothers are not as interested as I am.

Moju braću to ne zanima kao mene.

But I cannot participate,

Ali, ja ne mogu sudjelovati,

I cannot go to umunna meetings,

ne mogu ići na umunna sastanke,

I cannot have a say.

nemam pravo glasa.

Because I'm female.

Zato što sam žensko.

Culture does not make people,

Kultura ne čini ljude,

people make culture.

ljudi čine kulturu.

So if it is in fact true --

Pa, ako je istina --

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

So if it is in fact true

Ako je istina --

that the full humanity of women is not our culture,

da puna ljudskost žena nije naša kultura,

then we must make it our culture.

tada moramo učiniti da to postane.

I think very often of my dear friend, Okoloma Maduewesi.

Često mislim na svog dragog prijatelja, Okolomu Maduewesija.

May he and all the others who passed away in that Sosoliso crash

Neka on i svi ostali koji su poginuli u toj nesreći u Sosolisou

continue to rest in peace.

nastave počivati u miru.

He will always be remembered by those of us who loved him.

Mi koji smo ga voljeli uvijek ćemo ga se sjećati.

And he was right that day many years ago when he called me a feminist.

I imao je pravo onoga dana kad me prozvao feministkinjom.

I am a feminist.

Ja jesam feministkinja.

And when I looked up the word in the dictionary that day,

I kad sam potražila tu riječ u rječniku toga dana,

this is what it said:

pisalo je ovo:

"Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political

Feminist: osoba koja vjeruje u društvenu, političku

and economic equality of the sexes."

i ekonomsku jednakost među spolovima."

My great grandmother, from the stories I've heard,

Moja prabaka je, prema pričama koje sam čula,

was a feminist.

bila feminist.

She ran away from the house of the man she did not want to marry

Pobjegla je iz kuće muškarca za kojeg se nije htjela udati

and ended up marrying the man of her choice.

i udala se za muškarca po svojem izboru.

She refused, she protested, she spoke up

Odbila je, protestirala je, progovorila je

whenever she felt she was being deprived of access, of land, that sort of thing.

kad god je smatrala da joj se uskraćuje pristup, zemljište i slično.

My great grandmother did not know that word "feminist,"

Moja prabaka nije poznavala tu riječ "feminist,"

but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.

ali to ne znači da ona to nije bila.

More of us should reclaim that word.

Više nas bi trebalo povratiti tu riječ.

My own definition of feminist is:

Moja vlastita definicija feminista je:

"A feminist is a man or a woman

"Feminist je muškarac ili žena

who says --

koji ili koja kaže --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

A feminist is a man or a woman who says,

Feminist je muškarac ili žena koji ili koja kaže

"Yes, there's a problem with gender as it is today,

"Da, postoji problem s rodom kakav je danas

and we must fix it.

i moramo ga popraviti.

We must do better."

Moramo činiti bolje."

The best feminist I know

Najbolji feminist kojeg poznajem

is my brother Kene.

je moj brat Kene.

He's also a kind, good-looking, lovely man,

On je također drag, zgodan, divan muškarac

and he's very masculine.

i jako je muževan.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)