How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it) - Katherine Hampsten

譯者: 庭芝 梁 審譯者: 瑞文Eleven 林Lim

Have you ever talked with a friend about a problem only to realize

你是否曾與朋友聊到一個問題

that he just doesn't seem to grasp why the issue is so important to you?

他卻不能理解： 為甚麼這個問題對你那麼重要？

Have you ever presented an idea to a group and it's met with utter confusion?

你是否曾向一群人表達意見 卻發現沒人能明白？

Or maybe you've been in an argument

或者和別人辯論時

when the other person suddenly accuses you

對方突然指責你

of not listening to what they're saying at all?

說你根本沒聽他們在說甚麼

What's going on here?

這是怎麼回事？

The answer is miscommunication,

答案是：「溝通不良」

and in some form or another,

而且我們或多或少都經歷過

we've all experienced it.

某種形式的溝通不良

It can lead to confusion,

它會讓人混亂

animosity,

引發仇恨

misunderstanding,

產生誤會

or even crashing a multimillion dollar probe into the surface of Mars.

甚至造成數百萬美元的 火星探測器墜毀

The fact is even when face-to-face with another person,

事實上，即使是同一房間

in the very same room,

使用相同語言

and speaking the same language,

和他人面對面聊天

human communication is incredibly complex.

人類的溝通仍是極其複雜

But the good news is that a basic understanding

好消息是，當我們在溝通時

of what happens when we communicate

對當下的基本理解

can help us prevent miscommunication.

可以避免我們溝通不良

For decades, researchers have asked, "What happens when we communicate?"

幾十年來，研究人員一直在問： 「當我們溝通時會發生甚麼？」

One interpretation, called the transmission model,

有一種觀點是以「傳遞模式」解釋

views communication as a message that moves directly from one person to another,

它認為溝通是將訊息 自某人直接傳給另一人

similar to someone tossing a ball and walking away.

就像是A將球丟給B，然後就離開

But in reality,

但事實上

this simplistic model doesn't account for communication's complexity.

這個簡化的模式 並不能解釋溝通的複雜性

Enter the transactional model,

另一種解釋是「交換模式」

which acknowledges the many added challenges of communicating.

它認同以往傳播模式 面臨的許多挑戰

With this model, it's more accurate to think of communication between people

在這種模式下 它更能準確考慮到人類的溝通

as a game of catch.

好比把人與人的交流 比喻成接球遊戲

As we communicate our message, we receive feedback from the other party.

當我們在傳達訊息時 會收到來自對方的回饋

Through the transaction, we create meaning together.

透過交流，雙方共同建立意義

But from this exchange, further complications arise.

但這樣的交流 也產生了更多的複雜性

It's not like the Star Trek universe,

它並不像星艦迷航記裡面的角色

where some characters can Vulcan mind meld,

可以用心靈感應

fully sharing thoughts and feelings.

準確地傳達想法和感覺

As humans, we can't help but send and receive messages

人類只能透過個人主觀視角

through our own subjective lenses.

來傳送和接收訊息

When communicating, one person expresses her interpretation of a message,

在溝通時 A 以自己的理解去傳達訊息

and the person she's communicating with

而溝通的對象 B

hears his own interpretation of that message.

則會用自己的方式來理解訊息

Our perceptual filters continually shift meanings and interpretations.

我們的主觀過濾器持續變動 語言的意義與解釋

Remember that game of catch?

還記得接球遊戲嗎

Imagine it with a lump of clay.

把球想像成一塊黏土

As each person touches it,

當每個人碰到黏土時

they shape it to fit their own unique perceptions

每個人會將它捏成 符合自己感覺的形狀

based on any number of variables,

這個感覺會受到很多因素影響

like knowledge or past experience, age, race, gender,

像是知識、經驗、年齡、種族、性別

ethnicity, religion, or family background.

種族、宗教或家庭背景

Simultaneously, every person interprets the message they receive

同時，人們也會依據 自己與其他人的關係

based on their relationship with the other person,

以及自己對文字語意 內涵的獨特理解方式

and their unique understanding

of the semantics and connotations of the exact words being used.

來詮釋接收到的訊息

They could also be distracted by other stimuli,

人們有時也會因為其他事物而分心

such as traffic

像是塞車或是肚子餓

or a growling stomach.

Even emotion might cloud their understanding,

情緒甚至會干擾人對事物的理解

and by adding more people into a conversation,

而且當溝通人數不斷增加

each with their own subjectivities,

加上每個人都有自己的想法

the complexity of communication grows exponentially.

交流的複雜程度就會飆升

So as the lump of clay goes back and forth from one person to another,

當黏土在人們之間

reworked, reshaped, and always changing,

不斷傳遞、重塑、變形

it's no wonder our messages sometimes turn into a mush of miscommunication.

難怪我們在交流訊息時 往往會溝通不良，變得一團糟

But, luckily, there are some simple practices

但幸運的是 透過練習能幫助我們

that can help us all navigate our daily interactions for better communication.

掌控日常互動，達到良好溝通

One:

練習一

recognize that passive hearing and active listening are not the same.

需知，被動與主動聆聽截然不同

Engage actively with the verbal and nonverbal feedback of others,

要積極感受他人語言和非語言回饋

and adjust your message to facilitate greater understanding.

並調整自己的訊息 使對方更容易理解

Two:

練習二

listen with your eyes and ears, as well as with your gut.

要用你的眼睛、耳朵及直覺去聆聽

Remember that communication is more than just words.

記住，交流並不僅限於表面上的文字

Three:

練習三

take time to understand as you try to be understood.

理解他人與被人理解都需時間

In the rush to express ourselves,

如果急於表達自己的想法

it's easy to forget that communication is a two-way street.

就容易忘記：溝通其實是雙向的

Be open to what the other person might say.

要對別人的話保持開放的態度

And finally, four:

最後，練習四

Be aware of your personal perceptual filters.

要意識到自己的感知過濾器

Elements of your experience,

你的個人經歷

including your culture, community, and family,

包括文化、社群及家庭背景

influence how you see the world.

都會影響你如何看待這個世界

Say, "This is how I see the problem, but how do you see it?"

要學著說： 「我是這樣看這個問題的，那你呢？」

Don't assume that your perception is the objective truth.

不要自認為自己的想法 就是客觀的真理

That'll help you work toward sharing a dialogue with others

這個練習可以幫助你 改進與他人的對話

to reach a common understanding together.

並達成彼此的共同理解