The science of falling in love - Shannon Odell

Translator: Aubrey Cheng Reviewer: Thomas Tam

Love is often described as heartwarming, heart-wrenching and even heartbreaking.

我哋經常形容愛係暖心 揪心，甚至傷心嘅

So, what does the brain have to do with it?

但係，呢樣又關我哋大腦咩事？

Everything!

咩都關事！

The journey from first spark to last tear is guided by a symphony

由最初嘅火花 到最後一滴淚呢段過程

都係由神經化學物質同大腦系統 編織成嘅樂曲引領住

of neurochemicals and brain systems.

〔3月5號：你唔小心叫咗我做蜜蜂 我希望會持續落去

〔團隊嘅力量〕 〔哇！恭喜哂！〕

〔早唞喇，蜜蜂 [Bee]〕 〔哎呀，打錯，係李[Lee]先啱〕

〔哈哈，我鍾意呀！〕 〔早唞〕

〔3月20號：你一路拖住我隻手 我連離心力都忘記咗啦〕

As you begin to fall for someone,

當你開始愛上一個人

you may find yourself excessively daydreaming about them

你可能會發現自己不停咁諗住佢

and wanting to spend more and more time together.

同埋想花更多時間同佢一齊

This first stage of love is what psychologists call infatuation,

呢個係愛嘅第一個階段 心理學家稱之為迷戀期

or passionate love.

或熱戀期

Your new relationship can feel almost intoxicating,

呢段新戀情幾乎令你心醉

and when it comes to the brain, that’s not far from the truth.

對大腦嚟講，差唔多真係咁

Infatuated individuals show increased activation in the ventral tegmental area.

熱戀中嘅人，腦嘅腹側被蓋區 (VTA)會增加活動

The VTA is the reward-processing and motivation hub of the brain,

佢係大腦處理獎勵 同動機嘅中心

firing when you do things like eat a sweet treat, quench your thirst,

當你好似食啲甜嘢 飲水解渴

or in more extreme cases, take drugs of abuse.

或者喺啲更極端嘅情況——濫藥嗰陣時

Activation releases the “feel good” neurotransmitter dopamine,

呢種刺激釋放「感覺良好」嘅 神經訊號多巴胺

teaching your brain to repeat behaviors in anticipation

教導你大腦 如果重複呢個行為

of receiving the same initial reward.

就能預期得到 同最初得到一樣嘅獎賞

This increased VTA activity is the reason love's not only euphoric,

因為VTA有所活動 所以點解愛唔單止令人開心

but also draws you towards your new partner.

亦都會令你受到你嘅新伴侶吸引

At this first stage, it may be hard to see any faults in your new perfect partner.

喺最初階段，你好難 喺呢個完美嘅新伴侶身上搵到任何缺點

This haze is thanks to love’s influence

呢種盲目真係要多得愛情對於

on higher cortical brain regions.

喺大腦更高階皮層區 造成嘅影響

Some newly infatuated individuals show decreased activity

有啲剛陷入熱戀嘅人會喺

大腦認知功能中心、 前額葉會出現活動下降跡象

in the brain’s cognitive center, the prefrontal cortex.

As activation of this region allows us to engage in critical thought

前額葉有反應 等我哋可以有批判性思考

and pass judgment,

同埋做決策

it’s not surprising we tend to see new relationships

我哋仿佛好似透過美化嘅濾鏡

through rose-colored glasses.

去睇新戀情真係一啲都唔意外

While this first stage of love can be

愛嘅第一階段可以令人

an intense rollercoaster of emotions and brain activity,

情緒起伏好大同腦交戰

it typically only lasts a few months,

通常只係維持幾個月

making way for the more long-lasting stage of love,

然後就會進入愛情更長久嘅階段

known as attachment, or compassionate love.

我哋稱之為依附期或者同情期

〔6月10號：你成日都唱唔到高音 不過我鍾意你個版本〕

As your relationship develops,

隨住戀情慢慢發展

you may feel more relaxed and committed to your partner

你會覺得更放鬆 會對伴侶全情投入

thanks in large part to two hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin.

咁就要多謝兩種荷爾蒙發功： 就係催產素同埋抗利尿激素

Known as pair-bonding hormones,

被喻為「配對」荷爾蒙

they signal trust, feelings of social support and attachment.

佢哋傳遞嘅係信任 社會支持感同埋依附之情

In this way, romantic love is not unlike other forms of love,

由此可見，戀愛 同其他類型嘅愛都一樣

as these hormones also help bond families and friendships.

因為呢啲荷爾蒙 有助於維繫親情同友情

Further, oxytocin can inhibit the release of stress hormones,

再者，催產素可抑制 壓力荷爾蒙釋放

which is why spending time with a loved one can feel so relaxing.

所以當我哋花時間 同另一半相處嗰陣會覺得咁放鬆

As early love's suspension of judgment fades,

隨住初期對愛情嘅暫停判斷慢慢消失

it can be replaced by a more honest understanding and deeper connection.

呢種感覺就會由更多信任 同更深嘅聯繫所取代

Alternatively, as your rose-colored glasses begin to lose their tint,

或者，隨住你副濾鏡開始冇乜用

problems in your relationship may become more evident.

你段關係入面嘅問題 就會變得越嚟越明顯

〔10月29號：你喊嗰陣眼睛變綠色， 係咪由光線造成㗎？〕

No matter the reason a relationship ends,

無論係咩原因導致一段關係結束

we can blame the pain that accompanies heartbreak on the brain.

我哋可以怪大腦 令我哋感受到心碎帶嚟嘅痛苦

The distress of a breakup activates the insular cortex,

分手帶嚟嘅痛苦刺激島葉

a region that processes pain—

即係大腦處理痛楚嘅區域

both physical, like spraining your ankle,

包括身體嘅痛楚 好似扭親隻腳

as well as social, like the feelings of rejection.

重有心理上嘅痛楚 好似被拒絕嘅感覺

As days pass, you may find yourself once again daydreaming about

隨住日子過去 你會發現自己又開始發白日夢

or craving contact with your lost partner.

諗起分咗手嘅伴侶或者好想聯絡佢

The drive to reach out may feel overwhelming,

呢個慾望大到 令你自己都頂唔順

like an extreme hunger or thirst.

就好似覺得飢餓或者口渴咁

When looking at photos of a former partner,

望住前度張相嗰陣

heartbroken individuals again show increased activity in the VTA,

心碎嘅人嘅VTA會再次有活躍反應

the motivation and reward center that drove feelings of longing

VTA係動機同埋獎勵嘅中心

during the initial stages of the relationship.

喺開始一段關係嗰時 負責驅動渴望嘅感覺

This emotional whirlwind also likely activates your body’s alarm system,

呢種情感旋風亦都會敲響身體嘅警報系統

the stress axis, leaving you feeling shaken and restless.

即係壓力軸心 令你有所動搖同焦躁不安

As time goes on,

隨住時間過去，

higher cortical regions which oversee reasoning and impulse control,

掌控邏輯同衝動行為嘅更高階皮層

can pump the brakes on this distress and craving signaling.

可以煞停呢啲唔開心或者渴望信號

Given that these regions are still maturing

要知道呢啲區域喺青春期

and making connections through adolescence,

依然係發展緊 同建立緊聯繫

it's no wonder that first heartbreak can feel particularly agonizing.

唔怪之得第一次心碎都特別覺得悲痛

〔10月6號：執房〕 〔11月7號：瞓晏啲〕

〔11月8號：讀書〕

Activities like exercise, spending time with friends,

搵啲活動搞下 好似做下運動、約下朋友

or even listening to your favorite song

甚至乎聽下你最鍾意嘅歌曲

can tame this heartbreak stress response,

可以安撫到由心碎引發嘅壓力反應

while also triggering the release of feel good neurotransmitter dopamine.

同時亦能誘導釋放 「感覺良好」嘅神經元訊號多巴胺

And given time and the support,

俾啲時間同支持

most can heal and learn from even the most devastating heartbreak.

大部分人都可以醫好 最痛苦嘅情傷，從中學習

〔12月31號：係時候要做新計畫〕