Cara E. Yar Khan: The beautiful balance between courage and fear | TED

翻译人员: Wanting Zhong 校对人员: Jiong Guo

When we're young, we're innocently brave,

我们年轻时就像初生牛犊，

and we fearlessly dream about what our lives might be like.

无畏地梦想着 我们的人生可能会是什么样。

Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist.

或许你想成为宇航员 或是火箭科学家。

Maybe you dreamed of traveling to every continent.

或许你的梦想是 环游世界的旅行。

Since I was very young,

我从很小的时候，

I dreamed of working for the United Nations

就梦想在世界上

某些最困难的国家里 为联合国工作。

in some of the most difficult countries in the world.

And thanks to a lot of courage

凭借很大的勇气，

that dream came true.

我的梦想成真了。

But here's the thing about courage:

但关于勇气的问题是：

it doesn't just appear whenever we need it.

它并不会在我们需要它 的时候凭空出现。

It's the result of tough reflection and real work,

它是坚韧不移的反思 和脚踏实地的努力的结果，

involving the balance between fear and bravery.

需要恐惧和勇敢之间的平衡。

Without fear, we'll do foolish things.

没有恐惧，我们会做蠢事。

And without courage, we'll never step into the unknown.

而没有勇气， 我们永远不会朝未知迈步。

The balance of the two is where the magic lies,

两者的平衡 正是魔法诞生的地方，

and it's a balance we all deal with every day.

而这是一种我们所有人 每天都要面对的平衡。

First, a word about my fancy wheels.

首先，让我讲讲我的神奇轮椅。

I haven't always used a wheelchair.

我并不是一直坐轮椅的。

I grew up like many of you,

我像你们很多人一样，

running, jumping and dancing.

在奔跑、跳跃和舞蹈中长大。

I love to dance.

我热爱跳舞。

However, in my mid-twenties,

然而，在我二十多岁时，

I began to experience a series of inexplicable falls.

我开始经历 一系列难以解释的跌倒。

And a few years later,

几年之后，

I was diagnosed with a recessive genetic condition

我被确诊患有 一种隐性遗传疾病，

called hereditary inclusion body myopathy,

叫做遗传性包涵体肌炎，

or HIBM.

简称 HIBM。

It's a progressive muscle wasting disease

这是一种进行性的肌肉萎缩症，

that affects all of my muscles from head to toe.

它影响到我从头到脚 的所有肌肉。

HIBM is very rare.

HIBM 非常罕见。

In the United States there are less than 200 people diagnosed.

在美国不到 200 人被确诊。

To date, there is no proved treatment or cure,

至今我们都没有可靠 的治疗手段或治愈方法，

and within 10 to 15 years of its onset,

在发作十到十五年内，

HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia,

HIBM 通常会造成四肢瘫痪，

which is why I now use a wheelchair.

也就是我现在坐轮椅的原因。

When I was first diagnosed, everything changed.

我最初被确诊时， 一切都改变了。

It was frightening news

这是很可怕的消息，

because I had no experience with chronic illness or disabilities.

因为我没有慢性病或 身体障碍的经验。

And I had no idea how the disease might progress.

我也完全不知道 这种病会如何发展。

But what was most disheartening

但最让人沮丧的

was to listen to other people advise me

是听到别人建议我

to limit my ambitions and dreams,

抑制自己的雄心与梦想，

and to change my expectations of what to expect from life.

改变我对人生的期望。

"You should quit your international career."

“你应该放弃你的国际职业。”

"No one will marry you this way."

“你这个样子没人会和你结婚。”

"You would be selfish to have children."

“你生小孩的话就是自私。”

The fact that someone who wasn't me

由别人而不是我自己

was putting limitations on my dreams and ambitions

对我的梦想和志向设限

was preposterous.

是荒谬可笑的，

And unacceptable.

而且令人无法接受。

So I ignored them.

所以我无视了他们。

(Cheers and applause)

（喝彩与掌声）

I did get married.

我结了婚。

And I decided for myself not to have children.

我自己做出了 不要孩子的决定。

And I continued my career with the United Nations

我在确诊后

仍继续留在联合国，

after my diagnosis,

going to work for two years in Angola,

在安哥拉工作了两年，

a country recovering from 27 years of brutal civil war.

一个从 27 年残酷内战中 恢复的国家。

However, it would be another five years

但是，又过了五年之后，

until I officially declared my diagnosis to my employer.

我才正式把我的诊断结果 报告给我的雇主。

Because I was afraid

因为我害怕

that they would question my capacity to manage and I'd lose my job.

他们质疑我的应付能力， 从而让我丢掉工作。

I was working in countries where polio had been common,

我在小儿麻痹症 曾肆虐的国家工作，

so when I overheard someone say

所以当我听到别人说

that they thought I might have survived polio,

他们觉得我可能是 小儿麻痹症的幸存者，

I thought my secret was safe.

我觉得我的秘密很安全。

No one asked why I was limping.

没有人问我为什么跛脚走路，

So I didn't say anything.

所以我缄口不提。

It took me over a decade

我花了十年多的时间

to internalize the severity of HIBM,

才适应了 HIBM 的严重性，

even as basic tasks and functions became increasingly difficult.

即使基本的动作和功能 都变得愈发困难。

Yet, I continued to pursue my dream of working all over the world,

然而，我继续追逐我 在世界各地工作的梦想，

and was even appointed as a disability focal point

甚至被委任为 UNICEF 在海地的

for UNICEF in Haiti,

残疾人联络点，

where I served for two years after the devastating 2010 earthquake.

在 2010 的破坏性大地震后， 我在那里任职两年。

And then my work brought me to the United States.

之后我的工作 把我带到了美国。

And even as the disease progressed significantly

即使疾病恶化得非常明显，

and I needed leg braces and a walker to get around,

我需要腿部支架 和助步车才能出行，

I still longed for adventure.

我依然渴望着冒险。

And this time,

而这一次，

I started dreaming of a grand outdoor adventure.

我开始梦想 一次宏大的户外冒险。

And what's more grand than the Grand Canyon?

还有什么能比大峡谷更宏大？

Did you know that for every five million people who visit the Rim

你是否知道每五百万个 造访大峡谷的人中

only one percent go down to the canyon's base?

只有 1% 会下到 峡谷谷底？

I wanted to be a part of that one percent.

我想成为那 1% 中的一员。

The only thing is --

唯一的问题是——

(Applause)

（掌声）

The only thing is that the Grand Canyon isn't exactly accessible.

唯一的问题是 大峡谷并没有那么利于通行。

I was going to need some assistance

要想从五千英尺 垂直而松散的地势下去，

to get down the 5,000-foot descent of vertical loose terrain.

我得需要一些帮助。

Now, when I face obstacles,

当我面对困难时，

fear doesn't necessarily immediately set in

恐惧并不一定会立刻到来，

because I assume that one way or another,

因为我觉得不管怎样，

I'll figure it out.

我总会找到解决的办法。

And in this case, my thought was,

而在这件事情中， 我的想法是，

well, if I can't walk down,

如果我没法走下去，

I could learn to ride a horse.

我可以学习骑马。

So that's what I did.

于是我就这么做了。

And with that fateful decision

随着这个重大决定的诞生，

began a four-year commitment,

我投入了四年时间，

tossing back and forth between fear and courage

在恐惧与勇气之间辗转反侧，

to undertake a 12-day expedition.

为了进行这场为期 12 天的征途。

Four days on horseback to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim,

四天骑马从南缘到北缘 横跨大峡谷，

and eight days rafting 150 miles of the Colorado River,

八天划艇渡过 240 多公里的科罗拉多河，

all with a film crew in tow.

全程由摄影组跟随。

Spoiler alert -- we made it.

剧透警告——我们成功了。

But not without showing me how my deepest fear

而我也见识了 我最深的恐惧

can somehow manifest a mirror response of equal courage.

能以某种方式 对称地激发等量的勇气。

On April 13, 2018,

2018 年 4 月 13 日，

坐在离地八英尺处，

sitting eight feet above the ground,

riding a mustang horse named Sheriff,

骑在名为警长的野马背上，

my first impression of Grand Canyon

我对大峡谷的第一印象

was one of shock and terror.

是震惊与恐怖。

Who knew I had a fear of heights.

谁知道我会恐高呢。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But there was no giving up now.

但事到如今，已经没有回头路了。

I mustered up every ounce of courage inside me

我鼓起身体里每一丝勇气，

to not let my fear get the best of me.

不让自己被恐惧战胜。

Embarking on the South Rim,

从大峡谷南崖出发，

all I could do to keep myself composed

我让自己保持镇定的方法

was to breathe deeply, stare up into the clouds

唯有深呼吸， 抬头望云，

and focus on my team's voices.

以及把注意力集中到 队友的声音上。

But then, in the first hour, disaster struck.

然而在第一个小时内， 灾难就降临了。

Unable to hold myself upright in the saddle,

我在下一大步台阶时

going down an oversized step,

没法在马鞍上保持直立，

I flung forward and smacked my face on the back of the horse's head.

向前一扑， 脸砸在了马的后脑勺上。

There was panic,

现场变得慌乱，

my head hurt fiercely,

我的头剧烈疼痛，

but the path was too narrow for us to dismount.

但山路过于狭窄， 我们无法下马。

Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet,

直到 700 米处的中途休息点，

at least another two hours down,

此时至少又走了两个小时下坡路，

could we stop and remove my helmet

我们才能停下来，摘下我的头盔，

and see the egg-sized bump protruding from my forehead.

看到我的额头凸出的 鸡蛋大小的肿包。

For all of that planning and gear,

看看我们这么充分的准备与装备

how is it that we didn't even have an ice pack?

怎么现在连冰袋都没有？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Luckily for all of us, the swelling came outwards,

所幸的是， 肿胀向外扩散，

and would drain into my face as two fantastic black eyes

之后淤血朝脸上排出， 形成两只绝妙的黑眼圈，

which is an amazing way to look in a documentary film.

在纪录片里是 无比神奇的妆容。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause and cheers)

（鼓掌与喝彩）

This was not an easy, peaceful journey,

这并非一段轻松平稳的旅程，

and yet, that was exactly the point.

然而这一点恰恰是最重要的。

Even though I was afraid to get back into the saddle,

尽管我害怕重新坐上马鞍，

I got back in.

我还是上了马。

The descent alone to the canyon floor

下到峡谷谷底的路程

took a total of 10 hours

就花了总共 10 个小时，

and that was just day one of four riding.

这还只是骑马的四天中的一天。

Next came the mighty rapids.

接下来是强大的急流。

The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

大峡谷中的科罗拉多河

has some of the highest white water in the country.

有高度位居全国前列的白浪。

And just to be prepared in case we should capsize,

以防万一我们翻船，

we'd practice having me swim through a smaller rapid.

大家练习让我游过一处小型激流。

And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.

我可以不夸张地说， 这毫无魅力可言。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I took my breath in the wrong part of the wave,

我在浪里错误的位置换气，

choked on river water

被河水呛到，

and was unable to steer myself.

没法操纵自己的方向。

Yes, it was scary,

没错，很吓人，

but it was also fantastic.

但同时也很美妙。

Waterfalls, slick canyons

瀑布，光滑的峡谷，

and a couple billion years of bedrock

历经数十亿年光阴的基岩

that seemed to change color throughout the day.

似乎随着一天内时间 的流逝改变色彩。

The Grand Canyon is true wilderness

大峡谷是真正的旷野，

and worthy of all of its accolades.

当得起所有对它的赞誉。

(Applause)

（掌声）

The expedition,

这次探险，

all that planning and the trip itself,

所有的筹备和旅途本身

showed me a level of fear I had never experienced before.

向我展现了之前 从未体验过的恐惧。

But more importantly,

但更重要的是，

it showed me how boldly courageous I can be.

它也向我展现了 我能有怎样的胆量和勇气。

My Grand Canyon journey was not easy.

我的大峡谷之旅并不容易。

This was not a vision of an Amazonian woman

这并不是一位亚马逊女战士

effortlessly making her way through epic scenery.

毫不费力地穿过 史诗般景色的图景。

This was me crying,

这是一个哭着的我，

exhausted and beat up with two black eyes.

筋疲力尽，鼻青脸肿地 顶着两只黑眼圈。

It was scary,

这趟旅程是可怕的，

it was stressful,

是充满压力的，

it was exhilarating.

也是令人振奋的。

Now that the trip is over,

如今旅程已经结束，

it's easy to be blasé about what we achieved.

很容易对我们的成就轻描淡写。

I know I want to raft the river again.

我知道我还想划艇渡河，

This time, all 277 miles of it.

这次，划完全程 445 公里。

(Applause)

（掌声）

But I also know that I would never do the horseback-riding part again.

但我也知道我再也不会 重复一遍骑马的部分了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

It's just too dangerous.

实在是太危险了。

And that's my real point.

而那是我真正想说的。

I'm not just here to show you my film footage.

我在这里并不只是 向各位展示我的影像片段。

I'm here to remind us all

我在这里是想提醒大家，

that life is really just a lesson

人生其实就是一堂课，

in finding the balance between fear and courage.

教我们如何寻找 恐惧与勇气之间的平衡，

And understanding what is and what isn't a good idea.

以及理解什么是好主意， 什么并非是好主意。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Life is already scary,

生活已经很可怕了，

so for our dreams to come true, we need to be brave.

所以为了实现我们的梦想， 我们必须要勇敢。

In facing my fears

通过直面我的恐惧

and finding the courage to push through them,

并找到克服它们的勇气，

I swear my life has been extraordinary.

我可以发誓，我的人生非常精彩。

So live big

所以生活要有大目标，

and try to let your courage outweigh your fear.

努力让你的勇气 战胜你的恐惧。

You never know where it might take you.

你永远也不会知道 它会将你带向何方。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌声与喝彩）