My year of saying yes to everything | Shonda Rhimes

譯者: Shi Yang 審譯者: Adrienne Lin

So a while ago, I tried an experiment.

前一段時間，我做了一個實驗。

For one year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me.

在一年內，我將對任何 讓我感到害怕的事都說「好」。

Anything that made me nervous, took me out of my comfort zone,

任何讓我感到緊張、帶離舒適圈的事，

I forced myself to say yes to.

我都強迫自己去說「好」。

Did I want to speak in public?

我想在大眾面前公開演說嗎？

No, but yes.

不想，但是好吧。

Did I want to be on live TV?

我想要上直播的電視節目嗎？

No, but yes.

不要，但是好吧。

Did I want to try acting?

我想要試著演戲嗎？

No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes.

絕對不，但還是好吧。

And a crazy thing happened:

然後神奇的事發生了：

the very act of doing the thing that scared me

透過這樣去做那些讓我害怕的事，

undid the fear,

消除了恐懼，

made it not scary.

讓那些事變得不再讓人害怕。

My fear of public speaking, my social anxiety, poof, gone.

我對公開演說的恐懼、我的社交焦慮， 咻的一聲消失了。

It's amazing, the power of one word.

這一個字的力量真的很驚人。

"Yes" changed my life.

說「好」改變了我的人生。

"Yes" changed me.

說「好」改變了我。

But there was one particular yes

然而當中有一個特別的情況，

that affected my life in the most profound way,

用一種最深遠的方式影響了我的人生，

in a way I never imagined,

是我從沒想到的方式，

and it started with a question from my toddler.

源起於我學步的女兒所問的一個問題。

I have these three amazing daughters, Harper, Beckett and Emerson,

我有三個很棒的女兒， 分別是哈珀、貝克特和愛默生。

and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably refers to everyone as "honey."

愛默生還在學步，不知為何 她就是喜歡叫大家「甜心」，

as though she's a Southern waitress.

好像她是個南方的女服務生一樣。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"Honey, I'm gonna need some milk for my sippy cup."

「甜心，在我的鴨嘴杯中加些牛奶。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The Southern waitress asked me to play with her one evening

有天晚上，這位南方女服務生 要我跟她一起玩，

when I was on my way somewhere, and I said, "Yes."

我當時正準備前往某處的路上， 然後我說好。

And that yes was the beginning of a new way of life for my family.

而這個「好」從此開啟了 我跟家人一種新的生活方式。

I made a vow that from now on,

我當時發誓，從現在起，

every time one of my children asks me to play,

只要我的孩子希望跟我一起玩，

no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going,

不管當時我在幹嘛， 或者我準備要去哪，

I say yes, every single time.

每一次我都要說好。

Almost. I'm not perfect at it, but I try hard to practice it.

幾乎每次。我在這方面並不完美， 但我努力試著去練習，

And it's had a magical effect on me,

接著有一種神奇的效應 發生在我身上，

on my children, on our family.

也發生在我孩子、家人身上。

But it's also had a stunning side effect,

但是同樣也帶來了意想不到的結果，

and it wasn't until recently that I fully understood it,

而我直到最近才充分了解到，

that I understood that saying yes to playing with my children

我選擇答應跟孩子們玩耍這件事，

likely saved my career.

很可能拯救了我的事業。

See, I have what most people would call a dream job.

是這樣的，我的工作 大部分人都認為是「夢幻職業」。

I'm a writer. I imagine. I make stuff up for a living.

我是作家，我不停想像， 我靠創作東西賺錢。

Dream job.

一個夢幻的工作。

No.

不只是這樣。

I'm a titan.

我是電視圈霸主，

Dream job.

我的工作人人欽羨。

I create television. I executive produce television.

我創作電視節目， 我執導製作電視節目。

I make television, a great deal of television.

我做電視節目，一大堆的電視節目。

In one way or another, this TV season,

在這一季的電視上，用不同的形式，

I'm responsible for bringing about 70 hours of programming to the world.

我負責將近 70 小時的節目製作 給全世界的觀眾看，

Four television programs, 70 hours of TV --

總共四個電視節目， 70 小時的電視曝光時數──

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Three shows in production at a time, sometimes four.

同時製作三個電視劇，有時候四個。

Each show creates hundreds of jobs that didn't exist before.

每個電視劇創造了數以百計 以往不曾存在的工作，

The budget for one episode of network television

廣播電視網節目每集的預算，

can be anywhere from three to six million dollars.

可能是在三百到六百萬美元之間，

Let's just say five.

平均就算五百萬美元吧。

A new episode made every nine days times four shows,

每九天製作出新的一集， 乘以四個電視劇，

so every nine days that's 20 million dollars worth of television,

所以每九天就等同 價值二千萬美元的電視劇。

四個電視節目， 70 個小時的電視曝光時數，

four television programs, 70 hours of TV,

有三個電視劇同時進行製作， 有時候四個。

three shows in production at a time, sometimes four,

全天候都有 16 集的影集在進行，

16 episodes going on at all times:

24 episodes of "Grey's," 21 episodes of "Scandal,"

24 集的《實習醫生》、 21集的《醜聞》，

15 episodes of "How To Get Away With Murder,"

15 集的《謀殺入門課》， 10 集的《隱情》，

加起來共 70 小時在電視上播放，

10 episodes of "The Catch," that's 70 hours of TV,

每季預算為 3.5 億美元。

that's 350 million dollars for a season.

在美國，我的電視劇

In America, my television shows

一直佔據著週四晚上的黃金時段。

are back to back to back on Thursday night.

我的電視劇在全球 256 個國家、 用 67 種語言播放著，

Around the world, my shows air in 256 territories in 67 languages

for an audience of 30 million people.

收視觀眾超過三千萬人。

My brain is global,

我的思考是這樣全面的。

and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV are shows I personally created

在電視播放這 70 小時中， 有 45 小時是我個人創作的劇情，

and not just produced, so on top of everything else,

不只有製作，所以最重要的是，

I need to find time, real quiet, creative time,

我需要找到很安靜、 能發揮創作的時間，

to gather my fans around the campfire

才能讓我的粉絲願意聚在營火旁，

and tell my stories.

聽我述說故事。

Four television programs, 70 hours of TV,

四個電視節目， 70 個小時的電視曝光時數，

three shows in production at a time,

同時製作三個電視劇，有時候四個，

sometimes four, 350 million dollars, campfires burning all over the world.

3.5 億美元， 這樣的營火遍佈了全世界。

You know who else is doing that?

你認識其他人也跟我一樣嗎？

Nobody, so like I said, I'm a titan.

沒有人，就像我說的，我是個霸主。

Dream job.

這是個夢幻工作。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Now, I don't tell you this to impress you.

我不是為了讓你們佩服我 才說這些的。

I tell you this because I know what you think of when you hear the word "writer."

我告訴你們這些，是因為我知道 你們對「編劇」的想像。

I tell you this so that all of you out there who work so hard,

我告訴你們這些， 好讓你們其中工作特別辛苦的人，

whether you run a company or a country or a classroom

不管你是經營公司、國家、教室，

or a store or a home,

商店或是家庭，

take me seriously when I talk about working,

你們才不會將我的工作視為理所當然。

so you'll get that I don't peck at a computer and imagine all day,

你才會發現，我並不是在電腦上 輕敲幾下，然後整日幻想。

so you'll hear me when I say

你才會聽清楚我說的，

that I understand that a dream job is not about dreaming.

並了解到一個「夢幻工作」 並不是靠空想，

It's all job, all work, all reality, all blood, all sweat, no tears.

它是實實在在的工作、投入跟現實， 付出你的心血，沒有時間沮喪。

I work a lot, very hard, and I love it.

我非常努力工作，而我也熱愛工作。

When I'm hard at work, when I'm deep in it,

當我努力工作、埋首投入時，

there is no other feeling.

我感受不到其他多餘的感覺。

For me, my work is at all times building a nation out of thin air.

對我來說，我的工作就像是 在稀薄的空氣中打造一個王國，

It is manning the troops. It is painting a canvas.

像是對軍隊的訓練， 像是在畫布上作畫，

It is hitting every high note. It is running a marathon.

像是唱到每一個高音， 像是一場馬拉松賽跑，

It is being Beyoncé.

像是成為碧昂絲一樣。

And it is all of those things at the same time.

而這些全部的事情都同時發生著，

I love working.

我熱愛工作。

It is creative and mechanical and exhausting and exhilarating

工作是創意的，也是呆板機械的， 讓人筋疲力盡、也讓人興奮不已。

and hilarious and disturbing and clinical and maternal

是滑稽的，也是惱人的， 是冷冰的，也是慈愛的。

是殘酷的，也是明智果決的。

and cruel and judicious,

and what makes it all so good is the hum.

而讓這些全部變得如此之美好 是因為一種「心智狀態」。

There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good.

當順利完成工作時， 這些不同的狀態在我腦中切換，

A hum begins in my brain,

有某種「心智狀態」在我腦中形成，

and it grows and it grows and that hum sounds like the open road,

一直持續成長，那感覺 就像一條寬敞的大道，

and I could drive it forever.

我可以沒有盡頭地開著。

And a lot of people, when I try to explain the hum,

當我試著解釋這樣的狀態時，

they assume that I'm talking about the writing,

很多人會以為我在說關於寫作的事，

that my writing brings me joy.

寫作帶給我快樂的事。

And don't get me wrong, it does.

別誤會我的意思， 寫作當然帶給我快樂，

But the hum --

但是那種狀態，

it wasn't until I started making television

我從未感受過， 直到我開始做電視節目，

that I started working, working and making

我開始不停工作、製作、產出，

and building and creating and collaborating,

打造、創造、合作，

that I discovered this thing, this buzz, this rush, this hum.

我才發現了這個東西、這個聲音、 這個感覺跟「嗡」的狀態，

The hum is more than writing.

「嗡」不只是寫作。

The hum is action and activity. The hum is a drug.

「嗡」是一個動作、 是一種活動，就像一種藥。

The hum is music. The hum is light and air.

「嗡」是音樂、是光、是空氣。

The hum is God's whisper right in my ear.

「嗡」是上帝在我耳邊的低語。

And when you have a hum like that,

當你有了像那樣的感受與狀態後，

you can't help but strive for greatness.

你會忍不住想為了更好的事情去奮鬥。

That feeling, you can't help but strive for greatness at any cost.

那種感覺會讓你想不計代價去努力，

That's called the hum.

那就叫做「嗡」。

Or, maybe it's called being a workaholic.

或者，也叫做工作狂。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Maybe it's called genius.

也許那叫做與生俱來的本領。

Maybe it's called ego.

也許那是一個自我的意志。

Maybe it's just fear of failure.

也許那只是對於失敗的恐懼。

I don't know.

我不知道。

I just know that I'm not built for failure,

我只知道，我並不是為失敗而生的。

and I just know that I love the hum.

我只知道，我喜愛那樣的感知狀態。

I just know that I want to tell you I'm a titan,

我只知道，我想要告訴你 我是個霸主，

and I know that I don't want to question it.

然後我不會去質疑這件事。

But here's the thing:

但有件事：

the more successful I become,

當我變得越成功，

the more shows, the more episodes, the more barriers broken,

製作越多的節目、越多的影集、 打破越多的藩籬，

the more work there is to do,

就有越多的工作等著我完成，

the more balls in the air,

越多無法回頭的事，

the more eyes on me, the more history stares,

越多關注的眼光、越多的歷史包袱，

the more expectations there are.

越多的期待。

The more I work to be successful,

我為了成功所做的努力越多，

the more I need to work.

我需要做的事就越多。

And what did I say about work?

我前面是怎麼談論工作的？

I love working, right?

我說我熱愛工作，對嗎？

The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running,

那個我打造的王國、 那場我跑的馬拉松，

那些軍隊、那些畫布、 那個高音、「嗡」的狀態，

the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum,

the hum, the hum.

那樣的感受、那樣的狀態，

I like that hum. I love that hum.

我喜歡「嗡」、我熱愛「嗡」。

I need that hum. I am that hum.

我需要「嗡」，我就是「嗡」。

Am I nothing but that hum?

除了那個狀態， 我是否什麼都不是了呢？

And then the hum stopped.

然後「嗡」停止了。

Overworked, overused,

過度的工作、過度的使用、

overdone, burned out.

過度的濫用、燃燒殆盡。

The hum stopped.

「嗡」停下來了。

Now, my three daughters are used to the truth

我的三個女兒已經習慣這件事：

that their mother is a single working titan.

她們的媽媽是個單打獨鬥、 熱愛工作的電視霸主。

Harper tells people,

哈珀會跟別人說：

"My mom won't be there, but you can text my nanny."

「我媽媽不會去， 但你可以傳訊息給我保母。」

And Emerson says, "Honey, I'm wanting to go to ShondaLand."

愛默生說：「甜心，我想要去妳公司。」

They're children of a titan.

她們是霸主的小孩。

They're baby titans.

她們就是小小霸主。

They were 12, 3, and 1 when the hum stopped.

當「嗡」的狀態停止時， 她們分別是十二歲、三歲跟一歲，

The hum of the engine died.

那狀態的引擎停止運轉了。

I stopped loving work. I couldn't restart the engine.

我不再熱愛工作， 我無法重新發動那引擎。

The hum would not come back.

「嗡」不會回來了。

My hum was broken.

「嗡」的狀態壞掉了。

I was doing the same things I always did, all the same titan work,

我還是做跟以前一樣的事情， 一樣那些「霸主的工作」，

15-hour days, working straight through the weekends,

一天工作 15 個小時， 週末直接通宵，

no regrets, never surrender, a titan never sleeps, a titan never quits,

從不後悔、絕不屈服， 一個不眠不休的霸主，

full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever.

一樣全心全意、一樣明亮的眼神， 諸如此類，

But there was no hum.

但「嗡」不在了。

Inside me was silence.

我內心是沉默安靜的。

Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time,

四個電視節目， 70 小時電視曝光時數，

同時製作三個電視劇，有時候四個。

sometimes four.

Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time ...

四個電視節目，70 小時電視曝光時數， 同時製作三個電視劇，有時四個。

I was the perfect titan.

我曾經是那個完美的霸主。

I was a titan you could take home to your mother.

我是那種厲害到 「可以帶回家給媽媽看」的那種人。

All the colors were the same, and I was no longer having any fun.

人生好像變得黑白， 我不再感到有任何樂趣。

And it was my life.

工作就是我當時的人生。

It was all I did.

我成天埋首工作。

I was the hum, and the hum was me.

我曾經是「嗡」，而「嗡」就是我。

So what do you do when the thing you do,

所以當你做的事、

the work you love, starts to taste like dust?

你愛的工作開始讓你感到索然無味， 你會怎麼辦？

Now, I know somebody's out there thinking,

我知道有些人現在會覺得，

"Cry me a river, stupid writer titan lady."

「別再抱怨了，愚蠢的女編劇霸主。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But you know, you do,

但是你懂的，你知道的，

if you make, if you work, if you love what you do,

創作也好、工作也好， 你熱愛你所做的事，

being a teacher, being a banker, being a mother, being a painter,

當老師、當銀行行員、 為人母、當畫家，

being Bill Gates,

當比爾蓋茲也好，

if you simply love another person and that gives you the hum,

如果你就只是單純愛著一個人， 而那些讓你感受到「嗡」的感覺，

if you know the hum,

你們是知道這種感覺的。

if you know what the hum feels like, if you have been to the hum,

如果你曾經感受過那種感覺、 如果你曾經在那種狀態中，

when the hum stops, who are you?

但這樣的感覺停下來後，你是誰？

What are you?

你是什麼？

What am I?

我又是什麼？

Am I still a titan?

我還是那個霸主嗎？

If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survive in the silence?

如果我心中的樂曲停止演奏了， 那麼我能在這片靜默中生存下去嗎？

And then my Southern waitress toddler asks me a question.

然後我的南方小服務生 問了我一個問題，

I'm on my way out the door, I'm late, and she says,

我當時準備出門， 已經遲到了，這時她說：

"Momma, wanna play?"

「媽媽，要一起玩嗎？」

And I'm just about to say no, when I realize two things.

我正準備說「不」時， 意識到兩件事。

One, I'm supposed to say yes to everything,

首先，我應該對每件事都說「好」，

and two, my Southern waitress didn't call me "honey."

接著，我的南方小服務生 沒有叫我「甜心」。

She's not calling everyone "honey" anymore.

她不再叫每一個人「甜心」了。

When did that happen?

什麼時候開始的？

I'm missing it, being a titan and mourning my hum,

我錯過了，就在急著當個霸主 跟哀悼我失去的狀態時，

and here she is changing right before my eyes.

她就這樣在我眼前改變了。

And so she says, "Momma, wanna play?"

所以當她說：「媽媽，要一起玩嗎？」

And I say, "Yes."

然後我說「好」。

There's nothing special about it.

接著我們沒有做什麼特別的事。

We play, and we're joined by her sisters,

我們就是玩， 後來她的姊妹加入我們，

and there's a lot of laughing,

許多的歡笑聲，

and I give a dramatic reading from the book Everybody Poops.

我唸了《大家來放屁》這本書中， 一段讓人印象深刻的閱讀。

Nothing out of the ordinary.

一切都是那麼地尋常。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And yet, it is extraordinary,

然後，不尋常的事發生了，

because in my pain and my panic,

因為我的痛苦、我的恐慌、

in the homelessness of my humlessness,

在失去狀態中的無助感，

I have nothing to do but pay attention.

我除了專心外，什麼都不能做，

I focus.

我專注。

I am still.

我是平靜的。

The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running,

那個我打造的王國、 那場我跑的馬拉松，

the troops, the canvas, the high note does not exist.

那批軍隊、那張畫布、 那個高音都不存在了。

All that exists are sticky fingers

取而代之的是黏黏的手指、

and gooey kisses and tiny voices and crayons

軟綿綿的親吻、 微小的聲音跟一堆蠟筆，

and that song about letting go

還有那首唱著放開手的歌，

of whatever it is that Frozen girl needs to let go of.

不管那個冰雪奇緣的女孩 究竟有什麼事需要放手。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

It's all peace and simplicity.

一切充滿了平靜跟簡單。

The air is so rare in this place for me that I can barely breathe.

在那裡的空氣是如此稀薄 讓我無法呼吸，

I can barely believe I'm breathing.

我幾乎不能相信我在呼吸。

Play is the opposite of work.

玩樂是工作的相反。

And I am happy.

然而我很快樂。

Something in me loosens.

我內在變得放鬆了。

A door in my brain swings open,

我腦中有扇門打開了，

and a rush of energy comes.

一股能量衝進來。

And it's not instantaneous, but it happens, it does happen.

這並不是一瞬間的事， 但是發生了，確實發生了。

I feel it.

我感覺到了。

A hum creeps back.

那種感覺緩緩回來了。

Not at full volume, barely there,

不是很多，只有一點點，

it's quiet, and I have to stay very still to hear it, but it is there.

非常安靜，我必須要保持非常平靜 才能聽到它，但「嗡」確實存在。

Not the hum, but a hum.

不是全部，而是一點點，

And now I feel like I know a very magical secret.

現在我覺得自己知道了 一個非常神奇的秘密。

Well, let's not get carried away.

好吧，還是別得意忘形了。

It's just love. That's all it is.

那就只是愛，就只是這樣。

No magic. No secret. It's just love.

沒有特別神奇， 沒有什麼秘密，就只是愛，

It's just something we forgot.

就是一件被我們遺忘的事。

The hum, the work hum, the hum of the titan,

「嗡」的狀態、那個工作上的狀態、 霸主的狀態，

that's just a replacement.

那只是一個替代的東西。

If I have to ask you who I am,

如果我必須問你「我是誰」，

if I have to tell you who I am,

如果我必須告訴你「我是誰」，

if I describe myself in terms of shows

如果我形容自己時， 只能提那些電視劇、

and hours of television and how globally badass my brain is,

電視的曝光時數， 跟我的頭腦有多麼厲害，

I have forgotten what the real hum is.

那麼我就是忘記了 真正的「嗡」是什麼。

The hum is not power and the hum is not work-specific.

「嗡」不是一種力量、 也不只是跟工作有關。

The hum is joy-specific.

「嗡」是跟快樂有關的，

The real hum is love-specific.

真正的「嗡」是由愛而生的。

The hum is the electricity that comes from being excited by life.

「嗡」是一種電能， 來自於生活中的刺激。

The real hum is confidence and peace.

真正的「嗡」是信心跟平靜。

The real hum ignores the stare of history,

真正的「嗡」不顧歷史的眼光，

and the balls in the air, and the expectation, and the pressure.

不顧那些無法回頭的事、 不顧那些期待跟壓力。

The real hum is singular and original.

真正的「嗡」是非凡且獨一的。

The real hum is God's whisper in my ear,

真正的「嗡」是上帝在我耳邊的低語。

but maybe God was whispering the wrong words,

但是也許上帝說錯了，

because which one of the gods was telling me I was the titan?

因為是哪個上帝會跟我說 我是個霸主？

It's just love.

其實就只是愛。

We could all use a little more love,

我們都需要多一點愛，

a lot more love.

多更多愛。

Any time my child asks me to play,

只要我的孩子邀我一起玩，

I will say yes.

我都會說好。

I make it a firm rule for one reason,

我把這列為嚴格執行的規定，

to give myself permission,

只為了允許我自己

to free me from all of my workaholic guilt.

從工作狂的罪惡感中釋放出來，

It's a law, so I don't have a choice,

那像條鐵律，所以我無從選擇，

and I don't have a choice,

而我確實也沒有選擇，

not if I want to feel the hum.

要繼續感受那樣的狀態，就沒得選。

I wish it were that easy,

我希望如果事情有這麼簡單就好了。

but I'm not good at playing.

但是，我不擅長玩樂。

I don't like it.

我不喜歡。

I'm not interested in doing it the way I'm interested in doing work.

跟玩樂相比，我比較喜歡工作。

The truth is incredibly humbling and humiliating to face.

這事實讓人難以啟齒跟面對。

I don't like playing.

但我真的不喜歡玩樂。

I work all the time because I like working.

我成天工作，是因為我愛工作。

I like working more than I like being at home.

跟待在家比起來，我更喜歡工作。

Facing that fact is incredibly difficult to handle,

要去承認這事實， 是難以想像地難以處理。

because what kind of person likes working more than being at home?

因為有哪種人比較喜歡工作， 比較不喜歡待在家呢？

Well, me.

就是我。

I mean, let's be honest, I call myself a titan.

我指的是，坦白說， 從我自稱霸主這點，

I've got issues.

就看得出我就有點問題。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And one of those issues isn't that I am too relaxed.

而其中一個問題絕不是我太過放鬆。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We run around the yard, up and back and up and back.

我們來來回回地繞著庭院奔跑，

We have 30-second dance parties.

我們舉辦了一個三十秒的跳舞派對，

We sing show tunes. We play with balls.

我們唱節目主題曲、我們玩球。

I blow bubbles and they pop them.

我吹泡泡，然後孩子們把泡泡戳破。

And I feel stiff and delirious and confused most of the time.

我大部分時間 感到彆扭、開心又困惑，

I itch for my cell phone always.

總是忍不住想查看我的手機。

But it is OK.

但是那沒關係。

My tiny humans show me how to live and the hum of the universe fills me up.

我的小小霸主讓我知道如何生活 跟宇宙間「嗡」的感受充滿著我，

I play and I play until I begin to wonder

我一直玩耍，然後我不禁想：

why we ever stop playing in the first place.

為什麼我們不一開始就這樣玩呢？

You can do it too,

你也可以做得到。

say yes every time your child asks you to play.

你的孩子邀你一起玩時，每次都說好。

Are you thinking that maybe I'm an idiot in diamond shoes?

你或許覺得我是個 不食人間煙火的傻子？

You're right, but you can still do this.

你想得沒錯，但你還是做得到的。

You have time.

你是有時間的。

You know why? Because you're not Rihanna and you're not a Muppet.

你知道為什麼嗎？ 因為你不是蕾哈娜或大青蛙布偶。

Your child does not think you're that interesting.

你的孩子不會覺得 你有趣到想一直跟你玩。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

You only need 15 minutes.

你只需要 15 分鐘。

My two- and four-year-old only ever want to play with me

我的二歲跟四歲的孩子只會想跟我玩

for about 15 minutes or so

頂多 15 分鐘左右，

before they think to themselves they want to do something else.

之後就會想到要做別的事了。

It's an amazing 15 minutes, but it's 15 minutes.

那是很珍貴的 15 分鐘， 但就是 15 分鐘。

If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy, I'm invisible after 15 minutes.

除非我是瓢蟲或一顆彩糖， 否則 15 分鐘後我就會完全像個隱形人。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And my 13-year-old, if I can get a 13-year-old to talk to me for 15 minutes

而我 13 歲的孩子， 如果我能讓她跟我說話 15 分鐘，

I'm Parent of the Year.

那我就是年度最佳母親。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

15 minutes is all you need.

你只需要15 分鐘。

I can totally pull off 15 minutes of uninterrupted time on my worst day.

就算在我最糟的一天裡， 我也完全能挪出不中斷的 15 分鐘。

Uninterrupted is the key.

關鍵是不被中斷打擾。

No cell phone, no laundry, no anything.

不用手機、不洗衣或任何事，

You have a busy life. You have to get dinner on the table.

你有一個忙碌的生活， 你必須準備晚餐，

You have to force them to bathe. But you can do 15 minutes.

你必須強迫他們去洗澡， 但你絕對可以挪出 15 分鐘。

My kids are my happy place, they're my world,

我的孩子就像是我的樂園， 她們就是我的世界。

but it doesn't have to be your kids,

但不一定只有你的孩子

the fuel that feeds your hum,

能滿足你內心感受的燃料，

the place where life feels more good than not good.

「嗡」存在的地方 是好的感受多過不好的感受。

It's not about playing with your kids,

那不只是跟你的孩子玩耍，

it's about joy.

而是關於歡樂，

It's about playing in general.

是關於在任何事上的樂趣。

Give yourself the 15 minutes.

給你自己 15 分鐘的時間，

Find what makes you feel good.

找到讓你開心的事，

Just figure it out and play in that arena.

去找到，然後在那盡情玩樂就是了。

I'm not perfect at it. In fact, I fail as often as I succeed,

我對此並不完美。 事實上，我失敗的次數相當頻繁，

seeing friends, reading books, staring into space.

見見朋友、讀一本書、放空發呆，

"Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand for indulging myself

「要一起玩嗎？」變成一種 讓我寵愛自己的方式，

in ways I'd given up on right around the time I got my first TV show,

是在我得到第一個電視節目時、

right around the time I became a titan-in-training,

在我成為霸主的過程中、

right around the time I started competing with myself for ways unknown.

在我開始用未知的方式 跟自己較量時，原本萬萬沒想到的。

15 minutes? What could be wrong with giving myself my full attention

15 分鐘？給自己全心投入的 15 分鐘

for 15 minutes?

能有什麼錯？

Turns out, nothing.

結果並不會有什麼損失。

The very act of not working has made it possible for the hum to return,

那些想要讓狀態回來的努力，

as if the hum's engine could only refuel while I was away.

就好像只有我不在時， 「嗡」的動力才能重新點燃，

Work doesn't work without play.

工作若缺乏玩樂就不是工作了。

It takes a little time, but after a few months,

雖然花了一點時間，但幾個月後，

one day the floodgates open

一天，閘門打開了，

and there's a rush, and I find myself standing in my office

突然有種感覺， 我發現自己站在辦公室中，

filled with an unfamiliar melody, full on groove inside me,

空氣中響起不熟悉的旋律， 我感到節奏在我體內律動，

and around me, and it sends me spinning with ideas,

環繞著我，帶給我源源不絕的點子，

and the humming road is open, and I can drive it and drive it,

那條大道又敞開了， 我可以一直開下去，

and I love working again.

我再度愛上工作了。

But now, I like that hum, but I don't love that hum.

然而現在，我喜歡那種感受， 但我並沒有愛上那種感覺。

I don't need that hum.

我不再需要「嗡」了。

I am not that hum. That hum is not me,

我不是「嗡」，而它也不是我，

not anymore.

再也不是了。

I am bubbles and sticky fingers and dinners with friends.

我是那些泡泡、黏黏的手指、 跟朋友們的晚餐，

I am that hum.

我是那個「嗡」。

Life's hum.

生活的「嗡」。

Love's hum.

愛的「嗡」。

Work's hum is still a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me,

工作的「嗡」還是部分的我， 但已經不再是全部的我。

and I am so grateful.

我感到如此感激。

And I don't give a crap about being a titan,

我不再在乎自己是不是霸主，

because I have never once seen a titan play Red Rover, Red Rover.

因為我從沒看過哪個霸主 會跑去玩兒童遊戲。

I said yes to less work and more play, and somehow I still run my world.

我玩得更多、工作得更少， 而我的世界依然運轉著。

My brain is still global. My campfires still burn.

我的腦袋還是很厲害， 我的營火還在燃燒。

The more I play, the happier I am, and the happier my kids are.

我玩得越多，我越快樂， 我的孩子也是。

The more I play, the more I feel like a good mother.

我玩得越多，我越覺得我是個好媽媽，

The more I play, the freer my mind becomes.

我玩得越多，我的心智就越自由。

The more I play, the better I work.

我玩得越多，我工作得更好。

The more I play, the more I feel the hum,

我玩得越多，我越能感受到那個狀態、

the nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running,

那個我打造的王國、那場我跑的馬拉松，

the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum,

那批軍隊、那張畫布、那個高音， 那感受、那狀態，

the other hum, the real hum,

其他的「嗡」、真正的「嗡」，

life's hum.

生活的「嗡」。

The more I feel that hum,

當我越能感受到「嗡」，

the more this strange, quivering, uncocooned,

這個奇怪、顫動、破繭而出、

awkward, brand new,

怪異、嶄新、

alive non-titan feels like me.

充滿生氣的平凡人就越感覺像是我。

The more I feel that hum, the more I know who I am.

當我越能感受到「嗡」， 我越知道自己是誰：

I'm a writer, I make stuff up, I imagine.

我是作家，我創作，我想像。

That part of the job, that's living the dream.

這部分的工作，就是活在夢想中，

That's the dream of the job.

那是這個工作的理想狀態。

Because a dream job should be a little bit dreamy.

因為一個夢想中的工作， 就應該要有點夢幻才對。

I said yes to less work and more play.

我向多點玩樂、少點工作說好。

Titans need not apply.

各路霸主請勿輕易嘗試。

Wanna play?

要一起玩嗎？

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）