Cara E. Yar Khan: The beautiful balance between courage and fear | TED

Reviewer: Danielle Josyle

When we're young, we're innocently brave,

Lè nou jèn, nou brav paske nou inosan,

and we fearlessly dream about what our lives might be like.

epi n ap reve, san nou pa pè, sou jan lavi nou kapab ye.

Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist.

Petèt, ou te vle vin yon astwonòt oubyen yon enjenyè nan domèn fize.

Maybe you dreamed of traveling to every continent.

Petèt, ou te reve vwayaje nan tout kontinan yo.

Since I was very young,

Depi lè m te tou piti,

I dreamed of working for the United Nations

mwen te reve travay pou Nasyonzini

in some of the most difficult countries in the world.

nan kèk nan peyi ki pi difisil nan monn nan.

And thanks to a lot of courage

E kòm m te gen anpil kouraj,

that dream came true.

rèv sa a te vin yon reyalite.

But here's the thing about courage:

Men sa n bezwen konnen sou kouraj:

it doesn't just appear whenever we need it.

li pa annik parèt lè nou bezwen l lan.

It's the result of tough reflection and real work,

Se rezilta gwo refleksyon ak bon jan travay,

involving the balance between fear and bravery.

sa mande pou gen ekilib ant laperèz ak bravou.

Without fear, we'll do foolish things.

Si pa gen laperèz, n ap fè anpil erè.

And without courage, we'll never step into the unknown.

E si n pa gen kouraj, nou p ap janm avantire nou.

The balance of the two is where the magic lies,

Sekrè a se fè ekilib ant laperèz ak kouraj,

and it's a balance we all deal with every day.

epi se yon ekilib n ap chèche chak jou Bondye mete.

First, a word about my fancy wheels.

Toudabò, m ap pale sou bèl chèz woulant mwen an.

I haven't always used a wheelchair.

Mwen pa t toujou gen chèz woulant.

I grew up like many of you,

Tankou anpil nan nou,

running, jumping and dancing.

m te yon timoun ki te konn kouri, vole, danse.

I love to dance.

Mwen renmen danse.

However, in my mid-twenties,

Men, lè m te nan mitan ventèn,

I began to experience a series of inexplicable falls.

m te kòmanse ap plede tonbe, san m pa ka eksplike rezon an.

And a few years later,

Epi, kèk ane annaprè,

I was diagnosed with a recessive genetic condition

doktè te wè m gen yon maladi jenetik ki grav

called hereditary inclusion body myopathy,

ki rele sendwòm ereditè myopati kò enklizyon,

or HIBM.

oubyen HIBM.

It's a progressive muscle wasting disease

Se yon maladi k ap manje mis yo tikras pa tikras

that affects all of my muscles from head to toe.

ki afekte tout mis nan kò m, depi nan tèt rive nan zòtèy.

HIBM is very rare.

HIBM ra anpil.

In the United States there are less than 200 people diagnosed.

Ozetazini, gen mwens pase 200 moun ki genyen l.

To date, there is no proved treatment or cure,

Jouk jodi a, yo poko jwenn tretman, oubyen gerizon pou li,

and within 10 to 15 years of its onset,

e depi w gen 10 a 15 an avè l,

HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia,

maladi a ka paralize w nan tou lè kat manm ou yo,

which is why I now use a wheelchair.

se poutèt sa mwen sou chèz woulant kounye a.

When I was first diagnosed, everything changed.

Lè m te vin konn ki maladi genyen, tout bagay te chanje.

It was frightening news

Nouvèl sa a te ban m kè kase

because I had no experience with chronic illness or disabilities.

paske m pa t gen okenn eksperyans ak maladi oswa andikap kwonik.

And I had no idea how the disease might progress.

Epi, m pa t menm konn ki jan maladi a ta pral devlope.

But what was most disheartening

Men, sa ki te plis dekouraje m,

was to listen to other people advise me

se konsèy lòt moun yo t ap ban m

to limit my ambitions and dreams,

pou m abandone anbisyon m ak rèv mwen,

and to change my expectations of what to expect from life.

e pou m chanje rèv mwen te gen pou lavi m.

"You should quit your international career."

"Ou ta dwe kite karyè entènasyonal ou a."

"No one will marry you this way."

“Pèsonn p ap marye avèk ou jan w ye a.”

"You would be selfish to have children."

“Si w fè pitit jan w ye la a, konnen w egoyis.”

The fact that someone who wasn't me

An reyalite, pou se yon lòt moun

ki t ap fikse limit rèv mwen ak anbisyon m,

was putting limitations on my dreams and ambitions

was preposterous.

sa pa t gen sans.

And unacceptable.

Epi, sa pa t akseptab.

So I ignored them.

Kidonk, mwen pa t okipe yo.

(Cheers and applause)

(Aklamasyon ak aplodisman)

I did get married.

Wi, m te vin marye.

And I decided for myself not to have children.

Epi m te deside, mwen menm, m p ap fè pitit.

And I continued my career with the United Nations

Epi m te kontinye travay nan Nasyonzini

after my diagnosis,

apre dyagnostik doktè yo,

going to work for two years in Angola,

mwen te fè de lane ap travay Angola,

a country recovering from 27 years of brutal civil war.

yon peyi k ap reprann li aprè 27 lane anba gwo gè sivil.

However, it would be another five years

Epi, se aprè senk lane,

until I officially declared my diagnosis to my employer.

mwen te vin fè patwon m konnen mwen te malad.

Because I was afraid

Paske m te pa t vle yo

that they would question my capacity to manage and I'd lose my job.

panse m pa t ka responsab anyen, pou m pa t pèdi travay mwen.

I was working in countries where polio had been common,

Mwen t ap travay nan peyi kote anpil moun te fè polyo,

so when I overheard someone say

donk, lè m te tande yon moun di

that they thought I might have survived polio,

li panse mwen se yon moun ki te fè polyo,

I thought my secret was safe.

m te panse sekrè m nan te byen kache.

No one asked why I was limping.

Pèsonn pa t mande m poukisa m t ap bwate.

So I didn't say anything.

Donk, mwen pa t di yo anyen.

It took me over a decade

Sa te pran m plis pase dizan

to internalize the severity of HIBM,

pou tout sentom maladi a parèt sou mwen,

even as basic tasks and functions became increasingly difficult.

menm ti aktivite senp yo te vin twò difisil pou mwen.

Yet, I continued to pursue my dream of working all over the world,

Malgre sa, m te kontinye pousuiv rèv mwen pou m travay toupatou nan monn nan,

and was even appointed as a disability focal point

epi yo te nommen m responsab yon sant pou andikape

for UNICEF in Haiti,

pou UNICEF an Ayiti,

where I served for two years after the devastating 2010 earthquake.

kote m te travay pandan de lane apre gwo tranblemanntè 2010 la.

And then my work brought me to the United States.

Apre sa, mwen t al travay Ozetazini.

And even as the disease progressed significantly

Malgre maladi a t ap pwogrese anpil,

and I needed leg braces and a walker to get around,

mwen te bezwen aparèy pou janm mwen ak deanbilatè pou m mache,

I still longed for adventure.

mwen te toujou gen rèv pou m reyalize.

And this time,

Epi lè sa a,

I started dreaming of a grand outdoor adventure.

m te kòmanse reve yon gwo avanti an plen è.

And what's more grand than the Grand Canyon?

E ki sa k pi gran pase Grand Canyon?

Did you know that for every five million people who visit the Rim

Èske n te konnen chak 5 milyon moun ki vizite Grand Canyon

only one percent go down to the canyon's base?

sèlman 1% ladan yo desann nan fon Grand Canyon?

I wanted to be a part of that one percent.

Mwen te vle fè pati yon pousan sa a.

The only thing is --

Sèl bagay...

(Applause)

(Aplodisman)

The only thing is that the Grand Canyon isn't exactly accessible.

Sèl bagay Grand Canyon pa yon kote vrèman aksesib.

I was going to need some assistance

Mwen te bezwen yon ti èd

to get down the 5,000-foot descent of vertical loose terrain.

pou m desann montay vètikal 5 000 pye.

Now, when I face obstacles,

Kounye a, lè m gen pwoblèm,

fear doesn't necessarily immediately set in

mwen pa kite laperèz pote m ale

because I assume that one way or another,

paske m di tèt mwen kèlkeswa jan sa ye,

I'll figure it out.

m ap degaje m kanmenm.

And in this case, my thought was,

Nan ka sa a, mwen te panse,

well, if I can't walk down,

bon, kòm m pa ka desann a pye,

I could learn to ride a horse.

m ta aprann monte cheval.

So that's what I did.

E se sa m te fè.

And with that fateful decision

Epi, depi lè m pran gwo desizyon sa a,

began a four-year commitment,

mwen te angaje m pou katran,

tossing back and forth between fear and courage

lavi m t ap balanse ant laperèz ak kouraj

to undertake a 12-day expedition.

jis pou m te ka fè yon vwayaj ki t ap dire 12 jou.

Four days on horseback to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim,

M t ap pase kat jou sou cheval pou m travèse Grand Canyon,

and eight days rafting 150 miles of the Colorado River,

ak uit jou sou ti bato pou m travèse 150 kilomèt rivyè Kolorado a,

all with a film crew in tow.

tout sa ak yon ekip kameramann dèyè m.

Spoiler alert -- we made it.

Fò m di nou, nou te reyisi.

But not without showing me how my deepest fear

Men, tou jan m te montre pi gwo laperèz mwen

can somehow manifest a mirror response of equal courage.

ka pèmèt mwen dekouvri tout kouraj mwen genyen.

On April 13, 2018,

Jou 13 Avril 2018 la,

m te chita uit pye pi wo pase tè a,

sitting eight feet above the ground,

riding a mustang horse named Sheriff,

sou yon cheval mustang yo te rele Sheriff,

lè m te fèk wè Grand Canyon,

my first impression of Grand Canyon

was one of shock and terror.

m te choke epi laperèz te anvayi m.

Who knew I had a fear of heights.

Ki jan m te fè konnen m te pè kote ki wo?

(Laughter)

(Moun yo ri)

But there was no giving up now.

Men, mwen pa t vle abandone.

I mustered up every ounce of courage inside me

Mwen te met fanm sou mwen

to not let my fear get the best of me.

pou laperèz pa t pote m ale.

Embarking on the South Rim,

Pandan m sou bò sid Gran Canyon,

all I could do to keep myself composed

tout sa m te ka fè pou m te ka rete kalm

was to breathe deeply, stare up into the clouds

se te respire pwofon, kontinye gade nyaj yo,

and focus on my team's voices.

epi ret konsantre sou vwa moun ki te avè m yo.

But then, in the first hour, disaster struck.

Men annaprè, sou yon èdtan, malè te frape m.

Unable to hold myself upright in the saddle,

Kòm m pa t ka kenbe kò m sou sèl la,

going down an oversized step,

pandan m t ap desann yon pant ki apik,

I flung forward and smacked my face on the back of the horse's head.

m plonje an avan, tèt mwen t al frape dèyè tèt cheval la.

There was panic,

Tout moun te panike,

my head hurt fiercely,

tèt mwen te frape fò,

but the path was too narrow for us to dismount.

men, ti wout la te twò jennen pou yo te fè m desann cheval la.

Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet,

Nou te nan mwatye wout, sou 2 300 pye,

at least another two hours down,

nou te manke de èdtan ankò pou n rive anba,

could we stop and remove my helmet

nou kanpe, yo retire kas nan tèt mwen,

and see the egg-sized bump protruding from my forehead.

e yo te wè yon boul ki gwosè yon ze nan fwon m.

For all of that planning and gear,

Byenke n te pote tout sa n t ap bezwen,

how is it that we didn't even have an ice pack?

kijan nou fè nou pa t menm gen yon sachè glas?

(Laughter)

(Moun yo ri)

Luckily for all of us, the swelling came outwards,

Erezman pou tout moun, boul la pa t twò grav,

and would drain into my face as two fantastic black eyes

li te vin tankou de bèl mak nwa anba je m,

which is an amazing way to look in a documentary film.

sa k ap parèt byen bèl nan yon fim dokimantè.

(Laughter)

(Moun yo ri)

(Applause and cheers)

(Aplodisman ak aklamasyon)

This was not an easy, peaceful journey,

Vwayaj sa a pa t ni fasil, ni trankil,

and yet, that was exactly the point.

e poutan, se sa menm mwen te vle.

Even though I was afraid to get back into the saddle,

Ak tout mwen te pè monte cheval la ankò,

I got back in.

se sa m te fè.

The descent alone to the canyon floor

Pou yon moun desann jis nan pye Gran Canyon,

took a total of 10 hours

sa te pran dis èdtan antou.

and that was just day one of four riding.

Se te jis premye nan kat jou vwayaj la.

Next came the mighty rapids.

Epi, nou te dwe desann rivyè rapid yo.

The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon

Rivyè Kolorado a, nan Grand Canyon nan,

has some of the highest white water in the country.

se youn nan rivyè ki pi fon nan peyi a.

And just to be prepared in case we should capsize,

Pou n te ka pare si kannòt la chavire,

we'd practice having me swim through a smaller rapid.

yo te fè m naje yon kote dlo a pa t twò rapid.

And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.

Mwen pa kache di w se pa t atiran.

(Laughter)

(Moun yo ri)

I took my breath in the wrong part of the wave,

M al pran souf nan pi move kote nan dlo a,

choked on river water

dlo rivyè a te trangle m

and was unable to steer myself.

epi m pa t ka kontwole tèt mwen.

Yes, it was scary,

Wi, mwen te pè anpil,

but it was also fantastic.

men, sa te vrèman bèl.

Waterfalls, slick canyons

Kaskad yo, ravin glise yo,

and a couple billion years of bedrock

ak tèt wòch ki la depi plizyè milya ane

that seemed to change color throughout the day.

ki t ap chanje koulè pandan tout jounen an.

The Grand Canyon is true wilderness

Grand Canyon se yon zòn sovaj

and worthy of all of its accolades.

ki merite tout respè nou.

(Applause)

(Aplodisman)

The expedition,

Tout moun ki te fè vwayaj la,

all that planning and the trip itself,

tout planifikasyon yo, e vwayaj la li menm,

showed me a level of fear I had never experienced before.

te fè m santi yon laperèz m pa t janm santi anvan sa.

But more importantly,

Men, sa k pi enpòtan an,

it showed me how boldly courageous I can be.

li ede m wè tout kouraj mwen genyen.

My Grand Canyon journey was not easy.

Vwayaj mwen nan Grand Canyon pa t fasil.

This was not a vision of an Amazonian woman

Mwen pa t tankou yon fi nan forè Amazoni

effortlessly making her way through epic scenery.

ki t ap vwayaje byen fasil nan yon bèl peyizaj.

This was me crying,

M te gen dlo nan je m,

exhausted and beat up with two black eyes.

tou bouke, ak de mak nwa anba je m.

It was scary,

Mwen te pè,

it was stressful,

m te estrese,

it was exhilarating.

men, sa te bèl.

Now that the trip is over,

Kòm vwayaj la fini,

it's easy to be blasé about what we achieved.

li fasil pou n bliye sa n te akonpli yo.

I know I want to raft the river again.

M konnen m anvi desann rivyè a sou kannòt ankò.

This time, all 277 miles of it.

Fwa sa a, m ap fè tout 445 kilomèt yo.

(Applause)

(Aplodisman)

But I also know that I would never do the horseback-riding part again.

Epitou, mwen konnen m pa t ap janm monte cheval ankò.

(Laughter)

(Moun yo ri)

It's just too dangerous.

Gen twòp danje nan sa.

And that's my real point.

Men sa m vle di nou:

I'm not just here to show you my film footage.

Mwen pa jis vin la a pou montre nou videyo m te fè a.

I'm here to remind us all

Mwen vin la a fè nou tout sonje

that life is really just a lesson

vrèman vre, lavi a se yon lekòl,

in finding the balance between fear and courage.

kote n ap aprann fè ekilib ant kouraj ak laperèz.

And understanding what is and what isn't a good idea.

Epi n dwe aprann fè diferans ant yon bon ide ak yon move ide.

(Laughter)

(Moun ap ri)

Life is already scary,

Lavi a deja bay laperèz,

so for our dreams to come true, we need to be brave.

donk, nou dwe brav pou n reyalize rèv nou yo.

In facing my fears

Nan afwonte laperèz mwen

and finding the courage to push through them,

e m met kouraj sou mwen pou m goumen anba yo,

I swear my life has been extraordinary.

franchman, lavi m estrawodinè.

So live big

Donk, se pou w viv angranjan,

and try to let your courage outweigh your fear.

epi mete plis kouraj sou ou pou w venk laperèz ou.

You never know where it might take you.

Ou pa janm konn kot sa ka mennen w.

Thank you.

Mèsi.

(Applause and cheers)

(Aplodisman ak Aklamasyon)