Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi Jones | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Coco Shen

I'm a professional troublemaker.

我是個職業的問題製造者。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

As my job is to critique the world,

我的工作是去批評世界、

the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better,

劣質體制，以及拒絕做更好的人，

as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --

我是個作家、演說家、 名聲不好的奈及利亞人──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

我覺得我的人生目的是要做這隻貓。

（笑聲） 〔至高無上斜眼看人之藝術家〕

(Laughter)

I am the person who is looking at other people,

我這種人在看其他人的方式是：

like, "I need you to fix it."

「我需要你改正。」

That is me.

那就是我。

I want us to leave this world better than we found it.

我要我們在離開這個世界時， 它變得比我們發現它時更好。

And how I choose to effect change

我選擇用來影響改變的方式

is by speaking up,

是把話說出來，

by being the first and by being the domino.

當第一個人，當骨牌。

For a line of dominoes to fall,

要讓一整排的骨牌倒下，

one has to fall first,

得要有一個骨牌先倒下，

which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same.

它就會讓其他骨牌 沒有選擇只能跟著倒下。

And that domino that falls,

而那倒下的骨牌，

we're hoping that, OK,

我們希望，好，

the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.

下一個看見這狀況的人 能夠被鼓舞，也去成為骨牌。

Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up

對我而言，身為骨牌， 就像是大聲說出來，

and doing the things that are really difficult,

然後去做真的很困難的事情，

especially when they are needed,

特別是當必須要去做的時候，

with the hope that others will follow suit.

且心懷希望，希望他人會跟進。

And here's the thing: I'm the person who says

重點是：我就是那個

what you might be thinking but dared not to say.

把你可能只敢想不敢說的話 說出來的人。

A lot of times people think that we're fearless,

常常，人們認為我們無所懼，

the people who do this, we're fearless.

認為做這些事的人是無所懼的。

We're not fearless.

我們並非無所懼。

We're not unafraid of the consequences

我們並非不害怕後果

or the sacrifices that we have to make

或是我們得要做的犧牲，

by speaking truth to power.

仍然對著掌權者大聲說出來。

What happens is, we feel like we have to,

實情是，我們覺得我們必須要做，

because there are too few people in the world

因為世界上太少人

willing to be the domino,

願意做骨牌，

too few people willing to take that fall.

太少人願意倒下。

We're not doing it without fear.

我們這樣做時也會恐懼。

Now, let's talk about fear.

咱們來談談恐懼。

I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.

我很清楚我長大之後要做什麼。

I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

我會說：「我將來要當醫生！」

Doctor Luvvie was the dream.

夢想是成為拉薇醫生。

I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.

在《小醫師大玩偶》 紅起來之前我就在演它了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I remember when I went to college,

我記得，當我上大學，

my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101

第一年，我得為我的主修醫學院預科

for my premed major.

修基礎化學，

I got the first and last D of my academic career.

我得到了我學術生涯中的 第一個和最後一個 D。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So I went to my advisor, and I was like,

我去找指導教授，我說：

"OK, let's drop the premed,

「好，放棄醫學院預科吧，

because this doctor thing is not going to work,

因為我不可能當醫生的，

because I don't even like hospitals.

因為我甚至不喜歡醫院。

So ..."

所以……」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"Let's just consider that done for."

「就當作已經試過了吧。」

And that same semester, I started blogging.

同一個學期，我開始寫部落格。

That was 2003.

那是 2003 年。

So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning.

當一個夢想結束後， 另一個夢想又開始了。

And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job

本來只是個可愛的嗜好， 2010 年我丟了行銷工作之後，

when I lost my marketing job in 2010.

這個嗜好就變成了我的全職工作，

But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer."

但我又花了兩年， 才能說出：「我是個作家。」

Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer,"

從我開始寫作一直到我說出 「我是個作家」，一共花了九年，

because I was afraid of what happens

因為我害怕沒有了 401k 退休福利計畫

without 401ks,

之後會發生什麼事，

without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit?

沒有「我要如何維持買鞋的習慣啊？

That's important to me."

那對我很重要。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So it took me that long to own this thing

我花了那麼長的時間才能承認那就是

that was what my purpose was.

我人生的目的。

And then I realized,

接著，我了解到，

fear has a very concrete power

恐懼的力量非常實在，

of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.

能讓我們不去做、不去說 我們人生的目的。

And I was like, "You know what?

而我說：「你知道嗎？

I'm not going to let fear rule my life.

我不要讓恐懼主宰我的人生。

I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do."

我不要讓恐懼來規定我要做什麼。」

And then all of these awesome things started happening,

接著，很棒的事情開始接連發生，

and dominoes started to fall.

骨牌開始倒下。

So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015,

當我發現時，我說： 「好，2015 年，

I turned 30,

我邁入三十歲，

it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.'

這年就是我的 『無論如何就去做』年。

Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it."

任何讓我害怕的事物， 我就要主動去追求它。」

So, I'm a Capricorn.

我是摩羯座。

I like my feel solidly on the ground.

我喜歡腳踏實地。

I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation,

我決定要第一次一個人單獨渡假，

and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic.

且是要出國，到多明尼加共和國。

So on my birthday, what did I do?

在我生日那天，我做了什麼？

I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana.

我去玩鋼索飛行， 穿越蓬塔卡納的森林。

And for some odd reason, I had on business casual.

因為很奇怪的理由， 我穿著商務便裝。

Don't ask why.

別問為什麼。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I had an incredible time.

我玩得好開心。

Also, I don't like being submerged in water.

此外，我不喜歡沉到水裡。

I like to be, again, on solid ground.

再說一次，我喜歡腳踏實地。

So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater.

所以我去墨西哥， 和海豚在水面下游泳。

And then the cool thing that I did also that year

那年我還做了一件很酷的事，

that was my mountain

對我很重要，

was I wrote my book,

就是我寫了我的書：

"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"

《我在評斷你：如何做得更好》

And I had to own --

那我現在應該──

(Applause)

（掌聲）

that whole writing thing now, right?

可以承認寫作這整件事了吧？

Yes.

是的。

But the very anti-me thing that I did that year

但在那一年我做了件 非常「反我」的事，

that scared the crap out of me --

把我嚇得半死的事──

I went skydiving.

我去跳傘了。

We're about to fall out of the plane.

我們正要掉下飛機。

I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."

我在說：「我一生中做過 一些蠢事，這是其中之一。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And then we come falling down to Earth,

接著我們就向下落向地球，

and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like,

當我看到地球時， 我真的無法呼吸了，我說：

「我剛剛故意掉出一架 完全沒故障的飛機。」

"I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"What is wrong with me?!"

「我有什麼毛病啊？！」

But then I looked down at the beauty,

但接著，我向下看著美景，

and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done.

我說：「這是我所能 做的事情當中最棒的了。

This was an amazing decision."

這是個了不起的決定。」

And I think about the times when I have to speak truth.

我想到我得要說實話的那些時候。

It feels like I am falling out of that plane.

感覺就像我從那架飛機上落下。

It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane,

感覺就像是我身在 飛機邊緣上的那一刻，

and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"

我說：「你不該這樣做。」

but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.

但我還是做了， 因為我知道我得要做。

Sitting at the edge of that plane

坐在那架飛機的邊緣，

and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me.

且對我來說，待在飛機上是舒適的。

And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth

我感覺就像是每天我都在說出真相，

against institutions and people who are bigger than me

來對抗比我巨大的制度和人，

and just forces that are more powerful than me,

他們就是比我更強大的力量，

I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.

我感覺就像我要從那架飛機上落下。

But I realize comfort is overrated.

但我了解到，舒適被高估了。

Because being quiet is comfortable.

因為，安靜不出聲很舒適。

Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable.

讓事物保持過去一直以來的樣子， 很舒適。

And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.

舒適能做的，就是維持現狀。

So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable

我們得用感到不舒適的方式 來得到舒適，

by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary.

要在必要的時候， 說出這些難說出口的真相。

And I --

而我……

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths,

不過，對我來說， 我了解到我得要說出這些真相，

because honesty is so important to me.

因為誠實對我相當重要。

My integrity is something I hold dear.

我非常重視我的廉正。

Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option.

正義──我不認為 正義應該是個選項。

We should always have justice.

我們應該一直要有正義。

Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --

此外，我相信乳油木果油是核心價值 （註：有保濕功能），

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized.

我認為，如果我們能更滋潤， 世界就會變得更好。

But besides that, with these as my core values,

除此之外，因為我有這些核心價值，

I have to speak the truth.

我得要說出真相。

I have no other choice in the matter.

在這件事上我沒得選擇。

But people like me, the professional troublemakers,

但像我這樣的人，職業問題製造者，

should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes

不應該是唯一投入 去擔任這些骨牌的人、

who are always falling out of planes

總是從飛機上落下的人，

or being the first one to take this hit.

或是最先成為箭靶的人。

People are so afraid of these acute consequences,

人們很害怕這些急性後果，

not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms

以致於他們沒發現， 很多時候，當我們走進房間，

and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms --

我們是那些房間中最強大的人──

we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.

我們可能是第二強大、第三強大。

And I firmly believe that our job in those times

而我堅信，在那些時候，我們的工作

is to disrupt what is happening.

是要阻斷正在發生的事。

And then if we're not the most powerful,

如果我們不是最強大的人，

if two more of us band together,

如果再有兩個我們的人團結起來，

it makes us powerful.

就能讓我們變強大。

It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting,

就像是在會議中的女性連署，

you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out,

你知道的，似乎無法發聲的女性，

or just making sure that other person who can't make a point

或是就只是確保無法 說出重點的另一個人

is being heard.

能被聽見。

Our job is to make sure they have room for that.

我們的工作是確保 他們有那樣的空間。

Everyone's well-being is community business.

每一個人的幸福都是整個社群的事。

If we made that a point, we'd understand that,

如果我們強調那點， 我們就會了解，

for the times when we need help,

如果我們確實曾幫助過別人，

we wouldn't have to look around so hard

當我們需要協助的時候，

if we made sure we were somebody else's help.

我們就不用那麼辛苦四處尋找了。

And there are times when I feel like

有些時候，我會覺得

I have taken very public tumbles and falls,

我時常在眾人前挑戰權威， 但失敗。

like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference,

像有一次，我被邀請 到會議上演說，

and they wanted me to pay my way there.

他們要我自費過去那裡。

And then I did some research

我接著做了些研究，

and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated

發現在那裡演說的白人能得到補助，

and got their travel paid for.

他們不用自己付旅費。

The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for.

到那裡演說的白種女性， 一樣不用自己付旅費。

The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.

而去那裡演說的黑人女性， 則被認為應該要自費前往。

And I was like, "What do I do?"

我說：「我要怎麼做？」

And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly,

我知道如果我公開說出這件事，

我可能要面對財務上的損失。

I could face financial loss.

But then I also understood that my silence serves no one.

但我也了解，我的沉默 是無法幫助別人的。

So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,

所以我很恐懼地公開說出了這件事，

and other women started coming out to talk about,

其他女性也開始站出來談論：

"I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality."

「我也有面臨到這種 付費不平等的問題。」

And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices

接著開啟了一個對談，內容是在談

這個會議所參與的歧視性支付做法。

that this conference was participating in.

I felt like I was the domino

當我讀到一位公眾人物的自傳時，

the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure

我感到很不舒服， 寫了篇關於它的文章，

and wrote a piece about it.

我覺得我就是骨牌。

I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career,

我知道這個人比我強大， 這事可能會衝擊我的職涯，

but I was like, "I've got to do this.

但我說：「我得做這件事。

I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours.

我得要坐在這架飛機的邊緣上， 也許坐個兩小時。」

And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.

而我做了。我按下「發佈」， 然後趕快逃走。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I came back to a viral post

我回來看到一篇瘋狂轉傳的貼文，

and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this."

人們在說：「我的天， 我好高興終於有人這麼做了。」

And it started a conversation

它帶起了交談，

about mental health and self-care,

談到心理健康和自我照護，

and I was like, "OK. Alright.

我說：「好。

This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."

我在做的這件事，我想， 好，它應該有影響。」

And then so many people have been the domino

接著，好多人都成了骨牌，

when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men.

他們談論到自己如何 被強大的人給攻擊。

And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too."

結果讓數百萬女性加入， 說出「我也是」。

So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.

這是對於塔拉納柏克 點燃那運動的大喊。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are.

人和體制要靠我們的沉默，才能 把我們維持在我們現在的位置。

Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are.

有時，成為骨牌可以歸結成 成為你真正的自己。

So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.

我從三歲以來，就一直名聲不好。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

This is me on my third birthday.

這是我三歲生日的照片。

But I've been this girl all my life,

但我一生都一直是這個女孩，

and I feel like even that's been the domino,

我覺得，就連那也是在當骨牌，

because in a world that wants us to walk around

因為在這個世界，想要我們四處走動

as representatives of ourselves,

來當我們自身代表的世界中，

being yourself can be a revolutionary act.

做自己可能就是個革命性的舉動。

And in a world that wants us to whisper,

在一個想要我們低語的的世界中，

I choose to yell.

我選擇吶喊。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

When it's time to say these hard things,

當到了該說出難以說出口的話時，

I ask myself three things.

我會問我自己三件事。

One: Did you mean it?

第一：你是認真的嗎？

Two: Can you defend it?

第二：你能為它辯護嗎？

Three: Did you say it with love?

第三：你是否帶著愛而說？

If the answer is yes to all three,

如果三個答案都是「是」，

I say it and let the chips fall.

我就會說出來，不顧後果。

That's important.

那很重要。

That checkpoint with myself

我自己設的這種檢查方式

always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this."

總是告訴我： 「是的，你該做這件事。」

Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths --

說出真相 ──說出考慮周到的真相──

should not be a revolutionary act.

不該是種革命性的舉動。

Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.

對有權力的人說出真相， 不該是種犧牲，但偏偏就是。

But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good,

但我認為，如果我們更多人能 選擇為了大我而這麼做，

we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.

我們的景況會比現在更好。

Speaking of the greater good,

說到大我，

I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges

我認為，我們要致力去 說出真相來建立橋樑，

to common ground,

來連結共同點，

and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse.

不是以真相為基礎 所搭起的橋樑一定會垮。

So it is our job,

所以，我們的工作、

it is our obligation, it is our duty

我們的義務、我們的責任，

to speak truth to power, to be the domino,

就是要有權者說出真相，要當骨牌，

not just when it's difficult --

並不只是在很困難時要做──

especially when it's difficult.

在很困難時更特別一定要做。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）