Chris Abani on the stories of Africa

翻译人员: Danye Wang 校对人员: Tony Yet

My search is always to find ways to chronicle,

无论我干什么，我总是想办法记下来。

to share and to document stories about people, just everyday people.

我愿意分享和记录人们的故事，就是普普通通老百姓的故事。

Stories that offer transformation, that lean into transcendence,

这些故事给人们带来改变，这种改变又引导人们走向卓越，

but that are never sentimental,

但是从来都不伤感。

that never look away from the darkest things about us.

我也从来不会忘记我们生命中最黑暗的时光。

Because I really believe that we're never more beautiful

因为我相信我们人生中的黑暗

than when we're most ugly.

永远比人生中的光明更加动人。

Because that's really the moment we really know what we're made of.

因为在黑暗中我们才真正知道我们的内心世界。

As Chris said, I grew up in Nigeria

就像克里斯说的那样，我生长在尼日利亚，

with a whole generation -- in the '80s --

我出生在上世纪80年代，

of students who were protesting a military dictatorship, which has finally ended.

我们这一代人，学生反对如今已经结束的军事独裁。

So it wasn't just me, there was a whole generation of us.

不仅仅是我，我们这一代人都是如此。

But what I've come to learn

但是我从中学到的

is that the world is never saved in grand messianic gestures,

是世界从来不会因为摆出了一副救世主的姿态得救，

but in the simple accumulation of gentle, soft, almost invisible acts of compassion,

而是因为点点滴滴温和柔软，甚至看不到的出于同情的行动的积累，

everyday acts of compassion.

每天出于同情的行动。

In South Africa, they have a phrase called Ubuntu.

南非语有一个词叫乌班图，

Ubuntu comes out of a philosophy that says,

乌班图来源于哲学，

the only way for me to be human is for you to reflect

对于我来说它的意思就是我之所以成为人，唯一的解释是

my humanity back at me.

你们将我人性的光辉重新折射在我的身上。

But if you're like me, my humanity is more like a window.

但是如果你们像我一样，我的人性更像一扇窗。

I don't really see it, I don't pay attention to it

我并没有看到人性，我也没有注意到，

until there's, you know, like a bug that's dead on the window.

直到……打个比方吧……有一只虫的尸体粘在窗子上面。

Then suddenly I see it, and usually, it's never good.

忽然间我就看到了窗子，这种感觉并不好。

It's usually when I'm cussing in traffic

通常堵车的时候，我就会咒骂

at someone who is trying to drive their car and drink coffee

骂那些想法设法开车，喝咖啡，

and send emails and make notes.

发邮件和记笔记的人。

So what Ubuntu really says

实际上乌班图的意思是

is that there is no way for us to be human without other people.

没有别人，我们也就没法成为人。

It's really very simple, but really very complicated.

这很简单，但是事实上非常复杂。

So, I thought I should start with some stories.

我想我应该用故事开头。

I should tell you some stories about remarkable people,

我想给大家讲讲一些伟人的故事。

so I thought I'd start with my mother.

那么我就说说我的妈妈吧。

(Laughter)

（笑）

And she was dark, too.

她也是黑人。

My mother was English.

我的妈妈是个英国人。

My parents met in Oxford in the '50s,

我的父母50年代在牛津相遇，

and my mother moved to Nigeria and lived there.

然后我妈搬到了尼日利亚，并且在那儿定居。

She was five foot two, very feisty and very English.

她只有5.2英尺高（约158厘米），她精力很旺盛而且英国味十足。

This is how English my mother is -- or was, she just passed.

给大家讲一个故事你们就知道了——但她最近才过世。

She came out to California, to Los Angeles, to visit me,

她来到加州来到洛杉矶来看我，

and we went to Malibu, which she thought was very disappointing.

我们去马里布，她认为这家餐馆很令人失望。

(Laughter)

（笑）

And then we went to a fish restaurant,

然后我们又去一家海鲜餐厅，

and we had Chad, the surfer dude, serving us,

一个叫查德的服务生，也是一个冲浪好手来给我们点菜，

and he came up and my mother said,

他走过来，我妈妈问到，

"Do you have any specials, young man?"

“小伙子，你们有什么特色菜吗？”

And Chad says, "Sure, like, we have this, like, salmon,

服务生说，“当然了，我们有大马哈鱼，”

that's, like, rolled in this, like, wasabi, like, crust.

卷起来吃，山葵还有面包。

It's totally rad."

这简直酷毙了。”

And my mother turned to me and said,

我妈转过来对我说，

"What language is he speaking?"

“他说的是什么话？”

(Laughter)

（笑）

I said, "English, mum."

我说，“妈，是英语。”

And she shook her head and said,

她摇摇头说，

"Oh, these Americans. We gave them a language,

“天哪，这些美国人，我们把英语都给他们了。

why don't they use it?"

他们为什么不用呢？”

(Laughter)

（笑）

So, this woman, who converted from the Church of England

哎，我妈原本信仰英国国教，

to Catholicism when she married my father --

但她嫁给了我爸以后，她就改信仰天主教了——

and there's no one more rabid than a Catholic convert --

没有任何人会比一个天主教的皈依者更急进的了——

decided to teach in the rural areas in Nigeria,

她决定在尼日利亚的农村地区普及知识，

particularly among Igbo women,

特别是在伊博女人中间，

the Billings ovulation method,

普及的知识是比林斯排卵法。

which was the only approved birth control by the Catholic Church.

天主教只允许用这种方法来控制生育。

But her Igbo wasn't too good.

她的伊博语不好。

So she took me along to translate.

所以她拉上我帮她翻译。

I was seven.

那时我才7岁。

(Laughter)

（笑）

So, here are these women,

这些女人

who never discuss their period with their husbands,

从来不和他们的丈夫讨论月经，

and here I am telling them, "Well, how often do you get your period?"

所以只有我去问他们，“额，你月经多久来一次？”

(Laughter)

（笑）

And, "Do you notice any discharges?"

你看到什么液体了吗？

(Laughter)

（笑）

And, "How swollen is your vulva?"

你的阴户有多肿？

(Laughter)

（笑）

She never would have thought of herself as a feminist,

她从来不把自己当成一个女权主义者，

my mother, but she always used to say,

但是她总是说，

"Anything a man can do, I can fix."

“男人能做的任何事，我都能搞定。”

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

And when my father complained about this situation,

我爸对此发过牢骚，

where she's taking a seven-year-old boy

她居然带一个7岁大的男孩

to teach this birth control, you know,

去普及节育知识，

he used to say, "Oh, you're turning him into --

他总是说，“我的天，你在把他变成”

you're teaching him how to be a woman."

不对，你在教他如何做一个女人。”

My mother said, "Someone has to."

我妈说，“总有人要牺牲。”

(Laughter)

（笑）

This woman -- during the Biafran war,

在比亚法拉战争中，我妈

we were caught in the war.

和她的子女都被捕。

It was my mother with five little children.

我妈妈当时带着五个孩子。

It takes her one year, through refugee camp after refugee camp,

一年当中，她从一个难民营到另一个难民营，

to make her way to an airstrip where we can fly out of the country.

最后终于到了机场，我们最终逃离了这个国家。

At every single refugee camp, she has to face off soldiers

在每一个难民营，她都不得不和士兵周旋，

who want to take my elder brother Mark, who was nine,

这些士兵想把我的哥哥马克带走，他当时才9岁，

and make him a boy soldier.

让他去当童子兵。

Can you imagine this five-foot-two woman,

你能想象这个5.2英尺的女人

standing up to men with guns who want to kill us?

是如何对抗那些拿着枪想置我们于死地的士兵的吗？

All through that one year,

那一年，

my mother never cried one time, not once.

我妈从没哭过，一次也没有。

But when we were in Lisbon, in the airport,

我们后来到了里斯本的机场，

about to fly to England,

准备飞到英国，

this woman saw my mother wearing this dress,

一个女人看到我妈妈穿着一条

which had been washed so many times it was basically see through,

洗得发白发透的裙子，

with five really hungry-looking kids,

还拖着5个面黄肌瘦的孩子时，

came over and asked her what had happened.

她走过来问我妈发生了什么。

And she told this woman.

我妈把这一切都告诉了她。

And so this woman emptied out her suitcase

这个女人紧接着就掏空了她的旅行箱

and gave all of her clothes to my mother, and to us,

把她所有的衣服给了我的妈妈

and the toys of her kids, who didn't like that very much, but --

然后又给我们她孩子不喜欢的玩具，但是——½

(Laughter) --

（笑）

that was the only time she cried.

那是她第一次哭。

And I remember years later, I was writing about my mother,

我记得几年后，我写到我妈的时候，

and I asked her, "Why did you cry then?"

我问她，“当时你为什么哭？”

And she said, "You know, you can steel your heart

她说，“在面对任何困难和恐惧时，你可以

against any kind of trouble, any kind of horror.

把你的心铸成铁。

But the simple act of kindness from a complete stranger

但是陌生人任何一点善举

will unstitch you."

却能让你瞬间融化。”

The old women in my father's village, after this war had happened,

战争开始后，我爸爸村子里年老的女人

memorized the names of every dead person,

记住了每个逝者的名字，

and they would sing these dirges, made up of these names.

她们唱挽歌，挽歌是由这些名字组成的。

Dirges so melancholic that they would scorch you.

挽歌非常忧沉，会将你灼伤。

And they would sing them only when they planted the rice,

她们只有在播种粮食的时候才唱，

as though they were seeding the hearts of the dead

就好像她们将逝者的心

into the rice.

植入了粮食。

But when it came for harvest time,

但是等到收获的时节，

they would sing these joyful songs,

她们又会唱一些愉快的歌，

that were made up of the names of every child

歌词是由当年出生的

who had been born that year.

每个孩子的名字组成的。

And then the next planting season, when they sang the dirge,

到了下一次播种的时候，她们也会唱挽歌，

they would remove as many names of the dead

当然她们去掉了很多逝者的名字，

that equaled as many people that were born.

去掉名字的数量等于新生儿出生的数量。

And in this way, these women enacted a lot of transformation,

通过这种方式，这些女人转变了许多，

beautiful transformation.

这是一种美丽的转变。

Did you know, that before the genocide in Rwanda,

大家知道吗，在卢旺达种族灭绝发生以前，他们的语言里

the word for rape and the word for marriage

强奸和婚姻

was the same one?

是同一个单词？

But today, women are rebuilding Rwanda.

但是今天妇女在重振卢旺达。

Did you also know that after apartheid,

大家知道吗，在种族隔离以后，

when the new government went into the parliament houses,

新政府进入国会大楼以后，

there were no female toilets in the building?

发现大楼里没有女厕所。

Which would seem to suggest that apartheid

这似乎也暗示了种族隔离

was entirely the business of men.

完全是男人弄出的事。

All of this to say, that despite the horror, and despite the death,

这些都说明了，除了恐怖，除了死亡，

women are never really counted.

妇女都被排斥开。

Their humanity never seems to matter very much to us.

她们的人性似乎对我们来说从未有太大的影响。

When I was growing up in Nigeria --

我在尼日利亚的时候——

and I shouldn't say Nigeria, because that's too general,

我不应该说尼日利亚的，因为这个概念太宽泛，

but in Afikpo, the Igbo part of the country where I'm from --

应该是乌尔霍伯，是伊博的一个村庄，我来自那里。

there were always rites of passage for young men.

每个小伙子成人时都要举行成人典礼。

Men were taught to be men in the ways in which we are not women,

教导男人成为男人的方法是要我们知道我们不是女人，

that's essentially what it is.

这是问题的关键。

And a lot of rituals involved killing, killing little animals,

很多仪式和杀有关，就是杀死小动物，

progressing along, so when I turned 13 --

贯穿整个仪式，我满13岁的时候——

and, I mean, it made sense, it was an agrarian community,

恩……这是一个农业社会，

somebody had to kill the animals,

必须有人来捕杀动物，

there was no Whole Foods you could go and get kangaroo steak at --

那里没有全食市场你可以去烤袋鼠——

so when I turned 13, it was my turn now to kill a goat.

我满13岁的时候，该我来杀一只山羊。

And I was this weird, sensitive kid, who couldn't really do it,

我当时是一个非常古怪、敏感的孩子，根本无法做到，

but I had to do it.

但是我不得不做到。

And I was supposed to do this alone.

而且我还必须一个人完成。

But a friend of mine, called Emmanuel,

但是我的一个朋友叫伊曼纽尔，

who was significantly older than me,

比我大得不多，

who'd been a boy soldier during the Biafran war,

他在比亚法拉战争中当过童子兵。

decided to come with me.

他决定和我去。

Which sort of made me feel good,

这让我松了一口气，

because he'd seen a lot of things.

因为他见多识广。

Now, when I was growing up, he used to tell me

他原来总是告诉我

stories about how he used to bayonet people,

他怎么去刺别人，

and their intestines would fall out, but they would keep running.

那些人的肠子掉出来了都还在跑。

So, this guy comes with me.

他当时就陪着我。

And I don't know if you've ever heard a goat, or seen one --

我不知道你们有人听过羊叫或者是看到过羊没有——

they sound like human beings,

他们叫起来就像人一样，

that's why we call tragedies "a song of a goat."

这也就是为什么我们把灾难叫做“羊之歌”。

My friend Brad Kessler says that we didn't become human

我的朋友布拉德•凯斯勒说直到我们开始养羊

until we started keeping goats.

我们才成为人。

Anyway, a goat's eyes are like a child's eyes.

不管怎么说，一只羊的眼睛就像一个孩子的眼睛。

So when I tried to kill this goat and I couldn't,

我尽力去杀这只羊，但是我做不到，

Emmanuel bent down, he puts his hand over the mouth of the goat,

伊曼纽尔弯下身，他把手放到羊的嘴上，

covers its eyes, so I don't have to look into them,

蒙上它的眼睛，所以我不用看它们。

while I kill the goat.

这些都是在我杀这只羊的时候他做的。

It didn't seem like a lot, for this guy who'd seen so much,

对于这样一个见多识广的人来说，这是小菜一碟，

and to whom the killing of a goat must have seemed

杀一只羊简直

such a quotidian experience,

是家常便饭，

still found it in himself to try to protect me.

但是我发现他内心上想保护我。

I was a wimp.

我是个窝囊废。

I cried for a very long time.

我哭了很久。

And afterwards, he didn't say a word.

我哭的时候他没说一句话，

He just sat there watching me cry for an hour.

他只是坐在那里看我哭了一个小时。

And then afterwards he said to me,

哭完了他对我说，

"It will always be difficult, but if you cry like this every time,

这确实很难，但是如果你每次都像这样哭的话，

you will die of heartbreak.

你会因心碎而死。

Just know that it is enough sometimes

有时候知道难

to know that it is difficult."

就够了。

Of course, talking about goats makes me think of sheep,

当然了，说到山羊让我想到了绵羊，

and not in good ways.

是不好的联想。

(Laughter)

（笑）

So, I was born two days after Christmas.

我的生日是在圣诞节后的两天。

So growing up, you know, I had a cake and everything,

每年我都有蛋糕和其他所有的东西，

but I never got any presents, because, born two days after Christmas.

但我从来没得到过生日礼物，就因为我出生在圣诞节后两天。

So, I was about nine, and my uncle had just come back from Germany,

大约在我九岁那年，我舅舅从德国回来，

and we had the Catholic priest over,

天主教的神父当时也在家里，

my mother was entertaining him with tea.

我的母亲给他上茶的时候，

And my uncle suddenly says, "Where are Chris' presents?"

我的舅舅忽然问道，“克瑞斯的礼物呢？”

And my mother said, "Don't talk about that in front of guests."

我妈妈说，“别在客人面前提礼物。”

But he was desperate to show that he'd just come back,

但是他很绝望地显示出他刚刚回来，

so he summoned me up, and he said,

所以他喊我过去对我说，

"Go into the bedroom, my bedroom.

“到我的卧室里。

Take anything you want out of the suitcase.

打开行李箱，想拿什么拿什么。

It's your birthday present."

就当作你的生日礼物。”

I'm sure he thought I'd take a book or a shirt,

我肯定他以为我拿了一本书或者是一件衬衣，

but I found an inflatable sheep.

但是我发现了一只充气绵羊。

(Laughter)

（笑）

So, I blew it up and ran into the living room,

我吹好气，跑进客厅，

my finger where it shouldn't have been,

我的手指放到了不应该放的地方，

I was waving this buzzing sheep around,

我把这只羊到处晃来晃去，

and my mother looked like she was going to die of shock.

我妈当时看起来要被我雷死了。

(Laughter)

（笑）

And Father McGetrick was completely unflustered,

神父McGetric却很镇静，

just stirred his tea and looked at my mother and said,

只是搅拌下他的茶，看着我妈说，

"It's all right Daphne, I'm Scottish."

“没事，达芙妮，我是苏格兰人。”

(Laughter)

（笑）

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

My last days in prison, the last 18 months,

我在监狱的最后的日子，一年半吧，

my cellmate -- for the last year, the first year of the last 18 months --

我的狱友——最后一年，一年半的第一年——

my cellmate was 14 years old.

我的狱友只有14岁。

The name was John James,

他的名字是约翰•詹姆斯

and in those days, if a family member committed a crime,

那时候如果家里面一个人犯罪，

the military would hold you as ransom

军方会把你当人质关押起来

till your family turned themselves in.

直到你的家人进监狱。

So, here was this 14-year-old kid on death row.

当时这个14岁的男孩在死囚区。

And not everybody on death row was a political prisoner.

并不是死囚区的每个人都是政治犯——

There were some really bad people there.

上面当然也有真的很坏的人。

And he had smuggled in two comics, two comic books --

他走私了两本漫画书——

"Spiderman" and "X-Men."

蜘蛛侠和X战警。

He was obsessed.

他很着迷。

And when he got tired of reading them,

当他读厌的时候，

he started to teach the men in death row how to read,

他开始教死囚区里的那些人来读

with these comic books.

这些漫画书。

And so, I remember night after night,

我还记得夜复一夜，

you'd hear all these men, these really hardened criminals,

都可以听到那些人，那些刀枪不入的罪犯，

huddled around John James, reciting, "Take that, Spidey!"

挤在约翰•詹姆斯的周围，说，“蜘蛛侠，拿着！”

(Laughter)

（笑）

It's incredible.

这太不可思议了。

I was really worried.

我当时很担心。

He didn't know what death row meant.

他不知道死囚区意味着什么。

I'd been there twice,

我去过那儿两次，

and I was terribly afraid that I was going to die.

我非常害怕我会死。

And he would always laugh, and say,

他总是笑笑说，

"Come on, man, we'll make it out."

“来吧，我们会出去的。”

Then I'd say, "How do you know?"

我说，“你怎么知道的？”

And he said, "Oh, I heard it on the grapevine."

他说，“我打听来的小道消息。”

They killed him.

他们还是杀了他。

They handcuffed him to a chair,

他们把他铐在伊个椅子上，

and they tacked his penis to a table with a six-inch nail,

他们将他的生殖器用六英寸长的钉子钉在桌子上。

then left him there to bleed to death.

他们就让他慢慢流血而死。

That's how I ended up in solitary, because I let my feelings be known.

于是我就被单独拘禁了，因为我公开表达我的不满。

All around us, everywhere, there are people like this.

在我们周围，无论何处，都有像这样的人。

The Igbo used to say that they built their own gods.

伊博人过去总是说他们创造了自己的神。

They would come together as a community,

他们会聚集起来成为一个社区，

and they would express a wish.

他们会集体许愿。

And their wish would then be brought to a priest,

牧师会为他们的愿望

who would find a ritual object,

举行一个宗教仪式，

and the appropriate sacrifices would be made,

会供上合适的祭品，

and the shrine would be built for the god.

会修一个供奉神的庙宇。

But if the god became unruly and began to ask for human sacrifice,

但是如果神开始专制，而且开始要人来当祭品，

the Igbos would destroy the god.

伊博人会毁掉神。

They would knock down the shrine,

他们会砸掉神庙，

and they would stop saying the god's name.

他们不再说神的名字。

This is how they came to reclaim their humanity.

这就是他们如何宣扬他们的人性。

Every day, all of us here,

每天，我们每一个人，

we're building gods that have gone rampant,

都在创造飞扬跋扈的神，

and it's time we started knocking them down

现在我们应该推翻他们

and forgetting their names.

忘记他们的名字。

It doesn't require a tremendous thing.

这不需要轰轰烈烈的壮举。

All it requires is to recognize among us, every day --

需要的只是看到我们每天身边出现的，

the few of us that can see -- are surrounded by people

很少人能看到的事，

like the ones I've told you.

就像我告诉你们的故事。

There are some of you in this room, amazing people,

在座的各位有些是非常卓越的人，

who offer all of us the mirror to our own humanity.

你们给我们提供了一面人性的镜子。

I want to end with a poem by an American poet called Lucille Clifton.

我想以美国诗人露西尔 克利夫顿的诗来结尾。

The poem is called "Libation," and it's for my friend Vusi

这首诗叫"奠酒"，写给我的朋友西，

who is in the audience here somewhere.

他也来到了现场。

"Libation,

“奠酒，”

North Carolina, 1999.

1999年，北卡罗来拿。

I offer to this ground, this gin.

我走向大地，端着杜松子酒。

I imagine an old man crying here,

冥冥中一个老人在这里哭泣，

out of the sight of the overseer.

监工看不到这里的一切。

He pushes his tongue through a hole

他将自己的舌头塞进

where his tooth would be, if he were whole.

嘴中的窟窿，仿佛他还依然完整。

It aches in that space where his tooth would be,

牙齿本应填满窟窿，可如今却剧痛无比，

where his land would be,

还有他的土地，

his house, his wife, his son, his beautiful daughter.

他的房子，他的妻子，他的儿子，以及他漂亮的女儿。

He wipes sorrow from his face,

他拭去了脸上的痛苦，

and puts his thirsty finger to his thirsty tongue,

把他干枯的手指放到干涸的舌头上，

and tastes the salt.

品尝到了咸。

I call a name that could be his.

我轻唤他的名字，不知是真是假，

This is for you, old man.

献给你，老人。

This gin, this salty earth."

这杯杜松子酒，这咸咸的土地。”

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）