How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it) - Katherine Hampsten

翻译人员: Yadi Zhang 校对人员: 易帆 余

Have you ever talked with a friend about a problem only to realize

你有没有遇到过这样的情况， 当你跟一个朋友聊起自己的困难，

that he just doesn't seem to grasp why the issue is so important to you?

你发现他好像无法明白 这事为什么对你这么重要？

Have you ever presented an idea to a group and it's met with utter confusion?

当你表达自己的想法给一群人， 结果却发现没人能明白？

Or maybe you've been in an argument

或者跟别人辩论，

when the other person suddenly accuses you

对方突然指责起你来，

of not listening to what they're saying at all?

说你根本没有在听他们在说什么？

What's going on here?

这是怎么回事呢？

The answer is miscommunication,

答案是交流不畅，

and in some form or another,

而且不管是哪种形式（的交流不畅），

we've all experienced it.

我们都遇到过。

It can lead to confusion,

它会让人糊涂，

animosity,

产生仇恨，

misunderstanding,

引起误会，

or even crashing a multimillion dollar probe into the surface of Mars.

甚至使一个价值数百万的 探测器在火星坠毁。

The fact is even when face-to-face with another person,

其实，即便人们当面聊天，

in the very same room,

在同一个房间，

and speaking the same language,

说同一种语言，

human communication is incredibly complex.

人类的交流 依然是极为复杂的。

But the good news is that a basic understanding

好在，当我们交流时，

of what happens when we communicate

对当下情况的基本理解

can help us prevent miscommunication.

可以帮我们避免交流不畅。

For decades, researchers have asked, "What happens when we communicate?"

数十年来，科学家们不断探索 “当我们交流时，到底发生了什么？”

One interpretation, called the transmission model,

有一种解释是“传递模式”出问题，

views communication as a message that moves directly from one person to another,

它视这种交流模式是一种 将讯息只做单向的传递而已。

similar to someone tossing a ball and walking away.

这就好比，A 向 B 扔了一个球， 然后走掉了

But in reality,

但是，

this simplistic model doesn't account for communication's complexity.

这个简易的模式 并不能用来解释复杂的交流。

Enter the transactional model,

另一种解释是“交换模式”，

which acknowledges the many added challenges of communicating.

它承认交流中的附加障碍。

With this model, it's more accurate to think of communication between people

这个模式更准确地形容，

就好比把人与人的交流 比喻成一场接球游戏。

as a game of catch.

As we communicate our message, we receive feedback from the other party.

当我们在交流信息时， 我们会收到对方的反馈。

Through the transaction, we create meaning together.

通过这样的信息交换， 双方共同建立语义。

But from this exchange, further complications arise.

但是这样的交换 也会有复杂性产生。

It's not like the Star Trek universe,

它不像星际迷航

where some characters can Vulcan mind meld,

裡面的演员可以心灵感应，

fully sharing thoughts and feelings.

可以完全准确地传递想法。

As humans, we can't help but send and receive messages

相反，

人类只能通过主观视角 来发送和接收信息。

through our own subjective lenses.

When communicating, one person expresses her interpretation of a message,

在交流中，A按照 她自己的理解去表达信息，

and the person she's communicating with

而B

hears his own interpretation of that message.

则会用自己的方式 去理解该信息。

Our perceptual filters continually shift meanings and interpretations.

所以，我们的“感知过滤器” 一直在改变语言的含义。

Remember that game of catch?

还记得刚刚的接球游戏吗？

Imagine it with a lump of clay.

让我们把球想像成 一块软软的黏土。

As each person touches it,

当每个人接到它时

they shape it to fit their own unique perceptions

会受很多因素的影响，

based on any number of variables,

每个人会把它捏成 符合自己独特知觉的形状。

like knowledge or past experience, age, race, gender,

这些影响因素包括 阅历，年龄，种族，性别，

ethnicity, religion, or family background.

民族，宗教，或家庭背景。

Simultaneously, every person interprets the message they receive

与此同时，

人们会根据自己与对方的关系

based on their relationship with the other person,

以及自己对语言的独特解释

and their unique understanding

of the semantics and connotations of the exact words being used.

来理解对方说的话。

They could also be distracted by other stimuli,

人们有时也会 被其他事物分心，

such as traffic

比如堵车，

or a growling stomach.

肚子在叫了，

Even emotion might cloud their understanding,

甚至情绪也会 干扰人们对事物的理解。

and by adding more people into a conversation,

而且， 当谈话的参与人数增加，

each with their own subjectivities,

每个人都带着主观性，

the complexity of communication grows exponentially.

交流的复杂程度 就会飙升。

So as the lump of clay goes back and forth from one person to another,

当黏土块在人们之间

reworked, reshaped, and always changing,

不断传递，重塑，变形，

it's no wonder our messages sometimes turn into a mush of miscommunication.

难怪我们的讯息有时会变成 一堆交流不畅的烂泥巴。

But, luckily, there are some simple practices

但幸运的是， 一些练习能帮助我们

that can help us all navigate our daily interactions for better communication.

掌控日常互动 从而达到顺畅交流。

One:

练习一：

recognize that passive hearing and active listening are not the same.

首先你要意识到，被动聆听 和主动聆听是有区别的。

Engage actively with the verbal and nonverbal feedback of others,

要积极去感受 他人言语和非言语信息，

and adjust your message to facilitate greater understanding.

并通过调整你的表达 来促使对方更好地理解你。

Two:

练习二：

listen with your eyes and ears, as well as with your gut.

聆听时要用到你的 眼，耳，甚至内脏。

Remember that communication is more than just words.

记住，交流并不仅限于 文字交流。

Three:

练习三：

take time to understand as you try to be understood.

理解他人和试图被他人理解 都要慢慢来。

In the rush to express ourselves,

如果急于表达自己的看法，

it's easy to forget that communication is a two-way street.

就容易忘记 交流其实是双向的。

Be open to what the other person might say.

要善于接受对方可能说的话。

And finally, four:

最后，练习四：

Be aware of your personal perceptual filters.

要意识到自己的“感知过滤器”。

Elements of your experience,

你的阅历，

including your culture, community, and family,

包括文化，社群和家庭环境，

influence how you see the world.

都会影响你如何看待这个世界。

Say, "This is how I see the problem, but how do you see it?"

你要说：“我是这样 看这个问题的，你呢？”

Don't assume that your perception is the objective truth.

不要以为你的主观看法 都是客观真理。

That'll help you work toward sharing a dialogue with others

这个练习可以 帮你改进与他人的谈话

to reach a common understanding together.

从而达成互相理解。