Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi Jones | TED

4,461,935 views ・ 2018-01-02

TED


Videoni ijro etish uchun quyidagi inglizcha subtitrlarga ikki marta bosing.

Translator: Parvina Khujaeva Reviewer: Nazarbek Nazarov
00:12
I'm a professional troublemaker.
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Men professional buzg’unchiman.
00:14
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
00:16
As my job is to critique the world,
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Mening ishim dunyoni, soxta tizimlarni hamda yaxshi ishlarni
00:22
the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better,
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amalga oshirishni istamaydigan odamlarni yozuvchi, ma’ruzachi, nigeriyalik
00:25
as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --
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ajdodlarga ega inson sifatida tanqid qilishdir.
00:29
(Laughter)
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00:30
I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.
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(Kulgi) Mening maqsadim shunday mushuk bo’lish deb his qilaman.
00:34
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
00:36
I am the person who is looking at other people,
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Men boshqa odamlarga qarab, ularga “Buni tuzatishingiz
00:39
like, "I need you to fix it."
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kerak” deydigan insonman.
00:41
That is me.
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Men shundayman.
00:42
I want us to leave this world better than we found it.
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Men bu dunyoga kelganimizdagidan ko’ra yaxshiroq qilib tark etishimizni istayman
00:47
And how I choose to effect change
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Men notiqligim orqali
00:50
is by speaking up,
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va birinch domino bo’lish yo’li bilan o’zgarishni amalga oshirishni tanladim.
00:51
by being the first and by being the domino.
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00:55
For a line of dominoes to fall,
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Qator dominolarning qulashi uchun
00:57
one has to fall first,
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avval birinchisi qulashi kerak,
00:59
which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same.
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bu esa boshqa dominolarga o’zgacha yo’l qoldirmaydi.
01:03
And that domino that falls,
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Va biz umid qilamizki
01:04
we're hoping that, OK,
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o’sha tushgan domino
01:07
the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.
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boshqa insonlarni ham domino bo’lishga ilhomlantiradi.
01:12
Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up
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Domino bo’lish men uchun, gapirish va qiyin bo’lgan
01:15
and doing the things that are really difficult,
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vazifalarnini, ayniqsa, kerak bo’lgan vaqtda
01:17
especially when they are needed,
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boshqa insonlar ergashish umidi bilan
01:19
with the hope that others will follow suit.
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qilish demakdir.
01:23
And here's the thing: I'm the person who says
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Va gap shundaki: men siz o’ylagan
01:25
what you might be thinking but dared not to say.
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lekin aytishga jur’at qilolmagan fikrni gapiradigan insonman.
01:29
A lot of times people think that we're fearless,
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Ko’p bora odamlar bizni qo’rqmas
01:31
the people who do this, we're fearless.
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deb hisoblaydilar.
01:33
We're not fearless.
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Biz qo’rqmas emasmiz.
01:35
We're not unafraid of the consequences
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Biz haqiqatni mansabdorlarga so’ylashimiz
01:37
or the sacrifices that we have to make
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oqibatlaridan yoki qurbonliklardan
01:39
by speaking truth to power.
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qo’rqmaymiz emas. Haqiqat shundaki,
01:41
What happens is, we feel like we have to,
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biz shunday qilishimiz kerakligini his qilamiz
01:44
because there are too few people in the world
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chunki dunyoda domino bo’lishga tayyor insonlar soni
01:46
willing to be the domino,
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juda oz, birinchi turtki bo’lishni
01:48
too few people willing to take that fall.
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istaydigan insonlar soni juda ozligidadir. Biz
01:50
We're not doing it without fear.
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buni qo’rquvsiz qilmayapmiz. Endi
01:52
Now, let's talk about fear.
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qo’rquv haqida gapiraylik.
01:54
I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.
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Men yoshligimda kelajakda kim bo’lishimni aniq
01:56
I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"
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bilardim. “Men shifokor bo’laman!“ derdim.
01:58
Doctor Luvvie was the dream.
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Doktor Luvvi bo’lish mening
02:00
I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.
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orzuyim edi. Men Doktor MakStaffins, edim.
02:03
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
02:04
And I remember when I went to college,
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Eslayman kollejni birinchi kursida bo’lganimda,
02:06
my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101
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tibbiyot yo’nalishi uchun Kimyo fanini olishga majbur bo’lganman.
02:10
for my premed major.
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Men ta’lim faoliyatim
02:13
I got the first and last D of my academic career.
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mobaynida birinchi va oxirgi yomon bahomni oldim.
02:16
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
02:17
So I went to my advisor, and I was like,
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Shundan keyin universitetdagi maslahatchiga bordim,
02:20
"OK, let's drop the premed,
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va shunday dedim: ”Shifokorlikni tashlayman,
02:22
because this doctor thing is not going to work,
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chunki bu kasb men uchun emas ekan,
02:25
because I don't even like hospitals.
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shifoxonalarni hatto yoqtirmayman.
02:26
So ..."
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Shunday qilib....”
02:27
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
02:29
"Let's just consider that done for."
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“Bu kasb men uchun emas deb hisoblaylik.”
02:31
And that same semester, I started blogging.
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O’sha o’quv yilida, blogerlikni boshladim.
02:34
That was 2003.
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Bu 2003 yilda edi.
02:35
So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning.
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Shunday qilib, bitta orzu tugashi bilan, boshqasi
02:38
And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job
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boshlanayotgan edi. Va 2010 yilda marketing ishimdan ayrilganimdan keyin
02:42
when I lost my marketing job in 2010.
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hobbiyim to’liq ishimga aylandi.
Ammo “Men yozuvchiman “ deyishimga yana ikki yil kerak bo’ldi.
02:45
But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer."
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02:48
Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer,"
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Yozishni boshlaganimdan to’qqiz yildan so’ng, men “yozuvchiman”, deya oldim,
02:53
because I was afraid of what happens
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chunki maoshsiz qolishdan, ayniqsa poyafzal
02:56
without 401ks,
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xarid qilish odatimni qanday
02:58
without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit?
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davom ettira olishimdan qo’rqardim. Bu men
03:01
That's important to me."
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uchun juda muhim.”
03:02
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
03:03
So it took me that long to own this thing
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Shunday ekan, bu maqsadga erishish uchun
03:06
that was what my purpose was.
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uzoq vaqt talab etdi.
03:08
And then I realized,
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Keyin tushunib yetdimki,
03:09
fear has a very concrete power
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qo’rquv bizni o’zimizning maqsadlarimizni
03:11
of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.
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gapirishdan va bajarishdan saqlaydigan katta qudratga ega. Va men
03:16
And I was like, "You know what?
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o’zimga dedim, ”bilasan-mi nima?
03:18
I'm not going to let fear rule my life.
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Qo’rquv meni hayotimni boshqarishiga yo’l qo’ymayman”.
03:21
I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do."
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Men qilmoqchi bo’lgan ishlarga qo’rquvga yo’l qo’ymayman”.
03:24
And then all of these awesome things started happening,
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So’ngra barcha ajoyib narsalar boshlana yozdi
03:27
and dominoes started to fall.
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va dominolar tushishni boshladi.
03:29
So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015,
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Men shuni tushunib yetganimdan so’ng, “Xo’sh, 2015 yil,
03:32
I turned 30,
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30 yoshga to’ldim,
03:33
it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.'
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bu yil meni qo’rqitadigan har qanday narsani,
03:36
Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it."
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faol ravishda ta’qib qilaman.”
03:39
So, I'm a Capricorn.
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Mening burjim Uloq.
03:41
I like my feel solidly on the ground.
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Men yerda turishni yoqtiraman.
03:45
I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation,
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Men birinchi bor o’zim chet elga safar qilishga qaror qildim,
03:48
and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic.
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va Dominikan Respublikasiga qarab yo’l oldim.
03:51
So on my birthday, what did I do?
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Xo’sh, men tug’ilgan kunimda nima qildim?
03:54
I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana.
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Punta-Kana o’rmonlaridan ziplayn qildim.
03:57
And for some odd reason, I had on business casual.
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Va ba’zi bir sababga ko’ra, ish kiyimida edim.
04:00
Don't ask why.
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Nimagaligini so’ramang.
04:01
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
04:03
And I had an incredible time.
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Va men ajoyib vaqt o’tkazdim.
04:05
Also, I don't like being submerged in water.
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Bundan tashqari, men suv ostida bo’lishni
04:07
I like to be, again, on solid ground.
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yoqtirmayman. Men, aytganimday, yer ustida
04:09
So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater.
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bo’lishni yoqtiraman. Men Meksikaga bordim va suv ostidadelfinlar bilan suzdim.
04:15
And then the cool thing that I did also that year
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Va o’sha yili men qilgan yana bir ajoyib narsa
04:17
that was my mountain
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menga tog’ bo’lgan
04:19
was I wrote my book,
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“Men sizga hukm chiqarayapman:
04:21
"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"
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yaxshiroq bajarish bo’yicha qo’llanma”
04:23
And I had to own --
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kitobini yozdim.
04:24
(Applause)
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Va men -- (Qarsaklar)
04:25
that whole writing thing now, right?
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endi esa yozish masalasi, to’g’rimi?
04:27
Yes.
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Ha.
04:29
But the very anti-me thing that I did that year
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Lekin meni eng qo’rqitgan va menga hos bo’lmagan
04:32
that scared the crap out of me --
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narsani qildim va bu -- Men
04:34
I went skydiving.
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parashyutdan sakrashga bordim.
04:37
We're about to fall out of the plane.
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Biz samolyotdan sakrash arafasidamiz.
04:39
I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."
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O’zimga, “Men hayotda ahmoqona narsalar qilganman, bu ulardan biri.”
04:42
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
04:43
And then we come falling down to Earth,
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Va keyin yerga qulashni boshladik,
04:45
and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like,
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va men yerni ko’rganimda, tilim ojiz bo’p qoldi, va men o’zimga
04:49
"I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."
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“Nahotki o’z ihtiyorim bilan samolyotdan sakradim”.
04:51
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
04:52
"What is wrong with me?!"
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“Menga nima bo’lgan?!”
04:54
But then I looked down at the beauty,
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Ammo keyin pastdagi go’zallikka qarab,
04:56
and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done.
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o’zimga, “Bu men qilgan eng yaxshi narsa.
04:58
This was an amazing decision."
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Bu ajoyib qaror ekan.” Va haqiqatni gapirishim
05:01
And I think about the times when I have to speak truth.
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kerak bo’lgan paytlar haqida o’ylayman.
05:04
It feels like I am falling out of that plane.
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Men samolyotdan sakrayotganday o’zimni his qilaman.
05:07
It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane,
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Men samolyotning chekkasida turganday o’zimni his qilaman, va
05:10
and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"
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o’zimga “Sen buni qilmasliging kerak”,
05:12
but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.
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deyman-u lekin baribir qilaman, chunki men qilishim
05:15
Sitting at the edge of that plane
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kerakligini bilaman. O’sha
05:17
and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me.
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samolyotning chetida o’tirish va o’sha samolyotda qolish
05:20
And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth
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men uchun tasalli. Men har kuni mendanda
05:22
against institutions and people who are bigger than me
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kuchliroq bo’lgan muassasalar va odamlarga qarshi haqiqatni
05:25
and just forces that are more powerful than me,
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gapirayotganimni his qilaman, o’zimni huddi
05:27
I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.
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samolyotdan qulayotganday his qilaman.
05:29
But I realize comfort is overrated.
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Lekin nazarimda qulaylikka o’ta yuqori
05:31
Because being quiet is comfortable.
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baho berilgan. Chunki jim bo’lish qulay.
05:34
Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable.
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Hamma narsani borligicha qoldirish qulay. Qulaylik amalga oshira olgan
vazifa, shunchaki vaziyatni borligicha saqlashda.
05:38
And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.
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05:40
So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable
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Shuning uchun biz bu qiyin haqiqatlarni
05:43
by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary.
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zarur bo’lganda gapirishga odatlanishimiz kerak.
05:46
And I --
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Va men --
05:48
(Applause)
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(Qarsaklar)
05:51
And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths,
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Va men bu haqiqatlarni gapirishim kerakligini bilaman, chunki
05:55
because honesty is so important to me.
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to’g’ri so’zlik men uchun juda muhim.
05:57
My integrity is something I hold dear.
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Mening yaxlitligim men uchun aziz.
05:59
Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option.
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Adolat - Men adolatni tanlov deb hisoblamayman. Bizda
06:01
We should always have justice.
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doim adolat bo’lishi kerak.
06:03
Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --
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Bundan tashqari, shea yog’iga asosiy qiymat sifatida ishonaman va -
06:06
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi) nazarimda agar
06:08
and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized.
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ko’proq o’zimizga qaraganimizda, dunyo yaxshiroq bo’lar edi. Bular mening
06:12
But besides that, with these as my core values,
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asosiy qadriyatlari bo’lganligi uchun, men haqiqatni
06:15
I have to speak the truth.
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gapirishim lozim.
06:16
I have no other choice in the matter.
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Bu borada boshqa bir tanlov yo’q.
06:18
But people like me, the professional troublemakers,
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Men kabi odamlar, professional buzg’unchilar,
06:20
should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes
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har doim samolyotlardan tushadigan dominolar yoki birinchi zarbani
06:24
who are always falling out of planes
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olishga majbur bo’lgan yagona
06:25
or being the first one to take this hit.
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odamlar bo’lishi kerak emas. Odamlar
06:27
People are so afraid of these acute consequences,
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bu o’tkir oqibatlardan shu darajada qo’rqishadiki,
06:30
not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms
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xonalarga kirganimizda, biz shu xonadagi eng kuchli
06:33
and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms --
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odamlardan biri bo’lishimiz, biz ikkinchi yo uchinchi --
06:36
we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.
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eng kuchlisi bo’lishimiz mumkinligini anglamaymiz.
06:39
And I firmly believe that our job in those times
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Va men shu holatlarda bizni ishimiz bo’layotgan
06:42
is to disrupt what is happening.
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nohaqliklarni buzish ekanligiga ishonaman.
06:44
And then if we're not the most powerful,
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Agarda biz eng qudratlisi bo’lmasakda,
06:46
if two more of us band together,
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bizni birga birlashganimiz
06:48
it makes us powerful.
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bizni kuchli qiladi.
06:49
It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting,
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Bu huddi ayolni majlisga taklif qilish,
06:52
you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out,
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so’zini aytishga qiynalayotgan ayol
06:55
or just making sure that other person who can't make a point
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yoki o’z fikrini ifodala olmaydigan odamning gapi eshitilishiga
06:58
is being heard.
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imkon yaratishdir.
07:00
Our job is to make sure they have room for that.
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Bizning vazifamiz ular uchun imkon yaratish. Har bir insonning
07:03
Everyone's well-being is community business.
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farovonligi - bu jamoa mas’uliyatidir.
07:05
If we made that a point, we'd understand that,
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Shu narsani ommaga anglatolsak, biz yordamga
07:07
for the times when we need help,
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muhtoj bo’lgan paytlarda, atrofga
07:09
we wouldn't have to look around so hard
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qaramagan bo’lardik, bizning o’zimiz
07:11
if we made sure we were somebody else's help.
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yordam beruvchi ekanligimizni anglaganimizda.
07:14
And there are times when I feel like
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Shunday vaziyatlar borki men o’zimni
07:16
I have taken very public tumbles and falls,
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huddi omma oldida yiqilganday his qilganman masalan meni konferensiyaga
07:20
like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference,
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taklif etishdi va men
07:22
and they wanted me to pay my way there.
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biroz izlanishlar olib bordim va u yerda gapirgan oq tanli kishilarning yo’l
07:26
And then I did some research
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07:27
and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated
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07:30
and got their travel paid for.
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harajatlari qoplanishini bildim.
07:32
The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for.
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Hamda oq tanli ayollarning ham yo’l harajatlari qoplangan ekan.
07:35
The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.
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U yerda gapirgan qora tanli ayollar esa gapirish uchun pul to’lashlari kerak ekan.
07:40
And I was like, "What do I do?"
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Va o’zimga: “Nima qilaman endi?”
07:42
And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly,
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Men bu haqida ochiqchasiga gapirsam, moliyaviy zararga
07:45
I could face financial loss.
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duch kelishimni bilardim. Ammo
07:47
But then I also understood that my silence serves no one.
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mening ham sukunatim hech kimga xizmat qilmasligini tushundim.
07:50
So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,
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Shuning uchun bu haqida ochiqchasiga qo’rquv bilan
07:53
and other women started coming out to talk about,
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gapira boshladim va shunda boshqa ayollar: “Men ham
07:56
"I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality."
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to’lov tengsizligiga duch kelganman”, deya boshlashdi.
Va bu konferensiya to’lov diskriminatsiya qilishi
07:59
And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices
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08:02
that this conference was participating in.
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haqida ommaviy suhbat boshlanishiga turtki berdi. Men
08:04
I felt like I was the domino
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bir jamoat arbobi haqida havotirli yodnomani o’qib
08:07
the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure
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u haqida maqola yozgan vaqtdagi kabi o’zimni his qildim.
08:09
and wrote a piece about it.
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Men bu insonning mendan
08:11
I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career,
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ko’ra kuchliroq ekanini va mehnat faoliyatimga ta’sir etishi mumkinligini
08:15
but I was like, "I've got to do this.
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bilardim, ammo “baribir qilishim kerak.
Men bu samolyotning chekkasida ikki soatga o’tirishim kerak” dedim.
08:17
I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours.
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08:20
And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.
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Va buni qildim. “Chop etish” belgisini bosdim-u
08:22
(Laughter)
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qochib kettim. (Kulgi)
08:23
And I came back to a viral post
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Va qaytib kelganimda chop etgan postimga
08:25
and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this."
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odamlar: “Ey Xudoyim, kimdir bu gapni aytganidan juda ham mamnun bo’ldim “.
08:29
And it started a conversation
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Va bu ruhiy salomatlik va o’ziga
08:31
about mental health and self-care,
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g’amxo’rlik haqida suhbatni boshladi, va men o’zimga
08:33
and I was like, "OK. Alright.
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“Hop, yaxshi.
08:35
This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."
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Men qilayotgan narsa, menimcha, o’zgarishga asos solyapti.”
08:39
And then so many people have been the domino
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Va keyin juda ko’p odamlar kuchli kishilar tomondon
08:43
when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men.
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hujumlanganlari haqida gapirganlarida ular ham birinchilardan bo’lgan edilar.
08:47
And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too."
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Va millionlab ayollar birgalikda: “Menda ham”, deyishdi. Buning
08:52
So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.
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uchun Tarana Burkga bu harakatni boshlagani uchun rahmat.
08:55
(Applause)
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(Qarsaklar)
09:01
People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are.
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Odamlar va tizimlar bizni joyimizda qoldirish uchun sukunatimizga tayanadi.
Endi, birinchilardan bo’lishiz siz kim ekanligingizga taqaladi.
09:08
Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are.
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09:14
So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.
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Men uch yoshimdan beri shubhali odam bo’lib kelganman.
09:17
(Laughter)
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(Kulgi)
09:18
This is me on my third birthday.
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Bu uchinchi tug’ilgan kunimda.
09:20
But I've been this girl all my life,
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Lekin men butun hayotim davomida shu qiz bo’ldim,
09:23
and I feel like even that's been the domino,
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shu domino bo’lishimga turtki bo’lganligini
09:25
because in a world that wants us to walk around
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his etaman, chunki bizni o’zimizni vakil
09:27
as representatives of ourselves,
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sifatida yurishni xohlaydigan dunyoda
09:29
being yourself can be a revolutionary act.
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o’zingiz bo’lishingiz inqilobiy harakat
09:32
And in a world that wants us to whisper,
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bo’lishi mumkin. Va bizni pichirlashni xohlaydigan
09:34
I choose to yell.
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dunyoda men baqirishni tanlayman.
(Qarsaklar)
09:37
(Applause)
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Bu qiyin narsalarni aytish vaqti kelganda, men
09:42
When it's time to say these hard things,
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09:44
I ask myself three things.
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o’zimdan uchta savolni so’rayman.
09:46
One: Did you mean it?
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Bir: Uni nazarda tutdingmi?
09:48
Two: Can you defend it?
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Ikki: Uni himoya qila olasanmi?
09:51
Three: Did you say it with love?
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Uch: Uni sevgi bilan aytdingmi?
09:53
If the answer is yes to all three,
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Agar uchalasiga ham “ha” javobi bo’lsa, men
09:55
I say it and let the chips fall.
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buni aytaman va oqibatidan qo’rqmayman.
09:59
That's important.
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Bu muhim.
10:00
That checkpoint with myself
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Bu nazorat nuqtasi menga doimo:
10:02
always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this."
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“Ha, sen buni qilishing kerak”, deb ta’kidlaydi.
10:06
Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths --
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Haqiqatni gapirish-mulohazali haqiqatni- inqilobiy
harakat bo’lishi shart emas.
10:09
should not be a revolutionary act.
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10:12
Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.
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Kuchga haqiqatni gapirish qurbonlik bo’lmasligi kerak, ammo shunday.
10:16
But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good,
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Agar ko’pchiligimiz buni yaxshilik uchun tanlagan bo’lsak,
10:19
we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.
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biz hozirdan ko’ra yaxshiroq joyda bo’lamiz.
10:23
Speaking of the greater good,
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Yaxshilik haqida gapirar
10:25
I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges
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ekanmiz, biz haqiqat ko’priklarinin o’rnatish uchun haqiqatni gapirishga
10:28
to common ground,
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majburmiz deb o’ylayman.
10:30
and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse.
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va haqiqatga asoslanmagan ko’priklar esa qulaydi.
10:33
So it is our job,
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Demak, kuch - qudratga gapirish
10:35
it is our obligation, it is our duty
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bu bizning vazifamiz, bu bizning majburiyatimiz, bizning burchimiz
10:38
to speak truth to power, to be the domino,
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birinchilardan bo’lish, faqat
10:41
not just when it's difficult --
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qiyin bo’lgan paytlarda emas,
10:43
especially when it's difficult.
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ayniqsa qiyin bo’lgan paytlarda.
10:45
Thank you.
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Rahmat.
10:46
(Applause)
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(Qarsaklar)
Ushbu veb-sayt haqida

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