Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi Jones | TED

Translator: Parvina Khujaeva Reviewer: Nazarbek Nazarov

I'm a professional troublemaker.

Men professional buzg’unchiman.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

As my job is to critique the world,

Mening ishim dunyoni, soxta tizimlarni hamda yaxshi ishlarni

the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better,

amalga oshirishni istamaydigan odamlarni yozuvchi, ma’ruzachi, nigeriyalik

as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian --

ajdodlarga ega inson sifatida tanqid qilishdir.

(Laughter)

I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

(Kulgi) Mening maqsadim shunday mushuk bo’lish deb his qilaman.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

I am the person who is looking at other people,

Men boshqa odamlarga qarab, ularga “Buni tuzatishingiz

like, "I need you to fix it."

kerak” deydigan insonman.

That is me.

Men shundayman.

I want us to leave this world better than we found it.

Men bu dunyoga kelganimizdagidan ko’ra yaxshiroq qilib tark etishimizni istayman

And how I choose to effect change

Men notiqligim orqali

is by speaking up,

va birinch domino bo’lish yo’li bilan o’zgarishni amalga oshirishni tanladim.

by being the first and by being the domino.

For a line of dominoes to fall,

Qator dominolarning qulashi uchun

one has to fall first,

avval birinchisi qulashi kerak,

which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same.

bu esa boshqa dominolarga o’zgacha yo’l qoldirmaydi.

And that domino that falls,

Va biz umid qilamizki

we're hoping that, OK,

o’sha tushgan domino

the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino.

boshqa insonlarni ham domino bo’lishga ilhomlantiradi.

Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up

Domino bo’lish men uchun, gapirish va qiyin bo’lgan

and doing the things that are really difficult,

vazifalarnini, ayniqsa, kerak bo’lgan vaqtda

especially when they are needed,

boshqa insonlar ergashish umidi bilan

with the hope that others will follow suit.

qilish demakdir.

And here's the thing: I'm the person who says

Va gap shundaki: men siz o’ylagan

what you might be thinking but dared not to say.

lekin aytishga jur’at qilolmagan fikrni gapiradigan insonman.

A lot of times people think that we're fearless,

Ko’p bora odamlar bizni qo’rqmas

the people who do this, we're fearless.

deb hisoblaydilar.

We're not fearless.

Biz qo’rqmas emasmiz.

We're not unafraid of the consequences

Biz haqiqatni mansabdorlarga so’ylashimiz

or the sacrifices that we have to make

oqibatlaridan yoki qurbonliklardan

by speaking truth to power.

qo’rqmaymiz emas. Haqiqat shundaki,

What happens is, we feel like we have to,

biz shunday qilishimiz kerakligini his qilamiz

because there are too few people in the world

chunki dunyoda domino bo’lishga tayyor insonlar soni

willing to be the domino,

juda oz, birinchi turtki bo’lishni

too few people willing to take that fall.

istaydigan insonlar soni juda ozligidadir. Biz

We're not doing it without fear.

buni qo’rquvsiz qilmayapmiz. Endi

Now, let's talk about fear.

qo’rquv haqida gapiraylik.

I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Men yoshligimda kelajakda kim bo’lishimni aniq

I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

bilardim. “Men shifokor bo’laman!“ derdim.

Doctor Luvvie was the dream.

Doktor Luvvi bo’lish mening

I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing.

orzuyim edi. Men Doktor MakStaffins, edim.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

And I remember when I went to college,

Eslayman kollejni birinchi kursida bo’lganimda,

my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101

tibbiyot yo’nalishi uchun Kimyo fanini olishga majbur bo’lganman.

for my premed major.

Men ta’lim faoliyatim

I got the first and last D of my academic career.

mobaynida birinchi va oxirgi yomon bahomni oldim.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

So I went to my advisor, and I was like,

Shundan keyin universitetdagi maslahatchiga bordim,

"OK, let's drop the premed,

va shunday dedim: ”Shifokorlikni tashlayman,

because this doctor thing is not going to work,

chunki bu kasb men uchun emas ekan,

because I don't even like hospitals.

shifoxonalarni hatto yoqtirmayman.

So ..."

Shunday qilib....”

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

"Let's just consider that done for."

“Bu kasb men uchun emas deb hisoblaylik.”

And that same semester, I started blogging.

O’sha o’quv yilida, blogerlikni boshladim.

That was 2003.

Bu 2003 yilda edi.

So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning.

Shunday qilib, bitta orzu tugashi bilan, boshqasi

And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job

boshlanayotgan edi. Va 2010 yilda marketing ishimdan ayrilganimdan keyin

when I lost my marketing job in 2010.

hobbiyim to’liq ishimga aylandi.

Ammo “Men yozuvchiman “ deyishimga yana ikki yil kerak bo’ldi.

But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer."

Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer,"

Yozishni boshlaganimdan to’qqiz yildan so’ng, men “yozuvchiman”, deya oldim,

because I was afraid of what happens

chunki maoshsiz qolishdan, ayniqsa poyafzal

without 401ks,

xarid qilish odatimni qanday

without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit?

davom ettira olishimdan qo’rqardim. Bu men

That's important to me."

uchun juda muhim.”

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

So it took me that long to own this thing

Shunday ekan, bu maqsadga erishish uchun

that was what my purpose was.

uzoq vaqt talab etdi.

And then I realized,

Keyin tushunib yetdimki,

fear has a very concrete power

qo’rquv bizni o’zimizning maqsadlarimizni

of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.

gapirishdan va bajarishdan saqlaydigan katta qudratga ega. Va men

And I was like, "You know what?

o’zimga dedim, ”bilasan-mi nima?

I'm not going to let fear rule my life.

Qo’rquv meni hayotimni boshqarishiga yo’l qo’ymayman”.

I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do."

Men qilmoqchi bo’lgan ishlarga qo’rquvga yo’l qo’ymayman”.

And then all of these awesome things started happening,

So’ngra barcha ajoyib narsalar boshlana yozdi

and dominoes started to fall.

va dominolar tushishni boshladi.

So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015,

Men shuni tushunib yetganimdan so’ng, “Xo’sh, 2015 yil,

I turned 30,

30 yoshga to’ldim,

it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.'

bu yil meni qo’rqitadigan har qanday narsani,

Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it."

faol ravishda ta’qib qilaman.”

So, I'm a Capricorn.

Mening burjim Uloq.

I like my feel solidly on the ground.

Men yerda turishni yoqtiraman.

I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation,

Men birinchi bor o’zim chet elga safar qilishga qaror qildim,

and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic.

va Dominikan Respublikasiga qarab yo’l oldim.

So on my birthday, what did I do?

Xo’sh, men tug’ilgan kunimda nima qildim?

I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana.

Punta-Kana o’rmonlaridan ziplayn qildim.

And for some odd reason, I had on business casual.

Va ba’zi bir sababga ko’ra, ish kiyimida edim.

Don't ask why.

Nimagaligini so’ramang.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

And I had an incredible time.

Va men ajoyib vaqt o’tkazdim.

Also, I don't like being submerged in water.

Bundan tashqari, men suv ostida bo’lishni

I like to be, again, on solid ground.

yoqtirmayman. Men, aytganimday, yer ustida

So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater.

bo’lishni yoqtiraman. Men Meksikaga bordim va suv ostidadelfinlar bilan suzdim.

And then the cool thing that I did also that year

Va o’sha yili men qilgan yana bir ajoyib narsa

that was my mountain

menga tog’ bo’lgan

was I wrote my book,

“Men sizga hukm chiqarayapman:

"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"

yaxshiroq bajarish bo’yicha qo’llanma”

And I had to own --

kitobini yozdim.

(Applause)

Va men -- (Qarsaklar)

that whole writing thing now, right?

endi esa yozish masalasi, to’g’rimi?

Yes.

Ha.

But the very anti-me thing that I did that year

Lekin meni eng qo’rqitgan va menga hos bo’lmagan

that scared the crap out of me --

narsani qildim va bu -- Men

I went skydiving.

parashyutdan sakrashga bordim.

We're about to fall out of the plane.

Biz samolyotdan sakrash arafasidamiz.

I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them."

O’zimga, “Men hayotda ahmoqona narsalar qilganman, bu ulardan biri.”

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

And then we come falling down to Earth,

Va keyin yerga qulashni boshladik,

and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like,

va men yerni ko’rganimda, tilim ojiz bo’p qoldi, va men o’zimga

"I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose."

“Nahotki o’z ihtiyorim bilan samolyotdan sakradim”.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

"What is wrong with me?!"

“Menga nima bo’lgan?!”

But then I looked down at the beauty,

Ammo keyin pastdagi go’zallikka qarab,

and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done.

o’zimga, “Bu men qilgan eng yaxshi narsa.

This was an amazing decision."

Bu ajoyib qaror ekan.” Va haqiqatni gapirishim

And I think about the times when I have to speak truth.

kerak bo’lgan paytlar haqida o’ylayman.

It feels like I am falling out of that plane.

Men samolyotdan sakrayotganday o’zimni his qilaman.

It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane,

Men samolyotning chekkasida turganday o’zimni his qilaman, va

and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"

o’zimga “Sen buni qilmasliging kerak”,

but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to.

deyman-u lekin baribir qilaman, chunki men qilishim

Sitting at the edge of that plane

kerakligini bilaman. O’sha

and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me.

samolyotning chetida o’tirish va o’sha samolyotda qolish

And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth

men uchun tasalli. Men har kuni mendanda

against institutions and people who are bigger than me

kuchliroq bo’lgan muassasalar va odamlarga qarshi haqiqatni

and just forces that are more powerful than me,

gapirayotganimni his qilaman, o’zimni huddi

I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.

samolyotdan qulayotganday his qilaman.

But I realize comfort is overrated.

Lekin nazarimda qulaylikka o’ta yuqori

Because being quiet is comfortable.

baho berilgan. Chunki jim bo’lish qulay.

Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable.

Hamma narsani borligicha qoldirish qulay. Qulaylik amalga oshira olgan

vazifa, shunchaki vaziyatni borligicha saqlashda.

And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo.

So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable

Shuning uchun biz bu qiyin haqiqatlarni

by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary.

zarur bo’lganda gapirishga odatlanishimiz kerak.

And I --

Va men --

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)

And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths,

Va men bu haqiqatlarni gapirishim kerakligini bilaman, chunki

because honesty is so important to me.

to’g’ri so’zlik men uchun juda muhim.

My integrity is something I hold dear.

Mening yaxlitligim men uchun aziz.

Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option.

Adolat - Men adolatni tanlov deb hisoblamayman. Bizda

We should always have justice.

doim adolat bo’lishi kerak.

Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and --

Bundan tashqari, shea yog’iga asosiy qiymat sifatida ishonaman va -

(Laughter)

(Kulgi) nazarimda agar

and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized.

ko’proq o’zimizga qaraganimizda, dunyo yaxshiroq bo’lar edi. Bular mening

But besides that, with these as my core values,

asosiy qadriyatlari bo’lganligi uchun, men haqiqatni

I have to speak the truth.

gapirishim lozim.

I have no other choice in the matter.

Bu borada boshqa bir tanlov yo’q.

But people like me, the professional troublemakers,

Men kabi odamlar, professional buzg’unchilar,

should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes

har doim samolyotlardan tushadigan dominolar yoki birinchi zarbani

who are always falling out of planes

olishga majbur bo’lgan yagona

or being the first one to take this hit.

odamlar bo’lishi kerak emas. Odamlar

People are so afraid of these acute consequences,

bu o’tkir oqibatlardan shu darajada qo’rqishadiki,

not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms

xonalarga kirganimizda, biz shu xonadagi eng kuchli

and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms --

odamlardan biri bo’lishimiz, biz ikkinchi yo uchinchi --

we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful.

eng kuchlisi bo’lishimiz mumkinligini anglamaymiz.

And I firmly believe that our job in those times

Va men shu holatlarda bizni ishimiz bo’layotgan

is to disrupt what is happening.

nohaqliklarni buzish ekanligiga ishonaman.

And then if we're not the most powerful,

Agarda biz eng qudratlisi bo’lmasakda,

if two more of us band together,

bizni birga birlashganimiz

it makes us powerful.

bizni kuchli qiladi.

It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting,

Bu huddi ayolni majlisga taklif qilish,

you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out,

so’zini aytishga qiynalayotgan ayol

or just making sure that other person who can't make a point

yoki o’z fikrini ifodala olmaydigan odamning gapi eshitilishiga

is being heard.

imkon yaratishdir.

Our job is to make sure they have room for that.

Bizning vazifamiz ular uchun imkon yaratish. Har bir insonning

Everyone's well-being is community business.

farovonligi - bu jamoa mas’uliyatidir.

If we made that a point, we'd understand that,

Shu narsani ommaga anglatolsak, biz yordamga

for the times when we need help,

muhtoj bo’lgan paytlarda, atrofga

we wouldn't have to look around so hard

qaramagan bo’lardik, bizning o’zimiz

if we made sure we were somebody else's help.

yordam beruvchi ekanligimizni anglaganimizda.

And there are times when I feel like

Shunday vaziyatlar borki men o’zimni

I have taken very public tumbles and falls,

huddi omma oldida yiqilganday his qilganman masalan meni konferensiyaga

like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference,

taklif etishdi va men

and they wanted me to pay my way there.

biroz izlanishlar olib bordim va u yerda gapirgan oq tanli kishilarning yo’l

And then I did some research

and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated

and got their travel paid for.

harajatlari qoplanishini bildim.

The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for.

Hamda oq tanli ayollarning ham yo’l harajatlari qoplangan ekan.

The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there.

U yerda gapirgan qora tanli ayollar esa gapirish uchun pul to’lashlari kerak ekan.

And I was like, "What do I do?"

Va o’zimga: “Nima qilaman endi?”

And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly,

Men bu haqida ochiqchasiga gapirsam, moliyaviy zararga

I could face financial loss.

duch kelishimni bilardim. Ammo

But then I also understood that my silence serves no one.

mening ham sukunatim hech kimga xizmat qilmasligini tushundim.

So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,

Shuning uchun bu haqida ochiqchasiga qo’rquv bilan

and other women started coming out to talk about,

gapira boshladim va shunda boshqa ayollar: “Men ham

"I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality."

to’lov tengsizligiga duch kelganman”, deya boshlashdi.

Va bu konferensiya to’lov diskriminatsiya qilishi

And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices

that this conference was participating in.

haqida ommaviy suhbat boshlanishiga turtki berdi. Men

I felt like I was the domino

bir jamoat arbobi haqida havotirli yodnomani o’qib

the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure

u haqida maqola yozgan vaqtdagi kabi o’zimni his qildim.

and wrote a piece about it.

Men bu insonning mendan

I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career,

ko’ra kuchliroq ekanini va mehnat faoliyatimga ta’sir etishi mumkinligini

but I was like, "I've got to do this.

bilardim, ammo “baribir qilishim kerak.

Men bu samolyotning chekkasida ikki soatga o’tirishim kerak” dedim.

I've got to sit at the edge of this plane," maybe for two hours.

And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away.

Va buni qildim. “Chop etish” belgisini bosdim-u

(Laughter)

qochib kettim. (Kulgi)

And I came back to a viral post

Va qaytib kelganimda chop etgan postimga

and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this."

odamlar: “Ey Xudoyim, kimdir bu gapni aytganidan juda ham mamnun bo’ldim “.

And it started a conversation

Va bu ruhiy salomatlik va o’ziga

about mental health and self-care,

g’amxo’rlik haqida suhbatni boshladi, va men o’zimga

and I was like, "OK. Alright.

“Hop, yaxshi.

This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something."

Men qilayotgan narsa, menimcha, o’zgarishga asos solyapti.”

And then so many people have been the domino

Va keyin juda ko’p odamlar kuchli kishilar tomondon

when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men.

hujumlanganlari haqida gapirganlarida ular ham birinchilardan bo’lgan edilar.

And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too."

Va millionlab ayollar birgalikda: “Menda ham”, deyishdi. Buning

So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement.

uchun Tarana Burkga bu harakatni boshlagani uchun rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)

People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are.

Odamlar va tizimlar bizni joyimizda qoldirish uchun sukunatimizga tayanadi.

Endi, birinchilardan bo’lishiz siz kim ekanligingizga taqaladi.

Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are.

So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three.

Men uch yoshimdan beri shubhali odam bo’lib kelganman.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

This is me on my third birthday.

Bu uchinchi tug’ilgan kunimda.

But I've been this girl all my life,

Lekin men butun hayotim davomida shu qiz bo’ldim,

and I feel like even that's been the domino,

shu domino bo’lishimga turtki bo’lganligini

because in a world that wants us to walk around

his etaman, chunki bizni o’zimizni vakil

as representatives of ourselves,

sifatida yurishni xohlaydigan dunyoda

being yourself can be a revolutionary act.

o’zingiz bo’lishingiz inqilobiy harakat

And in a world that wants us to whisper,

bo’lishi mumkin. Va bizni pichirlashni xohlaydigan

I choose to yell.

dunyoda men baqirishni tanlayman.

(Qarsaklar)

(Applause)

Bu qiyin narsalarni aytish vaqti kelganda, men

When it's time to say these hard things,

I ask myself three things.

o’zimdan uchta savolni so’rayman.

One: Did you mean it?

Bir: Uni nazarda tutdingmi?

Two: Can you defend it?

Ikki: Uni himoya qila olasanmi?

Three: Did you say it with love?

Uch: Uni sevgi bilan aytdingmi?

If the answer is yes to all three,

Agar uchalasiga ham “ha” javobi bo’lsa, men

I say it and let the chips fall.

buni aytaman va oqibatidan qo’rqmayman.

That's important.

Bu muhim.

That checkpoint with myself

Bu nazorat nuqtasi menga doimo:

always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this."

“Ha, sen buni qilishing kerak”, deb ta’kidlaydi.

Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths --

Haqiqatni gapirish-mulohazali haqiqatni- inqilobiy

harakat bo’lishi shart emas.

should not be a revolutionary act.

Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are.

Kuchga haqiqatni gapirish qurbonlik bo’lmasligi kerak, ammo shunday.

But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good,

Agar ko’pchiligimiz buni yaxshilik uchun tanlagan bo’lsak,

we'd be in better spaces than we are right now.

biz hozirdan ko’ra yaxshiroq joyda bo’lamiz.

Speaking of the greater good,

Yaxshilik haqida gapirar

I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges

ekanmiz, biz haqiqat ko’priklarinin o’rnatish uchun haqiqatni gapirishga

to common ground,

majburmiz deb o’ylayman.

and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse.

va haqiqatga asoslanmagan ko’priklar esa qulaydi.

So it is our job,

Demak, kuch - qudratga gapirish

it is our obligation, it is our duty

bu bizning vazifamiz, bu bizning majburiyatimiz, bizning burchimiz

to speak truth to power, to be the domino,

birinchilardan bo’lish, faqat

not just when it's difficult --

qiyin bo’lgan paytlarda emas,

especially when it's difficult.

ayniqsa qiyin bo’lgan paytlarda.

Thank you.

Rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)