Cara E. Yar Khan: The beautiful balance between courage and fear | TED

Translator: Eduard Torras Saiz Reviewer: Saray Fernandez

When we're young, we're innocently brave,

Quan som joves, som valents i innocents

and we fearlessly dream about what our lives might be like.

i no tenim por de somiar sobre la vida que ens espera.

Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist.

Potser volies ser astronauta o enginyer aeroespacial.

Maybe you dreamed of traveling to every continent.

Potser somiaves viatjar per tot el món.

Since I was very young,

Des que era molt petita,

I dreamed of working for the United Nations

jo volia treballar per les Nacions Unides

in some of the most difficult countries in the world.

als països més difícils del món.

And thanks to a lot of courage

I gràcies a molt coratge

that dream came true.

aquest somni es va fer realitat.

But here's the thing about courage:

Però amb la valentia passa una cosa:

it doesn't just appear whenever we need it.

no sorgeix del no-res quan la necessitem.

It's the result of tough reflection and real work,

És el resultat d'una profunda reflexió i feina de debò,

involving the balance between fear and bravery.

que implica un equilibri entre la por i el valor.

Without fear, we'll do foolish things.

Sense por, faríem estupideses.

And without courage, we'll never step into the unknown.

I sense coratge, mai no exploraríem allò desconegut.

The balance of the two is where the magic lies,

La màgia es troba en l'equilibiri entre ambdues coses

and it's a balance we all deal with every day.

i és un equilibri amb què batallem cada dia

First, a word about my fancy wheels.

Començaré parlant d'aquestes precioses rodes.

I haven't always used a wheelchair.

No sempre he fet servir cadira de rodes.

I grew up like many of you,

Vaig créixer com la majoria,

running, jumping and dancing.

corrent, saltant i ballant.

I love to dance.

M'encanta ballar.

However, in my mid-twenties,

Maladaurament, als vint-i-escaig,

I began to experience a series of inexplicable falls.

vaig començar a patir un seguit de caigudes inexplicables.

And a few years later,

I uns anys després,

I was diagnosed with a recessive genetic condition

em van diagnosticar una malaltia genètica recessiva

called hereditary inclusion body myopathy,

que es diu miopatia hereditària amb cossos d'inclusió,

or HIBM.

o HIBM.

It's a progressive muscle wasting disease

És una malaltia muscular degenerativa progressiva

that affects all of my muscles from head to toe.

que m'afecta tots els músculs del cos.

HIBM is very rare.

L'HIBM és molt infreqüent.

In the United States there are less than 200 people diagnosed.

Als EUA n'hi ha menys de 200 casos diagnosticats.

To date, there is no proved treatment or cure,

Actualment, no existeix cap tractament ni cura eficaç,

and within 10 to 15 years of its onset,

i transcorreguts 10 o 15 anys des que apareix,

HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia,

normalment condueix a la tetraplegia,

which is why I now use a wheelchair.

i per això ara vaig en cadira de rodes.

When I was first diagnosed, everything changed.

Després del diagnòstic, va canviar tot.

It was frightening news

Em vaig espantar molt

because I had no experience with chronic illness or disabilities.

perquè no tenia experiència en malalties cròniques ni en discapacitats.

And I had no idea how the disease might progress.

I no tenia ni idea de com podia avançar la malaltia.

But what was most disheartening

Però el que més em desanimava

was to listen to other people advise me

era escoltar com la gent m'aconsellava

to limit my ambitions and dreams,

que limités les meves ambicions i somnis,

and to change my expectations of what to expect from life.

i que canviés les expectatives i el que esperava de la vida.

"You should quit your international career."

"Hauries d'abandonar la carrera internacional"

"No one will marry you this way."

"Així ningú no es casarà amb tu"

"You would be selfish to have children."

"Tenir fills seria egoista per part teva"

The fact that someone who wasn't me

El fet que algú que no era jo

was putting limitations on my dreams and ambitions

posés límits als meus somnis i ambicions

was preposterous.

era ridícul.

And unacceptable.

I inacceptable.

So I ignored them.

No els vaig fer cas.

(Cheers and applause)

(Aclamacions i aplaudiments)

I did get married.

Em vaig casar.

And I decided for myself not to have children.

I vaig decidir lliurement no tenir fills.

And I continued my career with the United Nations

I vaig continuar la meva carrera a les Nacions Unides

after my diagnosis,

després del diagnòstic,

going to work for two years in Angola,

i vaig treballar dos anys a Angola,

a country recovering from 27 years of brutal civil war.

un país que s'està recuperant de 27 anys d'una guerra civil brutal.

However, it would be another five years

Tot i això, vaig trigar cinc anys

until I officially declared my diagnosis to my employer.

en comunicar oficialment el diagnòstic al meu cap.

Because I was afraid

Perquè tenia por

that they would question my capacity to manage and I'd lose my job.

que qüestionarien la meva capacitat de lideratge i perdria la feina.

I was working in countries where polio had been common,

Treballava a països on la pòlio havia estat habitual,

so when I overheard someone say

i quan vaig sentir que algú deia

that they thought I might have survived polio,

que pensava que potser jo l'havia passat,

I thought my secret was safe.

vaig creure que el meu secret estava segur.

No one asked why I was limping.

Ningú no em preguntava per la coixesa

So I didn't say anything.

I jo no deia res.

It took me over a decade

Va caldre més d'una dècada

to internalize the severity of HIBM,

perquè assimilés la gravetat de l'HIBM,

even as basic tasks and functions became increasingly difficult.

malgrat que les tasques i funcions bàsiques eren cada cop més difícils.

Yet, I continued to pursue my dream of working all over the world,

Però vaig seguir perseguint el meu somni de treballar arreu del món,

and was even appointed as a disability focal point

i em van nomenar coordinadora per la discapacitat

for UNICEF in Haiti,

de l'UNICEF a Haití,

where I served for two years after the devastating 2010 earthquake.

on vaig treballar dos anys després del devastador terratrèmol del 2010.

And then my work brought me to the United States.

Després la feina em va dur als Estats Units.

And even as the disease progressed significantly

I tot i que la malaltia progressava clarament

and I needed leg braces and a walker to get around,

i ja necessitava aparells ortopèdics i caminadors per moure'm,

I still longed for adventure.

seguia buscant aventures.

And this time,

Aquest cop,

I started dreaming of a grand outdoor adventure.

somiava en una gran aventura a l'aire lliure.

And what's more grand than the Grand Canyon?

I que pot ser més gran que el Gran Canyó?

Did you know that for every five million people who visit the Rim

Sabíeu que de cada cinc milions de persones que el visiten

only one percent go down to the canyon's base?

només un 1 % baixa fins a la base del canyó?

I wanted to be a part of that one percent.

Volia formar part d'aquest u per cent.

The only thing is --

El problema és --

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

The only thing is that the Grand Canyon isn't exactly accessible.

El problema és que el Gran Canyó no és precisament accessible.

I was going to need some assistance

Necessitaria ajuda

to get down the 5,000-foot descent of vertical loose terrain.

per fer la baixada de 1500 metres de terreny vertical i solt.

Now, when I face obstacles,

Ara, quan afronto obstacles,

fear doesn't necessarily immediately set in

la por no sempre arriba de seguida

because I assume that one way or another,

perquè dono per fet que d'alguna manera,

I'll figure it out.

me'n sortiré.

And in this case, my thought was,

En aquest cas vaig pensar,

well, if I can't walk down,

bé, si no puc caminar fins a baix,

I could learn to ride a horse.

puc aprendre a muntar a cavall.

So that's what I did.

Això és el que vaig fer.

And with that fateful decision

I amb aquesta decisió trascendental

began a four-year commitment,

va començar un compromís de quatre anys,

tossing back and forth between fear and courage

en què alternava la por i la valentia

to undertake a 12-day expedition.

per emprendre una expedició de 12 dies.

Four days on horseback to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim,

Quatre dies a cavall per creuar tot el Gran Canyó,

and eight days rafting 150 miles of the Colorado River,

i vuit dies fent 240 km de ràfting pel riu Colorado,

all with a film crew in tow.

amb un equip de gravació a remolc.

Spoiler alert -- we made it.

Us avanço que ho vam aconseguir.

But not without showing me how my deepest fear

Però no sense demostrar-me com la por més profunda

can somehow manifest a mirror response of equal courage.

a vegades implica una resposta d'un valor equivalent.

On April 13, 2018,

El 13 d'abril del 2018

sitting eight feet above the ground,

asseguda a dos metres i mig de terra

riding a mustang horse named Sheriff,

sobre un cavall mustang que es deia Sheriff,

my first impression of Grand Canyon

la meva primera impressió del Gran Canyó

was one of shock and terror.

va ser d'astorament i terror.

Who knew I had a fear of heights.

No sabia que tenia vertigen.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

But there was no giving up now.

Però ja no hi havia marxa enrere.

I mustered up every ounce of courage inside me

Vaig reunir tot el coratge que tenia dins

to not let my fear get the best of me.

per impedir que la por em dominés.

Embarking on the South Rim,

Partint des de la vora sud,

all I could do to keep myself composed

l'únic que podia fer per mantenir-me serena

was to breathe deeply, stare up into the clouds

era respirar a fons, contemplar els núvols

and focus on my team's voices.

i centrar-me en les veus de l'equip.

But then, in the first hour, disaster struck.

Però llavors, tot just començar, va succeir el desastre.

Unable to hold myself upright in the saddle,

Incapaç de seguir ben muntada a la sella

going down an oversized step,

en baixar un esglaó enorme,

I flung forward and smacked my face on the back of the horse's head.

vaig caure endavant i vaig picar de cara amb el cap del cavall.

There was panic,

Em vaig espantar molt,

my head hurt fiercely,

i el cap em feia molt de mal,

but the path was too narrow for us to dismount.

però el camí era massa estret per desmuntar.

Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet,

Vam haver d'arribar a mig camí, als 700 metres,

at least another two hours down,

després d'almenys dues hores més de baixada,

could we stop and remove my helmet

per poder aturar-nos i treure'm el casc

and see the egg-sized bump protruding from my forehead.

per veure el bony de la mida d'un ou que tenia al front.

For all of that planning and gear,

Tant de planejar l'equipatge,

how is it that we didn't even have an ice pack?

i ningú havia pensat en una bossa de gel?

(Laughter)

(Riures)

Luckily for all of us, the swelling came outwards,

Per sort per tothom, el bony va sortir enfora,

and would drain into my face as two fantastic black eyes

i se'm va drenar a la cara en forma de dos fantàstics ulls de vellut

which is an amazing way to look in a documentary film.

que s'avenen molt per un documental.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

(Applause and cheers)

(Aplaudiments i aclamacions)

This was not an easy, peaceful journey,

No va ser un viatge fàcil ni tranquil,

and yet, that was exactly the point.

però justament per això tenia sentit.

Even though I was afraid to get back into the saddle,

Malgrat que em feia por tornar a la sella,

I got back in.

ho vaig fer.

The descent alone to the canyon floor

La baixada al fons del canyó

took a total of 10 hours

va durar 10 hores en total

and that was just day one of four riding.

i només era el primer dels quatre dies a cavall.

Next came the mighty rapids.

Després tocaven els ràpids forts.

The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

El Riu Colorado al Gran Canyó

has some of the highest white water in the country.

té unes de les aigües braves més altes del país.

And just to be prepared in case we should capsize,

Per estar preparats per si bolcàvem,

we'd practice having me swim through a smaller rapid.

vam fer-me nedar per un ràpid petit.

And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.

Us puc assegurar que no va ser glamurós.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

I took my breath in the wrong part of the wave,

Vaig prendre aire a la zona equivocada de l'onada,

choked on river water

em vaig ennuegar amb l'aigua

and was unable to steer myself.

i no vaig poder redreçar-me.

Yes, it was scary,

Sí, feia por,

but it was also fantastic.

però també era fantàstic.

Waterfalls, slick canyons

Cascades, canyons relliscosos

and a couple billion years of bedrock

i dos mil millions d'anys de roca mare

that seemed to change color throughout the day.

que semblava canviar de color al llarg del dia.

The Grand Canyon is true wilderness

El Gran Canyó es natura en estat pur

and worthy of all of its accolades.

i és mereix tots els elogis que rep.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

The expedition,

L'expedició,

all that planning and the trip itself,

tota l'organització i el viatge en sí,

showed me a level of fear I had never experienced before.

em va fer passar una por que no havia experimentat mai abans.

But more importantly,

Però sobretot,

it showed me how boldly courageous I can be.

em va mostrar com de valenta i atrevida puc ser.

My Grand Canyon journey was not easy.

El meu viatge al Gran Canyó no va ser fàcil.

This was not a vision of an Amazonian woman

No era la imatge d'una amazona

effortlessly making her way through epic scenery.

obrint-se pas sense esforç a través d'un paisatge èpic.

This was me crying,

Era jo plorant,

exhausted and beat up with two black eyes.

esgotada i colpejada amb dos ulls de vellut.

It was scary,

Era terrorífic,

it was stressful,

estressant,

it was exhilarating.

estimulant.

Now that the trip is over,

Acabat el viatge,

it's easy to be blasé about what we achieved.

es fàcil no donar importància al que vam aconseguir.

I know I want to raft the river again.

Sé que vull tornar a fer ràfting pel riu.

This time, all 277 miles of it.

Aquest cop, pels 4500 km que té.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)

But I also know that I would never do the horseback-riding part again.

Però també sé que mai tornaria a muntar a cavall.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

It's just too dangerous.

És massa perillós.

And that's my real point.

Aquest és el meu missatge.

I'm not just here to show you my film footage.

No soc aquí només per ensenyar-vos el que vaig gravar.

I'm here to remind us all

Soc aquí per recordar tothom

that life is really just a lesson

que en realitat la vida és només una lliçó

in finding the balance between fear and courage.

en trobar l'equilibri entre por i coratge.

And understanding what is and what isn't a good idea.

I entendre què és i què no és una bona idea.

(Laughter)

(Riures)

Life is already scary,

La vida ja fa prou por,

so for our dreams to come true, we need to be brave.

i hem de ser valents per complir els nostres somnis.

In facing my fears

Tot afrontant les pors

and finding the courage to push through them,

i trobant el valor per superar-les,

I swear my life has been extraordinary.

juro que la meva vida ha estat extraordinària.

So live big

Viviu al màxim

and try to let your courage outweigh your fear.

i intenteu que el coratge superi la por.

You never know where it might take you.

Mai se sap on et portarà.

Thank you.

Gràcies.

(Applause and cheers)

(Aplaudiments i aclamacions)